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50 Shades of Frustration
Those of you who know me well know that I am a person of strong passion and conviction. I am fiercely loyal, intensely focused, and highly opinionated.
If you’re a newer reader here, you’ve probably not seen this side of me as much as those who know me well have seen it. I’ve learned, from numerous mistakes, that there are many things that are better left unsaid online.
We have a very diverse group of readers here and I don’t feel like my calling is to stir up debate and controversy. Instead, I want to encourage, inspire, and challenge you to live lives of intention and purpose.
So most of my strong words and passionate beliefs are reserved for conversations with those I know best. However, every once in awhile, I just cannot hold back… and today is one of those days.
I hadn’t planned to blog about the whole 50 Shades debate. It’s long been swirling and, with the movie releasing this week, it’s escalating to epic proportions. While I believe that some debate and intense conversations can be healthy and helpful, much of the debate has seemed to be polarizing and divisive. In my (yup, strong!) opinion, conversations that only serve to create an “us” versus “them” mindset don’t foster anything worthwhile.
As a result, I’ve skipped over blog posts and Facebook posts on the subject and kept silent on the topic. We don’t need any more division in our ranks than it seems we already have.
But after this morning, I can keep silent no longer.
You see, Silas (my 5-year-old) had finished most of his Daily List and was getting ready to watch a YouTube LeapFrog video on my phone. I’d picked one out for him, clicked on it, and then was sitting next to him fixing one of the girl’s hair while he started to watch it.
As soon as it began playing, I knew something was seriously wrong. He flipped the phone over face down and acted very surprised. I could tell that the sounds coming from the phone weren’t LeapFrog sounds at all.
I quickly took the phone away to see what it was and was AGHAST to realize that it was a 50 Shades of Grey commercial playing!!! Yes, it was playing before a kid’s educational movie clip on YouTube. For real!
To say I was upset and frustrated was an understatement. So was my husband.
I know that YouTube is not completely safe no matter how many controls we put on it. I get that. And that’s why we’re careful to keep close tabs on what our kids are watching when they do watch YouTube clips.
But seriously? Surely YouTube could at least have the decency to ban commercials for R-rated movies from kid’s channels!!
It was a stark reminder to me that no matter how careful I am as a parent, my children are going to be exposed to things that I wish they wouldn’t be exposed to. I cannot completely bubble wrap their lives from things I feel are objectionable and unhealthy for them to be filling their minds with.
What Can We Do?
As I thought about this more over the course of the day, I realized that while it’s our job as parents to nurture our children, protect their little minds, and instill good values in them, there are ways we can take this a step further.
Instead of just being on the defensive and reacting to the bad attitudes, poor examples, and objectionable things they are exposed to, let’s become offensive and start being proactive about raising our children to be upstanding adults of strong character.
Here are 4 ways we can be on the offensive in our home:
1. We Can Provide Wholesome Role Models for Our Children
It has been well said that you become like the three people you’re closest to.
In the books we read to our kids, the media we watch as a family, the friends our children spend the most time with, and the teachers and coaches they have, we are seeking to have our children regularly rub shoulders with many wise mentors and models.
2. We Can Surround Our Children With Beauty & Purity
We want our kids to appreciate beauty and purity on a deep level, so we are encouraging them to read and listen to good books, develop a love of hymns and classical music, try their hand at drawing and painting, study historical men and women of character, and love the beauty of nature.
3. We Can Fight For Our Marriage
A strong marriage takes enormous amounts of work, but it’s so worth fighting for. We’ve committed to do our best to prioritize our marriage over our kids, spend intentional time each week investing our marriage, constantly look for things to praise and express gratitude for in each other, and work hard to have honest communication between the two of us.*
4. We Can Teach Our Children to Be Critical Thinkers
We don’t want our children to blindly follow our beliefs or the beliefs of others. From the time they were little, we have asked them deep, open-ended questions on a variety of subjects (we let them answer and then we often follow up with, “Why do you believe that?”), encouraged them to question what they hear and make sure it’s valid, and to never accept anything at face value.
How are you promoting beauty, wholesomeness, and a strong marriage in your home?
Note: This is a sensitive topic and one that could be highly controversial. By writing this post, I am not seeking to open a Pandora’s box of debate on whether or not you should read or watch 50 Shades. Because of this, comments of that nature will be deleted. Instead, I’d love to hear you chime on what you’re doing to promote beauty, wholesomeness, and a strong marriage in your own life and in the lives of your children.
*Update: Please note that section on marriage in this post was written for couples who are in healthy relationships where both parties love each other and want to work on issues together and personally. If your spouse is abusive, please, please, please don’t hide the abuse out of fear or let your spouse convince you it’s your fault. Get help immediately.
The day we’ve been anticipating for months is finally here…!
The day we’ve anticipated for months is finally here!
After coming home from my trip to South Africa, I’ve hinted around for the past few weeks that we were cooking up something really exciting to give you an opportunity to join us in making a difference in the poorest communities there.
