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Why We’ve Got to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

Why We've Got to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

You there. Sitting in your yoga pants with the mom hair look. I have something I want to whisper in your ear today.

You may have seen the Royal Baby Announcements and festivities unfold.

You may have seen the pictures of Duchess Kate headed home from the hospital looking stunningly gorgeous just 12 hours after giving birth.

And you might be feeling just a little bit like you don’t measure up.

Like you’re a loser mom.

Like you’re dropping balls all over the place.

Like you need to lose 10 pounds, find a better makeup routine, figure out a better hairstyle, buy a new wardrobe…

You may be overwhelmed by your to-do list. You may be frustrated that you can’t get your act together more. That you can’t have a cleaner house. That you aren’t more organized. That you ate that extra cookie last night. That you got irritated at your child, yet again, this morning.

Why We Need to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

Here’s the thing: Kate Middleton is beautiful. She’s amazing. She’s graciously handled all sorts of pressure and scrutiny. She’s the epitome of poise. And I’ve never seen her look anything but stunning.

So the pictures of her looking incredible just hours after giving birth didn’t surprise me. And for a split second, I started to wonder what my problem was that I looked like I’d been run over by a train for at least a few days after giving birth to my kids.

Well, and that some days — even years after giving birth — I look like I’ve been run over by a train. {Here’s some picture proof, if you missed my post yesterday.}

But then I quickly reminded myself: Kate has a whole team of people who help her get ready for big photo-ops like this. If you and I had a hairstylist, a makeup artist, and a dress designer get us ready for something like this, we’d probably look amazing, too!

That’s why we can’t compare ourselves to Kate. Our reality is completely different than her reality.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Always.

So I want to whisper this in your ear today, moms: You are enough.

You don’t need to be thinner or more organized or more fit or have a nicer wardrobe or get a better handle on your finances or find a new makeup routine or get your hair styled differently in order to finally be enough.

Yes, it’s fantastic if you want to work on areas in your life that you could improve in — we all have those areas where we struggle or are weak in (ahem, like me and my laundry issues). But remember that your struggles don’t have to define you. Your failings do not make you a failure.

You are enough… exactly as you are.


P.S. Oh and I thought you might like to see this photo I found of my tired and swollen self at 40 weeks pregnant with Silas. It’s a far cry from gorgeous pregnant Kate — and that’s okay! 🙂

photo credit

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  • Joy A. says:

    Thank you for the encouraging post!

  • To be completely honest, I didn’t even know (or really care) that she was even pregnant.

  • Though it would have never occurred to me to compare myself to Kate Middleton, when there are so many other American women to look up to, if I were to do so, surely it would be Rose Kennedy; a devout Christian, philanthropist, author, humanitarian, a mother to nine, including one US President, three Senators, two war veteran, and founder of the Special Olympics. She was also a wife to the US Ambassador to the UK, married for over half a century, and was mother to a beautiful, disabled child . This was a woman who prided herself on never missing a Sunday mass in over fifty years, never employed domestic servants, wrote essays on home economy, while maintaining a self-imposed, depression-era household budget post-depression, and who lived to the grand old age of 105. Now, that’s an American mother worth looking up to!

    • Laura says:

      Wow! Now I want to know more about Rose Kennedy. Do you have a book to recommend?

    • katie says:

      Are you kidding? Rose Kennedy had multiple homes, tons of maids/cooks/nannies, and was a married to a multi-millionaire. All of her clothes were custom designed couture. She did many good works, yes, but she never cut expenses or lived in poverty. That’s just a myth!

  • Sam says:

    I do enjoy following Kate Middleton in the news because we are about the same age and our kids are extremely close in age. She certainly does have a team of help from nannies to cleaning staff to beauty staff. Such a classy lady!

    I don’t mean to criticize, but you made a comment on your facebook earlier about how you wish Kate could enjoy her baby without prying eyes, but you’ve posted 2 stories to Facebook and wrote a blog post within hours of her baby’s birth. How does that give her the quiet that you said you wish she had?

    • Great question and yes, you have valid criticism. I thought of it myself before posting so I wanted to respond. First off, here’s what I said on Facebook, for those who may have missed it (

      “I just have to say, while I’m so happy for the Royal Family, part of me wishes Kate could just have her baby quietly without having to deal with the whole world watching and waiting with bated breath!”

