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Tag Archive: The Crystal Paine Show

Cal Newport on Digital Minimalism & why he doesn’t have social media

This week, I got the privilege of interviewing Cal Newport on my podcast. We talked about digital minimalism, deep work, teens and technology, and why he doesn’t have social media accounts.
a photo of Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

Cal Newport on Digital Minimalism

I am super excited to bring you this week’s episode of the podcast… but I have to be honest and tell you that recording this episode was one I was pretty nervous about.

You see, unlike most of my other guests, I didn’t have any relationship with Cal Newport. I didn’t know anyone who knew him. I didn’t know his publisher. And I’d never connected with him on social media (because, as we’ll talk about on the show, he doesn’t have social media!)

It Never Hurts to Ask

When I read his book, Deep Work, at the beginning of 2019, I knew immediately that I wanted to try to have him on the podcast. But since I had read his book and knew how carefully he guards his time and commitments, I figured it would be a long shot for him to even consider coming on my little show.

However, I decided to get brave and send him a compelling email pitching him the opportunity to come on my show. What’s the worst that could happen? He could not answer or he could respond and say no.

To my surprise, not only did I get an email back, but I got an email back with a YES! I was ecstatic and excited and quite nervous to do the interview! But I’m really, really happy with how it turned out (and I don’t even think you can tell I was nervous!)

What We Talked About

I loved the insights Cal shared in this episode! We talked about:

  • What Deep Work can look like for us in our everyday lives (including some special insight for busy moms!)
  • His thoughts on why he doesn’t use social media (which I find fascinating!)
  • How we can make technology serve us well and enrich our lives
  • Why technology might be hurting our kids and what practically we can do about it.

It’s a really important conversation and I highly encourage you to find 30 minutes sometime in the next few days to listen in.

a photo of Crystal Paine with a Contigo cup

(My water tumbler that I talk about on the show.)


In This Episode:

[02:53] – This week, we talk about water tumblers, drinking a gallon of water per day, and inflammatory issues (it sounds like we’re getting old!) in the What’s Saving My Life segment.

[06:55] – My book pick is one that I actually recently re-read (I rarely read books more than once, so you know I really liked it!) and recommend the book, the audiobook, AND the movie!

[09:35] – Did you know you can earn cash back for shopping online? I’ll tell you how!

[10:28] – I introduce today’s guest, Cal Newport and ask Cal to define the difference between Deep Work and Shallow Work. He then talks about how busy women and moms can find time for deep work.

[13:16] – We hear an example of what deep work looks like in practical terms for an everyday woman.

[15:15] – Cal has never had a social media account. He explains his reasoning behind this choice. It’s pretty fascinating!

[18:36] – I ask Cal to share some advice for people like me who don’t ever plan to give up social media but who also find the idea of being a digital minimalist appealing.

[23:08] – We talk about how to raise kids with a healthy view of technology and social media and I share a recent example of a choice we made with our oldest and how that played out in a surprising way!

[26:41] – The question of the week is this: “What’s your easiest tip for saving money?” I talk about saving money on groceries. Jesse talks about goal setting and saving for bigger purchases. And we both discuss budgeting.

[30:54] – Speaking of questions, if you have one you’d like us to answer, email me at crystal@moneysavingmom.com! (Also feel free to get in touch if you have suggestions, thoughts, or comments. I love hearing from you about the podcast!)

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How Myers-Briggs Can Help You Have a Better Marriage

Guess what? I have some big news about a change we’re making going forward with the podcast! Jesse is officially my new co-host on The Crystal Paine Show!

I’ve gotten such great feedback every time he’s been on the show and we have had so much fun recording together, so I’m excited to have him joining me on every episode!

Today’s guest is Meg Tietz is the host of the beloved Sorta Awesome podcast. Meg is really passionate about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and I’m thrilled she agreed to come on the show and share her wisdom on this topic.

