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I’m done with being a people-pleaser

I'm done with people pleasing

I read Carry On, Warrior over the weekend. It was laugh-out-loud funny and also gut-honest. While I can’t really highly recommend it because I disagreed a great deal with Glennon’s theology on life and religion, it really challenged me in my writing as a blogger.

You see, I’ve not been dishonest as a blogger, but I’ve held back a LOT over the past few years. And it was 100% out of fear.

As this blog has grown, so have the critics. While you can definitely grow thicker skin, that doesn’t keep you from being human and being hurt by the negativity.

Everyday, there are negative comments and emails from people who are disgruntled with me, with this blog, and with my life in general. It’s the sad reality of today’s online world.

Why I Wanted to Stop Blogging

Three and a half years ago the negativity escalated to a point where I wanted to shut the blog completely down and go dark.

What happened? Well, two people whom I considered to be long-time friends and with whom I had shared personal things, posted very hurtful things about me and my family in a public forum.

Since they did so anonymously, at first, I didn’t know who they were. I just knew (based upon the details they shared) that these people knew me personally.

And let me tell you, that’s hard. It’s difficult when you wonder if it’s your friend at church, a relative, someone in your neighborhood. When you don’t know, it’s hard not to hold everyone up as suspect.

As time marched on and they continued to publicly criticize, I slowly narrowed it down until I knew exactly who the two people were. But they didn’t know I knew… and they still continued to act like my friends in our personal interactions.

Which put me in a really awkward place. And also caused me to feel scared in every relationship. Was this person just pretending to be my friend so she could then go and criticize me behind my back to someone else or somewhere online? Did I even have any true friends?

A Lonely Time in My Life

It was a lonely time in my life. It hurt a lot. And it made me seriously reconsider blogging.

It’s one thing to be criticized by a nameless, faceless person who leaves an anonymous comment. It’s another thing entirely to have someone you thought was your friend mocking and criticizing you in a public forum.

Why was it that this blog that I love so much also opens up the door for every part of my life to be publicly scrutinized? Why can’t people just focus on bettering their lives instead of picking apart other people’s lives?

I wanted to run from it. I wanted to pack it all up, take it down, and go hide somewhere far away from everyone but my family. I wish I were stronger than that and could just let it all roll off my back, but I wasn’t.

True Courage

Being a People-Pleaser Is Exhausting & Unfulfilling

Thanks to my husband and my mom’s encouragement and the grace of God, I kept blogging. But I kind of went into a shell. I stopped sharing a lot of personal details about our life. I stopped feeling free to share my heart.

I held back out of fear. Fear of criticism. Fear of ridicule. Fear of what others would think.

Reading Glennon’s book really challenged me. In the past two years, I’ve been working hard at being authentic in my real-life relationships and it’s been a beautiful thing. I’ve experienced much deeper and real friendships — and have been so blessed by it!

It’s Time to Live With Bravery & Boldness

I want to be real and authentic and honest as a blogger, too. I’ve been so encouraged by your response to me recently bringing back more personal posts. And you’ve encouraged me to be brave and open up even more in the coming weeks and months.

No longer do I want to hold back from sharing things on my heart because of fear of being criticized or what people will think. It’s exhausting and unfulfilling!

Yes, not everything needs to be shared online and some things are better left unsaid, but I’m committing to you, my readers, that I am no longer going to hold back from posting something or sharing something just because I’m scared a few people might criticize it.

I’m done with living under the bondage of being a people-pleaser and ready to start living with boldness and bravery! Today.

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339 Comments

  • Erika says:

    Keep on going Crystal! You continue to be an inspiration to myself and many others. Thanks for setting a great example!

    • HJABCDE says:

      God ALWAYS knows what is going on…PS 139.
      Thanks for keeping on and thanks particularly for sharing this today.
      This post reminded me of how people used to stand up and testify in church to the work of God in their life.
      Blessings on you, your family and your work here.

  • Kelly says:

    Good for you Crystal! I have a feeling those that were criticizing you behind your back were very jealous of the beautiful life you have created for yourself. It’s hard not to take that personally of course, but in reality it was probably dissatisfaction in their own lives that gave them such a critical eye of you. Glad to hear you plan on opening up and sharing more without worry of what others think. You go girl! 🙂

  • Stephanie says:

    So proud of you Crystal. It is sad that people don’t have enough going on in their lives or have enough of Jesus’ love to hold them back from trying to hurt or destroy others. I love your blog, thanks for sharing.

    • Jennifer says:

      My exact thoughts! I don’t understand how you can be so cruel as to post nasty things about another online or anywhere for that matter. It is far from a Christlike attitude. It is one thing to not agree and express that in a christian way, however, I have been taught you do not always have to express your disagreement! People who are so critical of others like this are “broken” and that is how I see them, even though it is hard when you feel hurt by their words and actions.

  • KS says:

    Very good post, Crystal! You go
    Girl 🙂

  • Anne says:

    Such a good post. I agree with being done. Sometimes it takes something to force us to look at things differently. I realized I was done worrying about what people thought after my daughter passed away. She was stillborn at 40 weeks. Suddenly it all became clear to me. I needed to be the woman my daughter expected me to be.
    It really came to a head when I was planning her funeral. Everyone wanted to do it for me…to help me, apparently. But I knew deep done that this was something I needed to plan just like I would have planned her baptism, birthday parties, wedding, etc. So I spoke my mind and it felt so good.
    So look at your daughter and think to yourself…am I being the woman I hope she turns out to be? If not, something needs to change.

  • Jen says:

    That’s a very brave thing to say in this day and age when people tear others down over a difference of opinion. I appreciate your dedication to sharing. You go girl!

  • Jennifer says:

    I am so sorry your friends were criticizing you. That is not ok. Glad you kept on blogging. You have blessed so many people!

  • Katherine says:

    I’ve always loved your blog and have always enjoyed reading what new adventures your family is up to. I too have had hurtful, personal things spread about me but at my work. Never let someone’s childish comments hurt you. Walk with your head held high because you know the truth and you must be doing something right if you still have a successful blog. Take care!!

  • Lana says:

    I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Honestly, that sort of thing is what has always kept me from blogging myself. Please continue to share yourself through your blog. It has become such a joy to follow your adventure with your move and see how God has blessed you in your new home.

    • Joy says:

      I was going to post something similar about this is why I don’t blog nor have a personal Facebook page. I grew up being criticized and bullied by peers so I can’t go through it again in the digital world.

  • Carrie says:

    I can’t imagine anyone saying something negative about you. I would encourage you to confront the people that were saying the negative things. This happened to me with a co-worker. I finally confronted her and asked why she was saying hurtful things about me because it was eating me up inside. I wasn’t mean or angry. I just asked her what I could do differently. It ended up being a good discussion. While I will always be a little cautious now, it did make me feel much better. Take care.

  • tina says:

    Crystal,

    I don’t know you in “real life”, but I find you an amazing person who has inspired me more than people I do know in real life!

    Keep on marching on and just know for every one negative person there are hundreds who adore you!

  • Randi says:

    I love your blog and am so grateful that you do put yourself out there and share with your followers and readers what works for your family.

    My older sister showed me MSM and I am so glad she did because in the end, every wife, mother, sister, daughter, SAHM, FTWM, etc have to do what is best and what works for our family. Your way isn’t necessarily my way, but I SO enjoy seeing what works for you and your family. You are an inspiration and a gift. Keep up the great blogging!

  • Kelly says:

    Good for you, Crystal! As a fellow people-pleaser, I know how hard it is to take criticism. I can only imagine how difficult of a time you had knowing that “friends” were treating you that way! As a teacher, every one in a while, I get awful comments either directly from students’ parents or I hear about the behind-my-back ones from parents who DO like me- and it stays with me for so long! Please know that your blog is a helpful source of inspiration for so many of us who DON’T always comment. I think I speak for thousands of readers when I say that we like hearing your personal stories- successes AND failures- since we can all relate. May God grant you the strength to ignore the nasty critics and continue whole-heartedly being who He made you to be!

  • I’m so, so sorry that you had to endure something so mean! I can totally understand how hurt you must have felt…I’ve been through similar things, and I’m sure most of your readers have too!

    People love coming to Money Saving Mom because they love you and your voice…you are kind, encouraging, and helpful, and I’m sure most of us would love to have you for a friend in real life! There will always be grouchy people who enjoy hurting others from behind their computer screens, but I think the majority of us love reading your posts and knowing about the real you.

    Thanks so much for all that you do to encourage us each and every day 🙂

  • Cris says:

    Your blog has blessed and encouraged me more than you can imagine! I started looking for deals, but it brought me closer to God in the end. I have heard once that having friendships is like a fruit tree, sometimes you need to shake it so the rotten ones will fall. You always encourage people to keep going, and now it is our turn to encourage you to continue with the wonderful work you are doing!

  • Leanne says:

    I’m so sorry that you had to go through that rough time. Thanks for sharing your life with us – you encourage us to stretch and grow. Keep up the good work!

  • Sonya says:

    I have been reading your blog a few years now; love it & you! Carry on and do your beautiful thing.

  • Mary says:

    I’m so glad you’re still blogging – your writing inspires me and has helped me be a better wife and money manager.

  • I love this post! I read that book several months ago and I 100% agree with your thoughts on it.

    I’ve been struggling with being bolder in my own writing due to fear but just this weekend I decided to quit being afraid and to start writing what’s inside of me.

    You are a blessing and inspiration!

  • Stacie says:

    I’m so sorry, Crystal! I knew you had been hurt, but I didn’t realize what had happened. I dislike that so much.

    I can understand a little bit since I’ve felt some of that, too, lately. I think I haven’t really blogged anything personal in a while because of fear. I’m always worried about what people will think about what I write, so I just don’t. It saps a ton of energy from me responding to those negative things.

    Miss you and pray for you often!

  • Deanna says:

    I’m so sorry that you had people close to you cause such hurt. Thank you for continuing to write and share so much of your life with us. I love reading your posts and seeing your pictures. You are someone that I think so many of us feel connected to over the computer and wish we could have for a real life friend. 🙂

    I struggle with people pleasing and insecurity, wondering what others will think so often. I’ve let it keep me from doing things and it really isn’t fun. The past year or two I’ve been able to move past my comfort zone and worrying about what others will think and it’s amazing. I still have a way to go though, and your words today have really helped push me along.

    Hugs!

  • Ashley Smith says:

    Love your blog! Praying you keep leaning in and pressing on!

    The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe… 🙂

  • Kathy in Illinois says:

    Way to go, Crystal! You are such a sweet person. I’m so sorry your so called friends did this. I love reading about your sweet family and your lovely life plus all the tips on saving money. Keep up the good work and keep being yourself!
    God bless, Kathy in Illinois

  • Marcia says:

    I enjoy reading your posts every day! You seem like a genuine, down-to-earth, wonderful person to me. I enjoy reading about your family and life. I also enjoy your informative blogs and appreciate info on good deals.

  • SJ Wolf says:

    That is such a difficult thing to go through. It does hurt when you find out your friends aren’t really being your friends. Thank you for continuing on in spite of the occasional negativity and thank you even more for being brave enough to share your Christianity. You seem very genuine and kind. I wish you all the best.

  • Linna says:

    I’m a big fan of yours, Crystal, but I have to say I find it kind of sad that you “can’t highly recommend” Glennon’s wonderful book just because you disagree with her theology.

    To be honest, I disagree with your theology, but I still highly recommend your website and book to people I know. And I would never add “But, her religion is different than mine, so I can’t REALLY recommend it.”

    If Glennon’s book benefited you that much, it deserves a whole-hearted recommendation, without that somewhat judgmental disclaimer.

    • Jennifer B. says:

      Isn’t it great that we live in a place and time where we are all able to voice our personal opinions?

      I totally understood what Crystal meant in giving a recommendation with her caveat. I don’t think there are only two types of recommendations (“whole-hearted” and not recommended at all). I believe there are degrees in between and Crystal’s posting of this gives others the chance to explore this book who may never have heard of it otherwise. It is her opinion (on her own website!) and I am glad she shared her personal opinion. If I wanted a non-personal review, I’d certainly continue searching out information on this book.

    • Robin says:

      I think it is absolutely appropriate that Crystal recommend the book noting she doesn’t agree with all the content. Books are written by people with varying opinions. I thought her review pointed out the positive aspects she enjoyed and encouraged others to try it for themselves. If a reader agrees whole heartedly with every sentence in every book they read, they are not reading with any sort of discernment or intellect. The point of reading is to engage one’s brain and think.

    • Guest says:

      I appreciate the caveat. Glennon is very funny and makes some wonderful points but I agree that her theology is unfortunately not in line with Scripture in many cases. For those of us who are Christians and believe similarly to Crystal, we’d be shocked to buy a book she whole heartedly recommended and find views like those of Glennon.

  • Susie Bakonis says:

    Crystal, you’ve been such a wonderful encouragement to me. I count it a great blessing that you are so willing to open up your life to others and act as a “mentor” or older sister to those who are struggling. Bless your heart for your courage to open up your life to us. I LOVE LOVE reading about your family and reading your personal posts and learn so much from you about things like parenting, home making, working on personal character qualities, and having the spirit of humility, optimism, and resilience.

    Susie:)

  • I think you are doing the right thing. There will always be people who disagree with you, just like you disagree with others. The trick is to respectfully disagree and take the good things that others have to offer, just like you did with Carry on Warrior.

    I had something similar happen recently at my grandmothers funeral. I write a post on how I deal with the hurtful things that people say.

    http://www.wonderwomanimnot.com/2014/05/when-others-say-hurtful-things.html

    Carry on!

  • Sarah says:

    Thank you for sharing. Just… thank you. Because it has happened to me, and maybe to many of us. Thank you.

  • Amy Lauren says:

    I am so sorry that happened to you. I have had similar things shared about my blog on online forums. The most hurtful things said aren’t even about the blog, content, or me. What really hurts is when someone criticizes family, friends, and those who you love.

    I love reading the posts about your family- it makes you seem so “real” and not just like a blog but a real person. It’s like I can imagine you being a neighbor or friend rather than just a deal/money-saving website.