      I know that my blog is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but since I shared that and since part of me wonders if she would love privacy, I debated whether or not to post the second post on Facebook and this post. However, when I saw the great comments on that first post (of people talking about how happy this news makes them and how nice it is to finally see some upbeat news), I went ahead and shared the second Facebook Post — which people ended up loving. I’m always happy to share things that bring a smile to people’s faces! 🙂

      And then when I saw so many comments from moms who were talking about how they couldn’t measure up to Kate, this post just bubbled up today while I was cleaning my house. I asked my husband if he thought I should post it or not as I was waffling over it, but he said that I totally should because he felt that it would encourage moms.

      Thanks for the constructive criticism! 🙂 I always try to carefully weigh what I post here and on Facebook and want to be a person of integrity, so I hope that helps to clarify!

  • Lana says:

    I think she would probably like to be one of us for a day. One thing I have never wanted to be is famous!

  • Rachel Anna says:

    I recently gave birth, and I hate to admit that I was indeed comparing myself to this gorgeous woman today. Thank you, Crystal, for the reality check and encouragement!

  • julie says:

    Thanks for the encouragement! Excellent post!! How can she wear heels like that? I was so swollen!

  • Laura says:

    I may be a bit older than some of your readers. In my day, we were all taken with Princess Diana. The romance, the glamour, the royal wedding and yes, those sweet babies. That fairy-tale, of course, has all faded.

    I am thankful for life; my messy, middle-class, sometimes crazy life. I hope to one day be alive to enjoy my grandchildren.

    You are absolutely right. We must live each day that God gives us to the best of our abilities. May God bless the wonderful women we see in the news. May God bless each one of us amazing women, doing our best to serve Him, outside of the limelight.

  • Jessica says:

    Hm. Wow, yes, the last thing I would have wanted 12 hours after delivering my babies would have been millions of photos taken of me and shared around the world. NOPE! I was quite happy to be nursing my baby and resting. I did go home the next day after delivering my third (and last) baby… she was born on Christmas Eve, and we wanted to be home on Christmas Day. Since she was an uncomplicated delivery, it wasn’t a problem.

  • Kari says:

    Thank you for the great reminder. These are such encouraging words for all moms! I do feel a tad bit sad for her though, that she can’t just enjoy the birth of her little princess, in her comfy clothes, resting. But has to be perfect for the public.

    Thank you again, for the great reminder!

    • Sharon says:

      Thank you so much for this post! You have an amazing gift to know exactly what your readers need to hear at the right time. Thank you for trusting your gut and posting this. You are such an encouragement!

  • Antonia says:

    I was just telling my husband today that I’m pretty sure I could not do what Kate does.

    12 hours after having my first baby I was in the hospital covered in petechiae from a 48 hour labor and was doped up on all the pain meds I could safely handle to ease soreness and pain from a 3 degree tear and manual placenta evac.

    12 hours after my second I was in the hospital getting a blood transfusion after a retained placenta and a blood loss of 5 units. Both times it was days before I wanted to be (or really could be) standing and *months* before I even looked at a pair of heels. O.o.

    I can’t even imagine the pressure from knowing that millions are watching, waiting and expecting you to step out and let them see your new baby just hours after pushing her out. Or even just waiting for a birth announcement when it’s reported that you’re going into labor. I barely even like to let family know when I feel I’m starting labor in case it wanes, takes longer than I’d like it to or goes completely opposite from what I hoped and planned for!

    She handles it all so beautifully and gracefully and I admire her but I’m quite happy with my simple, happy, ‘common’ little life. 🙂 (Although I certainly wouldn’t mind some nanny/house/beauty help from time to time. :P)

    • These were my thoughts too. While I think she looks beautiful (as always) and I’m very impressed with her poise and elegance, I can’t imagine that kind of pressure. Twelve hours after giving birth to my babies I was sleeping or nursing or whatever…I wasn’t having to do hair and makeup for international photos. I can’t imagine what that would be like. I give her lots of credit for being as gracious and graceful as she is!

  • Jennifer says:

    I never comment, but I think you wrote this post just for me! I am due with my third baby in a few months and feel anything but glamorous. When I saw Kate step out today, looking radiant, fit and beautiful, I did envy her. But, your so right. Her situation may look glamorous to us, but it’s definitely not how I would want to live my life! And comparison has been stealing my joy for far too long. Thanks for the encouragement, Crystal!

