Check out this list of 8 Ways to Drink More Water Every Day. There is also a free printable tracker you can download.
Summer Bucket List
Classic View
Grid View
Stop Making Excuses & Get Up & Set Some Small Goals
For 15 days, we’re exploring the topic of making our health and well-being a priority as part of the 15 Days to a Healthier You series. You can read Day 1 here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here, Day 4 here, and Day 5 here.
I believe one of the biggest reasons people don’t get where they hope to go — or don’t really get anywhere in life! — is because they don’t set goals. Goals bridge the gap between dreams and reality.
It’s fairly easy to brainstorm. It’s very easy to day dream. It’s hard to get on your work clothes and get busy. But if you don’t know where you’re going in the first place, it’s almost guaranteed you’re never going to make it there.
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. You have to change something if you want to see change.
Yesterday, we took some time to talk about three Do’s and Don’t’s that I believe are imperative to lay the foundation for successful goal-setting. Now that we’ve laid that foundation, I want to walk you through some simple steps to successful goal-setting:
1. Jot Down ALL Your Ideas
Over the course of the next 24 hours, start jotting down every goal idea that pops into your head that you’d really like to tackle soon. Whether it’s a project you want to work on, a skill you want to learn, a fitness goal, a weight-loss goal, a desire to change your eating, the fact that you want to get more sleep, a financial milestone you want to hit, something you’d like to accomplish… there are no wrong answers!
If you’re anything like me, your list of ideas will probably be very long. This is completely okay! Don’t let it freak you out or make you hyperventilate. You’re just brainstorming to help you narrow down and prioritize your goals list.
The more ideas you have, the more you have to work with and streamline. So don’t hold back; write everything down that comes to mind!
2. Prioritize Your List.
Once you’ve come up with (probably) an extensive list, go over it carefully and thoughtfully considering which items on the list are really going to make a specific and near-immediate impact upon your every day life. Always keep in mind first what your priorities are for the season of life that you’re in.
Think specifically through each area of priority in your life and see what items on your list match up with those priorities and which can be instantly discarded. As you contemplate your list of ideas in light of your priorities, it might also cause you to come up with other ideas you need to add to your list. If that happens, then go ahead and add those items and go back to prioritizing your list.
3. Pare Down Your List.
After you’ve prioritized the list, pare that list down to the top two or three. If this is a struggle for you, step back and try to think of how each goal will directly your life.
Thinking things through to the direct effects over the course of the next few months usually is all it takes for me to prioritize and decide upon the most important priorities.
For instance, learning to make Artisan Bread is something I really, really want to do someday (along with about 50039 other things!), and it would be a fun idea to pursue at some time, but it’s not in line with my current priorities so I would pare it immediately off the list.
But making time to exercise is something that is high on my list of goals because it directly and positively impacts all four of my main priorities in life right now — it helps me stay healthier (priority: myself), it gives me more energy to be a better mom (priority: motherhood), it helps me be more creative and focused as a business owner (priority: MoneySavingMom.com), and it’s something I love getting to do with my husband every day (priority: marriage).
Not all items on your list need to positively impact all your priorities, but you had better be able to make a really strong case for how an item is going to majorly impact at least one of your priorities for it to stay on your list. I encourage you to pare down your list to 2-4 items that you feel will make the greatest overall impact on your priorities in the season of life you’re in.
Free Printable Goal-Setting Worksheets
To help you out, here are two printable and customizable Goal Planning Forms you can download, type into, save, and print. Or, you can just print them and hand write your goals in.
4. Define your 2-4 specific, detailed, and actionable goals.
Once you have your list of the top 2-4 items you want to focus on, then it’s time to create specific, detailed, actionable goals for that focus area.
For instance, if you want to focus on getting in a better financial position, maybe you decide you want to set a goal to save a specific amount of money, or have a goal to set up your retirement accounts this year, or to read books at least 5 books on improving your financial situation, or to go through Financial Peace University, or to start a frugal friends group.
Each of these is a specific, detailed, actionable goal with a start and end date. You will know when you have accomplished the goal. That’s what makes it a goal in the first place. If your is not detailed and actionable enough to know when it is accomplished, then you need to go back to the drawing board and refine it until you get there.
5. Create your plan of action.
After you’ve defined your goal, then create a specific plan for how it’s actually going to happen. Otherwise, it will just be a good idea that never goes anywhere!
For instance, if you want to read 5 books on getting handle on your finances, you need to choose the five books, figure out when you’ll fit in reading into your schedule, and then set a goal for how much you’ll read every week.
As I just did there, I highly recommend that you break your goals down into bite-sized pieces. A big goal can seem overwhelming and daunting as a whole, but when broken down into small pieces, it becomes much more doable.
If one of the save up a specific amount of money, break it down into monthly and then weekly savings goals. Look at your budget and decide where you’re going to come up with the extra money. Will you lower your grocery bill by $10 per week and then put that money toward your savings goal? Will you work an extra few hours and save that money toward your goal?
When you break your goal down to a weekly bite-sized piece, you are better able to know exactly what you need to do to stay on track. If you want to read 24 books next year, you know you’ll need to read two books per month, or half a book each week. That boils down to around a chapter per day, give or take. That’s much more concrete and doable than a big audacious goal of reading 24 books in a year.
6. Get Some Accountability.
Want to guarantee you have more success in following through with your goals? You need some accountability!
In our Make Over Your Year course, we recommend that you to set up 3 different forms of accountability:
- A Person: a real-life person or group of people who will keep you accountable and check in on you.
- A Product: an app, a printable, an ebook, or spreadsheet that will help you track your milestones.
- A Party: a plan to celebrate when you reach the milestones you have set up for yourself. This gives you something to look forward to and will keep you going on the hard days.
Setting up multiple forms of accountability, gives you more motivation and it sets up a variety of checks and balances — which will hopefully help you stay on task when you want to quit or get distracted.
Remember: Do What You Can Do and Let Go of What You Can’t Do
We’re all in different seasons and stages of life. We all have different challenges and struggles. Think about your own unique challenges.
Some of you are in school full-time. Some of you work full-time. Some of you have lots of little children. Some of you have a brand-new baby (or twins!). Some of you have health issues.
