Money Saving Mom®

Yesterday, I read this beautiful post on Why We Should Stop Living a Safe Life. And I so agree.

But here’s the thing: stepping outside your comfort zone and taking risks isn’t usually glamorous business.

I think we sometimes idealize and fantasize what risk-taking will be like.

We picture wild adventures. Thrilling exploits. Amazing feats. While that is often some of what happens, there’s usually a whole lot of awkward and hard work in between.

Lisa-Jo and I experienced that last week. We had such a great trip, but I can guarantee you that every minute was not filled with incredible mountain-top experiences.

In fact, in between all the wonderful things, there was also a fair share of sweat, dirt, vomit, and tears involved. I’m learning that’s part of the whole stepping-outside-your-comfort-zone gig.

One very wise piece of advice Lisa-Jo gave me before we embarked on the trip was this, “It’s going to feel awkward at times. That’s okay. In fact, that’s more than okay. That’s normal.”

There were a lot of awkward moments on the trip last week…

There were many times (especially at first) when I couldn’t understand someone’s accent. After asking them to repeat themselves three times and you still didn’t understand, it was hard to know what to do or say.

There were multiple times when I replied with the completely wrong thing because I thought they were talking about something entirely different. (South Africans and Americans both speak English, but the words and phrases often mean different things.)

There were times when all the kids and adults were dancing their hearts out singing a song that I didn’t know the words or hand motions to. Not to mention the fact that I’m not really the dancing type of person! 🙂

There were times when I could tell that the person I was talking to didn’t have any idea what I was saying because they couldn’t understand my accent or American phrases.

There were times when I would start speaking in English to someone only to realize they didn’t understand English (most South Africans speak English, but there are a small minority of those who don’t).

There were times when I was given food to eat that was very different than anything I was used to.

There were times when it seemed everyone else knew what was going on and I didn’t have a clue.

There were times when a child would do or say something that broke your heart so much you could barely hold in the tears.

Yes, there was a lot of awkwardness mixed in with the trip. There were many times when I didn’t know what to do, say, or be.

But if I had chosen to avoid those awkward moments, I would have missed out on so many awesome moments. Moments that were goose-bump-inducing and incredibly amazing.

And so I encourage you: stop playing it safe. Step out. Step up. Jump out. Take risks.

It will be awkward, tiring, exhausting, and monotonous at times. But don’t let that hold you back.

Embrace the awkward and you’ll get to experience the awesome.

Good morning!

I have to tell you, that jet lag thing is quite the beast! I’ve slept almost 25 of the last 36 hours! And I finally feel like my usual rested and energetic self again.

Gratefully, I only really experienced jet lag after coming home — not so much when I was actually in South Africa. Thanks to your prayers and the grace of God, I had so much energy and stamina while there, despite the 8-hour time difference, the very full days, and the short nights.

But after a full day in South Africa on Monday, then getting on a plane on Monday evening for an 18-hour flight to DC, then meeting my family in DC and having another 12-hour drive home, I was exhausted and finished (as they say in South Africa) by the time I got home.

In fact, when we pulled up in our driveway, I could barely keep my eyes open enough to make it to my bed. However, I have to tell you, the thought that consumed me as I was trying to keep my eyes open enough to make it upstairs to our bedroom was this, “We have such a nice house. It feels too big, too new, and too clean.”

Here’s the funny thing: ever since we moved to TN, I’ve missed our house in Kansas. It was bigger, roomier, laid out better, and newer. This TN house — while it has wonderful features like an amazing kitchen — has had a lot of issues.

We’ve had a major earwig infestation that’s the result of a big drainage issue in our backward. We’ve had more spiders and bugs than I ever saw in Kansas. We’ve had many problems with leaks and plumbing. We have very, very limited hot water (which means we often take cold or lukewarm showers). We’ve had A/C and heating problems.

We sorely miss our big and roomy basement we had in Kansas. We miss the ample storage our other house had. We miss the beautiful backyard we had. And we miss the two extra bedrooms we had in Kansas.

In the midst of all of these things we’ve dealt with this TN house, I’ve chosen to focus on the blessings and what we do have (which is so, so much!), so I’ve not allowed myself to be discouraged or beaten down about it. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t many moments when I’ve missed what we used to have, wished I could enjoy a hot shower, or wistfully longed for an extra bedroom.

But when I walked into our house on Tuesday evening, I saw it with brand-new eyes. I almost felt a sense of embarrassment over how nice it is. I also found myself realizing how much many of us take for granted.

Most of us don’t know what it’s like to go hungry for days on end.

Most of us don’t know what it’s like to not have more than one food option.

