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Tag Archive: The Crystal Paine Show

Modesty, Legalism, and Grace

Want to hear our thoughts on legalism and grace and how this plays out in our decisions and convictions? Be sure to listen to this week’s episode!

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Ever since Jesse and I did our show on breaking free from legalism, we’ve received a lot emails, messages, and comments all asking similar questions.

The questions were all something like, “If you don’t adhere to legalism, what should you adhere to?” “How do you determine what you should believe and practice?” “What kind of convictions should a Christian have when it comes to dress, music, dating, a woman’s role, etc.?”

In this episode, Jesse and I dig into the concept of standards and how to know what to believe and practice in light of grace and the Gospel. We tackle some tough topics — like modesty — and share how we process through what is right and wrong when it comes to standards.

While I don’t expect you to agree with every thing we say, I hope that this episode will challenge you to think about what you believe and why you believe it and the choices you make and why you make them.

In This Episode: 

[00:26] – Welcome back to the show! This is a different show than we usually do because we’re going to take a deep dive into the topic of legalism.

[01:57] – Listen as I read the listener email that inspired us to do this show.

[03:28] – Jesse starts off with his thoughts on the email and the definition of standards.

[06:03] – Is your reason for doing something to please someone else or to “fit in”?

[07:09] – The basis of any standard should start with your heart.

[10:14] – Who do you believe God is? Your actions might show that it’s actually different than what you say.

[11:42] – I share my favorite phrase in the Bible that applies to this topic and how it has profoundly impacted my life.

[17:35] – So what standards should we set? How do we decide how we should act and what convictions we should hold?

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How I Plan My Day to Stay Organized and Get More Done

Want to know how I plan my days? In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I share the apps and tools we use to plan our days and how this works for us.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

The Apps and Tools We Use to Plan Our Days

A question I get asked often is, “How do you plan your day and keep track of everything in an organized manner?”

Well, in this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I not only share what’s saving our lives and talk about books we are reading, but we also give you an insider look into how we each plan our days.

Jesse’s time management plan is a little more detailed than mine, but it works for him. He uses his Appigo app, his Michael Hyatt Full Focus Journal, and our family Google calendar to keep his tasks in order. For me, keeping three separate calendars would feel like overkill, but it works well for him.

I like using my Google Calendar to brain dump all of the tasks and the activities for those tasks into one place. I share how I use a hybrid system of Google calendar + a time-blocked to do list and talk about why this works so well for me.

Oh and I also talk about one tip that makes such a difference that I was a little embarrassed to admit until I saw that Cal Newport does it, too!

In This Episode: 

[00:26] – Welcome back to the show! We share about our recent trip to Georgia, our time at Sweetwater Creek State Park, and my Mastermind one-day event.

[05:31] – What’s saving our lives? Jesse: Appigo, his to-do list app. Mine: our electric tea kettle!

[07:54] – Jesse’s reading The E-Myth Real Estate Investor. I just finished The Last Christmas in Paris.

[11:51] – Today we wanted to share how we plan our days, especially since summer is almost over!

[16:24] – With his 3 different calendars, how is Jesse not duplicating work/tasks? 

[17:25] – Learn why I love using Google Calendar to brain dump my day!

[19:00] – While I don’t usually use my calendar for everyday tasks when I’m developing a habit I set a daily reminder.

[20:39] – In the evening, I block out my time for the next day.

[21:48] – My one not-so-minimalist habit is re-writing my task list halfway through the day and I share the three reasons why I think this is so helpful.

[26:02] – Set realistic timeframes for the tasks on your list and start simple.

[27:35] – Download my PDF on how I plan my days with Google calendar.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How to Have a Stronger Marriage

Want to have a stronger marriage? In this episode, Jesse and I talk about our #1 tip for building a stronger relationship and having less conflict and disagreements.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Jesse and I are so very, very different. And I love it so much (well, most of the time!)

Case in point: Jesse and I went to Home Depot recently to pick out lighting fixtures for the bathroom renovation. I walked in, scanned the shelves, and picked the first fixture that was inexpensive and looked like it would match.

Jesse, on the other hand, had spent at least an hour beforehand looking at multiple websites, researching brands, and comparing options. Then, in store, he analyzed the pros and cons, price, and durability of each potential lighting fixture.

Even though our differences can sometimes drive each other batty, the longer we’ve been married, the more we appreciate how our unique perspective compliments the other.

For instance, if I were the only one in charge of choosing a lighting fixture, my lack of research and hasty decision-making would land us with a lemon of a light fixture that wouldn’t work well and wouldn’t last.