Whether you’re a personality type junkie or have no idea what the letters in ENFP or INTJ mean, you’ll definitely come away from this episode with some valuable insights on how understanding our personalities and the personalities of those closest to us can change our relationships and our outlook on life.

In This Episode:

[01:51] – Jesse chats about the trip that he just got back from, and I explain that the house actually didn’t fall apart while he was gone (unlike some of the past trips he’s taken!).

[04:30] – I took off a little over 24 hours after Jesse got back for a sisters’ trip to New York City. 

[06:06] – We chat about an app I recently discovered that is fascinating us and sort of saving both of our lives.

[08:48] – Jesse shares a book update, because he surprised me by having read quite a bit since our last podcast. 

[10:05] – My book of the week is one I started last year (which Jesse has fun teasing me about!): Everybody, Always by Bob Goff.

[13:03] – Through the end of March, you can get our Make Over Your Year course for 50% off!

[15:18] – Meg Tiets of the Sorta Awesome podcast is today’s fantastic guest!

[16:52] – We hear about how Meg discovered the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and why it’s so important to her.

[20:12] – Meg gives a very helpful overview of the Myers-Briggs system for listeners who aren’t familiar with it.

[22:26] – What are Meg’s thoughts on ambiverts? Is it possible to not be a true introvert or extrovert?

[23:22] – We discuss intuition vs. sensing and how it has impacted our marriages in practical ways.

[25:38] – Are you a feeler or a perceiver? Meg explains how this plays out in her marriage and I talk about our marriage, too.

[27:24] – And finally, are you person who prefers to explore all the possibilities or a quick-to-make-a-decision person?

[29:07] – For a listener who wants to find out their type, Meg shares a website she recommends where you can go to take a test to determine your type.

[31:21] – We change gears, with Meg talking about the two books she’s reading right now and how she’s going back to her crunchy roots.

[34:59] – Jesse joins me to answer a listener question on how we encourage/enforce budgeting with our kids and whether we give them an allowance or not.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

The Year My Body Broke Down

a photo of Jesse and Crystal Paine

After last time Jesse was on my podcast, I got a request from a listener asking if he could do more of the talking on the episodes he’s on. He’s actually quite a talker when he feels comfortable in situations (and can give me a run for my money when it comes to talking!), so I loved this request because I think it encouraged him to know that you all enjoy what he has to share and he doesn’t have to feel like he needs to hold back.

So I’m excited that you’ll be hearing more from him in this episode — and in future episodes! (Stay tuned for a fun announcement next week about a change that’s coming to the podcast!)

I asked him if he wanted to share his own “what’s saving my life” suggestion and he brought a great resource this week and it’s something that has helped him spend less time on his phone. We talk about that and about an app I’ve been using that has been so helpful for me, too. 

We also talk about the books we’ve been reading and then we dive into another episode about our story. This time around, we pick up where we had just moved back to Wichita and he started his law firm.

We share some of the pretty cool things that happened to help his law firm get off the ground, we talk about how my sister basically saved us when we had to move and I was middle of morning sickness, we share about our awful flea-infested house, the joys and stresses of that season,

Tune in to hear more about Jesse’s law practice, the move we made during this time (while I was pregnant!), the terrible flea infestation that we had to deal with, and how I pushed way too hard and ended up wrecking my health.


In This Episode:

[02:12] – Ready to hear what’s saving our lives this week? In keeping with the request from a listener, Jesse and I both share today!

[05:35] – Jesse talks in-depth about using the Full Focus Planner and I share why I decided it wouldn’t work for me.

[07:15] – I share about an app I have been using that has been working surprisingly well for me — and saving us money!

[11:07] – What do you know?? Jesse finished a book and has started another one! We talk about what both of us have been reading.

[14:47] – Jesse and I chat more about moving back to Wichita and why Jesse made the decision to start his own law firm.

[17:13] – An attorney who had recently become a judge had to quit his practice and completely floored us by handing over his phone number and ads to Jesse, which opened some big doors for us and became the bread and butter for beginning his business.

