Money Saving Mom®

Earlier today, I asked on my Facebook Page what holds people back from setting goals. By and large, the overwhelming response was that a fear of failure is what is keeping most back from attempting to set goals.

Failure is Inevitable

Here’s the thing, you are going to fail in life. Failure is evidence that you’re trying.

If you’re jumping out and trying new things, taking some risks, and living life to your fullest potential, failing at some things is unavoidable. We aren’t always going to be able to do everything well nor will every idea we have turn into a golden idea.

But failing at something doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you human.

Failure Doesn’t Have to Define You

Failure doesn’t define you — unless you let it. You can choose to wallow in despair over the fact that you failed at something, or you can choose to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and move forward.

3 Things To Do When You Fail

1. Ask Yourself Why?

When you find that you are failing at something, or you’re at the bottom and have already miserably failed, one of the best things you can do is to step back and ask yourself “Why?” You can’t come up with a solution until you first isolate the problem.

Are you going about something the wrong way? Did you set unrealistic goals in the first place? Are there specific hindrances and roadblocks keeping you from success?

At the beginning of this year, I was all gung-ho about switching to a paperless planning system. I was so sure it was going to make my life and business run smoother.

But a few months into the year, I realized that I was feeling scatter-brained and disorganized as a result of trying so hard to make a paperless planning system work. As I began analyzing why it wasn’t working well for me, I realized that I remember things better when I write them down rather than type them in.

Since I was typing in my projects and responsibilities, I was having trouble remembering them. And while I could also check my phone or my computer, I just wanted to also be able to be able to recall them mentally, too.

2. Make Sure You’re Not Trying to Be Someone Else

As I talked about yesterday, it’s easy for us to feel like failures when we compare ourselves to someone we’re not. And honestly, I think much of our feelings of failure are not truly failure at all — they are actually just feelings of inadequacy that are a result of comparing ourselves to other people.

One of the big reasons I wanted a paperless planning system to work for me was because I saw how it was working so well for my husband. I also had read articles online describing its brilliancy.

But what works well for one person doesn’t always work for others — as I quickly found out. So instead of beating myself up for “failing” at a paperless planning system, I instead decided to accept the fact that it might be a fantastic idea for others, but it just wasn’t the best thing for me.

3. Consider What You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Failure is not fun. It’s not glamorous. And it won’t usually win you any accolades.

Despite this, I have come to believe that failure is my friend. Through failure, I’ve discovered weaknesses and shortcomings in my life, I’ve pinpointed character that I need to work on, and I’ve uncovered many, many ways to do things that don’t work.

I wouldn’t have chosen all of the failures I’ve experienced in life, but in retrospect, I’m realizing that learning invaluable lessons the hard way has helped me develop as a person, shaped the way I approach things in life, and made me a better wife, mother, friend, and business owner.

Instead of running from failure, take time to really examine what you can learn from it so that you don’t make the same mistakes again. By doing so, you’ll probably agree with me that failure can become your greatest teacher to propel you onward and upward!

What baby items do you consider essential? We have a small two bedroom condo (with no extra storage) and are expecting our first child this winter. We just aren’t going to have the space to have every single baby item out there!.

We want to live simply and not have a bunch of items around the house that we don’t need or use. My other (related) question would be: How do you explain to people that you don’t need all the “extras?” -Emily

Congratulations on your pregnancy, Emily! I love how you’re thinking ahead — what a smart mom you already sound like!

We were in a similar situation when our first baby was born and I know some of what you’re feeling as you try to determine what you need to buy and how you’re going to have room for the additional items.

Here’s some advice based upon my experience of living in a small apartment with a baby:

1. Don’t Buy Anything Until After Your Baby Shower

It’s tempting to want to purchase the adorable teensy tiny baby items that you see at Target or at garage sales, but if you know someone is planning a baby shower for you, wait to buy anything until after it’s over with. I found that people were so generous that we ended upon almost not needing to spend any money on baby supplies after our baby showers!

2. Borrow Items You Will Only Use for a Short Time

There’s no point in spending money to buy something that you’ll only use for a few months or less. And there’s a good possibility one or two of your friends have an extra baby sling, bassinet, or other such baby items in their attic or basement storage room that they’d love to let you borrow.

In addition, if you are thinking about purchasing a non-essential baby item, but you’re not sure if it will work well for you and your baby, wait until after your baby is born and see if you can borrow the item for a short while from a friend before purchasing it.

3. Accept Gifts Graciously

While it’s easy to worry about what you’re going to do about people giving you things you don’t need, focus instead on the fact that you are so loved that so many people want to bless you. If someone asks for specifics on what to purchase for your baby, you can graciously explain to them that essentials like diapers, clothing, food for your freezer (for after your baby comes), and/or a gift card that you can use toward a large ticket purchase would be the best things since you’re short on space.

However, if someone doesn’t ask and instead buys you something so you don’t think you’ll need, don’t allow yourself to feel any sort of frustration toward the gift-giver or view the gift as unneeded clutter. Just be grateful for the wonderful people in your life who are so kind to make sacrifices on your behalf.

As far as essentials go, I did a series on Having a Baby Without Breaking the Bank in 2009. Here’s the list of essentials I shared in that series:

Aside from lots of love and nurturing, here are the essentials I believe you truly need:

1. Clothes (For starting out, I think you can get by just fine with six onesies, six sleepers, a few pairs of socks, and a few hats.)

2. Bed (unless you’re planning to co-sleep) and bedding

3. Car Seat

4. Stroller (or sling/baby carrier — some people find a sling/ERGO to be more practical than a stroller)

5. Diapers and Wipes (either cloth or disposable)

6. Burp Cloths and Blankets (4-6 total, some light and some thicker).

(And if you are unable to nurse or if you are adopting, you would also need to add formula/bottles, etc. to this list.)

There are lots of other things that can be fun to have or that can make life more convenient, but they aren’t essentials, in my opinion. And babies have survived for centuries without them!

What advice do the rest of you have for Emily? What items are on your life of baby essentials? I’d love to hear!