After months of emails, Skype calls, and a few in-person meetings, we are ready to launch and we are all so very excited!
Drumroll…
Starting today, we are opening the doors for the first ever #TenDollarTribe — and we’d LOVE for you to join us in this.
What is the #TenDollarTribe?
The #TenDollarTribe is a group of people — moms, dads, singles, grandparents, families — who are all committed to making a difference in two very needy communities in South Africa: the Maubane community and the Reagoboka community.
I have visited both of these communities, spent time talking with the leaders, met the children they are ministering to, seen how great the need is, and witnessed just how far money can go in these very poor areas of South Africa.
Why $10 Per Month?
We talked about a number of different options and we really felt like we wanted to provide an amount that was doable for many, many families.
I knew that something like $40 per month was not in many of your budgets, but that the majority of you could find a way to tighten your budget in a few categories in order to free up $10 per month to give to this much-needed cause.
In addition, because money goes so much further in South Africa, $10 per month can make a big difference.
What Can $10 Per Month Do?
The short answer is: a lot. In fact, I was shocked at how much of a difference small amounts of money can make in South Africa.
For instance, $10 will buy 100 bowls of porridge for school children, a month’s worth of school supplies, or two weeks of cooking fuel for a local family.
I know that you all are like me: you want to give your money to causes that will use it well. I can say with utmost confidence that your money will be stretched as far as possible to make as big of an impact as possible.
Lisa-Jo and I are working in partnership with Help One Now and Pure Charity for this initiative with the on-the-ground team, Take Action Ministry. Both Help One Now and Pure Charity have been incredibly generous in helping us out. We could never logistically do this on our own as there are so many moving parts involved and we are so grateful for their support and help.
Our Family is Personally Very Invested in This Project
I hesitated to share this, because we do the majority of our giving anonymously. However, I wanted you to know that our family is committed to putting our money where our mouth is.
When I went to South Africa, it was primarily to personally investigate the projects and leaders there to make sure I felt 100% comfortable asking you all to join us in this. But our family had a secondary reason, too, and that was to look for a way that our family could personally partner with Take Action Ministries.
I discovered that they had very little money coming in for their organizational expenses (storage/office building rental, computer equipment, office supplies, etc.) and that almost everyone involved was volunteering their time or only getting paid a very small amount. As I talked with them more, I realized that this was a huge stress for them as every single month they were just barely, barely eeking by.
Because of the financial choices we’ve made throughout the years to live on less than we make, develop strong income streams, and stay out of debt, and because God has blessed our businesses far beyond what we could have ever dreamed or imagined, we are in a place where we could take on these monthly expenses for them so that they wouldn’t have to constantly be looking for grants or dealing with the stress that comes from trying to survive on a tiny, tiny budget.
I share this only because I want you to know that our family is very invested in this project and we believe wholeheartedly in the work and ministry Take Action is doing in South Africa. I would not ask you to join us in this had I not vetted it very thoroughly and felt I could put a huge rubber stamp of approval on it.
Will You Prayerfully Consider Joining the #TenDollarTribe?
There are many fantastic causes to give money to and I completely understand that not everyone is called to give to South Africa nor in a place to make a monthly commitment like this, but I want to urge each of you to not click away from this post without taking a few minutes to consider whether this is a project you could find the funds to support and the desire to be involved in.
If dozens of us are willing to take a step and make this commitment, it will impact the lives of hundreds of children for years to come. Will you join us?
>>Click here to sign up to be a member of the #TenDollarTribe.<<
If you join, will you do me a favor and either email me or leave a comment on this post? I’d like to personally thank you.
Can’t Give Money But Still Want to Help Out?
For those of you who are not in a place to join the #TenDollarTribe, but you’d like to help out in some way, can I ask you to pray that God would bless these community centers, provide for their needs, and help them to have wisdom as they seek to make lasting change in these communities?
Also, would you consider sharing this post via Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest? Thank you so much!
A Day in My Life: Daily Lists, Lord of the Rings, purse clean-out, and the allergy appointment that wasn’t!
As a family, we’ve been collectively working on going to bed early and getting up early. When we follow our plan, it’s always amazing the difference it makes! Today was such a good Monday and I think a big part of that was because we went to bed early, got a great night’s sleep, and all got up early.
I think it’s also helping a LOT that I’ve been following through with my #Choose30 Challenge to get up and exercise, shower, get dressed, and read my Bible before doing anything else. No more wearing my PJ’s at 10 a.m. in the morning!
When I get dressed in something that makes me feel great, it always helps me have an extra spring in my step and more focus and productivity.
If you’ve been feeling like you don’t have any energy and are just spending your day running around in circles, I encourage you to try getting up a little earlier, exercising and getting dressed, and making a simple plan for your day. Sometimes, something as simple as a few tweaks like that can make a world of difference!
