Money Saving Mom®

Today, I want to give you possibly the most important message you will hear this week…

You are enough. Exactly as you are.

You don’t have to be more, try harder, or do more. You are enough.

If you can really and truly believe this with all of your heart, it will change your entire life.

As you probably know, if you’ve been reading here for any length of time, I’m a big believer in owning your own gifts. I think it’s so important that we cheerlead and celebrate each other.

One evening while my four blogging friends were at my house last week, we decided to intentionally encourage each other to pursue and embrace our individual gifts.

We all sat at my kitchen table and went around and shared what our own gifts were. Then, each of us affirmed those gifts and shared other gifts we’ve seen in each friend. It was such a beautiful time of building each other up and celebrating who God has created each of us to be.

When we got to one of my friends, she had a really difficult time verbally telling us what her gifts were. In fact, she said she was not even sure she had any gifts at all. It broke my heart, because when I look at this friend I see so much talent, ability, and potential.

I could also identify, though, because that was me just a few years ago. I constantly felt like I didn’t measure up. I compared myself to others around me.

Break Down The Lies Inside Your Head

I’ve been on a journey the past few years to break down the lies inside my own head that tell me I’m not good enough. For a long time I didn’t want the gifts I had, and I fought against it.

I wanted to be a gifted writer who inspired people with beautiful word pictures. I wanted to be domestic. I wanted to cook and sew and create beautiful things.

But the truth is: When I try to write all artistically, it just falls flat. I can’t seem to figure out how to arrange basic wall-hangings in the rooms of my house. And I am totally not a chef.

You know what? I’m discovering that that is okay.

I have other talents God has given me. I have the gift of encouraging people to pursue their dreams and goals. I have the gift of marketing and strategic thinking: I can look at a situation and pinpoint what needs to be done in order to increase your income. And I’m a communicator — with the gift of taking big picture ideas and breaking them down into bite-sized pieces.

I could waste my life wishing these weren’t my gifts or I can choose to invest my life owning the gifts that I’ve been given. I could fritter away countless hours wishing I were someone else, or I can embrace who God has created me to be.

I want to stop playing the comparison game and instead choose to learn from others and be inspired by their special and unique gifts, and then own the gifts that I’ve been given. Because I’ve discovered that when I own my own gifts, I experience such fulfillment and excitement.

You Can’t Own Your Gifts If You Don’t Believe You Have Them

When my friend finally had the courage to voice a gift she had, it was like a dam broke inside of her. She cried and we cried with her because we were so excited for her to actually believe she had gifts and talents.

And it’s been so amazing to watch how that first small step of voicing her gifts out loud has started her on a journey of now wanting to embrace and exercise those gifts. It makes me thrilled!

The world needs her gifts — and the world needs YOUR gifts, too! But until you believe you have gifts and until you can recognize them as gifts, you can’t own, embrace, or exercise them.

If you are not sure what your gifts are, think about what makes you come alive, what makes you excited, what you love to do. Also, ask people around you to share what gifts they see in you. Often, others can see our gifts more clearly than we can.

I Feel Versus I Am

Recently, I walked into a room to find my daughter staring at herself in the mirror. She started saying, “I’m not beautiful. I’m ugly.”

It broke my mama heart — especially because I think she is absolutely gorgeous and she has the sweetest spirit so much of the time. I told her she may feel like she’s not beautiful, but the truth is that she is beautiful.

We talked about the important difference between “I feel” and “I am”. Sometimes, we might feel like we are not enough or like we are a failure, but that doesn’t mean that we are these things.

I told her that she’s more than welcome to voice how she’s feeling (“I feel ugly” etc.) In fact, I want to know when she’s feeling like this so that I can encourage her and remind her of the truth.

However, I told her that she’s not allowed to say “I’m ugly.” That’s a lie and we don’t allow lying at our house.

Those might seem like strong words, but I want to raise my children with the clear understanding of the truth: they were created for a purpose, they have unique gifts and talents, and there are always going to be voices (real or in our heads) that will try to put us down and make us feel like we’re not enough.

I want my kids to go out into the world equipped and empowered to know the difference between lies and truth and to know how to replace wrong beliefs when they get stuck in their head and make them feel less than.

Because here’s the thing: If you believe a lie long enough, it becomes truth to you and you begin under that lie. You’ll not only think it, but you’ll believe it and you’ll let it cloud everything in life — from your relationships, your friendships, your work, your art, your parenting, and more.