  • Sarah D. says:

    While I was happy to hear about the new baby (can’t resist tasting a little bit of that royal glamour every once in a while), I’m so pleased that you included that picture of yourself and your precious little girls at the end! Now THAT I can identify with! 🙂

    • 😉 I thought it might help through in a little reality. I was so happy to have found that picture recently… I don’t have very many pictures of me with my kids from that season of life — probably because I was just trying to survive at that point!

      • Sarah D. says:

        I have very few pictures of myself pregnant, but that was because I didn’t want any proof of how I looked!!

      • katie says:

        Ok, I’m a long time blog reader because I remember that picture very well. Weren’t you guys going out for free ice cream night at baskin robbins?

        • $0.31 night! And you have a better memory than me… because I totally forgot about it until I found it recently. Was trying to see if I’d posted any pictures of me with Silas after he was born and found this picture instead. 🙂

          • Amanda says:

            I remember that post very well! I was huge pregnant (and miserable) with my 4th baby. My son John Paul was born within days of Silas. I bet they would be great friends since Paul and Silas were companions in the Bible!

          • katie says:

            I remember the first picture of all 3 kids, Kathrynne had braids, but you weren’t in it. As for a pic of you and Silas, there was one on biblical womanhood. Also, if you want more pregnancy pics, I believe your brother was getting married at that time and there was a nice pic of you there while pregnant.

  • Amy says:

    Thank you for this post! I had just been seeing those pics of Kate and feeling extremely inadequate. Your post was a great reminder!!

  • Lisa-Jo says:

    ahhhhh this is SO good. Thanks for keeping it real.

  • Adrienne Marie says:

    Thanks I really needed this today after I attempted to go shopping for something to wear to an upcoming wedding and feeling like my pretty days are so OVER! They are still over, but I know I’m not alone and it’s more important how I serve God and love people anyway than how I look.

  • Emily Moore says:

    I had no idea Kate was even pregnant till like a week ago and today her picture of her leaving the hospital popped up on my news feed. My thoughts: Wow, she looks amazing…I wish I looked even half as good as her. I know she has people tending to her, but she is just beautiful. You get the point…I felt like a big fat ugly woman. I have a 2 yo and a 9 month old so I didn’t have much time between children to “get myself together.” I was breastfeeding when I got pregnant with my second daughter so I wasn’t really thinking about “bouncing back.” I was having fun enjoying my daughter and not caring what I looked like. I have felt overwhelmed with two young children and someone always needs me. I try to workout, but my husband and girls are more important. So my point being this blog post touched my heart! Not only about not comparing, but seeing your picture where you look like me. I have always thought you look beautiful and to show a picture where you look tired and pregnant…it made me feel less alone and even beautiful people have times when they look less beautiful and not put together. So thank you and I do think you are a very pretty woman inside and out.

  • Emily says:

    Crystal you are just plain gorgeous yourself so Kate Middleton has nothin’ on you. But she looked a whole lot better than she did after she had George so I’m assuming her L&D were a whole lot easier this time around. And besides she had the horrible nausea again at the beginning of the pregnancy. I bet she is looking so happy because she says “I’m done!” 🙂

  • Kristen says:

    Thank you for the encouragement and the photo. You are beautiful!!

  • Jenna says:

    Thank you so much for this. It is so easy to fall into a comparing trap. It helps to think about all the things she might be longing for about the life of an non-famous mother. And it helps to just be happy for her. And gratitude. Gratitude for all I do have. Thanks for your reminder. Most needed!

  • Evie Kumar says:

    Good post especially for someone who is not far behind Kate in pregnancy. I am sitting here with swollen feet, hands, etc. But that came from deep cleaning my house, laundry, cooking, and sitting in the sun at my son’s baseball game. I have caught myself comparing myself to her since we are so close in our pregnancies. She was always tiny and I feel huge etc. But this was a great post especially for someone that in a few weeks will be having my own bundle of joy and will NOT be leaving the hospital in heels and a dress with my hair nicely done and makeup perfect. Thanks for the post!

  • Carrie O. says:

    I was reading the news about the royal baby birth and looking at the pics as my 4 month old threw up on my shoulder. Lol…!

  • Jessica Jill says:

    I think there’s a reason that most of us don’t pack a cute Spring dress along with heels and some control top pantyhose in out hospital bag. Who would want to wear that on the way home from giving birth. If ever there was a time that yoga pants and a comfy sweater were welcome!