Meet Lillian. Kaitlynn spent a lot of time with her today and made her a collar and leash. 🙂
This is totally my kind of pet — no messes to clean up and no allergies to worry about (Silas and I are both really allergic to just about every animal. As a result, much to my kids’ sadness, stuffed animals have to suffice for our family in the pet department!)
After getting up early, exercising, showering, getting dressed, and reading my Bible, I spent some knocking out some blog projects, answering emails and comments, and scheduling some blog posts and social media posts.
(Photo courtesy of Silas — he wanted me to show you all his list so he took 20 pictures for me to post!)
Then I got the kids up to eat breakfast and work on their morning chores. We are still loving the Daily Lists idea… and now that they’ve gotten into more of the routine of doing these, the kids get so much done, the house is staying so much cleaner, and everyone is happier all around. I highly recommend this idea!
Kathrynne started reading The Lord of the Rings a few days ago and she is lapping up the first book. I wasn’t sure if it would be above her reading level, but she keeps telling me how interesting, exciting, and engaging it is.
I’m finding her with her head stuck in the book almost every extra minute she has… and I couldn’t be happier to raising such a voracious reader!
After morning chores and breakfast were done, we sat down for Morning Time. We’re loving The Cricket in Times Square so far. It’s a fun and light read, but I think we’re all going to want to visit NYC after reading it!
Jesse got home near the end of Morning Time (he had been at the gym, running a few errands, and in a business meeting) and brought me a Starbucks coffee — Pike Place coffee with lots of cream, just as I like it! I love that man!
Kaitlynn was afraid Lillian might run away, so she made sure she stayed put during Morning Time. 😉
After Morning Time, I gave instructions to the kids to start working on their independent work and I gathered up my bag, coffee, and made a sack lunch before heading out for another string of allergy tests at the allergist.
Right about then, Kathrynne came to me worried and reminded me that I’d taken my meds last night and wasn’t I supposed to be off of them for the week before I did the allergy patch testing?? I completely forgot that the doctor had told me at my appointment last week. Whoops! Thankfully my kids are more on-the-ball and paying better attention than me! 🙂
So I called the allergist and they were so gracious to let me reschedule. Oh well, I wasn’t really looking forward to wearing patches all over my back for the next two days anyway… especially since I wasn’t going to be able to shower until they took them off on Wednesday!
So instead of heading out the door, I hung out with Jesse for about 20 minutes and we talked about life and did some business brainstorming. And then I took 15 minutes to clean out my purse.
I was thrilled to realize that my purse wasn’t at all as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve been trying to make a habit of always thoroughly cleaning it out when I return from a trip and it seems this habit is helping quite a bit.
I dumped everything out of my purse and here’s what was in there. I happy that there was so little trash and very few things that weren’t supposed to be in my purse!
I also cleaned out Purse Emergency Bag. This little bag is filled with everything that I often find myself needing or wanting — lip gloss, tissues, essential oils, tampons, breath mints, Advil, hand sanitizer, lotion, and so on.
I use something from it almost every single time I go somewhere and love that when someone says, “Does anyone happen to have ____?” I often do, thanks to my Emergency Bag.
After my purse was cleaned out, I left Jesse with some instructions for the kids, told everyone goodbye, and headed out to work at our shared office space for the afternoon. I spent this afternoon getting caught up on email, working on projects, scheduling social media posts, and writing some blog posts.
And now I’m headed home for dinner, to work with Kathrynne on getting caught up on the laundry (she’s been doing most of the laundry, but I help her out when it gets a little behind like it often does over the weekend), and to hopefully do some knitting while Jesse reads aloud to us (he’s recently started reading aloud to us in the evenings and we all love it and so does he!)
How was YOUR day? Did you get any cleaning done? Tell us about it in the comments!
Shared Feb 9, 2015
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10 Goals For This Week (+ I’m *loving* this new season of life!)
10 Goals For This Week (+ I’m *loving* this new season of life!)
One of my big goals for 2015 is to be more home focused. We made some significant changes in December to make this desire of mine become a reality. And I’m almost 6 weeks into 2015 and I just can’t even begin to express how thrilled I am at the difference these changes have made!
The last two years have been r-e-a-l-l-y stretching for me on so many different levels. And I don’t regret the decisions we prayerfully made for me to be on the road or as involved in as many projects as I was. I grew so much and God was so faithful, even in those times when it felt that it was physically and emotionally possible to do everything we felt He was clearly calling me and our family to.
But in December, I really felt that the season was coming to an end and I feel so settled about it. I’ll still be traveling and speaking some, developing a few new products, and working on a few big projects, but we’re really streamlining this year and being incredibly picky about which opportunities I’m saying “yes” to.
We only set a few business goals (as opposed to our long list of goals last year!), and we’re also bringing on some new team members (God has brought some of the most amazing and perfectly-suited people my way in January and I’m so grateful!)
