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Tag Archive: The Crystal Paine Show

How to Find Couple Friends

Do you wish you could find couple friends? In this episode, Jesse and I are joined by two other couples who are dear friends to us to talk about community, vulnerability, and how to build closer friendships.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

The Lie That I Didn’t Know How to Be a Good Friend

For years, I believed the lie that I didn’t know how to be a good friend. Because of some past hurt and rejection, I told myself that I was a disappointment to those closest to me.

I let this lie become my truth and I built a thick barricade around myself to keep other women at arm’s length. I was self-protecting… and when anyone would get too close, I’d pull back.

I didn’t realize I was doing any of this, of course. I just thought that I struggled to make friends and felt lonely much of the time.

All this changed when Jamie and Lauren entered my life. They’ve pressed in, even when I’ve wanted to pull back. They’ve loved me even when I’ve tried to self-protect.

These two women have been such gifts to my life and have taught me so much about what true local friendship looks like and how amazing it can be.

Three Important Lessons on Friendship

Here are three lessons they have taught me:

1) Focus on loving others well. Stop worrying about whether you’re doing it right or wrong; just love others, really wholeheartedly love them.

2) Show up — even when it’s really inconvenient. Relationships will not fit into neat little boxes and they will require you to step out, step up, and be stretched far outside your comfort zone. Show up anyway.

3) Lean in — even when it’s awkward. Beautiful relationships never happen without awkward moments. Invite that person over, even if you don’t know what you’ll find to talk about for an hour. Volunteer to serve at church or go to that event, even if you don’t know anyone. It will be awkward. Expect it to be. But the more you lean in to people and relationships despite the awkwardness and show up anyway, the more chances there are that you are going to begin to develop deeper relationships.

Thank you, Jamie and Lauren, for loving me so well and teaching me so much about friendship. For believing the best about me. For pursuing me — even when I wanted to self-protect and had believed lies about how, “I’m not good at relationships.”

Thank you for letting me show up just as I am. For speaking the truth to me when I need to hear it. For making me laugh until I cry. For listening to me vent. For walking with me through heartbreak and devastating news. For constantly checking in on me and caring about me. And for helping me to begin to believe that I’m capable of being a really great friend.

Thank you for being the answer to many, many prayers I’ve had for real, authentic relationships.

How Do You Find Couple Friends?

I never dreamed when we started Discipleship group two years ago just how much you would change my life. And little did I ever imagine that our husbands would also become great friends!

I’m so honored that Jamie and Lauren and their husbands were willing to do something way outside their comfort zone and record a podcast with Jesse and me recently answering the question that one of you all asked, “How do you find couple friends?”

This is a different type of podcast — it’s a little more like sitting at the table with us listening in on our conversation. There is a lot of laughter, teasing, and real-ness.

I hope that this discussion will encourage you to think of ways you can dive deeper into relationships, even if it scares you! I can 100% promise you that it is worth the effort!

In This Episode:

[01:23] – Meet our couple friends — Brian & Lauren and Drew & Jamie.

[04:47] – Lauren shares how we all met and clicked in our Discipleship Group.

[06:39] – Jamie talks about why she continued to pursue the friendship with Lauren and me, even though I put up some big walls at first.

[08:00] – “It is so powerful to have someone pursue and not give up.”

[09:21] – The guys jump in with their experiences in building their friendship and how their friendship has evolved.

[12:32] – Discipleship helped form our friendship, but prioritizing each other and making time each week has solidified the bond.

[14:10] – Brian talks about how digging in and creating roots in friendship has helped their family.

[16:00] – Don’t make the friendship too complicated! Take out the expectations and just enjoy each other. Our friendship really deepened when we committed to a fun activity of going to Tuesday night trivia every week.

[18:22] – We all discuss why they think having friends is so important.

[20:47] – When you build your friendships, you also have a support system when times are hard.

[23:14] – We delve into what makes our friendship work. Prioritizing and intentionality are two keys.

[27:00] – What advice would you give someone who is looking to build close couple friendships? Friendship looks like getting out of your comfort zone to touch the lives of other people.

Links and Resources

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How Foster Parenting Has Changed Our Lives

Have you ever thought about foster parenting? In this episode, my local friend, Fran, joins me to talk about how fostering has impacted their family in ways they never expected.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

How Foster Parenting Has Changed Our Lives

On this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show podcast, not only do Jesse and I share some fun book updates, a hilarious podcast review we received, and something that’s saving my life, but I also am joined in studio by one of my dear local friends!

Fran Maynard and I got to know each other well over the past few years as our families were in Community Group together. Then, she and I got even closer two years ago as we were in a small group in our church’s Discipleship Program. This past year, Fran and I also had the privilege of leading a small group together through the Discipleship Program.

