I’m pregnant with my first child (just found out yesterday) and I really don’t know the next step. What do I need to eat, when to start buying clothes, diapers for the baby to save money, how to prepare for the baby, child care, what are the essential things to have for the baby, how much will a baby cost, how many clothes does a baby need, how many diapers they need, etc. I’m overwhelmed. Can you please help me find answers? -Uma
Congratulations, Uma! What an exciting time!
One wonderful thing about pregnancy is that it’s nine months long (give or take a few days or weeks). While sometimes it seems like a very long time — especially during the last few months! — it can also be a blessing because it gives you time to prepare for having a baby.
Take a Deep Breath
So my biggest piece of advice would be to take a deep breath and don’t stress over things in the future. You can only live this moment right now, today. Worrying about tomorrow or eight months from now (or three years from now!) won’t change or help anything.
Find a Good Care Provider
Find a good care provider, be that a midwife or doctor. They will be able to answer many of your questions on what you should be eating and all your other pregnancy-related questions. I’d encourage you to look for a care provider who you feel like really cares about you, listens to you, and connects with you. This can make such a huge difference during your pregnancy and delivery!
What Baby Really Needs
Since I’m all about keeping it simple, we didn’t have a lot of non-necessities. In fact, here’s my list of baby must-haves:
–Clothes (For starting out, I think you can get by just fine with around six onesies, six sleepers, a few pair of socks, a few hats, and 4-6 blankets.)
–Bed
–Car seat
–Stroller
–Diapers/wipes (either cloth or disposable)
(And if you are unable to nurse–as I know happens on occasion, or if you are adopting, you would also need to add formula to this list.)
**For more on baby essentials, read this post.
If someone is planning a baby shower for you, there’s a good chance that you’ll get most of these things on this list. We were blessed to be given three different baby showers with our first. As a result, we didn’t even up buying anything but one or two items!
Diaper Stockpiling
I’d recommend starting to watch for diaper and wipe sales now — especially if you’re not planning to cloth diaper. If you find a great deal ($5 per package or less) and you have the wiggle room in your budget, go ahead and buy them. (For a good gauge on how many diapers to buy in which sizes, read this post.)
However, be sure to tape the receipt to the outside of the package. Not all brands work for all babies and all babies grow a different rates, so you may need to return some of the packages and if they have the receipts taped to the outside, it makes it extremely easy to make the return/exchange!
The Best Gift You Can Give Your Baby
Each and every baby is different, but the best gift you can give every child is love and nurturing. When I was pregnant with our first daughter, Kathrynne, we didn’t have money to buy basically anything since we were living on our beans and rice law school budget.
Even though Kathrynne had a very simple wardrobe and few things, it didn’t seem to hurt her in the least. We loved her, cherished her, talked to her, spent time with her, read to her, laughed with her, listened to her… and she’s now grown into a very active, athletic 8-year-old who excels in school (especially history, science, math, and reading) and can engineer all sorts of amazing things with a simple set of LEGOs.
I don’t know what the future holds for her, but her humble beginnings haven’t seemed to hold her back at all. And I think it truly exemplifies the truth that love and nurturing go far, even when your pocketbook is nearly empty. 🙂
For more advice and ideas, be sure to read my series on Having a Baby Without Breaking the Bank.
What advice, suggestions, tips, and encouragement do the rest of you have for Uma?
It goes by way too fast! It’s hard to see the forest through the trees, but once you are out of the baby years you long to go back there….lost in the forest enjoying the surprises.
For a great many baby items that you don’t get at your shower (s), buy used at garage sales and 2nd hand stores. You will be shocked at how quickly your child will grow out of things (clothes and toy type items both). Our 1st son used the exersaucer for 2 months…it was $99 retail. We bought ours for $12 in new condition at a yard sale and used it with both of our sons. It still only got about 4 months of use total and we resold it at our yard sale in nearly new condition. Odds are you won’t have to buy any clothes, people love to give baby clothes at showers. Again, buy used if you have to. Most of the time they’ve barely been worn because babies grow out of things so fast.
Be careful about stockpiling disposable diapers. My boys grew so fast that we used 1 package of newborn size, 1 package of size 1 and only couple of packages of size 2 diapers before they grew out of them. My boys were 7.8lbs and 7.1lbs at birth but weighed 26 and 22lbs at 6 month old. At a year they weighed 28 and 24lbs and then their weight gain slowed way down after that. I’m really glad that I didn’t stockpile smaller sized diapers. They stayed in sizes 3 and 4 diapers for a long time. (my boys are 7 & 9 now and are tall thin drinks of water…but they were really husky babies!)
Neither of my kids spent a night in their crib for the 1st year. Both were lousy sleepers and were in our room or in a recliner with me. Car seats are essential, a stroller is super helpful, Baby monitors are nice but I didn’t get much use out of them the 1st year. I tried a moby wrap, a ring sling, a baby bjorn and an ergo. My favorite hands down was the bjorn. The ergo was a close second (buy them used at yard sales.) I personally hated the moby and my kids were too big for it at 2 months old and I found the ring sling terribly uncomfortable.
I cannot agree more! Babies don’t need much! We went all out with #1 (thanks to several baby showers) and felt overwhelmed by all the “stuff”. By the time #4 rolled around, we had gotten rid of most of our baby gear, and just had the bare necessities left. In reality, that was all he needed. He’s a well-rounded, and well-loved little boy & the lack of stuff didn’t hurt him one bit.
Let Daddy help after the baby comes. He will do things differently, let him. All too often dads are put on the back burner while mom and her mom make all the decisions. If he is inched out, he will feel rejected and find other things that are important. Let baby be it as much as possible.. Best of Luck
I would talk to your doctor about the food thing. We got a binder at our first visit with each baby that laid out some of these questions.
If you want to cloth diaper, there are tons of options. I would start doing research. I would also encourage you to not buy too many cloth in the beginning. We ended up wasting a ton of money on diapers I liked, but just didn’t fit my baby that well. We also had one brand that decided to fall apart after a few uses and just wasn’t worth the money. Do your research, buy a few to try, and then supplement as you figure out what works for the body shape of your baby. You can often find used ones at yard sales or on Diaper Pin and they are fine as long as you wash them first.
I wouldn’t stock up on too much of anything until after you have a shower, if you will be having one. I know some people don’t have that luxury. Do lots of research and put things on your registry that you really need. Don’t be afraid to register for things that are essential like baby toiletries, diapers, wipes, and bottles. I’d recommend registering for at least a few bottles because you never know what may happen. My first had to go on formula for medical reasons and its really nice to be able to express milk with my second and leave a bottle so we can have a date night.
And if you are going to stock up on things, be sure you have a variety of sizes. Don’t buy 9000 size 1 diapers. They can always grow into the larger sizes. I would also buy a variety of wipes if you can find them on sale. Each brand is just a little different. Everyone has a different preference and you don’t want to be stuck with tons of a wipe that you just can’t stand. (For me that brand is Pampers) If you are going to cloth diaper, cloth wipes also save a ton of money!
Sorry this was so long!
congrats on your first baby, im awaiting my second daughter to be born in early January of 2014..heres what I’ve learned through my first years with my first born daughter….
