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Shared Dec 21, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Days 19 & 20

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 21, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 19 & 20 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

This weekend, I want to encourage you to do something to bless someone else… whether that’s someone in your neighborhood, volunteering at a local shelter, visiting a shut-in, writing a card, calling a friend who’s struggling, or just taking time to provide a listening ear to someone.

Day 19 & 20 Project

1. Finish reading Celebrating & Savoring a Simple Christmas. (Did you sign up for your free copy yet? If not, click here and fill out the form to be emailed a copy.)

2. Choose one person to bless in some way — large or small — over the next 24 hours.

3. Also, take some time to just stop and enjoy your Sunday — even if it’s just 5 minutes of quiet or taking time to write down blessings from this past week. Step back and refresh, relax, and refuel. Life doesn’t always need to be lived at breakneck speed!

Shared Dec 20, 2013 comment

What To Do When You Disappoint Yourself

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 20, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Kristin left this comment on my post on What To Do When You Disappoint Someone:

Honestly, it’s myself that I am always disappointed with; I wish I were friendlier, skinnier, and less grey. I go to bed every night feeling like I’ve failed my children and my husband and my Lord, random strangers on the internet, and probably my in-laws, too.

But I’m just not perfect. Not even half the time. I’ve been trying to ease up on that internal critic lately and I think I’ve been sleeping better. -Kristin

Kristin, can I just tell you that you are so not alone in this? I spent years of my life disappointed with myself… that I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, eloquent enough, confident enough, and on and on it went. No matter what I did or didn’t do, I’d be frustrated with myself that it wasn’t enough.

I’d regularly think, “If only I were more this or that, then people would like me.” I was my own worst critic for years and I wholeheartedly believed the lies that my head told me that I wasn’t good enough.

What you believe determines how you live and these beliefs held me back from so many different things. From close friendships, from opportunities, from stepping outside my comfort zone, and much more. I lived in fear, guilt, insecurity, and shame, always feeling like I didn’t measure up and was a perpetual failure.

The past few years have been years of major transformation for me. It wasn’t an overnight change, but a gradual process of growing and healing. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been so good.

Also? It’s incredibly encouraging to realize that I’m not the same girl I was a few years ago. Yes, I might still struggle with insecurity from time to time (and if you read this post, you’ll know that I’m definitely a work in progress!), but I feel much more healed and whole.

I no longer see myself as a misfit who isn’t good enough. Instead, I believe with all my heart that I’m beautiful in God’s eyes. I know in the depths of my soul that He’s created me for a specific purpose. In Him, I’m whole, loved, and 100% enough.

I don’t have to strive to be someone I’m not. I don’t have to work hard to change my personality. I am enough… exactly as I am.

This new-found confidence and wholeness has permeated all areas of my life. It’s inspired me to step outside my comfort zone and love doing things I thought I would never, ever, ever do (hello, public speaking!).

It’s produced so much more depth of joy and fulfillment in the my life. And, best of all, it’s given me courage to be authentic and vulnerable in relationships. This has resulted some really deep and dear friendships with people who love me for exactly who I am and who challenge and encourage me to be the best version of me I can be.

Here are some specific things that have helped me on this journey:

1. Recognize the Lies

The biggest transformation started for me when I began to call out the lies I was allowing to swirl around in my head. “I don’t measure up.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m a failure.” “No one likes me.”

These are all things I’ve allowed myself to believe in the past… and every single one of them is a lie. That’s a strong word, but when I began to recognize these things as lies, it started me on the path to being able to change the way I viewed myself.

2. Refuse to Believe the Lies

I made a commitment two years ago to stop believing the lies. For me, this meant that every time a thought popped into my head that was something about me not being good enough or being a failure, I immediately made myself say, “That’s a lie.”

There was something utterly life-impacting in naming these statements as lies instead of believing them and allowing them to taunt me as truths. This exercise caused me to stop beating myself up over something that wasn’t true.

3. Replace the Lies

It’s not enough to just recognize the lies and refuse to believe them. I had to take it one step further and replace these lies with truth.

It might sound silly or weird, but I actually make myself speak phrases of truth any time I start hearing lies swirling in my head. If I start to think, “I’m just not talented enough.” I’d immediately make myself say, “No, that’s a lie.” And then replace that lie with a truth.

So in that particular case, I might say something like, “I may not have the gifts that so-and-so does, but God has gifted me in these areas. He loves me just the way I am and wants me to embrace who He has made me to be instead of wishing I had different gifts and talents.”