A Front Row Seat on This Beautiful Journey

During the past two years, I got to have a front row seat in watching Fran and her family go through the training and interviews required to become foster parents. Then, I’ve seen them open their home and hearts to a sweet little girl (see the precious blonde toddler in the photo above?) and also become passionate about the great need in our community.

As I have seen Fran’s heart expand, as I’ve witnessed how this journey has impacted their family in such beautiful ways, as I’ve watched her advocate for children who need a temporary or permanent home and family, my heart has been deeply touched. And it has deeply impacted our family in ways we never expected (more on that story in the months to come!)

In today’s episode, I asked Fran to share more of her story and how foster parenting has changed their families lives in ways they could have never dreamed or imagined. I hope that her words inspire and touch you as they have inspired and touched me.

Whether you have any interest in fostering at all, I urge you to listen to this episode and prayerfully consider where you are being called to step out in faith and obedience to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others — whether it is signing up for foster parenting classes, coming alongside other foster parents, advocating for children who are in the foster care system, helping walk with families who are struggling, serving single parents, or reaching out and serving in a completely different capacity.

In This Episode:

[03:32] – Jesse did it! He inspired me to listen to the Killing Lincoln Audiobook by Bill O’Reilly & Martin Dugard.

[06:20] – Dear Bob & Sue, the book I actually picked to tell you about this week, chronicles the authors’ visits to all 58 (at the time) national parks. It is hilarious and made me want to go visit a lot of national parks — something I’ve never thought I’d want to do!

[08:26] – What’s saving my life this week? My eye mask! I talk about why I started using it, when I use it, and how it helps.

[10:33] – We are doing a #100DaysofSummerFun Family Challenge this summer! Check out my Instagram account to see all the fun activities we do! 

[12:29] – Meet my wonderful friend Fran, learn how we met, and hear about their path to foster.

[14:11] – Fran shares with us a little bit about her childhood, her journey, and how it affected her decision to foster.

[16:18] – I ask Fran how they were first led to consider fostering and whether they had fear going into it.

[19:46] – The biggest surprise for Fran and her family in this process was the unbelievably positive response from their kids and their community. The hardest part? All the unknowns. The most beautiful part? The growth that their children have seen in their hearts and their faith.

[24:14] – We talk about the great need for willing and able to foster families in every community and Fran shares some words of wisdom and recommendations for those who may want to foster in the future.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Are you willing to give up what’s making you sick?

Want to know more about the Discipleship Program I’m always talking about? In this episode, I bring on our pastor to share more about why he started the program, some of the key truths in it, and how it has impacted Jesse’s life and my life!

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Thank you to @sarahmaewrites for this truth bomb quote.

“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6)

Three years ago, I was sitting at a session in our church’s Discipleship Program and I heard our pastor ask this question and I almost started crying right on the spot.

I knew I was unhealthy. I knew something wasn’t right right. But I didn’t know what was wrong or how to fix it.

But in faith, I said, “Yes!” Whatever it took. Whatever it meant. I wanted to get well.

I didn’t know what that “yes” was going to cost me. How I was going to have to let go of years of unhealthy patterns, unhealthy behaviors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and codependent relationships.

But I’m here to tell you it was all worth it. It was hard. It was painful. And it changed my life.

(A photo I took from the most recent women’s Discipleship Retreat.)

(A page from my Discipleship Curriculum book.)

This is my third year of being in this intensive Discipleship Program at our church. And I am a completely different person.

I don’t live in bondage to insecurity and fear. I don’t need the approval of others to feel validated. I’ve stopped believing so many lies and have replaced them with truths.

I no longer need to impress people or exhaust myself trying to get people to like me. And I have begun to walk in the immense freedom that comes when you live as loved.

And I stand here gently whispering to anyone who feels like I felt three years ago, “Do you want to get well?”

On today’s podcast episode, I’m honored to have our pastor on to share more about his story, what prompted him to start this Discipleship Program over 7 years ago, and some of the life-changing truths Jesse and I have learned in it.

If you’ve ever wondered more about this program I’ve mentioned OR you are just feeling stuck, lethargic, and emotionally unhealthy, please do not miss this episode!

In This Episode:

[00:25] – Welcome back to the Crystal Paine Show! I give a little backstory about today’s guest, our pastor Eric Hoffman.

[03:37] – The first six months after we moved were a low point for Jesse. He struggled to find his worth outside of his work.

[06:36] – Being part of the Discipleship Program at our church is truly what God used to radically shift his perspective and understanding of God. It also helped him uncover and discover his giftings and the way he is wired.

