Money Saving Mom®

Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.

What I’m Reading

Right now, I’m reading: A Secret Courage, Fragments That Remain, Cleaning House, and God’s Whispers in a Mother’s Chaos.

I’m also reading The Upstairs Room aloud to the kids at night and we’re really enjoying it.

This past week I finished reading Nothing to Prove and found it really encouraging, inspiring, and freeing. I especially enjoyed the first few chapters of the book.

{See my Reading Goals for 2017. Also, see the 46 books I’ve read so far in 2017 here.}

What We’ve Been Up To

This girl has been cooking and baking up a storm recently. Almost every day, she tries a new recipe and she needs very little help from me.

I love being able to say, “Hey! Can you make bread?” Or, “Want to try this muffin recipe?” and then having it just get baked and done — without much oversight or input from me at all!

{Recipe shown: Pork & Miso Ramen with Asparagus & Marinated Cucumber.}

He went to Camp in the City at our church all this week — by himself! It was his first time to do anything like this without his sisters and I was a little worried how he’d do.

I thought about him all day long the first day and wondered how he was doing. When he got home, after his usual loud proclamations of, “I’m HOME!!!”, I asked how it had gone and if he missed us.

He looked at me kind of surprised and said, “Actually, I was so busy, I never thought of you once!”

My mama heart felt all bittersweet about that! Happy that he’s becoming independent. Sad that he’s becoming so independent.

What I Am Learning

The first few days of this past week, I was just plain tired. Three weeks of back-to-back traveling, walking through an emotionally draining season, + the stomach bug had taken its toll on me.

To make matters worse, I was frustrated at myself for being tired. Frustrated that I had so many things I wanted to do  and needed to do and I felt like I was just hanging on and trying to keep my eyes open.

I realized that I was starting to take out some of my frustration on my family, too. And they weren’t doing anything annoying; I was just plain annoyed.

I saw the warning signs and — as I am learning to do — I stopped and paid attention.

I realized that I hadn’t given myself any quiet and white space after our trip to Kansas. Instead, I had come back home and jumped straight back into life — at full speed.

I also realized that I hadn’t been tracking my water intake ever since getting the stomach bug so there was a good chance I was dehydrated — which also makes me tired.

I wished I could take the afternoon off at that point, but I had multiple deadlines and things that had to be done. So instead, I gave myself permission to take an hour off.

I took a short nap. I went for a quick run. I drank lemon water. I made myself a strawberry smoothie. And, for one hour, I didn’t worry about my to do list.

Giving myself permission to have a Grace Break was just what I needed — and I ended up feeling so much better and energetic the rest of the day!

Oftentimes, when it feels like life is spinning out of control, we can’t take a week-long vacation — like we might feel like we need!

But we can stop and say, “What’s wrong? Why am I feeling this way? What can I do about it right now?”

Those simple questions can make a world of difference!

What I’m Grateful For

We met when I was 9. He captured my heart when I was just 14 years old.

He was my best friend from the time I was 15. He asked for my hand in marriage when I was 20.

15 years later… 6 houses, 5 businesses, 4 cities, 3 kids, 2 states, and still the same one heartbeat: to make an impact in this world together.

None of our life panned out like our big grandiose (and naive!) visions when we said, “I do.” But God had better plans for us than what we could plan ourselves.

He still makes my heart flutter. He’s still picking me up and freaking me out that he’s actually going to throw me into the water (because he has before!!). And he still makes me laugh until I cry.

Jesse, thanks for sticking with me through the good times and the really rough times. And thanks for not throwing me into the ocean this time! 😉

I love you always and ever and I’d marry you all over again! Happy Father’s Day!

What I’m Pondering

Hello, my name is Crystal and I struggle with Mom Guilt.

A lot. I mean, I even sometimes feel guilt over the fact that I have mom guilt.

