Money Saving Mom®

One of the greatest gifts you have to offer: The ministry of your presence

6 Things Our Family Has Chosen to Splurge On

How on earth is it possible to get 8 hours of sleep at night?!?

9 More Ways to Save Money in the Kitchen

How to Make 20 Freezer Meals at ALDI for $150

{The four of us together at a cabin in the mountains last year.}

The four of us met two years ago at the SheSpeaks Intensive. We were all in the same breakout group at the conference together and we connected within the first day.

We live in 4 different time zones. Our age range spans about 15 years. But, despite this, God knit our hearts together and forged a deep and lasting bond between us.

We’re all authors and speakers trying to manage full lives, fulfill the calling God has given us, and keep our families as our main priorities. We all have very diverse backgrounds and stories, but similar struggles. And we all knew we needed some safe friends to join us in this sometimes tumultuous and exhausting journey.

From the get-go, we committed to be all in as friends. To make our friendship a priority. To speak the truth. To cheerlead. To love well. To always believe the best. And to deal with conflict immediately.

Over the past two years, our bond has been strengthened as we’ve weathered a lot of life together…

{At the Launch Conference together last year with a “Flat Stanley Renee”.}

We’ve celebrated book launches and successes. We’ve cried together over heartache and struggles. We’ve laughed over the silliest of things.

We’ve prayed countless prayers… over health issues, big decisions, personal struggles, and so much more. We’ve walked through the death of loved ones together.

We’ve stayed up way too late talking together in person. And we’ve blown up many a text stream together in just a matter of minutes.

We’ve seen each other at our worst and our best. We’ve shared hotel rooms and bathrooms. We’ve cooked meals together, grocery shopped together, and gotten lost driving way too many times.

{The four of us together at a cabin in the mountains last year.}

And, most recently, we’ve walked through Michele’s battle with cancer together. Our hearts have bled for her and the pain and suffering she’s undergone as a result.

We’ve rallied around and supported her as best we knew how from afar — sending care packages and flowers and cards and texts and emails. Storming the gates of heaven on her behalf. Doing all we can to make her laugh. Being a safe place for her to share about those dark hours.

But we wanted to do more than just text and write and pray and send gifts in the mail. We wanted to go. To be there. To hold her hand. To sit with her in her pain. To be in the same room with her. To try to communicate how much we love her.

So, a few months ago, we worked out babysitters and speaking schedules and calendars and blocked off the days around Michele’s book launch to go to be with her. And on Saturday, we each boarded a plane — from California, North Carolina, and Tennessee — and flew to Denver to be there with her.

We were so honored that she would let us come — especially so soon after her treatments and while she’s still in the thick of the recovery process. We couldn’t stand not being with her.

On Monday, Michele had a little energy so we were able to take her to a local spa and then got coffee drinks and sat on her couch and laughed and cried and shared our hearts.

Tuesday — the day of Michele’s book launch — was a hard day for her. She was in a lot of pain and really exhausted. She spent most of the day resting. But even when she was sleeping, we wanted to be as near to her as we could.

So we all sat on one L-shaped couch, prayed for her, talked quietly, watched her Amazon book rankings soar, and updated her on how her book launch was going every time she woke up.

We kept asking her if she needed anything or if she wanted us to leave. And every time, she’d say, “No, I just want you near to me. I need you here. I just want to wake up and have you close by me.”

Friends, so much of the time, we want to serve and do things for other people. We want to try to fix their problems. Or lessen their pain. Or we feel like it’d be easier for them if we leave them alone.

There is a time and a place for helping in practical ways, but sometimes, those who are going through dark times just need someone to come and sit with them in their pain and hurt.

They don’t need words. They don’t need acts of service. They don’t need fixing.

They just need the ministry of your presence. They just need to know that they are not alone.

The beautiful and unexpected result of this was that each of us left our time together feeling so filled up. And our hearts were further knit together by just sitting together like this. Not doing. Not fixing. Just being there for our friend in her hour of need.

Sometimes, the best way to help is to just to sit with someone in their pain.

So I encourage you: who in your life is struggling? Who is going through a dark and difficult situation?

Go sit with them — either physically or metaphorically. Let them know that they are not alone. That you are with them. That you love them. And that you are going the distance with them.

Give them the ministry of your presence. It’s one of the greatest gifts you have to offer.

I attended my first MOPS meeting tonight. When they introduced the video I think I gave an audible “Yay!” (Hopefully it wasn’t too loud?) when I saw it was a video from you explaining living with intentionally. When it was time to discuss, I joyfully began telling how I follow your posts and how your time management of “fringe” time and blocking off 8 hours of sleep were life changing for me. But, several just couldn’t believe 8 hours of sleep is possible, even when you “live intentionally.” How do you encourage people who are skeptical that it is possible?? -Luci

First off, Luci, I loved this email from you! Thank you for being such a devoted reader. I was truly touched and grateful to hear that things you have read here have encouraged you and made such an impact on your life.

Here are a few thoughts to answer your question:

I know I say this often, but I’m going to say it again: I think it’s always important to remember that what works for one person will not necessarily work for another.

So what might be the perfect solution for you and your family in your season of life may not work at all for a different family in a different season of life. Do what works for you. And don’t worry if it’s completely different than what works for someone else.

I’m thrilled that you’ve found ways to make sleep a priority and are getting 8 hours of sleep every night! That’s fantastic! However, for moms who are still getting up multiple times each night with a toddler or baby, for women who struggle with insomnia, for pregnant women, or for those with other physical issues or limitations, getting a solid 8 hours of sleep each night just might not be possible.

When I encourage people to make sleep a priority, it’s because I believe that many of us are sleep deprived and exhausted and that this is contributing to a number of physical issues. But I don’t say this to lay a guilt trip on women or to put everyone in a one-size-fits-all sleep box.

Some people genuinely need more sleep than others. Some people can truly function well on less sleep. Figure out what works for you.

If you’re feeling exhausted all the time, look at your schedule with your spouse or a good friend and ask them for their input on how you might be able to fit more sleep into your schedule. Get creative, if need be!

Some ideas: Maybe you could sneak a nap in while your baby naps in the morning. Or maybe you could go to bed when your kids do. Perhaps you could find a way to sleep in a little extra in the mornings. Or maybe you could even take a mid-afternoon nap with your toddler.

In addition, make sure you’re exhaustion is actually sleep related and not the result of poor diet, lack of exercise, not drinking enough water, too much stress, or another physical problem that’s contributing to you feeling fatigued.

No matter what season of life you are in, do make sleep a priority. This doesn’t have to mean 8 hours of solid sleep every night, but it does mean that you prioritize sleep and that you take opportunities you have to sneak in naps, go to bed early when you’re tired, and get up a little later if you’re feel drained. It might mean that some other things get set aside so you can squeeze in a little extra sleep, but it will be worth it. Because here’s the thing: if you make sleep a priority, it will have a positive trickle down effect into almost all other areas of your life.

What advice and thoughts do you have for Luci? How do you prioritize sleep in your life? I’d love to hear!

photo credit

Want some practical help with setting up your day for success? Be sure to grab a copy of my brand-new online course, Make Over Your Mornings.

This 14-day online course includes videos, a workbook, and step-by-step projects and is designed to help you revolutionize your productivity, streamline your routines, invest your time in things that truly matter, and find more joy and peace in the process.

If you’ve ever wished that you could figure out how to get more done, have more organization in your life, and find time to spend on things you love, the Make Over Your Mornings Course is for you. Find out more about it here.