
A few days ago, one of my children had a melt down over something another child had accidentally done. It wasn’t pretty (are melt downs ever, though??!) and they lost a significant privilege as a result.
As we were discussing the situation, this child blurted out, “But it isn’t fair, because so-and-so did ____ to me!” I reminded this child that what the other child did was an accident and even if it had been done purposefully, the melt down wasn’t warranted.
We went on to talk about how we often can’t choose our circumstances. Life happens, people hurt us, friends disappoint us, we struggle, we get knocked down, and things don’t always go our way.
But no matter how difficult or frustrating our circumstances, we can always choose our response to our circumstances. We can choose to be upset, angry, stressed, and frustrated. Or we can choose to be calm, courageous, and kind.
Our response is always our own choice.
We had a good talk about this and I was feeling fairly good about how things turned out. And then I blew it.
You see, Jesse had done something that was hurtful to me. He didn’t mean to hurt me, but instead of talking through it with him to understand his point of view, I got upset. And I lashed out at him with my words — in front of our kids.
Pretty soon, everyone was frustrated. And in the middle of it, my own words came back to eat at me: “You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your response.”
Argh! That stopped me right in my tracks.
How could I expect my kids to have a right response, when clearly I’m not setting an example of a right response in front of them? The realization cut me to the core.
I had to go in my room and cool down for a bit, but then I came out and asked each member of my family to forgive me. It was humbling to have to confess to my children that I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.
I was so sad to have upset them and hurt my husband with my frustrated words. But in the end, I think we all learned a powerful lesson: It might feel justified to respond by lashing out at someone, but it never solves any problems — it only magnifies them and does more damage.
It’s always worth it to choose to have a right response.
