  • April Emery says:

    Crystal, gosh. I can relate to you in so many ways. I want to be liked and I want everyone to like what I have to say … I fear negative feedback and people not liking me that I don’t really live / speak what I need to. I applaud you for living beyond your fears. You have no idea how many people are inspired by this post (I know I am one of them).

  • K says:

    I am really sorry for the hurt that you experienced from people you trusted and thought of as friends. I can relate.

    I am glad to hear of your determination to move forward with more personal posts, despite your fears. Your more personal/personable posts,(including this one), have been uplifting to me; a blessing even. 🙂

    Thanks for being willing to continue to be a blessing even in the midst of any possible criticism and nay saying. Again, this post has definitely been yet another blessing and inspiration to me.

  • It’s very hard to deal with the mentality of some people, jealousy and envy take over to a point that the attitude is “If I cant have it then you shouldn’t have it either”. So happy for you in your decision to pick up and move on from those people. Keep doing what you do!

  • I agree with you, in terms of this post. When I first came to read your blog, I looked into your older site, books, and posts, which brought me to several not-so-nice posts about your wedding photos, criticisms of your books on Amazon, etc., and I wondered whom had written then, as they seemed almost too interpersonal, you know? Mind you, I may not agree on every post you share, particularly some of the guest posts, but the positive life-affirming advice, I cherish. I also look forward to reading the majority of your posts. What I have noticed is that sometimes your comments seem filtered, and despite knowing how busy you are, have felt slighted in postings where you commented on everyone’s commentary but mine. All-in-all, as a fellow blogger, your commitment to your blog, and the families that benefit from your insightfulness far outweighs any reservations those may have with you. As my grandmother once said, “you have nothing to fear in this world, but the judgement of the almighty, and me.” Keep on being you, my dear! 🙂

  • Emilie says:

    What? Shutting the blog? I can’t imagine my life without it and you. I’ve been following you for the past 3 years almost daily (ok, ‘hourly’ would be truer) What a good decision to keep writing! Even if I don’t always share the same point of view (doesn’t happen a lot) it is always refreshing and inspiring to read your posts. And what I like is really the personal aspect of your blog and how you apply your ideas or goals to your life. It is really inspiring to see you put into practice what you advocate! And it made me see it was possible to evolve at times when I felt stuck…And, I also like getting news from your kids, really! Thanks to you, I am working on a blessing journal, on my budget, on focusing on the positive aspects of my boyfriend (14 year relationship) and not on the negative ones, on trying to be a positive, cheerful mom to my 2 year old. French WOM reading you from Tahiti, a rock really, lost in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. thanking you from the bottom of her heart.

  • Sonja says:

    People’s opinions are like armpits…”Every one has them and they all stink”. 🙂 Good advice from my brother years ago. I am so with you as a people pleaser in recovery 🙂 Don’t worry what anyone thinks. I am learning that we are all imperfect, but, hopefully, humble and growing. Live for an audience of One.

  • Tara G. says:

    Dealing with that betrayal of trust in friendship – especially with those we thought were like-minded – is a difficult hindrance to overcome. I’m rejoicing with you that God has restored and renewed your confidence, and I’m confident from my own experience that He has stepped in and affirmed and blessed you in a myriad of other ways. You’re, a blessing, Crystal.

  • Andrea says:

    Crystal –

    I had often wondered in the last few years where the “meat” of your blog went. I’ve been following (and corresponding) with you for a number of years – since Kathrynne and my son Liam were born. While we don’t necessarily always share the same theology and doctrine, we agree on one thing – Christ and His love for us. I’ve always loved your site, but had become increasingly aware of less personal posts. You’d mentioned friends who had hurt you in the past, and I admit…I started putting 2 and 2 together. As someone who was stalked, harrassed, and slandered in some very public forums by someone I considered a friend and neighbor; I understand your feelings completely. My heart hurts for you and what you went through; no one knows what it is like, how lonely, sad, and scary it can be until they experience it.

    I only offer this advice – keep on writing. Keep pleasing Christ first, and ignore those who’d negate the beauty He’s blessed your life with. As you used to tell me in your emails we sent back and forth – “keep on keeping on!”

    Go get it, Mama! 😉

  • Ruth says:

    I think this post goes along with the one you did on friendship. While we all long for true friends, sometimes a friendship explodes, someone talks behind our back at church, or we are unfairly treated by co-workers. So glad you got a fresh start in your heart and with your new home. Maybe a post on what to do when friendships don’t work out would be useful because so much real suffering takes place when it happens. I feel there are a lot of hurting people out there…and you have so much to share. Bless you.

  • Diana says:

    Yay Crystal!! Good for you! I am so happy you have not let those who hurt you stop you from being yourself and helping millions of others 🙂 I am constantly encouraged by your personal articles and can’t thank you enough for being who you are. Thanks to your recommendation I just completed reading Safe People and it opened my eyes as to areas I need to work on and stop being in relationships with people who are “unsafe” as friends.

  • There’s always a risk when you open yourself up to others. The opportunity to bless another, encourage them, or assure them they’re not alone makes it a risk worth taking. You’ve blessed countless people, including me, with your blog. Keep going!

  • Susan in St. Louis says:

    Yay! Thank you for sticking with it. Not only does your blog bless many, but God uses your example to grow many of us.

  • Cyndy says:

    I had something very similar happen to me and my husband. These people were supposed to be our best friends. We had been friends since childhood. The first time they betrayed us was about 10 years ago. After it happened they came to us and asked for forgiveness. We forgave them and everything pretty much went back to normal. Then just recently we found out that they never really meant they were sorry and have kept doing and saying things. We no longer live in the same town. We have forgiven them again, even though they haven’t asked and probably never will. I try to remember that God forgave me of so much more than they could ever do so I need to forgive them. I have a hard time confiding in people and being myself but I refuse to let 2 people control my life by not being true to who God made me to be. I look forward to reading your blog everyday. You are an encouragement to me. Keep moving forward.

  • Sorry about your experience. There is nothing more disappointing then finding out that a friend (or friends) are betraying you. Especially if you are always happy for them and then to find out that they are saying (or in your case also writing – even worse) mean things about you behind your back. But I’m glad you didn’t quit. I am pretty sure that everyone reading your post today has been in a similar situation to yours and those situations stink, they are unfair and hurtful but you have to keep going forward because I find that for every one betrayal or rude display towards you there is usually ten or more acts of kindness you will receive to outnumber all of the bad. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion ever because even if I or someone else does not agree with it, we should all keep in mind it is just an opinion and respect that – just as we should of everyone’s opinion and try to keep an open mind. Keep doing what you are doing and never be afraid to hold anything back!

  • Kristy says:

    Your blog has been a great encouragement to me for years now! Thank you for everything you offer to so many readers.

  • Carrie says:

    “Why can’t people just focus on bettering their lives instead of picking apart other people’s lives?”

    Yes, that IS the $64,000 question. I think it comes down to two things: laziness and jealousy. People are jealous of your success here, and too lazy to bring about their own success. It’s far easier to pick apart others than fix their own lives.

    The last few years it’s been very hard for me to be authentic as a writer because of my family situation. My husband’s ex-wife, who can’t fix her own life and relationships but seems bent on destroying my family’s happiness, will twist anything said or done in my household for her own evil, slanderous agenda. All of us in the blogging arena have to deal with this – it’s so easy for people to be mean when hiding behind an avatar.

    You’re truly a class act Crystal, don’t let the turkeys get you down!

  • Wendy says:

    Way to go, Crystal!!!! Thank you for your vulnerability in such a judgmental world.

  • Good for you, Crystal! I honestly cannot comprehend why people feel it is their responsibility to share other people’s personal life online – especially anonymously. We all make mistakes, say or do things we later wish we hadn’t, but it takes a pretty insecure person to broadcast other people’s shortcomings. Also, we should be growing as a person – so yes, the life that we lived 5, 10 or 20 years will look different than what our life looks like today. It’s part of the journey.

    Anyway, I needed to hear this today. Last night I got an email from someone who said something about my soon to be released ebook that really hurt my feelings. In fact, I asked my husband if I should just forget it. Fortunately, he deals better with things like this than I do and helped me see the truth and be able to carry on. You just can’t please everyone.

  • This line — “Why can’t people just focus on bettering their lives instead of picking apart other people’s lives?” — is the crux of it. When people don’t like aspects of their lives, they face a difficult choice. They can choose to work to change their own lives…or they can come up with some reason why x, y, and z is unique to someone else, and that person made choices that they just can’t make and blah blah blah. Guess which approach is easiest??

  • Crystal, I’m grateful that you were able share about learning from the book you read, despite your not agreeing with the author’s theology. It reminds me that each of us affects one another regardless of the church we attend or the religion we choose. Ultimately we are all from the same fabric and we never know who God has put before us to help us surrender more to his will and Oneness.

    Your honesty opens my heart. Thank you. I’m glad your mom and husband reminded you of importance of continuing forward.

  • Brooke says:

    (((HUGS))) for having to go through all of that 🙁 You are definitely not alone in your circumstances or feelings. I, for one, am loving your more personal posts and am rooting for you and your family! I am so glad Tennessee has welcomed you with open arms and you have found it easy to make new relationships here!

  • Pamela says:

    Crystal, I have heard that in order to grow in humility, sometimes God allows us to be humiliated. When I worry what others think of me or my family’s choices, I pray for the humility to place less importance on pleasing others, so that I may focus on pleasing God, our only true judge.
    I hope this can help you as it has helped me.

  • Beth says:

    I never comment or post on anything but this I felt to need to mention. I’ve been reading your blog for years back when you where really struggling to make ends meet. It really upset me when you took the “you” factor out of your blogging. I went from reading your blog daily to once a week because the most important person was missing from the writing and that was you. Your stories are what made it so interesting it was not just about the deals but how you where trying to survive and learn how to be a mother. You have a wonderful gift and great stories to share and I hope you know that your what makes your blog and Iam grateful you are back sharing.

  • Robin says:

    Well said. I love your blog, have followed for years, and am grateful for you.

    I commend you to for your willingness to speak out for your faith. Many, myself included, do not always read books through a Christian worldview which can lead to wrong thinking about our Lord, our purpose, and our end goals in life. I, too, am involved in the blogging world and my heart grieves when bloggers promote other bloggers’ books when they have theological errors in them. Bloggers have such sway and captive audiences of enormous size- even more than most pastors. You have an amazing platform and are a blessing to so many people. Keep up the great work!

  • Tara says:

    My husband is the editor of our local alternative news weekly (think Nashville Scene) and he is always criticized and judged. He not only gets emails, but phone calls at work and even Facebook messages! It’s hard to hear and has caused me many tears. Friends even have criticized and started hateful threads on Facebook! Anyways, if it encourages you at all you have helped me tremendously over the last four years. I read your blog while finishing up my college degree and raising two kids and now as I seek employment. You gave me hope and helped me feel proactive at a very scary financial and emotional time. I am a fan of Glennon and thank you always for your positivity and respectful tone when expressing opinions. Even when you disagree you keep your gracious nature!

  • Jill says:

    Thank you for sharing this Crystal! I love your honesty! It’s your authenticity and you sharing more about your personal life that keeps me coming back to your blog. I’m so sorry for what it’s cost you to be real but your desire and journey to end the people-pleasing is a great blessing to me and others who struggle in the same way. Keep on!

  • van brown says:

    I am so glad to see this. You see, I have been reading you for years, and the last few I have felt really lacked a personal touch. So glad to see you come back with why I started reading you originally!

  • Patty Lee says:

    Thank you for this post. Since I found your website via FB a few years ago, you’ve changed the way our family lives financially (frugal to selves, generous toward others). I’ve embraced minimalism (read a recommended e-book), and am making health a priority (I’m going through the health challenge with a friend). I’m inspired by your courage to persevere and continue to be an example for women.

  • Lily says:

    This post spoke to me…. I’m so glad I somehow stumbled upon it! I’ve been dealing with some negativity from a couple people I know, and that has been discouraging. But I don’t want to let others bring me down or cause me to give up on my dreams.

    You have inspired me, so thank you so much! And I’m glad that that book you read inspired and encouraged you. Sorry that you had to deal with that drama!

    Blessings! 🙂

  • Elizabeth says:

    Thank you Crystal for being such a great inspiration to so many of us.

  • Kris says:

    Way to go!

  • Hannah says:

    Good for you! I am absolutely refreshed and inspired by your more personal posts and hope you keep it up. Seeing frugality in action really helps me stay committed and those posts are meaningful to me! Certainly, it is up to you what you choose to post, but you’re far from an oversharer and just seeing tidbits of your daily life is wonderful. I believe I know which forum you are talking about and it is so unfortunate that people can spend so much time dissecting the lives of others and tearing them down. I keep coming back to your blog because you are providing valuable information in a classy way, and I am inspired by your faith and graciousness!

  • Joyce says:

    Crystal, Thanks for being just who you are, just who God made you to be. You’re authenticity is just the encouragement I need to reach out from my shell a bit more. Being hurt stinks but overcoming that hurt with integrity is a sweet balm.
    Blessings to you!

  • Jessica says:

    Hi crystal,

    I have been a long time reader of yours (several years now) and this is the first post/comment I have ever made. Thank you for opening up again. I so enjoy your personal posts (and missed them when they were fewer and far between). You are inspirational and such an encouragement. 🙂

  • Diane L. says:

    This post hit close to home because of an experience I had a couple of years ago. One day I found an unsigned typed note in my mailbox at work criticizing the clothes I wear. To this day I have no idea who left it there. I was so upset that I went home and broke down in tears. For awhile after that I worried as I got dressed for work each day that perhaps there was something wrong with the outfit I had chosen. Finally I realized that if this person didn’t have the courage to come to me personally with constructive concerns, then I really needed to let it go.
    My heart goes out to you, Crystal, as I’m sure you go through much more difficult situations since you are in the public eye. I applaud your courage and your passion for helping others in spite of negative people!