[08:29] -I share how I was very reluctant to sign up for the Discipleship Program and talk about how exhausting and hard it was for me to go through it the first year. And yet, ultimately, it ended up changing my life in powerful ways. And then, Jesse and I have both had the opportunity to lead small groups through the program the last few years.

[10:36] – Eric takes us back to his less-compassionate days, and explains what brought him to where he is today.

[14:08] – We hear a story about Eric’s conversation with a friend in a coffee shop.

[16:12] – How did Eric manage to keep living out of the truths of what he had learned in day-to-day life?

[19:11] – I talk about how much the program has changed not only my life, but also those of the women I’ve gotten to walk through it with.

[22:37] – What are some first steps that people can take to get out of living in a rut? Eric shares a lot of practical tools and resources here.

[32:54] – Eric leaves us with a great idea of something that he and his wife do with their kids at the dinner table to teach them how to express their emotions in a healthy way.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

Want to know what it’s like to be married to a strong woman? Jesse and I have been married for over 16 years and we’ve learned a lot through trial and error. In this podcast episode, we share our best advice, hard-won lessons, and practical tips for working through your differences in marriage.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

Jesse surprised me as we were prepping for this week’s podcast episode by telling me he had recently deleted Facebook off of his phone. I had no idea that he had, but I had noticed he has been knocking things off his to do list right and left.

In this episode, we not only talk about boundaries we’ve set for our phones, a book we are reading, and recent travels. Plus, we tackle a somewhat hot-button topic that multiple listeners requested: How our marriage works since I have such a strong personality.

Working Through Conflict Live on the Podcast

As we start discussing the topic, we actually offer a perfect unplanned example of how we work through conflict and misunderstanding — because I began this segment by saying something that rubbed Jesse the wrong way.

He and I walk through this together, talk about how it made him feel, what I was trying to communicate, and how I could have said it better. We then go on to discuss what we’ve learned in the past 16 years of our marriage and how we make it work, even when we disagree.

We end up with (again, unintentionally!) sharing the ABC’s of a healthy marriage: acknowledge your weaknesses, believe the best about your spouse, and communicate your hearts.

In This Episode:

[02:33] – Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and a big special shout-out to those who have left reviews. I read a kind review that a listener recently left for the show. (Psst! I love it when you leave reviews and we may read your review on a future episode!)

[03:30] – We talk about what’s saving our lives these days. I was so inspired by Jesse’s answer. In fact, I changed what I was planning to share as a result!

[09:47] – My book pick this week is one that my sister recommended: The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris. Have you read it?

[14:38] – Are you interested in blogging? Curious about starting? I’d love to have you join me in my free blogging class!

[15:43] – I explain what Jesse and I will do in our episodes now that we’re done sharing our story, and introduce today’s topic. We then accidentally demonstrate this dynamic ourselves.

[20:00] – This example illustrates that it’s important for me to recognize that I tend to say things that make Jesse feel run over.

[22:20] – In the context of our marriage, what has helped Jesse not feel bull dozed by my strong personality. We talk about keys we’ve learned for better communicating and why it’s so important to recognize your differences and acknowledge when you feel hurt or shut down.

[32:29] – We also offer some simple steps to a healthier marriage: acknowledge your weaknesses, believe the best about your spouse, and communicate your hearts.

[33:18] – Today’s Q&A question is this: “What are some good questions to ask the person you’re dating?” We share suggestions ranging from finances to personality type to praying together.

[40:19] – If you have any questions, suggestions, feedback, or a topic you want us to talk about in the future, send me an email at crystal@moneysavingmom.com!

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

What it’s like to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Wonder what it’s like to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? In this week’s podcast episode, Anne Bogel and I discuss what it’s like to be HSP, how it has changed our life to understand this, and why we are so passionate about this topic.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

a group of friends on a beach

Last time we recorded an episode for The Crystal Paine Show, we had just gotten back from Kansas. And this time, we just got back from Destin, Florida!

It was our first time there (can you believe it?), and we had an amazing trip. We haven’t gone on a long road trip by ourselves since our honeymoon, and even though it was a little bit weird to be in the car for six hours by ourselves, I’m so thankful that we got to go!

anne bogel

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?

Today’s guest on the show is the amazing Anne Bogel, who you may remember from an earlier episode! (She’s actually the first second-time guest on the show.)

We had such a fantastic conversation that Jesse and I didn’t want you to miss a single minute of it, so we skipped our usual segments of the show to make room for the whole interview.

Anne and I are both Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs). Now before you just think that means someone is overly sensitive or emotional, do yourself a favor and listen to the episode. At least 15-20% of people are HSP — many just don’t know it!

Even If You’re Not HSP, You Need to Listen!

