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How to Have a Stronger Marriage

Want to have a stronger marriage? In this episode, Jesse and I talk about our #1 tip for building a stronger relationship and having less conflict and disagreements.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Jesse and I are so very, very different. And I love it so much (well, most of the time!)

Case in point: Jesse and I went to Home Depot recently to pick out lighting fixtures for the bathroom renovation. I walked in, scanned the shelves, and picked the first fixture that was inexpensive and looked like it would match.

Jesse, on the other hand, had spent at least an hour beforehand looking at multiple websites, researching brands, and comparing options. Then, in store, he analyzed the pros and cons, price, and durability of each potential lighting fixture.

Even though our differences can sometimes drive each other batty, the longer we’ve been married, the more we appreciate how our unique perspective compliments the other.

For instance, if I were the only one in charge of choosing a lighting fixture, my lack of research and hasty decision-making would land us with a lemon of a light fixture that wouldn’t work well and wouldn’t last.

On the other hand, if Jesse were solely in charge of picking out a light fixture, he’d probably still be in Home Depot right now… because there’s always something else you need to research.

And that’s why we need each other. He’s the slow down to my hurry up. And I love him so much!

When we stop trying to change our spouse and instead appreciate the gift that their differences bring to our life, it transforms our marriage!

In this episode, we share more about how learning to see, accept, and embrace our differences has changed our marriage in such a powerful way. And we share how this can apply to all relationships.

In This Episode: 

[00:26] – We’re back! Hear about our foray into fostering through respite care.

[03:48] – What’s saving our lives? For Jesse it’s the YNAB app. For me? It’s Waze.

[11:41] – Jesse talks about a book he just finished and I read a poignant excerpt of a book I just finished that goes hand-in-hand with our last episode.

[16:33] – Today Jesse and I share about our number one tip for creating a stronger marriage (well, Jesse isn’t quite sure about that!)

[19:20] – We discuss one of the things that has caused the most conflict in our marriage and how it has played out over the years.

[22:09] – Trying to change your spouse never works… it only creates more conflict and tension.

[22:55] – The secret to healthier, happier relationships? Recognize, own, and embrace your differences and see them as a gift.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

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  • Beth L says:

    You and Jesse sound just like me and my husband. He would’ve spent hours ahead of time reading product reviews, analyzing brand histories, checking Better Business Bureau ratings for light-fixture companies, weighing pros and cons of different styles, etc. He’s an electrical engineer and I’m a writer and sometimes his over-analyzing can drive me crazy! But we always end up with a quality product. 🙂

  • Rebekah Williams says:

    I am *so* glad you all are doing respite! We have fostered for years (well, adopted our 7th child which put us over the limit, had to relinquish our license for a few years until March of ’18 when we received a call asking us to take a sibling set that included a medically fragile kiddo. 16 months later, they’re still here & the case goal is now adoption…pretty sure my husband was joking when he said “Well, if God drops more kids on our porch then we’ll have the conversation about adopting them,” and that is *exactly* what God did.)

    Anyways – we have started The Foster Closet Cooperative in Columbus, KS – you can follow along on Facebook, but we have lots of ideas of how friends of foster families can help them in their journey even if they’re not called to foster themselves and would love to share!

    Thank you for shedding light on this extremely important mission field/cause!

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