Some of you are caring for elderly parents or grandparents. Some of you are in the middle of moving cross country. Some of you are dealing with a death of someone you love. Some of you are pregnant or in the middle of adopting. Some of you have children with special needs. Some of you are going through heart-breaking circumstances that many of us can’t even begin to imagine.
No matter your age or stage of life, you have your own set of difficulties and things to juggle. If it’s not something you can change, accept it realizing that what you’re able to accomplish will not be what someone else who is in a different season of life is able to accomplish. And that’s perfectly okay!
I love Teddy Roosevelt’s motto: “Do what you can with what you’ve got where you are.” All we can do is all we can do.
Spending time wishing we were in someone else’s shoes doesn’t change or improve our situation. If you’re in a really busy season of life, you may only be able to devote an extra 10 minutes five times per week to tackling your goals. Don’t be discouraged.
Do what you can do and don’t worry about what you can’t do! Because doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.
Day 6 Project
If you don’t have any specific goals in your life right now, take some time over the next 24 hours to go through the steps outlined above and determine a few simple goals, break them down into bite-sized pieces, and set up some accountability.
If you already have some specific goals, go through the steps above and make sure your goals are in line with your priority, are doable, and that you have a specific plan of action and some accountability in place.
If you are willing, I’d love to hear what a few of your goals are. Share them with us in the comments!
Want Step-By-Step Goal-Setting Help?
Need some encouragement to create realistic goals and follow through with them? Go check out our 4-Week Make Over Your Year Course.
This 4-week course includes a comprehensive downloadable workbook, printable worksheets to walk you step-by-step through the goal-setting process we’ll teach you, additional resources and links for each week, and 4 one-hour-long pre-recorded Group Coaching Sessions taught by my husband and me.
It’s just the gentle kick-in-the-behind you need to actually be successful in goal-setting!
Get Make Over Your Year for just $29 here today!
More Helpful Resources:
- Feeling like a goal-setting failure? Read my posts on Why I Bombed My 2014 Goals and Why You Need to Set Goals According to Your Own Abilities.
- If there’s one key to goal-setting success I can give you, it’s this: Write Down Your Goals. Read more why you should do this here.
- See examples of my Yearly Goals here and My Weekly Goals here.
A Fun & Frugal Surprise I Got For the Kids This Week
Last week, I saw that Amazon had this 53-piece Children’s Art & Drawing Set super inexpensive, so I scooped one up as a surprise for my kids using gift cards I’d earned through Swagbucks.
I was really, really impressed with the set when it came in! This set includes: 12 Washable Color Marker Pens, 12 Color Pencils, 12 Oil Pastels, 8 Color Changers Markers, 4 Highlighters, 1 Ruler, 1 Eraser, 1 Sharpener, 1 Mechanical Pencil and 1 Pencil Lead Pack.
My kids were SO excited about the set, too. In fact, I wanted to show it on my Facebook Live video and take pictures of it for this post and I could barely keep them from keeping their hands off it it until I got both of those things done! They’ve had fun using it to draw and create with!
This would not only make a fun gift for your kids, but would also make a great gift to buy and put in your birthday gift stash for upcoming birthdays your kids might be invited to!
It’s just $4.96 on Amazon right now. I’m not sure how long the price will be that low so if you’re interested in this deal, I’d recommend going ahead and buying it now.
Shared Jul 13, 2016
comment
You CAN be a world-class goal-setter… or at least learn to follow through with goals!
You CAN be a world-class goal-setter… or at least learn to follow through with goals!
For 15 days, we’re exploring the topic of making our health and well-being a priority as part of the 15 Days to a Healthier You series. You can read Day 1 here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here, and Day 4 here.
My husband is a world class goal-setter (well, in my book, at least!). He has goals for everything pretty much — from what he eats, to what he reads, to his personal fitness, to investing in the lives of our marriage and family, to our businesses, to giving to others, to making an impact on the world… and on and on it goes.
He has detailed checklists in Evernote to track his goals and he meticulously checks his goal lists weekly to see where he’s at and how much progress he’s making.
I was born with a very task-driven, to-do-list oriented personality, so goal-setting is something that I’ve always aspired to and been attracted to. However, for years, I struggled to actually set realistic, attainable goals.
Not only does my over-achieving personality have the tendency to set huge, impossible goals, but I also have a very-easily-distracted personality.
I Have Great Intentions… And Then, Squirrel!
You see, while my husband is a world-class goal-setter; I’m a world-class starter. He’s very detailed and methodical. I’m the get-‘er-done sort of girl.
So when I see something that should be done or I think should be started or I think I should do or I think is a great idea, my tendency is to just jump out and start. My motto tends to be something like: Stop waiting around researching and weighing your options and just jump in and do something.
This motto is fantastic in many ways. I do get a lot done. I don’t waste a lot of time thinking through all the options and ramifications. And I don’t spend a lot of energy stressing over which choice I should make.
I just pick something and dive right in. The only problem is that while I’m really great at diving in, I’m not so great at actually swimming all the way to the finish line.
Oh, trust me, I have incredible intentions. But then there’s shiny thing after shiny thing after shiny thing that distracts me from staying focused on my original plans and goals.
So pretty soon, I see another pool or another lane that looks like it’s a better option, so I go dive right into that and start swimming. I plan to make it to the other side of that pool or finish that swim in that lane but then I see another, better pool or lane, so I then dive into that one. And on and on it goes.
Over the past 13 1/2 years that I’ve been married, as I’ve observed my husband’s goal-setting, read books on goal-setting, and experimented with goal-setting in my own life, I’ve come to realize how life-transforming goal-setting can be — when done the right way.
3 Do’s & Don’t’s of Goal-Setting I’ve Learned
I learned that I had to stop setting these huge goals, stop being overwhelmed by all the possibilities, and start getting really honed in on what was realistic for me in the season of life I was in… and then I had to create an action plan with tiny baby steps that would take me exactly where I wanted to go.
Here are my top 3 tips to be successful with goal setting…
1. Don’t Be Intimidated!
You probably have heard many people tout the importance of goal-setting by now, but you feel like you just can’t seem to get it. Like everyone else has mastered this goal-setting thing… except you.