1. keep it simple..my daughter was born in February..and honestly it was still chilly..we stayed in the house..alot..mostly because I didn’t want to expose her to elements, worried..etc. I was getting used to being a mom! essential items you need are a car seat, most hospitals wont let you leave without one properly installed in the car. blankets..if your budget is tight you can always cut and sew down larger blankets to fit the babies needs, or check out your local thrift shops, second hand baby stores, or even dollar tree sells little baby fleece blankets..diapers diaper diapers…be open to cloth diapering, I wish I had started earlier, read money saving moms info about starting cloth diapering on the cheap…and believe me..it seems gross at first, but once you get the hang of it you can really safe some money! if you don’t go that route, or if you use disposables like me when we were out and about..stock up now! I find that cvs is the best to score great deals on diapers..personal experience though. that’s with manufacture coupons, cvs coupons and there sales and ecb rewards. check into your local wic program, you may qualify if you have one which can save you tons on food for yourself {now that your prego you should be eating healthier and balanced} and once the babies born formula, baby food and cereal…and so on…baby clothes are definitely a dime a dozen atleast where im from…you can find cheap clothes basic onsies are what my daughter lived in for bout 3 months..and honestly shes going to be two and I have yet to put her in jeans, because shes 19 months she doesn’t need to look fashionable..shes a kid and runs around…gets messing..i want her to be comfortable and safe most of all…but everyone is different…simply is best and easy though! also….accept second hands/hand me downs graciously….I didn’t and still never say no…you never know if you will need it or if you are in good place and got what you need, you can pay it forward when you have experience under your hat. check into craiglist.com and their “free” posts. always go with someone you know to pick up or meet in public places to keep safe, but you can find a lot of people getting rid of stuff (baby stuff) on there. or freecycle.com a group on yahoo groups…everything is absolutely free, still be safe when picking up..and you make some really great friends (my experience)….
I accepted my brothers handmedowns and got a bunch of the large ticket baby items, and kept them in storage (my attic)…even if it seems to be gender specific and you find out your having another baby…accept it and use it…your baby wont know pink from blue and it certainly wont hurt them..especially how fast they go through each item…the car seat, the swing, etc…if you cant afford or aren’t getting a crib, you could always use a pack in play until you are able to get a crib…
good luck! and congrats! most of all..take you time..now and after babies arrival…..moms need it most!
First off, congratulations! So exciting to be expecting a new little one 🙂
One of the biggest purchases for me was my breast pump. Don’t buy one though! Under Obamacare, insurance plans now provide breast pumps! I had a really nice one delivered right to my front door from my insurance company. And I was able to order 1 month before my due date, so it was ready for me when the baby arrived 🙂 If you end up buying one, DO NOT buy a used one! Unless it is a hospital grade pump, they are single user….meaning not just one woman, but one baby as well, especially if they are an open system pump!
Having a few crib sheets and waterproof pads has been so helpful. And I double layer (mattress pad, waterproof pad, crib sheet, waterproof pad, crib sheet). This is SO helpful if there’s an accident during the night, just strip off the top sheet and pad and you’re good to go 🙂 I’m all for not having to change sheets in the middle of the night!!
About diet: I believe that “morning sickness” is at least partly due to drops in blood sugar due to hormonal changes of pregnancy. So I recommend avoiding sugar and any food that causes a rapid rise in blood glucose followed by a drop in blood glucose. It’s helpful to eat lots of protein throughout the day and even at night to keep your blood sugar on an even keel. Marilyn M. Shannon’s book “Managing Mornin Sickness” might be helpful with more nutritional advice.
http://www.amazon.com/Managing-Morning-Sickness-Marilyn-Shannon/dp/0960103619
PS – I’m expecting my seventh child, and though it’s early days, avoiding sugar and eating protein throughout the day seems to be helping me.
Hi Uma,
I didnt’ have time to read through all teh posts above to find out if somebody already mentioned it, but we have been tryign to conceive and when I searched for a good book on amazon I figured ” What to expect when you are expecting” to be a very good one. I have been borrowing it from my local library. It has a ton of information , sometimes overwhelming. I just keep it down for a day and then start again. Atleast that way I don’t think a lot about conceiving and the negative possibilities, but I know I am aware of major of the situations and can be prepared to know what happened. The book guides for every step. Also, I have found very good information by just googling keywords. All the best !!
Hi Uma, Others have given a lot of good advice about keeping things simple.
The best advice I can give is…God has made you enough. There will be so many times when you feel like you aren’t “enough”…you don’t know enough about pregnancy, you don’t have enough money to provide the things you want for your child, you don’t have enough experience to know what to do in a situation.
But it’s wrong. You have enough, you are enough. You were specifically chosen to mother this child and you will continue to be given what you need to do it.
My biggest piece of advice is to RELAX. Don’t stress about whether you’re eating the right foods, exercising enough or too much, or if your baby will be healthy. Listen to your body. It will let you know if you need to adjust. You will receive LOTS of advice; some good, some not. Again, relax. Listen but only apply what sounds logical, or what will work for you.
Even if you plan to breastfeed, you will want to have bottles and a can of formula, just in case.
Don’t be in a hurry to buy everything you need. Take advantage of the time you have to research options and prices. Also, don’t buy everything those baby magazines say you need. A wipes warmer is nice, but you can hold a cold wipe in your hand for just a few seconds and achieve the same results.
Good luck and best wishes.
One of the most important things you can do early on is find someone near you (friend, relative, etc.) who has had a baby or two before and whose parenting style you agree with. Find someone who will sit down with you and answer all your questions and listen to your tears when your hormones take over or you get overwhelmed. Make sure this person is not overbearing. Their sentences should not start primarily with “You have to” or “You must” but rather “I found what works for me is.” One of the biggest things you’ll learn during pregnancy and in your first months as a mom is to take everything with a grain of salt and learn to trust your instincts–you’ll know what works for you and what’s right for your baby.
I just had my second baby July 29th. As for the diaper stockpiling, it is something we did with our first baby a little bit. It helped out so much and we’ve done it again for this baby. Thanks to sales and coupons, I’ve stocked up on all the diapers we need through size 4 for $120. Living on $2000/mo. it has saved us many times.
Congratulations! I hope your pregnancy goes well. If you don’t already have a bunch of mom friends, now is the time to find some! Don’t wait until after your baby is born. Try and join a group like MOPS or your local mother’s club. I have found that moms who are done having babies (or think they are!) are always on the lookout for a new mom to pass along things to. I can’t tell you how many people, some that I barely knew, have given us boxes and boxes of clothes, toys, books, etc. I only have to buy a few things for my kids, so that really helps with the budget.
And I second everyone who says to do some freezer cooking, but I would do some now – that way if you start to have morning sickness in the next few weeks, you won’t have to spend much time in the kitchen.
Last thing – if you hope to have more than one child, try to get gender neutral items. You may have to keep the gender a secret if you want to accomplish this – I asked everyone for green and yellow but was inundated with pink at my shower anyway. The cute girlie stuff is too hard to resist.
There is a lot here, so let me not duplicate.
1) There is a TON of stuff on those lists they give you at Babies R Us that you probably don’t really need. Find a seasoned mom and ask her to review it for you. Today’s moms have a LOT of stuff. Not all of it is 100% necessary. If money is an issue, have someone you trust help you to sort through the necessities versus “nice to haves.”
2) It does really help to be committed to learning about and trying breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not easy for all at first, so I would also add to ask around for a good lactation consultant. We had some issues with my first that could have been largely prevented had I seen a good consultant right away. Unfortunately I saw two poor ones first and that was just not good. You are free to do what you want as far as formula supplementing but many people give up early because of problems. I would hate to see you miss out on the blessing that is breastfeeding because of that.
3) Food wise just eat healthfully! Eat whole foods as much as you can.
4) You are going to need more rest than you are used to. This is normal!
5) I found the book What to Expect when you are Expecting helpful for all sorts of strange and normal questions I had. Also your doctor or the nurse at the OB are very helpful.
6) Now is a good time to compare cloth diapers versus disposables. The price per diaper is going to be within a range. The amount of diapers your child uses in a day is very kid-specific.
7) Start asking around about pediatricians at least three months before the due date. You will need one when you deliver.
8) Just do the next thing. Don’t overwhelm yourself. You have ten months to prepare for this. You’ve got this.
