Money Saving Mom®

For the past little while, we’d been hoping to make it back to Kansas for a visit. We’d looked at options and just weren’t coming up with something that would work. Ticket prices for flights were really high and driving 14ish hours there and back again wasn’t going to work into our schedules and allow us enough time for a few at least days to visit, too.

We kept looking and hoping we’d figure something out. Well then, a few weeks ago, I was looking into flight prices for a conference trip and discovered that the flight prices had been knocked in half for that trip. I quickly booked that flight and then decided to go check on flights to Kansas again.

I could hardly believe it when I realized that flight prices were almost half of the lowest price we usually ever see!! We found dates that would work and went ahead and bought the tickets and got excited for our trip.

I thought I had gotten smart to choose an 8:25 a.m. flight. That way, we wouldn’t have to get up at 4:30 a.m. to get out the door and to the airport for a 6 a.m. flight like it seems we usually have to.

Well, my bright idea turned out to be not quite so bright. We usually try to get to the airport a little over an hour to an hour and a half before our flight leaves. We had planned to leave our house at 6:30 a.m. to put us at the airport at around 7:00 a.m.

The morning didn’t go as planned and it took us quite a bit longer to get out the door. I thought we’d still be okay, though, because I figured that Nashville traffic wouldn’t start getting bad until around 7:30 a.m. I assumed we were still early enough to completely bypass all of that and make it to the airport with a little time to spare.

Unfortunately, we learned the hard way that Nashville traffic starts getting crazy much earlier than we thought. We ended up getting stuck in traffic within a few minutes into our drive, which added more time to our trip and then meant we were running later and got stuck in more traffic.

By around 7:30 a.m., we realized we were probably not going to make our flight. Traffic on the highway was crawling and we still had 10 minutes left in our trip — without traffic. We figured that the soonest we’d be to the airport would be 8 a.m. and our flight left at 8:25 a.m.!!

We had a 2+ hour layover in Dallas, so we called the airline and asked if there was any way we could get bumped to a later flight and still make it on our Dallas flight. They said absolutely and started getting that set up.

We breathed a sigh of relief. This was all going to work out! Yay!

And, um, then the customer service rep came back on the phone and said it would $1,000+ per ticket for us to change to the later flight. $5,000 to change our tickets to the later flight?!? What?!?!?

Jesse politely asked the reason and they said, “I’m so sorry, but because you got such a low, low price on your tickets, it means that you would have to pay a lot more to change the flights.”

Whoops. I guess there are good things and bad things to getting great airline ticket prices! 🙂

We decided to just do our best to hope for a miracle and try to make our flights. We pulled up to the airport at 8:01 a.m. — 24 minutes before our plane was supposed to take off!

We still had to drop the car off, print our tickets (we hadn’t been able to get them to print online), get 5 people through security, and make it to gate. I told the kids we were going to be ninjas and ninjas we were… and it also helped that there was no waiting at security!

Somehow, by some miracle, we all made it to our gate with two minutes to spare before they closed the door to the plane! I was dripping sweat and panting, but we made it.

I think that is one for the books… and I may have sprouted a few new white hairs yesterday, too. Also, I’m pretty sure we were quite the sight as we basically just scooped everything up that came off the security belt, hung on tight, and ran as fast as we could to our gate. 🙂

The moral of the story: if you’re going to buy cheap airline tickets, make sure that you actually plan enough time to get to the airport. And also? Don’t make assumptions about Nashville traffic.

Lesson learned. 🙂

I’m a person who loves order, structure, and sameness. I’ll wear the same outfits over and over again. Keep my house decorated the same way for years. Fix the same things for dinner repeatedly. Go to the same restaurants and order the same things.

I find comfort in having a plan and knowing what to expect. As much as I can, I avoid unknowns.

Moving from Kansas to Tennessee in May brought a lot of newness and unknowns into the life of a girl who craves sameness. Then, there were quite a few extra doses of new business, speaking, and media opportunities thrown into the mix. And this was all topped with a completely new way of doing family life.

What did this result in? An unsettled feeling.

For a few months, it felt like life didn’t have any ruts or familiar grooves. Instead, every footstep was like treading on brand-new soil.

There wasn’t a clear plan. There wasn’t organized structure. And there was a whole lot of new.

New people.

New church.

New house.

New kid’s activities.

New roads.

New stores.

A new life to navigate.

In the middle of reeling from all of this newness, I went to a get-together with new friends. As I sat there amongst this group and heard the friendly chatter around me, I suddenly realized how out of place I felt. Almost as if I was in a foreign land.

Everyone seemed to have memories forged together, roads traveled together, and life lived together. Everyone, that is, but me.

I tried to smile and engage in conversations and ask questions, but it felt like I was the odd one out. The only one who hadn’t been apart of all of these adventures and stories they were laughing and joking and teasing each other about.

My heart felt torn. I was so grateful that they’d been kind to invite me. But I also wanted to run away… back to where it was safe and known and comfortable.

We said our goodbyes, I got into my car, and cried all the way home.

