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Shared Dec 27, 2014 comment

5 FREE Budgeting Resources for 2015

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 27, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Want to get your finances in order in 2015? Here are some free resources to help you get started.

Download a free copy of Dave Ramsey’s Guide to Budgeting.

Set up a free online Mint.com account to track your income and outgo and stick with your budget.

Create a budget for the year and calculate the difference between your budgeted and actual expenses with this free Yearly Budget Calculator from Vertex42.

Work out a proposed household budget with this Household Budget Worksheet from Kiplinger.

Budge Tracker

Get out and stay out of debt with the free BudgetTracker.com.

Are there any free online budgeting tools you use not included in this list? Please let us know in the comments.

Shared Dec 26, 2014 comment

The Year in Review: Top 10 posts, lots of blogging & family changes, + some runner-up posts

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 26, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s been a big year for our family — with lots of changes, lots of new experiences, lots of goodbyes, and lots of hellos. We’ve grown as a family, our marriage has grown, this blog has grown, and I’ve grown a lot as a person.

I spent a few hours today going back through all of the content pieces I posted this past year and picking out the top 10 posts. It was quite a walk down memory lane to go through these and remember the highs and lows of this year and to see how I’ve grown in my openness and authenticity this past year…

The Top 10 Posts From 2014

1. How Do You Find Good Friends — this post on my journey from feeling lonely and not good enough to cultivating some amazing real-life relationships sparked a flood of comments and emails from people who are also desperately hoping for deep relationship. If you struggle to find and maintain good friendships, be sure to read this post.

2. 5 Keys to Have a Strong Marriage — Even During the Storms of Life — this post was written after we experienced a rough, rough few months in our marriage after we moved to TN. The principles in this post have carried us through many a storm of life and helped us to stick together in the midst of it. If you need some encouragement or ideas to strengthen your marriage or are just going through a rocky patch, be sure to read this post.

3. My Nail-Biting Habit, Shame, and What I’m Learning About Authenticity — this post was hard for me to write since it was so personal and putting myself “out there”. The response of encouragement and “I struggle with that, too!” completely blew me away and encouraged me to continue to be really authentic in my writing.

4. We’re Headed to Nashville & Some Changes I’m Making on the Blog — I wrote this post as we were driving from Kansas to Nashville to make our big family move. This post was monumental for me as it was the day I decided to really change the way I’d been blogging and go back to my blogging roots.

I’m so grateful I made this change as it’s brought back so much passion and love for blogging for me. It’s been the best change and I’m so thankful to have you all along with me on this ride! And in case you missed it, here’s a post on why we moved to Nashville.

5. I’m Done With Being a People Pleaser — This post was a follow-up to my announcement on our moving to Nashville post that I was going to be going back to my roots as a blogger. In it, I opened up about why I had struggled to be open on my blog the past few years and what changed for me.

6. How I Stopped Yelling at My Kids & How It’s Changed Our Home — This post was one of my most-shared-posts ever. Apparently, I’m not the only one who struggles with yelling!

7. Let’s Stop Photoshopping Our Lives — I was a little embarrassed to share this post, but at the same time, I really want to be real and authentic on my blog. And well, this is the real deal. We certainly won’t be featured in Better Homes & Gardens or as Best Home on Pinterest, but that’s okay. 🙂

8. Why We More Than Doubled Our Grocery Budget — This was another post that I was sacred to push publish on. Honestly, I waited for weeks to write it because I had no idea how it would be received. But by and large, you all were incredibly supportive and you reminded me why I love you all so much!

9. This Crazy Journey I’ve Been on the Last 10 Years (and Yes, You Can Make Money Blogging) — I had so much fun writing this post and reminiscing over the last almost 10 years I’ve been blogging. If you’ve ever wanted if it’s possible to make money blogging, I think my story will encourage you.

10. Dear Mom Who Is So Tired of Living on a Tight Budget — If you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged about your budget as we head into 2015, this post is a must-read.