We have to fight for the truth! The truth that says that we are enough. That we have worth. That we have unique stories, unique gifts, and unique perspective. That we don’t need to be more, try harder, or reach a certain milestone in order to be enough.

You are enough — exactly as you are.

Replace the lies you’ve been believing with truths. Embrace who you God has created you to be.

It’s a conscious effort and something you have to do over and over again. But if you commit to replacing the lies with the truth every time they pop into your head, eventually it will become a habit, and the lies will dissipate as you live under the truth.

Own your gifts. Embrace the truth. And watch it beautifully transform your life from the inside out!

What are YOUR gifts? How are you embracing them? Tell us in the comments!

Sara in Shanghai shows us how to make 20 busy bags for only $5 using items from the local dollar store.

As many of you already know, this past week was a whirlwind of unexpected, frightening news for me and my family. A routine doctor’s visit turned my life upside down, and it left me sort of reeling. (You can read the details in this blog post, if you’d like more of the backstory.)

Through this experience over the past week, I have a newfound appreciation and empathy for those of you who are enduring major life struggles each and every day. I know that what I went through last week pales in comparison to some of the situations you find yourselves in, but in these moments I felt emotions I have never felt before.

I did not have the emotional or physical strength to do much of anything. I had no appetite. I couldn’t bring myself to really blog and had no desire to get online and tackle tasks I needed to — which is very out of character for me because I love this community here!

As I reflected on all of this, I thought about lessons I’m learning in the middle of this and I wanted to share them in hopes that they might encourage someone else who is going through a rough season. Maybe you have a difficult child, financial struggles, a broken relationship, medical issues, marriage problems, or you just feel plain stuck in life right now.

If you’re struggling today, here are 3 things that helped me last week:

1. Choose Joy.

Focus on your problems and you’ll feel discouraged. Focus on your blessings and you’ll feel encouraged. We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can always choose our response to those circumstances.

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or if the news we receive will change the course of our lives. We do know that we have today to embrace life and live as vibrantly and fully as we possibly can.

Choose to live fully today. Because today is all you’re guaranteed. Dwell in the present, and embrace the beauty surrounding you.

When I experienced my surprise medical issues, I had four blogging friends staying with me. I felt, at first, like it was the worst timing possible. I realized very quickly, though, that God had brought them to me at the perfect moment. Having them surround me with love, prayers, support, and encouragement was exactly what I needed and exactly when I needed it.

And I realized how much I had to be thankful for: not only my friends surrounding me, but also for my husband, my children, having 33 years of life — and a very healthy life, at that!

There is always, always something to be grateful for. Sometimes we have to really look for it, but when we do, we’ll find it — and probably a lot more than just one thing!

2. Reach Out for Help.

I’m a very driven, Type-A, do it all by myself kind of person. Allowing people to help me can be very difficult sometimes, but I’m beginning to really learn the beauty in reaching out and letting people pour into you and help you through times when you’re struggling.

We were made for community. Sometimes it feels easier to keep our feelings and hurts and struggles locked away inside, but sharing vulnerably with others gives us an opportunity to open up and have authentic relationships.

If you don’t feel like you have someone to reach out to, think about the people around you who seem like they are caring people, even if you don’t know them extremely well. I encourage you to reach out — today.

If you cannot think of anyone to reach out to, I’d love for you to reach out to me. You can e-mail me, tweet me, or leave a comment on this post. I do not want you to feel alone, and I would love to pray for you and give you a virtual hug.

I’m sure others here at the MoneySavingMom.com community would love to do the same for you. I want this to be a community where we are here to help, inspire, bless, and encourage one another.

3. Do the Next Small Thing.

I will never forget hearing Elisabeth Elliot’s story after her husband, Jim Elliot, was brutally murdered by the people group they were trying to serve and love. After an elaborate plan to minister to this people group ended in radio silence, Elisabeth Elliot said she had a choice in that heartbreaking moment — a choice to keep moving. She chose to do the next small thing, which was changing her daughter’s diaper.

For me this past week, when I wanted to feel overwhelmed with emotions, I challenged myself to just get up and do the next thing — loving on my family and being a host to my friends.