[18:38] – Moving back to Wichita was quite the adventure! We laugh about how we always seem to move when I was in the middle of morning sickness. It was only thanks to my sister’s help that we managed to pull off moving this time around.

[22:13] – And then we discovered that the duplex we were going to move into was infested with fleas!! Despite the fleas, we were excited to move back and be close to family. 

[25:16] – However, I was afraid of going back to barely surviving again that I pushed way too hard when it came to my work hours. In fact, when Silas was born, I didn’t take really any time off to recover. All this “pushing through” hurt my health for years to come and I look back and wish I would have made different choices.

[28:22] – God used this breaking down of my body to really strip me of the last vestiges of my self-sufficient legalism and I look back and am grateful that I couldn’t do it all myself… because I had to really learn to rely on the Lord and to ask for help.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

How to Parent a Difficult Child

a photo of Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors

When Jesse and I got married, I tried so hard to fix him. I saw all of his shortcomings, and I wanted to help him be better. Surprise surprise, this caused a lot of tension.

It took a while for me to realize that my job was to focus on myself (and there’s plenty of work to do there) rather than try to change or “fix” other people. This idea goes for our kids, too!

In today’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, I’m talking with Jami Amerine about how easy it is to try to fix our kids and how ineffective and stressful this is as a parent.

Just recently, one of my kids was really frustrated over their grades. While I was trying to ask them questions to figure out the source of their frustration, they blurted out, “But I NEED to get all A’s!”

I stopped and quietly looked them in the eye and said, “Who put that on you?”

As in, where did the feeling that you need to get all A’s originate from? Is that something someone else is making you feel like you have to achieve?

When I talked more with this child, they admitted that it wasn’t us or their siblings or a friend or a teacher; it was their own self. They felt like they weren’t measuring up to a standard they had set for themselves if they didn’t get all A’s.

Mamas, I think most of us have done the same. We’ve created a standard of perfection we feel we must achieve to be a great parent or have a great kid. And if we’re not hitting that self-made standard, we are failing.

But, who put that on you?? While we might sometimes feel like there is pressure from outside sources, in most cases, it’s something we’ve put on ourselves.

And here’s what I want to gently say to you: “You don’t need to carry that any more.”

Lay it down. Let it go.

The sooner you stop trying to live up to an impossible standard, the sooner you’ll start experiencing deep joy and fulfillment in being okay with right where you are.

As I told my child, “So long as you are doing your best, that’s all that matters.”

If you are struggling with parenting or need some encouragement as a mom, you do want to miss today’s episode on the secret to being a more peaceful parent (it will likely surprise you!), the importance of raising your kids to be who they are instead of who we think they should be, and how to love a difficult child.

In This Episode:

[03:26] – What’s saving my life this week is my very favorite Apple battery case. I’m constantly asked about this when I’m with people and I am always singing the praises of it!

[05:21] – My book pick of the week is an oldie but a goodie: Dear Mr. Knightley by Katherine Reay.

[09:50] – Today’s guest was actually recommended by a podcast listener and I’m so grateful this listener took the time to write in and recommend Jami Amerine’s book.

[11:56] – I ask Jami about her early years of parenting and how she struggled with perfectionism. She shares honestly about the lessons she learned from this.

[15:17] – How was Jami able to let go of trying to do everything perfectly? She expresses so much wisdom for all of us — but especially for those who still have younger kids.

[19:04] – I was intrigued by the subtitle of Jami’s book and she tells the story behind it and how it wasn’t what she picked… but how we both think it fits so well. 

[23:20] – What is Jami reading right now? I love her outside-the-box answer!

[24:44] – And then she shares how she’s giving up sugar (and also gives us a little teaser about her next book that she’s writing… that I want to read ASAP!)

[27:58] – Today’s listener question is about emotionally adjusting to the reality of giving up being a stay-at-home mom for a new lifestyle.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

YNAB Platforms

Sponsor Spotlight

This episode is sponsored by YouNeedaBudget.com — the budgeting software we have personally used for the past two years and absolutely love.