Congratulations! The best advice I received was to read as many infant sleeping books as you can now while you are still able to sleep. I also found many parenting books to be helpful. Also, ignore the recommendations from your gift registry stores, as others said. You won’t need that much. As far as a stroller goes, if you are planning on having more than one child, look into a double stroller now. Expensive but well-worth it, as you won’t go through several in a few years time. We started out with and have loved our City Select stroller by Baby Jogger. It can be used for one child initially and then another seat can be added. I use this stroller everyday. All my friends now have one too.
Take a deep breath, relax, and let the next three months go by just enjoying the glow. I’ve seen too many people get all busy buying & buying and stocking-up, only to have it all end before the first trimester. Those first three months will tell you whether or not things are going to go to term…and after that time you can get everything ready. I know. That’s hard to wait, but it saves you in the long-run. So relax. Sleep. Take vitamins. Eat a balanced diet and get a good ObGyn and let nature progress.
Congratulations!!! That is exciting news :-). Eat healthy good for you food. Ask your doctor what is the best foods for you for your body. NO FISH!!Start saving money now! Start buying clothes after your about 16-18 weeks. My baby advice is get about a couple weeks worth of NB items and the rest higher aged pieces. About 6 small packages of NB diapers and the rest other sizes. SAVE RECEIPTS SAVE RECEIPTS. Try to breast feed and if you can’t or if it’s just not for you, formula feed. I tried to breast feed at the beginning of both my pregnancies but both times just was not for me. Still get a can or two of formula just in case you don’t produce enough milk or don’t like it or anything like that. STOCK UP on pads for after child birth you will still have to use them even if you use tampons. Stock up on baby shampoos, lotions, baby powder with corn starch, diaper cream, etc. Use SWAGBUCKS now to start getting gift cards and saving them so you can get a NEW grow with them car seat. (Better to know your car seat is safe and sound then adding another worry on you). All other item def. get them from consignment sales and the like (just clean and disinfect thoroughly yourself before baby comes). Now, my out-of-the-ordinary advice is save on breast pads and get panty liners make like a flower out of 4 liners and put the sticky side towards your bra to stay in place they work just as well and are alot cheaper with coupons you can get them free even!
I have a 4.5 month old (our first), and one piece of advise I wish I’d gotten regards maternity clothes. If you are planning to breastfeed, look for maternity clothes that double as nursing clothes. I didn’t think of this, and after the baby came, I had to buy more clothes, so that I could nurse in public without exposing my back and stomach. I do use a nursing cover, but even those tend to reveal your back and stomach if you have on a regular top.
If you’re having a baby shower, you might not even need to buy any clothes. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you register for, ladies LOVE to buy baby clothes, so you will get a ton.
Even if I didn’t have any showers, I got a TON of old baby clothes from friends who were cleaning out. I’ve been blessed with too much stuff with all 3 of my babies, and that’s even with giving tons away.
For my oldest, I will buy special occasion outfits on consignment, so that I’m not shelling out $30 for a Christmas dress that will get worn 3 times. (Now I’m more willing to buy newer holiday clothing, though, because all 3 of mine are girls.) Mostly, I find that I can buy a season ahead on clearance at Target and spend very little. I’ve even found a lot of good deals at the Gymboree end of season sales, which is great because their clothes are very well made and totally out of my budget at normal retail. Usually, I have almost a whole season’s worth of clothes ready about 6 months ahead of time. It’s nice too because I don’t need to make an urgent shopping trip the minute the weather changes.
Good luck!
Stocking up on diapers is great, but I don’t think you need to start this very early. Every baby is different, so it can be hard to guess what brand will work for you. Taping the receipt to the pack is a great idea. Just remember that most return policies require returns within 90 days, so last trimester is the best time to start in my opinion.
For eating, I recommend that you check out the site Blue Ribbon Baby. There is some great information there about eating.
Eating well and getting all of your vitamins will help you so much! It will make a huge difference to your baby! It also will make a huge difference to you.
Make sure you are getting at least 800mcg of folic acid every day, starting right away. This helps prevent many birth defects and is especially important from the very beginning.
Getting enough iron, vitamin b12, potassium and magnesium are also very important. They will help you to not be anemic, will eliminate “restless less syndrome” , and will help your body make the blood necessary to create another person!
Make sure to eat a large amount of protein (Blue Ribbon Baby has lots of ways to do this). Protein is muscle, and you are building a person made of muscles. Getting enough protein (60-90 grams a day) will prevent morning sickness. Keep hard boiled eggs on hand if you start to feel queasy, or some leftover beans or bean soup, as something to eat right away in the morning. A protein snack before going to bed can help, too.
I agree with Crystal – first thing is to make sure you have a good OB/GYN lined up. Get checked over, get some literature to read, etc. Also get on some prenatal vitamins pronto! As for baby’s needs – they don’t need all of the stuff that Babies R Us would have you believe! Start shopping carefully on Craigslist and definitely check out baby/kid consignment sales (I have found that church affiliated ones are the best!). Like Crystal said, go ahead and get diapers on sale. But my single best piece of advice is this – bargain hunt where you can (clothes, diapers, etc.) but invest in the BEST car seat you can (Britax in my opinion – check out http://www.albeebaby.com for good prices) and the BEST bottles you can afford. Everyone has different priorities but for me those were most important and I ended up being VERY happy that I spent the $ on good quality for both of those. My son ended up being small for his age and, b/c of that, continued w/bottles until he was 2 (with sippy cup tops we were able to buy that fit our bottles & rings). Also, he will be 5 next month and I am just now moving him out of his Britax car seat (into a Britax booster) – only b/c they expire after 5 years. It’s really still in great shape and fits him fine! If you can’t afford those items, start saving now or register for them if you think someone or a group will be generous enough to gift those to you. Best of luck and congratulations!
Not one single person ever told me this and I was SHOCKED, so let me say. Regardless of wether you do natural or csection you need to get some seriously heavy duty pads. The kinds for incontinence are often bigger and better for this brief period (ha!) of your life and you will thank your lucky stars that you have a few packs ready to go. Seriously, not one person said to me You are going to think you are bleeding to death but you’ll be ok.
While being pregnant is an amazing experience, the biggest things for me (depending upon the stage of pregnancy and postpartum) was being so tired, nauseous, headachey (is that a word?) during pregnancy; then having a very long labor; and finally learning how to breastfeed, increase milk supply, etc.
I’d have to say that what helped me during all three stages were therapeutic essential oils, since you can’t take anything while pregnant. Just simple things like peppermint essential oil for headaches and nausea, frankincense for stretch marks, lavender for sleep issues, and a whole other set of oils to ease labor and others to increase my milk supply…I learned so much from my pregnancies that I still use the oils on myself (and my kids) to this day, because they are safe and natural and no drugs involved. I wouldn’t consider myself an expert by any means, but I’m happy to share what I learned.
I agree with Ashley about this. One package of incontinence underwear and lots of pads are important for after the baby is born. The underwear are really helpful–they don’t shift in the middle of the night while you are laying at home recovering, and they hold a lot, which you will need.
Congratulations. Do not panic. Pull a few good books out of the library on the subject as well as talk to the health care people. Make out a plan of attack of the items you need. I would wait until baby is at least in second trimester and then shop garage sales, rummage sales, thrift stores, Craig’s list for clothes especially. I went overboard for my first deliberately, because I was working and did not know if I would get the clothes through the wash. I have done diapers for the first months and then switched to cloth after the babies are larger and the changes have decreased to every couple hours. But if I was still working I would not ask a child care giver to deal with cloth. Good luck and enjoy. (Mom of 10, 6, 4, and 6 months)
Such a great post. Babies do not have to be expensive! Maternity care is pretty pricey (we paid for our three out-of-pocket with no insurance, so I know!) but all the gadgets and equipment does not! You don’t need the whole Enstien collection to have a smart baby, you don’t need baby monitors, you don’t need a high chair (at least not right away) you don’t need a matching changing table and crib. We used the crib and cradle my MIL had, and a second-hand Pack ‘n’ Play. I didn’t even have a baby shower with my first, and yet bought almost nothing, thanks to grandparents.