When you do the next thing, even if it seems so small, it will give you courage to keep taking the next small step. It usually feels so much easier to sit, wallow, and be discouraged. But if we just get up and do the next thing — whatever that might be — we will be able to start moving forward and not feel so stuck.

For those of you going through a seemingly hopeless time, I wanted to recommend two books to encourage you. Being the minimalist that I am, you know that I do not own many books. If a book stays on my shelf, it has deeply impacted me. Both of these books have been on my shelf for a long time, so you know that I really love them. 🙂

• Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose. This book shares the story of a woman’s miraculous faith in the jungles of WWII. I read it for the first time when I was about 13 years old and have since read it multiple times because it had such a profound effect on me. To read of this woman’s faith in the middle of confinement and horrendous situations as a prisoner of war was incredible. She chose joy over and over again and reminded herself of the truth instead of giving to seemingly hopeless situations. Even in some of the lowest points in my life, I always told myself that if Darlene could find joy and hope, so could I.

• Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. This is one of the absolute best books I’ve read about having a calm, restful, and trusting spirit during the trials of life. I highly recommend it.

What helps you when you are struggling or feel discouraged? Leave a comment and let us know!

If you are struggling and feeling discouraged and overwhelmed right now, I think you might be encouraged by this video I recorded live this morning on Periscope. I shared more of what’s been going on in my life right now and the lessons I’m learning from it.

This video is only available to view until tomorrow morning. You can watch it here. Just click the “Play” button to watch the broadcast. Or download the Periscope app on your device and search for @MoneySavingMom to find my profile and my most recent video.

{Ignore the trolls and few crazy, icky comments on this video. I didn’t catch all of them to block today, so a some of them got through!}

By the way, in case you missed my other post about it, I usually do a short 10-15 minute long Morning Motivation video each weekday morning at around 7 a.m. CT. I’d love for you to join me, if it works for your schedule. It’s fun to get to interact with you all live!

This post is a little personal and bordering on TMI, but you all are like family to me and I wanted you to know what’s been going on in my life the past few days…

The past six months or so, I’d been experiencing a few issues… of the female variety. I didn’t really think it was anything to worry about so I didn’t really pay attention to it much. I figured it would eventually just go away. (I know, denial is not really the best solution, is it??)

The past week, some more issues had arisen to the point where I knew something was clearly not right internally. Jesse encouraged me to make a doctor’s appointment and I was concerned enough that I did.

When I called the Women’s Center to let them know what was going on, they suggested that I come in sooner rather than later. So, even though I had blogging friends flying into town to stay at my house on Thursday afternoon, I went ahead and took the appointment slot they had open then.

Truthfully, I expected the appointment to be very routine: check in, get weighed, ask a few questions, get checked out, and be told to just watch things and report back if anything changed.

Only that’s not how it went. As soon as the PA started the internal exam, they said, “You have a mass on your cervix.”

And then they checked some more. And some more. Brought the doctor in. Checked some more.

This was not what I was anticipating. Not. at. all.

They started throwing out words and phrases and statements that were scary:

We need to do a biopsy.

We need to do an ultrasound.

We need to do surgery.

We may need to remove part or all of your uterus.

My head started spinning. I needed to be headed to the airport to pick up my blogging friends, not thinking about biopsies, surgery, and cancer.

I texted my friends and said, “I’m sorry, I have to get a biopsy on my cervix. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

And then there was more checking. More prodding. More poking. More uncomfortableness. More scary words.

This seemingly routine doctor’s appointment was now far from routine. And I sat there in the exam room not knowing what to feel.

They finished the biopsy, went over all my options and possibilities, and rearranged the schedule to get me in for an ultrasound the following morning.

I walked out of the doctor’s office wondering if my life would ever be the same again. I had to call Jesse and I didn’t know how to break the news to him.

You see, his mom had died of cervical cancer when he was 12. He’d walked this road before and I knew that this news would hit him much harder than it had hit me.

As I suspected, he was shocked by the news. He quickly worked out the childcare situation, dropped everything he was doing, and met me in the parking garage of the doctor’s office so he could drive with me to the airport.

I needed to process the news. I needed him close. And I knew I needed to be strong for him.

We talked through it. I shared my fears. We talked about the possibilities. And we texted my family with the news and asked them to pray.

It wasn’t just the cancer word that was scary. It was also the news that there was a good chance they’d need to remove my uterus.