We were introduced to this budgeting software by my brother-in-law, Justin, a few years ago. He and my husband, Jesse, are both what I would lovingly refer to as “nerds”.

You know the kind of people… those people who think spreadsheets are fun. And who geek out over features in Excel. Yup, those kinds of people.

You might as well poke my eyeballs out with a hot iron rod than get to me be giddy over creating spreadsheets. But nevertheless, I love Spreadsheet Nerds because they help keep people like me in line and on track! 

Anyway, it was around Christmas time and Justin started telling Jesse about YouNeedaBudget — what we call YNAB for short. Jesse and I had both heard of this software before, but we had been using Quicken for so long that we’d not considered changing to anything else.

Well, when Jesse saw the features of YNAB, he was intrigued enough to sign up for the free trial. And it was pretty much love at first sight.

Truthfully, I can’t even begin to tell you how often I’ve heard him exclaiming to me, to friends, or just to himself something about, “How cool and helpful YNAB is!”

I’m such a pen and paper and cash girl, but after all his raving reviews, I finally gave in and downloaded it on my phone and had him show me how it works. It’s really, really impressive. I love how we can see exactly how we’re doing in every budget in just one glance.

And since we have multiple budgets for our businesses and personal, it allows us to track them all in one app. Which is so handy!

They usually only offer a 30-day trial, but they are giving you all a FREE 60-day trial so you can really get a feel for it and see how well it works. 

Go here to sign up for your FREE 60-Day YNAB trial.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Answering your burning questions

This week on The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I are doing a fun episode together answering your burning questions. Listen to previous episodes of The Crystal Paine Show here.

a photo of Jesse and Crystal Paine

Guess what? We’re trying something different for today’s episode!

So many of you have asked such great questions and I haven’t had a chance to answer many of them, so today’s episode is completely devoted to answering your burning questions!

Jesse is joining me and we’re answering them together — and neither of us prepped anything ahead of time so these are totally on the fly!

One of the questions is about picking a new hobby. Mine would involve either a spinning wheel or sports. (Those probably sound pretty dramatically different!)

We’ll also chat about what we like about living in Tennessee, and why the rain amazed us so much the first time we saw it here.

We talk about our favorite desserts AND how to develop the willpower to cut back on (or eliminate) sugar. The answer depends a lot on whether you’re internally motivated (like me) or externally motivated (like Jesse).

Tune in to hear about all these things, as well as what career we would choose if we weren’t doing what we do, our worst financial decision ever, our favorite date nights, life without a credit card, whether I’ve ever not followed through with something (hint: YES!), and whether we’ve talked to our kids about dating or courting.

If you’d like for us to do another episode like this again in the future, let me know!

In This Episode:

[01:19] – If we had to pick a new hobby, what would it be?

[04:21] – What’s our favorite thing about living in Tennessee?

[06:49] – Am I really supposed to pick just one favorite dessert?!

[08:23] – The next question was about tips on developing the willpower to cut back on sugar. (Oops! Maybe this one shouldn’t have come right after the question about dessert??)

[13:30] – If we had to choose a different career, what would we choose?

[16:40] – We talk about the worst financial decision we’ve ever made, and what we learned from it.

[20:01] – We’ve been asked a lot about how we manage to live without a credit card. We share what we’ve learned and we discuss why I’ve chosen not to have a credit card while Jesse does have one now.

[24:45] – Is there anything we’ve started and not followed through with? Oh yes! We laugh about how much we’ve learned when it comes to goal-setting.

[28:35] – A lot of people have asked if we’ve talked to our kids about dating and courtship and how we’re planning to approach this with our kids. We share some really candid thoughts on this — and they might surprise you!

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

How to Be Brave

I was kind of giddy about doing today’s interview… because I had listened to Melissa Radke’s audiobook, Eat Cake, Be Brave, and had fallen in love with her hilarious, tell-it-like-it-is honesty and couldn’t wait to get to talk to her in person (well, it was actually over Skype, but that was a big step up from just listening to her on audiobook!)