All this to say, I’m loving this new season of life and soaking it up. And I’m also loving that there is much more margin in most of my days, we’re spending so much time together as a family (often just hanging out and being together!), and that I’m doing a much better job of getting my goals crossed off.
I’m so content at such a deep level. And I’m so grateful.
It feels like such a gift to have this season of reprieve and I’m humbly grateful that, after years of Jesse and I working so hard, we’re finally at a place where we can both work a lot less and carve out the lifestyle that we feel like God has called us to and the rhythm of life where each of us will best thrive.
Last week’s goals:
Marriage/Mothering/Homemaking Goals
1. Continue on with our Morning Time routine. Read aloud for at least 20 minutes every day.
2. Write a love note to Jesse.
3. Have a family movie night.
4. Work with the kids to help them learn their new chores (we just added a few new chores to each of our kids’ daily lists and Silas, especially, is needing a little extra help learning how to do the chores.)Personal Goals
5. Exercise at least 4 times.
6. Finish at least two books.
7. Knit a Cosy Posy Ear Warmer. (I’m hoping to finally get this started this week!)
8. Try two new Trim Healthy Mama recipes: Raw Cookie Dough and Peanut Butter Pancakes.Business Goals
9. Get back with bloggers interested in the ePantry opportunity.
10. Tweak my presentations and slides for the Friday night Say Goodbye to Survival Mode event in Mississippi.
This week’s goals:
Marriage/Mothering/Homemaking Goals
1. Continue on with our Morning Time routine. Read aloud for at least 20 minutes every day.
2. Write a love note to Jesse.
3. Have a date with Jesse.
4. Write a note of encouragement to one person.
Personal Goals
5. Exercise at least 4 times.
6. Finish at least two books.
7. Knit a Cosy Posy Ear Warmer. (I’m hoping to finally get this started this week!)
8. Try two new recipes: Trim Healthy Mama Waffles and Hot Fudge Pie.
Business Goals
9. Shoot a short video for a project I’m working on.
10. Finish up edits on the script/handbook on my soon-to-be-released course. (More details coming soon! I’m SO excited about this and how it’s coming together thanks to a great team who is putting so much heart and effort into it!)
How did you do on last week’s goals? What are your goals for this week? I’d love to have you share your progress on last week’s goals and your goals for this coming week in the comments. Of, if you’ve blogged about it, leave your direct link below. Let’s cheer each other on to live purposeful and productive lives! You can download a free customizable weekly goal-planning sheet here.
Shared Feb 9, 2015
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Jamerrill’s First Crock Pot Freezer Cooking Session (Trim Healthy Mama recipes!)
Jamerrill’s First Crock Pot Freezer Cooking Session (Trim Healthy Mama recipes!)
Thinking of trying your hand at making some crock pot freezer meals?
Check out Jamerrill’s thorough post with the recipes she made, how it went down, plus some things she learned from her first crock pot freezer cooking experience.
My Monday Morning Plan + Today’s Cleaning Project
It’s Monday and guess what that means? That means it’s time for our weekly deep-cleaning project! Every Monday morning this year, I’ll be assigning us all a deep-cleaning project to tackle (well, that is, if want to join us!)
Today’s project is to go through your purse/handbag/diaper bag. Clean it out, toss at the trash, re-organize it, and add anything to it that you’ve been meaning to or that you’re always wishing you had when you are out and about.
Here’s my plan for this morning:
Exercise, shower.Bible reading/journaling.Morning blogging time.- Get kids up — morning chores/breakfast.
- Morning Time with the kids.
- Get kids started on their independent work.
- Clean out my purse.
- Ready to go — coffee made/lunch made — head to allergy appointment and then to work at our office space.
{Thanks to the #Choose30 Challenge, I already have some “big rocks” done for today!}
This evening, I’ll share a post about how my morning well and give you an update (with pictures) on how my purse-cleaning project went.
Need some motivation? Check out my post on 10 Ways to Make Cleaning More Fun.
Want to join me? Leave a comment to let us know you’re participating! If you have time, tell us what your morning plan is, too.
A Peek Into Our Week: Book edits are DONE!, a simple change that’s made a big difference in our homeschooling, a trip to Mississippi, and my #Choose30 challenge update
It was a full but good week this past week.
I finished my book edits and turned them into my editor on Monday… and what sweet relief that was! I didn’t realize how much they’d been hanging over my head until I turned them in and she approved them later in the week.
These were the substantive edits — which means that this was the hardest edit. The next rounds of editing will be more for grammar/typos, etc. Those kinds of edits are much easier to go through than this round where I needed to completely redo a few of the sections!
We’ve been loving the new addition of Morning Time to our homeschooling. You can head over here to see a video I posted of our Morning Time on Tuesday. And you can read a little more about Morning Time here.
On Wednesday, we had our usual morning routine and then I ended up having back-to-back meetings all afternoon and then Jesse, Brian (one of my business managers), and I met with a potential new hire that evening at our house. So it made for a long day, but it was productive and worth it.