Runner-up posts that almost made this list:

What were YOUR favorite posts from 2014? I’d love to hear as I make plans for 2015.

Shared Dec 24, 2014 comment

Instead of Cursing the Darkness, Let’s Be the Light

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 24, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It might feel like you can’t do much, that you don’t have much to give, that you don’t have much to offer to world.

But you do. There is only one you. And the world needs you.

Love generously. Give of yourself. Take time to smile, to listen, to give a word of encouragement, to write that text, to pick up the phone and make that call, to ask forgiveness, to cheer instead of criticize, to pour into others.

There is a lot of heartache, hurt, and hard things in the world right now. Instead of cursing the darkness, lashing out in frustration, or getting frustrated over things we can’t change, let’s light our own little candle and hold it high. And then inspire others to also light their candles, too.

Let’s spark a revolution of light and hope. One small candle alone can’t produce much light, but collectively, if we each let our lights shine, we can make a huge difference.

Let’s be the light this Christmas!

Shared Dec 21, 2014 comment

One of the Most Important Gifts We Can Give Our Children

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 21, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

One of the greatest gifts in moving to Tennessee has been quickly finding a new church home. We’ve been challenged, inspired, uplifted, and spiritually fed each week through the preaching, as well as being blessed by the people and their warm hospitality and hearts for the Lord.

During the Christmas season, our church has been encouraging families to adopt a theme of “Less Under Our Tree, More For the World.”

While the adults in our church have been encouraged to give and make a difference, I’ve loved the strong emphasis they’ve placed upon encouraging the children to give, too. They have given the kids specific needs and ways that they can help with their coins and dollars.

These specific needs and dollar amounts have been a huge inspiration to our girls and they’ve been spending time doing chores, emptying their piggy banks, counting change, and soliciting donations from us for the special Global Christmas Offering on Sunday.

Earlier this week, I discovered this sign that they had put in our hallway as a reminder for us all to keep contributing any loose change this week.

As I’ve observed my girls being so passionate about finding ways they can contribute and impact other children around the world, it’s motivated me to look for ways to be more of a giver in my own life.

And Kathrynne and Kaitlynn’s desire to give is rubbing off on Silas, too.

Last week, I took the kids to the The Greatest Christmas event here in Nashville. Ann Voskamp was one of the main presenters, along with Ellie Holcomb and Amena Brown. This event was sponsored by Compassion, so halfway through, Ann shared about the opportunity to sponsor a child and how it could make such an impact.

When Ann finished sharing, my kids all looked at me, eager to do something about it. I quickly leaned over and reminded our kids about the girls we write notes to/support and the moms & babies we support through our CSP.

I want to be able to regularly write notes to our Compassion girls as I know this is so important to them, so we’ve opted to only sponsor two girls (plus our CSP) so that we could be more faithful about writing to them.

And honestly, I was feeling like that was enough. Or so I had told myself.

But then, 5-year-old Silas looks at me intently and said, “But what about the boys? We need to support the boys, too.”

I was speechless. There was no quick comeback for that plea.

So, I sat there for a moment and then said, “You’re right. We need to do something for the boys, too.”

I hesitated before I responded, “Would you like to pick a boy for us to sponsor?”

His eyes lit up and he excitedly responded “Yes!”

The next day, Silas and Jesse looked through all the children waiting to be sponsored on Compassion’s site and finally chose 6-year-old Gerald from the DR.

Silas instantly felt a connection to Gerald because they are almost the same age and they both love baseball. Watching his enthusiasm over making a difference in Gerald’s life reminds me that giving our children opportunities to be involved in impacting others’ lives is one of the greatest gifts we can pass on to them.

We don’t have much figured out as parents — other than that we have so much left to learn! — and every day, we struggle with attitude issues and character issues. There are days when it feels like nothing we are trying to teach or live before them is sticking.

But then there are moments like this past week, when we realize that they are watching and learning. And I’m so grateful for these hearts and their desires and willingness to have less under our tree so we can give more to the world.

