Money Saving Mom®

I have heard so many rave reviews of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and have been meaning to start it for a number of weeks. But I wanted to wait until I had enough margin in my life to actually put the book into practice, not just read it and wish I could follow through with it! 🙂

So since I have a quieter week this week, I decided to dive into it — and to be brave enough to blog my thoughts as I read it. (The book is broken up into five different parts, so I’ll be reading one part per day this week and blogging my thoughts fresh after reading it.)

Why Can’t I Keep My House in Order?

The first section was called Why Can’t I Keep My House in Order? And it started out with a bang — not only by making a case for why you need to tidy up your space (“When you put your life in order, you put your affairs and past in order, too.”) but on why you need to completely rethink your approach (“Success is 90 percent dependent upon our mindset.”)

Marie Kondo, the author, did a great job of convincing readers to give her methods a try. She also did a fantastic job persuading readers why other organizational methods such as doing a little bit at a time, just don’t work well.

“If you tidy up in one shot rather than little by little, you can dramatically change your mindset.”

Part of me loved her sort of all or nothing approach. I loved that she promises that once you overhaul your home with her methods, it will not only transform your life, but that you will never need to do such an overhaul again.

That alone was pretty impressive to me. We live fairly clutter-free, minimalist lives — or so I thought before I dug into my kitchen today (more on that in my Homemaking Challenge report post tonight!) — but I have to stay on top of the clutter. This means that I have to go through our house regularly and clear out clutter and this also means that at least once a year, I do a thorough top to bottom house decluttering.

So I’m very curious to read more and hear how Marie makes good on claims that once you’ve done this whole house tidying, you don’t need to do much maintenance. If she could save me from needing to spend a week decluttering every year, I would be all over that.

“The KonMari Method I describe in this book is not a mere set of rules on how to sort, organize, and put things away. It is a guide to acquiring the right mindset for creating order and becoming a tidy person.”

One particular nugget in this first section intrigued me and that was the suggestion to tidy by category, not by location. Instead of tidying the girl’s room or the living room, she suggests tackling clothing and then books and so forth.

I’m still not sure how that all works out — especially because I feel like I have a number of items that would fall under the miscellaneous category. Again, I’ll wait to see how she fleshes the details out more on this.

“People cannot change their habits without first changing their thinking.”

So far, I’m loving the book. It’s inspiring me, it’s challenging me, and it’s leaving me hungry for more. I can’t wait to read tomorrow’s section and let you know what I think of it!

If you read pages 1-33 today, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you read! Tell us in the comments.

My friend, Beth, from RedandHoney.com, gave this mug to me recently and I love the reminder!

“It’s not enough to have feathers, you must dare to fly!”

Do you want to make a difference with your life? Use the feathers you were given. The world needs your story, your talents, your gifts.

You’ll probably feel scared to jump out and try to fly. Do it anyway.

You’ll probably have some struggles along the way. Keep at it.

You’ll probably make some mistakes along the journey. Don’t give up!

Be brave. Jump out and use the feathers you were given.

Use your gifts. Share your story. Exercise your talents. Dare to fly!

Psst! I shared more about this on Periscope this morning. You can watch my video here for the next 24 hours (just click on the Play button).

Passionate Penny Pincher put together the ultimate Aldi, Costco & Sam’s Club price comparison chart. This is super helpful to know where to get the best prices on staple items.

Last weekend, I went to Maryland with my friend Tam to support her as she spoke at the Whole Women Weekend Conference. When Tam posted about this on her Instagram account, comments popped up about what a wonderful and caring friend I was.

As I read the sweet and kind comments from Tam’s followers, I kept thinking in the back up my mind, “But that’s just what friends do…”

We support each other. We have each others’ backs. We rearrange our schedules for each other. Tam has done this time and time again for me and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to get to be on the cheering lines for her this time!

The past few days, I’ve been reflecting on friendship and how this is an area I’ve learned a lot about and grown in during the past five years. And I’ve been thinking about what a blessing it is that I now have these kinds of relationships — the deep, authentic friendships that I craved and prayed for for so long.

As I’ve shared here before, for many years, I craved authentic and meaningful friendships with other women but struggled to develop anything other than more surface-y relationships.