I spent Thursday afternoon getting ready for our first Say Goodbye to Survival Mode event on Friday while the girls had a play date at a friend’s house. I decided to completely revamped one of my talks for it — which is always a time-consuming, but rewarding task.
Earlier in the week, I had felt like I had zero creative ideas for this presentation. I knew what I wanted to communicate, I just couldn’t figure out how to effectively communicate it. So I’m so grateful that it all came together on Wednesday and Thursday and it will definitely be a talk I’ll be tweaking and re-sharing again and again.
I left on Friday morning to fly to Mississippi for the event. We were thrilled that over 140 people showed up for our first ever Say Goodbye to Survival Mode event — especially because the church that hosted it was in the tiny town of Purvis, MS!
{There are a number of other churches and groups very interested in hosting a similar event in other areas of the country, so stayed tuned for more details on where our next event will be held. I’d love to get to meet you there!}
The women in Purvis were amazing! So warm, friendly, gracious, and welcoming. I was incredible blessed and encouraged to be there. Thank you, all, for having me!
While I was gone, Jesse took the kids to Movie Night at our church on Friday night. They were supposed to wear PJ’s and had all sorts of fun kid-friendly things and yummy snacks. The kids had fun at the photo booth, as you can tell. 🙂
Jesse surprised me by cleaning out the garage, taking a bunch of stuff to Goodwill and completely reorganizing it today. The garage had been the one part of our house that had been neglected pretty much ever since we moved in here. It felt amazing to come home to a spic-and-span garage!
I arrived home late this afternoon and we spent the rest of the day just hanging out, catching up on the events of the past day, and having a Family Movie Night tonight. And now we’re looking forward to a restful Sunday to refresh and recharge for the coming week.
My #Choose30 Challenge Update
I told you earlier this week that my #Choose30 Goal was to get up and exercise, shower, get dressed, and read my Bible first thing every morning. For those of you who have to get up really early to leave for work, this might seem like an easy-peasy thing to do. But for me, since I work on my own time schedule and don’t have to clock in at a certain time and can dress however I want to, committing to get up, exercise/shower/dress/read my Bible first thing takes some effort and discipline.
I’m happy to report that, so far, I’ve been really committed to this goal this week. I’ve slipped up a tiny little bit and gotten a little distracted here and there, but only for a few minutes and then I’ve gotten back on task.
And I’ve noticed a big difference in making this change. Not only do I seem to get more done every day, but I feel better about myself and feel more energetic since I’m starting the day off with exercise, making myself look presentable, and quiet time to read and pray. Yay!
How was YOUR week this past week? Anything interesting or eventful happen?
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Gretchen’s $64 Grocery Shopping Trip and Weekly Menu Plan
Aldi
We were out of town all last week and I had used up most everything in our refrigerator before we left so this week I had a LOT of items to buy!
2 pkg Strawberries – $1.29 each
1 pkg Cauliflower – $1.69
1 pkg Celery – $1.29
1 pkg Asparagus – $1.49
1 pkg Green Peppers – $1.49
1 pkg (3 lbs) Navel Oranges – $1.68
1 pkg (5 lbs) Potatoes – $0.99 (I was so excited about this price!)
1 dozen Large Eggs – $1.49
1 pkg Carrots – $1.49
1 pkg Baby Carrots – $0.99
1 pkg Trail Mix – $1.99 (My 3 year old son is growing like a weed and is constantly hungry. I saw this and thought it would be a great snack for him on those days we are out and about.)
1 pkg Ocean Spray Craisins – $1.29
1 pkg Spinach – $1.79
1 pkg Rice Cakes – $1.29
1 pkg Frozen Peas – $0.89
1 frozen Orange Juice – $1.19
1 pkg Mozzarella Cheese – $1.79
1 Mild Salsa – $1.69
1 Grape Jelly – $1.45
1 Natural Peanut Butter – $1.69
Total with tax ($2.16): $32.40
Dillons
1 Green Leaf Lettuce – $0.99
2 pkg Tyson Frozen Chicken Breast – $5.57 each (This was NOT on my list to get this week, but when I saw it was on sale for my target price, I ended up buying 2 bags and going over my grocery budget this week. I will spend less next week to even out this month’s grocery budget and will save money in the long run. 🙂 )
2 half gallons Dillons Milk – $1 each
0.32 lbs Broccoli Crowns – $0.60
1.64 lbs Bananas – $0.97
1 South Beach Diet Bars – $6.99, used Free e-coupon (no longer available) – Free after coupon
1 Chobani Greek Yogurt – $1.25, used Free e-coupon (no longer available) – Free after coupon
2 Kroger Shredded Cheese – $1.99 each (These were advertised as $1.67, so I was disappointed they did not ring up correctly.)