If our kids can someday leave home knowing that there are a world of needs around them, that money will never buy happiness, that there is so much fulfillment that comes from giving, and that money is just a tool to be used to change lives, they will be well on their way to living contented, rich lives — no matter their income level or career.

Shared Dec 20, 2014 comment

Gretchen $49 Grocery Shopping Trip and Weekly Menu Plan

Published: by Gretchen on December 20, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Dillons

2 Dillons dozen Eggs – $1.25 each

1 gallon Dillons Milk – $3.09

2 Vidal Sassoon Hair Styling Cream – Marked down to $2.24 each, used 2 $2/1 coupon from the 12/7 RedPlum insert – $0.24 each after coupons

4 cans Del Monte Green Beans – $0.50 each, used $0.40/4 coupon from the 11/9 SmartSource insert – $0.40 each after coupon

1 Frosted Flakes – $2.99 (A request from my husband)

1 loaf Nature Valley Bread – $2

1 Turkey Hill Ice Cream – $2.99, used $1/1 printable – $1.99 after coupon

2 Kroger Peanut Butter – $1.50 each (I’m planning to make Christmas cookies this week and will need lots of peanut butter!)

1 Kroger Cottage Cheese – $1.25

1 Bottom Round Steak – Marked down to $2.36

1 Bottom Round Steak – Marked down to $2.53

1 bag Kroger Baby Carrots – $1.69, used $0.40/1 mailer coupon – $1.29 after coupon

1 Romaine Lettuce – $0.99

1.25 lbs Tomatoes @ $1.99/lb – $2.49 (These are SO expensive right now!)

Total with tax: $30.74

Homeland

2 cans Lindsay Olives – $1 each, used $1/2 printable (doubled) – Free after coupon

2 Hefty Plates – $1.50 each, used $1/2 coupon from the 11/16 RedPlum insert (doubled) – $0.50 each after coupon

4 cans Del Monte Green Beans – $0.59 each, used $0.40/4 coupon from the 11/9 SmartSource insert (doubled) – $0.39 each after coupon

2 boxes Ritz Crackers – $1.88 each, used $0.75/2 coupon from the 12/14 SmartSource insert (doubled) – $1.13 each after coupon (I’m using these to make this AMAZING cookie recipe here.)

2 Kraft Cheese – $1.67 each

1 Farmland Bacon – $3.49, used $1/1 printable (doubled) – $1.49 after coupon

2 Keebler Crackers – $2, used $1/2 coupon from the 12/7 RedPlum insert (doubled) – $1 each after coupon

1 Chinet Napkins – $2, used $1/1 printable (doubled) – Free after coupon

1 Cucumber – $0.69

Total before coupons and sales: $53.92

Total with tax after coupons and sales: $14.91

Walmart

I also ran into Walmart to price match a couple of fruit items from other stores I wasn’t going to make it to this week.

2 Pineapple – $0.99 each (Price matched to Save A Lot)

1 (4 lbs) bag Navel Oranges – $1.68 (Price matched to Aldi)

Total with tax: $3.93

My husband also got a deer this week (yay!) and after processing it we now have over 40 lbs of ground venison and roasts in our freezer! 🙂 I will be substituting ground venison for ground beef in most recipes for the next several months.

Total for all grocery items: $49.58

Menu Plan for This Week

Breakfasts

Cereal, Oatmeal, Homemade Granola, Toast & Juice

Lunches

Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, Scrambled Eggs/Bacon & Fruit, Fruit/Veggies/Crackers/Cheese, Leftovers, Baked Potatoes

Dinners

Steak, Toast, Green Beans, Tossed Salad

Sour Cream Enchiladas, Steamed Broccoli, Fruit Salad

Spaghetti, Biscuits, Grapefruit

Homemade Pizza, Breadsticks, Steamed Carrots

Baked Chicken Drumsticks, Rolls, Fruit Salad

Sloppy Joes, Homemade French Fries, Veggies

Dinner with family (I’m bringing fruit.)

