Money Saving Mom®

As many of you already know, this past week was a whirlwind of unexpected, frightening news for me and my family. A routine doctor’s visit turned my life upside down, and it left me sort of reeling. (You can read the details in this blog post, if you’d like more of the backstory.)

Through this experience over the past week, I have a newfound appreciation and empathy for those of you who are enduring major life struggles each and every day. I know that what I went through last week pales in comparison to some of the situations you find yourselves in, but in these moments I felt emotions I have never felt before.

I did not have the emotional or physical strength to do much of anything. I had no appetite. I couldn’t bring myself to really blog and had no desire to get online and tackle tasks I needed to — which is very out of character for me because I love this community here!

As I reflected on all of this, I thought about lessons I’m learning in the middle of this and I wanted to share them in hopes that they might encourage someone else who is going through a rough season. Maybe you have a difficult child, financial struggles, a broken relationship, medical issues, marriage problems, or you just feel plain stuck in life right now.

If you’re struggling today, here are 3 things that helped me last week:

1. Choose Joy.

Focus on your problems and you’ll feel discouraged. Focus on your blessings and you’ll feel encouraged. We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can always choose our response to those circumstances.

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or if the news we receive will change the course of our lives. We do know that we have today to embrace life and live as vibrantly and fully as we possibly can.

Choose to live fully today. Because today is all you’re guaranteed. Dwell in the present, and embrace the beauty surrounding you.

When I experienced my surprise medical issues, I had four blogging friends staying with me. I felt, at first, like it was the worst timing possible. I realized very quickly, though, that God had brought them to me at the perfect moment. Having them surround me with love, prayers, support, and encouragement was exactly what I needed and exactly when I needed it.

And I realized how much I had to be thankful for: not only my friends surrounding me, but also for my husband, my children, having 33 years of life — and a very healthy life, at that!

There is always, always something to be grateful for. Sometimes we have to really look for it, but when we do, we’ll find it — and probably a lot more than just one thing!

2. Reach Out for Help.

I’m a very driven, Type-A, do it all by myself kind of person. Allowing people to help me can be very difficult sometimes, but I’m beginning to really learn the beauty in reaching out and letting people pour into you and help you through times when you’re struggling.

We were made for community. Sometimes it feels easier to keep our feelings and hurts and struggles locked away inside, but sharing vulnerably with others gives us an opportunity to open up and have authentic relationships.

If you don’t feel like you have someone to reach out to, think about the people around you who seem like they are caring people, even if you don’t know them extremely well. I encourage you to reach out — today.

If you cannot think of anyone to reach out to, I’d love for you to reach out to me. You can e-mail me, tweet me, or leave a comment on this post. I do not want you to feel alone, and I would love to pray for you and give you a virtual hug.

I’m sure others here at the MoneySavingMom.com community would love to do the same for you. I want this to be a community where we are here to help, inspire, bless, and encourage one another.

3. Do the Next Small Thing.

I will never forget hearing Elisabeth Elliot’s story after her husband, Jim Elliot, was brutally murdered by the people group they were trying to serve and love. After an elaborate plan to minister to this people group ended in radio silence, Elisabeth Elliot said she had a choice in that heartbreaking moment — a choice to keep moving. She chose to do the next small thing, which was changing her daughter’s diaper.

For me this past week, when I wanted to feel overwhelmed with emotions, I challenged myself to just get up and do the next thing — loving on my family and being a host to my friends.

When you do the next thing, even if it seems so small, it will give you courage to keep taking the next small step. It usually feels so much easier to sit, wallow, and be discouraged. But if we just get up and do the next thing — whatever that might be — we will be able to start moving forward and not feel so stuck.

For those of you going through a seemingly hopeless time, I wanted to recommend two books to encourage you. Being the minimalist that I am, you know that I do not own many books. If a book stays on my shelf, it has deeply impacted me. Both of these books have been on my shelf for a long time, so you know that I really love them. 🙂

• Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose. This book shares the story of a woman’s miraculous faith in the jungles of WWII. I read it for the first time when I was about 13 years old and have since read it multiple times because it had such a profound effect on me. To read of this woman’s faith in the middle of confinement and horrendous situations as a prisoner of war was incredible. She chose joy over and over again and reminded herself of the truth instead of giving to seemingly hopeless situations. Even in some of the lowest points in my life, I always told myself that if Darlene could find joy and hope, so could I.

• Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. This is one of the absolute best books I’ve read about having a calm, restful, and trusting spirit during the trials of life. I highly recommend it.

What helps you when you are struggling or feel discouraged? Leave a comment and let us know!