  • Tera says:

    Thank you for this…We have a Silas too:)

  • LeahB says:

    This was a great, encouraging post. Thank you! Especially now that I’m on a post-baby weight loss journey, it’s hard not to look around at other people who seemingly have it all together and wonder what my problem is.

    Another way to look at Kate’s public appearance: she basically went back to work 12 hours after giving birth. Because appearing in public and all the primping that goes with it IS her job. So much pressure. Hopefully she can retreat to her home for as long as she needs to. Sometimes I really feel sorry for celebrities.

  • Jamie says:

    How did you know I was in yoga pants?

    Just kidding. Thanks for sharing.

  • Kasey says:

    I’ve always admired Kate and felt a kinship to her- we’re the same age, and she and my daughter share a birthday, and we look similar, though she is more beautiful than I am (not being self-deprecating, the woman is gorgeous!) But that’s it- I just admire her. I understand that her role in her life is different from mine. She’s a public figure, part of a centuries-old monarchy, and so she really needs to be beautiful and radiant.

    I, on the other hand, am a stay-at-home mom and a writer. I certainly try to look nice for my husband, but I’m happy to leave the pressure of glamour to the one whose job requires it. I’ll stick to my jeans and let her be fabulous enough for the both of us. 😉

  • Brooke Irwin says:

    Thanks so much for this encouraging post! I’ve been super skinny my whole life, and I’ve recently had my third baby, and cannot get rid of the baby weight! It’s nice to read posts that are great reminders of the important things, like just being there for our kids.

  • Shelley says:

    Comparison is such a joy-stealer, I agree!

    I think we can also compare in another way, though– saying we wouldn’t want her life, still comparing our lives! Contentment is a wonderful thing for each of us, and this is a life Kate chose. I wouldn’t want people to say they feel sorry for my life simply because they wouldn’t want it themselves. I think the positive comments on her grace under a lot of expectation are the most helpful, and we shouldn’t assume how she feels (maybe she liked some fresh air and having her hair done!)

  • Anne says:

    I was just telling my husband at dinner that Kate has a whole team! I bet one of the nannies was tending to the baby while she was pumping and getting her hair and make up done. That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me. She’s probably in a lot of pain, too; I can’t imagine wearing heels after delivering an 8 lb baby feels on all those tender body parts – UGH! Poor lady!

    • Rebecca says:

      I was thinking the same thing, Anne. After her team got her dressed and on her feet, I would bet she stoically putting on that beautiful smile and wondering how long it would be before she could get in the car and go home to her own bed.

  • Alexis Clement says:

    If anything I feel quite horrible for her. She just gave birth and has to parade around. I would like to think I am content with my unorganized and unplanned life.

  • Jen says:

    BTW, I think you looked great in your picture!

  • Vanessa says:

    “And you might be feeling just a little bit like you don’t measure up”…

    Well, until reading that I’d never actually considered it.

  • Jennifer B says:

    i have to admit that I was a little shocked and a tad jealous when I saw the pics of Kate leaving the hospital. However, I would never want the spotlight and pressure that necessitates her team of people. As my friend put it “I hope she went home to a giant ice pack, pjs and a big bowl of chocolate!”

  • Mae says:

    Thank you for posting this!

  • Julie says:

    You have laundry issues too eh? Thank goodness I’m not alone ! And we have the same MacArthur bible.. I need to open mine more! I really enjoyed reading your blog tonight ( my four yr old woke me up 2am.. Third night in a row.. :/

  • Adrienne says:

    I will admit to loving following Kate and William. They are so down to earth and choosing to live their public lives in a reasonable way. They have a nanny and a cook and all of that, but when you see them with their son, Prince George, it is clear that there is a personal relationship. I also love how William appears to really cherish and protect his wife.

    We something similar with princess Mary of Denmark. She dresses so beautifully as is required by her station, but when her children are with her you can tell they are her priority as well.

    Its easy to be jealous of them, but these two women also have to live their entire lives under scrutiny. We all dream of being a princess but do we realize that part of it?