This simple act has revolutionized my thought life — and my entire life. It was a lot of work at first, but it has now become second nature to me to replace the lies with truth. Not only that, but I’ve realized that I’ve had a lot fewer lies swirling around in my head because I know and believe the truth in the core of my being.

What you think determines how you act. So make sure that you are filling your mind up with truth… and that truth with set you free! Free to no longer live in shame, guilt, and insecurity but to walk in confidence, fulfillment, and joy.

Note: If you struggle with insecurity and/or guilt, I encourage you to get a copy of my new book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode. In it, I share my story of hitting rock bottom as a result of trying to please and impress people. The book not only chronicles my personal struggles and journey over the past few years, but gives you practical and actionable steps you can take to replace your own fears and insecurity with confidence. Pre-order your copy here.

Shared Dec 20, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 18 {Update}

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 20, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 18 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Today, I encouraged those of you who are married to do something special for your spouse.

In honor of this week’s post on Love Notes To Your Husband, I wrote a love note to Jesse today. He always loves it when I do this — especially because one of his love languages is words of affirmation. 🙂

We’re also planning an at-home movie date tonight after we go look at Christmas lights as a family. We’re both looking forward to it!

If you’re married, did you do something special for your spouse today? If so, tell us about it in the comments or share the link to your blog post (if you’re blogging about the challenge).

Shared Dec 20, 2013 comment

How I Save on Groceries By Shopping at Salvage Grocery Stores

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 20, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Cate emailed in the following tip:

I wanted to share with MoneySavingMom.com readers about one of the primary ways I save money on groceries for my family: salvage grocery stores.

You know, the little clearance sections you sometimes see at your local chain grocery store? Imagine a whole store of that!

For those who don’t know, salvage grocery stores (sometimes referred to as outlet, clearance, or discount grocery stores) carry items that regular grocery stores are not willing or able to sell. Salvage grocery stores will buy these items at a fraction of the cost and sell them to their customers at prices that are often half or less than what the original retail price was.

Some examples of what you will find at a salvage grocery store are:

Foods with damaged packaging

Foods at, near, or sometimes past the “best by” date

Items that a store has discontinued

Overstock

There are some crazy good deals to be had at salvage stores, but if you’re anything like I was at first, you have to adapt your mindset. The first time I went to a salvage grocery store, I had to get over the “ew” factor. But let me just say, that problem was pretty much entirely in my mind… and for the most part, unwarranted.

There are some grocery salvage stores out there that are every bit as nice as regular grocery stores, but it’s not unusual to find a salvage grocery store that looks a little run down and maybe even smells a little funky. You are doing yourself a favor to get over your apprehension and check it out anyway. Many of these places can’t afford to have slick decor or an espresso bar; but when you see the prices, you’ll be glad to know you’re passing those things up for good reason.

Salvage grocery stores are making good use out of foods that don’t meet the standards of regular stores. I frequently find items that have absolutely no apparent problem with them and aren’t even close to expiring.

Salvage grocery stores seem to always have an abundance of organic and gluten-free items, as well as conventional items. So even if you’re not in it to pinch pennies necessarily, you can take your normal grocery budget and drastically increase the quality of food you’d otherwise buy.

Just remember to use common sense, read up in expiration dates, and examine the foods carefully as you shop. These grocery stores are great places to support — see if there’s a salvage grocery store near you! -Cate

Shared Dec 20, 2013 comment

Chocolate Éclair Dessert

Published: by MSM Team on December 20, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Guest post from Brigette Shevy

This was my mom’s go-to recipe to serve to company! For years, we had people over every single Friday night. More often than not, we served this scrumptious layered dessert. The recipe came from a longtime friend of my mom, and I can assure you that it’s a definite winner!

Chocolate Éclair Dessert is perfect to serve at/bring to holiday gatherings! It makes a large pan and can be made up ahead of time. Plus, even though it’s really easy to make (my 7-year-old can almost do it by herself!), it looks and tastes much more elaborate.

The rich chocolate layer compliments the light creamy filling, creating an mouthwatering balance that keeps people coming back for seconds (or even thirds and fourths – at least that’s what happened the last time I brought it to a get-together!).

No matter what day of the year you serve this dessert, be prepared to take recipe requests, receive rave reviews, and be left with an empty pan!