  • denise says:

    Bullying doesn’t stop when you leave school. We have had a similar experience. It has taken me a while to start to move past it. I think it says more about the person/people criticizing, than it says about you! Hang in there. You are not alone!

  • LInda Bossle says:

    Crystal, I am so shocked to hear that you always hear from disgruntled people about your blog. I can almost more understand a couple of jealous friends. People in the online community can simply choose not to see your blog – why bother reading and criticizing. So I’ve told you before but I want to let you know again just how much I love your blog and how much it has helped me grow (and I am much older than you). I count you and this blogs as one of the blessings in my life – so please don’t give up. You really matter to someone out here.

  • Aubree says:

    Good for you! I love your blog and love that you have been more personal in your posts. I read something recently that said “Be a fountain, not a drain.” Fountains are things that everyone flocks to and it spreads cheer. Drains obviously are quite the oppisite. They don’t give anything, they only take and are in the way. I just don’t understand the mentality of people who feel like they have to tear others down.

  • Crystal, wow, what a hard, hurtful thing to have to deal with! I commend you for carrying on and am grateful for your husband and mother for not letting you quit. 🙂 You’ve taught me so much through your blog and I am grateful!

    I’ll be honest though, I really, really missed the personal tone on your blog the last couple of years and almost stopped reading it several times because of that. So I’m more than happy that YOU are back again and making MSM more personal like it used to be. I’m loving it!

    Thanks for being courageous enough to be honest and real with us, your readers. I know it’s a risky thing! And I truly hope the positive that results from it can outweigh the negative.

    Blessings!

    • Deanna says:

      I have to agree. I have so enjoyed your recent personal postings. They have made me examine my own heart and relationships. I look forward to reading your blog now each day where in the previous year or so I often went several days without really checking in. Thank you for being willing to share your journey with us!

  • Stephanie says:

    Crystal, I think most of us have been in your shoes. Words of rejection are very painful. People need to realize that once you utter unkind words, those words are out there forever and can never be retracted. Even if there has been an apology, I doubt the recipient will ever forget what was said. It is so easy to hit ‘rewind’ in your head to hear those words over and over again.

    But your honesty about it helps your readers relate to you all the more. I don’t have a blog, but I’ve had relatives (people who are supposed to love you?) say unkind things about me on FB for everyone to see. I shut down my FB account years ago as a result (much happier now without it!). And I have not attended a family reunion since. I came to realize that just because someone is family doesn’t mean they have to be in your life if they are dragging you down.

    We just recently moved to a different state to be closer to my husband’s family (whom I adore), and to have a more positive support system. Life is too short to waste on what other people say or think! Be the best you you can be and concentrate on the beautiful people in your life.

  • Thank you for being open and authentic in your writing and with those close to you. It’s sad that in the past that has led to attacks from people you thought were true friends.
    It would be hard not to hide after the pain, but I know you have built a strong community of real life friends and blog supporters who support you on your journey : )

  • CJ says:

    It is very hurtful when a friend betrays you and it is usually because they are unhappy with something in their own lives. I am glad you have not given up and have chosen to be bold. Your honesty is one of the reasons I visit your blog. Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing great!

  • karen b says:

    I don’t personally know you but PRAISE THE LORD you didn’t stop blogging then because that is when I discovered your blog & what a blessing it has been for me. I just can’t imagine what you went through…….thank you for continuing even w/ the negatives…..I personally can’t imagine

  • Many years ago, I sent you a very harsh e-mail that was critical of a sponsored post you had done. Ever since I hit send, I have deeply regretted the angry, judging tone with which I wrote it. But you were kind and honest in your response, and did not judge me, and for that I am very grateful. I was always very impressed with your response to adversity.

    I’ve followed your blog since the early days and you have served as an inspiration to me all these years. Please keep on doing what you are doing here at Money Saving Mom. You have a gift and you are much appreciated!

  • Lauren says:

    Your blog is so inspiring to me. For every naysayer there are 100+ who have been encouraged! Thank you!

  • Carlee says:

    Awesome Crystal! Thank you so much for all you do. You are an enormous source of encouragement!

  • Courtney says:

    Good for you, Crystal! There is so much freedom in being yourself and not worrying what others think.

  • Tasha may says:

    Thanks for sharing your feelings and life experiences. You are helping others that are struggling with the same experience to be strong. You go Crystal!!! I love your blog and keep inspiring all of us! Thanks

  • Crystal, you continue to be one of the most authentic bloggers I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and I am so glad to see you using these hurtful experiences to encourage others to grow along with you.

  • Kandice says:

    Just wanted to add my thanks that you have been led through that trial. Your humility, honesty and grace shine through your words. Thank you for sharing your journey – all the hills and valleys included.

  • Nicole says:

    I have been there… I took down my blog because of a close friend’s negative comments. The discouragement coming from my friends kept me from fulfilling a dream. I love that you posted this today! I just bought a new domain and I’m starting to blog again regardless of what anyone says. I love your blog, books, advice, emails, social media posts, that time you spoke at GHC in Cincinnati, and everything you do! PLEASE keep going!

  • Susan says:

    I just want to say, “You go, girl!” Be true to yourself and do what makes you happy. When you are happy, it attracts more people to you who will like you for being you.

  • April says:

    Wow Crystal, thank you so much for your authenticity with this post. It nearly brought me to tears, in part because of the hurt that you went through but also because I went through something similar (except it wasn’t online). And for me the pain ran deep, particularly because I knew that I hadn’t done anything wrong to deserve the hurtful words spoken about me to others. In fact, the opposite was true, I had given and given to the point of extraordinary sacrifice.

    During this season of my life, I remember the day Jesus whispered words of encouragement to me and reminded me that He knew exactly how I felt. He had given His life for me and others, only to be rejected, criticized and mocked by so many. That day became another turning point in my walk with Christ. I ended up getting on my knees and cried (and repented) for the times that I had rejected or ignored Him over disappointment due to an unanswered prayer or a hardship that I had walked through.

    Needless to say, like you, I came out of that season stronger and more committed to pleasing Christ rather than other people. I’ve learned that life works much better for me that way. : )

    God Bless You and keep up the great work and posts!!

  • takeya duncan says:

    You go girl, lol I have loved your blog since i found it about 4 1/2 yrs ago and you are the reason i want to start a blog because you shared with us. Please don’t stop because of people, if you are pleasing God and your family is ok then post it, you never know what that post might do for someones life… Stay blessed and encouraged

  • Brenda says:

    I love you, Girl! You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. And I have loved watching you come out of your shell the last year or so. Leaving the comfort zone is hard, but rewarding. Thanks for loving on me and the rest of your readers.

  • April says:

    You are amazing. Your critics are just jealous. Thanks for not quitting. I’ve learned a ton from you!

  • Mona says:

    Great job Crystal!!! There are a lot of us that love your blog and what you have to say and share about your beautiful family. It is a shame that there are nasty, negative people but they are a part of all of our lives but please don’t let a couple ignorant people bring you down. You are a better person than they are but its always hard to find out that someone you thought was a friend could be so mean. Keep up the great work and we will be there to back you up!

  • Brenda says:

    I love you, Crystal! You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. I have loved watching you come out of your shell the last couple years. Thanks for loving on me and your readers.

  • Lindsey Swinborne says:

    Thank you for being open about this, and so many other things over the years. You are an inspiring young woman and God has used you in so many wonderful ways. You’ve helped so many families save money and learn to be more frugal. I’m glad you didn’t stop blogging! I still check in with MSM.com every single day!

    I’ve been attacked online by anonymous people and by friends and it is heart-breaking when it is someone you know. Whatever happened to the good ol’ phrase “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” People on the internet can be so mean. I was scared to open up to friends for a while after one friend took something I told her in confidence and then later used it to threaten me. She became an alcoholic and was on the verge of using her children so she was angry and wanted to blame anyone who wouldn’t give her what she wanted. She threatened my children and I was honestly scared this “psycho” would burn my house down even though I’d done nothing but try to help her. Thankfully a year after this she got cleaned up, got in a 12-step program and sent me a letter of apology. I hope you have had some restoration with the friends that hurt you, and that they have apologized for hurting you.

  • Kenani C says:

    Just know that you have been a blessing to people everywhere (even here in HAWAII)! Keep up the wonderful posts, they are appreciated!

  • Zan says:

    Hmmmm…Made me think of Jesus. His own disciple and close follower betrayed him. Be encouraged; Your blog has been such an encouragement to many. I love the family stories you share – can’t help but stop by very often (almost daily) to see what you have to say.

  • I wondered why the blog changed slightly. I love the personal stories the most. I’ve gone through periods of anger where I lashed out for reasons unknown to co-workers and acquaintances. I’m guessing your friends need prayer. All of us are hurting, and some for reasons that can’t be discussed publicly, so we smack down innocent bystanders in a moment of stress. Illness, job loss, loss of reputation, loss of innocence…all the things that can’t be repaired, must be accepted by grace, and that is what you have taught us so brilliantly. Thank you!

  • Jen says:

    Thanks so much for being transparent. I have really enjoyed your more personal posts since your move as it’s great to see what you and your family have been up to. I can so relate to being a people pleaser and what really struck me about this post is that if you would have continued to let those “friends” keep you from being yourself, the rest of us would have missed out on learning so many great things from you and continuing to be inspired in new and fresh ways. I find that inspiring in my own life! Just know that there are many, many of us readers who are cheering you on and totally blessed by this blog!

  • Amen Sister! Life is SO FREEING when you stop worrying what others think of you! God Bless You!

  • Oh Crystal! Your post was just the perfect message for me today. I am a new blogger and I got my first hate mail…over an article about pizza of all silly things! It broke my heart. You are right. We can’t please everyone and it is pointless to try. I am very glad you didn’t delete your blog. I read you very day and you have changed me in so many wonderful ways. Thank you!!!

  • Laura says:

    You go girl! You have every right to do what you feel is right for you and your family. I am grateful for what you give out of the kindness and genuine helpfulness of your heart and caring for your fellow man. Other peoples negativity is insecurity oozing out of them and petty jealously. Cheers to you!

  • l.noguchi says:

    Wow..thanks for sharing! You have really inspired me with this personal message. I guess we all live in a little bubble where we think we can’t escpase or that you are the only one going through such pain. But then just ask a ‘good’ friend or do a search on amazon books and you’ll find you are not alone. You are one of my favorite bloggers! So cheers to you! Keep up the good work! oxox

  • Blessed to be led by your bravery! Blog on, Warrior. 🙂

  • Elizabeth Kamm says:

    Hello my Dear Crystal! I am so sorry to read this that people did that to you. I always wondered all those years ago in Overland Park when we were friends why you always seemed a bit guarded. I had NO idea people had done such things to you until you had shared this today. Please know your real friends love and support you!
    I have actually loved seeing your personal updates as Avery remembers you and both of your girls! I know it has been a very long time since we have connected but I think of you often when I see your instagrams and read MSM. I had another girl, named Katharine 2 years ago and am having a BOY in November! A far cry from what I was going through back then! I really need to e-mail you! Sorry to write such a long comment. Just wanted you to know that as someone who “knew you when”, I think you are awesome and I am proud to say you and I were “mom friends’ back in the day! Sending Love~

  • sue helmke says:

    Be a god pleaser only. Everyone has their opinion. When u are using your talents people are going to be used by satan to try to stop you. Do not let them discourage u

  • Quin says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this Crystal! Many of us have been in your shoes, although that does not lessen the blow and the hurt you must have felt. I’m glad you’re back to posting about your life. I have truly missed it. I had actually quit spending as much time on MSM, because I missed the blogging side of it. You’re a beautiful person, and thanks for sharing the faults and all with the world.

  • Allie says:

    Crystal,

    For more years than I can remember, I have been stopping by your site for tips, tricks, and inspiration. It never occurred to me that there were people who would want to publicly insult you, let alone places where they could do so. That’s really awful.

    I rarely take time to comment, but now wish I had done so much more frequently. I can only imagine that I am one of thousands of women who read your work, use your tips, get the deals you post, read about your family and then go about the day with a lighter heart. I’m glad you were able to use the support of your family and friends to get through the tough time.

    Next time I read something that speaks to my heart, I’ll be sure to post a comment! Keep up the amazing work!

    Allie

  • katie says:

    Good for you! Me too! I think you’ll really enjoy brene Brown’s work! You may also like Dr. Christiane Northrup!! We’re all in this together!

  • Lisa says:

    Reading this blog post makes me feel like standing up and applauding you. Your courage is such a great example to me. I first ran across your blog in 2010 and followed it a lot as I was a new mom in a tight financial situation, doing a lot of couponing, etc. Over the last couple years I didn’t follow your blog closely, but recently I’ve returned to it more from a personal standpoint because I love reading your authentic stories and your perspective. I’m also in the middle of your book and really loving it so far. Thank you!

  • Jessica says:

    I think we can all have different beliefs without insulting one another! I practice my spirituality differently than you do but it’s not something I would insult anyone over. I have, however, been on the receiving end of some terrible words and from family nonetheless. It’s sad that someone you thought was your friend would do that to you. I can understand your being guarded, it’s a natural reaction. But being guarded is a lot of work and it’s hard on your body and your spirit. I’ve reacted in much the same way with those family members. I’m teaching my children to be open and honest and respectful of the beliefs of others even if it’s not something they agree with themselves. My daughter’s best friend’s family is Buddhist- the dad grew up Catholic as did I. Many of our family members wouldn’t let their kids be friends with a person of another faith but I’m enjoying this opportunity to learn and be accepting of others. Far too few Christians abide by the “Do unto others” principle.

  • Lynn says:

    So sorry that people have to be so cruel. You have been such an inspiration to me over the years and I read your blog daily. You are always very real and compassionate! Don’t let these people get to you. God Bless You for all you do!

  • Linda says:

    Pray for those who persecute you…they are broken hurting people…if anyone is criticizing you it is because your success makes them feel like a failure, not because you are a failure. I love your blog, even though we don’t know each other I feel like I know you and that we are friends. You inspire me to be a better mom, friend and spouse.