Babies don’t wear out their blankets/sleepers/onsies, so hand-me-downs/used items are great. They may even look brand new.
I think it’s a good idea to get dye-free, scent-free detergent with a new baby. There’s no reason to buy a baby detergent per say but just using one without known allergens for a few months may be a good idea. But again this doesn’t have to be expensive since almost every brand now has a green detergent.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but- start looking for a few good story books. Plan to read to your baby. Also, a few good lullaby cds would be good. Sing! Be happy! Pray and seek the Lord’s guidance. 🙂
Children are an heritage from the Lord!
Congratulations! I bet you’ll be a fantastic mother!
Congrats! What an exciting time for you. My first suggestion for any new mom is to take a great birth class. I prefer one that is not hospital based. Great education is the key to an amazing birth! Birth Boot Camp would be my pick.
Congratulations!
While I don’t have any children of my own, I am the eldest of six with a mother who was very frugal. Here are some things I’ve picked up from observation with her pregnancies.
1. Evaluate the skills of those close to you. For example one of the traditions I’ve maintained with my nieces and nephews is to crochet them a blanket ready prior to their arrival. My mother also had a blanket she would make for new moms in her circle of friends that was a pretty print on one side and fleece with a “pocket corner”. You put the baby’s head in the corner, flipped the other up over their torso, and crossed the sides over. It was nice and warm to use during the cold IN winters and also as a quick warm up following baths.
2. For her first few pregnancies ladies from church would put together a schedule of volunteers who would bring dinner and/or lunch for about two weeks following the delivery. However, that effort tended to be focused on women having their first couple kids. By the time my youngest sibling was born there were only a couple people who had said to not worry about meals on certain days. To compensate she made about a months worth of dinners for the freezer and taught me how to make basic breakfast and lunch options. Ended up being a good thing because all of us got sick and she and the baby were quarantined to prevent him from getting sick.
3. If you have Facebook, let your friends know that you are looking for gently used baby clothes and furniture. Those whose youngest is into the 2-3 stage and aren’t planning on more children are usually more than happy to pass on their wealth of items either for cheap or free.
4. Relax and enjoy every change that comes along. Crystal really said it best above… Love and the basics are most important in a child’s development especially when they are young. We don’t miss what others have when our emotional and physical well-being is taken care of.
That is so true about people passing on things they are finished with- more children are not an option for us so as we have finished with toddler items (the baby stuff is long gone) they go in a pile and when people with kids the right age are here they end up being sent home with stuff if they can use it. A friend with twin toddlers was thrilled not to purchase holiday dresses or winter pajamas. Another friend with boys took toys and puzzles. Whatever is left and in good shape I post on Freecycle. It clears out space for the next generation of kid stuff and people were so kind to us- we received more than we could ever use for both girls and are retuning the favor.
Congrats! I was one that could not breastfeed due to medications, I signed up for WIC (Women, Infant, Children) they helped a lot with formula, they also give you “checks” for milk, bread, eggs, peanut butter, cereal, etc. while you are pregnant. My suggestion as for clothes would be to purchase 1- 3 pack of onesies in newborn, 0-3 & 3-6 months, 4 to 6 (0-3 months) outfits, 1 pack of socks/ booties, 1 packs hats, and 1 pack receiving blankets. Purchase these things when they are on sale & clearance priced. Diapers I would get 1 pack of each newborn, size 1 and size 2 (they don’t have to be huge packs). Since this is your first baby you will probably have a baby shower, that should cover the basics of large ticket items. If you have to purchase these items on your own, again shop clearance.
Pre-natal vitamins with folic acid.
That’s all. Everything else you’ll have time to figure out.
Congrats!
My husband and I just adopted a baby boy. We had less than 48 hour notice that we were getting him and we had to spend those two days getting things settled at work so we could get our little one and be off of work for a while. With that said, I sent a text to a friend who’s last child had just turned one. She gave me a huge amount of stuff – including bouncer, baby bathtub, bottles, bassinet, and tummy mat. Having the minimal amount of stuff at first has been wonderful. People are so generous and want to buy you lots of clothes. By the way, our 7 week old son is still in newborn sizes (but just barely). I know all babies are different so don’t be surprised either way. Also, having gently used baby items is wonderful because you don’t have to struggle putting it together. We did buy a new carseat, but I collected swagbucks for about 6 months and cashed in for Amazon gift cards. I think the tendency is to think you have to have everything you need before you get your baby, and while it may be nice to prepare and plan, it just isn’t necessary. The first week we had our son, he slept really well in his carseat in the grocery cart so we made several trips to register and get necessary baby items. It was actually very nice to get out of the house.
Uma,
I just had my first two weeks ago! nd it is overwhelming, and tempting to go buy a ton of stuff, but as Money Saving Mom pointed out, you really dont need that much…We had so much baught for us! People really do like to showernew families…so hold off on all purchases and register in a few months or after you find out whjat you are having if you decide to do that. I recommend What To Expect When You Are Expecting it will answer most all of your questions especsially about what to eat. Also Alphamom is another great blog with a pregnancy calender with really good witty advice and a registry checklist.
Great advice for Uma! One thing I am still learning as a mom of two is that less is more. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much stuff. It just adds unnecessary stress.
If you’re able to, join a MOPS group. MOPs stands for “mother’s of preschoolers” and you can attend even if your baby hasn’t been born yet. Just go to MOPS.org to find a group near you. They will support you, answer your questions, provide you with other mom friends and even bring you meals after the baby arrives. In the beginning, mothering can be isolating and lonely if you don’t intentionally reach out to other moms! If possible, don’t isolate yourself. It’s not healthy for you or your baby! (There are exceptions for medically fragile babies and such).
In my county, the county health department provides newborn car seats for anyone who asks.
I love the advice in the blog post above – simple and not over the top.
And all the reader comments are great too, but if it were me, it would overwhelm me even more! And remember everyone has a different opinion. Sign up for babycenter.com and they have a checklist/timelline you can sign up for (or at least they did last time I had a baby in March 2012 – I’ve had 3) so you’ll have an idea of what you should be preparing for over the coming months before and after the baby is born. but remember, you can plan til you are blue in the face, no matter what, once the baby is here it is inevitable things will not go as you expect – and thats not necessarily a bad thing. Go with the flow and go with whats natural. No need to stress over the small stuff. Make sure baby is heathy and loved – thats most important.
Eating while pregnant is pretty simple. Well balanced meals will keep you healthy and give baby all the nutrients it needs to grow. But don’t over eat, either!! Remember, what you gain you’ll want to lose again… I gained almost 60lbs with my #1!!!
By baby #3 (I ended up with 4 kids in 4 years!), my crock pot and freezer meals were my best friends!! Invest in a good one. It’ll last you for years and save many dinner times on those overwhelming and hectic days!!
Congratulations and good luck!!
Based on my own experience, I would definitely wait till you’re in your 2nd trimester to start buying stuff. As much as you don’t want to think about it, a lot of first time moms have non-viable pregancies before they have a viable one, and you don’t want a lot of baby stuff sitting around if that happens. Just makes it harder.
When you’re ready to start buying, I agree w/ the diaper advice, and even if you don’t “coupon” diapers are a good place to start as some stores let you “stack” manufacturer’s coupons with their own store coupons so you can get double the savings. Sign up for baby “clubs” with stores & baby companies to get extra coupons.
You won’t want to register for awhile, but baby registries usually give a good idea of things you might want/need for baby. At least it gives you something to think about. Talk to your friends who have babies & they’ll be able to tell you what things are “necessities” and what kinds of things are “extras” or “unnecessary.”