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Shared Dec 20, 2014 comment

What Everyone Really Wants for Christmas

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 20, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

How to Create a Christmas Budget -- and Stick With It!

Jon Acuff has a fantastic post up on The Gift Everyone Really Wants for Christmas. It’s a must-read. Here’s a snippet:

Your husband? He wants your presence.
Your wife? She wants your presence.
Your kids? They want your presence.
Your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your father, your mother, your friend, your neighbor? They all want your presence.
Every day this gift becomes rarer and rarer. Can you remember the last time you had a full conversation with someone’s face, not just their forehead as they stared at their phone? Can you remember the last time someone was “all there” not just partially there because interacting with you wasn’t enough to hold their full attention? I have to leave my phone in the car when we go to dinner parties or I will be physically present but absent in every other way possible as I engage with the phone instead of anyone else.
Don’t miss Christmas because you’re working or you’re lost in your phone.
This year, give someone that rarest gift of all, your presence. No one else can give them that.
It costs nothing, but it’s worth everything.

Read the full post.

Shared Dec 19, 2014 comment

Why We Simplified Christmas This Year

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

I was with a group of friends earlier this week and one of the gals asked me, “So, are you all ready for Christmas?”

She was referring to whether or not I have all our presents purchased and wrapped and whether the myriad of other Christmas details were taken care of.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. You see, we simplified Christmas so much this year that it almost feels like we cancelled Christmas.

Only we didn’t.

We just decided that the past few months have been full enough that instead of trying to pack our December full, we’d instead leave it really, really empty.

Our extended families had already asked if we could cut back and really simplify when it came to gifts this year and we’d already decided that we were going to keep our kids’ gifts super simple, too.

Then, we decided to just let the kids choose which Christmas decorations they wanted to put up. They opted for their little pink Christmas tree — which they had fun decorating themselves.

Next, we decided that we’d skip sending Christmas cards. And pretty soon, after we’d crossed off or nixed most of the usual Christmas obligations or activities we’d opted to do in the past, we were left with a wide open December.

And it has been bliss. Bliss, I tell you.

We’ve hung out as a family more. We’ve read together more. We’ve snuggled together and watched Christmas movies together. We’ve listened to a lot of Christmas music. We’ve gone to bed early. We’ve slept in. And we’ve not felt rushed or stressed or exhausted or frantic.

For the most part, December has been one of the calmest and quietest months we’ve had in ages. And it’s freed up much-needed space to just breathe, listen, love, rest, and enjoy being together.

Do I think families who have opted for lots of beautiful decorations, lots of Christmas shopping, and lots of festive activities are doing it wrong? Not in the least.

We’ve had years in the past where the Christmas season has been bustling with a lot of fun and where I found so much fulfillment in spending hours and hours picking out the perfect gifts to bless others. I don’t regret those years or those memories one bit.

But I also don’t regret having a quiet and simple Christmas this year. Sometimes, your soul just needs to take a step back and breathe.

Shared Dec 18, 2014 comment

One Fairly Big Blogging Change I’m Making in 2015

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 18, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Over the past month or so, I’ve quietly been thinking, mulling, pondering, talking with my husband, and considering blogging changes for 2015.

This past year has been one of much growth for me as a person and as a blogger. I’ve truly loved going back more to my roots. And I want to do even more of that in 2015.

One of the changes I’m really excited about for 2015 and have been slowly rolling out over the past few weeks, is that I’m planning to have themes for each day of the week starting the week after Christmas.