I’m 33 years old and, as some of you know, I’m at peace with the fact that we might not have more children (we’ve experienced secondary infertility for the past 5 years), but we’ve always hoped that it might happen. So the thought that my child-rearing years were possibly coming to a screeching halt was hard to process. Especially because all of this came out of left field.

We went to the airport to pick up my friends. Part of me felt like this was the worst time ever for me to be hosting a Blogging Retreat at my house. But the other part of me knew that what I needed most was to be surrounded by friends who would make me laugh, listen to me, pray with me, and care for me.

That’s exactly what happened. These four girls were not only a great distraction to me, they were so kind and gentle. Speaking words of life, hope, and encouragement to me.

We got their suitcases situated, chatted a bit, and then left for the grocery store to buy groceries for the next few days (these girls are amazing cooks and food bloggers, so they offered to do the meal-planning and cooking while staying at my house — how cool is that??)

While we were at the store, my kids called me crying. One of them had overheard bits and pieces of the news, had relayed it to the others, and they were all very upset.

My heart broke right in two. How was I supposed to help my kids process all this when I couldn’t even figure out how to process it myself?

I said I’d be right home to snuggle with them and we quickly finished up the grocery shopping and headed home. It took about 30 minutes of talking and hugging and processing before the kids all calmed down enough to be able to sleep.

I felt so helpless to know how to encourage them. But I asked them to be strong for me and told them that we were all going to be brave together — no matter what I heard from the doctor the next day.

Before I went to bed that night, my sweet blogging friends all gathered around me and prayed over me.

It was beautiful. And I knew that God had orchestrated things perfectly to have them at my house the day that I needed them most.

I felt so loved and supported in the midst of my confusion and heaviness. In addition to my blogging friends surrounding me with love, all of my family members had reached out and texted me to say they were praying and to express how much they cared about me. It meant the world to me!

I slept well, but woke up feeling nervous, tense, and apprehensive. I knew that the news I was going to hear today could possibly change the course of the rest of my life.

I felt sick to my stomach and jittery. But in spite of that, I also felt peace.

Peace that whatever happened today, God was in control. Peace that God was going to take care of us.

And I headed into the ultrasound carried by this peace.

The internal and external exam seemed to take forever. We had to wait in the waiting room, do the exams, and then wait again for the reports.

Very pregnant women kept coming into the room for their ultrasounds. There were pregnancy magazines spread out everywhere. And all I could think was, “Most women who come into this office are probably getting ultrasounds of their healthy pregnancies, not finding out whether they have to get their uterus taken out or to be diagnosed with cancer.”

It made me think about how many times we’re in situations where someone might be hurting or carrying a heavy burden and we don’t know it. I want to be more sensitive and caring in these situations.

We finally got to meet with the doctor. I was shaking and scared.

And then she said the words I’d been holding my breath to hear: “I don’t think it’s cancer and the mass is small enough that we won’t have to remove your uterus when we do surgery.”

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

I had prepared for much worse. But instead, it was the best care scenario we could have possibly hoped for.

I felt grateful. Humbled. And exhausted from the tension. All at once.

I know that these stories often don’t have a happy ending. In fact, I debated whether or not to share it because it DOES have a happy ending.

Some of you don’t have happy endings to your stories.

Some of you are probably waiting on results for medical testings that could change the course of your future.

Some of you have probably received hard news in recent weeks.

Some of you are feeling scared and overwhelmed with heavy burdens.

I wish I could tie up all your problems in a neat little bow. I wish I could carry your burdens. I wish I could take away your heartache.

But while I can’t do that, what this week taught me was the power of being a supporter to others who are struggling. Because there are so many people who are struggling.

I want to do a better job of paying attention. Of asking the right questions. Of not being too busy or preoccupied to notice or care. Of making the effort to reach out and let people know that I care about them. Of finding more tangible ways to show people how much I love them.

There is a world of hurt, heartache, and heavy burdens around us. We can’t fix all the problems, but we can love others well. We can’t solve all the crisis that are swirling around us, but we can take time to listen and care about those in our daily lives. We can’t heal all the brokenhearted, but we can shower people with the ministry of our presence.

Together, we can help do a little bit to turn others’ upside down worlds a little more right-side up. And it starts with our willingness to stop worrying about how awkward it might feel or how uncomfortable it might seem, and to just reach out and love others well… just like my blogging friends and my immediate family did for me this week.