Now I know we all may want everything matching or brand new, but you can find a LOT of things at baby/kids’ consignment stores & that can save you a lot of $$! We have a gap between our 2nd & 3rd (due in a few weeks) & #3 has got all major baby equipment from consignment stores at HUGE savings to us! We’ve even got brand new clothing w/ tags on!! (You’ll probably want to wait till you find out gender to buy clothes, if you’ll find out gender.) C-stores are great for finding cute maternity things too. 🙂
Don’t be afraid to ask for second hand stuff, either.
I couldn’t afford a bunch of maternity clothes, so I asked a few friends of mine who already had kids if they had some older outfits they wouldn’t mind giving up. Not only were they more than happy to let me have them, I got TONS of their children’s old clothes, too! Everything from newborn to 3 years!
On top of that, my brother in law sent me a swing and bouncy seat my nephew had outgrown, and my sister gave me the bassinet my niece had outgrown. I also got a second hand bathtub, wipe warmer, bottle warmer, half-used packages of diapers that other kids had outgrown, half used bottles of baby wash and lotion, several hooded towels, and even a used (almost in brand new condition) play pen! And all of this before we even HAD the shower.
The only thing I wouldn’t get secondhand is a carseat, just because the safety standards change so often you want to make sure you have an up-to-date one and you never know if a used one has been in an accident unless you know the person that owned it.
But second hand stuff is awesome. Just wash it really good before you use it!
I got a lot of great hand me downs too: clothes, bouncer, swing, and bassinet. I really recommend buying a brand new car seat. We were in the financial position where this was an option, but my husband put it best: he didn’t want to cut corners on car seat or crib because if something happened, he could never forgive himself.
We do laundry so often that 3 or 4 pjs/sleepers an age and 6-7 outfits are sufficient. Our baby did wear NB for about a month and then was in all the other sizes at the age they specified.
Learn as much as you can about breastfeeding before you have your baby. Nursing is the best and most natural thing, but it has a learning curve and takes practice for mom and baby.
Sites like http://www.bestforbabes.org, http://www.lll.org and http://www.kellymom.com are PERFECT sites to help you learn everything you need to know.
Also- find friends or family members who have successfully nursed for help and support. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 6 months exclusive nursing and nursing for at least 1 year and the World Health Organization recommends 6 months exclusive nursing and nursing for 2 years.
Good luck!
I wanted to breast feed because I knew all the research but mostly, I wanted to save money. We had a lot of problems with nursing, well, really my baby did. The latch and positioning were perfect but she couldn’t suck correctly. Despite serious professional intervention and considerable financial investment (over $500), our final option was physical therapy at the children’s hospital 20 miles a way 3xs a week and my husband would have needed to take more time off work to help me alternate heat and ice on one side while nursing on the other. We switched to formula at a month. My case is extreme but there is an attitude that you can make breast feeding work for everyone.
Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work. AAP and WHO say a lot of things and in the ideal world, it would work out for everyone, but that is not life. There is too much pressure and guilt around breast feeding these days. I wish someone had said this to me, so I wanted to share with you.
For what is worth, at 10 months, our baby has had 1 cold (even though my husband and I and her old babysitter have had at least 6). She is talking early and was an early crawler. Being formula fed has not affected her health or well-being at all.
My biggest suggestion would be to go cloth, we started buying at the beginning of my pregnancy, I made my own wipes out of flannel scraps and you can buy 2nd hand diapers as well. Also, many pregnancy help centers offer free parenting classes, which are great and allow you to network with other soon to be parents, very often when you graduate the parenting class they give you a few baby items, clothes and sometimes even a car seat.
Do not open anything until you need it. That way if they grow to fast, you can return it for a bigger size.
As far as the number of clothes a baby needs, I would say decide how often you want/can do laundry and then plan on 2-3 outfits a day for the first few months. When my little girl was born I had to go to the laundromat, so my daughter had a lot of clothes. If I’d had only 6 outfits like Crystal suggests I would have been at the laundromat every other day and wasted a lot of time and money I didn’t have.
Congratulations Uma! How exciting!
I had twins and for us the stroller was a necessity – it was almost impossible to carry two babies by myself, especially as they got to be more mobile. I did have a lot of friends who only had one baby at a time and have never used a stroller. I guess I would say think about your life and how you live your life – would you need a stroller? would a wrap or carrier be better?
If you bottle feed, you will need something to mix formula (we used a shaker-mixer-bottle thingie – no idea what the real name of those is! 🙂 ), bottles, nipples, an insulated lunch-type bag to carry bottles when out and about, as well as the formula. Don’t buy more than a couple of bottles until after your baby tries them since babies can be particular about the type of nipple they prefer.
Most of all, just enjoy this time of expectation. Dream, think and then purchase. Look at your lifestyle and decide what you need. Babies basically need food, clothing, a place to live, a few things to keep them safe (car seat, for example) and lots of love and attention.
Blessings to you and your growing family,
Lea
Congrats! I echo the other comments, enjoy this time and try not to stress and just get prepared slowly. 🙂 I would wait a while before starting to stockpile/plan just because it’s so early, but I wouldn’t wait too late since you never know what will happen! Our situation was that my son ended up being in the NICU for two months. We ended up not using ANY of his newborn stage clothes and had to buy new things that had snaps because of all of the cords/IV’s, etc., he was hooked up to. 🙁 So, my advice would be…
1) Be stocked on clothes for those first few months but leave tags on in case you don’t use them! I wish I had done this. We did need a lot with my other babies (much more than 6…we often went through 4 blowouts a night in the newborn stages and I didn’t want to wash clothes when I’d rather be sleeping). 🙂 That way if you don’t use them or don’t need them, you can take them back or regift them. 🙂
2) Things I valued: breastpump, bottles, nursing pads and soothies (breastfeeding was not pleasant for me for a LONG time!!), onesies and sleepers primarily (I rarely wrangled with my kiddos to dress them up those first month, such a pain and they sleep so much anyway!), diapers (I stocked up early as much as possible- got various sizes and then got a ton of 4’s because kids are in those a lot longer….it was such a blessing!), car seat, pack-n-play (for us was a necessity once the kiddo got older and was also nice to put by our bed initially until I moved him over to his own room), pad for changing table (we didn’t have an actual dressing table, just used the top of a low dresser and put the cushioned pad on top), boppy (helped with nursing). We didn’t really use a diaper bag, I preferred a backpack especially when I had more children, was just more convenient to have more hands free. Stroller that reclined….those were the necessities for us. Also a cheap monitor was nice but I know for some people that’s not possible. It was a huge blessing to us personally. 🙂 I also second the pads comment. I actually had issues until about 12 weeks out for bleeding with one pregnancy and 8 weeks out for another. It was a pain to have to send my husband out for stuff (and he wasn’t very thrilled about this). 🙂
3) Try to wait until after showers to buy things. You might be blessed more than you imagine! This was difficult for us because our showers were super late so I ended up getting a lot in advance, which was okay because then I got diapers. 🙂
4) Freeze meals in advance and stock your pantry so you won’t have to shop during this time! I also stocked up on toilet paper, toiletries, etc. I didn’t want to have to deal with shopping during the first few months if at all possible! It’s always a blessing. 🙂 If you cover it well (aluminum foil and wrap multiple times) most food will keep well for quite a while actually.