Chocolate Éclair Dessert

1 box of graham crackers (you won’t use quite all of it)
2 3-ounce packages instant french vanilla pudding mix
3 cups milk
8 ounces Cool Whip or whipping cream, whipped
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate squares (if you prefer a dark chocolate flavor, use 4 ounces)
3 Tablespoons butter
2 Tablespoons corn syrup
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
3 Tablespoons milk

Line the bottom of a 9×13 pan with graham crackers. In a mixing bowl, mix together the pudding mix and milk until thick.

Fold in the whipped topping. Spread half of the pudding mixture on top of the graham crackers. Top with another layer of graham crackers. Spread remaining pudding on top of crackers and top with another layer of crackers.

Melt the chocolate and butter in a saucepan over low heat (this also works in the microwave). Add remaining ingredients and mix to spreading consistency (I use a hand mixer to make sure there aren’t any lumps). Spread the chocolate over the top layer of graham crackers.

Refrigerate 10-24 hours before serving.

Makes a 9×13 pan

Brigette is a full-time wife and mother who is blessed with three amazing bundles of energy and another on the way. She enjoys music, experimenting in the kitchen, homeschooling her children, finding great deals, long-distance running, and anything chocolate.

WANT TO SAVE $100 FAST?!Join the FREE 14-Day Savings Challenge!

Click here to sign up!

Shared Dec 20, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 18

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 20, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 18 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Today, we’re going to be focusing on doing something special for our spouse (if you’re married). It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in all the busyness of the season that we fail to take to nurture our marriages. And yet, if you’re married there’s not really anyone more important than your spouse, is there?

Day 18 Project

1. Read chapter 11 from Celebrating & Savoring a Simple Christmas. (Did you sign up for your free copy yet? If not, click here and fill out the form to be emailed a copy.)

2. If you’re married, do something special for your spouse today. It could be something as simple as writing a love note or making a treat they love.

3. Come back tonight around 8 p.m. and share what you did to bless your spouse. And I’ll share about what I did, too!

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 17 {Update}

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 17 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Today, we whipped our homes into shape to prepare for the busy few days ahead. Here’s a little peek into the cleaning we did…

I printed out the cleaning plan to cross off as we finished things.

The basket of miscellaneous items from around the house. There were some interesting things we rounded up… some that ended up going straight into the trash and recycling bins.

Lastly, we tackled the laundry pile. It wasn’t too enormous and Kathrynne helped me so we got it done in record time.

And then I lit this favorite candle of mine to celebrate the clean house. 🙂

Did you do any Christmas cleaning today? If so, tell us about it in the comments or share the link to your blog post (if you’re blogging about the challenge).

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

Last-Minute Super Easy Christmas Gift Idea!

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Looking for a last-minute gift idea for a friend who could use some encouragement and inspiration? How about pre-ordering a copy of my new book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.

The book won’t be out until January 21, 2014, but we’ve made it super easy for you to gift it for Christmas. Just pre-order a copy and then print out one of these cute printables, wrap it up or stick it in a card, and give it to your friend.

Not only is this so simple to pull off, but it be a way to really bless and encourage someone in your life… a little bit after Christmas! How fun is that?

Psst! Don’t forget that if you pre-order, you’ll also get Freebies and Deals Package — worth over $125! If you’d like, you can give this as a bonus gift to your friend by using this free printable form here that tells them how to redeem their freebies.

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

Gretchen’s $41 Grocery Shopping Trip and Menu Plan

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Dillons

2 Evenflo Bottles – $2.79, used 2 $3/1 printable – Free after coupons (These will be great for baby shower gifts!)

1 gallon Milk – $2.98

1 Kroger Flour – $1.47

2 Nestle Chocolate Chips – $2 each, used 2 $0.55/1 coupon from blinkie dispenser – $1.45 each after coupons

2 Nabisco Ritz Crackers – $1.99 each, used 2 $0.75/1 printable – $1.24 each after coupons

1 Nabisco Rice Thins – $1.99, used Free mailer coupon – Free after coupon

2 Post Grape Nuts – $2.50 each, used 2 $1/1 coupon from the 11/17 SmartSource insert – $1.50 each after coupons (I was so excited about this as I have been waiting a long time for this cereal to go on sale!)