I thought through which posts were the most viewed and the most commented on from 2013 and 2014 plus considered which posts I most enjoyed writing. Based upon this information, I put together a list of themes I wanted to cover on a weekly basis and this is what I came up with:

Daily Blogging Themes for 2015

What I Cleaned/Organized This Week — This post will be on Monday and will be in the vein of the Clean Your Home for Christmas posts that you all really enjoyed. I’ll post a cleaning project in the morning and a Day in the Life sort of post in the evening to share the results of my cleaning plan. I thought this would be a great way to start off the week. And it would also help keep me accountable to keeping our home organized.
What I Cooked/Baked This Week — This will either be a post on a freezer cooking session, a new recipe, or a kitchen flop — something I’m really good at. 🙂
What I Read This Week — This will be a post recapping what I read/watched/listened to/read to the kids over the past week + mini reviews on each item. Plus, I’ll also share what I’m planning to read in the upcoming week.
How We Saved This Week — This post will share some simple ways we saved that week. From little to big ways, it will give you encouragement for living a frugal, simple, contented life.
What I Tried This Week — This post will either be a DIY idea I tried, something I sewed, or a new idea I tried implementing and whether it was successful or not.
What We Did This Week — This will be a peek into our week type of post. I’ve kind of fallen off the bandwagon in sharing these and I’ve missed it (and many of you have mentioned missing these, too).

And That’s Not All

That said, don’t worry: I still plan to share my goals for the week, regular Q&A posts, regular content pieces on a wide variety of subjects as I’m inspired to write them, regular guest posts, and, of course, plenty of deals and freebies and coupons and giveaways.

In addition, you can still count on finding a regular smattering of other eclectic posts on wide variety of topics — as you’ve likely come to expect (or be surprised by!) here.

My goal in having daily posting themes is that having a sort of set posting schedule will help keep me on track and will also provide variety around here, as well as a bit more predictability.

I know that I sometimes get side-tracked with topics I’m inspired to write on and I know some of you enjoy this, but others of you would love a little more consistency here. So I’m aiming for the best of both worlds with this!

As always, I can’t promise that I will follow this outline 100% perfectly every single day of every single week in 2015, because you know how life goes, but I’m really excited about this concept and am hopeful that it’s going to work well and be something that I’ll be able to follow through with. I’m at least going to do my best to stick with it!

I know I say it often, but I feel I can’t ever say it enough: Thank you for being on this blogging journey with me. I am grateful for each and every one of you and what you mean to me. Without you, there would be no reason to blog.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate all of you more than words can express and am excited for what 2015 has in store!

Coming Up After Christmas

After Christmas, I’ll be sharing my personal goals and some of our family goals for 2015, some thoughts on why I struggled with my goals in 2014, and what I learned from a year that was packed with a lot of new and stretching opportunities. Look for those posts soon!

What would YOU love to see more of here in 2015? What are some of your favorite types of posts? I’d love to know as I plan out posts for the beginning of the year!

photo credit

Shared Dec 18, 2014 comment

Simple Ways We Saved This Week: Creating art, using the library, puzzles, and why you shouldn’t put egg whites in your coffee!

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 18, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

The girls have been doing lots of painting and drawing this week — mostly abstract type art pieces. I love to see them being creative and having so much doing it!

Bonus: it’s such a frugal activity — especially when they use art supplies we already have on hand.

My sweet friend, Victoria, sent me this Craft Night in a Box — complete with a Starbucks gift card! It made for a free night of entertainment and relaxation for me.

I had so much fun working on it last night and am planning to finish my project tonight. If all goes well, I’ll share the finished results tomorrow.

{Isn’t this SUCH a great gift idea? If you know a crafter or a wanna-be crafter, this might be a great last-minute gift idea!}

The kids have been enjoying some books and this drawing DVD we got at the library last week. Have I mentioned how much we love the library?

If you haven’t visited yours recently, you should take some time to do so — it’s like having thousands of unexplored worlds and ideas at your fingertips, for free!

I’m loving reading this Lynn Austin novel I requested used from PaperBackSwap, one of my favorite frugal sources for books!

We’ve been making memories by working on this 2000-piece puzzle that we got from a White Elephant gift exchange earlier this week.

I got a $5 iTunes gift card with my points on Recyclebank. And I spent it to get some songs from one of my favorite movie soundtracks.

