Money Saving Mom®

Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.

What I’m Reading

This past week, I finished reading The Broken Way, DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks, and More Than Just Making It.

The Broken Way really, really impacted me in a number of different ways. One of those was in the area of friendships. I wrote this as a result of how the book challenged me:

“We weren’t created to be loners; we were created for community.”

I’ve said this from stages and written it in posts. And yet, for years, I’ve worked incredibly hard to not inconvenience anyone around me, if I can dare help it.

I’ve gone way out of my way to avoid causing someone else to have to go out of their way.

I’ve struggled through many things privately and not shared them with those closest to me lest I add one more thing to their already-full plates.

I’ve put on a brave face and kept it together when I felt like my world was falling apart because the last thing I would want to do would be to be a burden to someone else.

But I’m slowly learning this is the road of loneliness and isolation.

If we want to develop authentic deep relationships, we have to spill out the vulnerable, broken parts of our soul and let other people in to the messy, hurting, raw spaces. And be a safe place for them to do the same.

It requires the willingness to inconvenience and be inconvenienced. It means we let others bear our burdens and we’re willing to bear theirs. It will result in disappointing others and in being disappointed ourselves.

But when we let others get close enough that our brokenness and messiness is on full display, they also get to see the most beautiful, intimate parts of our heart and soul, too.

And let me tell you, getting to experience that depth in relationship is so very worth being inconvenienced and inconveniencing others for.

Right now, I’m reading: A Secret Courage, Fragments That Remain, and Nothing to Prove.

{See my Reading Goals for 2017. Also, see the 45 books I’ve read so far in 2017 here.}

What I Reminded Myself Of This Week

This morning, I woke up before the rest of my family did and I immediately felt haunted by my inner critic.

“You haven’t made cookies with your kids in a long time!”
“You should make reading aloud with your kids more of a priority!”
“Your house isn’t as clean as it should be…”

And on and on it went. Until I said, “STOP! This is ridiculous!”

Sure, maybe I’m not doing what some other moms are doing. Maybe our house isn’t as clean as it could be. Maybe we’ve watched movies together instead of reading aloud the last few weeks. Maybe I’ve not prioritized cookie-baking.

Instead of letting my inner critic make me feel discouraged and defeated over what I’ve not done with my kids recently, I challenged myself to instead stop and celebrate the many, many beautiful moments and talks and adventures and laughs and fun we have had together recently.

And as I did that, I couldn’t believe how many I came up with! It made me smile and sigh a big sigh of relief to realize that while our lives might look different than others and I’m not prioritizing certain things right now, I AM prioritizing other things — like quality time with the kids, fun together, good conversations, and more time just hanging out and being together.

We can always find things to criticize about our life and our choices. And yes, there is always room for improvement. But beating ourselves up never accomplishes anything that ultimately helps anyone.

Let’s fire our inner critic and replace those thoughts with celebrating the good, the beautiful, and the memorable moments that are happening every day in our lives. Because they are there — if we will just stop to notice them!

(Family photo from Gallery By Laura)

We had a fun park date with friends one morning this past week where we explored, walk a trail, tried some geocaching, picnic lunch, and then went and got free Frosty’s at Wendy’s (the Preds scored 4 goals in their game this past week, so Wendy’s gave away Frosty’s in our area — no purchase required!)

And here’s a little peek into my never-dull life…

Some days, you just smile and hold on for dear life.

I was flat in bed sick as a dog on Wednesday. (Do dogs get sicker than humans? Is that why we say that?!? I don’t know. Regardless, I was sick as all get out and couldn’t keep anything down for hours! Yuck.)

We were supposed to leave to fly to Kansas for my brother’s graduation on Thursday morning. Only, I hadn’t moved from the bed for over 24 hours, so I told Jesse he was just going to have to go without me and maybe we could bump my flight to a day later since I was starting to feel human again.

So he showed up at the airport only to discover that the airline had only ticketed us for two of the five tickets we had bought. It actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it meant they were able to bump ALL of our flights to an afternoon flight without charging me for changing my flight.

But it also meant I had 2 1/2 hours to get out of bed, get presentable, get packed, get some must-do business projects done, and get to the airport on Thursday afternoon.