On the other hand, if Jesse were solely in charge of picking out a light fixture, he’d probably still be in Home Depot right now… because there’s always something else you need to research.

And that’s why we need each other. He’s the slow down to my hurry up. And I love him so much!

When we stop trying to change our spouse and instead appreciate the gift that their differences bring to our life, it transforms our marriage!

In this episode, we share more about how learning to see, accept, and embrace our differences has changed our marriage in such a powerful way. And we share how this can apply to all relationships.

In This Episode: 

[00:26] – We’re back! Hear about our foray into fostering through respite care.

[03:48] – What’s saving our lives? For Jesse it’s the YNAB app. For me? It’s Waze.

[11:41] – Jesse talks about a book he just finished and I read a poignant excerpt of a book I just finished that goes hand-in-hand with our last episode.

[16:33] – Today Jesse and I share about our number one tip for creating a stronger marriage (well, Jesse isn’t quite sure about that!)

[19:20] – We discuss one of the things that has caused the most conflict in our marriage and how it has played out over the years.

[22:09] – Trying to change your spouse never works… it only creates more conflict and tension.

[22:55] – The secret to healthier, happier relationships? Recognize, own, and embrace your differences and see them as a gift.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

The lies we believed

Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? I definitely have struggled with this. In this episode, Jesse and I talk about how the lies we believe about ourselves can become our truths and can hold us back and make us miserable.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

For the longest time, the words that I believed about myself were, “Not enough.” I had believed this lie long enough that it became my truth.

The Lies I Believed

I believed I wasn’t good enough for friendship, so that’s why I didn’t have any close friends. To combat this, I became a world class people pleaser — and I spent years agonizing over whether people approved of me and working hard to win and keep approval.

I believed I wasn’t good enough when it came to school, so I tried to prove myself by becoming a workaholic and building a successful business. My hope was that this would show that I had worth and value. But I still felt like a big imposter.

I believed I wasn’t enough for my Heavenly Father so I worked hard to become the best Christian ever… and followed a strict set of rules for what I wore, what I did, what I didn’t do, what books I read, what kinds of movies I watched, who I associated with. But all of this made me feel like I just needed to do better, try harder, strive more.

I was inwardly miserable, constantly stressed and anxious, regularly struggling with panic attacks, incredibly lonely, and often suicidal.

The Truth That Set Me Free

And then Jesus swooped in and, through His grace and kindness, He revealed to me the life-transforming power of the Gospel.

He died on the Cross so I can stop striving. When I put my faith in Him, I no longer have to try to be good enough. I am covered by the blood and when God looks at me He sees *Jesus*.

It took me a few years to believe this truth and let it soak in deep. But when I did, it set me FREE!

I am… Loved. Accepted. Pre-Approved. I have incredible worth. In Christ. I am fully loved and chosen by the Creator of the Universe. And that is what defines me now.

Have you ever struggled with believing lies about yourself? Today on the podcast, Jesse and I share more about the lies we believed and the steps we took to break free from those lies in order to walk in freedom & truth!

In This Episode: 

[03:23] – Cleaning out the kids’ closets has been on my list… for months! Hear why I’m challenging you to go ahead and start/finish the thing you’ve been putting off!

[04:51] – What’s saving our lives this week? A Freeze Sleeve? Yup!

[11:25] – This audiobook surprised me.

[17:03] – Last week talked about responding to negativity with confidence. This week we’re diving deeper into being proactive in building confidence.

[19:44] – When we believe our own lies and that’s what we lead with, that’s what people believe about you.

[20:56] – Learn what started my journey in debunking the lies I believed about myself.

[23:48] – Jesse shares some of his internal lies and how this journey has affected our marriage. 

[27:46] – Your worth is not in what you do, it’s in who you are! I challenge you to seek the truth so that you can walk in confidence.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Graphic from @jenniferdukeslee

How to Handle Negative, Critical Comments

What’s the best thing to do when you get a negative comment or find out you have disappointed someone? In this episode, Jesse and I talk about how to handle negative comments and what true confidence looks like. 

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Crystal Paine with cup of tea

We Get to Choose Our Response

I’m coming at ya with no makeup and wet hair to say this important word to you: We can’t choose what other people say about us or say to us, but we do get to choose our response.

Every day, pretty much, I hear from people who don’t like something I’ve done or not done.

It could be as simple as the fact that I use plastic bags (a number of people have been really bothered by this recently) or something much bigger like that they think I’m failing as a leader (this was something that happened this past year in a leadership position I was in).

