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How to Handle Negative, Critical Comments

What’s the best thing to do when you get a negative comment or find out you have disappointed someone? In this episode, Jesse and I talk about how to handle negative comments and what true confidence looks like. 

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Crystal Paine with cup of tea

We Get to Choose Our Response

I’m coming at ya with no makeup and wet hair to say this important word to you: We can’t choose what other people say about us or say to us, but we do get to choose our response.

Every day, pretty much, I hear from people who don’t like something I’ve done or not done.

It could be as simple as the fact that I use plastic bags (a number of people have been really bothered by this recently) or something much bigger like that they think I’m failing as a leader (this was something that happened this past year in a leadership position I was in).

How should you respond when other people are bothered, hurt, upset, offended, or critical of you (or are expressing valid concerns)? Well, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this regard and have learned (and am learning!) a lot of things the hard way.

Our Response is Always Our Responsibility.

True confidence is not figuring out how to get everyone to like you; it’s confidently being true to who you were created to be — even when you know not everyone is going to like you.

This has been one of the greatest (and hardest!) lessons for me to learn in life… that it’s okay if I’m a disappointment to some people or people just don’t like me.

I won’t lie. I still struggle with this many days. But the more that I know who I am in Christ, the less I worry about what other people think. And the more I rest in how much I am loved by God, the less I worry about gaining the approval of others.

I think it will be a lifelong journey for me and I doubt I’ll ever be 100% over ever insecurity this side of heaven. But I’m celebrating the progress and growing confidence to be true to who I have been created to be, regardless of what others think.

This week on the podcast, Jesse and I have a real honest conversation about what to do when you get a negative comment or disappoint someone or someone is just not happy with you for one reason or another. We talk in-depth about how to respond and the difference between being confident and cocky.

Remember: we have no control over what others say to us, but our response is always our responsibility. ❤️

In This Episode: 

[04:38] – Listen for the return of “What’s saving our lives!”

[10:39] – Jesse and I talk about the books we have been reading recently and I share a quote from one that really impacted me.

[14:02] – Check out how to earn Amazon gift cards and hear about our new hot deals email list.

[15:49] – We dig into today’s topic on confidence and disappointing people. What is confidence? How do you build it? How is it different than being cocky?

[28:06] – It’s so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the negativity of the 1% instead of remembering that there is no way we can please everyone.

[30:03] – What does it look like to truly live as loved?

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

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  • Diane says:

    Your conversation and notes here reminded me of some things that our pastor has mentioned people will complain about. It’s incredible to me the things people find fault with or think they need to complain about. But good for you for handling it well.

  • Joely says:

    Your genuine honesty and vulnerability are refreshing. Please continue to be you and inspire us to do the same. Thank you! You provide a great reminder to all of us who need to take a deep breath and embrace our reality and not someone else’s perception of it.

  • Akaya says:

    Thank you, this came at the perfect time for me.

  • Renee/Daria says:

    Hi Crystal! This is my first comment…THANK YOU for posting your definition of what True Confidence is!!! “It’s confidently being true to who you are created to be.” And I love, “The more I know who I am in Christ, the less worry about what other people think…”, and so forth. I wrote these things down on sticky notes and have them on my computer and am thinking on them and making that my prayer for myself today and from now on. Best definition EVER!
    Also, I’m learning to “stay in my own lane”. My OPINION of anyone or anything else is none of anyone else’s business and visa versa. Sometimes we need to stand up for truth but may we do it in the spirit of love.
    Keep on keeping’ on! You are an angel!

  • Vanessa says:

    Thank you! This really came at the right time.

  • Katrina says:

    Thank you! I’m an agnostic single mama, and have been following you for at least a couple of years. The way you live true to your own values, while still loving others amd not being judgemental keeps me coming back. I’m proud of you and inspired by you and the progress you’ve made as a person and in your career.

  • Kathleen Dunton says:

    Crystal, I want you to know that I think you are a Rock Star. You have helped and mentored so many woman across this country and probably beyond. My goodness, if people are picking on you for a stupid plastic bag, then they certainly have a bigger issue their life that they are not addressing. Thanks for all you do!!

  • Brenda D. says:

    Your are the best. Love coming to Money Saving Mom. You have saved me lots of money and keep it pushing. Haters will be haters!

  • Crissy S. says:

    I can’t wait to listen. So many of your podcasts speak to me, but especially the one about being a highly sensitive person. I wish you understood how much of a difference you are making in the lives of other people.

  • Lizzy says:

    I have been a LONG time reader, since you first started, and I RARELY post comments anywhere, but I felt the Spirit’s nudge to just encourage you. You are a light for Him. I hate that you have to endure harsh comments and yet it makes sense because I know He is using you mightily, and with that comes the enemy’s attacks. I know many including myself, are so blessed by your commitment to truth, your godly heart, and your wise advice! You challenge and inspire me! Blessings & prayers~

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