Jesse had taken an Uber to the airport since we now only have one car (that’s a long OTHER story involving carpet beetles & the insurance company!) and he offered to take an Uber back home so that I wouldn’t have to drive to the airport in my recovering-from-sickness state. I was all, “No, you stay put! I’ve got this!”

Of course, I then proceeded to take a wrong turn and get royally stuck in standstill construction traffic. Which meant that I made it through security and to our gate with literally 4 minutes to spare before the doors closed!! That was WAY too close for my comfort!

But I made it in time! And I had Jesse take this picture of me during our layover in Dallas on Thursday afternoon because:

a) I was excited that I wanted to drink tea after having zero appetite for almost two days

b) I love this new shirt & these shoes I got from Zulily

c) I knew I needed to share this story online. (I’m sure all the dozens of people walking by were wondering what this crazy woman was doing posing right outside of gate C11!!)

So there you have it. Another day in my never dull life! 😉

Psst! Something I’ve Been Loving

So, Allison who is the creator of Get Your Pretty On gave me access to her Summer Wardrobe Style Challenge after she saw that I talked about the Style Challenge that was available as part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

You guys, I am 100% surprising myself by how much I am loving this. I thought it was a great idea, but I didn’t think it would work for me since I am picky about styles and colors and didn’t think that having someone else pick out outfits and give me outfit suggestions would really work.

But I’m finding it to be so inspiring — especially when you see the variations of the outfits that women are coming up with in the Facebook Group. I’ll likely be sharing more about this in the coming weeks once I’ve tried it more, but I just had to mention it here as something that I am loving this week.

Also, my outfit in the airport photo above was totally inspired by the style challenge. I think it’s going to help me feel so much more put-together and also challenge me outside of my usual wardrobe comfort zones. I will keep you posted!

{By the way, if you are interested in checking out the Summer Style Challenge, Allison gave me a coupon code for you all! Use coupon code MSM10 to get $10 off!}

The graduation was beautiful… unfortunately, I lost all of my photos that I took on my phone of it except this one that I had saved in a different place plus the one below of the kids. I was so sad as I had gotten some great photos. 🙁

We loved getting to be with family, to see friends from Kansas we’ve not seen in a long time, and to get to go to my brother’s graduation party, too.

What I’ve Been Pondering

This week, we got the call. The call that we’ve been anxiously waiting for for three weeks

We’d been praying about this so much and hoping for a certain answer.

It had looked like some things were lining up in such an amazing way and we were so excited for how this was all going to work out.

And then we got the call… and it was the exact opposite answer of everything we had hoped for.

The miracle we’d prayed for and hoped for didn’t happen.

The door was slammed shut — and I felt like I’d been punched hard in my gut.

What do you do when the thing you’d hoped and prayed for doesn’t happen? When the answer is no? When your hopes are dashed? When the door slams shut?

You can be angry and upset. Or, you can rest that God is working in this and His plan is different — and better! — than what you thought was the best plan.

We prayed for an answer and we got one. We prayed for clear direction and we got it.

So I will trust that the God who created the clouds and the sunsets, the God Who has been so faithful in the past, He is going before us in this.

His best is always THE best, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. And I can trust that someday, I will look back and understand why. For now, I am choosing to rest in His goodness, trust His character, and choose hope!

What I’m Learning

One morning this past week, I was feeling really overwhelmed with this whole parenting job. One child in particular had been mouthing off and acting out and I just felt like nothing I was saying or doing was making an difference.

I texted a friend: “…Wondering if I’m just totally failing as a mom and wondering what on earth I am doing wrong and what do I need to change…”

This friend texted back: “…Both you and Jesse are perfectly made to be {this child’s} Mom and Dad. Let the love that God has given inside of you flow freely. Let {this child} see Jesus in your actions.”

It was such a simple encouragement: stop stressing over what I need to do or not do, what I need to change or not change. Stop beating myself up or fixating on how I may I have failed or worrying about whether this child’s heart is ever going to change.

Instead, camp on the truth that God has perfectly equipped me with everything I need to be the parent of the children He has given me and focus on loving my kids like Jesus loves them.

“Love them like Jesus loves them.” That became my mantra yesterday and it completely changed my attitude and approach.