  • Cindy Calderon says:

    Thank you SO MUCH for posting this. Thank you for saying what most of us don’t dare to say out loud: that we sometimes secretly compare ourselves to Kate. Reading this was such a relief. You are right, we (moms) are way to hard on ourselves sometimes, specially when we compare ourselves to others. We try, we really try, but the constant feeling of failure is exhausting. I actually was wondering this morning (when I saw Kate) if there was something wrong with me for leaving the hospital the day after giving birth wearing my red/pink plaided pajamas, white slippers and the hair as if my lovely 2 year old had helped me put it up on a pony tail. Thanks again for such comforting and encouraging post. Lots of blessings to you and yours!

  • LP says:

    For anyone feeling inept compared to Princess Kate, keep this in mind when looking at her post-birth pictures:
    She’s probably wearing DEPENDS!

    … kind of brings her down to us “norms”, doesn’t it?

  • Sheila says:

    i definitely don’t compare myself to Kate for reasons mentioned & more. Admittedly I was shocked they stepped out in public so early I mean the baby is less than 12 hrs old. But I would bet that after she made her 10 minute debut full of smiles she went right back into bed & put on comfortable clothes to recover in peace.

  • Jennifer says:

    This was a great post Crystal. This 7 month post-partum, feeling a bit “doughy” momma needed the encouragement!
    Funny thing, when I saw the photo of the Duchess all glammed up 12 hours after giving birth, I wondered if she was taking your advice and “dressing for the day she wants to have”. 🙂
    I hope she is now able to sit on a comfy couch somewhere in yoga pants and mom hair and enjoy her new little blessing.

  • Montana Maia says:

    I read your article and looked all the pics. You are gorgeous in every one sister! Even 40 weeks prego. That is such a precious memory for you. What we all have that Kate doesn’t, is a life. I won’t trade that for staged photo ops, ever.

  • mary says:

    Her people did not have wealth and then boom shakala they had a card and birthday/anniversary and special times of one’s life and made millions of pounds of money literally..She went to a privileged school both her and Pippa and met wealthy and well connected people. She met William at one of those occasions and he fell for her like a rock falls from a cliff.. She and her hubs are one the wealthiest people in all of great Britain..How one compares to that wealth is beyond me..Most people don’t live quiet lives of desperation they yell loud and clear..A lot of people in the USA in my opinion the greatest country on this earth are hungry and no jobs and no real home, I get to help at a pantry for people who need food, I do not belong to this congregation but I cook and help out, believe you me, the ones who work and are starving they feed their wives and tiny ones don’t give a fig about Kate Middleton, they are trying to get food so they may work in excess of 60 hours on jobs no one born in the USA would lift a finger to do..You look great in my book, your children adorable and it looks like you have the means to enjoy time with them and food and the necessities of life, isn’t that really what is more important than following Kate Middleton, a place to call home, a job, food, hydration, heat and the people you love and adore..ciao~!!

  • mary says:

    I meant to say Kate Middleton’s parents had a card shop that sold all kinds of things for special occasions and hit it big, they are very wealthy, not everyone in their lifetime is so lucky…I think one has to appreciated the basic necessities I realize that many in the USA have little and I mean little..Your blog is thoughtful and kind, you look like you are doing well, how is the little one??? hoping great your girls look like little angels..I say be grateful and appreciative and kind to others, happy mothers day early tooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • kariane says:

    Yes! We all just need to be ourselves. To do our best at what our hearts call us to do. We are enough.

  • PattyLynn says:

    I know that Kate looks great and all that and there are lots of comments about it, comparing ourselves when we had our babies to how she looks just after giving birth to her second, but first of all, she has one thing most of us do not have: Staff. Number two: she is very tall and therefore will not show extra weight the way a shorter woman would. Number three: she is athletic and keeps herself in shape.
    That said, I think that having Kate, William and the children in the news is heartening for the public. They have every appearance of being a normal family. Kate and William seem to be loving parents. It’s good to see. There have been no ugly scandals and sour faces in the news for quite some time.

    • Shelley says:

      I agree, PattyLynn. I think the public needs some good news! There are so many tragic things in the world currently and it’s wonderful to see joy.

      I notice in my mom circles that a lot of women find camaraderie in wearing yoga pants (I wore these to work in while pregnant– I hoped no one noticed…) I think it is so important to realize that Kate does have hair dressers, makeup artists, and probably a personal trainer. While our lives can seem very different, I think she’s also a great example. We may not have someone to do our hair, but as a mom, doing our hair can be a little joy amidst chaos. Putting on a pretty dress can lift our spirits even if we feel like yoga pants for the first year! We may not have a trainer, but staying fit helps our bodies to recover the best (I learned this the hard way after baby #1– I was kicking myself for never discipling myself for exercise before children and realized it would have helped me in the long run!)

