Money Saving Mom®

Well, this past week was anything but boring! 🙂 It was so eventful, in fact, that I didn’t have time or energy to get this post written on Sunday, like I usually do! 🙂

On Tuesday, we said goodbye to Jesse for 13 days.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. We’re so glad he gets this opportunity to travel to Israel with our pastors and a group from our church! I’m happy I get to “hold down the fort” (as he has done so many times!) so that he can go!

But since he’s so involved in our every day life — especially now that he’s home full-time — he’s left a HUGE hole in his absence.

Just juggling the essentials of what Jesse does (almost all the kids’ activities, half the cooking, most of the errands, and at least half of the home responsibilities) + what I do + being as available for the kids as I can possibly be has kept me plenty busy.

But there were some other things that kept me busy, too…

(I look super tired here… because I was! :))

I LOST MY PHONE the day after he left!!!

I had it in the car when I picked the kids up from school. I had it a few blocks away from our house.

When I got home, we were taking backpacks and things in the house and I noticed there were maggots crawling on the floor of the back seat of my car.

Queue the complete GROSS OUT emoticon and me going into full-on, crazy car-cleaning mode.

When I was convinced all maggots had been 150% evicted from the car, I ran inside to bring a few things in and got distracted for a few minutes with kid stuff.

A few minutes later I went out to get my phone the rest of the stuff from the car.

And POOF, the phone was gone.

We tore the car apart. We went through every article of everything that had been in the car. I retraced my steps multiple times. I went through every room in the house. I went through the car again. And again.

I went through all the trash cans and the outside dumpster. I went though the fridge and freezers. (I was desperate!!)

No phone. Nada. Nothing.

I began to panic as I rarely ever lose anything… and the last thing I wanted to lose while Jesse was gone was my connection to him and all the numbers saved on my phone.

It was scary and unnerving and stressful — especially because there’s an issue with my iMessage password so it doesn’t work for texting from my computer AND because Find My iPhone said that my phone was offline (it had been fully charged and on).

But here’s what I learned: I am way too dependent upon my phone and upon my husband. God allowed me to not have either to rely upon because He wanted to remind me to trust fully in Him, put on my big girl pants, and deal with this situation. It was good for me and I realized that I am more capable than I believe myself to be.

In addition I learned that: you should not rely upon your husband to know some of your passwords, you should backup your iPhone more often than once every 64 weeks (!!!), and that paying for phone insurance was a really, really good deal!

(I have to say HUGE props to Asurion — the company my phone was insured with. They were incredible to work with and, once I had filled out all the paperwork and Jesse faxed in what he needed to from Israel, I was able to get a new phone overnighted to my doorstep in less than 24 hours. And it was a fraction of what it would have cost for me to go buy a brand-new phone!

This weekend, I chaperoned an overnight retreat for my 5th & 6th grade class at church. There were 50+ kids at the retreat and it was quite the adventure!

Our day and a half was filled with: Outdoor games (in the morning cold!!), 9-square in the air, Gaga ball, string art, worship, preaching, small group sharing times, getting to pray with so many girls as they shared and poured their hearts out, s’mores, and rock-climbing.

(All three kids attempted the rock climbing wall and both girls made it to the top and Silas made it halfway! Swipe through the pictures here to see all three of them!)

Can I just say how proud I am of my kids? Silas got to go to the retreat since Jesse was gone. He was such a trooper… Playing the games right along with the older kids, staying by my side for a long, long time while I was praying with someone or talking with someone or helping lead small group… and he never complained about the long day or the fact that he was ready to go play or be done!

Both girls made me so proud today, too. As I’ve alluded to online, the last few months have been especially stretching for me as a mom as my girls walk into puberty. They are growing and changing and asking hard questions and challenging me and struggling with hormones and trying to navigate a lot of new and unknown in their lives.

I’ve felt inadequate. I’ve messed up. I’ve wondered how on earth to respond when faced with new situations, new questions, and new attitudes. And there are days when I’ve wondered if all the work and time and effort that goes into parenting is really worth it.