Well, trust me, you’re not alone. I hear from readers every single week who feel overwhelmed by goal-setting or who feel hopelessly stuck in a rut or who feel like they just can’t figure out how to get started with goal-setting.
Maybe you feel like you have so many things you want to do with your life that the thought of even knowing where to start is mind-boggling. Maybe you have set goals in the past only to fall short so you feel defeated when it comes to goal-setting. Maybe you just don’t even know where it is you want to go and or what it is you want to aim for.
Don’t be intimidated! I know exactly how you feel because I was there twelve years ago!
2. Don’t Be Overwhelmed!
I wanted so badly to figure out how to follow through with all of my big dreams and plans and ideas, but I just couldn’t seem to get any traction. Oh, I had lots and lots of big dreams. But when it actually came down to going anywhere with them, most of them just fizzled out and lost steam because I didn’t know how to break those big dreams down into tiny step-by-step pieces.
It’s so easy when you start considering goal-setting to become overwhelmed by all the areas in your life you feel are in desperate need of change.
From being a better wife and mom, to becoming more organized, to losing weight, to getting your finances in order, to starting a business or blog, to writing a book, to learning a new skill, to starting a new ministry or being involved in one that’s already existing, to eating more healthfully, to learning to cook from scratch, to cutting your grocery bill, to experimenting with do-it-yourself ideas, to remodeling part of the house or redecorating a room, to being more involved in your church or community… and on and on the list goes.
We women have so many responsibilities on our plates and we have dreams, ideas, and all sorts of things we’d love to do if we could ever find an extra ten hours in our day. But the reality is that those extra ten hours probably aren’t going to be falling from the sky any time in the near future. So we must work with what we have — and do the best we can with that.
3. Do Determine Your Priorities
Think about what your priorities in life are. What are those things that you want to wrap your time and energy around? Where do you want to be in six months from now?
Think of a few areas that will have the biggest impact on your life. If you’re not sure what to start with, consider which areas are the greatest stress-inducers right now. Is it your weight? Is it your lack of organization? Is it your finances? Do you want to get more organized? Or get on a better schedule? Or increase your income? Or make time for fitness?
I have 4 areas that I’m really focusing on this year: my marriage, my mothering, myself, and MoneySavingMom.com. I’m aiming to wrap my life, my time, and my energy around those priorities. If an opportunity arises, if it doesn’t fall in line with those priorities, then I’m more than likely going to say no to it.
To be honest, I have a lot of other areas in my life that could use improvement. I can either focus on all the things I want to do and all the improvements I want to make and all the areas I feel like I’m failing in, or I can choose to say: I only have time and space in my life to focus on a few things so I’m going to make those a priority and let a lot of other things slide.
None of us can do it all and we can’t do everything in every season. When you know your priorities, it allows you to create goals that are realistic.
It’s amazing how much of a difference goals can make in your life when you don’t just set them, but then you also actually follow all the way through with them! I’ve been amazed at how much more productive and intentional I’ve been in my own life.
Instead of being really busy but having little to show for it, goal-setting has helped me to be much more purposeful in how I spend each and every day. In addition to accomplishing many more things that actually matter, I’m living a much more fulfilled life.
Tomorrow, we’ll talk very practically on how to set realistic goals and create a plan of action to help you follow through with them. You can do this! I’m cheering for you!
Day 5 Project
- What are some of the roadblocks holding you back from success in goal-setting? Really think through this and then tell us in the comments.
- What are your priorities in this season of life? This should be a small list of the few most important things you want to wrap your time, life, and energy around. Tell us what these are the comments.
More Helpful Resources:
- Read my posts on 4 Things That Will Keep You From Goal-Setting Success and How to Avoid Becoming Overwhelmed With Goal-Setting.
- Pick up a copy of The ONE Thing Book and my 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life ebook.
Gretchen’s $7.78 Target Shopping Trip
Target Shopping Trip
2 Black Forest Organic Gummies – $1.79 each
Used 30% off Cartwheel coupon
And used 2 $0.75/1 printable1 KidFresh Frozen Meal – $2.99
Used 15% off Cartwheel coupon
And used $1/1 printable
And used $1/1 Ibotta rebate4 Friskies Cat Concoctions Wet Cat Food – $0.49 each
Used 2 Buy One Get One Free printable (took off $0.60 each)2 All Laundry Detergent (53 loads) – $5.09 each
Used 30% off Cartwheel coupon
And used 2 $1/1 printableTotal before coupons and rebate: $18.71
Total after coupons and rebate: $7.78
Frugal Family Fun: Family Water Balloon Fight
Two weeks ago, on Saturday night, we told the kids that we had a special surprise planned and we would reveal it as soon as the house was all clean.
You better believe that was a motivation for them to help us get everything whipped into shape around here in no time at all!! They kept guessing and guessing and we kept saying, “We’re not giving you any hints!”
The only hints we told them were that it was at our house, it was with our family only, and it was probably something they’d never guess. That just made them more intrigued! 🙂
When the house was spic and span and the laundry was done, we had them all sit at the table in the backyard and cover their eyes.
Then, we handed them the packages of Bunch of Balloons and told them they could open their eyes. They were SO excited when they realized we were going to have a family water fight and that Mom and Dad were getting in on the fun, too.
This was the first time we’d used these balloons and we will never go back to filling water balloons individually again. These are the BEST ever!
They are a little bit pricier than a bag of balloons at the Dollar Store, but for the time and effort saved they were SO worth it. It literally took us 5 minutes to fill 200+ balloons!
I seemed to have a huge target on my back the entire fight and the kids (and Jesse!) had a BLAST chasing me down and pelting me with water balloons!!
Overall, we had a blast and got in some great cardio, too (some from chasing each other around and trying to dodge balloons and some from laughing so hard that it hurt!)
We topped off the evening with roasting s’mores around the fire pit. And it was an evening we’ll remember for a long time!
And look what I found at Kroger yesterday?? $5 for a fun and unforgettable family night? I’d call that a deal!
What are your favorite Frugal Family Fun ideas? Tell us in the comments!
P.S. Need some more encouragement to be a Fun Mom? Watch this Periscope video I did earlier this week.