{Oh yes, I know, you might think it’s a little kooky that I love Frozen as much as I do. But here’s the thing: the songs not only make me so happy when I listen to them, but I can relate to many of the themes in the movie because of my own personal journey with being more authentic to my true self in the past few years. So yes, it might be juvenile, but I don’t really care! :)}

One way I didn’t save: I could not figure out why the “cream” I was pouring in my coffee this morning looked so watered down. And then I actually read the box. Yikes… Clearly, not all brain cells were firing this morning. Needless to say, I had to pour that coffee down the drain and brew a new cup!

How did YOU save this week?

Shared Dec 18, 2014 comment

Gretchen’s $8.70 Target Shopping Trip

Published: by Gretchen on December 18, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Target Shopping Trip

1 bag Flour – Marked down to $0.46 (This will come in handy with all the baking I’m planning to do the next 2 weeks!)

1 Up & Up Ammonia – $0.99 (I needed this to clean our garage floor and found Target had the cheapest price around town.)

2 Juicy Fruit Chews – $2.50 each, used 50% off Cartwheel coupon AND 2 $0.75/1 coupon from the 9/28 RedPlum insert – $0.50 each after coupons (Cheap stocking stuffers!)

1 Hello Kitty Necklace – $1 (I got this is a gift for a little girl I know and tried to use the 25% off Cartwheel coupon but it didn’t come off.)

1 box Oreo Mini – $3.50, used 50% off Cartwheel coupon AND $0.50/1 printable – $1.25 after coupons

1 Home Alone Complete Collection DVDs – $10, used 10% off Cartwheel coupon AND $5/1 printable – $4 after coupon (This is a great inexpensive Christmas gift that I was thrilled to find!)

Total before coupons and sales: $31.92

Total after coupons and sales: $8.70

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Shared Dec 18, 2014 comment

How I paid for Christmas this year by selling on Facebook Yard Sale Groups

Published: by MSM Team on December 18, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

logo_facebook

Traci emailed in this reader tip:

I had been planning a yard sale for months but this summer I decided I didn’t have enough or valuable enough things to make it worthwhile.

About this time, I joined a handful of Yard Sale groups on Facebook and bought a few things through them. After purchasing a few things from others and realizing how easy it was to post things for sale also, I decided to list a few items around the house.

Within minutes — even seconds, sometimes — I had people interested!

I started cleaning out closets and found so many other things that I wanted to get rid of. It felt great to purge and makes some money, too. Items that I have sold so far have been: adult and children’s clothing, toys, kitchen items, furniture, books, and movies.

Money is tight this Christmas, but by selling items on the Facebook Yard Sale Groups, I was able to pay cash for Christmas for my entire Christmas for my family and even had some extra money leftover!
The best advice that I have for selling on local Facebook Yard Sale groups would be consider the time and gas you are spending to buy or sell an item. If you have to travel far, this could be eating your profit or savings.

Post that others need to pick up in your city. I like to try to arrange pickups or drop-offs either in the morning or evening as to not interrupt my daily work, school, and family routine.

I also don’t have strangers come to my home. Remember safety first and it is best to meet in a public place like a shopping center or, even better, the local police department parking lot.

Also remember that people have busy lives and things happen that they have to reschedule a transaction sometimes. With that said, if someone is not being respectful of your time or you are not comfortable with something, don’t meet with them.

I am not stressing about Christmas this year and have not put one thing on a credit card that I will regret having to pay for later! -Traci

Shared Dec 17, 2014 comment

Let’s Stop Photoshopping Our Lives

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 17, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

“If most of us stopped to examine the expectations we set for ourselves, we would discover that our concept of perfection is so unrealistic that it can’t exist in one person. Instead, its a combination of pieces or snippets of what’s perceived as perfect. We don’t just want to be good at what we do, we want to be perfect–we want to edit together all the best clips of what we see to form our lives.”