But then there are days like this weekend when I see my daughters — separately and completely on their own — sitting next to a girl who is crying, with their arm around her, just loving on her and being with her. I see their incredibly tender hearts for the lonely, the hurting, the left out, the wounded… and I’m just humbled and grateful.

I’ve taken your advice on my Instagram to lower the standards and give myself grace while Jesse’s been gone, so in addition to calling cereal a legit meal, I’ve also given myself permission to not do all the house cleaning I usually do (it will still be there waiting when Jesse gets back!), to wear a baseball cap instead of fixing my hair, to buy more convenience foods, to hand off more projects to my team, to only exercise for 15-20 minutes per day, and to watch more shows with my kids (we watched and entire season of The Amazing Race this week!)

We miss Daddy something fierce, but we’re making fun memories, we’re working together to get things done, I’m focusing on one day at a time, and trying not to think about how many days are left or what all I need to tackle without Jesse here in the coming week.

Oh and one of the best parts of Jesse being gone? We’re having a Slumber Party in my room every night! Everyone — including me! — is sleeping better that way!!

Jesse comes back in 6 days and we can hardly wait. In the mean time, if you want to follow along with our adventure in his absence, you can follow me on Instagram.

P.S. This experience has taught me so much and reminded me to be so grateful that I have a wonderful husband who usually shoulders so much of the load. I think of all of the single moms and dads. The military spouses. The women whose husbands travel like this really regularly. And those of you who have spouses who work incredibly long hours or who are (for some reason or another) not a support. And I can’t imagine how you do this all the time. Truly. Wow!

Welcome to my weekly Sunday post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.

What I’m Reading

I am almost finished with listening to the Lilac Girls audiobook and have really loved it. I think the fact that it is so well narrated has made it such a good listen. It’s a really compelling, tragic, and gripping story of the horrors of concentration camps.

(Note: I almost stopped listening to it because there was some edge-y stuff in the first part and I was afraid it was going to get worse as progressed. But it ended up getting quite a bit better as it progressed. Do note that it it is very much PG-13 and I would only recommend listening to it with headphones in if you have kids at your house!)

I also started reading Different by Sally & Nathan Clarkson — at the raving recommendation of many of you.

What I’m Celebrating

At the beginning of this year, I made the commitment to develop the habit of compartmentalizing work and family more and to be completely offline for at least 5 hours every day.

You guys, I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference this has made! I’m able to be so much more fully present with work during work hours and with my family during my offline hours.

The other night, I was sitting on the couch while Kaitlynn spent 45 minutes playing with my hair (something she loves to do) and Silas was sitting beside me at my feet and we were just together. With no agenda. With no to do list. And I didn’t have a laptop or a phone — or even a book! I was just there… fully present soaking up the everyday-ness of our ordinary, but beautiful life.

Me being completely offline for a big block of time every day means I say “Hurry up!” a lot less. It means I can fully engage with my family without constantly checking the time. It means that — more and more — this slower, relaxed just being together with no agenda thing that used to be so foreign to me is becoming the norm.

Here’s the interesting thing: I thought that working more hours = getting more done. In reality, I’m learning that working fewer hours means I’m a lot more productive, focused, and efficient during those hours. And I’m getting a lot better at prioritizing what is really important and what can just be skipped or saved to do later.

What I’m Trying

I told you last week how I was trying to assign specific chores to specific days of the week. I’m super excited about my new Home Management Binder that I’ve been working on for the past two weeks, inspired by the Home Management How To Course.

Each day of the week is assigned a specific chore/task area and then I put together lists for that chore area. I’m also putting a sticky note on each page for me to add other ideas/tasks for that area that I think of throughout the week.

I’ve been gently easing into this system for the past week — despite initially thinking it would never work for us! — and I’ve been shocked at the difference it is making and how well it is working!

You can watch my video here where I explain about the binder in greater detail and share how I’m using it to keep our home and life in better order

What I’m Watching

We watched the latest episode of Designated Survivor this week and we’re continuing to really enjoy this show!

