Money Saving Mom®

In chapter 10 of your book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, you write that you “get up everyday excited about what lies before you. Eager to meet the day and the challenges. Anxious to make a little more traction each day toward bigger goals for the future.”

This really hits me. This is what I strive for everyday and struggle with. I have the strong desire, but some mornings, I really have a hard time making it happen.

I was wondering if you had any tips to help with that? I have found that when I wake up in the morning I can usually tell if it’s going to be a not-so-good day. I feel it and when I try to work around that it seems like I’m just making things worse.

I really have an extremely hard time with my desire and intentions on having a good and productive day and it turning into a stressful dash in the evening to try and make it a reality. I’m doing better with not putting added pressure on myself during the day but the evenings are still bad. -Nisa

Great question, Nisa! Here are some ideas and suggestions I had based upon what I’ve found helpful myself:

1. Set Yourself Up for Success the Night Before

A successful morning begins the night before. Get started on your bedtime routine early: take time to tidy up the house, lay out your clothes for the next day, write out a short list of projects to accomplish in the morning, set up the coffee pot, and go to bed early.

Taking time the night before to prepare for the next day will not only make your morning go much more smoothly, but it will also give you a boost when you wake up. There’s something about waking up with a simple plan in place and things in order that jumpstarts your day in a good way.

For more ideas, be sure to check out my post on 11 Things You Can Do Tonight To Set You Up For Success Tomorrow.

2. Make Sure You’re Getting Enough Sleep

Not too long ago, I read Sleep: It Does A Family Good and was reminded of how important good’s night rest is. So make sure that you’re not sacrificing your health for the sake of getting up early!

If you’re feeling tired in the middle of the afternoon, you’re probably not getting enough sleep at night. The book recommends going to bed 15 minutes earlier until you find your sleep ideal (i.e. the number of hours of sleep that your body functions best on).

By the way, remember that not everyone is at their highest productivity in the early morning. Some people are more disciplined and efficient at night. If that’s when you function best and that’s what works best for your family, go with that.

3. Have a Reason for Getting Up

I read this comment the other day from Lou Holtz: “If you’re bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, you don’t have enough goals.”

Goals have given me purpose and passion for life. I have many short-term and long-term goals I’m working toward that I’m stoked about, so each day I wake up knowing it’s an opportunity to inch a little closer to those goals.

If you don’t have anything you’re aiming for, you’re probably not going to have much motivation. Why? Because you’re basically just wandering around without any real destination in mind. Or, you’re just trying to survive and make it to the weekend.

Consider where you hope to be in six months or a year from now? Do you want to be more fit, advance in your career, become a stay-at-home mom, write a book, pay off your credit card, develop friendships, learn a new language? Whatever it is that comes to mind, write it down.

Then, once you have a list of ideas, pick out the top 1-3 ideas that you would consider the greatest priorities to you. Make sure to choose ideas that are at least fairly realistic and very specific. Wishy-washy, pie-in-the-sky, or vague goals aren’t really goals at all; they are more ideas or dreams.

Take those 1-3 goals and break them down into bite-sized pieces: monthly, weekly, and then daily goals to help you work toward where you hope to be in six months or a year from now. Commit to spending 15-30 minutes every morning working on one of the goals.

4. Jump Outside Your Comfort Zone

Does jumping out of the safe zone scare you? Well, then take a tiny baby step. And then another tiny baby step. Whatever you do, though, don’t stay put.

One thing that helps me is to ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” In most cases, there are pretty much only two “worst case scenarios” when trying something new: a) You try something and fail at it — which isn’t bad at all, as I already hopefully convinced you of just a minute ago. b) You try something and decide you don’t like it. In that case, there are a billion other possibilities of things you can try next.

I loved this quote from Michael Hyatt that I heard on his Platform University video:

“The most interesting things in life happen just outside your comfort zone.”

I’ve found this to be true in my own life. There are so many amazing experiences and relationships I would have missed out on if I had stayed in the safe zone.

Sure, it’s scary, but if you’re willing to take the risk, I’m guessing you’ll end up finding it really rewarding. Plus, I’ve discovered that when you start pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone moves. Things that were once completely daunting to you can become exhilarating and invigorating.

And no matter what happens when you get outside of your comfort zone, I promise it will be more inspiring than staying stuck in a rut.