1.71 lbs Bananas @ $0.59/lb – $1.01

3 lb bag Clementines – $4.49, used $0.50/1 coupon from the 12/8 SmartSource insert – $3.99 after coupon

1 box Baby Arugula – Marked down to $1.79

1.23 lbs Roma Tomatoes @ $0.99/lb – $1.22

1 Green Bell Pepper – $0.75

1 Red Leaf Lettuce – $1.49

2 Zucchini – $0.75 each

2 Green Mountain Coffee K-Cups – $4.99 each (Saved $2 instantly for buying 2), used 2 $1/1 printable – $3.99 each after coupons (I was very glad this was on sale this week as I just ran out of my Green Mountain coffee a few days ago!)

1 Cucumber – $0.75

0.55 lbs Yellow Squash @ $1.59/lb – $0.87

1 Kroger Potatoes (8 lbs) – $3.99

Total before coupons and sales: $72.76

Total with tax ($3.78) after coupons and sales: $40.75

Menu Plan for this Week:

Breakfasts

Cereal, Baked Oatmeal, Pancakes, Gluten-Free Oatmeal Spice Muffins, Buttermilk Blueberry Breakfast Cake, Fruit Smoothies

Lunches

Scrambled/Hard Boiled Eggs, Cheese & Crackers with Fruit, Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, Leftovers, Salad Bar

Dinners

Chicken & Rice Casserole (from my freezer), Steamed Broccoli

Spaghetti, 30 Minute Rolls, Tossed Salad

Egg Burritos, Fruit Salad

Deer Roast, Potatoes, Carrots

Veggie and Chicken Stir Fry, Mashed Potatoes

Pepperoni Rolls, Fruit Salad, Tossed Salad

Dinner with family

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 17

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Join the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge

It’s Day 17 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Christmas is almost here (can you believe it?), so today it’s time to get our homes in shape for company or so that we can enjoy our family and not have to worry about stepping over dirty laundry piles or tripping on spilled milk. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all you have to do, I’m here to help!

I’ve got a two-hour step-by-step plan to help you get all the major cleaning done so that your home looks presentable for your guests:

Two-Hour House-Cleaning Plan

1. Start a load of laundry (3 minutes).

2. Set the timer for 15 minutes and take a laundry basket and a trash bag and go through each room in your home. Quickly straighten, pick up, and put away everything that’s out of place. Put all trash in the trash bag and put everything that doesn’t go in that room in the laundry basket (15 minutes).

3. Put away all contents in the laundry basket and throw out the trash (5 minutes).

4. Head to the kitchen and load the dishwasher or hand wash the dishes (15 minutes).

5. Switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer and start another load in the washer (2 minutes).

6. Sweep or vacuum your kitchen floor and wipe down your countertops (10 minutes).

7. Take some toilet cleaner and go squirt it in all your toilets (2 minutes).

8. Take some window cleaner and spot clean the main glass windows/doors/mirrors (3 minutes).

9. Take a dust rag and quickly dust in the main rooms of your home (10 minutes).

10. Vacuum all the major traffic areas in your home (20 minutes).

11. Head back to the bathrooms wipe down the toilet, sinks, floor, and bathtub/shower. Change the towels (20 minutes).

12. Switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer and fold the clean laundry (15 minutes).

13. Light a candle or simmer some potpourri on the stove and enjoy your freshly-cleaned home!

Free Downloadable Checklist

Like to cross off lists? Download the free 2-Hour House-Cleaning Checklist to keep you on track and remind you of what you’re supposed to be doing next. Now you have no excuse for getting distracted. 🙂

3 Tips for House-Cleaning Success

1. Set the Timer

A timer works wonders in helping me stay focused and work quickly. Plus, it makes it seem more like a game to see if I can finish my project before the timer goes off!

2. Turn on Some Music

It’s much more fun to work when you’re accompanied by cheerful, upbeat music.

3. Stay Focused

Don’t worry about the next thing on the list or your overwhelming to-do list. Just focus on the project at hand until the timer goes off. Then, move on to the next project.

If your house is a complete disaster, it might need more than two hours. However, remember not to get too hung up on making it perfect.

Just work quickly and efficiently and do the best you can do in the time you have. Even if your house isn’t pristine after two hours of work, I’m sure it will at least look quite a bit better than it did when you started. 🙂

Day 17 Project

1. Read chapter 10 from Celebrating & Savoring a Simple Christmas. (Did you sign up for your free copy yet? If not, click here and fill out the form to be emailed a copy.)

2. Do as much of the Two-Hour House Cleaning Checklist as you can.

3. Come back tonight around 8 p.m. and share about what cleaning projects you accomplished today. I’ll share some pictures of our Christmas cleaning, too.