I hit the mother lode of markdowns at Kroger yesterday!!!
So, yesterday afternoon, I ran into Kroger to quickly see what Back to School Deals they might have available (see all the Back to School Deals I found here). While I was there, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to walk the perimeter of the store to see if I could find any markdowns.
For those of you who don’t have a Kroger or Kroger affiliate store, Kroger is a large retail grocery store chain that is well-known for offering great weekly in-store sales and clearance prices.
Every store is different, but most stores are pretty generous in how they will mark down soon-to-be expiring dairy products, produce, bakery products, and meat. You never know what you will find and it often feels like a Treasure Hunt… going throughout the store looking for the yellow clearance tags!
It’s often hit or miss on what you will find and yesterday was most definitely a HIT day! In fact, had I had more time, I probably could have found quite a few more deals. (Watch my video here yesterday where I shared all about these deals and my excitement in getting them and more details on how I plan to use some of these items!)
I first spotted the meat and bread deals and was so excited about that. I plan to use the meat in crockpot meals or as a stovetop hash (we’ll likely add potatoes or sweet potatoes, onions, and maybe carrots and then cook in the crockpot or on the stovetop) and I’ll freeze the bread to use as buns for sandwiches and as bread to accompany dinner. Yum!
Then, I saw flowers for $1!!!!! I’ve never seen flowers marked down that much EVER. And I may have done a happy dance right there in Kroger! 😉
I was scanning the dairy section to see if I saw any yellow stickers… and I saw one yogurt marked down and then saw another and another… and I just kept finding them marked down!!
My kids absolutely LOVE Greek yogurt and we go through so much of it that I was thrilled to find all of these — all marked down to $0.19 to $0.49 each. A few of them were a little interesting flavors, so I just bought a few of those (but I had one of the Cherry Beet yogurts today and it was actually really good!)
I usually have to sort of put limits on how many yogurts they can eat a day, but since I bought 40 yogurts that need to be eaten up in the next week, I’m raising all the limits on yogurt eating for a week! And the kids were SO excited about that!!
The only item I bought that was not marked down was half & half. Because we were out and I use it every day in my coffee… so it was kind of a necessity! 😉
All the groceries pictured were just $31.38 total! I was stoked… and it inspired me to be more intentional about taking a little time to run into stores regularly and check for markdowns. Because it kind of feels like you won the lottery or something! Getting great deals on items that you love and that are in your budget = pure thrill!
Have you gotten any great deals recently? Tell us about them in the comments!
Back to School Deals I Found at Kroger This Week
I ran into Kroger last night to see if they had any Back to School Deals worth mentioning and I ended up hitting the mother lode of markdowns (I’ll share all the details of that in a separate post this afternoon, but you can also watch my video here to see me talk about all of the deals I got).
While I was there, I found some decent Back to School deals and wanted to share them here so you could be on the lookout for them at your Kroger store.
They had 1-subject 70-count Spiral Notebooks for $0.19. Walmart might have them for $0.10 and we might see them for a dime at some other stores during the Back to School sale season this year, but $0.19 is still a great price.
I love to use these to write my daily lists on or for scratching out blog post ideas, mapping out live video outlines, and other brainstorming ideas.
Composition Notebooks were $0.49. These are so great for kids. My kids love to use them as journals and I love to use them for my daily to-do lists, too.
Note: I always have a notebook with me and I use it incessantly as my brain for stuff I need to remember that day. Everything else goes into my Google Calendar System. But for the current 24 hours, it’s all in the notebook. Because pen and paper still rocks! 🙂
Scissors were $0.79 and pencil sharpeners were $0.59.
They had Crayola crayons for $0.49. We’ll see this price at a lot of stores during the Back to School sale season. My target price for Crayola crayons is $0.25 per box. Office Depot/Office Max has Crayola crayons for $0.25 per box this week — though your store may already be out of stock.
Have you found any great Back to School Deals this week? Tell us in the comments!
Be sure to sign up for our daily email newsletter to get all of the best back to school deals emailed to you every week! And read my post here for 5 Simple Ways to Save on Back to School Deals.
Cut the Negativity & Fill Your Mind with GOOD Things!
For 15 days, we’re exploring the topic of making our health and well-being a priority as part of the 15 Days to a Healthier You series. You can read Day 1 here, Day 2 here, and Day 3 here.
A few months ago, a friend who knows me very well and has earned the right to speak truth in my life gently confronted me by saying, “Crystal, do you realize that you have a very negative view on life?”
Honestly, I didn’t know what to think because I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty positive person. I’m the person who will see the good in hard situations. I’ll find the blessings from failure. I’ll look for ways to bloom wherever I’m planted.
So at first, I was really taken aback. But this friend went on to explain how I’m always talking about how hard things are.
“You tend to have a negative perspective on life. When you look back, all you can see is how hard everything was. Is there ever a time in your life when you look back and think, ‘Life has been wonderful!’?”
Ouch! Ouch! I didn’t want to hear it, but I knew it was true.
Without realizing it, I’ve spent so much of my life looking back with negative-colored glasses. I look back on the week and will recount the hurtful, the discouraging, the hard. I’ll often say, “I had a really hard conversation” or “Last night was hard” or “That was such a hard time in our life.”
Now I’m not discounting that life is hard sometimes. But in all honesty, I have so much to be grateful for. So much. And I, of all people, should be looking for the beautiful, the praise-worthy, and the positive.
So, inspired by my friend and because I wanted to do something a little radical to change up my perspective, I made this commitment:
I will only speak positive words about everyone. I refuse to say negative words about anyone to anyone.
Little did I know how much this seemingly simple commitment would change my life.
As soon as I made the commitment, I was shocked at how I kept catching myself starting to say something negative. I had no idea how much negativity was spewing out of my mouth.
I could have justified it by saying, “Well, I’m just stating facts!” But even if those were true facts, did I really need to be telling Jesse or my close friends how a comment on my blog had bothered me. Or did I need to be complaining about a situation where I felt hurt or upset?
In addition, I was shocked to discover how much negativity I’ve allowed to take up residence in my brain. My whole thing is to choose joy and choose love, but I didn’t realize how I was often “choosing negativity”. I hate to admit that, but it’s true.