      So no, most of us will never have the help Kate has to look picture ready (and most of us don’t need to look picture ready!) and we should not compare ourselves but take the good things from her example: that being a mom is a wonderful, blessed role but not our only role in life, and little things (like throwing on a cute dress) can really lift our spirits when we have young children!

  • Lindsey Swinborne says:

    What a GREAT post for young women to read! I saw the pics and was AMAZED at how she looked, but when I saw the pic of thousands of cameras pointed at her I realized I wouldn’t want to live like that even if I had a team of people working on me and another team doing my housework, cooking, driving, etc. I definitely am with you on the “train ran over me” look after childbirth! In a way, I wonder if she feels cheated out of time to just relax after the birth. It was nice to be pampered and to have people’s acknowledgement that I had just been through a very tough and painful thing after I had my kids. It’s like Kate hardly had time to take a nap before she’s whisked in front of bazillions of people. It’s so nice that you are always reminding women not to compare themselves because all of our lives are so different. Thanks Crystal!

  • miki says:

    I love you for posting this! Although I already knew it, I needed to hear you say it out loud and remind me of it. Without the hairstylist, makeup artist, and filters, my husband and children still think I’m beautiful!

  • Vere Reynolds says:

    Great post. I didn’t see beauty to be jealous of, but a respect for a fellow mom for having the poise and strength to manage the amount of pressure she has in so many ways that go way beyond what she looks like in that moment. I’d take looking like a train wreck any day over that pressure. To be honest, I was looking at her face, for expressions of “help, this is too much, can we just go home?” My heart went out to her as she maintained her duty even through this very special time that should be personal. Even with the entourage of support. I’d hate to have all those people around especially to make me appear like a Disney princess.

    We as fellow moms need to be supportive of each other in any stage, any circumstance, and any looks. We are all beautiful in our Father’s eyes and irreplaceable in our child’s. Go moms!!

  • Jennifer says:

    I have had seven babies, and after every one except for my first I felt (and looked) like I had been run over by a truck. Seeing these pictures of Princess Kate and others in similar situations because of social media can make contentment so hard in so many different areas.

    I wrote on this comparison thing. It is so hard to not do it even in real life. There are a couple of moms I know in “real life” who always look like she does to me, and somehow when I bump into them I am always at my frumpiest, usually wearing baby spit up or baby poo after having not had the time to take a shower after my 8 mile run…lovely.

    Sigh. Thanks for keeping it real and writing about what we are all thinking and feeling like 🙂

    • leah says:

      I didn’t compare myself to Kate for the same things you posted. She is just at a whole different level than most people and has to constantly live in the public eye. But there are other women out there who also make others feel like they don’t measure up. On Instagram, @sarahstage constantly has comments on her pages with people saying “birth goals” and such. She is a model. She also has a trainer. Why all the comparisons? Her son is adorable but most of her comments are about her physical appearance. We need to be happy in our own skin, even if we have 10 or 50 lbs of baby weight to lose?.

  • Heather Clarke says:

    My understanding is that Kate had hypermesis gravidarum or HG. This means she may have been vomiting and nauseous the entire length of her pregnancy. This may be the reason she looked as thin as she did. I had this when I was pregnant. Knowing what I do about it, she probably would have preferred the post pregnancy weight.

    • Cari says:

      She also does have the baby’s blanket covering up any belly pooch that may be there. I have done that trick several times myself! 😉

    • K in Philly says:

      It also means that this may have been only the second day that she felt GOOD in 9 months – able to eat toast and coffee and keep it down for the first time in MONTHS …

  • Faith Still says:

    I bet she wishes she could just wear a big nursing top, yoga pants, and flip flops too. She looks beautiful, but I can’t imagine wanting to get so dressed up for my trip home from the hospital.

    • becky goh says:

      totally agree with you, she must wish I can just go home in my big t shirt n sweat pants and not have to do my hair, get out there to warn to these people out there waiting for me outside the hospital!!!

  • Meg Herriot says:

    Really appreciated this post, this was exactly what I was thinking this week! Thanks for your blogging, you are an inspiration to us beginners!