If you are struggling and feeling discouraged and overwhelmed right now, I think you might be encouraged by this video I recorded live this morning on Periscope. I shared more of what’s been going on in my life right now and the lessons I’m learning from it.

This video is only available to view until tomorrow morning. You can watch it here. Just click the “Play” button to watch the broadcast. Or download the Periscope app on your device and search for @MoneySavingMom to find my profile and my most recent video.

{Ignore the trolls and few crazy, icky comments on this video. I didn’t catch all of them to block today, so a some of them got through!}

By the way, in case you missed my other post about it, I usually do a short 10-15 minute long Morning Motivation video each weekday morning at around 7 a.m. CT. I’d love for you to join me, if it works for your schedule. It’s fun to get to interact with you all live!

This post is a little personal and bordering on TMI, but you all are like family to me and I wanted you to know what’s been going on in my life the past few days…

The past six months or so, I’d been experiencing a few issues… of the female variety. I didn’t really think it was anything to worry about so I didn’t really pay attention to it much. I figured it would eventually just go away. (I know, denial is not really the best solution, is it??)

The past week, some more issues had arisen to the point where I knew something was clearly not right internally. Jesse encouraged me to make a doctor’s appointment and I was concerned enough that I did.

When I called the Women’s Center to let them know what was going on, they suggested that I come in sooner rather than later. So, even though I had blogging friends flying into town to stay at my house on Thursday afternoon, I went ahead and took the appointment slot they had open then.

Truthfully, I expected the appointment to be very routine: check in, get weighed, ask a few questions, get checked out, and be told to just watch things and report back if anything changed.

Only that’s not how it went. As soon as the PA started the internal exam, they said, “You have a mass on your cervix.”

And then they checked some more. And some more. Brought the doctor in. Checked some more.

This was not what I was anticipating. Not. at. all.

They started throwing out words and phrases and statements that were scary:

We need to do a biopsy.

We need to do an ultrasound.

We need to do surgery.

We may need to remove part or all of your uterus.

My head started spinning. I needed to be headed to the airport to pick up my blogging friends, not thinking about biopsies, surgery, and cancer.

I texted my friends and said, “I’m sorry, I have to get a biopsy on my cervix. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

And then there was more checking. More prodding. More poking. More uncomfortableness. More scary words.

This seemingly routine doctor’s appointment was now far from routine. And I sat there in the exam room not knowing what to feel.

They finished the biopsy, went over all my options and possibilities, and rearranged the schedule to get me in for an ultrasound the following morning.

I walked out of the doctor’s office wondering if my life would ever be the same again. I had to call Jesse and I didn’t know how to break the news to him.

You see, his mom had died of cervical cancer when he was 12. He’d walked this road before and I knew that this news would hit him much harder than it had hit me.

As I suspected, he was shocked by the news. He quickly worked out the childcare situation, dropped everything he was doing, and met me in the parking garage of the doctor’s office so he could drive with me to the airport.

I needed to process the news. I needed him close. And I knew I needed to be strong for him.

We talked through it. I shared my fears. We talked about the possibilities. And we texted my family with the news and asked them to pray.

It wasn’t just the cancer word that was scary. It was also the news that there was a good chance they’d need to remove my uterus.

I’m 33 years old and, as some of you know, I’m at peace with the fact that we might not have more children (we’ve experienced secondary infertility for the past 5 years), but we’ve always hoped that it might happen. So the thought that my child-rearing years were possibly coming to a screeching halt was hard to process. Especially because all of this came out of left field.

We went to the airport to pick up my friends. Part of me felt like this was the worst time ever for me to be hosting a Blogging Retreat at my house. But the other part of me knew that what I needed most was to be surrounded by friends who would make me laugh, listen to me, pray with me, and care for me.

That’s exactly what happened. These four girls were not only a great distraction to me, they were so kind and gentle. Speaking words of life, hope, and encouragement to me.

We got their suitcases situated, chatted a bit, and then left for the grocery store to buy groceries for the next few days (these girls are amazing cooks and food bloggers, so they offered to do the meal-planning and cooking while staying at my house — how cool is that??)

While we were at the store, my kids called me crying. One of them had overheard bits and pieces of the news, had relayed it to the others, and they were all very upset.

My heart broke right in two. How was I supposed to help my kids process all this when I couldn’t even figure out how to process it myself?

I said I’d be right home to snuggle with them and we quickly finished up the grocery shopping and headed home. It took about 30 minutes of talking and hugging and processing before the kids all calmed down enough to be able to sleep.