I was looking at situations around me and picking out the hurt, the hard, the pain, the discouraging, the struggles. I was also making up stories about situations — spending a lot of time thinking negative thoughts or stressing over what appears to be a negative situation or purporting a negative perspective on a situation.
It reminds of this quote from Rising Strong: “In the absence of data, we always make up stories.” It seems I’ve become quite skilled at jumping to conclusions and concocting stories when I haven’t taken the time to fact-check and make sure that assumptions are true. My brain can run wild with stories that aren’t true — just based upon a small little thing.
For instance, if I’m in a situation with a friend and she acts kind of cold toward me, I have sometimes made up a big story — that I’ve offended her, that she doesn’t like me, that she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore… when it could just be that she has something hard going on and she’s struggling with it. Or maybe she has been hurt by me about something.
Making up stories about a situation and then getting frustrated or hurt by someone based upon stories I made up or basing my actions and attitude toward someone on stories I made up is no way to live! It’s a surefire way to spend life feeling discouraged and disappointed — and likely needlessly, in most situations!
3 Ways This Challenge Has Changed Me
This challenge has truly changed my life! Here are 3 specific ways it has impacted me:
1. I’m talking a lot less! This challenge has opened my eyes to the fact that I say a lot more negative words than I realized I did. When I am only saying positive words, I have fewer words to say — which is a good thing. 🙂
2. I have a whole lot more space in my brain. By not speaking negatively of others, it has caused me to nip a lot of my negative thoughts in the bud and replace them with positive thoughts. I realized that I had been devoting a lot of brain space and energy to thinking about situations that were bothering me, upsetting me, or feeling hurtful to me.
3. I’m a lot happier. When I don’t dwell on the negative or rehash the negative with others, it gives me space to really notice and appreciate the beauty around me. It also gave me energy and space to pursue more creative things and to brainstorm great ideas for our business and family.
Of course this doesn’t mean that frustrating or hurtful situations haven’t come up. Sure, I’ve dealt with many things since I’ve made this commitment that would have usually triggered me into a tailspin of stress or negative thoughts or story concoctions.
Rather than dwell on what seemed like someone saying something hurtful or someone doing something that bothered me, I’ve decided to look for the good and the beautiful all around me.
I’ve been a whole lot happier because my focus is on the beautiful, wonderful, positive things in life. And I’m finding that I love life a whole lot more when I focus on those!
Need some ideas on what to replace the negativity in your life with? Here are two ideas:
1. Replace the Negativity with Gratitude
Your attitude can make or break your situation. You can choose to focus on what you don’t have or you can choose to be thankful for what you do have.
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. When you have a thankful, grateful spirit, you’ll automatically have more joy, zest for life, and energy. It’s the natural outflow of gratitude. And not only will you have more energy, but I promise you’ll just plain enjoy and appreciate life a lot more if you choose gratitude.
Struggling to be thankful when you feel so much negativity and frustration about a situation? Try writing down a list of your blessings. As I’ve found, when you start writing down your blessings, you just may have trouble stopping!
Some days, I text pictures of myself like this to my family and close friends… just to make them laugh! 😉
2. Replace the Negativity with Laughter
It’s well been said, “Laughter is the best medicine.” It’s amazing how smiling, laughing, and seeing the humorous side of life can just make life more enjoyable.
We laugh a lot at our house. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at each other, and we sometimes laugh for seemingly no reason at all — or at least we forgot what it was that we were first laughing about. 🙂
We say dorky things. We act like goofballs. We have inside jokes. We use silly voices and accents just because. We sing opera… even though we can’t sing opera. 😉
I’m always on the lookout for a funny story to share with Jesse and the kids. And we also love to watch comedy clips or funny movies as a family.
When you start feeling discouraged by a negative situation, try distracting yourself with humor instead of worry and stress. Not only will it likely lift your spirits, it might keep you from going down a rabbit hole of discouraging thoughts.
Day 4 Project
- If you’re brave, join me in the No Negativity Commitment. Maybe start with just committing to stick with it for a day or a few days and then see if you can extend it? If you’re planning to join me, leave a comment letting me know you’re in!
- Pay attention to how many negative thoughts you think over the next 24 hours. As much as is possible, look for ways to replace those negative things — either with gratitude, or laughter, or serving others, or something else that re-focuses your brain on something positive and upbeat.
Resources to Check Out:
- A Complaint-Free World (I’ve not read this one yet, but I just got it recently because it came highly recommended by a friend!) and/or One Thousand Gifts.
- Read my article on How Choosing Gratitude is Changing My Life.
- Want to motivate yourself to focus on the blessings? Get a copy of my Choose Gratitude Blessings Journal.
- Need a laugh today? Some of our favorite clips on YouTube are from Tim Hawkins. Have any favorite good, clean, family-friendly funny clips to share? Leave a link to them in the comments. I’d love to check them out!
Shared Jul 10, 2016
comment
5 Things I’m Loving This Week (+ get a FREE box from Rocksbox jewelry!)
5 Things I’m Loving This Week (+ get a FREE box from Rocksbox jewelry!)
1. Free Coffee at Panera
I didn’t get the free coffee at Panera all month long offer on my card, but a friend of mine did and she’s not drinking coffee right now so she gave me her card to use all month long! So it’s given me an excuse to sneak out to Panera for some quick coffee breaks — by myself! (Something that this introvert needs to do every once in a while!)
2. Family Walk in the Rain
I’ve been working on being more intentional to be a “fun mom”. It’s not something that comes naturally to me, but it’s something that’s important to me and that my kids love.
So one night this week, I suggested we take a walk as a family and then come back and have a dance party. While we were walking, it started raining… which made the walk that much more fun and exciting for the kids. 🙂
I won’t be sharing any photos or video evidence of our dance party, but I will tell you that it was pretty epic and filled with laughter — especially when Jesse and I started having a dance off. The kids thought it was utterly hilarious!
3. The National Museum of United States Air Force
We traveled to Ohio for Kaitlynn to compete in a figure skating competition this weekend. We went a day early so we could go to the National Museum of the USAF. I’m not really a big museum person — especially when it comes to looking at airplanes for hours! — and honestly wasn’t really excited about going.
