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5 Questions to Ask When You Feel Like Quitting Your Blog (or anything in life)

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Megan emailed in the following:

I read your post about the three most important things to do after you start a blog, and I enjoyed it. I do have a question though that I’ve had for a long time, and was excited to see you were accepting questions! It’s a question I have asked myself every day for the past 6 months: What do you do when you’ve tried everything the experts have said to do, it’s still not working and you don’t have any extra money to invest in any more courses, consultations, or books?

I’ve been blogging for over a year now. I have read your posts on blogging, have read Ruth’s book (How to Blog for Profit without Selling Your Soul), have read other books, have watched the Author’s Summit videos, have read article after article, changed ad placements, guest posted, added better pictures to posts, wrote personal posts, have done TV interviews, have reached out to other bloggers, constantly retweet other bloggers, share content from other bloggers, and have recently re-done my site.

I still struggle to get traffic and “conversions”. I may have 98 views on a coupon deal post, and only 1 coupon print. Honestly, I’m exhausted. I feel like I wasn’t “cut out” to be a blogger…only thing is, I love writing and always have. I’m at my wit’s end. I’ve tried everything I have ever read to do and it just doesn’t work…what am I supposed to do now?

I’m not sure if this is something everyone at some point has struggled with, or not. I just didn’t think I would still be struggling after a year. -Megan

Can I just encourage you, Megan? I think all of us have felt this way at one time or another. Personally, I know that I’ve felt this way multiple times. In fact, I probably feel like quitting every few months.

I well remember my first few years of trying to start a business from home. I would put in hours and hours and hours of work and see very, very little fruit from that effort. Every time it felt like I was starting to gain a little momentum, I’d experience another setback.

It was probably at least two solid years of really pouring, pouring, and pouring myself into this online business and blogging thing before I really started to see true fruit and return on my investment. And then it was another few years before I got to the place where I was earning enough to convince myself it was time to bring on more help so that I could actually have breathing room in my life.

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But I didn’t just feel like quitting in the beginning; I still struggle with feeling like quitting now. Just in the past few months, I had some hard, hard things happen business-wise that were so discouraging there was a two-week stretch where I really, really wanted to quit.

I had invested a lot of money and time into multiple things that felt like they fell flat on their face, I was getting a boatload of critical comments and emails, I was discouraged and tired… and I wondered what I was even thinking doing this blogging thing. Should I just quit altogether? Was it even worth it?

I’m not trying to discourage you, I just want to be honest that sometimes, this owning your own business thing isn’t all its cracked up to be. It’s draining. It requires long hours. It involves a lot of setbacks. And it’s easy to get discouraged.

In those moments when I want to throw in the towel, here are 5 questions I ask myself:

1) What is my “why”?

It’s incredibly important to have a why for doing what you’re doing. It can’t be to make money — though it’s totally wonderful if that’s one of the results. It’s got to be deeper than that, though.

What is the reason you started? What is your heartbeat behind what you’re doing? What’s your motivating force and passion?

Is it to help people save money? To inspire people to get their lives in better order? To bring hope? Is it to brighten someone’s day or help someone have more purpose in their life?

Whatever it is, write that why down and refer to it often. Tell it to your closest friends and have them remind you of it when you are feeling like nothing you are doing is working.

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2) Am I doing what I love?

So often, we think we know what we love. But until we actually dig in and do it for awhile, it’s hard to really know.

I know many bloggers, including myself, thought we were really passionate about a subject or idea. But after months of writing about it over and over again, we lost that passion and spark.

You might love writing, but make sure that the subject you’re writing on and the way you’re writing about it is fueling you instead of completely draining you.

For me, I like to write different kinds of posts on a wide variety of topics. If I always wrote the same kinds of posts and they were all on a very small, niche topic, I’d burn out quickly.

Giving myself permission in recent years to use this blog to write about whatever I’m inspired to write on has breathed new life into my writing. It’s allowed me to exercise new writing muscles, try new writing styles, and refine my writing voice better.

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3) Am I trying to chase someone else’s dream?

This is a hard one, but it’s important. I’ve tried chasing someone else’s dream before and it crashed and burned.

You see, when I had my first blog and was experimenting with monetizing that blog, I met a family who was making good money (something like $1400 per month) just by having ads on their sidebar.

The topic of their site was something I thought I could write on and, since we really needed the money, I spent a lot of time setting up that site and preparing it to launch. I remember calculating in my head all the money I’d be making from it and how it was going to be such a financial blessing to our family.

