Money Saving Mom®

So you noticed how I skipped doing the Homemaking Challenge yesterday and stayed in bed instead? As I shared on Periscope this morning, that is a big deal for usually-driven-push-hard me.

And it’s all part of my new mantra to do a better job of listening to my body, of giving myself grace, and of taking time to rest. Because the health scare of the last two weeks was a real wake-up call for me.

I finished reading For The Love by Jen Hatmaker last week and I was so challenged by many parts of the book, but especially by the first chapter. In that chapter, she talks about how we try so hard as women to be the best, do the best, and impress other people. In the process, we end up exhausting ourselves.

She sums this up perfectly with a quote that jumped off the page at me and stuck in my head all week long:

“We need to quit trying to be awesome, and instead be wise.”

What exactly does this mean? What does it look like? I’ve been mulling over that the last week.

For me, it means giving myself grace and doing what is best for me and my family. I can invest so much energy in trying to give my all — as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as an employer, as a blogger, as a homemaker, as a homeschooler — and I can easily burn myself about by trying to be “awesome” in every area of my life.

But the truth is, when I try to be awesome in every single area, I end up so exhausted instead that I’m not really able to be anything to anyone.

So I am working on doing a better job of reminding myself of this. And I easily forget.

Take last week, for instance. Even while letting this quote resonate in my mind, I had a moment where I tried to choose awesomeness over wisdom.

As you know, the last few weeks I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and worn down. I had a lot of projects on my plate, to-do’s on my list, and people who were needing extra investment. As a result, I hadn’t been getting enough sleep or taking care of myself.

During a moment of sitting at home feeling like I was barely hanging on or keeping up, I received an e-mail from a reader that said, “I used to love your blog, but I don’t anymore, and here’s why…” She then listed all of the reasons why she no longer enjoys my blog.

I get e-mails like this from time to time. I have learned over the years of blogging that I can’t please everyone. I will always disappoint someone, because I am only one person and I can’t be all things to all people.

But this e-mail came right at a time when I was already feeling like I was failing big time. I was discouraged, and this e-mail felt like a gut punch while I was already down. It felt like I was pouring every last drop out and it wasn’t enough.

One of the reasons why this reader said she didn’t like my blog anymore was that I no longer hosted regular challenges — like the homemaking, cleaning, or freezer cooking challenges I’ve done in the past.

As soon as I read this, I immediately started looking at my calendar and trying to plan out when I could do challenges multiple challenges in the next few weeks, all because of this one e-mail. I mapped out a plan to do three different challenges — including a challenge last week right before my surgery.

I didn’t think about how exhausted I felt or how full my week already was. I was moreso just focusing on the fact that if I didn’t do these challenges, I was failing my readers.

When I told my husband about my plan to do a challenge last week and then this week and the following week, he looked at me like I was nuts. Because I was!

And then he spoke some truth to me, “Maybe you can another week, but this week you just need to rest.”

I knew he was right, I mean, I was worn out and worn down plus I was scheduled for surgery, but there was that part of me inside that was yelling, “But I’m going to disappoint my readers! I have to figure out a way to make this happen!”

And then I remembered that quote. I had to remind myself to stop trying to be awesome, and instead be wise.

I’m so, so glad that I listened to my husband because last week ended up being a really hard week for me. Not only did I end up in bed with a fever for a few days and then have some serious nausea the day before my surgery, but then surgery recovery ended up being a lot harder than I expected.

My husband gave me permission to plan a simple challenge this week because I felt like I might go stir-crazy with all the resting! But he made me promise to take it easy, keep it simple, and skip any day that I didn’t feel up to it. Which I did yesterday!

I share this in hopes that it will encourage you to think of areas in your life where you might be trying to be awesome when you need to step back, cut back, and be wise instead.

Now, yes, when you start choosing to be wise over trying to be awesome, you will also have to be okay with disappointing some people. Because not everyone is going to be on board with you saying no, cutting back, or not being as available.

But it’s okay to disappoint people — provided they are the right people. I don’t want to disappoint my God, my husband, or my kids. There are a lot of other people I will have to disappoint in the process in order to not disappoint those who are my greatest priorities right now.

So today, my challenge for you is this: Think about the areas you’re trying to be awesome in and decide if you need to dial back and say “that’s not wise for me right now.” Do what works for you and what is best for your family. Be okay if it’s completely different than someone else.

You are not them, you are YOU. Do what works for you!

So, I knew it was coming… the part of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up when it would get weird. And well, today it happened.

Marie Kondo suggests that folding clothes transfers energy. And I responded, “Weird.”

She suggested thanking your clothes. And again, I say, “Weird.”

Finally, she makes a case for why you should treat your socks with respect. And I say a resounding, “Weird.”

But contrary to what you might expect, I didn’t close the book and walk away from it. I plowed through and kept reading… and I’m glad that I did.

I’d heard/seen things about people folding their clothes a different way as a result of reading this book. So I was curious as to what that was all about.

She says, “The key is to store things standing up rather than laid flat.” Why? So that when you open your drawer, you can see everything at once.

I’m torn on this. On the one hand, it seems like a lot of work. She suggests: “Fold each piece of clothing into a simple, smooth rectangle.” {My kids do most of the laundry nowadays and I’m trying to decide if I want to put in the work to teach them to fold and put away this way or not.}

On the other hand, it does make sense to have everything in your dressers in a way that you can see everything and don’t have to dig to try to find what you’re looking for.

Do any of you fold and put away your clothes this way? I’d love to hear your thoughts on it as I am toying with trying it.

“Keep things because you love them, not just because.”

This quote is one I want to remember and follow. I’ve been noticing how much stuff I hang out because I think I should.

