Sharon from Mom on Dealz sent in the following testimonial that I thought would be a real encouragement to some of you:
When we found out I was pregnant with our first son Will, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. At that time, our incomes were not enough to make that happen–or so I thought.
My husband and I sat down and really evaluated our budget. After careful consideration and a lot of prayer, we began eliminating monthly expenses and really stripped everything to the bare minimum. We cut out gym memberships, magazine subscriptions, going out to eat, and many extracurricular activities such as my husband’s golfing and my pedicures.
It was a bit painful, but our goal was to make it so I could stay home for one year with our baby. After all of the cuts, we found we had a very difficult choice to make–we were four months shy of having enough money to stay home for a year. We had to choose whether I would return to work when Will was 12 weeks old and finish the school year, or not return and only have February through September with him.
We decided I would finish out the year since that would give us a bit more money and would then give me more time home with Will. After making this tough decision, I returned to work and finished the school year.
In June, I celebrated even more because I knew I could be home with my son. It did not take very long before I realized I wanted to be home much longer than the originally planned year. But how? My husband’s income was minimal and the savings we had put aside would only last a year.
That’s how my couponing journey began! Couponing has been our number one way of saving money. By matching up store deals with coupons, we have cut our grocery bill drastically.
My husband and I have also left no stone unturned for bringing in extra income. I have taught and tutored part-time as well as started a blog about frugal living that brings in a very small amount.
My husband has also done some side jobs and recently has turned a pergola home project into a money-maker! Small side jobs do add up and have contributed to me now being home three years. We still “do without” a lot of extras but our needs are met and we know we are doing what is best for our family.
We have followed Dave Ramsey’s financial plan and although we haven’t paid off any major debt, we have managed to not create any new bills. In this economy I would say that’s a success story! I do plan on returning to teaching when the boys enter traditional school but until then we are treasuring this precious time together. -Sharon
Miranda Grimm says
I have been a stay at home and work at home mom since I had my children as well. Although it is a struggle at times and we had moments where we were living off a credit card, it has all been worth it. I too have turned to things like blogging to bring in extra income. The sacrifice to be the one who raises your children will absolutely pay off!!
Erin says
I cannot tell you how similar this story is to mine – I could have written it myself! My husband and I are on baby step 2 of the Dave Ramsey plan and I am going to be tutoring this Fall to bring in some extra cash. Thanks for such a great post, makes me remember I’m not alone in all this 😉
Ann says
I am a happy working mom. It seems that like readers of this blog only view working moms as having to work 40-60 hours a week. Today, there are many options available. I have many friends who work 20-35 hours a week at home and are able to stay at home with their children. When I have my next child, I plan to work three days in the office and work 3 hour days at home the other two days. This will allow me the opportunity to be home more, continue to build my career, and save enough money to pay for my children’s education. Most people will say that this would never be an option for them, and in a lot of cases, it will not. However, obtaining at least 5-7 years of work experience and being a very high contributor will be more likely to lead to flexible arrangements when you have children.
diane says
Loving all the comments as i am due in three months!
Sharon@momondealz says
Hi everyone! Thanks for the great comments! I do have a website-it’s http://www.momondealz.com. 🙂 I have a lot of friends who are stay at home moms or who only work part time so luckily we have a lot of playdates to attend. We also go to our public library for story times and have met some really great families there-and the story times are educational and free! I am so grateful for every second home with the boys. 🙂
Crystal says
Thank you so much for posting your link! I couldn’t find your blog link anywhere when I went to post this–nor could I find your email address to email you for it! Sorry for my lack of organization and thank you so much for sharing this post!
sharon says
I am an “old” stay-at-home mom! I keep 3 babies so that I can pay for our son to get a college degree. It takes every penny that I make. I am so very blessed to be the “stay-at-mom” for these young moms while they work. I am so appreciative that these women trust me enough to leave their precious babies with me. I had each of their older brother and sisters before them. To “you young moms,” make it a priority to prepare a meal for your men. They won’t care what you feed them. They will be so appreciative of you when you show extra concern for them. I love the crock-pot for those hard days, bacon & eggs is always OK with them. Put forth a little “extra” effort to care for your men. Make them want to come home……….Nuff preachin! I just wish that somebody has shared these things with me when I was young-been married 34yrs now.