Many nights, I go to bed feeling like I didn’t do enough with the kids. I probably should have played with them more. I probably should have asked more questions. We should have done more fun things. I probably didn’t listen as much as I should have. And oh! Did they eat enough healthy foods? Are they brushing their teeth enough? I should check to see if they’ve been drinking enough water… and on and on it can go.

I know that I shouldn’t have all this guilt. I know I need to give myself grace. I know I’m too hard on myself… I know all these things, but what if my kids get cavities because I haven’t had them brush their teeth enough or I’ve fed them the wrong foods?!?!

Do you see my problem? It’s ultimately that I want to control everything. I think if I do enough of the right things, I can keep my kids’ world safe and organized and neat and tidy.

But, as I’m slowly learning, I can’t bubble-wrap my kids or completely isolate them from pain and struggles and hard things and discomfort — no matter how much they brush their teeth or how many vegetables they eat!

And that’s why there is Jesus. He’s asking me to let go. To stop stressing over doing everything perfect. To stop believing that I’m the one who can control my kids or prevent them from difficulties or heartache.

He’s not asking me to aim to be a perfect mom, to check all the boxes, to make all the right choices. He’s asking me to rest and rely and fully lean upon Him. To look to Him for wisdom. To trust Him with my kids. And to leave my guilt at the foot of the Cross.

I don’t have to carry around the weight of feeling like I’m not doing enough, because He is Enough.

I want to rest in His Enough-ness. There’s no guilt there, only freedom… to love my kids well, do the next right thing, & leave the results in God’s hands.

The Carpet Beetle Update

So, remember that we had an infestation of carpet beetles in our car??

Many of you asked for an update, and I finally have one for you: after many weeks of getting it looked at by the car dealership, paperwork, and phone calls, our insurance TOTALED our car!

Yes, for real.

All the vacuuming, spraying, cleaning, and diatomaceous earth treatments did nothing because the larvae had burrowed into all of the flooring underneath the carpet and into the upholstery and laid their eggs. GROSS!!!

The final verdict: they said the entire car would have to be gutted inside and everything would need to be replaced in order to completely fix the issue. The cost for this: $30,000!!!

Obviously, the car was not worth anything close to that amount, so instead, they totaled the car.

However, they said that the car was otherwise in immaculate condition, so they ended up giving us $3k more than what we thought was the top dollar we could get if we were to sell or trade-in the car — without carpet beetles!

I just have to say a HUGE thank you to the internet for all your advice through this crazy saga. If it weren’t for some of your suggestions, we never would have thought to call our insurance and open a claim.

So, the power of the internet saves the day — and saves us (likely) thousands of dollars!

And we’re once again a one-car family while we take our time to look for a good deal on a used replacement vehicle!

Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.

What I’m Reading

This past week, I finished reading The Broken Way, DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks, and More Than Just Making It.

The Broken Way really, really impacted me in a number of different ways. One of those was in the area of friendships. I wrote this as a result of how the book challenged me:

“We weren’t created to be loners; we were created for community.”

I’ve said this from stages and written it in posts. And yet, for years, I’ve worked incredibly hard to not inconvenience anyone around me, if I can dare help it.

I’ve gone way out of my way to avoid causing someone else to have to go out of their way.

I’ve struggled through many things privately and not shared them with those closest to me lest I add one more thing to their already-full plates.

I’ve put on a brave face and kept it together when I felt like my world was falling apart because the last thing I would want to do would be to be a burden to someone else.

But I’m slowly learning this is the road of loneliness and isolation.

If we want to develop authentic deep relationships, we have to spill out the vulnerable, broken parts of our soul and let other people in to the messy, hurting, raw spaces. And be a safe place for them to do the same.

It requires the willingness to inconvenience and be inconvenienced. It means we let others bear our burdens and we’re willing to bear theirs. It will result in disappointing others and in being disappointed ourselves.

But when we let others get close enough that our brokenness and messiness is on full display, they also get to see the most beautiful, intimate parts of our heart and soul, too.