There was just one problem: the site never gained any momentum at all. Instead, it fell flat on its face. Why? Because I was chasing someone else’s dream.

Make sure that what you’re pursuing is actually your dream, your ideas, and your passions. Don’t run after the latest ideas and suggestions just because they are working well for someone else.

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4) Am I seeing any upward momentum?

This is an important question to ask because it’s easy to overlook the good that’s happening and focus solely on the discouraging things… the lack of traffic, the drop in Facebook Likes, the fact that no one is retweeting our posts.

Are there good things happening, too, though? Maybe you’re seeing a slight increase in click-throughs from Pinterest, or some growth in your Facebook Page followers, or you’ve gotten a comment or two this past month.

Look for those positive things, those increases, those upward trends and make sure that you remind yourself of those when you want to be discouraged about other areas that are standing still or decreasing.

It’s also important to remember that there are ebbs and flows in blogging — and in any business.

Even now, we have months when we bring nothing home because all of the income is invested back into the business or into paying business expenses. When those low income months come or when traffic tanks, it’s easy to start getting nervous or stressed.

I have to remind myself that peaks and valleys are all part of running a business. And this is also why it’s important to have a good emergency fund in place for the business and to set aside the bulk of the extra income during those peak months to help offset the valley months.

In addition, it’s important to remember that traffic and income aren’t the only ways to gauge progress. If I’ve learned and grown individually, if my marriage has been strengthened, if I’ve had the opportunity to encourage and bless someone through my blog, if I’ve chosen to be offline in order to invest in people… if my stats are down because life is in a healthier place, that’s more important.

5) Am I forgetting that success requires sacrifice?

In the last few years, person after person after person has made comments to me like, “Man, it must be so nice to be you!” “It must be so nice to make a full-time income blogging, get invited to speaking gigs, get to travel, have a great team, have a successful blog…”

You fill in the blank, people have probably said it.

And here’s the truth: I’m incredibly grateful and humbled to be where I’m at today. I don’t take it for granted and I know that it is the result of God’s blessing, hard work, and all of you readers who show up here every week and read, comment, buy my books, and tell your friends.

But I want to be frank with you and tell you that this life of running my own successful business, speaking, traveling, having book deals, getting media opportunities, etc. is not always fun and glamorous.

For instance…

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The week I recorded my audiobook, I was stuck in this tiny, drafty room in the basement of a house that had been turned into a recording studio. I was having voice problems and we had to break the recording into three days just to be able to get a good enough recording.

It was grueling work and I would go home beat every single night.

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People often gush to me about how amazing it must be to get to travel all over the country and how cool it is that I get to see all these historic landmarks and interesting places.

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The truth is: I spend most of my time on trips holed up in hotel rooms practicing my talks, getting slides ready, calming my nerves, keeping up with blogging, and missing my family.

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I think people often get the impression that I spend my days with full-on makeup doing cool things like filming in front of bright lights and cameras.

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The truth is: Most of my days look more like this.

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And there are multiple nights per month that are like this where I’m up late after my family goes to bed, no makeup on, hair a mess, yoga pants donned, wearing my neck wrap because my neck aches, pressing through to finish a project for a looming deadline.

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And while it’s fun to get to do gigs where you have a makeup artist on set to help you look your best, you never really get to enjoy it because you’re so nervous about whatever is coming next once the makeup artist is done. 🙂Screen Shot 2015-04-30 at 9.16.58 PM

I share these pictures and this reality because I think it’s good to remember that “success” of whatever kind doesn’t come without a lot of sacrifice.

It’s good to become experienced at doing hard things. At pushing forward even when you’re tired. At focusing on the positive even when it feels like there are so many negatives.

This resolve and perseverance is imperative if you want to blog or run your own business or do anything for the long haul.

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So those are 5 questions I encourage you to ask yourself, Megan (and anyone else who feels like they are in a similar boat to Megan.) I also encourage you to ask those closest to you to answer these questions about you. I find that honest assessment from those who know me best is highly information and helpful.

In addition to asking yourself those 5 questions, I’d suggest possibly considering doing one or all of these four things:

  • Take a break — Sometimes, stepping away from the thing that’s draining us can be the best thing to help us clear our heads and have better perspective. Consider taking a few days off from blogging to see if you have any clarity and direction by doing so.
  • Try something different — Try vlogging or blogging less or only posting on topics as you’re inspired or posting fewer deals and more content pieces. Change things up and see if that gives you fresh inspiration — or maybe even increased engagement on your blog.
  • Stop paying attention to the noise and stats — I really encourage you to set boundaries on how often you check your stats. In fact, if they are discouraging you, it might be wise to just completely stop checking them for a period of time. That sounds drastic, but I’ve found it to be a good thing if I’m becoming too focused on stats.
  • Remember what really matters — What’s going to matter most in 25 years from now? Make sure that you are intentionally investing time and energy each day into those things.