We’re also watching a lot of basketball around here as we cheer on our favorite teams in the NCAA tournament. We all filled out brackets this year, and so we’re all a lot more invested in who wins! 🙂

Unfortunately, I picked Villanova to win the championship on my bracket… so, as Silas told me yesterday, my bracket is busted! 😉 {And if you want to read a funny story about me and how I have a lot to learn when it comes to being a sports moms, go here to read my Instagram post.}

But regardless of the fact that my bracket picks weren’t that great, I’m loving getting to share this with Silas and to be excited with him about something he’s really excited about!

What I’m Learning

For years, I was a huge proponent of the whole “Get up before your kids get up so you can start the day with some quiet.” I wrote blog posts about it. I talked about it in my book. I spoke about it at conferences. And I practiced it religiously.

I still think it can be a great practice — especially for homeschooling moms and moms with babies and toddlers. However, it’s a practice I’ve almost completely given up this year. Which might surprise and shock some of you. But it’s been such a good change for our current season.

You see, I’m making sleep more of a priority and sleeping in until 6:30 or 7 am most mornings. Plus, our kids need to be up by 7 am to be out the door to school by 7:50 am 4 mornings a week.

It wasn’t working for me to get enough sleep, get up and get some quiet, and get the kids out the door by 7:50 am.

So instead of trying for all three things, I changed my approach and made my new mantra: “Get up and devote the first hour of the day to my kids.”

You know how much I love this first hour of the day now? It’s when I get to really talk with my kids, help them with whatever they need help with, make sure they have their lunches packed, help the girls with their hair, sit and snuggle with a child who needs a little extra TLC, and just be fully present and available for the kids.

It allows the mornings to be calm, non-stressed, non-rushed, and often is when I have some of the best conversations with the kids. I love starting the day with making sure their love tanks are filled up — and I’m pretty sure it means that their day starts on a good foot, too!

And yes, I still get in some quiet time — it just doesn’t happen first thing in the morning anymore. And I’m okay with that!

What I’m Pondering

Recently, I’ve noticed many comments from women who are feeling weighed down with guilt that they just aren’t doing a good enough job at life.

That they should do more, get up earlier, be more disciplined, or just plain “get it together”. I can guarantee you this: if you think another woman has unlocked the secret to a perfectly happy life with no issues or struggles or failures, you are believing a lie.

Because we all have our areas we struggle in.

For instance, those of you who have said you wished you could be more like me. Well, here’s some reality for you…

I had a heated argument with my husband earlier this week that took 24 hours to resolve. And it was started by me about something utterly ridiculous. (#wifefail)

I forgot to feed my son before his baseball game on Thursday. Yes, as in, it didn’t hit me that he hadn’t eaten until we were in the car, on the way to the game — and we were running late. Jesse had to go pick up food during the game and have him eat while he had a chance in the dugout. (#momfail)

And one of my dear friends texted me really, really upset about a situation on Wednesday afternoon and I didn’t get a chance to text her back until Thursday night. (#friendfail)

And those are just a few situations from this week.

You guys. I don’t have my act all together here. And neither does anyone else.

So let’s stop comparing ourselves to impossible fantasies we’ve created in our heads about the perfect lives of other women

Comparison will steal your momentum, kill your contentment, and strangle your joy.

Embrace your strengths. Accept your weaknesses. Celebrate your successes. Give yourself grace when you fail. And, for Pete’s sake, stop beating yourself up for stuff. It’s really okay to go against the grain or be different or make choices that maybe other people don’t get.

Do what is best for you and your own family — and don’t ever feel like you need to apologize for it!

In Case You Missed It

My posts from this past week:

• Hard-Boiled Eggs in the Instant Pot
• When It Feels Like You’ll Never Get Out of Debt
• 5 Ways You Can Make a Difference — Even on a Budget

My YouTube video from this past week:

• Healthy Snacks I Take When I Fly

Congratulations to Donna who won the stack of books I gave away last week. You should have received an email from me with details on claiming your prize.