Jen says
Just wondering if anyone can tell me….have your thoughts on being at SAHM changed once you had kids? My hubby & I want kids in about 2 years but I really feel like I want to keep working. I’m a CPA & my hubby is a teacher so I’m definetely the breadwinner. I love my job & I think “Mommy will need an outside of the home job to keep me sane”. My mom is also a CPA & she worked while I grew up.
Is it different once the kids are actually here?
Jessica says
I never thought I would want to be a SAHM. I completed my masters in public health in 2003 and for a few years, loved my work. We lived frugally by choice so we could pay off student loans and save for our downpayment. We bought our modest home. I had my daughter in 2006. In 2008 my job duties significantly changed and the idea of SAHM began to creep into my thoughts. We continued to live frugally while we both worked f/t and our daughter was in a good daycare center for 50 hours a week. When I got pregnant with my son, I was totally miserable in my job. After his birth I suffered from PPD. I did return to work but it was awful. For me and my family. I used furlough and vacation days to work a reduced schedule then I got official part time in spring of this year. But that was not the right solution and I resigned earlier this month.
Heather says
I finished my job (teaching) for the year a few months before my first child was born, and did not go back, so I can’t say for sure personally.
But I have heard from many people whose thoughts on staying home changed quite a bit once they actually had the kids. So, yes, while planning ahead, I think it’s good to consider that you may have a change of heart. I have heard of husbands who felt a bit betrayed when the wife suddenly decides to stay home with the baby and he had been counting on her income . . . . Definitely discuss these things ahead of time.
Dianna says
I thought I would never want to stay at home…… ever. Now I am at home planning to work one shift a week after a few months and loving every minute of it.
Kristine says
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been a full-time stay-at-home mom ever since my son was born 11 years ago, and we also have nine-year-old twins. It’s been difficult financially, especially since my hubby had to change careers a few years ago and start over in an entry-level position, but, on the other hand, daycare for three children would have been more than we could afford even if I had a job outside the home.
My kids are all in school now, and I’ve thought about getting a part-time job, but I feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing more work than I’m already doing around the house. Even work-at-home jobs are too stressful for me to handle at this stage of my life (and I’ve tried a few).
I just hate it when people ask if I work, though. Of course I work. 🙂 Sometimes I feel that people are a little condescending toward stay-at-home moms, as if our measure of success is what we do outside the home and how much we contribute to the family income. I wouldn’t be a very pleasant mom to be around if I were always stressed out and tired from working more (and I get tired enough as it is). So even though it may be harder in some ways to live on one income, it’s totally worth it for me to maximize my time with my family and minimize my stress. 🙂
sarah says
Thank you so much form this article, and all the responses to it. I have been feeling a bit crabby about being a sahm lately. The all day work schedule, the cooking, and cleaning, and the isolation (still working on finding other sahms nearby). You have all re-inspired me. I am very fortunate to be with my little man every day!
Sara@Save Money, Live Joyfully says
Ahhh, I understand exactly. The accolades or promotions that one would receive in a traditional outside-the-home job are not there for SAHMs. (Not to mention the people who think SAHMs have tons of time on their hands because we stay home.) But, while it’s not always possible to stay home (my parents, for example, were in a position where both had to work and I turned out okay), you will not regret it. Worldly accolades are not as important to me than those little kisses and time spent with my babies 🙂
Kristine says
I’ve felt that way, too–especially the isolation. Now that my kids are all in school, it’s a little easier, but when they were babies (and they’re all very close together in age), it was hard for me to be stuck at home all the time with not much adult companionship.
Erica @ Just Call Me Cheap says
I was just thinking the same thing as you! Some days I feel so overwhelmed that I wish I had a full-time job but then I realize that no matter if you stay home full time or work full time it will never be easy. Being a mom is the hardest job on the planet but in the end I feel that it is the most fulfilling job you can have (though it is still nice when I can drop the kids off with my mom for the day once in awhile to get some peace and quiet!).
The Prudent Homemaker says
Sarah,
Two things that may help:
Join an online forum/discussion group with women who have similar interests. You’ll get to have some great conversations, and you won’t feel so isolated.