What advice, suggestions, and encouragement do the rest of you have for Megan?

P.S. Want some step-by-step help to get started making money blogging? Check out this post where I walk you through how do just that. Have a question on blogging or business that you’d love for me to answer in a post? Leave a comment with your question here.

5 Questions

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  • This was SO encouraging Crystal. I needed to read this today. Blogging is exhausting at times but it’s so true. When you are doing what you love and when you know your purpose – the sacrifice is well worth it.

    The one line that spoke volumes to me was to not chase someone else’s dream. There are so many opportunities that come our way as bloggers…and I’ve been known to say yes to things just because it seemed like the “next step” when really it was not part of “the dream” or what I believe God was calling me to do. I’m still learning and growing – always a work in progress. 😉

    Thanks for your words of encouragement today.

    • You’re so welcome! And I loved this line:

      “I’ve been known to say yes to things just because it seemed like the “next step” when really it was not part of “the dream” or what I believe God was calling me to do.”

      Yes and amen! Thanks for the encouragement that you are!

  • This is hands-down, the BEST post I’ve read on this topic.

    I’ve been blogging for 4 1/2 years and I’ve felt this way so many times. Discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I’ve been seconds away from sending out a final goodbye post. I’ve cried and stomped my feet in frustration.

    I’ve seen so many of my blogging friends quit because they just couldn’t do it anymore. While I completely respect someone’s decision to step away, I wonder if advice like this would have helped them make a different choice.

    Blogging is a lot of work but the suggestions you’ve shared here definitely help to realign our purpose and vision.

    Thank you so much for sharing this reader’s question. I’m certain it will bless many bloggers in the years to come.

    Pinning this to my Deliberate BLOGGING board.

    Wishing you a lovely week.

  • Antonella says:

    Hi Crystal,

    I love how you always strive to incourage your readers 🙂 I’d like to offer just my 2 cents on this issue: blogs were born as a way to express oneself, as diaries or online conversations which could unite strangers from all over the world, “bonding” on the same passions, frustrations etc.
    With time, some blogs became profitable because they gave solutions to people’s problems and/or inspiration to better oneself/work/lifestyle etc. After 15 years working in advertising and publishing, I saw how bloggers have changed the game becoming real forces on the market: influencers, authors and so on, BUT…
    As well as in conventional publishing, advertising etc not everybody is made for this, not everybody is able to succeed and not everybody is an entrepreneur. I feel that many women who see blogging as a way of earning money aren’t really analysing if they are able to offer something of great value to the public, esp. in such a saturated blogging world. We are not in 2009 anymore, competition is fierce and the need to offer more polished content is big esp. if you don’t already have a strong following. (Maybe the new frontier for online success is social network or videos or whatever…)
    I feel that blogging can be a funny, intelligent way to express oneself, or – if an entrepreneur – a nice and almost free way to promote one’s business (Etsy, brick and mortar etc) online.
    But monetizing is not a real possibility for everybody, unless maybe if you find a profitable, small or local niche that’s been avoided until now?

    I really would love to know what you think about it, seeing that you are so successful in blogging and an inspiration to all of us 🙂

  • Rhonda says:

    Since you like to write, why not work on making your money as a freelance writer and writing for online blogs/sites? There are some great communities and networks for that, as well as resources for freelance writers. I make money in part-time work by writing for other sites, rather than my own blog, which isn’t big or famous.

  • Monica says:

    Crystal, Thank you for your transparency and honesty. This past year I have loved your posts more than ever as you’ve been sharing about your life and struggles.

    I’ve been a reader since January 2011 when I was nursing my twin girls and had just left my full-time job with a good salary and was looking for ways to save money as my husband took on the huge financial responsibility of supporting us all. Your blog has helped me (and us) in many ways, so a big “thank you!” for all you do.

    I know exactly what you are talking about with spending time in a hotel room and being away from your family not being as glamorous as it sounds. I used to travel for work and although I love traveling for pleasure I didn’t enjoy it for business. I missed my people. 🙂

    I recently decided to revisit my blog and move full steam ahead as I’ve thankfully had some health issues resolved. It really is a lot of work but there are things I really enjoy about it and I’m excited about the future of it as I refocus and make some changes! I have no doubt there will be many struggles as I move ahead but I’m ok with that. I think going into it with an understanding of the challenges and sacrifice is critical so I appreciate your post.

