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The lies we believed

Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? I definitely have struggled with this. In this episode, Jesse and I talk about how the lies we believe about ourselves can become our truths and can hold us back and make us miserable.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

For the longest time, the words that I believed about myself were, “Not enough.” I had believed this lie long enough that it became my truth.

The Lies I Believed

I believed I wasn’t good enough for friendship, so that’s why I didn’t have any close friends. To combat this, I became a world class people pleaser — and I spent years agonizing over whether people approved of me and working hard to win and keep approval.

I believed I wasn’t good enough when it came to school, so I tried to prove myself by becoming a workaholic and building a successful business. My hope was that this would show that I had worth and value. But I still felt like a big imposter.

I believed I wasn’t enough for my Heavenly Father so I worked hard to become the best Christian ever… and followed a strict set of rules for what I wore, what I did, what I didn’t do, what books I read, what kinds of movies I watched, who I associated with. But all of this made me feel like I just needed to do better, try harder, strive more.

I was inwardly miserable, constantly stressed and anxious, regularly struggling with panic attacks, incredibly lonely, and often suicidal.

The Truth That Set Me Free

And then Jesus swooped in and, through His grace and kindness, He revealed to me the life-transforming power of the Gospel.

He died on the Cross so I can stop striving. When I put my faith in Him, I no longer have to try to be good enough. I am covered by the blood and when God looks at me He sees *Jesus*.

It took me a few years to believe this truth and let it soak in deep. But when I did, it set me FREE!

I am… Loved. Accepted. Pre-Approved. I have incredible worth. In Christ. I am fully loved and chosen by the Creator of the Universe. And that is what defines me now.

Have you ever struggled with believing lies about yourself? Today on the podcast, Jesse and I share more about the lies we believed and the steps we took to break free from those lies in order to walk in freedom & truth!

In This Episode: 

[03:23] – Cleaning out the kids’ closets has been on my list… for months! Hear why I’m challenging you to go ahead and start/finish the thing you’ve been putting off!

[04:51] – What’s saving our lives this week? A Freeze Sleeve? Yup!

[11:25] – This audiobook surprised me.

[17:03] – Last week talked about responding to negativity with confidence. This week we’re diving deeper into being proactive in building confidence.

[19:44] – When we believe our own lies and that’s what we lead with, that’s what people believe about you.

[20:56] – Learn what started my journey in debunking the lies I believed about myself.

[23:48] – Jesse shares some of his internal lies and how this journey has affected our marriage. 

[27:46] – Your worth is not in what you do, it’s in who you are! I challenge you to seek the truth so that you can walk in confidence.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

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Graphic from @jenniferdukeslee

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  • Sarah in Alaska says:

    Can’t wait to listen when I get home from work today! Thank you for sharing this personal story.

  • Marie Makulilo says:

    What a beautiful witness! Thank you. We should not strive to be other than what Jesus calls us to be. That you definitely said. 👏 I would like to add that we should always be striving for holiness. He calls us to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect. We can do this with His grace. There are plenty of witnesses to this. God bless 💗

  • Patti says:

    Your podcasts keep getting better and better. I look forward to them every week. Thanks for sharing your truth🌻😊

  • Jennifer Thomson says:

    I LOVE THIS!! I have been following you for the past seven years and am constantly encouraged about how honest and true you’ve been. It has been so refreshing, helpful and most of all encouraging! Thank you so much!!

  • Jen says:

    Thank you! Another great episode. It hit home when you said would you say those things to your child or someone you love….Very helpful!

    Just wondering did you have a specific book or resource that helped you and Jesse with becoming aware of your thought process and changing it?

    • It was really the discipleship program at our church that made such a difference for us. One book that gives a great overview of a lot of thing we go through in-depth in the discipleship program is Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Also, Love Idol by Jennifer Dukes Lee.

  • Beth says:

    Any thoughts on being negative (speaking lies) and being realistic? For example, realistically, I need 8-9 hours of sleep to be a nice person and a good mom. I can get a way with less for a night or two but push it farther than that and pretty quickly I start getting angry, snippy, depressed, etc. This I know about myself. On the other hand I struggle with feeling inadequate in home decorating. How do you sort out the difference between knowing, “I’m speaking lies, I can decorate, I just need to have the confidence to put it out there” vs. “this is not my gift and I need to be at peace with that.”

    • I think you can totally say, “I’m not gifted at home decorating.” That’s very different than saying, “I’m not enough… I fail at everything, including home decorating.” Or saying, “I need 8-9 hours of sleep to function efficiently” is not a lie. To say, “I’m an utter failure and loser that I can’t function on less sleep” is. Do you see the difference? Does that help?

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