Last week, I invested a lot of my time and energy into getting our house more in order and getting our family into a new routine. It was a lot of work and honestly, there were multiple days that I didn’t want to put the effort into it.
But I kept at it and by the end of the week, our house looked so much better, our lives seemed a lot less chaotic, and I felt like I could breathe again. It felt so good.
However, it wasn’t the clean house, calmer days, or less cluttered drawers I was most happy with. It was the space this freed up in our lives… space to exhale, space to love each other better, space to look into a child’s eyes and listen, space to stop and invest time.
It’s easy to get caught up in the busy, busy, rush-rush, go-go pace of life. To constantly feel like you have to hurry through the moment to get to the next thing.
I get it that there are seasons when that’s just what you have to do. It’s finals week at school. Or you just had a baby. Or your grandmother is in the hospital. Or your friend was diagnosed with cancer.
Sometimes, we can’t slow the pace of life and we just have to go with it and power through.
But most of the time, I believe that we can choose to slow down.
We can choose to do less. To say no to the crazy, frantic pace. To put forth the effort to get better routines in place and less clutter in our homes and on our calendars so that instead of a hurried pace, we have a calm S-P-A-C-E.
Space to love that child who needs extra nurturing on a Monday morning.
Space to listen to our friend who is feeling discouraged and overwhelmed today.
Space to text or call our neighbor who is going through a rough patch.
Space to smile at the elderly person in front of us in the checkout lane.
Space to pray for someone who is struggling.
Space to share a kind word of encouragement.
Space to refresh our souls so we can better serve those around us.
S-P-A-C-E. It’s a beautiful thing!
Near the end of last week, as we were working on our morning chores, one of the kids found a copy of Silas’s very favorite books of all time: Goodnight Moon. We hadn’t read the book in months and we’d all sort of forgotten about it.
There were squeals of joy when it was re-discovered. And because I had space in my day, I was able to stop, snuggle with all three kids, and read the book aloud to them.
It was a simple thing — and it didn’t take a lot of time. But it was a beautiful moment in time. One that I will treasure in my heart for a long time.
I don’t want to miss out on these every day moments.
Related: Read this excellent post on why we need to stop being managers of our homes and instead start being nurturers of those in our home.
Thank you so much for this article it confirmed what I already knew! Last Thursday I resigned from my full time job, I absolutely loved my job but I didn’t love that I was missing out on being the Mum and wife that God designed me to be.. Something had to change.. I am totally at peace with my decision and am looking forward to having more control over my life.. Thank you again x
I am a Senior in nursing school with a part time job, so I can relate to this post so well. Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to slow down! Is that colorful book about Peter a journal or devotional? 🙂
Beautifully written. Our kiddos are 18 months and 3, and the third is on the way. It can get noisy and hectic with them dumping toys everywhere, throwing tantrums, etc… haha #toddlerlife. But, I thought a lot about creating space and rest during advent this year, and we did several things on purpose to make sure it was a season of rest, not chaos. And we enjoyed it more than any other christmas season in the past. Saying ‘no’ to lots, and saying ‘yes,’ to only that which mattered the most.
This slower pace actually has kind of accidentally happened to our whole life since having the second little one. At first, I felt ‘stuck’ at home more – irritated that it was so hard to get out and get stuff done, annoyed that we all moved so slowly. Somewhere along the way, the Lord changed my heart and I’ve grown to love it. To love that we don’t have much extra going on right now. No extra activities, no extra commitments. The are in bed early still, so we don’t run around on the weeknights. We hardly ever have to be somewhere before 10 am. Now, the slowness feel luxurious and I find myself wanting to work to maintain it.
Thanks for sharing about how you guys are creating that space in your home with older kids!! It has me looking forward to the next season 🙂
What are the names and authors of the books mentioned in this article?
This is great to budget and save on needs and wants at birthdays and the holidays for the children. I don’t care about myself, as long as they maintain some normalcy ( even though though there is no normal life, just life) and we get through obstacles as a team and they understand we aii have budgets we have to stick to I.E. using coupons. Sincerely, Beth Konior
I love these thought provoking posts. And I totally agree – organized drawers and closets = more than a clean house because it means freedom!
I keep hearing Simon and Garfunkle, “Slow down, you move too fast.” I seem to get myself all out of sorts when I do not.
Good points, Crystal!
Oh I needed this today! I did say NO to a third activity today that I just couldn’t do. Instead I spent the time snuggling with my 3 year old. 2015 is going to be all about taking care of me and my family.
Great point here! More space in your home = more space to spend with your loved ones.
Love this. I want those books. 😉
Crystal,
I joined you on the challenge and declutted my house with you. You have no idea how much it inspired my whole family. I had been neglecting deep cleaning for a while. I also didn’t have time (i thought I didn’t) to pause and look back and analyze the path we’re traveling. By finishing this challenge successfully really made me to do so.
Even though it’s a declutter challenge, it taught me few things:
Less things actually make you happy and let you to appreciate what you have.
Cleaner house will give you peace of mind and you’ll be able to focus on other things than constantly worrying how lazy you are and how bad a mom you’re that you’re not spending enough time with your family (i’m a full time working mom)
Now it’s easy to set a routine and make your family follow you to keep the house clean
Thanks a lot from the bottom of my heart! 🙂
You are so welcome! And thank you so much for joining us!
I read that blog post from Hands Free Mama the other day! Excellent post and great reminder! In fact, I checked her book out from the library today for a second read. 🙂
I really like these kind of posts from you. It was thought provoking, applied to me as a stay at home mom, encouraging, and not blaming. Do you have any good white space type books to suggest? I don’t like to have every day scheduled but I do like some structure and can always fine tune my life in that regard. Thank you!