    You are an amazing inspiration to so many women as you continue to move forward and do what God has called you to do even when things are tough!

  • Jaime says:

    It has been so exciting to see your success unfold on your blog, but this post was very special. Your humility is inspiring, and you’re able to communicate in such a way that is gracious yet real. Thank you for the work you do, Crystal!

  • Joan says:

    Thank you so much for sharing! As a newbie to the blogging world, I appreciate the inspiration when I am already questioning myself. The doubts are always there, but I feel like God has lead me to begin my blog. It took many family and friends encouraging me to get me going because I was afraid no one would read it and I wouldn’t succeed.

    Your post touched many points of concern for me and gives me some comfort that I’m not the only one having these feelings. Thanks again for inspiring me daily in some way. I look forward to your posts every day! 🙂

  • Kate says:

    I really appreciated this post! While I am not a blogger, I am a church planter and there are definitely days when I feel like quitting!=) It’s good to remind myself of the why and that this requires sacrifice (but sacrifice that is so worth it!). I also liked the question about are you chasing someone else’s dream. It’s easy to look at what other church planters do but that may not always work for us and our city! Anways-thank you for the encouragement!=)

  • Katy says:

    I’d like to thank you, Crystal, for your lovely, thoughtful answer and you, Megan, for reaching out with your email and being honest about your journey. I feel so many times that the blogging world is full of “Do this and that, then you’ll make money!” posts or pins. So I’ve done this and that, and then nothing. I’ve tried a lot of things since 2008 and make a couple hundred dollars a year. Stepping back from pursuing money has made me more aware that I blog for joy. It is my creative outlet. And I love when people find my posts and comment. Just last night someone who is expecting in December found my post about having a December baby and genuinely thanked me for it. It helped her and that made my day! And that is why I keep blogging.

  • T.O. Weller says:

    It’s so great that you share your feelings — and your ambivalence — about the blogging life. I wish more of the successful bloggers would do this; reading their ever-eager, “go-get-em” posts can be really demoralizing for those of us just starting out and having a bad day.
    I myself went A-WOL for the whole month of April, for personal reasons that turned into much more than that as the month progressed. I just wrote about it and how I’ve decided to move forward.
    Side note: as small as my blog is at this point, the response to my post has been really touching and I feel blessed by my small yet wonderful community. Thankfully, I pushed through so that I could be reminded.

  • Gina says:

    I loved (and needed) this so much. Thank you, Crystal!

  • Tara says:

    I have now had my photography business up and running for a little over two years. This article hit home with me and am so grateful you shared it. They were try wirds I needed to hear today.

  • I second all the comments, and thank you for your honesty and insight. When I first started blogging, I had a “if you build it, they will come” mentality – and was blown away by how incorrect that phrase is! You’re right, in that success doesn’t come without sacrifice.

  • Dee says:

    How quickly we forget that how things look online are seldom how they look in real life 🙂

  • Thank you Crystal for your transparency and honesty! I read this post last night and it really resonated with me because I tend to be too hard on myself most of the time. I am so happy to know that I am not alone in my quest to never sacrifice integrity for growth.
    I recently realigned my blog to redirect my focus back to coaching instead of coupon deals. I learned that I absolutely abhor writing deals because I would much rather be coaching! Seeing that mistakes are normal, frustration is vital for growth and having a community of fellow bloggers that I can relate to is beyond valuable!
    I am hesitant to let down my walls and become vulnerable or transparent to my readers but I have the courage to step out and test the waters with your encouraging posts! I feel like the things you write really speak to me on a personal level and I want to jump out of my shell and shout to the whole world that I feel the same way! Or jump out and share something about myself on my blog too!! Haha!!
    Thank you for all that you do! I admire you and I really do enjoy reading your posts!

  • Linda says:

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that feels like giving up sometimes. Blogging is hard work, but I do love it, so I stick with it. Glad you stuck with it too Megan 🙂

  • This weekend, I posted on my writer’s group FB page that I needed to stop writing and focus on my family. I have been caught up, like Megan, in all of the on-line resources telling me how to be a successful blogger, when, reality is, progress is SLOW and sporadic. Also, I realized that I need to refine my writing focus- my why- so I don’t get side-tracked by lesser pursuits. This was so timely for me to find; thank you for confirming that taking a break is okay.

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