OVER-SPENDING EVERY SINGLE MONTH?Grab these FREE Budgeting Sheets!

Click here to download!

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

Gretchen’s Walgreens Shopping Trip: Spent $1.36 for $18 worth of products

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Walgreens Shopping Trip

Transaction #1

2 Colgate Max Fresh Toothpaste – $3 each (Buy 2, Get $4 Register Rewards)
Used 2 $1/1 coupon from the 12/15 SmartSource insert

1 Holiday Plastic Tumbler – $0.25 with in-ad coupon

Used $2 Register Rewards from last shopping trip

Redeemed 2,000 Balance Reward Points (like $2)

Total with tax ($0.45): $0.70, Received $4 Register Rewards

Transaction #2

2 Dixie Napkins (180 ct each) at $3.59 – On Sale Buy One Get One Free
Used $1/2 printable

3 Hallmark Cards – $0.99 each (Buy 3, Get 1,000 Balance Reward Points)
Used $2/3 printable

1 Lip Gloss – $0.59 (filler item)

Used $4 Register Rewards from Transaction #1

Total with tax ($0.51): $0.66, Received 1,000 points (like $1)

Total for both transactions before sales, coupons, Register Rewards and Balance Points: $18.09

Total for both transactions after sales, coupons, Register Rewards and Balance Points: $1.36, Plus 1,000 points leftover

Shared Dec 19, 2013 comment

Sign up for My Job Chart — a FREE online chore chart program for kids!

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 19, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Have you heard of My Job Chart? It’s a free, easy-to-use, online chore chart and reward system for organizing and motivating your kids to learn first hand how to Save, Share, and Spend.

We have used this program in the past when we had some children who were feeling unmotivated to do their chores. We were amazed at how well it worked and would definitely recommend it!

You can sign up for it for free here. And if you’ve used it before, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it, too!

Also, check out my post with 5 FREE downloadable Chore Charts.

(Note: The links in this post are my referral links. Read my disclosure policy here.)

Shared Dec 18, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 16 {Update}

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 18, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 16 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Today, we’re talking about Christmas decor and I promised you a little peek into our Christmas decor…

We have our tree decorated with these free printable ornaments and the free printable ornaments from Ann Voskamp’s beautiful devotional, The Greatest Gift. I love how they remind us of what Christmas is all about.

This is our very, very simple Advent count-down. It’s so simple that I’m almost embarrassed to show it. However, the highlight of the morning is waking up and moving the marker a day closer to Christmas… so I guess our kids don’t seem to mind that it’s not very sophisticated. 🙂

And here’s our manger scene. You can read more about it here.

Finally, I just love our Christmas mantel. These DaySpring blocks have provided a lot of hours of enjoyment for our kids. And Jesse and I have joined in the challenge of coming up with new words to spell with them, too!

Did you do any Christmas decorating or add Christmas cheer to your home in any simple way? If so, tell us about it in the comments or share the link to your blog post (if you’re blogging about the challenge).

Shared Dec 18, 2013 comment

21 Days to a Simple Christmas: Day 16

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 18, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

It’s Day 16 of the 21 Days to a Simple Christmas Challenge!

Today, we’re talking about Christmas decorating. I encourage you to find some way to add a little Christmas decor or Christmas spirit to your home today — even just lighting a Christmas-scented candle, playing Christmas music, or making Homemade Christmas potpourri.

If you need some ideas, you might enjoy scrolling through the Simple Christmas posts I shared last year.

What are your favorite quick and simple ways to decorate for Christmas?

Day 16 Project

1. Read chapter 9 from Celebrating & Savoring a Simple Christmas. (Did you sign up for your free copy yet? If not, click here and fill out the form to be emailed a copy.)

2. Find one simple way to add a little Christmas decor or Christmas cheer to your home today.

3. Come back tonight around 8 p.m. and share about your Christmas decor or ways that you can simply add some Christmas cheer to your home. I’ll share some pictures of our Christmas decor, too.

Shared Dec 17, 2013 comment

What To Do When You Disappoint Someone

Published: by Crystal Paine on December 17, 2013 | This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

“You’re a bad mom,” the anonymous blog comment read. And it didn’t stop there. It went on to detail just how I was failing as a mother and how this person was so disappointed with me.

After I read the comment, I felt crushed and discouraged. Maybe it was true. I started questioning my mothering abilities and quickly began feeling like a big failure.