I didn’t know this about myself until I learned it through reading Anne’s book Reading People. When I read her chapter on Highly Sensitive People and realized that she was exactly describing me, it changed my life! All of a sudden I understood why I big crowds drained me, loud noises over-stimulated me, certain fabrics of shirts were incredibly annoying, and why I can’t function well if my house is a mess.

We’ll start off by talking about how Anne came across this concept, and how it helped her regain a sense of control and improving her own life experience. We’ll also dig into the impact that being an HSP can have (some of the struggles as well as the perks!) and how to tell if you’re an HSP.

Even if you’re not a Highly Sensitive Person, don’t miss this amazing conversation! You’ll likely identify someone close to you who is and it will help you have a better understanding of how to love them and interact with them (and maybe not think they are just high maintenance or needy!)

In This Podcast Episode:

[00:25] – Jesse and I discuss how weird (and fun) it was to go on our first road trip by ourselves (without kids) in years.

[04:10] – This episode will be a little bit different because I ended up having such a long conversation with Anne Bogel that we decided to make the interview the focus of the episode. 

[04:56] – I (re)introduce Anne and ask her to share about her new podcast that just launched! Check it out at One Great Book.

[09:14] – When did Anne first learn about the concept of Highly Sensitive People (HSP)? She talks about when the light bulb went off for her and how discovering this idea changed things for her and helped her regain a sense of control.

[15:26] – Anne and I discuss our greatest struggles and greatest strengths as a Highly Sensitive Person.

[21:19] – I can’t watch certain movies or listen to certain kinds of news, because it will be too heavy and too much for me. Anne shares how she can’t write when there is music playing with words.

[22:17] – We talk about the best way to determine whether you’re HSP, or whether one of your kids or friends might be? (“When you know, you know,” Anne explains. “HSPs often don’t even need the test.”)

30:38] – What is Anne reading right now?

[32:16] – Anne talks about what’s saving her life right now: walking to work (even though she works at home!).

[34:39] – Did you enjoy that conversation as much as I did? Do you have any questions, comments, or feedback? Get in touch by email at crystal@moneysavingmom.com!

Links and Resources From Today’s Podcast:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How to Save Time in the Kitchen

Want to save time in the kitchen? In this podcast episode, Lisa Burns shares her tried and true tips for feeding your family yummy meals without spending a lot of time in the kitchen.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.


(Listen to the episode for the story behind this photo!)

Today’s episode of The Crystal Paine show not only includes details on our whirlwind trip to Kansas, my thoughts on buying markdowns, a book I loved recently, a new book Jesse is reading, but it also includes a very practical interview with Lisa Burns from This Pilgrim Life.

Lisa Burns Cookbook

I first connected with today’s guest, Lisa Burns, when she signed up for my four-week blog coaching class. It’s been so fun to watch her blog and social media take off since that class — and she’s now known as an Instant Pot expert and she has a cookbook coming out in May!

As she admits in our conversation, she didn’t know how to cook until after she got married (and didn’t even eat vegetables as a child). As a busy mom of five herself, she’s full of wisdom and tips for getting delicious meals on the table even when your schedule is packed.

We talk about menu-planning, why an Instant Pot might change your life, her favorite quick and easy recipes, some fascinating behind-the-scenes details of her cookbook photo shoot (including how she make 76 recipes in a few days in her Instant Pots!!) Plus, of course, two books she’s reading and what’s saving her life.

In This Podcast Episode:

[03:20] – Jesse and I are in the middle of a kind of packed travel season. We just got back from a quick trip to visit family in Kansas for Easter. While we were in Kansas, we took the kids to Spangles.

[06:01] – This episode might have a LOT of food talk… maybe it was because Jesse and I were both hungry when we recorded it! We talk about how Kroger markdowns save us so much money and provide an endless stream of variety in our diet.

[08:58] – Jesse finished his book and started a new one!! Tune in to listen to what he started reading + a book I finished last week.

[13:14] – Lisa talks about her family and her journey through learning to cook from scratch and how she didn’t even know how to cook when she got married.

[17:19] – I ask Lisa to share some of her best strategies for menu-planning and cooking from scratch when her schedule is packed.

[21:51] – Lisa chats about why she’s so passionate about the Instant Pot, even though she calls herself a “kitchen minimalist.” She also tells us about some of her favorite recipes from her cookbook and blog — yum! (By the way, if you think the Instant Pot is just for cooking soup or rice or main dishes, guess again. Lisa makes cake, bread dough, yogurt and more in her Instant Pot!)

[26:22] – How many Instant Pots does Lisa have, and how many did she use when making 76 recipes in just a few days for the photo shoot for her cookbook?

[27:37] – Lisa shares about two books she’s reading and finding insightful + she shares what’s saving her life right now.

Podcast Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!