And let me tell you, getting to experience that depth in relationship is so very worth being inconvenienced and inconveniencing others for.

Right now, I’m reading: A Secret Courage, Fragments That Remain, and Nothing to Prove.

{See my Reading Goals for 2017. Also, see the 45 books I’ve read so far in 2017 here.}

What I Reminded Myself Of This Week

This morning, I woke up before the rest of my family did and I immediately felt haunted by my inner critic.

“You haven’t made cookies with your kids in a long time!”
“You should make reading aloud with your kids more of a priority!”
“Your house isn’t as clean as it should be…”

And on and on it went. Until I said, “STOP! This is ridiculous!”

Sure, maybe I’m not doing what some other moms are doing. Maybe our house isn’t as clean as it could be. Maybe we’ve watched movies together instead of reading aloud the last few weeks. Maybe I’ve not prioritized cookie-baking.

Instead of letting my inner critic make me feel discouraged and defeated over what I’ve not done with my kids recently, I challenged myself to instead stop and celebrate the many, many beautiful moments and talks and adventures and laughs and fun we have had together recently.

And as I did that, I couldn’t believe how many I came up with! It made me smile and sigh a big sigh of relief to realize that while our lives might look different than others and I’m not prioritizing certain things right now, I AM prioritizing other things — like quality time with the kids, fun together, good conversations, and more time just hanging out and being together.

We can always find things to criticize about our life and our choices. And yes, there is always room for improvement. But beating ourselves up never accomplishes anything that ultimately helps anyone.

Let’s fire our inner critic and replace those thoughts with celebrating the good, the beautiful, and the memorable moments that are happening every day in our lives. Because they are there — if we will just stop to notice them!

(Family photo from Gallery By Laura)

We had a fun park date with friends one morning this past week where we explored, walk a trail, tried some geocaching, picnic lunch, and then went and got free Frosty’s at Wendy’s (the Preds scored 4 goals in their game this past week, so Wendy’s gave away Frosty’s in our area — no purchase required!)

And here’s a little peek into my never-dull life…

Some days, you just smile and hold on for dear life.

I was flat in bed sick as a dog on Wednesday. (Do dogs get sicker than humans? Is that why we say that?!? I don’t know. Regardless, I was sick as all get out and couldn’t keep anything down for hours! Yuck.)

We were supposed to leave to fly to Kansas for my brother’s graduation on Thursday morning. Only, I hadn’t moved from the bed for over 24 hours, so I told Jesse he was just going to have to go without me and maybe we could bump my flight to a day later since I was starting to feel human again.

So he showed up at the airport only to discover that the airline had only ticketed us for two of the five tickets we had bought. It actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it meant they were able to bump ALL of our flights to an afternoon flight without charging me for changing my flight.

But it also meant I had 2 1/2 hours to get out of bed, get presentable, get packed, get some must-do business projects done, and get to the airport on Thursday afternoon.

Jesse had taken an Uber to the airport since we now only have one car (that’s a long OTHER story involving carpet beetles & the insurance company!) and he offered to take an Uber back home so that I wouldn’t have to drive to the airport in my recovering-from-sickness state. I was all, “No, you stay put! I’ve got this!”

Of course, I then proceeded to take a wrong turn and get royally stuck in standstill construction traffic. Which meant that I made it through security and to our gate with literally 4 minutes to spare before the doors closed!! That was WAY too close for my comfort!

But I made it in time! And I had Jesse take this picture of me during our layover in Dallas on Thursday afternoon because:

a) I was excited that I wanted to drink tea after having zero appetite for almost two days

b) I love this new shirt & these shoes I got from Zulily

c) I knew I needed to share this story online. (I’m sure all the dozens of people walking by were wondering what this crazy woman was doing posing right outside of gate C11!!)