2 Cantaloupe – $0.99 each
Total with tax ($1.61): $24.07
Homeland
1.11 lbs Tomatoes – $1.43
2 Cucumbers – $0.69 each
1 Farmland Sausage – $1.25, used $0.55/1 printable (doubled) (no longer available) – $0.15 after coupon
1 Hiland Cottage Cheese – $1.94, used $0.50/1 printable (doubled) – $0.94 after coupon
1 Motts Applesauce – $2.89, used $1/1 printable (doubled) – $0.89 after coupon
2 Kellogg’s Pop Tarts – $1.29 each, used $1/2 printable (doubled) – $0.29 each after coupon
2 Wishbone Salad Dressing – $1.69 each, used $1/2 coupon from the 1/11 SmartSource insert – $0.69 each after coupon
Total with tax ($0.69): $7.95
Total for all grocery items: $64.42
Menu Plan for This Week
Breakfasts
Cereal x 3, Scrambled Eggs & Juice, Oatmeal, Cranberry Almond Scones & Fruit (We are having a playdate at our house this week and I will be serving this.)
Lunches
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches/Veggies, Turkey Meat/Cheese/Fruit/Crackers, Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches/Carrots x 2, Leftovers, Vegetable/Banana Smoothies x 5 (I will be eating this for lunch every day.)
Dinners
Hawaiian Haystacks (Brown Rice, Chicken, Gravy, Canned Pineapple, Coconut, Cheese)
Venison Stew, Steamed Asparagus, Leftover Scones
Hamburgers & Fish (A church friend kindly gave us a bag full of fish he had caught, cleaned and frozen for us!), Tossed Salad, Homemade French Fries
German Pancakes, Eggs, Sausage, Cantaloupe
Venison Roast, Potatoes, Carrots, 30 Minute Rolls, Steamed Asparagus
Homemade Cheese Pizza, Tossed Salad
Dinner with family
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Why We Rent: Unexpected Lessons About Home Ownership
Guest post from Kaly Sullivan
It was 2004 and the housing market was hot. Everyone around us was buying. People were making money buying a home and selling it a few years later. The prices kept going up and up. You couldn’t lose. We jumped on the bandwagon and decided to buy before the prices went any higher.
Couple that with the path our parents and grandparents had paved for us. You get a degree, you get a job with a pension, you get married, buy a house, build equity, have kids, trade up into a bigger house, and retire.
Following that blue print, my husband and I removed ourselves from the urban center we had come to love, and traded in our car-less life for a red shingled house with a two-car garage.
We bought on a five-year ARM because that is what everyone was doing. We bought a small fixer upper with potential because you’re supposed to buy the smallest house in a nice neighborhood (for resale value). We started the process of turning it into a home.
The list of tasks that we undertook is now unimaginable.
Over the next nine years we spent thousands of hours and dollars upgrading systems, putting in new features, shopping for the perfect item to complete a room. Our evenings and weekends were filled with tasks, Home Depot shopping lists, and annual attempts to grow lush grass.
Meanwhile our children were born, and we adapted to life as suburban home owners.
Don’t get me wrong. I loved that house. I loved every creak and every brick in the patio we had installed. But it’s quite possible that the little red house is the only house that we will ever own.
My husband took a job in a different city, and we made the decision to relocate. We sold our house fairly easily (we did not make any money, but we did break even).
Because we were unfamiliar our new area, we thought renting would be a good way to get the lay of the land and settle in before buying a new home.
Now that we are well into the second year of our lease, I’m not convinced that I ever want to own a home again. Although it isn’t always as easy as “Call your landlord and they fix it,” we have thoroughly enjoyed this time off from home ownership.
I can’t imagine walking into Home Depot anymore than I can imagine landing on the moon because as renters we have more…
1. Time:
Weekends are used for adventures, naps, downtime, and new experiences not upkeep and chores.
2. Money:
Our rent is more expensive than our previous mortgage but the money we save in home maintenance and purchases has us saving money every month. And we have zero debt!
3. Brain space:
We don’t worry about systems, resale value, and lists of repairs so we have more room in our heads to pursue our true interests.
My husband feels a little differently about the rent vs. own situation. He worries that as renters were not part of our community because we haven’t put our money where our mouth is and invested in a more substantial way. That maybe if we’re not buying, we’re transients that aren’t going to stick around and are not worth getting to know.
I see his point. People ask me, “Are you going to stick around? Have you started looking at houses?” I still challenge my husband to think about it differently.
If you ask yourself, “What am I going to do with my one life?” Does owning a home make the list? Your top ten?
If you think, “What legacy do we want to leave in this world?” Is the answer, “I was a good homeowner” part of your response?
Since we’ve been renting, we’ve put less of our resources into our home. We’ve used our time and money to start a company, travel more, and explore our new city. We spend more time together as a family and our overall stress level has decreased.
As a family, we will continue to consider what home ownership can offer us. But we are definitely looking at our options through a more critical lens and will not be buying just to buy this time.