Learn some new things. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to sew, knit, refinish furniture, take better pictures of your baby, garden, etc. This is a great time to start learning! I have lots of projects and interests, and while I don’t have a spotless home (I’d rather be sewing :), or gardening 🙂 ), I find a lot more happiness when I’m creating. At the end of the day, you can see what you’ve done, and it is quite fulfilling.
Kim says
Hi Sharon!
Dr. Laura and I salute you! 🙂
Rachael says
One thing my husband and I are just beginning to try is me working a full time professional job during the day while he works some evenings and weekends. It’s not a permanent solution for us, but it makes it more affordable since we are both working and we don’t need to pay for much day care at all. Plus the kids are almost always home with one parent.
Annie says
My husband and I also wanted me to be a SAHM. In our situation, I was a teacher making 43,000 and he, a seminary student, making $8.50 an hour (no overtime allowed). We were already accustomed to living on practically nothing because we were sending my checks, minus tithe, to debt, so I left my job and we cut the budget to the absolute bare minimum. We did what we had to do for what we believe was right. We never went without, though it was hard at times. The point is, if you want to do something, you will make it happen. If you don’t, you’ll make excuses.
Liz V says
Hi,
I just wanted to say to all the moms who dedicate the time to their kids you are great!!!! I don’t have kids due to a medical condition, but my parents were with us a lot. My mom was a teacher and her schedule was great. I loved the fact that my mom was home when we got home. We always had a home cooked meal and plenty of attention. So please remember we might not say it but we appreciate it a lot. In this day when people are popping out kids without really realizing how much kids need them its a great to see posts like this about sacrificing material things to have a relationship with your kids. It really does start from birth….
Wendy says
I have been a stay at home mom for almost 15 years, working when childcare and a job lined up perfectly. I am so glad I can be at home with my children. I am in school and if all goes right will finish my teaching degree when my youngest starts school. It is a blessing to be able to stay home and I take it that way as a blessing. It does not make me a better Mom as I still have the same parenting struggles as working parents do. My husband is in the military so we have cut back on things and coupon like crazy to keep the balance but in the end it is so worth it.
Susan says
I’m happy for everyone who is able to have the livestyle they want, whether it’s being a SAHM or not.
I can certainly understand how mothers of young children want to stay home with theit little ones. And there are most definately expenses related to working outside the home that you would not have if you stayed home. But to the commenters who say that they’re planning to return to work when their children reach school age — something to consider is that it can be harder for you to hold down a job when your kids are older than when they are little.
Of course young children need love and attention, but when they are little their needs are more physical. There are angels out there who are wonderful with young children, and there are plenty of options for affordable childcare if you think outside the box and look around. Find the right person and environment for your children while you work, and they will be fine. When my child was little, leaving her in care of our provider was not difficult because I knew she has loved, happy, and taken care of.
But when kids get older, their needs are more emotional. They becme better able to take care of their own physical needs, but they are still children emotionally. They outgrow the safe, protected, nurturing world of their childcare environment at the same time that they are exposed to more outside influences — in the schools, the neighborhood, etc. They get involved in outside activities that require transportation. They need help with homework. They have obligations, like piano practice for example, that require supervision. They will call you at work. I could go on and on.
For me, I have a job I love, and would not stay home full time even if it was an option (it’s not). I get a great deal of personal fulfillment from it, not to mention the fact that it provides for us financially. But I find it much more challenging to balance career and parenthood now that my daughter is approaching the teen-age years. I feel like she needs me more now than ever. I wish I could be more available to her in those after-school hours.
Just wanted to offer this persepective from the parent of a tween.
Also, keep in mind that, in this day and age, it can be a lot more difficult to re-enter the job market than to stay in it.
Katie says
Thank you so much for this comment! I think it’s great for mothers to stay home if that is what works best for their family, but it’s not best for every family. My husband and I follow Dave Ramsey’s plan too and our only debt is our mortgage but I still have to work outside the home. I am a part-time nurse and nursing is definitely a job that you can’t quit for awhile and go back to, it’s always changing. Besides that, I think I’m teaching my kids that we can’t always do what we want to do in life, sometimes you do things because you have to. Also, we have parents that watch our kids while I work. That is a special time that our kids have with their grandparents. Being a SAHM is fine, but so is being a mom who works outside the home. I don’t think there is one way. I also think this issue is something that Satan uses to divide women when we need to be encouraging each other.