  • Brighid says:

    Crystal, I’m another person who’s really been touched by all your sharing. 🙂 30 Minute Rolls were on the menu last night and they worked great on a cast iron griddle on the grill. Every month we save money based on a post you had about refinancing a home. Whenever you post about running and exercising, you inspire me. Maybe someday I’ll actually start a couch to 5k program!

    And thank you for sticking with it! I know there’s no way to measure all the good you’ve created but somehow, please imagine easier dinner conversations where families have yummy food and pleasant conversations because they are less worried about what’s for dinner, how to afford the next big bill, and can pass on a book recommendation or other fun bit of information from your blog.

    Thank you again.

    Oh yeah, about those friends you spoke about, I think it might happen more often than you think. I know when a similar thing happened to me, I was just speechless.

  • Shawn Hutmacher says:

    Crystal,
    I have been following your blog for many years and I have never commented before but your post touched me as I am a people pleaser as well. I work in customer service and it is a difficult business – I sometimes feel like I have to build myself up daily to be able to handle the people, competition and ulterior motives I encounter every day. Your positive outlook and honesty has always been something I looked forward to and cherish as you admit you are not “SuperMom” and struggle just like the rest of us following Jesus through this human life. I’ve never been good at letting it roll of my back either because I can’t fathom how people can be so cruel and dishonest. You inspire so many of us every day and there is a reason you have been given the talent, courage and strength to do what you do. Thank you for everything you do and thank you for not giving up!

  • Andrea says:

    Those people who make nasty comments are unhappy in their own lives, jealous, and insecure. I am also a people pleaser and have been trying to change, but it is slow going. I constantly worry about what people think of me. Thank you for inspiring me.

  • Liza says:

    Crystal, you are working to help families be the best they can be and you inspire women to be a godly wives, loving mothers, and intentional planners for our family’s lives and finances. Love you and your blog!

  • Karen says:

    This post had to be difficult to write andI I applaud you for being courageous.
    I give you enormous credit for gaining celebrity yet remained true to your ideals and morals. Ignore the negativity of people who are too insecure to handle your success! You are a very remarkable young woman!

  • You were made to thrive! 🙂 I love seeing all the things from your heart that you share.

  • Jennifer says:

    Go Crystal!
    I read several other sites for good deals but find myself coming back to yours for the inspiring content. I know from experience that you won’t make a positive connection with everyone no matter how hard you try but there are people who really need what you have to give. Just keep that in mind when it tries to get you down.

  • Therese says:

    Crystal, Please don’t stop blogging! I love you and your blog! You have helped me and others so much!

    Regarding the people who hurt you, I’m constantly mystified at the behavior of some people. I don’t understand how people can be so disrespectful and deceitful and hurtful and ignorant.

    There are FAR more people who love you and appreciate you than the nasty ones who criticize you.

    God bless you!

  • Laura CD says:

    The older I get, now in my early 50s, the less the opinions of others matter. Trust that there are so many of us out here who enjoy and gain many blessings from your blog. I feel sorry for those who are so small they have to criticize others to feel better about themselves. And, it’s so easy and cowardice for people to say things on the internet that they would never say in person. Do what resonates in your heart and fulfills your calling. Pray for them but shake the dust off your feet and move on.

  • DebS says:

    Your post just confirms how worthy you really are. There are always going to be people out there who want to rain on your parade. That is their problem and you can’t change that. Some people need to knock others down to pick themselves up or are just plain mean or jealous, and in small ways we all have to deal with these kind of interactions in our lives. I imagine it’s harder when you have put yourself out there as you have. but you are truly doing a service to all of your loyal followers here. I love reading your blog every day. I truly was missing the personal posts because I got something out of them. There are lots of blogs out there with deals and coupons and all that, but your personality is what has kept me coming here day after day. I honestly was going to give up on this blog when you stopped doing the personal posts, but decided to stay after I read about your move and all the exciting things going on. And the blog is great again! I so love it this way. So, don’t worry about the negatives, there’s always going to be naysayers out there, and feel the love of the rest of us 99.9 percenters!!

  • Andrea says:

    Although I am not a mother (God knows when that’ll be) I continue to follow you because of your wonderful words and inspiration! This post is one of those many reasons I continue to follow you. I clung to every word as I too have been in a similar situation with losing great relationships over hurtful words and actions. I read a few comments and it is true, that those hurtful things (as I’m sure you already know) are rooted from their unhappiness, jealously of your success and ‘un-dealt’ insecurities. It’s unfortunate to have endured that pain and loss, but I am can only hope and pray that it was a season of growing and gaining tremendous strength! I am one of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of ladies who encourages you to keep on keepin’ on 🙂 blogging is truly a calling that not everyone is called to do. Blessings to you, sister! xo

  • Kimberly says:

    Crystal, I’m not much of a commenter, but I want you to know that I’ve been a reader of this blog for years. In fact, I’m pretty sure you only had one child when I first found you. I loved reading your blog in the early years. I did notice in the last few years that the blog became much less personal, and although I do love a bargain, I didn’t enjoy reading the blog as much. I’ve seen a real turn around in the last several months. It feels more like it did in the beginning, and I love it. And if people want to be cruel and criticize, it says much more about them than it does about you. Believe me, you’re blessing many more people than you realize 🙂

  • Roma says:

    I too have stopped being a people pleaser. I realized my worth was in Christ and Christ alone. I can count my true friends on one hand. Not many but I would not have it any other way. I care only to serve Him and please Him. Proverbs has many verses about friendship.

  • Jennifer says:

    Crystal, I’m just so sorry that happened to you! I think you and your family are wonderful… You inspire me and so many others. I love reading your articles and I have both of your books. I’m glad you kept writing in spite of the hurtful things that have been said. That really takes courage, so good for you!

    I hope those “friends” read what you said and decide not to be so critical of their other “friends”. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time and I recall you making comments about being hurt by friends and now I know what you mean. Thanks for continuing with your blog… so many people love it!

  • Janice lum says:

    You.Go.Girl.

  • Tracie H says:

    I loved this post. I admire you so much, I try to never miss a post, and I especially love the ones that are more personal. Keep up the excellent work!

  • Charity says:

    Crystal,

    Thank you for sharing this experience and so much else about your life and family through this blog. I am sorry you had this horribly negative experience, but I am glad that you have decided to continue on true to your ideals and your goals. I have found much encouragement and inspiration through reading your blog, and while I do not comment much, I wanted to take a moment to let you know that you have touched my life and I am sure many others. My family has also gone through some hard times of this sort, and I assure you that not only is God’s grace and help enough to get through, we got through it and have thrived in spite of the negativity. I do not understand why others feel the need to tear other people down in order to attempt to build themselves up/feel better, etc, but that is too often the case. It does shake your trust in others, though. I think the main thing is to hold faith in God and trust him to lead you to those who are true friends in life and to guide you in coping with those who aren’t. Stay strong, and thanks again for sharing!

  • Im the Mom says:

    I always enjoy your blogs. So sorry people feel a need to be negative. Keep your head held high and keep believing in yourself. You have no idea of the number of people you have touched, helped, amused or otherwise entertained since you began your blog. Keep it up, girl!

  • Alissa says:

    I read one of your old posts tonight (about emergency savings) and was appalled by some of the comments. I just recently found your page/blog but I truly appreciate what you are doing. No, not everyone is going to agree with your methods, but I hope that being part of the positive feedback will keep you going. You will never please everyone, but you are doing a great thing for many people and please don’t let the little bit of negativity stop you! God bless.

  • Quia says:

    Crystal you are so strong, thank you for sharing. People who insult and criticize others, lack peace and self confidence and sadly it makes them feel better about themselves, but unfortunately this feeling is only temporary. Thank God that you had discernment to weed out the wolves in sheeps’ clothing. Please note that no matter how much you try or exert extra effort in pleasing others, these people will find something wrong. You are doing a great job just being you, and that in itself is not contingent on people. Continue sharing and being proud because your blog has been helpful and has blessed me in so many ways. Have fun on your journey!

  • Myrna says:

    I am so sorry to hear that you’ve been through this. I know that anyone who publicly states their opinion on anything opens themselves to criticism from those who think only their own opinion is right. It’s very sad that people can be so mean spirited. But the thing that really bothers me is that you know these people. The fact that they are not big enough to have an adult discussion is simply awful. I am glad to hear that you have risen above their pettiness. Bravo to you and thank you for your blog. It does help a lot of people.

  • Jeanette says:

    Crystal, I am so thankful for your blog and the leadership you present through it. There’s many challenges that you’ve brought to light that I’ve been able to relate to and you grant so much encouragement through it. Thank you for sharing your struggles and being a real-life mama. I look forward to reading more from you!

  • Lisa says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It is an inspiring read for people like me who get really torn up when people we love say nasty things about us. I deal with this all the time in my family. It’s affected me greatly and started to be such a negative aspect in my life that I just had to let certain people “go”. Caring too much about other people’s opinions of me is still something that I struggle with. It’s hard! But, I am glad to hear that you are working pass it and hopefully I will be able to do the same someday. Your blog is wonderful. Sometimes people feel the need to judge others because their own lives are missing something that they need to take it out on those that they are jealous of. Keep on blogging and being yourself and weed out the toxic people in your life!

  • hope says:

    I’m fairly new to your blogs, but I find so much inspiration in them. Thank you for what you do. Keep it up.

  • Katie says:

    I have totally enjoyed your posts. I love to see your goals and the ones that get crossed out. I love, love, love the family pictures with the kids helping. My husband and I have been inspired mostly by freezer cooking and we are actually going to attempt

  • Jenna says:

    I too was so excited when you posted that you were going to get back to more personal blogging. I’ve been following you for probably about 6 years. Back in those days I followed 20+ bloggers. Since then I’ve dwindled it down to about 5, and often times I don’t have the time to read every post in the emails. But when I scan through the list of posts at the top of the emails, I get excited for personal ones and always take the time to read those. I don’t have the time anymore to chase down deals at multiple stores, but the recipes and tips for day to day living benefit me SO MUCH. Thanks for sharing why you pulled back. And thanks for deciding to begin to share more again. I can only imagine how difficult it may be after being hurt by those you trusted. Head up, one foot in front of the other. XOXO

  • Katharine says:

    As so many others have said, I’m so grateful you continue to blog! I have been encouraged to spend my time and money wisely as a result of your thoughtful posts and have also gotten some delicious recipes. I have really been enjoying your recent posts as well!

  • Carol says:

    So many FB pages or blogs that I follow have this same problem. I just don’t understand why people feel the need to hurt others. Embrace the positive and delete the negative and be yourself. I promise there are a whole lot more positive!

  • Rita says:

    Crystal, thank you for being real! I love what you & your family stand for & you are making a difference! Keep being you!

  • Karen says:

    This is awesome. I am at a similar place in life, in that I’ve realized I’ve been people pleasing and afraid to be myself. It’s amazing when you wake up and realize that very behavior is what has prevented authentic friendships. I am looking forward to reading Safe People as well. I followed your blog for the deals but I love the personal turn it has taken. Keep it up!

  • Kayla says:

    First time commenting but I have been following your blog since 2008. You have saved my family a lot of money and initially inspired me to start blogging. 🙂

    I want to say that I LOVE this post! I just recently reached this point in my life (and my blog as well). I was afraid to share details of my life and that’s is hard to do with a ‘lifestyle’ blog.

    I never realized how much of a people-pleaser I was, but it’s such a freeing feeling to not allow it to bring you down/hold back anymore. I enjoy reading your personal posts and I am really glad you brought them back!

  • Jamie Klotz says:

    I have been having the same thoughts this week. I heard Keith Moore last year say that one day we will be held accountable for things said AND unsaid and that stuck with me big time! I do not have a problem saying things I shouldn’t. I have the opposite problem. Keeping many things locked inside that are really good, but like you, fear keeps it inside. The enemy convinces me that it’s not important, or worthwhile, etc, but so many things in my marriage, parenting, etc would be different if I’d open my mouth! I’ve been praying for boldness to speak the truth in love. 🙂

  • Amanda says:

    Hi, Crystal,
    I also rarely leave comments, but I wanted to tell you that I am so grateful that you did not stop blogging. Your tips really helped my family, especially when I was expecting my second child just after having had my first baby! I was so overwhelmed, but I found your blog and YouTube videos, and your advice helped me make the most of that time. I look forward to more posts and videos!
    Sincerely,
    Amanda

  • Jennifer says:

    You’re so brave! And think about the hundreds of thousands, if not more, people you have helped in the past couple of years through Money Saving Mom. That wouldn’t have happened if you had given those false friends power and stopped blogging.

    Your fans far outnumber the haters, who are just jealous.

  • Lindsey says:

    Crystal-
    I don’t comment very often, but I am a regular reader of your blog. Last night, I was a Bible study with a few other ladies and one lady shared that she was really struggling with time management. She is a SAHM of four and she homeschools. I pulled out my iPad and pulled up your blog. I showed her the time management series and encouraged her to read it. Another lady shared that your blog is so encouraging to her. She is a house mom to 10 kids in foster care and she has learned a lot from your blog about priorities, time management, and thriving rather than just surviving. So, all that to say thanks! Thanks for sharing and seeking The Lord in your blog. We love it!

  • mel says:

    How people can be like that is beyond me. Youve helped way way way more people than those critics have, so forget them and carry on. They have issues…not you.

  • MK says:

    Just wanted to echo the many, many other commenters saying they’re so glad you didn’t stop blogging! MSM has been so instrumental in setting up my household in our own tiny basement apartment. I don’t know how many times I’ve read those posts!

    Your writing has been a great encouragement to me; thank you and please don’t stop!

  • Rachel Smith says:

    Crystal, I have always struggled with being a people pleaser and dealing with criticism, but I have certainly not dealt with it to the extent you have. I am so sorry for the things that happened to you! Please know that your positivity and transparency blesses and challenges me all the time. You often write about topics that speak straight to my heart–thank you and good job!

  • Alexa says:

    Whether you realize it or not you are a role model for so many women out there. (Myself included.) And those who criticize are probably only doing it out of jealousy. A few people might criticize you but by sharing your story you are truly helping thousands of women.