Also: Read my post on 10 Things to Do When You Wake Up Feeling Like a Grouch.

What advice do the rest of you have for Nisa?

Want some practical help with setting up your day for success? Be sure to grab a copy of my brand-new online course, Make Over Your Mornings.

This 14-day online course includes videos, a workbook, and step-by-step projects and is designed to help you revolutionize your productivity, streamline your routines, invest your time in things that truly matter, and find more joy and peace in the process.

If you’ve ever wished that you could figure out how to get more done, have more organization in your life, and find time to spend on things you love, the Make Over Your Mornings Course is for you. Find out more about it here.

photo credit; photo credit

Thank you so much to so many of you who joined us for last night’s Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Conference Call! It was a great call — and your questions were fantastic!

If you missed it, I’ve got great news: we recorded it and are making the replay available below.

Some of the Topics We Covered:

• How to recognize the warning signs of burn-out and what to do about them
• How to look at failure as your friend and embrace it for growth and change.
• How to stop living in the “Comparison Trap” and find more joy.
• How to create space for margin and breathing room in the midst of a busy schedule.
• How to develop authentic friendships with other women.
• How to deal with and overcome mommy guilt.

In addition, remember that BIG news for our family that I alluded to in a recent post? Well, I spilled the beans on the call last night.

It’s a decision we’ve been mulling over for quite some time and are grateful that both Jesse and I came to a place of very clear direction and peace about it together in November. We’re sad to leave our friends and family in Kansas (sniff!), but we’re very excited to embark on this brand-new adventure come April.

Listen to a replay of the Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Conference Call. Click the play button below.

[audio:http://cdn1.moneysavingmom.com/wp-content/uploads/av/cpjan21telereplay.mp3]

If you’d prefer to download the file instead, click here. (You’ll need to right-click and choose “Save File As…”) [ 48.9MB MP3 download]

If you haven’t grabbed your copy of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode yet, be sure to do so here. I’ve been so blessed to read all the testimonies and reviews from those of you who have already gotten your copy! You all are the BEST and are such a source of encouragement to me!

I’m over on Incourage today sharing about 4 Ways to Cultivate Margin & Breathing Room in Your Life:

Picture a book that had no margins — the words completely filling each and every page of the entire book. Would that book be an easy read? No, it would feel chaotic and busy, probably even overwhelming.

So it is with our lives. If we don’t allow white space to breathe and refresh, but instead pack every moment of every day full to the brim with to-do’s and projects, our lives will feel chaotic, disorderly, and exhausting.

If you have a full schedule, you probably won’t naturally find much margin or breathing room in your life. Instead, you have to be intentional about cultivating it. Here are some ideas…

Read the full post.

I’m honored that Dot Complicated is featuring an interview with me on their site today. Here’s a snippet:

1. We live in a world where we’re addicted to being busy. How was your own busy life affecting your marriage with your husband? What made you turn things around?

Six years into our marriage, I found myself the mother of three young children while also juggling the responsibilities of a very demanding online business. Being a very Type A kind of person, I didn’t want to admit my limitations. So I kept piling on new to-do’s and saying yes to new commitments.

Over time, this led to exhaustion, burnout, and the breakdown of my health. But I pushed ahead, thinking if I’d just get a little more organized or sleep a little less, I’d find a way to balance everything. However, it just wasn’t working: not only were my kids suffering and my health suffering, but my marriage was, too. I was always rushing through my days trying to get through my overwhelming to-do list. And I was constantly too busy to take time to invest in my marriage.

Read the full interview.

photo emailed in by reader, Suemee

Thank you for joining me in all the excitement of my Book Release Day! If you missed out on any of the special offers and the washer/dryer giveaway, be sure to click on the links below for more information:

• Buy My Book In-Store and I’ll Buy You Coffee
• Buy a Copy of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, Get a Free DaySpring Flip Calendar
• Enter to win a Whirlpool Cabrio Washer & Dryer

Enter to Win $1000 Amazon Gift Card

To celebrate the release of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, I’m giving away one BIG Amazon gift card every evening for the next four days. To enter to win, just enter your name and email address below.

One winner will be chosen and posted tomorrow evening. And be sure to grab your copy of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, if you haven’t already!