I couldn’t agree more about the importance of creating spaces in our lives so that we have time to make meaningful connection to what matters most. Thank you for this wonderful reminder and also for linking to my blog post about being a nurturer instead of a manager in our home. Your support is a blessing to me!
Funny I should be reading this today, as of the weekend I’ve accomplished more than in a long time. Praise God!!!! I feel free
to move on to the next challenge….!!!! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thanks for all your hard work. God bless you and your family this holiday season. Merry Christmas!!!
Besides SPACE it’s also called Margin, I read parts (it was assigned reading for a class) of the book. I think it might have been by Richard Swenson. It was really helpful when considering giving extra time for unexpected moments – traffic jam, wrong GPS directions, company coming early. 🙂
I am inspired – I know that tackling that bin of paperwork waiting to be filed will give me such a sense of accomplishment – I’m off to tackle it now!
http://learnathomejourney.com/
Oh, Goodnight Moon is the best book ever. I read it every night to my son for eons. Sometimes I just say the words to him when he’s cranky and needs to go to sleep and doesn’t want to (he’s 11).
But you’re so right about the magic of decluttering. I got ruthless right after Thanksgiving and there’s a ways to go yet, hello bookshelves, but it’s soooo much better. The energy in the house is amazing when stuff gets cleared out.
Goodnight Moon i recall purchasing this book after Zack was born. Read it several times over the first two years. Sadly, he out grew and it wanted other books.
Love this post, so timely. I am right in the middle of cleaning, de-cluttering and creating better routines for a more peace-full home. Definitely not easy. Thanks for the encouragement
I stumbled across your blog about five years ago. I was a very new, young, overwhelmed mother and your site was like a stream of light in my life and has continued to be so over all these years. I am in a particularly stressful new season of life with many new challenges and your blog seems to always encourage me when I need it most. I love that your site is not just about buying cheap stuff, it is about ways to better your life, family, and yourself. I loved the challenge last week. Even if I didn’t get to finish each task everyday it was so uplifting seeing I wasn’t the only one and that some progress is better than none. Anyways, I’ll quit rambling 🙂 thank you for everything! God bless you.
Aw, thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!
I completely agree with this post. Working hard to get through the less fun things like cleaning frees up time for enjoying each other with clear consciences! Structure and routine have been the key factor to our home’s relaxed environment 🙂 Thanks for sharing and glad you’re back on track!
Your words moved me because they are so true. When I was little, my parents both worked outside the home for long hours and mom would be so behind domestic chores that all sunday was dedicated to them. I learned how to play and read by myself and I grew up fine in the end 🙂 but as a child I felt “the house” (doing dishes, laundry, ironing, cooking for the week etc) was more important than me. Mom would be too busy to play or read with me. As a result I dislike chores and want to use my time differently! Problem is my messy home is driving me crazy and starting to take a toll on my energy and joy. All this to say that your perspective makes so much sense. This is where I’m striving to be! Thanks
Thank you so much for sharing this perspective. I was really convicted by your words.
The pictures of your de-cluttering house have been in mind and was an inspiration to me yesterday.
“However, it wasn’t the clean house, calmer days, or less cluttered drawers I was most happy with. It was the space this freed up in our lives… space to exhale, space to love each other better, space to look into a child’s eyes and listen, space to stop and invest time.”
Are a cleaner house & less cluttered house connected to freeing up space in our lives as you described?
Yes, it’s amazing the difference it makes!
I agree with Crystal. Weirdly, a clean and less-cluttered home does free up space in my life, too. I am not a neat freak (and I kind of roll my eyes at Crystal’s “messy” spaces — sorry Crystal — love ya’ but your messy spaces are my clean ones ;0). I have been making a lot of effort to go through every room and every nook and cranny of my house and de-clutter, sell, and remove items from my life that do not serve me every day. This is a BIG project since we’ve lived here 14 years. I am 2 months into this process. It is AMAZING how calm and clear my life feels as my house gets into shape. We hosted a big holiday party this weekend and I cruised into it stress-free for the first time ever. The holidays are not even phasing me (decluttered a TON of holiday decorations, too). I have a long way to go but each day I try to tackle some area (however small) of my home.
Very strong yes! Not just the time you save not having to look for things that are “misplaced/ lost” but being able to do what you need to do because you can go directly to it and not have to try to remember to get it done later when you can find a “piece of the puzzle” really helps. My memory is getting worse and the medical diagnosis is I am too stressed. Clutter will do that to you. No space to organize my mind when the house is cluttered.
Nichole, it really does! Subconsciously especially! I have recently in the last month went thru my house and purged items that were no longer worth my energy, or my kids’ energy…I took 8 or 10 contractor size bags of everything from clothes to toys to baby items to my childrens’ school (they do a PTO yard sale every Fall, this offers additional funding for our school Nurse for supplies, etc…Added plus is that we receive a tax write-off. It’s a WIN all the way around!) The following day after dropping off all the items, I paid a lady to come in and do a full on deep clean of our house (trust me it was worth it!) I work full time, two children, two different sports in the same season, and constantly going…it was so relieving to be able to come home to a nice clean smell good house, help with homework while eating supper, and then run out for the soccer game at 7pm…there was no junk piled up or stuff sitting around taking up space screaming and naggin at me to be taken out of the house, there was actually space in my brain to breath. Those items do not pay rent or make healthy deposits to your brain so quit letting them take up space. HAPPY PURGING LADIES!