Money Saving Mom®

I’m going through your seven day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge and am really having a hard time implementing some things. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and have a 2- year-old.

I honestly want to spend each day with some coffee and mindless TV while my boy plays. This pregnancy has worn me out way more than the first. I’m still getting laundry, cooking and cleaning done when I can put on Barney for a bit or when I’m not napping during his nap, but getting up early is so hard. I went to bed last night at 9 and still was solid asleep until 7am.

I have so many books I want to read, hats I want to knit for my friends moving to China, baked goods I want to make for families, biblical studies and better prayer time that needs to happen, etc. How do I implement both grace and discipline in my current situation? -Paige

{Hugs} Paige! You are in a hard season of life… I well remember those days when you’re trying to care for a toddler’s needs and you’re feeling exhausted from your pregnancy, too!

Here’s my encouragement to you:

1. Give Yourself Grace

There will be time for reading and knitting and baking and studying. Now is not that time. Right now, focus on getting as much sleep as you can, loving on your toddler, and taking care of yourself as you nurture a life inside of you.

When you are feeling discouraged that you aren’t getting much done, remind yourself that this is just a season. Before you know it, your children will be more independent and you’ll probably have more energy, too.

2. Don’t Play the Comparison Game

Whatever you do, don’t compare yourself and what you’re able to accomplish to other women. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses, our own struggles and difficulties.

It’s easy to feel guilty if we’re not doing as much as someone else. But the thing is: we can always find someone who is doing more than us in every single area. So no matter how much we do, we’ll always come up short when we play the comparison game.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, do the best you can do with the time and energy you have and then give yourself grace for all you aren’t doing.

3. Focus on Your Top 3 Priorities

I encourage you to sit down with your husband and discuss what your top three priorities should be for this season of life. Decide on these together and then write them out and stick them some place where you are reminded of them daily.

When opportunities arise or you have creative ideas, look at that list of three things and decide whether these opportunities/ideas are in line with your life. In most cases, I’m guessing they won’t be. And this will allow you to guiltlessly say “no” or set aside the idea for now. This doesn’t mean that you are failing; it means that you are being very intentional about how you spend your time.

If you find it helpful, you can keep a running list of all the projects and ideas that come to mind that you really want to accomplish — but add to this list and then stash it away for someday. That way, you have a record of the ideas, but you are clearly delineating that they are for someday, not now.

If the list ever starts to bog you down or make you feel guilty, give yourself permission to literally rip it up and throw it out. You might find this simple exercise is incredibly freeing to you!

4. Allow Lots of Breathing Room

I cannot encourage you enough to plan lots of margin and breathing room in your life right now. Write out a loose routine for each day, but be sure to plan at least a few hours of wiggle room in your day. This can be for you to take a nap, lie down and watch a movie with your toddler, to cuddle with your toddler and look at picture books, or to do something restful.

If you’re anything like me, by planning rest and relaxation as part of your routine, not only will it make your days much calmer, but it will also allow you to kick back and just “be” without the guilt that you really should be doing something else. If you’re tired, take that as a queue to rest and relax!

What advice and tips do the rest of you have for Paige? Share in the comments!

photo credit

I’m so honored that Incourage chose my book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, as one of their recommended reads this month! They asked if they could feature two posts from me this week, so here’s a snippet from my first post called The Day I Stopped Trying to Be Superwoman:

Not too long ago, I was at a mom’s get-together. I don’t remember what we were talking about but, in the middle of the conversation, one of the moms said sheepishly, “Well, actually I have a cleaning lady who comes every other week.”

She looked ashamed to even admit this audibly, but I quickly set her at ease by looking directly in her eyes and saying, “Good for you!”

We women tend to think that unless we’re doing every little thing to run our homes we are failures. We beat ourselves up if we can’t do it all. We feel guilty for even considering bringing in a little outside help on occasion.

I know the feeling because for years I tried to do it all, too. I juggled babies and toddlers and moves and job changes and homemaking and home businesses and financial struggles and potty-training and blogging and friendships and church and exercise and everything else that I thought a good wife, mom, and business owner was supposed to do.

Read the whole post.

I was incredibly honored that my friend, Michael Hyatt, took the time to read my new book and write a thorough review of it. If you’ve been wondering whether or not Say Goodbye to Survival Mode is a book that would be beneficial to you, I think you’ll find his review very insightful.

Here’s a snippet:

Even though the book is written specifically for women, I found it tremendously valuable—even as a middle aged man. Here are five reasons why:

1. She understands our complex, demanding world. More specifically, she knows first-hand what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and burned out.She is brutally honest with her own life, including the mistakes she has made along the way. She doesn’t set herself up as a guide so much as a fellow-traveler.
2. She offers practical strategies and tools. Though Crystal is long on empathy and compassion, she doesn’t get stuck there. This is a book for people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.She offers practical, real-world solutions that will get you from where you are to where you want to be. The book is full of steps, tips, lists, checklists, and forms. Here’s a sampling of what you will find:
   • how to become more self-disciplined;
   • how to set and keep goals;
   • how to manage your time, money, and home;
   • how to juggle responsibilities and self-care;
   • how to experience less stress and more joy;
   • how to rediscover your passion and purpose for life; and
   • how to keep a balanced life perspective and make a difference in big and small ways.

   Read the full review.

Want a sneak peek at the contents of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode? Download the introduction and first chapter here.

Psst! I think you’ll find #7 on my list especially interesting. It always surprises people when I tell them about it, but it really does make such a big difference!