Shelley says
So happy for you! We suffered through infertility, so when we got pregnant, after costly infertility treatments in NYC that worked, there was no doubt I was not going to be separated from my baby by going back to full time teaching. I know how demanding teaching is, so I’m so glad you are able to be home now. It’s awesome and amazing to keep using those teaching skills with your own child. I also teach a Bible study class during the week, and I plan on teaching couponing for beginners soon.
We were fortunate to have paid off all our debt, including our infertility treatments, while I was still employed. We also planned ahead and built a big rainy day fund while I was still teaching. The last year I worked, we lived like we were on one salary and put my paychecks in savings. So glad we did. It’s such a blessing to be home with the little one!
Tina @ Mamas Like Me says
This sounds a lot like my journey to becoming a SAHM. I, too, was a teacher and wanted to stay home after the birth of our first child, but my husband was afraid we couldn’t make it on one teacher income (his). After I got pregnant with our second, I knew I couldn’t put another child in daycare so we decided to try it for one year of my staying home. We cut back on EVERYTHING and I started doing in-home daycare for other teacher’s children. That was 3 years ago and I’m still home with our now 3 boys 🙂 I don’t have a stylish wardrobe and we’re plugging along on our Dave Ramsey plan, but I can’t imagine anything more important than being home with my kids right now!
Sarah says
I did the same thing after the birth of my 2nd child, I realized that I wanted to be at home with both of my children so my husband and I decided, when our 2nd child was 10 months old, to move where we could afford a single family home with backyard and he didnt have an obnoxious commute and I got to stay home with our children. It was/is the best decision we have ever made. I started my own in-home childcare in Aug.2006. We have had some bumps along the way..who doesnt?..but I have managed to continue to do what I love the most..teach & love not only my own children but other children as well. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to do what I love most. We now have 3 children..9,7, and 2.5 year old (our unexpected surprise and blessing). My 2nd daughter never went to daycare. I even homeschooled my eldest for a year after conflicts with the Dept. of Ed. where we live wanting to put her in kindergarten (she was reading on a 2nd grade level at the time), ran the daycare, and was pregnant..all in the same year. I am so proud of everyone for all the sacrifices they make to be debt-free. I wish that we could achieve that goal..keep plugging along.
Deb says
I am on the other side, we got married young, 20 and 21, dh has gotten one undergraduate and two graduate degrees in the almost 20 years we have been married, there were struggles financially, but those are the times that we trusted God the most because mathematically, it just didn’t work. My kids are 18,16 and 14 now and I will never regret being home for them. You just don’t get the time back and all those little things that seem so valuable…..vacations, new cars, bigger houses, me time (pedicures, manicures, coffee, gym, whatever) all seem kind of silly when I think about giving up time with my precious kids. The years go by so fast, trust me, and they really don’t care about a lot of the stuff that we think kids need, what they need is time and consistency and being taught to be content and thankful. A lot of moms think that when the kids go to school, that is a great time to get a job, but junior and high school are when they need you the most and you need to be “tuned in” to them the most and they will “need” you at inconvenient times, trust me. It feels like forever when you are up all night, changing the 100th diaper and washing the 100th load of laundry that week, but one day, you look back and think, I would LOVE to do that all over again just to have that precious time back………..hang in there, it is sooo worth it.
Rachel says
Thanks for the encouragement to look at the big picture and not just the next month or year!
Kathy says
Love!
Susan says
“A lot of moms think that when the kids go to school, that is a great time to get a job, but junior and high school are when they need you the most and you need to be “tuned in” to them the most and they will “need” you at inconvenient times, trust me.”
Deb, exactly! I wrote a long post (below) and this is precisely the point I was trying to make, but you said it better.
Jessica says
I TOTALLY agree. We are making it work for me to stay home part-time, and it is so worth it. I always tell myself that I have the rest of my life to work, pay down bills, etc. I only get to be a parent to this child, during this age, once!