Brene Brown, page 174, I Thought It Was Just Me But It Wasn’t

Last week, I brought you all into our home for the Clean Your Home for Christmas Challenge. I showed you my messy drawers, my unpacked suitcases, my untidy closets, and gave you a peek into real-life here.

Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how those posts would be taken. It’s always a little intimidating to press publish on posts that are far from perfect.

You know you’re going to disappoint some people. And as a recovering people-pleaser, that’s hard for me to voluntarily do.

But can I be really honest with you? Letting you into our home — to see the underbelly, as it were, of our lives — was so freeing for me.

Again and again, women commented and said, “Thank you for being real. It’s so good to know I’m not alone.”

You’re Not Alone

The messes, the fact that I don’t hit all my goals, the unkempt closets, the suitcases that don’t get unpacked for months… they all bear witness to the fact that I’m a work in progress just like you.

I hope that it encourages you to know that I don’t have my ducks in an alphabetical row. Far from it. I deal with have stuff bombs and dust bunnies and bad hair days, just like you.

In this online world beaming with Pinterest-staged pictures, it’s easy to start feeling like we’re the only one who has laundry piles, unwashed dishes, and sticky countertops.

We can be tempted to try to photoshop out the messes, slap on plastic smiles, and pretend we don’t have some ugly, messy, or struggles in our life and home.

But that’s not real life.

We All Have Struggles

I tried being a people-pleaser for years. And let me tell you this: not only is it completely exhausting, it’s lonely.

I’ve discovered it’s so much better to let people get to know me for exactly who I am — messes and struggles and all — than to wear myself out putting on an act in an effort to please someone.

Real, authentic relationships only happen when we’re willing to stop pretending and start being honest about our struggles.

No one — no matter how put together they may seem — is exempt from hard things.

We all have struggles. We all have burdens. We all have areas where we fall short. We all have literal and metaphorical “junk drawers” in our homes and lives.

Let’s stop photoshopping our lives and instead welcome people in right where we’re at. It won’t always be pretty, put-together, or Pinterest-worthy, but it will certainly be much more fulfilling and freeing!

Shared Dec 17, 2014 comment

5 Books I’ve Read Recently + 3 Books I Hope to Finish This Week

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 17, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared a post about the books I’m reading. In all honesty, that was because I was so focused on finishing my own manuscript I didn’t have much extra time to read other people’s books.

And oh how I’ve missed it! It’s been so good to get back to regular reading the past two weeks!

Books I’ve Finished Recently:

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life — Ya’ll. Do yourself a massive favor and go pre-order this book. It is SO good. Michele is one of the best communicators I’ve ever known. The way she paints pictures with words moves and inspires me as a writer. But her book is much more than beautiful word pictures; it’s the story of a woman finding hope and peace in the middle of messes, heartaches, and unexpected difficulties in life. Highly recommended.

Addicted to Busy — This wasn’t the best book I’ve ever read on white space and margin, and I sort of struggled through parts of it because it sort of felt like it was dragging on a little slowly (maybe that’s an indication that I’m addicted to busy? That I have a short attention span?? ;)), but overall, it made me think and examine my own life. Some of my thoughts on S-P-A-C-E were the result of things I mulled over after reading this book.

You and Me Forever — I thought this book had some valuable information in it, but honestly, I found it a little scattered in how it was laid out. While I’m not opposed at all to self-publishing a book (as this one was), I felt like it could have benefited from having some more editing for clarity, flow, and to further develop and strengthen the bones of the book. I still feel it’s really worth reading — especially if you want to have your mindset challenged on what constitutes a “Godly marriage”.

Me Before You — This was one of the most heart-breaking, compelling, and thought-provoking books I’ve read in a long time. I thought it was very well-written and found it hard to put down. In fact, I read the entire book in one day! Caveat: This book is not written from a Christian perspective, has quite a bit of language, and the plot line deals with suicide in a very raw form. I didn’t agree with the outcome of the book, but it made me dig deep and think hard… and books that do that are ones I feel are very worth my time.