As time went on and I so longed for close friendships and it seemed like not many were happening, I began wondered if something was wrong with me, if I just wasn’t connecting with the right people, or in the right circles.

It took me a long time to realize that these types of relationships are out there, but you have to look for them and work at them. They don’t just happen; they have to be cultivated.

You have to be willing to open up, to make sacrifices, to go deep, to rearrange your schedule, to be vulnerable, and to keep reaching out. After years of praying for safe friendships and learning many lessons along the way, I’m so humbly grateful for the rich gifts of deep friendships in my life that I have with a number of beautiful women.

These relationships didn’t just happen; they were cultivated, developed, and nurtured. I’m a work in progress when it comes to relationships, but I’ve grown and learned a lot in the last few years.

And because so many women have come to me in recent months sharing how lonely they are and how much they wish they could develop deeper relationships, I wanted to share three ways I’m learning to be a better friend.

{These are simple things and I’m barely scratching the surface when it comes to relationship-building in this post, but I hope that these might inspire you to think of ways to further develop relationships with women in your own life and circles!}

1. Show Up.

Sometimes it means sacrifice or rearranging schedules. Other times it may even mean getting less sleep. It might mean setting aside life for an hour or an afternoon to show up: to be with a friend, to call a friend, to drop everything to go sit with a friend who is struggling and just listen.

When you make a commitment to show up, that’s when friendships blossom. With Tam, we have a commitment to see each other every Monday evening. No matter what is going on in our lives, unless we are out of town or sick or some other something that can’t be changed, we show up at the same time every week as families to just be together. As a result, our friendship has flourished.

Showing up doesn’t necessarily just mean being together in person. It could be showing up by texting a friend to ask how she’s doing. It could be sending a card. It could be making a phone call. It could be sending a gift. It could be an offer to help. It could be dropping something on someone’s front porch.

It will look different in different situations. But in every case, it will mean us being willing to open up ourselves — our time, our schedule, our gifts, our hearts — to show someone that we care about them.

2. Go First With Vulnerability.

Be the first to say “what’s going on in your life?” and to share authentically. Sometimes we are fearful of opening up and letting others into the deep, raw, vulnerable places of our hearts and souls.

When you choose to go first with vulnerability, it makes the other person feel comfortable to do the same as a natural response.

Bravery and honesty in relationships are what breeds depth. When we say, “This hurts.” Or, “This is hard.” Or, “I’m struggling.” Or, “Will you forgive me?”

3. Ask Great Questions and Then Listen.

My mom taught me this. She is the most amazing “question asker” in existence. She can have a conversation with pretty much anyone for hours because she knows how to ask great questions.

When you ask questions, it opens up the door for people to share with you because it shows you’re interested. And the most important part is to listen after you ask the question. Wait for a response, and ask a follow-up question.

One thing I like to ask people when I meet them but know very little about them is to say, “Tell me about yourself.” It’s an open-ended question that usually provides enough springboard for me to ask follow-up questions and then really get to know someone.

If you struggle to know how to crack the door into deeper relationships, a few starter questions could be things like: “How are you really doing?”, “What are you excited about right now?” “What is the hardest thing going on in your life?” or “What are you learning right now?” or “How can I pray for you?”

These questions are so much better than just saying “How was your day?” These kinds of questions give you a peek into someone’s heart and pave the way for closer, authentic friendships.

How do you invest in your friendships? What suggestions or tips do you have for ways to be a better friend? Tell us in the comments.

Did you know that I’m doing a daily, LIVE video show each weekday morning around 7:30 a.m. CT? You can watch live, leave comments, ask questions, and interact with me. All in real-time!

It’s so much fun and I just love the personal interaction. Each show is usually 15 to 25 minutes long and I share practical and inspirational motivation to help you begin your day well. I also take a few off-topic questions, tell you about my crazy adventures and mishaps, and give you a little peek behind-the-scenes at our every day lives.

To join us, just download the Periscope app on your device and search for @MoneySavingMom to find my profile and my most recent video. You can choose to be notified each time I go live each morning so that you don’t miss the live broadcasts.

If you miss the live show, you can watch the re-broadcast link any time over the next 24 hours on the Periscope app. I also just set up a Katch.me account this week and all of my broadcasts will be available to watch there, as well. Check it out here.