Unfortunately, I have a friend who is so focused on Dave Ramsey’s debt snowball that she says she “has to work full time.” It makes me sad because she is putting her financial priorities (although good priorities) ahead of the time she could be spending with her child. Her child will only be 2 once – you don’t get that time back. I know there are many families where the mother absolutely has to work. It just bothers me when some people say they “have to,” when really they are choosing to. I respect different people’s choices (SAHM, home schooling, full-time work), I just wish people would own their choices more often. As many have testified, if you want something bad enough (like to stay home), you can do drastic and creative things to make it happen. And, as Deb says in a later post below, if working full-time makes you happy and fulfilled and you wouldn’t want to stay home, then say so and be confident in your choice.
Analise says
I so agree with you, Jessica. I have a number of friends who are stay at home moms and the majority of them have made major sacrifices to do so. I work by choice. There are indeed some situations that people honestly must work. That said, most of the people I personally know who say they want to stay at home but don’t actually could afford it if they were willing to dial back their lifestyle. That or they lived so far beyond their means for so many years that debt prevents them from staying at home.
One thing I don’t see discussed often enough is deciding on these things and working toward them BEFORE you have kids. We waited until we were in our 30s to have children so I was able to, both professionally and financially, take 6 months off for mat leave and have a nanny. I had also built marketable skills and experience that I was able to leverage to get a full-time work from home position at my company. That combined with a nanny has been a wonderful situation for our family. That wouldn’t have worked in my 20s.
My biggest piece of advice would be to discuss these things before you’re married, make sure you’re on the same page, and then figure out what you need to do to make it (whatever it is) happen. Don’t have kids until you are in a position to do so in the manner you desire.
Wendy says
Thank you for writing this. I have always homeschooled my sons but my oldest began high school at a public school this year. My middle schooler is still home but I’m toying with the idea of a part time job. Thank you for helping me see that I should probably continue to make myself available a while longer. Like you, I have enjoyed being here for my kids 24/7. Time does go by too fast! Thanks for a great post!
Dianna says
I recently came home after 19 years of working full time. I have friends that stayed home when their kids are younger and then went back to work but me, I am the total opposite. Wanting “things” and debt kept if from happening when our kids were younger. In our situation i have found that this time with them later in their young years is just as important as when they are little. I have one that is a senior this year, an 8 year old and a 3 year old. My oldest is very active in school sports, student council, Beta, Quiz Bowl etc. I now get to see all her events as well as be there for her other needs. In the past I did not get to attend much. I worked in a hospital and I could not just leave or come in late etc. I have found that as they get older they need you even more now than ever before. I think everyone should do what is best for your family as far as working and not working but the most important is to be on the same page and start thinking about these things even before you ever have children and before you get any debt.
Jen @ MyPotpourriWorld says
That is wonderful. Great job, Sharon 🙂
Sara@Save Money, Live Joyfully says
I’m impressed with your “big picture” mentality, and your sacrifices to ensure staying home for a longer period of time. I’m sure it was hard to go back to work when your son was an infant, but by seeing the final goal (staying at home after the school year), you were able to push on and save what you needed in order to make that goal a reality. We all have different goals, and different ways of going about those goals, and I applaud you for your making it happen even when you had to make difficult decisions.
Alice says
wow that’s very encouraging! I feel like Sharon and I are in the same boat. it’s just that my resignation from work when I was 2 months pregnant was actually because I had such a difficult pregnancy (even resulting to my baby being born 1-month premature).
Right now I just do whatever I can to help earn some income but I must admit that it’s hard to make significant income online especially because I just started blogging like 2 months ago. But thanks to this blog, I get a lot of ideas and encouragement!
Shannon says
My daughter is 15 months and I am hoping, hoping, hoping to have the luxury of SAH sometime in the near future. Personally, I know there is no reason we can’t live on one income but I think it is hard for my husband to let go of the things that my income affords us. I am praying hard about this right now so I appreciate the encouraging post.
Martina says
My Husband and i decided that i be a full time stay at home mom, as we found out he would leave for Iraq 3 weeks after my son was born, that was 5 years ago, in the meantime we added another deployment and a move, and another son …there was never a even a chance for me to go back to work.
We are now in the process of deciding if we should continue with the Military or not, but one thing is sure i will be staying home even in the future.
GSS says
That is pretty close to what my husband and I did, we had to find a way that I could home school the boys, because Public Education, wasn’t doing it for me, and the waiting list at the Private Schools (plus the cost) was ridiculous.
