I’m honored that Dot Complicated is featuring an interview with me on their site today. Here’s a snippet:
1. We live in a world where we’re addicted to being busy. How was your own busy life affecting your marriage with your husband? What made you turn things around?
Six years into our marriage, I found myself the mother of three young children while also juggling the responsibilities of a very demanding online business. Being a very Type A kind of person, I didn’t want to admit my limitations. So I kept piling on new to-do’s and saying yes to new commitments.
Over time, this led to exhaustion, burnout, and the breakdown of my health. But I pushed ahead, thinking if I’d just get a little more organized or sleep a little less, I’d find a way to balance everything. However, it just wasn’t working: not only were my kids suffering and my health suffering, but my marriage was, too. I was always rushing through my days trying to get through my overwhelming to-do list. And I was constantly too busy to take time to invest in my marriage.
Read the full interview.
Lili Coval says
I have been following you on facebook for a few months now and I love reading your tips and posts. I can totally relate. I have been maried for 6 years and we just had our third child last September. I am in my last semester of nursing school, and am feeling pulled in a million directions everyday. I am a wife, mother, and student, and I don’t feel like I am doing anything superbly. Your posts really inspire me to find a better way. I can’t wait to read your book. Thanks for all that you do!
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for your kind encouragement!
Amanda Plourde says
Hi. I just recently started following and actually wish I has started sooner. Being a very busy stay at home mom who does nearly everything I always say I wish there was a manual! My husband being our only income I use couponin to help. We have 2 amazing boys but I feel sometimes im not doing enough. But ive been told thats the life of a parent these days. 🙁 I know its not something ill probably be able to purchase in the near furture due to finances but I was wondering where exactly I could find your book? Or if there is somewhere online to maybe read a little of it. It would be amazing to have a tool to help me get through some of the harder days I feel defeated.. I guess for lack of a better word. Thank you for taking the time to blog an help others like you do. Some days can make you feel like you’re the only one to struggle while doing it all. Thanks! Amanda from Maine!
Crystal Paine says
If you can email your mailing address to [email protected], I’d love to send you a copy.
Stacey says
I am so overwhelmed with being a newly single mom & raising a little boy with very little income due to an accident. It is so hard to get everything done, & my to do lists carry over from day to day. I wish that I could afford to buy your book as it looks like it would be really helpful. Until then, I’ll continue reading your blog. Thank you for your inspiration!
Jessica says
I cannot wait to read your book!! I have been following your blog since the Biblical Womanhood days, and it’s so wonderful to see how much success you are having! 🙂
Victoria says
So excited about your book I can’t wait to get it!! I am happy I have started following your page. I know a lot of busy, tired moms who could benefit from all your ideas! Thanks
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Tara says
I have been following your blog for over 3 years now and find so much encouragement and ideas. Also congratulations on Say Goodbye to Survival Mode! I am a widowed mom of 2 small boys, so I live in survival mode every day. I am hoping to be able to find a way to get the book as I am sure it would be a good starting point for me to make some much needed changes. Thank you for all your hard work! You deserve the success!
Crystal Paine says
I’d love to send a copy to you! Email me your mailing address: [email protected]
Nicole says
Right now buying this book is a little out of my price range 🙂 But I am enjoying your posts and trying to remember the encouragement. I was wondering, Chrystal, If you had any advice for me in my situation. I have a 3 year old and 2 year old boy and a 5 month girl. I have absolutely no outside commitments. We don’t even go to church at the moment..even though I want to..we have been having issues finding one without something that we really have a problem with. (we live in ny…) It seems like I could spend all day cleaning and organizing..and I will still be unsatisfied with it the next day. Obviously though I can’t spend all day. It seems like I never have enough time to spend with the kids and never have enough time to clean. If I spend the majority of the day trying to pick up and clean and organize and go through stuff..I feel guilty about not spending enough time with the kids. If I just sit back and hang out with the kids..the house looks terrible and I get stressed and I can’t relax. I find myself getting upset with the kids when the house is the mess and I find the kids getting cranky with each other and me when I spend too much time trying to pick up. Part of the problem I think is the fact that we only have one bedroom for all of us. It’s big..(the entire upstairs/”attic” area is one big room). Therefore I can’t put away laundry or pick up upstairs when any of the kids are asleep..so…it often looks like a tornado ran through it. I keep telling myself things will be better when they are more organized..but it seems like it will be an eternity untill that happens..and likely by the time I get everything organized..I will be pregnant again. Help!!