    I know what it’s like to be a people pleaser though. Only in the past couple years have I realized I need to do whats right for me and not for everyone else. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

    Just remember for every negative comment you receive you have a thousand positive ones. There will always be people out their who are gonna hate.

  • Sandy says:

    Dear Crystal,

    I am like Allie who said “I have been stopping by your site for tips, tricks, and inspiration.” and never once have you let me down. The most recent “uplift” you gave me was on July 4th when you posted “Funding an Emergency Fund on a Really tight Budget”. I soooo needed that as my husband and I are working on getting his business off the ground and paying cash all the way. THANK YOU for that post. I came just in the right time for me.

    As for the “ugly critics” (my polite phrase for them) I have the following thoughts;

    “I feel sorry for people who are so insecure they have to put other people down to make themselves feel big” – Sandy (me)

    “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

    And from one of your favorite inspiring people and his titled “11 Rules of Go” comes the number one thing on his list – “1. Haters only get loud when you do things that matter. . . IT’S ABOUT TO GET LOUD!” – Jon Acuff

    As you have made the promise to us not to let “ugly critics” stop you from what you want/ need to say, I will also make the point to stop and let you know how a particular article, tip, trick or inspiration helped lighten my load and provide an answer to my prayer that day.

    Thank you Crystal for all you do!! Keep going!!! You’re doing a great job!!!

  • Jolene says:

    Bravo!! It is very hurtful to be criticized meanly by those who you thought were your friends, unfortunately I know how that feels. Good for you for being strong and moving forward. I wish you and your lovely family all the best things in life!

  • Hope says:

    I like this post! Good for you! And whoever those people were who were mocking and criticizing, well, I have some mean things I’d like to say about them, but let’s just say they were jerks.

  • JOYce says:

    Read this on facebook earlier today ~

    I don’t know the actual meaning of maturity, but for me maturity is when a person hurts you & you try to understand their situation rather than hurting them back.

    and then this ~

    http://www.thedailybibleverse.org/bible-verse-therefore-if-you-are-offering-your-gift-at-the-altar-and-there-remember-that-your-brother-or-sister-has-something-against-you

    and then we have If/Calvary’s Love/Amy Carmichael

    The beast of commenting is just that ~ in God’s economy, we can walk in AND after the Spirit and grow in the light of His glory and grace.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comment

    🙂

  • Karissa says:

    I have been following your blog faithfully for a few years now. You are such an inspiration to me on so many levels. I never comment on posts, but had to tell you how much you are appreciated by me and so many others. I know God will use this to grow you even closer to Him. Thank you for being a light for Jesus and for all you do for us!

  • Carolyn says:

    Crystal, your blog has been an enormous encouragement over the years. There will always be those who will see everything through the negativity filter with which they view their own lives. Misery loves company. I hope the majority of your comments are positive because I’m pretty sure the majority of your readers enjoy what you post. Thank you for providing a wonderful resource of insight and encouragement!

  • Nancy Wilbur says:

    I am continually amazed how mean spirited people can be. I was always taught if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all! If people don’t like what you write, they can delete it without negative comments……let it go!

    I sincerely hope you let your “friend” know you don’t need hypocrisy in your life. Toxic behavior is better ignored.

    Bless you and I’m glad you didn’t give in to the vocal minority.

  • Tiffany Bell says:

    About 3 1/2 year ago, I began reading your blog. I am so glad that Your family and God surrounded you and encouraged you in that tough time as you have been an amazing blessing to our family! Thank you for being authentic and through your example paving the way for others to do the same!

  • Andy Traub says:

    And we will all be better off because of it. He did not give us a spirit of fear! Proud of you friend.

  • Christina says:

    Hi Crystal I first started following you around the time you wrote money saving mom budget book. You have helped me and encouraged me so much. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I’m working on speaking my heart and mind it’s hard because I’m used to stuffing it all in, but I’m ready to change!

  • Sarah says:

    I’ve never commented on your blog, but I’ve been a reader for several years. I’ve learned so much about living simply and frugally from reading your blog and I just wanted to say thanks for the encouragement you provide. I also love reading your personal posts! Be encouraged that though there may be people who attack, many of your readers appreciate you and your writing. 🙂

  • Shannon says:

    I love your blog and your stories! I understand the fear of pleasing people I have the same fear. I always look to the bible for encouragement and try to think positive. You are a awesome person and you help more people than you probably even know.

  • Michele says:

    Thank you for bravery and your encouragement!!

  • Jennifer says:

    I am so thankful for the knowledge God has trusted you with to share upon His people. I’ve laughed cried and even felt guilty about things in my own life, all the while reading your “journey” and wisdom. Thank you for being able to listen to what God has called for you to do! Love you so much…Jennifer from NC

  • Heather Golden Horton says:

    I have read your blog for years and love it. You inspire me and help us all so much. I am so glad you shared this post. As a minister’s wife, I have been down a similar road and it made me want to give up. It feels awful to be criticized…and slandered, especially by an anonymous source. May God bring healing to us all and all sorts of BRAVE!

  • Amanda (nee Mack) says:

    I read this and winced. I know exactly what you are talking about… only because I read the same website after someone accused ME of being the one writing about you like that! I said there was no way it could be me, that I didn’t even go to the same events that you and she went to, but was told that it looked like me in one of the pictures (?!). I’m glad you found out who it was! And that it was *not* me! 😉

  • Chris Turner says:

    Krystal, I enjoy your blog so much, and find myself recommending it often. It is the ONE blog I recommend for deals, freezer cooking, and tips/ideas. Just know that trying to please everyone doesn’t really please anyone, especially yourself. A dear friend, and pastor, often says “You have nothing to prove and only one Person to please.” Thank you so much for what you do.

  • Tonya Stoddard says:

    Amen sister!!!

    I read your blog because you inspire me to be a better mom, make better financial decisions, and because you love God.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart :). Never be afraid to be true!!!

  • maria says:

    I think nasty comments online are alot like road rage – most of those people wouldn’t dare behave that way if they were face to face with you. Sad, that some have to take their anger out on others. Obviously, you have done nothing to merit this, but truth is that it happens! Pray for them and when God gives you a time, speak the truth in love. When it happens again, a grain of salt and then again, pray for them and speak the truth in love. Some times it’s best not to say anything at all. The Lord will show! I will need to take my own advice! I for one am so encouraged by your response to be authentic, it has inspired me to do it more so too!! Thank you, and God bless you and yours!!

  • DaTasha says:

    I am sorry that this happened to you but I am glad that you were able to see that this is merely a stepping stone in life. As we grow older, you would think that the friendships you develop would be warming, loving and freeing. You want to see the best in people. Sometimes a loving prayer is the only thing you can do. Please to stay encourage. I love your website. I am not a mom yet but your ideas and encouragement keep me in the right direction.

  • Cathy B. says:

    Just read your post on the people-pleasing and the naysayers. I once came across this quote: The horn that toots the loudest is the one that’s in the fog.
    The people who feel compelled to criticize and talk about you behind your back are simply jealous of your success. And…they are IN THE FOG. Ignore and keep writing. They don’t have enough to keep them busy or they wouldn’t have time to criticize. Keep using your gifts. They are helping me tremendously!

  • Mary says:

    I, too, had noticed less personal stuff in your blog and I really missed that. I loved hearing about your family and the things you were doing. I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with Silas. Thank you for writing the post today. I am sorry for the hurt. As with Joseph in Genesis, what these two people meant for harm, God meant for good. He can turn this around and into an opportunity to bless many. You keep up the good work and know that you are loved!

  • Jennifer says:

    Go Crystal – thank you Sweetie!!! I only discovered your blog & website in January of this year and I’ve enjoyed following it ever since. I (sadly) am not a Mum, but looove your posts, and find tremenduously helpful ideas on your website…

    I’m so pleased with your fairly recent enormous success – I know that many, many years of very hard work (and heartaches!) are behind it. All the best to you, your family and your team xxx

  • Yes!!! If everyone wasn’t sleeping in my house right now I’d be clapping for you!! God will use all of this for good just like Mary and other commenters said above. And personally this post was something I really needed to read today…so, thank you.

  • jen says:

    Proud of you, keep on blogging!!

  • Rachel says:

    I have two blogs that I write – not for profit just for chronicling our life, but I always convince myself that no one wants to read our stories (really it’s that I am afraid people are going to make fun of me) so I don’t write the way that I want too. I have read books that you have suggested, made goal sheets, I was on your book launch reading group, I have worked on DIY projects that might not have ever tackled if it hadn’t been for your blog. You have been my friend from afar even though I have never met you. Thank you

  • Way to go Crystal! So glad you overcame this hurdle. And I’m sure you’re so thankful for the people in your life who did encourage you.
    Thanks for sharing! I always appreciate your posts. 🙂
    Have a blessed day!

  • Lilysyang says:

    I am a long time follower, infrequent commenter. You taught me about being a better shopper and keeper of the house. You introduced me to Pioneer Woman. You have been a wonderful guide. Thank you for everything. Don’t let the bums get you down. Keep on being YOU.

  • Nanette Ashmore says:

    The opposite of fear is faith. When I start reacting or acting out of fear, I say aloud…the opposite of fear is faith, I chose faith. Thanks for being open, and trusting that what you do is worth doing! I often read your posts and blogs and find them very helpful, and appropriate!

  • Lor Alessi says:

    Thank you for your courage to be transparent and real. It’s a scarey thing to do, I know from experience,but I want you to know that your transparency and sharing “real” life with me is what keeps me coming back to your blog daily. The deals are nice but lots of other sites have those. Other sites do not have your genuine-ness and openness and your sweet spirit speaking into my life. Thank you for all you do.

  • Chelsea says:

    I always wondered if you knew about that forum. There were a few times I thought of asking you, but I couldn’t stand telling your “friends” said such hurtful things.

    I’m sorry you deal with critics and fake facades. When I was regularly blogging, I dealt with it on a much smaller scale, and it still stings. I hope opening up in this way makes you realize how loved and cherished you are.

    I’m so proud of you for posting this. Thank you for continuing to shine in the darkness!

  • Kathy says:

    Hi Crystal. Thanks for your honesty. Unfortunately the internet has provided a way for folks to criticize and not have to face the consequences of their comments, face to face. A certain degree of anonymity encourages folks to say what they would never likely say face to face. These two people have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were never truly your friends. So, in one way you have not been hurt by friends but by imposters. And while it is very painful, it is better that you found out now than later when perhaps the hurt could have been even greater or could have damaged your relationship with your family. I love your blog and wish you and your family all the best. And, though I know none of the people involved, I would be willing to bet jealousy is at the bottom of it all. It frequently is.May God richly Bless you and your family in all you do. And, thanks for the great blog. I too have missed the more personal touch your blog used to have.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Thank you. I really needed some encouragement today.

  • jenna says:

    This! Next thing, we’ll see you making your own freedom pose.. like, standing up on the couch like Tom Cruise, with arms in the air and head thrown back, screaming “YES!!!”… Please tell me you know what I’m talking about, haha!

  • Vanessa says:

    I’m so touched that you shared this w/ everyone! I had chills reading this as I can truly relate to you. I love reading your blog, getting to know you & your family & find it so sad people find and dwell on negativity. And even go as far as tearing others down! I’m so proud of you for not letting them beat you down, and now what an inspiration you are to so many! Thank you for sharing, so happy you’ve opened up. I really appreciate this!!!

  • Maria says:

    You go, Girl! I love your blog! Keep up the good work!

  • Rocketcitygirl says:

    Greetings < – your testimony reaches people in way no one else can! Thank you from a recovering cancer overcomer

  • Liz says:

    I’ve known about your blog for several years, and to be bluntly honest, it was the impersonal-ness that was somewhat of a turn-off for me. I could feel the guardedness of your posts, and would occasionally visit for a recipe but didn’t really commit to following you. I’m so excited for you!!!! I’m truly looking forward to your posts in the future, and getting to know you, my sweet sister, a little better. 😀

  • Nikki A says:

    I have been following your blog for almost 4 years now, and have enjoyed every bit of what you share no matter what the content. Your blog is such a blessing to mothers and women in general. There will always be critics, live your life and BE HAPPY! God bless!

  • Kristi Burks says:

    I rarely leave comments but I felt I had to today. I am so sorry that people feel they can comment negatively about your life. They have nothing positive in their life so they have to do something to feel better about their life. I thank you for all that you do. There have been days that were very low in my life and I read you blog and you have put in a quote or just said something that was so totally for me and it gave me just what I needed to pick myself up and carry on. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  • Audrey Tolle says:

    Crystal…I am so blessed that you will be sharing more of your family/personal/heart issues. I have missed that. I’m sure it takes really thick skin to run a blog of this magnitude, but you really do encourage so many people around the world. I’m sure it hurt deeply to have friends post such hateful comments and personal info in a public forum. I am finally reading the survival mode book and appreciate the “realness” of it. <3

  • Priyanthi Silva says:

    Hi Crystal,
    I enjoy reading your blog and I’ve found so many useful tips on it too. If a subject you post on doesn’t interest me, I don’t read it. Sometimes I’ve also gone through something you’ve posted about and I think she’s gone through it too. I do appreciate your honesty.
    People who just go through your blog to criticize are people who are unhappy and can only feel good about themselves by trying to make others look bad. You know who you are. The people who really love you know who you are. You are entitled to your opinions. Think about all the many of us who enjoy your blog and ignore the nasties.
    If I really disagree with something you say, maybe I’d comment on it but in a manner that is not hurtful. You have a right to think of things your way just as I have a right to mine. I have to respect your view.
    I really enjoy your blog. Keep going.
    God Bless and Protect you and yours.
    Priyanthi Silva (from Sri Lanka)

  • Cara says:

    Good for you! I don’t know why people can be so mean-spirited, and why we find it so hard to stand up for ourselves and who we are, but I’m happy to hear you are moving forward!

  • Lacey Callahan Walker says:

    That whole debacle still makes me sick, but you handled it so well, Crystal, that you brought light where there was darkness. Maybe some day those people will start living a life with good purpose, because of the example you set for them when they were so abusive and cruel toward you.