I pulled this child aside and shared what God has been teaching about how much He loves me. I asked them how they feel loved and how I can make them feel more loved.

We sat and talked and shared our hearts. They shared how they felt hurt and misunderstood in certain situations and they felt like no one really got it. I was able to share situations in my life where I felt the same.

It was beautiful and it gave me a profound window into this child’s heart and soul. I would have missed this had I been fixated on just fixing the issue.

Jesus cares most about our hearts. He doesn’t care that we have all our ducks in a row, that we do all the right things, or that we get it all right.

He loves us in our brokenness. He died for us while we were yet sinners. He still loves us when we fail and make mistakes.

Lord, let me love my kids like You have loved me.

Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.

What I’m Reading

I can’t recommend this book, Hope Heals, highly enough if you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged with life. It’s the beautiful story of learning to live again, in spite of great loss.

Many people had recommended it to me and now I see why. I literally did not put it down once I had started it.

Right now, I’m reading: The Broken Way, DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks, More Than Just Making It (pre-release copy), and A Secret Courage.

{See my Reading Goals for 2017. Also, see the 42 books I’ve read so far in 2017 here.}

What I’m Learning

Some people can go-go-go & function great! And then there are people like me… I can go-go-go for 3-4 days at a time, but then I need at least 1-2 days to recharge.

If I go full blast for more than 4 days without a break, I get irritable, grumpy, and (often) sick.

So, after a really full week with late nights at the Destination Imagination Global Finals in Knoxville last week, I took Sunday and Monday completely off. I went to bed early, slept in, stayed in my comfy pants, didn’t go anywhere, didn’t put on makeup, didn’t do live video, we had super easy meals, and I spent a lot of time just hanging out with my family and reading.

I used to be frustrated that I didn’t have the same capacity that many people do. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the way God has wired me.

It keeps me from overloading my schedule. It reminds me to pace myself and make space in my life to rest and recharge. And it encourages me to intentional in what I say yes to.

Space, breathing room, permission to rest & recharge… it’s a beautiful thing!

What I’m Working On

“What do you do when you feel frustrated, stressed out, and short-tempered?” A reader asked this recently.

Um, the honest answer is that I sometimes (much more often than I would like!) give in to the feelings and snap at people I love. I wish it weren’t the case, but it is.

A better response — the one that I am working on and working toward — is to slow down, step back, and stop and ask, “Why am I feeling this way? Where is this coming from?”

Those two simple questions of why and where can make such a big difference. They allow me to get to the root of the problem instead of just sitting in the leaves of stress.

It might be too much on my plate (and I need to cut myself some slack), it might be that I’m tired (and I need to prioritize sleep), it might be that I’m frustrated about a circumstance outside my control (and I need to give myself some grace), it might be hormones (and I just need to recognize this), or it might be a thousand other reasons.

Whatever it is, when I stop and ask why and where, I’m much more likely to make some headway in calming down than just continuing to ride the stress spiral down.

Other things that help me: stopping to pray and ask God to love through me, taking a Mommy Time Out (even just for 5 minutes!), getting outside (a change of scenery can do wonders!), turning on music (in my earbuds, for a bit, if need be), texting or talking to a friend (and being really vulnerable and honest).

What I Reminded Myself Of This Week

Kathrynne and I flew to Iowa on Thursday for me to speak at the Iowa Homeschool Conference on Friday and Saturday.

I woke up Friday morning feeling unsettled and inadequate. You see, every time I prepare to go on stage, I battle my lifelong insecurities.

Here’s what I wrote that morning:

“Do I really have anything to offer?”

“What if no one comes to my sessions?”

“What if my talks fall flat?”

“Will the conference organizers regret asking me to come speak?”

And on and on those voices in my head can go. Around and around in pointless circles, accomplishing nothing other than making me focus on myself and waste time worrying.

I was reminded of this quote I read from Ann Voskamp. And my heart breathed a big sigh of relief.

I don’t have to stress over trying to be exactly what I think the audience might want me to be. I don’t have to waste time wondering whether I’ll be funny enough, engaging enough, practical enough…

God is just asking me to show up as me. To be fully authentic, fully present, to focus on serving those He brings into my path, to love and give and pour myself out.