I felt so helpless to know how to encourage them. But I asked them to be strong for me and told them that we were all going to be brave together — no matter what I heard from the doctor the next day.

Before I went to bed that night, my sweet blogging friends all gathered around me and prayed over me.

It was beautiful. And I knew that God had orchestrated things perfectly to have them at my house the day that I needed them most.

I felt so loved and supported in the midst of my confusion and heaviness. In addition to my blogging friends surrounding me with love, all of my family members had reached out and texted me to say they were praying and to express how much they cared about me. It meant the world to me!

I slept well, but woke up feeling nervous, tense, and apprehensive. I knew that the news I was going to hear today could possibly change the course of the rest of my life.

I felt sick to my stomach and jittery. But in spite of that, I also felt peace.

Peace that whatever happened today, God was in control. Peace that God was going to take care of us.

And I headed into the ultrasound carried by this peace.

The internal and external exam seemed to take forever. We had to wait in the waiting room, do the exams, and then wait again for the reports.

Very pregnant women kept coming into the room for their ultrasounds. There were pregnancy magazines spread out everywhere. And all I could think was, “Most women who come into this office are probably getting ultrasounds of their healthy pregnancies, not finding out whether they have to get their uterus taken out or to be diagnosed with cancer.”

It made me think about how many times we’re in situations where someone might be hurting or carrying a heavy burden and we don’t know it. I want to be more sensitive and caring in these situations.

We finally got to meet with the doctor. I was shaking and scared.

And then she said the words I’d been holding my breath to hear: “I don’t think it’s cancer and the mass is small enough that we won’t have to remove your uterus when we do surgery.”

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

I had prepared for much worse. But instead, it was the best care scenario we could have possibly hoped for.

I felt grateful. Humbled. And exhausted from the tension. All at once.

I know that these stories often don’t have a happy ending. In fact, I debated whether or not to share it because it DOES have a happy ending.

Some of you don’t have happy endings to your stories.

Some of you are probably waiting on results for medical testings that could change the course of your future.

Some of you have probably received hard news in recent weeks.

Some of you are feeling scared and overwhelmed with heavy burdens.

I wish I could tie up all your problems in a neat little bow. I wish I could carry your burdens. I wish I could take away your heartache.

But while I can’t do that, what this week taught me was the power of being a supporter to others who are struggling. Because there are so many people who are struggling.

I want to do a better job of paying attention. Of asking the right questions. Of not being too busy or preoccupied to notice or care. Of making the effort to reach out and let people know that I care about them. Of finding more tangible ways to show people how much I love them.

There is a world of hurt, heartache, and heavy burdens around us. We can’t fix all the problems, but we can love others well. We can’t solve all the crisis that are swirling around us, but we can take time to listen and care about those in our daily lives. We can’t heal all the brokenhearted, but we can shower people with the ministry of our presence.

Together, we can help do a little bit to turn others’ upside down worlds a little more right-side up. And it starts with our willingness to stop worrying about how awkward it might feel or how uncomfortable it might seem, and to just reach out and love others well… just like my blogging friends and my immediate family did for me this week.

Want to win some cute and inspirational original sketches?

Be sure to enter to win one of five original sketches from artist and blogger, Sue Kemnitz.

This week only, Sue is giving away five of her original morning sketches from her blog to five different winners.

She sent me one of her prints and I LOVE it — especially because it inspires me to be brave, even when I don’t feel like being brave.

Check out Sue’s blog here and her website here. You can also read more about her book, Drawing Inspiration A to Z.

Click on the graphic below to enter to win an Original Sketch from Sue Kemnitz. Five winners will be randomly chosen. This giveaway ends Wednesday, August 26, at 11:59 pm, CST.

My friend, Amy, from Amy’s Finer Things, has a great post up on 4 Strategies to Break Free From Survival Mode. Here’s a snippet:

It’s time.

Mid-summer, when our sixth baby turned a year old, I finally admitted to myself that I had been in survival mode for nearly a year, and that it was time to break free. 

There is a time for everything, and adding a sixth child to a busy family the same year that our oldest started middle school and All.The.Activities (cheerleading, music contests, volleyball, basketball, track) that go with it, well, that was a good time for survival mode. Do what has to be done. Hone in on basic needs. Get by. It’s okay!

Survival mode is a tool, not permanent state of being. Even knowing that, it’s overwhelming to conjure the effort to break free. But it’s worth it. Here are four strategies that work for me when it’s time to break free from survival mode.

Read the rest of the post here.

Lynn from Lynn’s Kitchen Adventures has a great post up on How to Create a DIY Planner.