Before I sunk into a state of utter discouragement, though, I decided I should probably have Jesse read the comment to see if he thought there was truth in it.

After Jesse read the comment, his response was: “That anonymous commentor may be disappointed with you, but they don’t know what goes on in our home. I’m not disappointed with you and that’s what matters.”

This experience reminded me of the lesson I’ve been learning over and over as a blogger. I am always going to disappoint someone. It’s inevitable. As much as I wish I could please everyone all the time, I realize that it’s impossible.

When I say yes to playing with my kids, it might mean that I don’t get as many blog posts written and I disappoint my blog readers. Or, when I say yes to spending time with my husband, it might mean I don’t have time to respond to as many comments from readers as I’d like to get to respond to — probably disappointing someone that I didn’t respond to their question or kind comment.

No matter what I blog (or don’t blog) about or what I do (or don’t do) as a blogger, someone is going to be disappointed.

Some would love me to write more on a certain subject or share fewer of a certain type of post. Some wish I were more real and messy. Others wish I were more perfect and put-together. And just when I think I’ve finally found a way to strike a great balance, someone comes along and says that I’m totally missing the mark.

Whether you’re a blogger or not, you’ve likely experienced the same in your own life. You just can’t please everyone. You’re never going to measure up to everyone’s expectations for you. And no matter what you do, you’re always going to be disappointing some people — usually without meaning to do so.

So what do you do when you disappoint someone? Here are some suggestions I’ve learned from my journey out of living my life as a people-pleaser these past few years (it’s still a journey, and I’ve far from arrived!)

1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

When you find out that you’ve disappointed someone, don’t immediately do what I did in the scenario above and start berating yourself. This never accomplishes anything good. Instead, nip this in the bud and make yourself think objectively (see step #2).

2. Step Back & Consider Their Perspective

Ask yourself (or a trusted friend or family member): “Is there merit in this person’s disappointment?”

Did you do something offensive that you need to ask forgiveness for (see step #3)? Is this a person who knows you well and has your best interests at heart? Or is this someone who is just making a false accusation?

3. Graciously Admit When You’re Wrong

I make mistakes. I struggle. I fall. I fail. I’m a work in progress and I’m learning right along with the rest of you.

When I make mistakes and it disappoints someone, I want to own up to that, admit that I was wrong, and ask forgiveness. Justifying my wrong behavior and/or pretending it never happened are never the right ways to respond — even if it wasn’t entirely my fault.

4. Determine Your Personal Priorities

What’s going to matter in 25 years from now? This question really helps me to figure out my priorities and what matters most. It also helps me to be okay when I’ve been a disappointment as a blogger if I know that my more important priorities (health, family, relationship with the Lord, etc.) are thriving.

Note: In my book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, I talk about how determining my Personal Priorities and creating what I call a “Best Stuff List” has revolutionized my life. It’s helped me to have much clearer focus and given me confidence to say no to things that aren’t the most important priorities in order to say yes to what’s really going to matter years from now. If this is an area you struggle with, I encourage you to order a copy of my book as I think you’ll be encouraged by my journey and the struggles I’ve had and the lessons I’ve learned.

5. Stop Living Your Life to Please Other People

You can’t please everyone or make everyone happy. But you can sure exhaust yourself trying.

Wrap your life around your personal priorities, be confident in the things you are called to do, be as gracious as you can, but accept that you will disappoint some people along the way. And that’s okay.

2hr Cleaning Checklist

2hr Cleaning Checklist

FREE DOWNLOAD: 2-Hour Cleaning Checklist!

Day 19 & 20 Project

1. Recognize the Lies

2. Refuse to Believe the Lies

3. Replace the Lies

Chocolate Éclair Dessert

WANT TO SAVE $100 FAST?!Join the FREE 14-Day Savings Challenge!

Day 18 Project

Dillons

Menu Plan for this Week:

Breakfasts

Lunches

Dinners

Two-Hour House-Cleaning Plan

Free Downloadable Checklist

3 Tips for House-Cleaning Success

Day 17 Project

OVER-SPENDING EVERY SINGLE MONTH?Grab these FREE Budgeting Sheets!

Walgreens Shopping Trip

Day 16 Project

1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

2. Step Back & Consider Their Perspective

3. Graciously Admit When You’re Wrong

4. Determine Your Personal Priorities

5. Stop Living Your Life to Please Other People

How do you deal with people who are disappointed with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

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