  • amity says:

    Crystal,

    For what it’s worth your blog has always been an encouragement and a blessing to me! I have been following you for years and introduced many people to your blog. I share the same philosophy on money as you do and enjoy website! xoxo

  • Terri says:

    I am a nanny to my two Granddaughters ages 7 and 2 and I am encouraged by you, use your information and share your information on a regular basis. I certainly wish I had all of this on-line information and ecouragement while I was raising my sons. You are doing a good thing and the devil doesn’t like it. He uses people…sometimes people disguised as friends to discourage and exstinguish those who are benefiting the kingdom of God. He is making noise via these critics to keep you focused on that instead of the task God has given you. Good for you for not giving in or giving up. Do not ever be discouraging in being who are you and sharing what God has laid on your hear…you are doing good. This Grandma thanks you!

  • Robyn says:

    Thank you for sharing this with us, Crystal. I know how painful it is when people who you thought you could trust stab you in the back.

    I applaud your courage, and am so encouraged by the journey that you are on. Thank you for keeping it real!

  • Sarah Hacker says:

    As I have observed you from afar for years, I have come to deeper respect and love for your ministry as I see your authenticity. First, so many women testified of the positive impact of Money Saving Mom. This really blessed my heart. To see such a servant heart full of transparency is so endearing. Thank you for sticking with this. Thank you for stepping in and serving others in such a tangible way ( coffee bars gone wild ;-). You are touching hearts… Including mine. Blessings, Sarah

  • I found your blog last year during a difficult time in my life. It was then that deciding to start a blog myself was born, and a lot of that decision was because you are so helpful to so many people. You encourage people on a daily basis by being your true and honest self, and I am striving to be the same on my blog by sharing my story with the intention of helping others that may be going through similar things. The one thing that I think about sometimes is how I will handle it when negative people start responding to my story. It’s always hoped that everyone will respond positively, but I know that will not be the case. There is a quote by Melanie Koulouris that I love and I have on the home page of my blog, and she says “Everyone has a story to tell, a lesson to teach, wisdom to share….Life is a beautiful masterpiece bound together by your experiences. Open up and share your story, become an inspiration for others. You can make a difference because you matter, you were created with purpose. Live your life with intention. Go out there and make a difference by being the difference.” I read this every day and it has given me the courage I need to go forward, along with things you have shared along the way. Not everyone wants to hear positive things, and I’m guessing when they do, it magnifies all of the negative things in their own lives. Despite that, I have to remember that there are many others who want to grow and learn and thrive when they are exposed to others that are going through things in life that they can relate to. Those are the people that I want to reach, and those are the people that you are helping, too. Know that you have helped so many people and encourage them on a daily basis, and there are many others out there, including me, that gain a tremendous amount because of it. Thank you for all you do, and thank you for giving me the courage to start my own blog 🙂

  • chelsea says:

    Woo hoo Crystal! Welcome back!
    But seriously, I for one am thrilled to see you getting back to your roots. This is what sets you apart from the average personal finance blog, in my opinion.

  • Amber Woods says:

    Crystal, your blog is my escape time from the craziness of a 2 year old and 3 month old. I don’t have time to watch a movie or read a book or magazine to have a little down time, but I do usually have a few minutes to read your blog and catch up. My favorite posts are the ones about your family and your normal everyday routine. It encourages me to see the reality that not everyone lives a movie star life as Facebook would sometimes have us believe:) Thank you for sharing your life and your faith, both are greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

  • Stephanie says:

    Crystal,

    I so badly wish that these unkind things never happened to you. I cannot under any circumstance understand why people feel the need to say such mean things hiding behind a screen. I only know about you what I read on your blog. But in my eyes you seem to be an absolute awesome mom, wife christian, and blogger! What I love the most about your blog are your personal posts. Because they are REAL. Real weaknesses and real strengths. You make me not want to give up when I feel like I’ve failed at being a mama, Christian, wife, friend, healthy eater, etc… You encourage me! Thank you for sharing your life. Thank you for being real.

  • Julie says:

    Crystal, thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been attacked anonymously a few times in the past few months. Not really publicly, but through private messages. I’m still not sure who it is, but I have some “suspects”. Mainly some people in my family. I’m broken hearted because I thought these people loved me, but they’ve insulted me as a mother. It doesn’t matter that the insults were unfounded, but when you feel insecure and people start picking at that insecurity it makes it hard. It wasn’t discipling or even constructive criticism, it was flat out rude and ridiculous. It made it so I don’t trust people now. I’m always second guessing what I say to people outside of our home. I find myself dwelling on it some days despite my husband, my mom, and some close friends admonishing me to ignore it because it’s untrue. I’m so thankful to read your story and how you are handling it.

  • Audrey says:

    Crystal, I have been following your blog for almost 4 years, and because of its comprehensiveness, focus on savings and deals, and your great spirit behind it, it is the only one I follow. I have always appreciated your authenticity, your thoughtful striving to improve your life in every way and to do what is best for your family, and to freely share it all with us. Actually that last bit is the clincher. You could do all the things you do on your own, and that would be great and beneficial for your family. But your willingness to share it with all of us so that it we could get something beneficial out of it too, takes it to the next level. It takes great courage, selflessness and caring to do so. I am amazed at all you do and have learned quite a bit from you. Do I strive to emulate you? No. I take what works best for me and my family. And I believe that is exactly what you would desire from anyone who reads your blog. Your blog has presented me with so many great ideas for my family and home, as well as great opportunities for savings and better quality of life. If you were to stop blogging, as a sensitive person, I would totally understand and wouldn’t think negatively about it. But, because you are willing to continue through the storms, shows your character and that you are not doing this for yourself. In conclusion, I am thankful for your blog and encourage you with it, as my life, and I am sure countless others, has greatly been contributed to by it.

  • Sherry says:

    I’m sorry you have been discouraged. I should have written sooner to tell you that your blog is one of my favorites! It encourages me to not “settle” in my life, but to continue growing! Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • Anne says:

    You go, Crystal! You are such an inspiration. Please keep spreading the Good News in your actions. It is the real you that your loyal readers, family, and God loves.

    I am sure other people have reminded you that those women’s actions speak volumes about them and little about you. (I am assuming they are women.) If they had more maturity, they would have been able to address their issues/frustrations/criticisms with you like real friends.

  • Crystal, I’m sorry that happened. I can totally identify. Not in the arena of blogging, but it happened to me in ministry. It hurt and I wanted to walk away from people for good too. It definitely takes a season of healing and comfort from the Lord to be able to move on. I am glad you didn’t quit. You are such a light to so many, and your transparency is powerful. I pray God will continue to give you those intimate friends that you can trust no matter what. 🙂

  • Janet Archer says:

    Good for you! Keep writing and we will keep reading!

  • Sarah says:

    I know somewhat how you felt – even though it’s not so-called friends talking about me, when I first discovered that site, it made me want to stop blogging too. I couldn’t believe what they were saying when they didn’t even know us personally! It’s actually amazing to me that people have time in their lives to keep up with blogs that they disagree with and hate so much.
    Now I view it as somewhat of a badge of honor to be on there! Ha!

    Keep on blogging, I’ve loved your personal posts lately!

    • One thing I have learned through this experience and others is that you definitely can’t believe everything you read on the internet. It’s made me a lot more cautious to make sure to verify facts and not just take something at face-value when it comes to what is said about individuals or organizations on the internet.

  • Michelle says:

    As a pastor’s wife, I’ve gotten plenty of advice as to how much to share, and how open to be with other women. There have been women who have actually told me NOT to have close friendships with other women in our church. I’m sure that’s based out of some hurt they’ve experienced, but oh, the blessings that come from being vulnerable and available. My true worth and security comes from being in Christ.Yes, I’ve had people wound my deeply too, but I’ve also experienced the beauty of having true “soul sisters” in my life as well. Thanks for putting yourself out there, Crystal! Your blog is a real blessing to me 🙂

    • “…oh, the blessings that come from being vulnerable and available. My true worth and security comes from being in Christ.”

      YES! This.

      It changes how you view everything when you claim the truth of who you are in Christ, doesn’t it? Such a beautiful thing!

  • Sandra Dixon says:

    I am sorry that this has been done to you. I cannot imagine what you could have been so badly critized for. I have never read anything on your blog that I felt negative toward. please keep up the good work. I certainly enjoy it.

  • Jennifer says:

    I am so sorry you went thru that! So many people find their pleasure in tearing down others….and those people do not deserve to be a part of your life! I just found your blog a few months ago, but LOVE LOVE LOVE it! You are a very smart and inspirational woman and I look forward to seeing what you have to say every day! I am almost embarrassed to admit how much time I spend looking thru your articles and recipes! Keep up the great work and don’t worry about the haters, they are not worth your mental energy!

  • Stephanie says:

    So glad you were able to draw from that experience and grow. You said it perfectly: some people are so dissatisfied with their own lives that they choose to pick others apart. It is sad, but at least you were able to rise above them and their actions. Please know that even if they don’t enjoy your posts so many other readers do! I personally log on every day to see what you are coming up with. This is one of my “go-to blogs”. You have opened me up to new ideas and ways of doing things around my home and with my husband and children. Keep up the good work! Lots of readers love your efforts and your vision for what this blog can be!

  • wow sorry to hear about your “friends” Crystal! Glad you were able to recover and become a stronger person.
    Nowadays when someone is talking bad about me, I just tell myself that they are just jealous plus they have different view of life.
    Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Jamie says:

    I am so glad you were able to overcome those problems and continue blogging. Yours is the only blog that I visit on a very regular basis and it has blessed me and my family many times over. There is definitely a large population of people who are always going to complain and take joy in being negative no matter what. Thanks for having the courage to overcome those attitudes and being an example for the rest of us.

  • FrugalMama says:

    Crystal, I am so sorry that you were hurt and betrayed by your friends. That kind of pain goes deep. I’m thankful that it has brought you to a better place, though, and that God has used it to make you stronger and wiser. I love your personal posts and am always encouraged by them!

  • Jenn says:

    Wow, just finished talking to my children about pleasing the Lord, and not people! I know this is especially hard for some (like my husband). Sorry for what you went through, but glad you are moving past it. I love your blog and enjoy anything personal you share (especially about parenting). You have challenged and inspired me many times!

  • Julie says:

    What ever happened to…”.If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything!”””? Debates are good to have as long as everyone is respectful…but to criticize???? That is just hurtful!

  • Cathy says:

    I love your blog and your personal posts. I’m glad you are going to start posting again!

  • Sumitha says:

    Through my own journey, I’m beginning to see just how much courage it takes to do what you do! I’ve always admired your values, attitude and strength in everything you share, but now I have even more respect and am even more grateful. Thank you. I hope you never, ever give up – for your own sake as well as for all of us.

  • Christine says:

    Crystal, I admire the honesty and strength you have shown. I have been in a similar situation where people I thought were my friends turned out to be anything but. It is painful; you start questioning your own judgement. How could you have been so wrong? It is hard to get past, but you are doing great. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog, and literally check my email every morning to see what you have posted. I have gotten so many good ideas from you. Thank you for all you have written/ done!!!

  • Cindy says:

    Hi Crystal, I’m a fairly new reader of your blog, and have just starting blogging this year. Thank you for your courage and frankness in this post and for the wonderful things you are doing here. And what amazing testimonies to your character and your blog in all the comments here! Press on, with blessings for even more success.

  • FarmerGirl says:

    Crystal,
    I can understand the pain that you talk about. As a pastor’s wife, I have had this happen to me. People who I thought were friends used our relationship to hurt and destroy. It is one of the most painful things I have experienced in my life. In one setting, it almost cost the lives of my family, literally.

    You have made the right choice to not live in fear. To move forward with boldness. To no longer be a people-pleaser. I realized long ago, we can never please everyone. And that is not what we are called to do as Christians.

    My experiences also taught me that my responsibility was to make sure I harbored no grudge against those who betrayed me. I had to forgive them for what they did to me and my family. I didn’t want my feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal to come between me and my Saviour. That doesn’t mean I will trust these individuals with my personal thoughts and feelings again. But it does mean that I can treat them with kindness and not hurt and anger.

    Keep on writing and blogging and sharing. You are called to be authentic and to live a fearless life. Thank you for being who you are and willing to give us a peek into your life.

  • Rachel says:

    Crystal, I’m thankful for you and for your ministry. Thanks for following Gods leading and not letting others hold you back!

  • Ann says:

    When I found your blog, I was in a crisis. I’ve been a pleaser and I’ve only ended up hurting myself. Finding my true self at 44 is an amazing journey. Keep up your great work!

  • Jessi says:

    I always tell my kids- it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks- except what Heavenly Father thinks! Chin up.

  • Mindy says:

    I am so sorry to hear of this regarding your “so callled friends”. Unfornately for those of us who have dealt with this in our lives become more guarded, untrusting of others and their underlying motives. And in time you relealize I have not said or done anything wrong except help, be loyal and a trusted friend, unconditional. Love your phrase “people pleaser”. When you reach this plato the world is yours for the taking. All that matters is you, family and your goals in life without worrying what others think and say. I love your blog and have been following you for many years. You are definately an inspiration to me and I am thankful for all your time, dedication and help through the years!

  • Diane says:

    Crystal, keep being real! You are a blessing to so many. I was shocked and angered way back when you were criticized for sharing the joy of paying cash for your home, and now I am shocked that anyone would do this to you. People fall short over and over. That is why we all need Christ! Continue to live for Him, and please share it with us. You are loved! Thanks for all you do!

  • Rea says:

    Crystal,

    I read your post last night and knew exactly what you were feeling. I had a best friend that was near and dear to my heart, we were like sisters and I never thought she had any ill will towards me. Unfortunately, I was wrong and realized that she was speaking out of both sides of her mouth and had many, many hurtful things to say about me behind my back but faked our friendship to my face – it was devastating.