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Heather Barker says
Dear Commenters,
My son is 5 months old and I have returned to work for about a month now. We have no frills to cut. We sold everything of any value. And when it comes down to it, there is no possible way I could stay home with my son. We could barely afford the doc in pay I received from maternity leave. Be thankful you can stay home but give some grace to working moms. Sometimes you just don’t have any options. My mom worked and I feel I turned out OK. Children of working moms are still wonderful, still loved, and still cherished.
Sara@Save Money, Live Joyfully says
Absolutely agree! Staying home doesn’t make someone a good parent, and working outside the home doesn’t make anyone a bad parent!!! The only thing that makes someone a good parent is loving their children and raising them right. No mention of working or staying at home.
Different families have different needs. I wish people could understand that what works for them doesn’t always work for someone else. In the meantime, Heather, be encouraged that your son is very lucky to have someone who loves him so much!
Guest says
My mom also worked outside the home and she is my absolute best friend. Through college, graduate school, living in Europe and living in a variety of states, I have talked to her every single day! Working or not working does not determine the relationship you will have with your son. If you desire to eventually stay home, you and your husband can set that as a goal and determine small steps to get you there. Don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to provide for your family.
Heather Harman says
Yes, I think the original poster is mainly talking about how she accomplished a goal that was important to her. Not everyone wants that goal, or has the means to do so.
Susan says
Heather, I hear you. Don’t ever feel guilty about working. Providing for your family financially is an essential responsibility of parenthood. Your son will be fine.
I echo Heather Harman’s comment. I respect the original poster in that she found a way to realize the lifestyle she wanted, and that in itself is inspirational. But others, such as you and I, are in different situations, with different goals. If you are successful at balancing the demands of child-rearing and working outside the home, then you are a success story as well.
sara says
Good point Susan- I’d like to hear a few success stories on women balancing work and family. There is no wrong way to be a mother, and if you choose to work or if you have to work, it doesn’t mean that you have the wrong priorities.
Thrifty Military Mommy says
Fantastic! I’m super happy for you guys. Our story was much the same when I got pregnant with our daughter. I was planning on returning to work about a year after I had her, but I quickly realized that I wanted to stay home much longer.
With the help of God and some major budgeting plus another child later I’m still at home! It’s now been 4-1/2 years and we’re doing well on just one budget!
I still have absolutely no desire to return to work, lol!
Danielle B says
Good for you! I worked most of my son’s first year, but have been at home for almost five years now. I love homeschooling them, and I appreciate my husband working so hard to make that happen for us. Being at home with your children is never something that you’ll regret later in life.
Lynn says
I would like to check out Sharon’s blog. If anyone knows the address, please pass it on!
Rachel says
Me too!
Dana @ The Coupon Challenge says
http://www.momondealz.com/
Elias says
Like you, I was also a teacher and we cut out a lot to make it work. Another benefit to not working is the cost of a wardrobe. If or when I go back to work, I will have to buy a whole new wardrobe since clothing has been one of those expenses we really pulled back on. Believe me, having the latest trends is not a priority to me when I consider that I can stay home. Plus I find we ate out much more when I was working just from the dreaded thought of cooking after a long day at work. We also cut down to one car, which I know doesn’t work for everybody. And of course not paying childcare makes for a huge savings too. Congrats on staying home!
Marisa Stone O'Brien says
Does Sharon have a website she can share?
Dana @ The Coupon Challenge says
Her website is: http://www.momondealz.com/
Laura says
She does! She is one of my favorite bloggers! Her site is http://www.momondealz.com!
Faith says
It is sooo nice to hear this story! I quit my full time job 4 years ago and picked up very part time work (in the evenings) so that I could stay home with our son. The sacrifices have been hard (we even gave up our home and started renting), but soooo worth it. This is time I won’t be able to get back and I am thankful that God has provided for us during this time. God, Dave Ramsey, couponing, and just plain old giving things up has helped us pay off $23,000 in debt (we are now debt free!!!), save $6,000 in an emergency fund all while I work only 10 hrs a week, and my husband works a seasonal job (6 months a year).
I’ve had people tell me, “Oh, you are so lucky to be able to stay home with your son”, and my reply is always this – It’s not luck, it’s God’s grace, hard work, sacrifice, and perseverance.