Most of us don’t know what it’s like to have to walk everywhere we need to go.

Most of us were raised with at least one parent in our lives.

Most of us have more than one outfit, food in our fridge, a roof over our heads, clean laundry, shoes with soles, running water…

We complain about the internet being slow or down. We fuss over the fact that we can’t afford a bigger house. We grumble that we can’t buy more organic foods in our grocery budget. We wish we didn’t have to shop at thrift stores. We envy others who have an SUV or mini-van while we’re trying to fit three car seats in the back of our very used car.

I’m not saying this to lay a guilt-trip. I get that many of you have hard, hard burdens you’re bearing. I get we have other struggles here in the states that they might not have in other countries.

But I want to encourage you to go throughout your day today with fresh perspective. Instead of seeing what you don’t have or wishing for something you want to have, focus on what you already have.

If you are washing dishes, be grateful for running water, soap, and pots and pans to wash.

If you are driving to work, be grateful for a vehicle to drive, money to buy gas, and the ability to have a job.

If you are cleaning your toilets, be grateful for indoor plumbing.

If you are folding laundry, be grateful for the ability to wash your clothes & for outfits for your family.

If you are cooking dinner, be grateful for access to food and money to buy food to feed your family.

We have so much more than we often realize. We have much to be grateful for. Don’t miss out on the many, many blessings around you because you’re so focused on wanting something you don’t have. Start noticing those blessings and you’ll begin to realize just how rich your life really is.

P.S. You must read Lisa-Jo’s post on how you all helped make a major difference in the Maubane community. It’s pretty much a goose-bump-inducing post!

After 6 days of being on the other side of the world and 18 hours on a plane, being reunited with my family was one of the most beautiful things yesterday morning! We drove straight from the airport in DC to our home in TN and got home last night.

I brought home a sunburn and a weary body, but it was every bit worth it for the amazing and life-impacting lessons learned, memories made, experiences shared, and incredible people we met.

And while my body may no longer be in beautiful South Africa, I left part of my heart there. The people, the scenery, the history, the climate, the food, the warmth… I fell in love with all of it.

There aren’t words to describe just how much this trip impacted me, just how much I saw God show up on my behalf, and just how hard it was for me to leave. There were so many needs. So many children who were desperate for love and words of encouragement. So much poverty and hunger.

We are excited for what we’re planning and dreaming for the future and how we’re going to come alongside some of these neediest communities to bring hope and practical help. There are great needs, but there are also great opportunities to help bring lasting change to these communities. We can’t wait to share more about that in the weeks and months to come!

Getting to spend the week with Lisa-Jo in her home country of South Africa was a gift I’ll never forget. Her heart, her passion, her graciousness, her laughter, her authenticity, her encouragement… it blessed my soul at a deep level.

I’m humbly grateful that God connected us five years ago through this crazy blogging thing we’ve been called to do. My life will never be the same because of knowing Lisa-Jo.

We are so very grateful to each one of you who prayed for us. We saw God answer your prayers in very direct ways — from allowing us to have energy and strength even with little sleep and jet lag, to our families back home doing so well, to the clear direction and leading we felt for how God wants us to be involved in South Africa in the future as we met with the local leaders there… we felt such calmness, such joy, and such peace the whole trip. And we know it was because of your many prayers on our behalf.

I have many more stories and pictures to share in the coming days. Right now, though, I’m going to try to head back to bed to get some more sleep. (I’ve been up since 2:30 a.m. thanks to jet lag!)

Y’all. My heart feels like it just might burst right in two. I have fallen madly in love with South Africa.

So many people asked me why I was going on this trip. Part of me knew why: so Lisa-Jo and I could meet with some of the local leaders here and see the work that Take Action Ministries is doing in partnership with Help One Now.

For many months, we’ve been talking and dreaming and praying and planning about how we can come alongside and help in a long-term capacity. I wanted to go and see first before we started any long-term commitment. It was important for me to get to know the people behind the ministry, to get to see the work in person, and to really have a better grasp of the needs in South Africa.

So that was one part of why I said yes to this trip.

But there was another part of me that felt like there were more reasons why I was going on this trip. That God had bigger plans and purposes — that He wanted to do something through this trip that couldn’t be accomplished by me just sending money from afar or reading about a ministry or even seeing pictures or Skyping with those involved in the ministry.

I knew I was supposed to step outside my safe Americanized bubble and go.

And if today was the only day we had on this whole trip, it was every bit worth me coming.

It was worth the time spent preparing.

It was worth a long drive to DC with my family and getting in at 3:30 a.m. in the morning only to discover there had been some miscommunication and our hotel was completely booked (and it was quite the adventure to find another hotel with an open room at 3:30 a.m.!)