5) Don’t compare to other moms or pregnant people- we’re all different and so are you. 🙂 That was a huge struggle and frustration for me. Just enjoy this special time. 🙂
6) Accept the fact that it will never all get done before baby comes and that’s okay. 🙂 You can’t control everything. 🙂
Congrats!!!!!!! 🙂
Melissa
Such great advice and congratulations, Uma! I would say a month or so before the baby is due, make some freezer casserole meals and maybe some freezer crockpot meals, too. Get as much rest as you can the weeks before the baby comes…just put your feet up, splurge on a pedicure. A few onesies and sleepers were all my babies wore the first month…my daughter wore a lot of the yellow and green sleepers passed on to us by my sister who had a son, but since they were yellow/green….who cares? Check yard sales for baby clothes and consignment shops. I would register for an exersaucer too… because my kids spent a lot of time in that when they were old enough to go in it. And I could plop it in the kitchen while I was cooking, or in the bathroom when I was showering and baby was happy and I could see her/him.
Crystal…I loved seeing those baby pictures in the article above…that has to be baby Silas, right? What a cutie! He reminds me of my son….with that sweet little bald head. Love it!
Yes, that was Silas. I had fun digging up a few pictures of him. Wow, time has flown!
CONGRATS! It is such an exciting time! Everyone kept telling me to stop buying things since I would get shower gifts, but it is so hard! I stockpiled diapers and wipes from the start of the second trimester on, and I am so glad that I did. Kroger had a sale a couple times of when you bought 5 Pampers wipes, you got them for 99 cents. Combine that with a 50 cents off coupon that doubles, and all I paid was tax. Yard Sales were also wonderful since I was pregnant during the summer while they were going on. Consignment sales are wonderful as well, and the one in my town offered an early shopping time for new moms. I was able to purchase my “dream swing” for $25, while Babies ‘R Us was currently selling it for $239!
Showers are wonderful too. I had 3, and while I got some great stuff, I also got a lot of things I never ended up using. People tend to buy what they want instead of off your registry from my experience. One thing I did once my showers were completed is compare prices between Babies R Us, Target, and Amazon to find who offered each item I still needed at the best price. I ended up saving a lot like this!
My perspective on this question is shaped by the fact that I just lost my first baby to a miscarriage after a long struggle with infertility. I’m not saying this to ask for pity or to scare anyone who is pregnant– you all know the statistics, your odds of carrying a healthy baby to term are really, really good. I’m saying it to make this point– instead of feeling overwhelmed, feel thankful. Cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving and joy and love regarding your baby– as I’m sure you already are! So many women out there are yearning for what you have right now. Be full of joy! Don’t spend so much time worrying about what you need to be doing and buying and eating– spend some of that time rejoicing about the sweet little life you are carrying! By choosing joy and thanksgiving instead of worry and anxiety over ‘stuff,’ you are giving your child an unfathomably great gift.
Congratulations! As tempting as it is, don’t buy anything until after your shower (if you will be having one). My children are 10 and 11 years apart with the last being a girl after 2 boys. I ended up with way more than I needed plus enough diapers / wipes for 3 months! It was a huge blessing. There are a few things I will say I loved!!! Gowns (so nice for the first couple of months), rock and play instead of the fancy bassinet (perfect for taking with us or moving around the house), large diaper bag. My MIL purchased an infant car seat and stroller combo for me. It was nice, but I really only took her out to church/ grandparents/and homeschool co-op. Therefore, I would have been fine with an umbrella stroller and an infant seat. Before spending money on the combo I would think about how active you are or plan to be those first few months.
If you are planning on needing childcare, start researching your options. In my town, the “best” places to go had a months-long waiting list for infants.
My kids needed lots of clothes. They both had acid reflux and spit up a TON of times every day for the first 9 months. I think most days we went through 4 outfits! Every kid is different, but just throwing it out there that 6 outfits would never have worked for us.
Congrats! My first piece of advice is to take good care of yourself and start praying for your baby. I’d also echo some of Crystal’s advice regarding keeping it simple. The one thing I would recommend for any mom who plans to nurse is to purchase a good electric double breast pump {and don’t feel like you are a bad mom if you can’t or choose not to nurse – people may make you feel that way}. I was under the impression that stay-at-home nursing moms would rarely use a breast pump, so I opted for a single pump. Once I had another baby, I ended up getting a double pump and am now about to list my single pump on Craigslist. 🙂 I know they are expensive, but you can always ask for gifts cards, keep your eye out for a coupon, or you can purchase the motor from someone on Craigslist and purchase all new parts/tubing. Good luck to you! Just keep your focus on what’s really important, growing a healthy baby. And pray for that little baby!
Definitely agree. A good pump is a must if you plan to nurse. I didn’t think I’d need mine until I was ready to return to work, but when my milk came in and baby still hadn’t figured out how to latch properly, it was a life-saver, for sure. Ask someone to show you how to work it beforehand–the instructions are not at all clear. Also, I believe as part of the new healthcare law, breastpumps must be provided (or covered at 100%) by insurance. Worth checking out.
Rachel is right–breastpumps must be covered 100% by insurance. However, each insurance company interprets the law differently. Some provide a single, manual pump while others cover a great Medela Pump n Style. Some require a prescription from your doctor, some don’t. Just call and ask!!
Double check with your insurance before you pay out of pocket for a pump- we ended up with a hospital grade machine for several months 100% covered due to latch issues.
I didn’t see anyone else mention this but I totally recommend a baby carrier (Like Oh Snap or Moby) The Moby wraps are amazing for kangaroo care and keeping your baby close. I didn’t know about babywearing when I was pregnant and I really wish I did. Our daughter has sensory issues that mean she needs to be held tightly to help her calm down. I borrowed a carrier from a friend and she loved it! She is 2 now and when she is having a problem self soothing she asks me to put the “backpack” on. They are rather expensive but worth the investment since they can be used up to 40 pounds with some carriers and they can be used for multiple children.
I also recommend taking an infant CPR class. You never want to have to use your knowledge but you don’t want to be in a situation it is needed and not have that knowledge.
I also recommend that if you are going to have a baby shower make it a consumable shower. That’s what we did and we got so much diaper cream, baby wash, diapers, wipes and everything else you might use up. I even registered for bigger size diapers (like 3’s and 4’s) my daughter was 18 months before I had to buy any bath supplies and I still have all the diaper cream ointments I got.
Also people are going to send you congrats cards or greeting cards with any gifts they give you. Instead of spending 3 – 5 dollars on a gift card, ask people to contribute to your child’s library. Ask them to buy their favorite children’s story and sign the inside cover. That way you can give your child the gift of literacy.
Oh and if you are blessed with people who want to provide meals after you deliver, don’t forget about quick snacks and breakfast items. Its not just dinner that you will want help fixing.
Oh and if for any reason you have to spend some extra time at the hospital, make sure you take that extra time to rest. Our daughter was in the NICU for 17 days after she was born, and I didn’t use that time to rest. I was at her bedside all day every day. Finally I had a nurse who told me I needed to rest and recover while they were taking care of her so that I would be ready for taking her home.
Thank you for mentioning infant CPR. My husband and I took a class and I had to use what I learned when my baby choked one day. Here is the story if anyone is interested.
http://www.thesavvybump.com/taking-an-infant-cpr-class-saved-my-babys-life/
You’ll never regret taking a class but you might regret not taking one.
You can almost always find someone with a child older than yours who is willing to give or loan you clothing. If not you can find them used very easily so please don’t buy baby clothes new (unless it’s one special coming home outfit). Babies really don’t need much and before you buy or ask for a swing wait till your baby is born to see if they even like it at a friend’s house. My child hated the swing and it was a waste of my grandma’s money and I sold it on Craiglist after she was in it for less than an hour her first year (she just wanted to be held and would scream in it).
First, take one stage at a time. If you don’t, you will get overwhelmed.
Second, when you are ready to buy for baby, go to YARD SALES! They are a great place to find baby stuff for cheap. You can often find baby clothes and gear in like new condition for a fraction of the price new.