You may have noticed that I’ve been absent from here this week. That’s because I had a bit of a crazy week… one that didn’t allow much time for blogging. I missed you all so much and thought some of you might enjoy reading a brief recap of the very out-of-the-ordinary events from this past week. So here’s a quick run-down:

Wednesday & Thursday: We get two opportunities pretty much dropped into our lap to do segments with Good Morning America. This was crazy and random seeing as my only other television experience ever was going on the 700 Club two years ago.

Friday: I talk to the producers and we decide to go with the Monday segment. We nail down some more details and around 4 p.m. or so, they tell me they are sending a crew to our home to film a segment the next day. They want to talk about freezer cooking, fitness on a budget, and menu-planning.

I call my book publicist and she recommends that I over-prepare — with props, soundbite points, and run-throughs ahead of time so that I feel really comfortable. (I’m so grateful she had the foresight to have me do this!)

Silas helping me prep food for my Good Morning America segment

Saturday: I spend the morning finishing up the freezer cooking and prepping my topic sheets — with the main points I want to convey in the segment and the specific takeaways I want to share. I clean the house up, get the kids out the door to Grandma’s house, do my hair and makeup, talk to the producer again on the phone, and the crew arrives.

I expected the crew would know exactly what to have me do/what they wanted me to film. But instead, the producer told me she felt I had a really good grasp of what they were wanting to accomplish with the segment and she wanted me to “direct” the piece — telling the crew what I was going to share about and making sure they got the right footage.

I was SO very grateful my publicist had encouraged me to over-prepare! We filmed for almost three hours solid and I was exhausted by the end — but my week was just starting!

Sunday: I got up early to catch a flight to NYC. I was excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because it was my first time ever to go to New York! Nervous because I knew I had a grueling few days ahead of me and I was already tired from the past two days.

I met up with my friend and business manager, Joy Groblebe, and the two of us Colorado and Kansas “bumpkins” were pretty proud to navigate NYC all by ourselves and make it to our hotel without a glitch. 🙂

Monday: My GMA piece aired at 8:35 a.m. and it was quite fun to see what they had done with the 3 hours’ worth of footage (and also a little crazy to think about how much time and money goes into every minute of television since it was hours and hours of work for just a 1.5-minute piece!)

I was also so overwhelmed by all of my friends who called, texted, emailed so incredibly excited about the piece. I’m one very loved and supported girl and I was so touched by how much people went out of their way to celebrate with me. Thank you, friends!

We got ready and headed out to downtown NYC for media training for my satellite media tour on Tuesday. Heather Adams, my publicist, flew in Monday morning and met us at the media training. She’s spent a lot of time in NYC, so we were glad to have her there to help us learn the ropes. We spent the rest of the day in meetings with media and then had dinner at a really fun restaurant in NYC.

Tuesday: We had to get up at 4:30 a.m. in order to be ready and at the studio for my satellite media tour by 6 a.m. I didn’t sleep very well the night before, so I just prayed that God would give me extra energy as I had a very long day ahead of me. And He was so faithful to do so.

Over the course of the next few hours, I did 27 different interviews back-to-back — mostly TV interviews, but a few radio interviews, as well. This was an entirely new experience for me to be doing satellite interviews and it was definitely stretching and outside my comfort zone. But after the first few interviews, I started getting into a groove, and I actually ended up enjoying my morning.

We left the studio and met Chad Cannon (who is the Director of Marketing for my publisher) for lunch and then headed to New Jersey for a meeting with another magazine. I’d never been to New Jersey, either, so I was stoked to get to cross that off my “States I’ve Visited” list this trip, too!

Three exhausted but happy gals! {photo from Joy}

We celebrated the completion of two long days by eating at a sushi restaurant in Times Square and seeing a Broadway show. It was certainly a night I’ll remember for a long time!

Wednesday: We had a breakfast meeting with another magazine, a mid-morning meeting, and a lunch meeting with another magazine. And then it was off to the airport to say our goodbyes and head home.

While I am very grateful for the opportunities I had the past week, I was never so happy to be back home to my family. It was exciting to visit a big city like NYC, but this Kansas girl couldn’t have been more thrilled to come back to yoga pants and PB&J sandwiches. 🙂

My book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, comes out on Tuesday (January 21, 2014)! I am SO excited and can’t wait for you to have a copy in your hands!

If you haven’t ordered your copy yet and want a sneak peek at the contents of the book, you can download a free chapter here. In this chapter, I share:

• A little background on why I wrote this book
• My own personal spiral to hitting rock bottom
• The words my husband said when I was in the pit of despair that changed my life
• Why I stopped using my personal Facebook profile
• The importance of creating a Personal Priorities List
• The four C’s to creating margin

To read the introduction and Chapter 1 of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, click here. If you’re struggling with feeling exhausted and overwhelmed with too many to-do’s, I think you’ll be blessed by it.

Here’s what a reader wrote in about the free chapter a few days ago:

I just read the sample chapter from your new book and I’m not exaggerating when I say it was like I was reading about my own life word for word. I am getting on Amazon to pre-order this now. I really hope that this can help me get back on track!

Slowly but surely, I keep falling further behind. I am a mother to three children, work 30 hours a week outside the home, and my husband is in the marine corps with little to no time at home to help. I feel like I am living in survival mode now just struggling to complete what we need for the next day. Over time, I’ve somehow forgotten who I am.

My daughter asks me what some of my favorite things are and I cannot even answer them anymore. But how can I find myself when I can’t even find my car keys half the time?

Anyway, I am really looking forward to reading your book and trying to find some ways to simplify my life. Thanks for all your help!

If you haven’t ordered your copy of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode yet, you can pre-order your copy on Amazon or through many other retailers here.