I should read that book. We should review that manners chart. I should teach my kids that. I should make that craft kit. And on and on it goes.

But none of these shoulds are bringing me joy. Instead, they are making me feel like I’m not doing enough.

I love what she said about books: “You are going to read very few of your books again. Keep only those books that will make you happy just to see them on your shelves.”

And then she said this powerful statement: “Having fewer books actually increases the impact of the information I read.”

Whoa. That’s thought-provoking. And it made me immediately want to pare down my massive stack of I-want-to-read-right-now books next to my bed that has been taunting me for too long.

Two more quotes that really challenged me:

• “No matter how wonderful things used to be, we cannot live in the past. The joy and excitement we feel here and now are more important.”
• “By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past.”

Did you read along with section 3 today? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it or on what I shared above.

If you missed Part 1 of this review, read it here.

So, I fully expected that I wouldn’t like part 2 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up as much as I liked part 1. But folks, I actually think I liked this section even better!

Visualize your destination.

This section starts off by encouraging you to really step back and examine why and what. Why do you want to have more organization in your life (“Before you start tidying, look at the lifestyle you aspire to and ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to tidy?'”) and what does a tidy home and life look like to you.

Ask: Does it spark joy?

This question really got me to thinking. The author says: “We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.”

I actually spent a little time looking at the #KonMari hashtag on Instagram today and was so inspired by some of the beautiful spaces I saw there. You know that I’m usually more of a utilitarian sort of person, however, I was really motivated by and drawn to the clean and welcoming pictures I saw on that stream.

It made me want to look for ways to make the spaces in our home more inviting. I don’t know what that means exactly or what that looks like, but I’m going to start doing a better job of paying attention to what types of colors and patterns and fabrics I’m drawn to and to see what happens when I sprinkle these types of things in our every day spaces.

Always think in terms of category, not place.

As I mentioned yesterday, the Marie encourages you to go through your home by category, not by location. She suggests getting out all the items in that category, putting them in one place, and handling each item asking yourself, “Does this spark joy?”

She says to tackle clothes first, then books, papers, miscellany, and lastly, mementos. I’m planning to try this out with some items in our home in the next few days to see how it goes!

Finally…

Here are two quotes that were too thought-provoking not to share:

• “The urge to point out someone else’s failure to tidy is usually a sign that you are neglecting to take care of your own space.”
• “To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.”

Did you read this section along with me today? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it — or your thoughts on what I shared above. Do you agree or disagree?

I have heard so many rave reviews of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and have been meaning to start it for a number of weeks. But I wanted to wait until I had enough margin in my life to actually put the book into practice, not just read it and wish I could follow through with it! 🙂

So since I have a quieter week this week, I decided to dive into it — and to be brave enough to blog my thoughts as I read it. (The book is broken up into five different parts, so I’ll be reading one part per day this week and blogging my thoughts fresh after reading it.)

Why Can’t I Keep My House in Order?

The first section was called Why Can’t I Keep My House in Order? And it started out with a bang — not only by making a case for why you need to tidy up your space (“When you put your life in order, you put your affairs and past in order, too.”) but on why you need to completely rethink your approach (“Success is 90 percent dependent upon our mindset.”)

Marie Kondo, the author, did a great job of convincing readers to give her methods a try. She also did a fantastic job persuading readers why other organizational methods such as doing a little bit at a time, just don’t work well.

“If you tidy up in one shot rather than little by little, you can dramatically change your mindset.”

Part of me loved her sort of all or nothing approach. I loved that she promises that once you overhaul your home with her methods, it will not only transform your life, but that you will never need to do such an overhaul again.

That alone was pretty impressive to me. We live fairly clutter-free, minimalist lives — or so I thought before I dug into my kitchen today (more on that in my Homemaking Challenge report post tonight!) — but I have to stay on top of the clutter. This means that I have to go through our house regularly and clear out clutter and this also means that at least once a year, I do a thorough top to bottom house decluttering.

So I’m very curious to read more and hear how Marie makes good on claims that once you’ve done this whole house tidying, you don’t need to do much maintenance. If she could save me from needing to spend a week decluttering every year, I would be all over that.

“The KonMari Method I describe in this book is not a mere set of rules on how to sort, organize, and put things away. It is a guide to acquiring the right mindset for creating order and becoming a tidy person.”

One particular nugget in this first section intrigued me and that was the suggestion to tidy by category, not by location. Instead of tidying the girl’s room or the living room, she suggests tackling clothing and then books and so forth.

I’m still not sure how that all works out — especially because I feel like I have a number of items that would fall under the miscellaneous category. Again, I’ll wait to see how she fleshes the details out more on this.

“People cannot change their habits without first changing their thinking.”

So far, I’m loving the book. It’s inspiring me, it’s challenging me, and it’s leaving me hungry for more. I can’t wait to read tomorrow’s section and let you know what I think of it!

If you read pages 1-33 today, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you read! Tell us in the comments.

My friend, Beth, from RedandHoney.com, gave this mug to me recently and I love the reminder!

“It’s not enough to have feathers, you must dare to fly!”

Do you want to make a difference with your life? Use the feathers you were given. The world needs your story, your talents, your gifts.

You’ll probably feel scared to jump out and try to fly. Do it anyway.

You’ll probably have some struggles along the way. Keep at it.

You’ll probably make some mistakes along the journey. Don’t give up!

Be brave. Jump out and use the feathers you were given.

Use your gifts. Share your story. Exercise your talents. Dare to fly!

Psst! I shared more about this on Periscope this morning. You can watch my video here for the next 24 hours (just click on the Play button).