  • Becky says:

    I actually found comparing my pregnancy to Kate’s helpful! I was pretty sick for the first four months, and have been nauseous every day since. But having that prominent reminder that it could have been worse helped–I could keep ginger ale down, and I didn’t have to go to the hospital.

  • Julie says:

    Love the pic you shared at the end! Your love for your kiddos really shines through. And isn’t that what really matters? our kids don’t care if we look like a supermodel in pictures, they just want to be able to look back and see Mom hanging out with them, no matter how she looks! Love your bravery 😉 (not that showing a pic of oneself look less than 100% is brave…but hopefully you catch my drift!)

  • Mridu says:

    I love your quote: Comparison is the thief of joy.
    Thanks for sharing!

  • Emily says:

    I saw those pictures yesterday and I did not feel envy, I did not feel “not good enough”. I felt really sorry for her, honestly, and grateful that nobody was waiting outside the hospital to take hundreds of pictures of me for people across the globe to gawk at. Even with a team of people doing her hair and makeup and custom clothing, she still had to get her tired body up and out of bed and smile, smile, smile, when all she probably wanted to do was cuddle her newborn and her son and rest. She is beautiful and she is poised, but, man, I wouldn’t want her life. I like my own. 🙂

    • Theresa says:

      My thoughts exactly. She doesn’t look perfect all the time because she wants to. She looks pretty and perfect all the time because she has to. She can’t wear her hair in a messy ponytail and sweats to get bread from the market. Every time she leaves her house, there is a possibility someone will take her picture. This weekend I went to Target with frizzy fluffy hair and am so glad I didn’t have to worry about my picture ending up on a magazine cover with a made-up headline about my life.

  • Jen says:

    Loved this article! thanks for the perspective 🙂

  • Carolyn says:

    Thank you for this… It made me cry! – Most of the time I hear that I am not enough as my shortcomings are constantly being pointed out. I am working on having inner peace, no matter the situation.

  • Sheena Hodge says:

    Can’t relate to this post at all. Thank God.

  • Melissa B says:

    This post made me cry; more like sob like a baby. Thank you for posting this Crystal. God uses you in amazing ways, and you carry His will to us so gracefully. Big hug and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • Heather says:

    Thank you for this. I needed it today, not because of comparing myself to Kate but because of feeling down on myself. My internal dialogue is very critical so it’s nice to be reminded that I’m enough.

  • Christina says:

    I agree with Emily, I would not want her life, regardless of how glamorous and sophisticated she appears to be. I’m glad that the only people I had to impress were my husband, children, and our parents – because they expect me to look like a slug after having a baby.

    It makes me sad that this post needed to be written, because it did. Mothers should never compare themselves to anyone else. You’re all amazing, and how a celebrity or a Duchess looks the day after she gives birth means nothing about anyone else. Humans were brought into the world, and that’s all the celebration we need.

    Thank you for this post. So many of my mom-friends have complained all over social media about Kate’s appearance and “Why do we need to see this?” I know that they can benefit greatly from these simple words.

  • Tamboliya says:

    I feel like even MORE of a failure b/c I’ve never given birth to a baby and I STILL look like a train ran over me! LOL What excuse do “I” have?! I can’t even use a baby as an excuse.

    I definitely feel “less than” b/c Kate looks far more gorgeous than me even after having a baby! I can’t imagine how much WORSE I’d look after having a baby than I do now (when I already look awful); it is a scary and depressing and hopeless thought.

    Thanks for trying to encourage us. You encourage women who aren’t even mothers &/or are single. Be encouraged.

    • Christina says:

      I don’t need to see you to know that you’re a beautiful person. Hold your head high, not having children doesn’t mean that you need a different excuse to look like a slug. No one knows your story, so no one can judge you.

  • Bekah Pogue says:

    Crystal, You’re the best. Amen to all of it. My hubby is prepping to co-host a conference for the next two weeks and I was panicking today, thinking, “He is way more fun. How will I survive? Will my boys like me two weeks from now? Can I do it all?” After a beach walk and shrimp tacos, I realized I can. It may look messy and imperfect, but it’s the best I can give. And I’m enough in the process. xoxo

  • Cat Graham says:

    Thanks for reminding us that Kate’s persona is an illusion created by a whole team of people hired to make her look good all the time. She is gorgeous and very poised but she does get lots of help to stay looking that way. The rest of us are on our own. Love your post that puts it in perspective. Thanks, Crystal!