I just had my third son a few weeks ago. I have 2 other sons and still own all the clothes, toys, and gadgets. I waited until I was 6 months pregnant before I started stocking up on diapers. I use disposables and did a bunch of CVS sales when they were buy $30 Huggies and get $10 extra care bucks and then rolled the ecbs for the next sale. Combined with coupons and any point earned gift cards, I picked them up for $4 or less per pack. By the time I had my son, I had stockpiled stages n-2 and already had some stage 3s. My other 2 sons are still in training pants at night so I knew I wanted to take advantage of sales early so I wouldn’t have to pay full price. You could probably wait until later. I also had to get a larger vehicle to fit 3 car seats so that took saving and planning which likely won’t be an issue for you. For me the essentials are the crib, car seat, diapers, wipes, bottles, and breast pump. People usually love giving the onsies and cute things as gifts. I don’t want to sound negative, but anything can happen – especially in the early stages, so I would wait before spending a lot and just enjoy this special time.
Congratulations! May you have a smooth and uneventful pregnancy.
As for what to eat and how much, don’t obsess. It seems there’s a good business to be made in dispensing scary “advice” to the pregnant. What’s good for a non-pregnant person is good for a pregnant person; you need extra calcium and maybe folic acid depending on where you are in your pregnancy. A friend of mine asked me to help research the typical pregnancy advice so I can tell you that all the rest of the advice – absolutely no wine, no sushi, no soft cheese/cold cuts, don’t exercise too much, and so on – is not well supported by the statistics or is outdated.
For example, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists used to suggest that pregnant women not let their heartrate rise above 140 when exercising. ACOG dropped this recommendation in 1994, yet ob/gyns still recommend it. More examples available upon request – I still have many of the data.
Based on comments by parents of my acquaintance: add some sort of baby-holder to the list: sling, mobi, baby bjorn, etc. As with the diapers, keep receipts because different babies prefer different carriers.
The whole “don’t get your heart rate above 140” thing drives me batty. The number was based on NOTHING and was rescinded over a decade ago, and I can’t tell you how many doctors still spout that off as though it’s gospel. I’m currently 8 weeks, in a new area and interviewing doctors and I actually got into an argument with one doctor about this very point. I’m in excellent shape and have been running 30-40 miles a week for years, including three marathons in the past year and she had the nerve to tell me I was putting my baby at risk by continuing to run if my heart rate was going up past the “recommended” point.
You’ll also need a car seat and some sort of way to carry the baby when you’re out. I liked a Moby wrap. You can make your own with some jersey knit fabric and a pair of scissors. No sewing required.
My son weighed 9# at birth and he *did* wear newborn size clothes for a month. My girls were around 7#, and they were in newborn size for six weeks. Also remember that right after you give birth, you may not be up to or even able to run a load of laundry daily. My son was a spitter-upper and we would sometimes go through six outfits in a single day.
I bought onesies and sleepers and that was it. Wrangling a baby to get those multi-piece outfits that are so cute on them- not worth it! You can get baby clothes used for very cheap, or see if you get some as gifts.
I bled for a month after each child was born. Have plenty of pads on hand!
Some pharmacies have free prenatal vitamins with a prescription from your Dr. Meijer is one place. Our Schnucks also has them, but they’re a more regional store. This can save some money over the course of pregnancy and through nursing.
Ooh, I hadn’t heard that! Do you call the pharmacy to find out? We don’t have Meijer here 🙁
I second this recommendation! We have Giant Eagle stores in my area, and they advertise it. I would call a grocery store(s) pharmacy and ask. But, make sure that you do get a prescription that is free. I assumed all would be free, so I asked for one that I had with a previous pregnancy and it did cost $15. But then, through mail it was free with our insurance.
The best “Mommy” item for me that was a total lifesaver was A shower head with a hose that allows you to move the head (this makes post delivery washing a ton easier), If nursing, A Boppy / nursing pillow (gives a little arm freedom with nursing and I found especially with new baby helped me figure out nursing positioning). And my BIGGY was don’t over think baby. You aren’t going to spoil an infant. Don’t over think schedules especially in those first couple months. Those can be established once you get to know each other a little bit. Congrats! Enjoy the adventure. And be encouraged that all of us got that panicked feeling. I am potty training a two year old and still surviving without going crazy…. So far…. 🙂 Enjoy this crazy fun time!
If you are going to register at a gift registry and have a lot of generous friends, I recommend you add a carpet steam cleaner to the list! Think beyond the baby’s first year of life: they WILL outgrow the diaper genie (a fancy garbage can for diapers) and the baby swing, but they will not outgrow the need to be cleaned up after. And by the time they are a year old and just getting started on perfecting their disaster-making skills, your budget might not have room to splurge on such a nice item. (Just my wish-I-had-thought-of-that advice.)
It would be kind of funny to see a steam cleaner at a baby shower but they are very useful!!
I have often thought that if I was rich I would buy a carpet cleaner for every mother as a baby shower gift!
My “babies” just turned three/almost five (wrapping up toilet training the younger one) and I have wished for a steam cleaner more times than I can count over the years… What a great group gift idea!
My advice would be to enjoy the pregnancy and make sure you take plenty of belly pictures because you would be surprised how much your future child will love them. My children are always asking to look at the pictures that show how big I got with each of them. Also resist the urge to overbuy even if it is an incredible deal. Babies really don’t need much and for your first a lot of the needs will be taken care of by your showers so wait until after they are held to buy anything. Last tip would be to put diapers and wipes on your baby shower list, some guests love giving practical items and I remember getting enough boxes of both at my shower to last me through the first couple of weeks.
Not to be a party pooper, but depending on hoe far you are dont worry about it right now. I say this as I am recovering from the second d&c from our second missed m/c after hearing the hb.
That said if you have relatives with kids you shouldn’t need yo buy clothes gof the kid. My sister has three boys and boxes and boxes of clothes.
Gwen, my sympathies and condolences to you. May memory be a blessing.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve also had three miscarriages and they are so heartbreaking (two of mine were later, missed MC as well).
I was looking for this comment – someone needed to say this. There is nothing more heart breaking g than starting to buy baby stuff and then to lose the preg just weeks later. Again not to be depressing but it happens. We have lost three pregnancies and have one healthy daughter and a son with a heart defect. So by all means rejoice in your wonderful new but do t do to much to fast.
Congratulations! On the breastfeeding front, I would recommend attending a series of meetings held by La Leche League. These are free, and you will be surrounded by a group of women who can help you with breastfeeding as well as any other aspect of being a new mom. You can find a local group here: http://www.lalecheleague.org/webindex.html
Pregnant women are welcome at these meetings. Getting good solid information and putting a support network in place is so important to your success. (And breastfeeding saves you a ton of money – not only because formula is expensive, but also because breastfed babies get sick less often.)
Congratulations! Don’t stress yourself out with breast feeding…too many people have strong feelings one way or another. You might want to but are not able to, or you may try it & decide its not for you. There are lots of positives with babies getting their mother’s milk, but your baby won’t be any less wonderful if he’s formula fed.
As far as onesies, don’t just buy any brand in a certain size – look at them first. Gerber is notorious for making clothes much smaller than everyone else, and Carter’s tends to go large on shirt/pants or shorts outfits. BabyGap, Old Navy & Cherokee (Target) are accurate but run a little big. Your baby could be really tiny & skinny, or a super chunk. Gowns are great as sleepers in the beginning – easy diaper changing for you & comfortable for them. Diapers (and formula) are the same thing – some diapers fit some bodies better than others, and some babies tolerate certain formula better than other brands. I was a Pampers mom & a Similac Sensitive for my first, but I use regular Similac for my 2nd & I’m about to switch to another diaper brand for my 2nd because they aren’t fitting right. My first is skinny, while his little sister has the lower half of the Michelin Man. Your pediatrician (and the hospital) should send you home with formula samples, but don’t forget to sign up for all the free stuff you can & start keeping your eye out for deals & coupons – there’s a lot out there. One more thing…Amazon Mom is great for diaper/wipe discounts if you have your supply auto-delivered. Good luck with everything!
http://www.kellymom.com is an awesome website for breastfeeding! It helped me so much!