In the meantime, we’ll keep renting. And enjoying every second of it and the freedom it brings.
When Kaly doesn’t have her nose in a book, she wrangles and referees two elementary age boys and blogs about her often humorous efforts to lead a mindful, connected life. She’s the co-founder of Harlow Park Media and is the author of Good Move: Strategy and Advice for Your Family’s Relocation.
Shared Feb 6, 2015
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Silas and his self-imposed “budget” (AKA: Yes, your children are watching you!)
Silas and his self-imposed “budget” (AKA: Yes, your children are watching you!)
We were at Cracker Barrel last week to celebrate Kathrynne’s 10th birthday. (I still cannot believe I have a daughter who is 10 years old. How did that happen?? I still feel like I’m 17!)
After we ate dinner as a family, we went out to the store to window shop for a bit. (My kids think Cracker Barrel is just about on the same level as the LEGO store! They love that place and I don’t blame them; they have such fun kid’s toys and games!)
I noticed Silas was on a mission in the toy section. He kept picking one toy up, looking at the price, and then putting it back. As he did this over and over again, I started following him around to try to determine what he was doing!
It was then that he picked a toy up and triumphantly exclaimed, “Yes!! This is in my budget!”
I about burst out laughing right there in the store. First, because I hadn’t heard him use the word “budget” before. And secondly, because it sounded so grown up and funny to be coming from the mouth of a 5-year-old.
But I held my laughter in and instead asked him more about this budget of his. He explained to me that he has $30 at home in his piggy bank — money he’s collected from doing chores, birthday gifts, etc. — and he decided that he had a $10 budget to spend on something from Cracker Barrel. He didn’t want to spend all of his money, so he’d set the $10 budget to make sure he didn’t spend all his money.
He said he hadn’t brought his money this time, so he was just looking to see what he could buy in his budget. Next time, he’d bring his money and buy the $10 or less toy.
As he recounted all of this to me, you can imagine how much I was grinning from ear to ear. I love that he’s learning money management skills from a young age.
But more than that, I was reminded of how much our kids are watching and learning. We’ve talked about basic money management with Silas (spending and saving, etc.), but we’ve never actually gone over what a budget is or why you should have one. So Silas has picked up the idea of budgeting from watching us and hearing things we’ve told to Kathrynne and Kaitlynn.
It also reminded me of how important it is that I set a good example before my kids. Because it’s not just the words I’m saying that they are paying attention to; the life I’m living before them is what they are paying the most attention to.
This one simple change is saving us $75 on every electric bill
This is a great tip! Head on over to read Early Bird Mom’s post on one simple change they made that is saving them around $75 on every electric bill.
Brigette’s $58 Grocery Shopping Trip and Weekly Menu Plan
I usually enjoy grocery shopping (I know, I’m weird like that), but this week ended up being a less than ideal experience. Every store was completely out of the “best” deals (you know – the ones you go into the store excited to buy), and apparently “cold” weather puts everyone in a shopping mood, because the lines were ridiculously long. My preplanned list mostly went out the window and I just ended up doing the best I could, adjusting my weekly menu plan as needed. Some weeks in life are just like that, though! 🙂
Aldi
1 3-ct package Romaine Hearts – $1.99
2 2-lb packages Carrots ($1.19 each) – $2.38
2 dozen Eggs ($1.19 each) – $2.38
1 bag Ceasar Salad Mix, reduced – $0.15
1 1-lb box Butter Quarters – $2.99
1 2-lb bag Lemons – $2.29
1 1-lb carton Strawberries – $1.49
16-oz bag frozen Peas – $0.89
1 head Cabbage – $1.29
1 3-lb bag Golden Delicious Apples (so disappointed they were out of the advertised Fuji Apples!) – $2.99
1 3-lb bag Gala Apples – $2.99
1 bunch Bananas (2.53lbs @ $0.44/lb) – $1.11, plus receive $0.25 back from Checkout 51 – $0.86 after rebate
1 12-oz bottle Hot Sauce – $0.85
2 16-oz cartons Eggs Whites ($1.99 each) – $3.98
1 gallon Milk – $3.29
Total after Rebate: $30.72
Target
5 8-ct packages Pencils ($0.50 each) – $2.50, used $1.50/5 School Supplies printable – $1.00/5 after coupon
4 boxes Barilla Veggie Pasta ($1.16 each) – $4.64, used 2 $1/2 Barilla Proteinplus, Whole Grain, Veggie, White Fiber or Gluten Free Pasta, exp. 3/31/15 (RP 01/04/15) – $2.64/4 after coupon
