Money Saving Mom®

Tuesday was one of those days.

You know the kind… where it feels like you wake up behind, you feel frustrated, there are countless interruptions, and the more the day goes on, the worse it gets.

By the grace of God, I didn’t fly off the handle at anyone, but I certainly felt like it could happen at any moment. I was anxious, unsettled, and just plain irritable.

The house was messy, the kids were needy, I got some discouraging feedback on a project I’d put a lot of effort into, and I never made it out of my PJ’s.

Late afternoon, I had a conference call with my managers about a contract we’re negotiating. Since they are like family, when they started the conversation asking me how I was, they got the honest answer.

“Well, I’ve not showered today. I’m still in my pajamas. And I basically feel like I’m failing at everything in life… I’m a failure as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, and as a businesswoman.”

Overly dramatic and almost entirely unfounded, I know, but that’s just how I was feeling that day.

I want to be honest in my relationships instead of sucking in my feelings and pretending everything’s okay. Plus, confiding in true friends and letting them pray for you and encourage you can often be the best remedy when you’re having a tough day.

After we got off the phone call, instead of wasting more time and making my day even worse by beating myself up over having a bad day, I decided to assess what went wrong so I could help prevent the rest of the week from going downhill, too.

As I analyzed my day, I realized there were six key things that were major contributing factors to my bad day. And I thought I’d list them as a reminder to me (and anyone else) for the future.

So here are six ways to guarantee you’ll have a bad day:

1) Don’t Get Enough Sleep the Night Before

I stayed up way too late the night before… and it wasn’t because I was working on some world-changing project. Nope, I was mindlessly browsing the internet. I know, sooo noble and worth losing precious sleep over.

2) Don’t Have a Plan for the Day

I woke up late and tired. Without a plan. And just let life hit me as it came.

Eventually, I got around to writing out a to-do list for the day. But by that time, I was so behind it was just more discouraging than it was helpful.

3) Don’t Shower or Dressed

Yup. It’s true. I was still in my PJ’s at 5 p.m. and I finally just gave up hope of changing out of them.

So I felt gross and messy and unkempt all day… which totally makes you feel cheerful and excited about life. Or not.

4) Don’t Stay Focused

Some interruptions came my way and I let them suck way too much time and energy from me. Instead of waiting to answer that non-urgent email and phone call until I had a time block to deal with it, I let the inbox and phone control my morning — which is always a recipe for my day getting out of whack.

And it was a recipe for complete chaos and frustration when my day was already off to such a poor start.

5) Don’t Count Your Blessings

I spent too much time fretting over a negative comment someone made and let that frustrate and irritate me until I couldn’t see any of the blessings of my day. Which then, in turn, only made the day seem clouded over with more frustration.

6) Do Beat Yourself Up for All the Ways You’re Failing

This final point is KEY for having a bad day. Take a lot of time to mull over everything single last thing you’re doing wrong and every area of your life that needs improvement. It will seal the deal for you and your bad day.

So there you have it! Six guaranteed ways to have a bad day. Did I miss any points? If so, let us know in the comments.

And do yourself and your family a favor: don’t try this six-step plan at home.

Friday night, I was asked to be the keynote speaker at the FlameFest Ball (an event for wives whose husbands are firefighters). I was excited about this event — and especially excited to get to speak at a ball!

I was looking forward to my presentation and had fun getting dressed up for the event (I wore a dress I got from RueLaLa, shoes I got from Zulily, and jewelry Jesse bought for me for 70% off at Kohl’s — gotta love frugal fashion!). I walked down the hall from my hotel room to the ballroom feeling very confident and stoked.

And then I stepped foot into the ballroom.

As I saw all the couples dressed in their finest, my former confidence disintegrated.

What do I have to offer these incredible folks? All around me were strong and muscular men who willingly risk their lives fighting fires. Next to their sides were equally strong women who endure long days and lonely nights while their firefighter husbands are on duty.

I looked at the strength and courage represented in the room and felt very small. Who was I to be standing on stage delivering a message of hope to them?

After all, I’m the girl who just confessed I have a nail-biting habit and struggle with anxiety. What do I really know about courage?

But then I remembered: sometimes, courage is just showing up.

I’d been asked to share a message on saying goodbye to survival mode. The conference coordinator knew exactly who I was and what I was about.

She knew I didn’t have a long resume or heroic acts of bravery attached to my name. I’m just a regular mom who hit rock bottom in her own life and found a lifeline of hope and practical steps to take to no longer live life stuck in that pit of survival mode, but to instead live a life of passion and purpose.

And so, I had a choice in that moment: I could choose to be swallowed up by fear and self-doubt. Or I could choose to go up on that stage and give it my all, praying that the words I shared would be impactful to those in the audience.

As I was getting mic’d up, I whispered to Liz (who travels with me), “I feel so out of my league, but I’m going to go up and give it my all.”

And that’s exactly what I did. I left all those feelings of fear and insecurity behind, asked God to fill me up with courage, and then I went up on that stage and owned it.

When I came down off the stage, I knew that it may not have been the most eloquent talk ever, but I’d given it my all. And it felt so empowering.

Sometimes, courage is just showing up and giving it your all.

Wherever you are in life, whatever you are facing, can I encourage you to show up and give it your all? To not let fear, insecurity, and self-doubt own you but instead for you to own whatever “stage” you are called to stand on right now?

Maybe your “stage” is investing in your kids and marriage, or reaching out to the needy in your community, or writing a blog post, or loving a difficult person, or serving at your church, or being the best employee you can be, or studying for your summer classes… or a million other things. But whatever it is, show up and give it your all.

There will always be those voices (literal or imagined) that will whisper in your ear, “That’s not good enough.” Or, “So-and-so does a better job than you.” Or, “You’re not qualified.” And on and on it goes.

Stop listening to the voices and show up and give it your all.

Related: Three Truths That Pulled Me Out of a Pit of Insecurity