I completely second the recommendation to visit a La Leche League meeting as soon and as often as possible throughout your pregnancy! You will get so much encouragement to trust your instincts and avoid the commercialized new-parent traps that can drain your joy and your bank account.
This is a great tool to see how much money breastfeeding will save you (i.e., a small fortune): http://kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-prep/bfcostbenefits/ Breastfeeding will keep your baby healthier, which means fewer doctor visits, medicine, sleepless nights, etc.
Natural birth will save you quite a bit, too, depending on how much your insurance will cover. Epidurals are sometimes $4,000+! Google “the Bradley method” for more info.
I want to breast feed to save money, butI had a bunch of problems with breast feeding (well really my baby did…latch, positioning, etc was perfect she just couldn’t suck correctly). Even with significant professional intervention and significant financial investment, we couldn’t get it corrected. Once our final option was physical therapy for our baby 3xs a week at the children’s hospital 30 miles away, we switched to formula at 1 month! While breast feeding cost us considerably more than it saved us, I am still glad we tried and my daughter has only had 1 cold. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work for you. There is too much pressure and guilt associated with breast feeding vs formula feeding these days. I wish someone had said this to me, so I wanted to share it with you. Congratulations and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy.
Don’t forget Ladies, You can always pump if you still want to feed your little one your milk but are having latching, positioning, ect issues. I know that I watched every video went to meetings, and had so much help at the hospital but my son born 5 days early weighing 6lbs 2oz was just to small to create that latch he needed. It didn’t help that my ladies seemed almost the same size as him but in the end I pumped between 8-12 times a day and he was able to eat off of that for about 3 months and then I dried up 🙁 But atleast I could get him started off on me before switching him to formula.
Also, the “store brands” such as Kirkland at Costco are the same formula as Enfamil or Similac, but are priced way lower. If you are not a name brand junkie my advice would be to use a store brand. Always look at the ingredients and nutritional values and compare. You will be amazed at how much the formulas are the same.
Good Luck Ladies!
I’m so grateful that I stockpiled EVERYTHING for my daughter who was born last November. The weekend before she was born (she was 2 weeks early) I made a bunch of pans of lasagna, soups, bread, meatballs, etc. for my freezer and I’m really glad I did. It saved money in the end b/c when you have tons of visitors (none of my family ended up bringing me food 🙁 ) and a newborn you have no time to cook and sending somebody out for food or takeout REALLY adds up quickly. I didn’t have to leave the house for almost my whole maternity leave, which was good because it was also the crazy holiday season.
I only had one or two packages of newborn diapers, and we ended up running out and needing more.
One thing I’m glad somebody told me was to stock up on SUPER heavy duty maxi pads for after the birth, because stuff is still going on down there if you know what I mean. TMI, but it’s on a need to know basis 😉
My other bit of advice is to GO RUMMAGE SAILING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
I found my car seat (yes, I know this is really frowned upon, but mine was in pristine condition and came with spare bases- one for each of our cars and one for her grandparents car), a baby bouncer seat, tons of pairs of shoes with tags still attached, a toy box, and a bunch of clothes.
A few things I got at thrift stores too…
A brand new convertible high chair still in the box, baby swing, a cozy coupe (like new, and she’ll grow into it)
Really if you don’t mind used items, you can get A LOT of things at really low prices. If you are having a baby shower and you get items you already have, hopefully they attached a gift receipt and you can use it on formula, food, baby gates (something we forgot all about), and all of the other last minute stuff.
Good luck!!!!
I would never buy a used car seat. Ever. The reason it’s frowned upon is that if it’s *ever* been in any type of accident (even a fender-bender when the baby wasn’t in the car) the seat is considered compromised. If you’re trying to save money–especially considering that most people only use a carrier for a few months–ask around for friends who may have one sitting in storage for you to use–and even then ask about accident history and check the expiration date on the label.
Actually, a fender bender isn’t the only reason not to buy a used car seat. All car seats have expiration dates and should NEVER be used past these dates. The dates vary by manufacturer, so always double check. The manufactured date is usually listed on the side of the seat.
The reason they expire is that over time the foam and plastics which form the seats will begin to break down and deteriorate. ESPECIALLY, in seats that have withstood extreme temperatures, like hot climates, parked outside OR stored in hot storage units.
The truth is that you can never be sure what a seat has been through unless you’ve had it from the beginning. Even though its an expensive purchase, please purchase it new. Save up for it, ask for it as a gift, whatever… ALL babies are worth the cost it takes to protect them in a vehicle.
And be sure to read up on the correct way to strap in, not only the seat to the car, but the baby into the seat. It’s not always intuitive.
Congratulations!
I would also add, call your hospital to see if they offer a car seat safety course. This was free at our hospital and they helped install the base to the car seat and went over the specifics about how to put the baby in the car seat. These technicians go through HOURS of training and know their stuff! Some of the people who attended the class also qualified for a free car seat!
If your hospital doesn’t offer a class most fire departments will help install or check your installation of the car seat.
I agree with a previous post about not risking a used car seat your child’s safety is too important.
I know this. That’s why I said I know that it’s frowned upon. I also did my research I was just giving examples of what I personally have found. I thought people would be smart enough for me not to elaborate on this. My car seat is still within date, and hasn’t been in any accidents and my daughter is finally reaching the weight limit.
Very true about the pads!!
I recommend making a copy of the receipt and taping that to the package too. My friend had several receipts fade so bad, the store wouldn’t let her return them.
Oh that’s a good one! Receipts do fade pretty fast.
Congratulations Uma! That’s wonderful news 🙂 I would say, don’t get too many “newborn” onesies. Babies grow so fast, my daughter didn’t even wear half the newborn onesies I received at my baby shower! Enjoy this beautiful time! 9 months goes by fast 🙂
My firstborn weighed in at 9 bl, 1 oz. The newborn outfit I took to the hospital for the going home outfit was too small. He NEVER worn NB sizes- haha!
So true! You can usually skip newborn diapers too, which are more expensive.
You cannot always skip newborn diapers and clothing! My daughter was 6lbs. 5oz. born on her due date and we ended up having to pay full price for newborn diapers and clothing because we didn’t have enough. Size 1 diapers were way too big for her for months.
Same here, Bobbi! My observation is that everyone I knew held to the “you can skip NB!” advice and as a result we had very little NB items even after our shower. My daughter was 6lbs 6oz when she left the hospital (overdue, not a preemie) and she was too small for even preemie clothes! She was swimming in NB and 0-3 clothing and NB diapers were very generous on her.
Even though my son was 9 lbs 3 oz. we still needed newborn clothes and barely had enough! Everyone told us we wouldn’t need any newborn sizes and that just wasn’t true, even with a big baby. While we didn’t need a ton, we did need more than we had. I would recommend not taking tags off of things until you’re certain you’ll use them, with the exception of what you’ll be using at the hospital and wearing home so that it’s clean and ready. That way you can re-gift, take back, or consign anything you don’t use. I think having a couple packages of newborn diapers is a great idea and our hospital sent us home with tons of Pampers newborn diapers! One of the best pieces of advice our doula gave us was to take anything and everything the hospital gives you. They can’t reuse it and have to throw it all away if it’s a disposable product – even if your baby never used it!
My first two babies were right at 7lb and could wear premie for a few weeks. They were in NB and 0-3 for everybit 3 months+. My third was 8lb and didn’t need premie, but still got plenty of use out of the NB and smaller sizes. My kids have all needed the size that corresponded to their age for quite awhile, so don’t assume you won’t need NB!