This giveaway is now closed and the winner is Mindi (ladybirdsegg@)

Don’t forget to head over here to enter to win a Whirlpool Cabrio Washer & Dryer Set!

I can’t WAIT to see who wins!

I’m going through your seven day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge and am really having a hard time implementing some things. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and have a 2- year-old.

I honestly want to spend each day with some coffee and mindless TV while my boy plays. This pregnancy has worn me out way more than the first. I’m still getting laundry, cooking and cleaning done when I can put on Barney for a bit or when I’m not napping during his nap, but getting up early is so hard. I went to bed last night at 9 and still was solid asleep until 7am.

I have so many books I want to read, hats I want to knit for my friends moving to China, baked goods I want to make for families, biblical studies and better prayer time that needs to happen, etc. How do I implement both grace and discipline in my current situation? -Paige

{Hugs} Paige! You are in a hard season of life… I well remember those days when you’re trying to care for a toddler’s needs and you’re feeling exhausted from your pregnancy, too!

Here’s my encouragement to you:

1. Give Yourself Grace

There will be time for reading and knitting and baking and studying. Now is not that time. Right now, focus on getting as much sleep as you can, loving on your toddler, and taking care of yourself as you nurture a life inside of you.

When you are feeling discouraged that you aren’t getting much done, remind yourself that this is just a season. Before you know it, your children will be more independent and you’ll probably have more energy, too.

2. Don’t Play the Comparison Game

Whatever you do, don’t compare yourself and what you’re able to accomplish to other women. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses, our own struggles and difficulties.

It’s easy to feel guilty if we’re not doing as much as someone else. But the thing is: we can always find someone who is doing more than us in every single area. So no matter how much we do, we’ll always come up short when we play the comparison game.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, do the best you can do with the time and energy you have and then give yourself grace for all you aren’t doing.

3. Focus on Your Top 3 Priorities

I encourage you to sit down with your husband and discuss what your top three priorities should be for this season of life. Decide on these together and then write them out and stick them some place where you are reminded of them daily.

When opportunities arise or you have creative ideas, look at that list of three things and decide whether these opportunities/ideas are in line with your life. In most cases, I’m guessing they won’t be. And this will allow you to guiltlessly say “no” or set aside the idea for now. This doesn’t mean that you are failing; it means that you are being very intentional about how you spend your time.

If you find it helpful, you can keep a running list of all the projects and ideas that come to mind that you really want to accomplish — but add to this list and then stash it away for someday. That way, you have a record of the ideas, but you are clearly delineating that they are for someday, not now.

If the list ever starts to bog you down or make you feel guilty, give yourself permission to literally rip it up and throw it out. You might find this simple exercise is incredibly freeing to you!

4. Allow Lots of Breathing Room

I cannot encourage you enough to plan lots of margin and breathing room in your life right now. Write out a loose routine for each day, but be sure to plan at least a few hours of wiggle room in your day. This can be for you to take a nap, lie down and watch a movie with your toddler, to cuddle with your toddler and look at picture books, or to do something restful.

If you’re anything like me, by planning rest and relaxation as part of your routine, not only will it make your days much calmer, but it will also allow you to kick back and just “be” without the guilt that you really should be doing something else. If you’re tired, take that as a queue to rest and relax!

What advice and tips do the rest of you have for Paige? Share in the comments!

photo credit

I’m so honored that Incourage chose my book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, as one of their recommended reads this month! They asked if they could feature two posts from me this week, so here’s a snippet from my first post called The Day I Stopped Trying to Be Superwoman:

Not too long ago, I was at a mom’s get-together. I don’t remember what we were talking about but, in the middle of the conversation, one of the moms said sheepishly, “Well, actually I have a cleaning lady who comes every other week.”

She looked ashamed to even admit this audibly, but I quickly set her at ease by looking directly in her eyes and saying, “Good for you!”

We women tend to think that unless we’re doing every little thing to run our homes we are failures. We beat ourselves up if we can’t do it all. We feel guilty for even considering bringing in a little outside help on occasion.

I know the feeling because for years I tried to do it all, too. I juggled babies and toddlers and moves and job changes and homemaking and home businesses and financial struggles and potty-training and blogging and friendships and church and exercise and everything else that I thought a good wife, mom, and business owner was supposed to do.

Read the whole post.