But you know the fun mom thing I just told you that I’m working on? Well, I decided to just have a good attitude about it since Jesse and the kids were really excited about it.
I ended up loving the museum! It was a hundred times better than I expected and I didn’t want to leave when we had to because they were closing. Jesse was shocked that I was so into it and kept stopping to read all the plaques (that’s not my usual personality; he’s usually the one wanting to read everything and I’m trying to patiently wait for him!). I found it so fascinating and interesting that I couldn’t help myself… I wanted to read everything and learn all I could! Maybe the non-crazy-busy-Crystal loves museums and I just didn’t know it because I was so focused on productivity before??
I’m going to devote an entire post to the museum because we enjoyed it so much and I took so many pictures. Plus, it is FREE so am amazingly frugal family activity! Look for that post coming in the next week or so.
4. Facebook Live
I decided to start a daily morning show on Facebook Live this past week and I am just loving it! I’m still doing the Morning Motivation Show on Periscope around 8:15 a.m. CT every morning, but that show is focused on inspirational and encouraging content — kind of a shot of motivation to get your day going.
I wanted to do something more money-saving and frugal-related for Facebook Live, so after some thought and a little experimenting and then getting ideas from other people, I launched the Money Saving Mom LIVE show. It starts right around 8:30 a.m. CT (once I finish up my live show on Periscope) and I share what’s coming on the blog that day, a money-saving tip of the day, and the best deals of the day. I also throw in other fun things — like unboxing my first Rocksbox (see below).
I’d love to have you join us — you can leave comments, ask questions, and interact with the other viewers in real-time. You can see an example by checking out Friday’s LIVE show here.
5. This New Bracelet from Rocksbox (get a FREE month!)
I absolutely adore this new bracelet I got from Rocksbox. I never would have thought I would like this style, but I really do!
If you’re interested in trying it out, be sure to read my really honest Rocksbox review for my honest thoughts about the pros & cons of this service. You can also get a FREE month when you sign up and use my code moneysavingmomxoxo at checkout!
(I definitely think it’s worth trying out for free. Just please put a reminder on your calendar to cancel the subscription before the 4 weeks is up in case you decide it’s not for you. I’d hate for you to get charged for something when you expected it to be free!)
Note: Want more information about Rocksbox? You can watch my Unboxing Video here to see what was in my box and hear more about this service.
“Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”
What are YOU loving this week? Tell us in the comments!
OVER-SPENDING EVERY SINGLE MONTH?Grab these FREE Budgeting Sheets!
Click here to download!
Whatever you practice at, you will improve at
“It’s a simple rule of life: whatever you practice, you will improve at.” -Elizabeth Gilbert
What do you want to improve at? Finances? Friendship? Organization? Writing? Cooking? Painting? Time management? Budgeting?
Start practicing. Work on it for 15 to 30 minutes every day. Read books and blogs about it. Listen to podcasts about it. Talk to other people who are good at it. And by all means, just start doing it.
You probably won’t be good at first. You might not be good at it after months of practice. But you will improve at it.
Keep practicing. Keep learning. Keep critiquing your work and trying again.
A daily commitment to the practice of almost anything will eventually turn you into a master of it or an expert in it.
It starts with the commitment to just begin practicing.
Gretchen’s $49 Grocery Shopping Trip and Weekly Menu Plan
Aldi
1 pkg Flour Tortillas – $1.19
1 lb Butter – $2.99
3 Plums – $0.29 each
1 pkg Roma Tomatoes – $1.49
1 pkg Red Grapes – $1.58
2 pkgs Cheese – $1.69 each
1 pkg Chocolate Chips – $1.79
1 dozen Eggs – $0.99
2 can Green Beans – $0.49 each
1 jar Pasta Sauce – $0.99
1 pkg Green Peppers – $1.69
1 Applesauce – $1.89
1 pkg Strawberries – $1.29
Total: $21.12
Dillons
1 gallon Milk – $1.99, used $0.25 Ibotta rebate – $1.74 after rebate
1 bag Potatoes – $2.99
1 Simple Truth Almond Milk – $1.99, used $0.50/1 e-coupon – $1.49 after coupon
1 Gatorade Fuel Bar – $1, used Free e-coupon (no longer available) – Free after coupon
1 Romaine Lettuce – $0.99
1 lb Sterling Silver Ground Beef – $3.99
1 Cucumber – $0.50
1 bag Kroger Frozen Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts – $6.99, used $1.50/1 e-coupon – $4.49 after coupon
2 Chex Mix – $1 each, used $0.50/2 e-coupon – $0.75 each after coupon
1 Kroger Peanut Butter – $0.99, used $0.45/1 e-coupon – $0.54 after coupon
2 Kroger Cream of Chicken Soup – $1 each
2 Kroger Cottage Cheese – $1.99 each (These were marked at $0.99 each but rang up as $1.99! I didn’t realize this until I got home. Oh well!)
1 Larabar Bars – $4.89, used $1/1 e-coupon – $3.89 after coupon
Total after coupons and rebate: $28.10
Total for all groceries: $49.22
Menu Plan for This Week
Breakfasts
Cereal x 3
Toast & Eggs x 3
Oatmeal & Fruit
Lunches
Macaroni & Cheese, Carrots
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, Veggies
Cheese, Crackers, Fruit
Tossed Salad Bar
Baked Potato Bar
Leftovers x 2
Dinners
Papa Johns Pizza (Free using points!)
Chicken Tortilla Bake, Tossed Salad
Slow Cooker Chicken Stroganoff, Steamed Peas
Slow Cooker Easy Lasagna, Green Beans, Amish White Bread
Pancakes, Eggs
Chicken Noodle Casserole, Tossed Salad
Cheesy Hamburger Potato Soup, Biscuits, Fruit Salad
When it feels like there’s nothing we can do…
My husband and I stayed up late last night watching the news unfold in Dallas on a livestream online. And our hearts are heavy over all of the events of this past week. So heavy.
It feels like there’s nothing we can do. And yet, I woke up this morning realizing that there IS something we can do.
We can choose to be peacemakers. Right where we are.