    • Jennifer says:

      Illusion is a perfect word! I just saw where they say it takes 4-6 hours to retouch one magazine photo !! That was just the face. No wonder women feel like they can never compare. They are chasing nothing more than an illusion.

  • Jill says:

    This couldn’t have been more timely since I am due in one week and look nothing like Kate. 🙂 I love the picture you posted at the end and I know I keep saying it but you’re authenticity blesses me so much! Thank you Crystal.m

  • Angela says:

    I love this post! Thank you for sharing some encouraging words and also sharing your pregnancy photo. I love your honesty. Crystal, your blog has been such a blessing to me over the many years! God Bless you and your family

  • Katie says:

    Loved this post! Thanks for speaking truth and being brave enough to always be real with your readers!

  • Kim says:

    Thank you for this post Crystal – you are a beautiful person!

  • Anna says:

    I agree with not comparing. For sure. She’s a princess, after all! (duchess). We’re most of us just average middle class folks.

    But, hey, she’s a princess! There’s also no need to get huffy and offended that we don’t look like she does, after just having a baby. Let her be beautiful and glamorous as she is, with her entourage of people getting her pretty. It’s ok that there’s a “story book” royal family out there. In fact, it does my heart good to see their beautiful family, and I wish them all the best. I basically agree with this post, but I think it doesn’t need to become a big issue of basically jealousy and why can’t I look that good. Let her be beautiful, and let us be content. 🙂

    • Crystal says:

      I agree with you! I love seeing a story book royal family, especially in a world filled with such chaos. I don’t understand why women tend to be jealous of beauty, or talent, or whatever. Can’t we all just be happy for each other, and content with our lot? If you feel frumpy, do your hair, get out of pi’s and maybe exercise a bit. I’m coming out of a 2 year slump of frumpiness, and it really feels great to give myself a little TLC. Grace for the rough days? Sure! But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with getting prettied up, and no need to say backhanded things like, glad I don’t have her life! Jeeze. Well wishes to the royal family!

  • Maria says:

    Thank you, Crystal!
    Why is it always easier to tell another mom this than to believe it ourselves?

  • Jessica says:

    I am always reminding myself that celebrities and such have a team of people that make them look like they do. Without that team of people, they would be ‘average’ like the rest of us. They have makeup artists, personal fitness trainers and chefs, choreographers, back-up dancers, and handlers (I think that’s what they’re called?). I always remind myself that without all of these people to help them, we wouldn’t know their names. Oh, and then there’s the people who retouch their photos.

    Someone on here commented that it’s all an illusion, and it really is. I’m done chasing illusions and done trying to measure up to something that isn’t even real. I get fired up about this sort of topic because I’m so, so tired of how women are portrayed in the media. And it’s sad because we all feed into that ugly machine. It wouldn’t be there if people didn’t want.

    So we’ve gotta tune out that noise and be ourselves and be who God made us to be, not who other people think we should be.

  • christie says:

    and I remember the horrible comments about her appearance when she left the hospital after having George. I am sure she wanted to avoid those. I admire her poise under the constant microscope

  • I truly believe that every mother is beautiful the day they bring their baby home from the hospital. And brave. Beautiful and brave … just like Kate.


  • Mylynda says:

    Crystal, thanks for posting this. I am blessed to be surrounded by supportive, spiritual and prayerful women. So, I know how uplifting and secure it is to have a crowd of prayer warriors either helping to cushion the falls or picking me up and pushing me back in the arena. Women NEED to encourage one another and we all need to be encouraged. Thank you for being courageous enough to address so many of the issues that women are afraid to even admit to other women, much less ask for help with them. You are such a blessing. I pray that in return, you are blessed daily.

    Instead of being envious of Kate or being glad that “we don’t have her life”, we should be lifting her up in prayer. It can’t be easy carrying, giving birth to and raising your children in the public eye. All the while, being a supportive wife.

  • Star says:

    I gave birth to our 4th the EXACT same day as Kate! Jammie pants and comfy tops for me and I am perfectly fine with that!

    While getting dinner (crock pot lasagna!) on the table tonight, my wonderful husband looked at me and we laughed about how we will somehow survive this chaos! We know it will become the new norm, but we’re not sure how 🙂

    Your message hit home fore sure!

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