Grace is Free: One Woman’s Journey from Fundamentalism, to Failure, to Faith — As someone who was deeply involved in what many would term “the fundamentalist movement” for a number of years of my life, I found this book’s title intriguing. One of our elder’s wives from our church in Kansas recommended it to me and I found it insightful, thought-provoking, and encouraging as I’m on a journey to walk by faith and live a live steeped in grace instead of being a performer, perfectionist, and people-pleaser.

Books I Hope to Finish This Week

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) — I’m really digging into this right now after setting it aside for a few weeks. Such thought-provoking stuff in it!

A Proper Pursuit — I finally started reading this one! It’s been on my to-read stack what feels like forever! I’m about eight chapters in and enjoying it.

The Best Yes — I’m working through this as part of my morning devotions and really finding it helpful as I think through my priorities and goals for 2014.

And maybe I’ll read a few others, too. We’ll see!

What have you read recently? What are you planning to read this week? Any good book recommendations for me?

Shared Dec 17, 2014 comment

Reader Tip: How I Got Two Free Photo Calendars Shipped From Shutterfly!

Published: by MSM Team on December 17, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Rachel emailed in this reader tip:

Last night I ordered two 8 x 11 photo calendars from Shutterfly for Christmas gifts for Grandparents. The cost was $42.97 including shipping. However, I had received a code from my Kelloggs rewards account in my email for a free calendar from Shutterfly.

I then checked my Pampers rewards account. They have two systems there–the one where you use points to get gifts and the “grow on” program where if you enter a diapers or wipes code at least once a month for so many months in a row you are given a free gift. My free gift was a Shutterfly calendar. They also gave me a free shipping code with that calendar!

Between the two calendar codes and the shipping code, my order was absolutely free!!!!

I thought some people may need to be reminded to check their rewards accounts before purchasing gifts. Even if you have at least 800 points in your Pampers Gifts to Grow account you can get a calendar for free and just pay shipping. Yay! -Rachel

Shared Dec 16, 2014 comment

How to Stop Being a Grumpy Mom

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 16, 2014 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

I was feeling frazzled and impatient this morning — ready to throw in the towel and lose my temper. Kind of ironic because I just wrote a post about finding more S-P-A-C-E yesterday, I know.

But I’m just keepin’ it real here. And it was one of those days.

We had a long day yesterday and were gone most of the day.

When we got home last night, we went pretty much straight to bed instead of staying up and going through the all mail and packages that had arrived (it was a pretty massive pile yesterday!), finishing cleaning up the kitchen, working on the laundry, or unloading the car that we’d spent a lot of time in yesterday while driving to various locations all over Nashville for different things.

This meant that I woke up feeling behind. Plus, for some reason, my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning and I overslept, too. Which didn’t help me feel any more calm.

To add to that, there were some attitude issues that flared right off the bat this morning and some little people who didn’t want to help or focus or do what they were asked to do.

This morning, of all mornings, of course. I said to myself in frustration.

By about 11:15 a.m., I had had it. It felt like nothing was going right, my anxiety level was rising, and I knew if I didn’t do something quickly, it was going to go from bad to worse really, really quickly.

I went out into the garage and called Jesse. He listened to me rattle on about how frustrated I was feeling. He encouraged me and by the end of the phone call, I was feeling somewhat better.

But I knew I needed to do something more, something tangible, to help turn the mood around in our home. Well, and mostly, to help turn around my mood. 🙂

So I called the kids into the living room, apologized for how I’d acted stressed this morning, and then told them we were going to pull out the puzzle we’d gotten at a White Elephant gift exchange the night before and we were going to stop what we were doing, set the timer, and work on the puzzle together until the timer went off.

They were all thrilled with this idea — especially because it involved mom working with them on something that they love to do.

And I was amazed, because within 5 minutes, not only did I feel so much calmer, but I was actually really enjoying being down on the floor working on the puzzle with them.

Being a fun mom instead of a grumpy mom always wins! 🙂

Related post: How I Stopped Yelling At My Kids

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