    I am glad that you have been able to pick yourself up and hold your head high. It’s your blog and you should be able to write openly about whatever is on your mind. I love reading your blog and was inspired by my friends to start my own – which I am now in the process of doing. Those who have nothing kind to say don’t matter because they are jealous of others and unhappy with themselves and that’s not something anyone can “fix” for them.

    Cheers,
    Rea

  • Karen says:

    I rarely comment either, but I’d like to add my words of support and gratitude to you as well for your blog. I’ve gleaned many ideas from you and have enjoyed reading your more personal articles over the last few months. You are an example to me in your determination to forge ahead and not fear “man” though you have been hurt so much by cruel comments. Keep on!

  • I’m so sorry to hear about your experience with your “friends.” Although we’ve never met, you’ve helped me and encouraged me more than many of my own “friends” have. I appreciate all that you do, share, and inspire.

  • Karry says:

    Keep up your wonderful blog and great books. I have purchased both and follow you daily. You have no idea how you have given me great hope in my life, when I thought hope was gone. Thank you for doing what you do! Please do not ever let the harsh words of your critics steal the beauty of what you are accomplishing in this world!!!! :)))

  • Ann Marie says:

    I LOVE your blog, and have learned a lot – mostly from the times when you’ve been honest and discussed something you thought you “failed” at. It shows you are real just like the rest of us. The only one you need to please is our Lord, Jesus Christ! Keep blogging – you are a blessing.

  • Leigh says:

    Crystal,

    I am so glad that you posted this. I went through a similar situation on a much smaller scale. I was bullied by snarky, unhappy, pitiful people online.

    God showed me (after about 3 days of feeling sorry for myself and crying) that they were just very unhappy people who judged because deep down they hated themselves.

    With that being said, God helped me to not retaliate and let me tell you, I had some big arsenal in my pack.

    My dad told me later that he couldn’t have done it (if he were in a similar situation), it was not my strength, but God’s alone.

    Since then I have stopped adding friends on facebook and stayed online anonymously. It has taken 2 years to feel “normal” again when it comes to friendships and trusting other women. I have recently started reaching out to other women… yes, I am more cautious, but if someone doesn’t like me its OKAY. God loves me, my family loves me, I have wonderful children AND an amazing husband who truly love me. At the end of the day, that is good enough for me.

    I’m sure there will be more times when I will deal with this, some people just aren’t happy with anyone… but I feel like with God’s strength I can handle it.

  • Sissy Sweet says:

    Good for you, Crystal! Don’t let a few gossipers bring you down. Ignore the negativity and focus on the positive.

    You have changed my life, and the lives of many of your other readers. So keep doing what you’re doing, friend.

    ((Big Hugs))

  • Christina C. says:

    I want to ENCOURAGE you to be bold and heartfelt in what you write. Your blog is my favorite and its the only one I make a point to read each day. I have referred your blog to so many friends who also enjoy it and BENEFIT from reading it. I have learned so much from moneysavingmom. Thank you for making the sacrifice to share your life and your tidbits of wisdom with all of us readers! (applause)

  • Siobhan says:

    I recently started reading your blog. You are so inspiring…I am a people pleaser myself. I appreciate your honesty. Hope you keep posting 🙂

  • Monica says:

    Oh Crystal, how horrible that must have been for you. I have been reading your blog for years and have often wondered how the growth and success of MSM has affected you and your family. I knew that as much as it seems really wonderful, there must be a lot of challenges that go along with it. I never imagined that it would be your “friends” doing something so viciously mean. Praise God for your Mom and husband who encouraged you through that difficult time because you are doing wonderful work on this blog each and every day. This is your ministry and you are helping so many woman – I know you have helped me. Thank you for all you do. You continue to inspire me.

  • Cathy R. says:

    Thank God you have continued your blog. You really help so many people! I have always been a people-pleaser, fearing what people would think of me for just stating my views. You know what truly matters is our service and faithfulness to God first, our spouse, and then our children and others. Be encouraged, Crystal. Your blog is a ministry and has helped many women, myself included. You are doing a wonderful job of encouragement to homemakers, and how we can manage things frugally without losing our minds among other necessary things. LOL Thank you so much! I love you!

  • Nancy says:

    I can so relate! About a year ago someone I knew created fake IDs to leave me messages. It started with an anonymous message saying that because of my ignorance in not taking vitamins through my pregnancy my babies died… In my posts I had never mentioned rather I took vitamins or not but I didn’t always since my body didn’t handle them well. So it had to be someone I knew. My babies had genetic conditions which vitamins could not have prevented and so I knew this comment was intended to hurt and Satan was attacking my blogging. I really did have times where I shut down… But now I plan to keep going as time allows.

    • Nancy,

      I am so sorry you received those comments!

      People who think it’s okay to be mean are wrong. It’s not. Being a blogger doesn’t mean people should be mean to you, either.

      I just want to hug you. I am sorry for the loss of your babies.

      • Nancy says:

        Thank you. The way I see it now is, if someone feels the need to hurt others that way, they have some serious issues themselves. Also, I believe it could be jealousy of someone else’s gifts.. It is important that we all use our own gifts and not covet someone else’s.

  • Mindy says:

    Love your blog it’s one of the go to blogs I check every day because it’s real and honest and that’s the best part! Thank you because of you I have learned so much!

  • Denise says:

    I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I want you to know that I have been blessed by your writing, and especially your heart for the Lord. I don’t have time to read everything you write, but what I have seen of you has been such an encouragement. None of us is perfect, and you won’t be, either. That’s okay, because our righteousness comes from Christ, who lives perfectly in our place.
    This is also a reminder to me to not be overly critical of bloggers I disagree with. Bloggers are real people, and blogging is supposed to be a conversation.

  • You go, girl! I am also a blogger and feel like I have experienced your same emotions – you took the words right out of my mouth and heart. Because of discouragement and fear of criticism, I’ve been absent from the “blogosphere” for a few months. This gives me encouragement to get back out there and write!

  • Susan says:

    Oh Crystal. Curiosity got the best of me, and I googled to find out what this was all about. All I can say is OMG! I didn’t read much, but I read enough to understand how terribly hurt you had to have been. I hope you know, tho, that all that nastiness reflects badly on “them,” not on you.

    Cyber hugs!

  • Michelle says:

    Crystal, I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts today! A friend of mine and I were just talking this morning about all of the “haters” out there and what a shame it is! I completely agree with your comment about why can’t people just work on bettering their lives instead of ripping apart others! What a shame and just think of all of the energy they are wasting on doing so. I do not blog, but I read yours daily, as well as a few others. As a stay at home mom, I often find myself looking to your blog (and others) as a source of encouragement and motivation to find new ways of bettering myself as a mom, wife, and person. You have encouraged me many times… I am so thankful you did not stop blogging and very excited to read more of your personal posts in the future. I love knowing that other people experience the same things I go through on a daily basis! Your blog is an amazing way to feel “connected” to other moms! Thanks for doing what you do and don’t ever stop!!!

  • Tammy says:

    I’m personally so glad you didn’t give up blogging because I LOVE your blogs!! Frequently my friends and I joke that its like you know what we are talking about because we’ll have a conversation and an hour later get an email from you that is addressing exactly what we were just talking about! Keep up the great work, and know that for every hater who makes noise there are 1000 who love your posts and may not say anything. Thanks again and I look forward to continuing to read on!

  • I, for one, have been blessed time and time again by your blog. I have read it nonstop for about 5 years. It is so sad what those people did and actually acting in cowardice and deceit. I think it would do them well to examine their own life and actions instead of criticizing someone else. Again, I love your blog. My life is different than yours, but there is so much I can learn. Thank you!

  • Angela says:

    I’m very thankful that God used your husband and mom to encourage you to keep blogging. Thank you for sharing your life with us so that we can learn from what you’ve learned. You are very brave and inspiring!

  • I can’t believe anyone actually had bad stuff to say about you. I only know you as a blog buddy but you are awesome! People only pick on others to make themselves feel better, don’t ever let anyone rain on your parade, keep on marching to the beat of your own drum!

  • Sarah says:

    I live in New Zealand and just started reading your blog recently after picking up a copy of your book at the library:) I just wanted to say that I think you are inspirational and I have been putting so many of your ideas into practice in my own life – Thank you 🙂

  • Melissa says:

    “It’s exhausting and unfulfilling!” That really does sum it up. The first step is recognizing that fact. For me it has been a 6 year battle just to really “know” that as truth. Now I am working on not always being a people pleaser and being more vulnerable with others. How scary. But I am a child of God – the leader of the angels armies. What awesome backup to have!

  • Elena says:

    Yes! Congratulations to realizing this. People are in the image of God, but fallen, so when we are trying to be people pleasers, we are trying to please a fallen, imperfect and many times finicky crowd… what a waste of time!!

  • Elena says:

    People share what they are rich in. Those filled with hatred will share it, because it will come pouring out. Those who love will share love.

  • Christina Stewart says:

    Thank you for writing this! I think this is great encouragement for anyone who has been betrayed by a friend (I have felt that deep hurt and lost a good friendship because of this friend’s bad behavior). It is so true you go through a grieving/withdrawal process, but there is beauty in the healing and how God chooses to work and restore your heart through the process. I am much more prayerful and thoughtful about who I choose to pursue now and I have been so blessed by more authentic and encouraging friends. So thankful for your honesty!

  • Trisha says:

    Crystal,

    Thank you so much for your transparency. I have appreciated not only the info on your blog, but especially the personal tidbits you share from life. Your goals, your reading choices, your relationships and personal stories… all these challenge and encourage your readers daily. Your faith in the Lord and love of your family and friends shine brilliantly. Thank you for letting Christ shine through you! May the Lord continue to give you strength to persevere through difficult relationships and the criticism that blogging unfortunately brings.

    Keep shining for Jesus!! 🙂

  • Delynda says:

    Thank you for sharing this. That took bravery and more honesty than most of us could muster publicly. I’d be honored to know you in person and honored to call you a friend. Sounds like they are missing out 😉

  • Stephanie says:

    Reading this was as though you know me, my heart, and my experiences. Kudos to you.
    A friend shared this with me and told me it reminded her of me. I am going to follow your blog. Keep it real!!!
    – A Soul-Sister ♡

  • DeAna says:

    I have been a follower of your blog for quite a few years now, and thank you so much for pushing through the hard times & not giving up. You rock, Crystal!

  • Kate SDDS says:

    That is terrible! Jealousy makes people very ugly sometimes – I am so glad you didn’t quit – your blog is such a blessing to so many! Rock on!

    • Thank you, Kate! I’ve learned a lot from this experience that has challenged me in my own life to make sure I’m careful about my attitudes towards others. Truly, there’s nothing good that comes from jealousy and envy. 🙁

  • Kim says:

    I, too have experienced the friend/hater relationship (although not publicly). It took a long time and a lot of soul searching, but now I consider it a blessing because it showed me their true colors. I no longer share anything personal with them and if they try to probe for more information (which they always do), I politely change the subject. Keep doing what you’re doing because it helps so many people, and don’t let the haters discourage you. God Bless!

    • Situations like these definitely can teach you about discernment in relationships, can’t they? And while it’s hard, that can be such a good thing for future relationships! {Hugs!}

  • Krista Lusby says:

    I love your blog and your stories and advice. I’m glad you didn’t throw it in when faced with that negativity and those false friends. You are awesome and your blog is awesome! Keep going, keep going, keep going!!

  • Jessica Norris says:

    I love this, Crystal! I’m so glad you’re sharing more from your own life again. I’ve been a long-time reader (since 2008 I believe) and your blog is the only one I’ve consistently read for so long. I love your personal posts as much as your deal posts. It’s been awesome to see you become so successful, too. I’m so glad you didn’t let those people stop you from blogging – and there are tons of other people who are happy about that, too!

  • Debbie says:

    Crystal,
    I literally got teary when I read this today. How can people be so cruel and so self-focused?

    Well, let’s not give them the satisfaction of focusing on them too much, but instead, I will just tell you that I’ve crossed a lot of big bloggers off my list lately, because my brain is in information overload. Even in my own blog, I just want to get back to being real and quit trying to impress people with my knowledge.

    You are one that I have NOT crossed off! You offer such great information, but you’re so down to earth and real.

    I love your blog, your books, and the fact that your genuine motive comes through in how you do things.

    I’ve learned so much from you and I’m glad the kill-joys didn’t bring you so far down that you turned out the lights 🙂

    I appreciate you and I want your realness. It’s what keeps me coming back.

    God bless you!

  • Rachael says:

    I am so proud of you….this took a lot of courage to post what you went through. Keep on doing what you do – I believe there are more people out there that love and care for you, than don’t like you. It takes so much effort to be mean and hateful. It’s amazing to me that grown women can act like junior high kids. I’m glad your standing up for yourself and letting everyone know that you are a strong women – because you are! HUGS! 🙂

  • Stephanie says:

    The ongoing supportive comments are true testimony to how you affect others through your writing. God is good.

  • Stacey says:

    Thank you for your blog. I am a new reader(about 6 months now). My husband turned me on to your blog after I was laid off from my job. I love all of your personal stories and tips and ways to save money! I appreciate your hard work and love your site. My husband and I are Christians and just want to say thank you for all that you do. Keep living for the Lord and your faith is amazing!

  • story3girl says:

    You are a gift. And your authenticity makes you even more loveable. I’m so proud to be your reader. You are truly an inspiration.

  • Heather W. says:

    Crystal, this post spoke to my heart today. Something I’ve struggled with all my life and God is really bringing me to face. I fear what others think so much it is sometimes debilitating. I read yesterday in Beth Moore’s book A Heart Like His – “If a person fears God, he or she has no reason to fear anything else. On the other hand, if a person does not fear God, then fear becomes a way of life. David feared God so he did not fear Goliath. Saul did not fear God. Thus he feared the opinions of others, the enemy and even a loyal young boy who played the harp.” Thank you for sharing. You’re such an encouragement.