So there you have it. Another day in my never dull life! 😉

Psst! Something I’ve Been Loving

So, Allison who is the creator of Get Your Pretty On gave me access to her Summer Wardrobe Style Challenge after she saw that I talked about the Style Challenge that was available as part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

You guys, I am 100% surprising myself by how much I am loving this. I thought it was a great idea, but I didn’t think it would work for me since I am picky about styles and colors and didn’t think that having someone else pick out outfits and give me outfit suggestions would really work.

But I’m finding it to be so inspiring — especially when you see the variations of the outfits that women are coming up with in the Facebook Group. I’ll likely be sharing more about this in the coming weeks once I’ve tried it more, but I just had to mention it here as something that I am loving this week.

Also, my outfit in the airport photo above was totally inspired by the style challenge. I think it’s going to help me feel so much more put-together and also challenge me outside of my usual wardrobe comfort zones. I will keep you posted!

{By the way, if you are interested in checking out the Summer Style Challenge, Allison gave me a coupon code for you all! Use coupon code MSM10 to get $10 off!}

The graduation was beautiful… unfortunately, I lost all of my photos that I took on my phone of it except this one that I had saved in a different place plus the one below of the kids. I was so sad as I had gotten some great photos. 🙁

We loved getting to be with family, to see friends from Kansas we’ve not seen in a long time, and to get to go to my brother’s graduation party, too.

What I’ve Been Pondering

This week, we got the call. The call that we’ve been anxiously waiting for for three weeks

We’d been praying about this so much and hoping for a certain answer.

It had looked like some things were lining up in such an amazing way and we were so excited for how this was all going to work out.

And then we got the call… and it was the exact opposite answer of everything we had hoped for.

The miracle we’d prayed for and hoped for didn’t happen.

The door was slammed shut — and I felt like I’d been punched hard in my gut.

What do you do when the thing you’d hoped and prayed for doesn’t happen? When the answer is no? When your hopes are dashed? When the door slams shut?

You can be angry and upset. Or, you can rest that God is working in this and His plan is different — and better! — than what you thought was the best plan.

We prayed for an answer and we got one. We prayed for clear direction and we got it.

So I will trust that the God who created the clouds and the sunsets, the God Who has been so faithful in the past, He is going before us in this.

His best is always THE best, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. And I can trust that someday, I will look back and understand why. For now, I am choosing to rest in His goodness, trust His character, and choose hope!

What I’m Learning

One morning this past week, I was feeling really overwhelmed with this whole parenting job. One child in particular had been mouthing off and acting out and I just felt like nothing I was saying or doing was making an difference.

I texted a friend: “…Wondering if I’m just totally failing as a mom and wondering what on earth I am doing wrong and what do I need to change…”

This friend texted back: “…Both you and Jesse are perfectly made to be {this child’s} Mom and Dad. Let the love that God has given inside of you flow freely. Let {this child} see Jesus in your actions.”

It was such a simple encouragement: stop stressing over what I need to do or not do, what I need to change or not change. Stop beating myself up or fixating on how I may I have failed or worrying about whether this child’s heart is ever going to change.

Instead, camp on the truth that God has perfectly equipped me with everything I need to be the parent of the children He has given me and focus on loving my kids like Jesus loves them.

“Love them like Jesus loves them.” That became my mantra yesterday and it completely changed my attitude and approach.

I pulled this child aside and shared what God has been teaching about how much He loves me. I asked them how they feel loved and how I can make them feel more loved.

We sat and talked and shared our hearts. They shared how they felt hurt and misunderstood in certain situations and they felt like no one really got it. I was able to share situations in my life where I felt the same.

It was beautiful and it gave me a profound window into this child’s heart and soul. I would have missed this had I been fixated on just fixing the issue.

Jesus cares most about our hearts. He doesn’t care that we have all our ducks in a row, that we do all the right things, or that we get it all right.

He loves us in our brokenness. He died for us while we were yet sinners. He still loves us when we fail and make mistakes.

Lord, let me love my kids like You have loved me.