And that’s what He’s calling you to do today, too. Show up fully as the beautiful person He has made you to be. Live with your arms open wide. Give yourself away. Love like today might be your last day.

Voices in my head, you can book it. I have a mission to do today and I don’t need you to get in my way!

What I’m So Thankful For This Week

She was born during Jesse’s second year of law school. We were flat broke, we’d only been married for two years, we were 23 and 24 and just finding our way, and most people would say that it was the worst timing ever for having a baby.

Sure, it was hard many days as we were some of the only people in our law school friend group who had a baby. Yes, she was a SUPER fussy baby for the first 6 months and a really poor sleeper for the first 18 months.

But this girl has been one of the greatest blessings we could have ever imagined. She not only helped us grow up really quickly, she gave us some much-needed perspective and joy in the throes of law school life.

And now, at 12, I look at her and am so grateful we didn’t wait to start a family until it was “wise” or we were “financially ready”… because she continues to bring so much joy and life into our lives.

Also, no one tell her that she’s not supposed to think her mom is cool. Because I’ve heard that’s a thing with teens but she has yet to get the memo. In fact, she told me the other day, “I love it when you hang out with my friends. It’s like you’re one of us. And they all think you are cool!”

Moms of littles: I know that life probably feels overwhelming, exhausting, and stressful right now. You might wonder if you should have waited to have kids until the timing was better.

I just want to encourage you: focus on the blessings, keep loving and nurturing and teaching your little kiddos, and some day soon, you’ll wake up with a 12 year old who is not only really amazing and a huge help to you, but who you also absolutely love hanging out with!

Kathrynne and I had so much fun on the speaking trip to Iowa. (If you follow me on Insta Stories, you already got to see lots of behind-the-scenes videos already of my trip! I love getting to share real-time peeks into our life there!)

It was Kathrynne’s first time to visit Iowa and I hadn’t been there in a long time, so I had forgotten how beautiful it was. Plus, we loved that it reminded us a lot of our home state of Kansas!

I spoke three times and gave one keynote session and two breakout sessions. I spoke on: Raising Kingdom-Minded Kids, Saying Goodbye to Survival Mode, and Unleashing Your Best You.

The attendees were so incredibly warm and receptive and kind. I hadn’t spoken at a homeschool conference in almost two years and I haven’t spoken much at all in the last year, so I wasn’t sure how it would feel to be back on the “speaking circuit” again.

I realized that speaking is kind of like riding a bike for me… once you’ve practiced it enough, you just get back up there and do it again. But I did forget how tiring it was! I love to stay and talk to every last person and really get to hear your stories and do what I can to encourage each person. But once it’s over with, I always feel like I’ve given every last drop and then I’m ready to crash into bed!

We did make time for a little fun — including attempting to play corn hole. With a big emphasis on the word attempt, for me. You can see video proof here. 😉

Another highlight of the conference: I got to briefly see my friend, Abigail. I haven’t seen her since my wedding 14 years ago!!!

What I’m Pondering

One day recently, one of my kids was disrespectful toward me. I told them that if that happened again, I would have to take away a certain big privilege.

Unfortunately, the next morning, they were disrespectful again. I calmly reminded them of what I had said the night before and told them they had lost the certain big privilege.

They were devastated. And it broke my heart to have to take something away that was so near and dear to them.

It was an opportunity for me to lean in close and let this child know how much I loved them and how sad I was that they wouldn’t get that certain big privilege.

The rest of that day, they had such a softened, changed heart and we had a wonderful day together.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to give that certain big privilege back to the child. This is not usually at all how I would roll, but I couldn’t shake this idea. I talked to Jesse, I thought about it, I prayed about it, and felt like it was the right thing.

So I went back to the child and told them that I was going to give them back that certain big privilege again. They looked at me dumbfounded: “But I don’t deserve it, Mom!”

“I know you don’t,” I quietly responded, “But I woke up this morning and felt like that’s what God wanted me to do. I think He wants you to know how much He loves you.”

My child’s face was still overcome with shock, still reeling from how they didn’t deserve this… and then they said to me, “That’s GRACE.”

My throat felt tight and my eyes welled with tears. GRACE. Sometimes we forget just how much grace God has heaped upon us. But in that moment, with my child, both of us got a very tangible reminder of just how much we are loved.