Who will join me? We might not be able to change the world at large, but we can make a difference in our little piece of it.
Instead of holding grudges and dwelling on the negativity, let’s reach out with open arms of compassion to ALL whom we come in contact with today.
Let’s choose love, forgiveness, and kindness. The world is in great need of this… and it doesn’t cost us a penny to give it. But it just might radically change someone’s life — including our own!
P.S. I encourage you to read this post by Jen Hatmaker and also watch my periscope video from this morning.
Shared Jul 7, 2016
comment
Love the life you actually HAVE instead of wishing for the life she has
Love the life you actually HAVE instead of wishing for the life she has
For 15 days, we’re exploring the topic of making our health and well-being a priority as part of the 15 Days to a Healthier You series. You can read Day 1 here and Day 2 here.
We can stop trying to be someone we’re not. Happiness begins in that moment, when we look within and say, “I was not created to be her; I was created to be me”. Happiness is an inside job. You don’t find happiness by being the best version of someone else; you find happiness by being the best version of you. –The Happiness Dare
If you want to succeed at not being happy, I’ve got the guaranteed path to accomplishing that: try to live someone else’s life.
Spend your days comparing yourself to her. Wish you could be her. Do everything you can to be like her.
This will make you feel so unhappy. You’ll probably feel frustrated that you just can’t do it like she does. You’ll probably beat yourself up over the fact that you’re not as good as her. And you’ll stress over not measuring up.
Or, you can choose to be YOU. To focus on making the most of where you are. To intentionally cultivate the ground right where you are. To do all you can to be the best version of you.
I loved the encouragement in The Happiness Dare to stop trying to feel like we had to try to do what makes other people happy and fulfilled and instead find our own happy spot.
Don’t look at others and think, “It makes her happy to garden, so I should do that, too!” By all means, if the thought of planting and weeding and harvesting sounds amazing to you, go do it (even if that is just with a little container garden on your porch!).
But if the whole gardening thing sounds utterly boring and exhausting to you, please give yourself the grace to not feel obligated in any way to become a Master Gardener. Unless you want to be miserable.
You have to figure out your own happy spot, instead of thinking that what will bring someone else joy and fulfillment is also going to bring you the same joy and fulfillment. Don’t try to be her, because you aren’t her.
I’ve wasted much of my life pining away for a different time, a different season, a different set of circumstances.
No more.
I’m committing to love my actual life. The one I’m really living. Right here. Right now. Today.
It’s sometimes messy. It’s sometimes disorganized. And I rarely get everything done that I hope to in a day, but that doesn’t mean I can’t embrace it, savor it, and fall in love with it.
It’s a gift. All of it. And the more I choose to see it as such, the more I notice the gifts and the beauty all around me.
So many people have asked me in the past week after reading this post of mine, “How do I figure out what makes me come alive and feel happy? I don’t even know where to start. How did you figure out what to even try and experiment with?”
If you feel like that, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
- What makes me feel happy?
- If I had an entire day to myself and napping wasn’t an option (!), what would I choose to do?
- What are some of my happiest memories?
- What do other people say to brings life to me and puts a smile on my face?
As I’ve been taking the Happiness Dare, I’m realizing that there are so many beautiful things all around us, but often, I’ve been too busy and focused on productivity that I’ve missed them. This dare has really challenged me to look around my world and find the happy. To add more shots of joy into my every day life. To wring the delight out of what might seem ordinary.
I’m letting myself take time to slow down and enjoy a bike ride, to buy those discounted flowers, really be in the moment in a conversation, to savor the beauty of the ocean, to slowly enjoy books, to eat more ice cream, to wear colors I love, to stop saying to myself, “That’s not who you are!”
My daughter said to me the other day, “Mom, you’ve been laughing a lot more recently!” I know she’s right.
By intentionally seeking to do things that make me smile more, I have a lot more joy in my life. And I think this joy is becoming contagious!
We can’t change who we are, but we can make the most of our situation. We can’t choose the personality we are born with, but we can choose to be thankful–even in the midst of difficulty.
And we can choose to be intentional and purposeful in how we live our lives so that we make the most of all that we’ve been given instead of wishing we were someone else.
Note: Want to talk more about this with me live? I’d love to have you join me on Periscope (around 8 to 8:15 a.m. CT) and Facebook live (around 8:30 a.m. CT) every morning where we’ll be discussing each day’s topics more in-depth and you can bring your questions, chat with others, and we can share together what we’re learning! (You can watch today’s Facebook Live video here.)
Day 3 Project
- Look around you. Really look around you. Notice the wonderful things in your life. Let yourself stop and really savor those blessings. Don’t take them for granted!
- Ask yourself the following questions (if you need extra help, ask your spouse or a close friend):
- What makes me feel happy?
- If I had an entire day to myself and napping wasn’t an option (!), what would I choose to do?
- What are some of my happiest memories?
- What do other people say to brings life to me and puts a smile on my face?
- Based upon your answers, what’s one simple way you can seek to cultivate more happiness in your every day life today? Tell us in the comments! I can’t wait to hear what you come up with!
Resources to Check Out:
- Pick up a copy of The Happiness Dare.
- Read this short post of mine on Instagram on how untethering from pursuing more is giving me so much joy!
- Want to stop sleep-walking through life? Be sure to grab a copy of my online course, Make Over Your Evenings.
- Consider taking the 9-month challenge found in Loving My Actual Life.
Why we’ve GOT to re-define the term “self-care”
For 15 days, we’re exploring the topic of making our health and well-being a priority as part of the 15 Days to a Healthier You series. You can read Day 1 here.
Before we go any further in this series, I think it’s important that we define self-care. It’s a term that gets bandied around a lot and I think it is often misused and abused.
The reality is this: I don’t want to just survive life. Thus, I’m not looking for survival tactics.
I want to thrive. I want to live life as my best, boldest, and bravest self. I want to live up to my fullest potential.
Yesterday I talked about the importance of making our health and well-being a priority, but I want to be clear: I’m not making self-care a priority so I can cope with life. I don’t want to limp along through life just trying to make it.
I want to prioritize self-care so I can succeed in life. So I can grow stronger, embrace life more fully, love more enthusiastically, live more generously, and serve others more wholeheartedly.