  • Kristie says:

    That is so disheartening, and I’m sure very painful for you! Sadly, what you experienced is part of a much bigger trend. People assume that bloggers (as well as reality TV stars) have perfect, easy lives. Some bloggers and TV stars have even helped to further that deception by carefully cherry-picking the information they disseminate. So then selfish people spend their time trying to dismantle that “perfect” world by writing explosive stories and starting ugly rumors, or just by writings snarky comments after articles or photos. While we will never rid the world of cruel people, you have actually helped to disarm those critics by sharing about the morning you slept in, or about the goals that were not accomplished in your week, or even your recent admission about how much you don’t like your nail biting habit. You stole their story. 🙂 In a photo-shopped world, your recent blogs have been very refreshing! We all need grace. We’re just ordinary people, learning lessons along the way and passing along what God is teaching us. I hope that your enemies will be pricked in their hearts for their unkindness.

  • You keep doing what you are doing! You have blessed many!

  • Mary says:

    Wow–that took a lot of courage to write! I hurt for you and your loss of those “friendships”. I’ve been there too, and struggled to remember that some people are damaged and need our prayers. I look so forward to reading your posts and feel so akin to you at times, it’s hard to imagine how anyone could post something negative here. Bless you, Crystal, and the work you do here!

  • Diana says:

    You are lovely. Your blog is lovely!
    Cyber-bullying and unkind words are unacceptable.
    Maybe am article on cyber-bullying would be good. The online world is relatively new. The younger generations are not aware of all the crime & bullying that can occur online, not everyone is…maybe it’s a good opportunity to empower your readers so they can be proactive & know what’s going on so they and their children don’t fall prey to this kind of stuff.

  • Priyanthi Silva says:

    Hi Crystal,
    The following is from Beth Moore’s book – Jesus the One and Only.

    those who look for reasons to accuse will undoubtedly find some. They quickly found basis to accuse Jesus. In my own life and ministry, I’ve accepted that, sooner or later, anyone looking hard enough to condemn will be accommodated. I really do believe that more people in the body of Christ are generally accepting than accusing, but one mean-spirited person is practically enough to ruin anyone’s day. Francis Frangipane wrote something so powerful on the subject, I immediately committed it to memory. He said of the Lord:
    To inoculate me from the praise of man, He baptized me in the criticism of man, until I died to control of man.

    Beloved, one thing I know for sure on this subject: nothing will squelch our efforts to seek the approval of others like not receiving it! Furthermore, those who approve one day can be the same ones who accuse the next day. I encourage you to break free from the traps set by approval and accusation . We are called to live our lives above reproach but expect it anyway. Christ was blameless yet was blamed continually. I think you can trust me on this one: blameless people are rarely those who cast blame.

    Moore, Beth (2013-02-14). Jesus, the One and Only (p. 106). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

    Hope this helps you.
    I enjoy your blog, appreciate your honesty and have gained a lot from it.
    Don’t worry about the few who criticize there are many many more who appreciate you.

    God Bless and Protect you and yours.

    Priyanthi.

  • Shanon says:

    I LOVE you. Thank you so much for your honesty. Many of us share the same insecurities… including nail biting, people pleasing, or whatever! And the Lord definitely has put you in a place to be a testimony and encouragement to those also struggling with it. Thank you so much.

  • Angel Butcher says:

    Thank you so much for your transparency. I too have had problems w/ friends & family members coming against me. (Guess Jesus was right, of course.) I truly have had to learn how to let it roll off my back as opposed to trying to fix something that I can’t. When others want to be “mean”, it’s hard not to want to make amends. I know I have to love them the way God loves them, but more importantly listen to what he is telling me to do or NOT do about the relationship. Time does heal all, but God is the one that brings the light. As much as I want to, it would be bad.

    Obviously this has sparked something in me. Thank you for letting me be transperant & start a healing process.

    I absolutely love your blog, please keep it up! I enjoy the personal as well as the myriads of tips that would probably lead to pulling out all my hair!

  • You are an inspiration in more ways than you know. I was honored to get to meet you and still feel honored that I was able to share some time with you for conversation over coffee and chocolate! You inspire me to really go after my dreams, even when they are taking much longer to accomplish than I would like. Even though we weren’t really close, you let me in during one of the hardest times in my life and encouraged me and gave me such a great example of grace. (I’m starting to cry as I write this). You are a beautiful person inside and out and I thank God for you! You are a true example of a living Christ (imperfections and all) because you let him shine through you. One of my favorite songs is “Glass” by Thompson Square because I love the line “We are shaped by the light we let through us.” Could not be more true of you. Keep following where Christ leads you and the result will always be beautiful, no matter how difficult the journey was! Much love and appreciation!

  • Jacki says:

    Wow! I guess I live by the words “Do unto others…” If an encouraging word cannot be said then it’s best left unsaid.

    Women need to learn to build each other up and not tear down. If we did this, women would be able to change inequalities, especially against women.

    I always would get encouraged when another woman came into the lab to work because it used to be for men only. I would give them a pep talk and we would get started on science. Root them on, encourage them, they may be the change you want in the world.

  • Naomi says:

    Sorry to hear this happened to you.
    I’ve only recently found your website in the last week and I am loving it! I can relate to you, as I am also a Christian and not the best at setting up the home creatively etc. But I’m also realising to appreciate the other gifts God has blessed me with.

    I have 3 small kids and despite my efforts in doing the housework I always feel unorganised and frustrated with all the mess.

    I’m on day 3 of the 4 weeks to a more organised home and it is already changing my life for the better! Thank you so much.

    I actually got teary reading some of your posts, blogs Etc. As I feel I have finally found someone that I can relate to and with the step by step process I know this is going to be a lifestyle change rather than a quick fix.

    I can’t thank you enough.

    God bless,
    Naomi

  • Camillia says:

    Hi there! I wanted to just say something that I have learned and continue to learn as I lay hurts at the foot of the cross….I can allow hurts and hurtful people do one of two things:make me bitter or better. Another thing that my husband reminded me of when I felt down trodden and unloved by those that should have loved me the most…he said,”Hurt people, hurt people.” That moved me to almost feel sorry for those that were doing the hurting and really moved me to compassion for them and to lift them in prayer to the only one that could truly heal them, me and the situation….Jesus.

    Isaiah 26:3

  • RaDonna Lanterman says:

    Those of us that love your blog posts and reading your material are so by the fact that Satan didn’t win. It takes strength and courage to walk with Christ. I guess that is why he is so generous to give it when we ask – He already knew this! I am sure it won’t be a surprise to you but many of us have been persecuted by people we thought were our friends. You are not alone and we appreciate you sharing with us. You really are a blessing to many of us!♥

  • Margaret says:

    Interesting. I actually stopped reading your blog for about a year or so as it was too much about sales/coupons, etc. I was interested more in your life, your thoughts, your frugal living, etc. I’m glad to read this and look forward to more thoughts on how you guys live your life. It is more interesting and inspirational than the other stuff! But you know, you can’t please everyone! 😉

  • Bev says:

    I read this the other day and saved it because I had to come comment. I went through almost the exact same thing a few years ago but I actually did close down my blog. I was attacked, there was rumors and all that you mentioned. I guess I just couldn’t bare it at the time and put my blog private to only me.

    I finally came to the place that you did and decided to not let anyone make me go cower in a corner and hide. I brought my blog back and it took me a while to build up the readership again.

    There are still rumors and I still get criticized by those thinking they are anonymous but I know who they are (most of the time). I wonder how people that know you can hide behind anonymity and say such cruel things – you realize they hate you and are only “nice” to you in person but secretly they are jealous.

    They are jealous that you are a successful blogger. They are jealous that you have a blessed life and you have so many talents. They are so jealous they are envious and if they can’t have what you have, they will attack you relentlessly to bring you down.

    Hang in there!! There will always be haters whenever you succeed at something in life – blogging just makes you a target. It goes with the territory as the saying goes. You aren’t alone! 😉

  • Ashley says:

    Thank you for giving me the pick me up I needed today! I read this three times in the last two days to remind myself to invest in relationships that matter!

  • Jess PB says:

    This happened to me, a little over 2 years ago. Someone I was very close to suddenly turned away from me, began to criticize me to others, mock my parenting style, etc. It was hurtful and caught me off guard, and in some ways I’m still recovering. But in truth, I have begun to examine that person, and view her relationships with others in addition to me. WhenI realized that she has a trail of burned bridges behind her, while I have just that one, it enabled me to let go a bit. Sometimes things that people come at us with are rally just about what is broken in them. It doesn’t stop me from feeling confused about that particular attack, but it does give me perspective. Hope that helps you, too!

  • Erin says:

    Dear Crystal,

    I want to thank you for your work on the blog and all your business ventures. I really enjoy your posts, helpful tips and encouragement. I’ve thought of attempting a blog myself but this idea of personal/public/personal/business issues lumped together terrifies me. I’ve had my share of “trolls” with another online business and it was brutal. Thanks for this post, and thanks for your bravery. Your vulnerability makes you even more endearing to us all! It helps us know you’re not perfect and we don’t need to be perfect either.

  • Cheri Thompson says:

    So glad you didn’t quit. You have been such a blessing to us because we’ve watched your growth both personally and spiritually. Remember to keep this thread for those future days that will try to drag you back to fear. You are paving the way for so many, that’s why it’s so hard. I pray our gracious God continues to bless you to bless so many others. Love you sis!

  • Kim McCulley says:

    Thank you for sharing. I’ve wanted to start a blog for several years now, but have been held back by my fear of conflict/mean people/cyber bullying. It’s one of my summer goals to just DO it and start a blog during summer break (I’m a preschool assistant).
    We’ll see if my courage holds. I commend you for your courage and transparency.

  • SusanL says:

    I’m in full agreement with you about the people-pleasing, it’s a dead-end road for sure. Whether you’re being your real honest self or not, there are always going to be people who like you and don’t like you. So, you might as well be your real self and have the real friends to go along with it!

    I love your blog, and I love Glennon’s Momastery blog also. I find them both to be positive, encouraging places with some sense of humor mixed in too! I appreciate that both of you have such a dedication to service in your lives.

    Thanks for all you do!! Susan

  • Lyndsay says:

    This blog started as a mere homemaking tool in my own residence. You’ve quickly turned into a person whose blog has so greatly touched me deeply with your Christian faith, honesty and courage. Remember if He is with us who is against us? I long for the day we meet, if not this side of Heaven, then at His gates!

  • Eliza says:

    Wow–how timely. I know this post is a year old, but I am in the midst of reading Carry On Warrior too, and dealing with the bondage of people pleasing! I have been debating whether on not to return to an amazing ministry because I have been so hurt by people that are a part of this ministry with me.
    Like you Crystal, I am ALSO realizing the desire to shut down my calling, to run and hide and not participate in ministry is a direct result of fear. Glennon says the opposite of fear isn’t hate, but LOVE! Wow. And I thought I was loving people by being so desperate in my attempts to please them, but I wasn’t, I was fearing them. I’m also doing the online Anything study by Jennie Allen, and she says the opposite of fear is faith. So if I am ensnared by fear, it is because I don’t have FAITH. So pleasing people is directly a result of my lack of faith and fear. Jennie quotes Tim Keller and says “if you love anything more than God, even though you believe in God, if there is anything in your life that is more important to your own identity or significance than God, then that is a false god and it is power in your life.” So I have set up these people around me that I am trying to please as gods! People pleasing means that people are my idol!! So this morning I confessed my sin of worshiping people, and asked God to free me from this bondage, because I know I am personally incapable of removing my shackles. I am already tasting such sweet freedom even today in my interactions with others. Praise God!! To Him be the glory!!!

  • Gail says:

    You are not alone. <3 You are a courageous woman. Keep on keeping on.

  • Havilah says:

    Thank you for this encouraging post <3 I admin for a FB group and sometimes it's really hard and I am always trying to please everyone. Thank you for the perspective and honesty. The only one we strive to please should be Jesus and to listen to him above all the other voices. Blessings <3

  • amanda says:

    When harsh words have been said about me or my family. It hurts. I always try to ask myself if there is any particle of truth in their words..if there is I take the good & throw out the trash. (Even though the intent was to harm me) People can be ruthless & say the meanest things & even fabricate stories..but that just shows THEIR heart issues. I’m so glad that you are choosing not to make their heart issues yours. There was a time when I wish I would have followed my own advice…instead I made their heart issues mine. I fell into depression & suffered from anxiety, reading Breaking Intimidation by John Bevere along with God’s grace set me free. Thanks for having the courage to share your life. Your posts always encourage me.

  • Carol says:

    I love reading your blog!! I love your pictures and your stories and advice!!! I read every single thing you post!!

  • Wow, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That sounds really tough. Thanks for sharing. I am so glad you didn’t quit blogging. You have been such a huge blessing to me, and I know countless other women. Thank you for your ministry. I’ve learned so much from you!!!

    I love reading your personal post and love how open and genuine you are. I’ve been watching your periscopes and I’ve loved getting to know you better! I wish you did live back in Kansas (that’s where I live!!).

  • Thank you for this post. I happened to be reading your current post that had a link to this post about being a people pleaser. This post has touched me because I feel the same exact way. With me, you see what you get. I feel like people take advantage. It feels like I can’t be myself because of what will everyone else think. But my goal in 2016 is to live my life the way I want to and not to care what people think.

  • Paige says:

    I am so glad you have persevered and have continued on with your blog. I draw inspiration from you; and admire how you handle your demands in life, especially when you have found much success. The true battle is how you handle yourself when you made it to the top. Even though I don’t know you, you seem so solid and a very considerate of others. I wish I was more driven like you are. That is why I love reading your posts. Keep it up and take care of yourself. Like you, I am trying to have more Rest in my life. However, being a mom(5 kids) it seems like it is almost impossible. But I am not giving up!!!

  • SAL says:

    Thoughout my life I have experienced not being accepted. My parents are biracial, I’m shy, I don’t speak a lot because of a slight stutter, etc., but I am comforted in knowing that, even if no one else sees that I have any value (a waste of space), I know God doesn’t make mistakes.

    I find that my challenges have actually made life a little easier. I’ve learned that I only have to be true to myself, knowing that He knows I am true, honest, a good person, etc. That is all that really matters.

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