In our conversation, we dig deep into bravery, forgiveness, and rising above negativity. As Melissa explains, bravery doesn’t always mean jumping out of a plane, scaling Everest, or not feeling fear or nervousness in your everyday life.

Instead, being brave means to just keep showing up, even when things get hard. And she definitely understands things being hard! She’s gone through a lot of disappointment, hurt, loss, and heartache in her life. But she hasn’t let those hold her back from continuing to show up.

You won’t want to miss this powerful episode with a truly incredible guest. If you’ve been struggling with forgiveness, fear, anxiety, insecurity, and trying to be brave (and don’t we all struggle with those things sometimes?), I think Melissa’s wisdom will truly touch you deeply and offer you practical encouragement and inspiration on how to move forward.

In This Episode:

[01:57] – I talk about what’s saving my life this week: how I’m making time for reading. Listen in for my tips on how I’m typically fitting in 30-60 minutes of reading every day. Hopefully it will give you some ideas on how you, too, can fit in more reading time! 

[04:16] – This parenting book is one I can’t stop talking about — and truly loved!

[07:46] – I think you are going to LOVE today’s guest, Melissa Radke! She is hilarious but is also such a truth-teller.

[11:14] – Melissa talks about bravery, how she’s facing her fears right now, and how she still struggles with being brave. She lets us in on what bravery looks like for her and the hard-won lessons she’s learned on how to be brave.

[14:18] – One of the parts of the book that was deeply moving to me was when Melissa shares about forgiving the woman who had an emotional affair with her husband. This woman also happened to be her very best friend. She shares openly about what this was like to walk through this — and to write about it in the book.

[19:25] – Melissa offers powerful words to women who are struggling to hold onto their dreams and goals despite critical words being directed at them.

[23:50] – We change gears to a much more lighthearted tone and talk about a book Melissa is reading that she assumed many other guests have talked about. (Surprise! No one has!)

[24:34] – And then we talk about bacon and air fryers… and you just might need to order one after you hear this part of the podcast! 🙂

[27:04] – Today’s Q&A question comes from Jeanette, who wants to know how to get teens to keep their room clean. I give some caveats before I share my thoughts on this!

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

YNAB Platforms

Sponsor Spotlight

This episode is sponsored by YouNeedaBudget.com — the budgeting software we have personally used for the past two years and absolutely love.

We were introduced to this budgeting software by my brother-in-law, Justin, a few years ago. He and my husband, Jesse, are both what I would lovingly refer to as “nerds”.

You know the kind of people… those people who think spreadsheets are fun. And who geek out over features in Excel. Yup, those kinds of people.

You might as well poke my eyeballs out with a hot iron rod than get to me be giddy over creating spreadsheets. But nevertheless, I love Spreadsheet Nerds because they help keep people like me in line and on track! 

Anyway, it was around Christmas time and Justin started telling Jesse about YouNeedaBudget — what we call YNAB for short. Jesse and I had both heard of this software before, but we had been using Quicken for so long that we’d not considered changing to anything else.

Well, when Jesse saw the features of YNAB, he was intrigued enough to sign up for the free trial. And it was pretty much love at first sight.

Truthfully, I can’t even begin to tell you how often I’ve heard him exclaiming to me, to friends, or just to himself something about, “How cool and helpful YNAB is!”

I’m such a pen and paper and cash girl, but after all his raving reviews, I finally gave in and downloaded it on my phone and had him show me how it works. It’s really, really impressive. I love how we can see exactly how we’re doing in every budget in just one glance.

And since we have multiple budgets for our businesses and personal, it allows us to track them all in one app. Which is so handy!

They usually only offer a 30-day trial, but they are giving you all a FREE 60-day trial so you can really get a feel for it and see how well it works. 

Go here to sign up for your FREE 60-Day YNAB trial.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!