The Difference Between Self-Care & Self-Comfort
I heard Megan and Kelly on the Sorta Awesome show recently discussing the differences between self-care and self-comfort and I thought it was really profound. I think it’s important that we define what this looks like in our own life. It can be easy to confuse the two.
What Self-Care Is: Making our health and well-being a priority. Listening to and attending to what our body and soul needs so that we are able to live our lives with energy and purpose.
What Self-Care Isn’t: Numbing ourselves from reality, using coping mechanisms, or turning to addictive behavior to try to survive life.
To help you understand where I’m coming from with this, let me give you a really practical example. Let’s say your child fell down and skinned their knee and it was bleeding pretty seriously. Yes, you should comfort your child, but you also need to care for your child by getting the bleeding to stop, getting medical attention (if necessary), and bandaging up the wound.
Comfort can be very important, but it’s not enough if our souls are bleeding. We can’t just slap a warm hug or chocolate ice cream and a chick flick on as a bandage labeled “self-care” and think that all will be well.
No, we need to stop the bleeding. And often, that means we first need to determine where the bleeding is actually coming from in the first place.
To me, this is what self-care is. It’s not a temporary fix that might make you feel better in the moment but does nothing for you long-term. Self-care is dealing with root causes, healing from deep wounds, and working on permanent solutions to struggles.
Pay Attention to the Pain; Listen to Your Tears
Until you are willing to admit there is pain, you can’t figure out where it’s coming from or how to fix it. So today, I want you to get really honest with yourself and ask: What’s bleeding? Where does it hurt? Am I trying to cope with life because I’d rather avoid a painful situation? Am I self-medicating in some way in order to mask what I’m really feeling deep down?
That’s how you get to the heart of what’s hurting and discover where the pain points are. These answers might not be obvious at first. They might require some intense soul-searching. They might dredge up things you’d rather stuff down and pretend don’t exist. They might invoke tears or a knot at the pit of your stomach.
Pay attention to the tears. Pay attention to the anxiety rising inside of you. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t run from it.
Instead, when you feel the tears or the anxiety, stop and let yourself stay in it. Ask yourself, “Where is this coming from? What triggered this? Why am I feeling this?”
What Does Your Soul Need?
Remember how yesterday we talked about how taking care of ourselves will look different for different people and I encouraged you to make a list of what energizes you? Today, I want to drill down further and I want you to really ask yourself, “What does my soul need?”
This is a question I’ve really been asking myself the past 6 months as part of my Year of Rest.
I’ve talked about the Year of Rest multiple times on the blog and on social media. So many people have commented with things like, “I’m sure that’s been amazing!” Or, “Are you feeling all rested and refreshed?” Or, “It must be so incredible.”
The truth is: It has been wonderful — but not at all in the way I was expecting. I was expecting a year of rest to be filled with more sleep, more time with my family, more fun, more reading, more time for things I love. And it has been that… and that’s been wonderful.
But what has completely caught me off guard is that it’s also been a year of ugly crying. I’m not a crier, usually. I can be the only one in a group to experience something deeply touching without ever shedding a tear. I’m known to be stoic and non-emotional.
That’s all changed this year, however. I’ve probably cried more tears than I have in all the past 20 years put together.
As I’ve been weaning myself off my addiction to “hustle” and intentionally sought quietness and stillness in my life, I’ve struggled to figure out who I am without all of the noise, the accolades, and the accomplishing.
I’ve realized that the busyness was a bandage I tried to slap on. Instead of addressing deep wounds and aches and longings in my soul; I tried to medicate with productivity.
It felt good in the moment. It numbed the pain. It filled the empty spaces. And as long as I kept up the out-of-breath living, I didn’t have to confront the reality or deal with the broken parts of me I’d rather hide.
I realized that instead of dealing with the pain and hurt and hard situations of life over the past number of years, I’d stuffed them down deep, pretended they didn’t exist, and heaped on more busyness to distract myself.
What Self-Care Looks Like in This Season for Me
As I’ve asked myself, “What does my soul need?” I’ve realized that self-care in this season has been me allowing myself to cry. Allowing myself space to really feel. To acknowledge the pain. To open up with safe friends in safe spaces about how much my heart feels broken by situations in my past.
Self-care has meant letting other people see the under-belly of who I really am. It’s meant welcoming people into the authentic messiness and rawness and not apologizing.
It’s been ugly and real… and oh so healing for me! Allowing myself the space and permission to feel, the permission to acknowledge the pain, and welcoming people in to see that I’m a broken, hot mess some days, has made me so much stronger, happier, and healthier than I’ve been in, well, probably ever.
Self-care has also looked like making weight-lifting a priority, giving myself permission to gain a little weight, becoming more spontaneous, working a whole lot less, experimenting with new things, saying “yes” to what once would have seemed way too crazy for me, sleeping more, and making space for a whole lot more fun in my life. {Read more about all of this here.}
Note: Want to talk more about this with me live? I’d love to have you join me on Periscope (around 8 to 8:15 a.m. CT) and Facebook live (around 8:30 a.m. CT) every morning where we’ll be discussing each day’s topics more in-depth and you can bring your questions, chat with others, and we can share together what we’re learning! (You can watch today’s Facebook Live video here.)
Day 2 Project
- Is there deep pain or past wounds you’ve been trying to stuff down, hide, or run from for a long time? Give yourself permission to acknowledge these, cry about them, grieve your losses, and process the hurt with a safe person. {If you feel comfortable sharing in the comments section here, I welcome that. You are also more than welcome to email me privately if you’d like a safe place to share. I would be honored to listen and pray for you.}
- Ask yourself, “What does my soul need?” Give yourself time and space to really contemplate and ponder that question. If you feel comfortable, tell us in the comments section what self-care looks like for you in this season of life.
Resources to Check Out:
- Listen to this episode of the Sorta Awesome Show that inspired this post.
- Pick up a copy of Finding Spiritual Whitespace and/or The Gifts of Imperfection.
- Want to stop sleep-walking through life? Be sure to grab a copy of my online course, Make Over Your Evenings.
- Read my article on How to Make Time for You Without Feeling Guilty.