The next morning, I got up early and sat on the couch trying to will myself to dive into the day’s to-do’s and responsibilities. I felt tired and lonely and just plain done with all the newness.

Jesse came downstairs and while he made his morning coffee, all my thoughts started jumbling out all over the place. (God knew what He was doing when He gave me a man who is so willing to listen to all my verbal processing!)

“I just want to go back to Kansas… where I don’t have to use the GPS to get to ALDI, where I don’t have to spend most of my social gatherings trying to remember whose name is who, and where I have memories of life lived with people.”

My husband graciously listened to all of this. Then he reminded me of why we’d made this move. It wasn’t for comfort and safety and sameness and familiarity.

Those things can be good, but they can also be stifling. And, in our case, we needed to jump out in faith. To forge new paths. To step outside our comfort zone. To be stretched.

The process would be hard and messy. We knew that. But the results would be worth it. We’d already seen fruit in our lives from unearthing new soil and how this was giving us fresh growth and inspiration.

He encouraged me to grieve what I’d lost and left behind. To acknowledge that it was hard. To talk about it with him and a few other good friends. But to not stay there and sulk.

Instead, he challenged me to embrace the unknown, welcome the new, and revel in the unexpected. This wouldn’t always be easy, but it would certainly make the journey much more enjoyable.

We continued to have conversations like this over the next few weeks. It took time. It took tears. It took prayers. It took safe people around me listening to me and letting me be honest with them about my struggles.

In the end, it has made such a difference for me these last two months. I’m finding that I’m feeling a lot less unsettled. I’m actually enjoying many of the new experiences. And I becoming much more spontaneous — which has completely surprised everyone who knows me well! 🙂

I love what Michael Hyatt says, “The most interesting things in life happen just outside your comfort zone.” It’s hard to step into the unknown. It’s often not fun to experience big changes. It’s usually difficult to face unfamiliar territory and new situations.

But if we embrace and welcome these changes, and newness, and unfamiliarity instead of just wishing we could play it safe and comfortable, a lot of unexpected joy and blessings can result.

For instance, in our situation, some of those blessings have been meeting new friends who are fast becoming very dear friends, opportunities for sports activities and advancement that our children didn’t have before, getting to see my husband thrive and find fulfillment in brand-new roles, and discovering that I actually can kind of enjoy being spontaneous.

Sometimes, changing your attitude can change your whole outlook on life!

Can I just be really honest with you tonight? You know what one of the hardest parts about blogging has been for me?

It’s that some readers want me to be perfect.

I know they’d probably never say out loud, “I expect you to be perfect,” but if I admit that I failed at something or am struggling with something, they are disappointed and they voice that disappointment.

Here’s the thing: I understand that part of blogging in a public forum is the fact that I’m choosing to let people into my life. I’m choosing to open up myself and our family and our choices to other people’s really honest opinions.

I get that. And I own that.

But at the same time, in the past, it’s held me back from sharing candidly about certain topics that I’d really like to blog about. Why? Because I know that writing about certain topics means other people are going to voice their opinions over my decisions and or be disappointed in my short-comings.

More and more, though, I’m becoming okay with it. Because I realize that it’s exhausting to try to please everyone.

I don’t have it altogether.

I sometimes yell at my kids.

I get frustrated with my husband.

I don’t always want to make meals from scratch.

I sometimes (usually?) let my laundry pile up way too high.

I’m often running late.

I have many moments where I feel so very inadequate to be sharing anything in a blog post or a book or on a stage because I feel like I’m such a mess myself.

A few days ago, I wrote a post about quitting my cutting back on caffeine goal for this month. I know it was the right decision and most of you cheered me on in it or even expressed relief that I gave up my lofty goal.

A few people weren’t so thrilled with me. They wrote in annoyed that commentors would be supportive of me and a some even strongly chided me for not following through with my goal.

I’m sure these readers meant well, but in each case, they didn’t know me or my family personally. In addition, they didn’t know that the next few weeks are some of the fullest weeks I’ll probably have all year long (we have multiple trips + some big projects to complete) and I can’t be dragging or running on weird sleep patterns. I have to do what’s best for my family and myself and I have follow my own advice to give myself grace — even if it means that I disappoint a few readers.

What I’m learning, though, is that when I share my short-comings and struggles, I may disappoint a few people. But ultimately, I will encourage many, many more people.

It helps others know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. We’re in this together.

We’re learning right along with each other. We’re stumbling. We’re falling down. We’re making mistakes. And we’re here to encourage each other to get back up, keep pressing forward, keep doing the best you can do with the time and resources we have.

And here’s the truth: I’d rather disappoint a few people and be a completely honest and authentic blogger who shares my struggles and success than try to pretend like I have it altogether and make the majority of people feel like they can’t measure up.

None of us have it altogether. None of us are perfect. But we can all learn from each other, inspire each other, and cheer each other on — in both our struggles and successes.

When we are honest and authentic with each other, we are all stronger for it. Who’s with me? 🙂