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I’d love to send you a copy of the book! Can you email me your mailing address: [email protected]
Christina Boyd says
How timely was this interview! I’ve seen a few of your blog posts before, but I think I may begin to follow you more! Just yesterday, my facebook status was, “I’m living life in survival mode. I just need a few more hours in the day (preferably, while kids are asleep). That’s not too much to ask, right?.” Obviously, I know, that it is too much to ask and I need to change to get out of that survival mode. So many of the conversations I have had with my husband lately have been how we hardly have any time together because we are forever in a state of (not) catching up. Not catching up on our past due bills, not catching up on laundry, or doing the dishes. It’s so tiring! I am a now a mom of a 3 month old and a 21 month old, and I just want to wake up and know that day will be successful, but mostly, I wake up trying to prepare myself to fail, yet again, with I want to accomplish that day. This book looks perfect for my life right now!
prathee chandar says
Crystal,
Thanks for the article.
FYI – The SayGoodbyetoSurvivalMode.com link at the bottom of the article is not working. Want you to know.
Crystal Paine says
Thanks for letting me know.
Sara says
Would Jesse have any advice for supporting a spouse when he/she is too busy to work on the marriage? My husband works over 60 hours a week and takes on numerous other commitments. He’s rarely home on the weekends as a result of his helping others or working on his start-up business (in addition to his more-than-full-time job).
He’s too tired for date nights and doesn’t have time to talk, and just wants to collapse on the couch when he gets home. What I can do from that end? I’m the exact opposite…always pushing for date nights and putting time into our marriage…any advice for being supportive?
prathee chandar says
How about pampering him with foot massage and at-home-pedicure? My husband travels a lot and I pamper him with foot massage and at-home-pedicure whenever I can.
Sometimes I’ll just go and sit with him. We don’t talk or anything. but just sitting with him and spending some quite time makes the difference.
Becki @Running with Team Hogan says
I have been reading The Love Dare recently and working through the challenges. Really, some of it, I instituted a long time ago. I used to have a husband busy all the time. I prayed for him often. I also prayed for God to change his perspective. I stopped nagging.
We are a long way from that time of his crazy work hours and constant busyness. Praise the Lord. God changed his perspective AND mine. It’s not my job to change him, but to encourage him, help him, pray for him, love him, respect him.
Becki @Running with Team Hogan says
I should say, I also stopped being “so busy” when he got home and decided the work could wait. I would sit on the couch with him if that’s what he wanted to do. 🙂
Beth says
I love seeing your posts on my FB page each day and find very useful tips since we lost my income when I became disabled. Unfortunately, I have not been approved for SSD yet.
I have a different perspective as the daughter of a woman who had to do everything. We moved back to our hometown when our first child was born. My mother was always too busy for baseball, softball and other events. She attended a few things each year where my dad was much more attentive. She would invite kids over but then clean the house the whole time they were there. In short, she never gave them her undivided attention. Now she is retired and still busy running from one thing to another. Trying to be organized and do so much that she just creates chaos. But she is hurt that my daughter is not close to her. Bottom line is you reap what you sow. I hurt for my mother and my daughter. My mother loves her grandchildren but always thought there would be more time. Unfortunately, my daughter needed more when she was little to be close to her now.
The one thing you can never put off until later is nurturing your relationship with children in your life.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for sharing… and I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. 🙁
Ashley says
I have been following your blog for just a few months, and you have been a great help and inspiration for me. I followed your seven day challenge and it was so refreshing.
We are in such a financial mess right now that I can’t afford to purchase this book. But, once we have the ability, I am ordering it!
Thank you for being such an amazing, honest, and truthful woman. Your passion is uplifting.
Congratulations on the great success your book has gotten already.
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for your kind encouragement! Can you email me your mailing address? I’d love to send you a copy.
[email protected]
tina says
I have been following your blog since January 2009 right after I got married. It has been so amazing to see how this blog has grown since then. Good job Crystal!
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for sticking around for so long!