How should you respond when other people are bothered, hurt, upset, offended, or critical of you (or are expressing valid concerns)? Well, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this regard and have learned (and am learning!) a lot of things the hard way.

Our Response is Always Our Responsibility.

True confidence is not figuring out how to get everyone to like you; it’s confidently being true to who you were created to be — even when you know not everyone is going to like you.

This has been one of the greatest (and hardest!) lessons for me to learn in life… that it’s okay if I’m a disappointment to some people or people just don’t like me.

I won’t lie. I still struggle with this many days. But the more that I know who I am in Christ, the less I worry about what other people think. And the more I rest in how much I am loved by God, the less I worry about gaining the approval of others.

I think it will be a lifelong journey for me and I doubt I’ll ever be 100% over ever insecurity this side of heaven. But I’m celebrating the progress and growing confidence to be true to who I have been created to be, regardless of what others think.

This week on the podcast, Jesse and I have a real honest conversation about what to do when you get a negative comment or disappoint someone or someone is just not happy with you for one reason or another. We talk in-depth about how to respond and the difference between being confident and cocky.

Remember: we have no control over what others say to us, but our response is always our responsibility. ❤️

In This Episode: 

[04:38] – Listen for the return of “What’s saving our lives!”

[10:39] – Jesse and I talk about the books we have been reading recently and I share a quote from one that really impacted me.

[14:02] – Check out how to earn Amazon gift cards and hear about our new hot deals email list.

[15:49] – We dig into today’s topic on confidence and disappointing people. What is confidence? How do you build it? How is it different than being cocky?

[28:06] – It’s so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the negativity of the 1% instead of remembering that there is no way we can please everyone.

[30:03] – What does it look like to truly live as loved?

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Raising Kids Who Want to Talk to Us

How do you get your kids to want to talk to you? How do you foster open communication and trust? In this episode, Jesse and I share some lessons we’ve learned the hard way when it comes to building trust with our kids.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Building Trust With Our Kids

“Do you feel like you can come to us and share your struggles honestly?”

We sat the girls down last week and asked them this question. I told them that someone had requested we do a podcast episode on building trust and open communication with your kids and we wanted to get their truthful opinion on whether they felt it was a topic we could tackle.

Four years ago, I was deep in the trenches of parenting for my own reputation. When a child was struggling or had made a bad choice, I approached it — unknowingly — from the perspective of, “What will make me look good as a parent?”

It’s hard to admit that out loud, but it’s true. I cared way more what people thought of ME than I cared about my kids’ hearts.

As a result of this, I wasn’t close with my kids. I didn’t truly know their hearts.

There wasn’t a trust relationship built up and they didn’t feel like they could honestly share how they felt — because I would probably snap at them if I felt like they weren’t approaching something maturely enough. (They’ve since told me this was how they felt.)

The Guilt I Carried as a Mom

There was very little grace in my parenting and I carried around a heavy backpack full of guilt… for how I was failing, for the ways my kids weren’t living up to my expectations of them. All of this was rooted in my unhealthy prioritization of what others thought of me.

In turn, I became my kids’ critic, nit-picker, and Holy Spirit. I struggled to see the good because I was constantly frustrated by how they were falling short.

And every day, I was driving a bigger wedge between my kids and me.

This week on the podcast — with the girls’ blessing and lots of their input and suggestions (!) — we share what has changed in the way we approach parenting. We talk about practical ways we’ve fostered trust and good communication with our kids (most of the ideas we share are suggestions the girls gave — and they did not hold back in their thoughts and opinions on this!)

In This Episode: 

[00:57] – Jesse and I recap our travel adventures in Utah, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho — including our thoughts on Grand Teton National ParkYellowstone National Park, and Old Faithful.

[19:49] – Believe it or not, Jesse read more than me this past week! He shares the two books he recently finished.

[22:00] – Want your kids to keep reading over the summer? Check out this printable we created!

[23:41] – On this episode, we answer another one of our listener’s questions about establishing a trusting and open relationship with our kids. We talk about the importance of making time for one-on-one conversations, but not trying to force them. {Kathrynne’s advice!}

[29:19] – We also discuss how being willing to apologize and admit when we’re wrong can make such a difference. One thing that has made a big difference is us acknowledging with our kids that feelings are not wrong, but it’s how we act on those feelings.

[31:57] – Ask questions to open the doors of communication and listen rather than preach sermons! Step into your kid’s world and invite them to share in yours. Spend time doing things that your kids like to do!

[40:13] – We share ways we’ve let the kids make their own decisions in their lives, allowing us to build our trust.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!