It was worth leaving my family in DC and braving an 18-hour flight.

It was worth working through the what ifs.

It was worth every one of those things and so much more.

You see, because today I saw one of the beautiful examples of hope I’ve ever witnessed. Hope in the middle of what many would consider a hopeless situation. Hope where many would have long ago given up.

And not just hope, but joy, and life, and amazing impact.

But before I tell you about that hope, I want to first back up and contrast it with telling you about a woman we met with this morning who lacked hope.

We pulled up to her two-room shack this morning and you could immediately tell that she was tired, exhausted, worn out, and feeling completely overwhelmed with life. She lives in the shack with 3 other adults and 9 children. She spends her days taking care of her two young children and her neighbor’s children, as well as her nieces and nephews.

We tried to encourage her. We brought fruit for the children. We asked about her needs. But the whole time, her eyes just had this glazed over look. From what she told us, she’s been living like this for a long time and she doesn’t see a way out.

She’s lost any drive or motivation she once had. And she’s just barely making it through each day.

Her facial expressions and tone of voice just exuded lifelessness and hopelessness. Take Action Ministries has been checking in on her and doing what they can to help her. They’ve encouraged her to do what she can to take some baby steps toward progress in her life. But she’s lost her drive and motivation.

As I watched her, my heart hurt for her. This is the only life she knows. She’s probably never had any good examples or models in her life. But at the same time, if she doesn’t want to take tiny steps to climb out of the hole she’s in, she’s never going to make any progress.

Take Action is going to continue encouraging her and making sure her children have food to eat and clothes to wear and they also want to do all they can to encourage her children to break free from this vicious cycle of hopelessness.

When we left her house, we had many discussions about what we could do to spark even a drop of hope in the lives of women like this. There are so many women who feel just like this mom does and it’s an epidemic that’s sweeping so many countries — including America.

For the next few hours, as we had meetings with the amazing folks from the Take Action Team. We talked more about the pressing needs, the greatest struggles, and how we can partner with them in the most effective manner.

(Side note: We’ve bonded so quickly with the Take Action Team — Annelien, Wanda, Jonna, Peter, Darrin, and Morne — that we feel like we’ve known them for years. These are truly some of the most selfless, warm, gracious, and giving people I’ve ever. They’ve opened their homes and hearts to us and we are already dreading having to say goodbye to them in a few days!)

All the while, my brain was in fast-forward strategy and analyst mode thinking of how we can actually spark hope for these women who are struggling with so much hopelessness. The need is staggering and there are no quick fixes or pat answers.

As I was contemplating this, we drove up to our next destination, the Reagoboka Drop-in Centre and Early Childhood Development Centre, and sparks of hope came hitting at us from all directions. Elizabeth, the beaming leader of these centers came running out to greet us.

She was excitedly laughing and exclaiming over and over again about all of the wonderful things happening in their centers. She was the epitome of hope.

But here’s the thing: in many people’s eyes, she shouldn’t have hope. In fact, she should be exhausted, overwhelmed, and discouraged. She’s worked incredibly hard, managed what little she has well, and has poured out herself for her community.

In the process, she’s hit roadblock after roadblock after roadblock. Lisa-Jo shared more of her story tonight and you must go read it right now.

Because Elizabeth has chosen to persevere in spite of the odds, because she’s chosen to make the most of the little she has, because she’s chosen to do all she can to make an impact in her community, literally hundreds of children have been fed, cared for, loved on, and invested in over these past years she’s been running the home.

And we got to meet these children and we were blown away by the joy in their faces, the spark in their eyes, and zest they all have for life.

We played with the children, held the little ones, met the incredible team of Care Givers, asked lots of questions, saw their tiny facilities and how they are making the most of them for the 100+ children they currently help, and ate lunch with them.

My lunch today: a traditional South African lunch — samp (a kind of maize porridge) Morogo (spinach), and Mealies (corn).

The children were all smiles and hugs and the Care Givers were laughing and playing with the kids and exclaiming to us how much they loved working with the children and helping the community. All around, we saw hope bursting forth. I was contagious and inspiring.

And it was all because one woman chose to not be overwhelmed by her limited circumstances, but to do what she could, with what she had.

She has not only inspired and impacted countless families in this community, but her life will forever impact mine.

The Care Givers — don’t these look like such a fun group? They were so full of life and energy!

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A big thank you to Anthony Churchyard for donating his time and skills to capture hundreds of pictures and videos for us today! There will be many more stories and pictures to come in the weeks and months ahead! I have dozens of blog posts percolating in my brain right now. 🙂