2 bags Hormel Pepperoni ($2.84 each) – $5.68, used $1/2 Hormel Pepperoni Product, exp. 3/2/15 (SS 01/04/15 #2), plus $1/2 Target printable (NLA) – $3.68/2 after coupon
4 jars Ragu Pizza Sauce ($1.15 each) – $4.60, used 2 $0.75/2 Ragu Product, exp. 2/22/15 (RP 01/25/15 #2 R) – $3.10/4 after coupon
Received $5 Target Gift Card for buying 10 Select Items
Total after Tax, Coupons and Gift Card – $5.49
Harris Teeter
2 12-oz bags Eight O’clock Coffee (B1G1) – $6.25, used 2 $1.50/1 printable, plus receive back $1.50 from Ibotta – $1.75/2 after coupons and rebate
3 Lara Bars – $3.00, used $0.75/3 printable (doubled), plus receive $0.75 back from SavingStar – $0.75/3 after coupon and rebate
3 boxes Hamburger Helper – $3.00, used $0.75/3 printable (doubled), plus receive $1.00 back from SavingStar – $0.50/3 after coupon and rebate
2 18-oz jars KC Masterpiece BBQ Sauce (B1G1) – $2.39, used 2 $0.50/1 printable (doubled) – $0.39/2 after coupons
1 LA Looks Hair Gel – $1.50, used $0.75/1 printable (doubled) – FREE after coupon
1 Colgate Toothpaste – $1.00 (used raincheck), used $0.50/1 Colgate Toothpaste, exp. 2/14/15 (SS 02/01/15) (doubled) – FREE after coupon
1 Frozen Orange Juice concentrate (already made up into juice in the picture :)) – $1.67
2 12-oz packages Frozen Broccoli – $2.00
10 8-oz bags assorted Shredded Cheese (B2G3) – $13.00
2 packages Butterball Turkey Bacon – $5.00, used 2 $0.75/1 printable (doubled) – $2.00/2 after coupons
4 packages Gwaltney Hot Dogs -$3.88, used 2 $0.75/2 printable (doubled) – $0.88/4 after coupons (After trying many more expensive brands of hot dogs, my husband and children have declared these their “favorite.” I refuse to eat them, but my husband will buy them if I don’t – so I was happy to find a sale/coupon. These will go into our freezer in anticipation of warmer weather and cookouts over our fire pit!)
Total after Sales, Coupons, Rebates, and Tax – $22.78
Weekly Total: $58.99
Weekly Menu Plan
Breakfasts
Oatmeal and Fruit (using frozen fruit from the freezer stirred in) x 3
Scrambled Eggs/Veggie Omelettes and Toast x 2
Cereal x 2
Lunches
Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches, Carrot Sticks, Chips x 2
Build-Your-Own-Salad (Fresh Veggies, Tuna, Hard Boiled Eggs, Craisins, Sunflower Seeds, etc.) x 2
Fried Egg Sandwiches, Bananas, Carrot Sticks
Leftovers x 2
Dinners
Homemade Chili and Cornbread, Carrot Sticks
Date Night Out (Super excited about this! We haven’t had a date in…almost forever it seems. We got several gift cards to restaurants for Christmas, and will finally get to use one of those.)
Chili and Cheese over Baked Potatoes (using leftover chili), Homemade Applesauce
Homemade Pepperoni Pizza, Tossed Salad
Baked Chicken Nuggets, Steamed Peas, Baked French Fries, Apples
Egg Roll in a Bowl, Brown Rice, Green Beans
Leftovers
Snacks
Popcorn, Apples with Peanut Butter, Chewy No-Bake Granola Bars
How to Save Money by Taking Pictures at Home
Liz emailed the following tip:
As a new mama, I worked outside of the home and had a very nice income, so I took my daughter to a professional photographer for all her first year pictures without blinking an eye.
Once I started to stay at home and we added three more kiddos to our family, professional pictures were no longer the rule, but a very rare exception.
Although, we couldn’t afford professional pictures of our kids all of the time, I still wanted to have some sweet, quality pictures to hang on the wall. So, I began to experiment and research great ways to get high-quality photos of my kids, without breaking the bank.
Here few tips for taking great pictures in the comfort of your own home:
- Set your baby up a few feet off of the ground. This puts your child at an easier level for you to photograph. I always have someone there to help in case the babe begins to roll or squirm — safety first!
- Grab some cute blankets, quilts, fabrics, or even a simple sheet. In this shot, I had a vintage quilt that was a family heirloom, a black and white striped blanket, and a fuzzy, white bathrobe that I used for the base prop. It is always good to use texture below the baby if you are doing a naked-baby shoot. If your babe was clothed with color and pattern, go with a simple, solid base blanket.
- Gather a few simple baby props. I used a baby bonnet in this photo shoot. I have used hats, headbands, wraps, and even kept a bare head before. Again, the key is to not have too much texture, but to also have enough to add interest.
- Make sure you have good lighting. In this example, we are in our nursery next to the window. This ensures that I don’t have to use the flash and my camera can gather enough light to make the picture crisp and clear.
I hope you enjoyed these tips and found inspiration to take your own photos at home! Once you take the leap, you’ll never go back (or at least not very often!)