We still have a long way to go, and I look forward to what God has in-store for us next. This site has been so helpful and encouraging in our journey. Thanks so much Crystal for all you do 🙂
peever says
I’ve been home with our kids for nearly 4 years now. I didn’t think we’d be able to swing it, but my daughter had some medical needs at the time and I quit my job somewhat unexpectedly so we had no time to prepare. Thankfully we were already debt free at the time so I didn’t have to worry about that, but we definitely had to make some major lifestyle changes to swing this. It really is amazing what you can live without!
We mostly just get by. We are still debt free except for our mortgage and we have been able to pay for expenses as they come up, but haven’t managed to add much to our savings and haven’t done any additional investments to our retirement accounts (although my husband is self-employed and I know all our commercial property and equipment are a huge chunk of our retirement) or our kids’ college funds.
We just keep taking it day by day and I hope that I can continue to stay home with our kids until they are both in school (2 more years) and hopefully I can just get by with PT work when they are in school so I can still be home with them in the afternoons. I always wonder if we’re doing the right thing by me staying home and not being able to save much, but I know our kids are benefitting greatly from this right now.
Leighann says
I love being able to stay home with my kids, but I also miss working outside the home. For us, the decision for me to stay home was also based on finances – we simply couldn’t afford to have one child in full time daycare. The most inexpensive daycare I could find in my area started at $250/week for a 3 month old! If I had gone back to work at my previous employment, I would have been bringing home about $1100 per month, after taxes – which would have left me about $100 after paying childcare for one child. That amount doesn’t even cover gas back and forth for the month! When I got pregnant with our third child (the oldest is in public school so there’s no worry about daycare with her), we really knew I would have to stay at home. While I’m at home, I’m working on getting my Bachelor’s degree in History so that when the two smaller ones reach grade school age I can go back to work. Lots of places around to hire me with that degree – but only with that degree! So it all works out.
For us, cutting the eating out was the big thing. We always feel rushed for time, and I don’t have any energy left after taking care of the little ones. Even putting together crock pot meals and doing freezer cooking seems to take more energy than I have; at the end of the day I’m just exhausted, and it’s hard for me to wake up in the morning because I’m not getting enough rest (ha ha, every mom says that!). Getting take out really helped us out in that, but it’s so expensive and so bad for you!! So we’ve worked on cutting the take out and fast food, and that has helped our budget so much.
Lee says
I’m really curious what jobs you are referring to. I always assumed that history majors became teachers. I really hope you reply. Trying to help my kids decide on college majors.
Sara@Save Money, Live Joyfully says
Lee, I’m a history major…yeahhhhhh, that one didn’t work out so well for me. My only options were teacher and research assistant. Now I’m staying home, and homeschooling, so it’s fine. But if I were looking to start a career in something other than those fields, I wish I would have researched careers before settling on a major. And I REALLY wish I was good at math. My husband’s engineering degree has really helped him.
Leighann says
You would be surprised at the fields you can enter into that don’t care what degree you’ve got, just that you’ve got a B. in something. The company I’m planning on working for when I’m done is that way; they care more about the # of degreed employees than the actual fields (I have other degrees that will back up this one, too, but they are just Associate degrees and the company wants B. degrees).
You could always try working at a library in the Genealogy department; if you went on and got a master’s degree, you could be a head librarian. There are so many things you can do with a history degree; history requires research, though!
Susan says
I wondered the same thing. I love history, but what would you do with a history degree besides teach?
Just sincerely curious ….
Jen says
I’m curious too. My husband’s first degree was in history, and he wanted to teach college (be a professor). After the history degree though, he couldn’t get into a PhD program, as they were extremely competitive and limited at that time. There were no jobs either, because Boomers were firmly entrenched for at least 20 more years at the time. He ended up working at Discovery Zone.
He went back for a biology degree, and now has a great and secure job in a cytogenetics lab (analyzing chromosomes for cancer diagnosis). He still reads huge history books all the time for fun though.
The Prudent Homemaker says
Leighann,
How would making bigger batches work for you? Making twice as much of a meal and planning for leftovers is a big time saver for me. Also, if I’m cooking something like waffles in the morning, I can use the in-between time to start soup for that day’s lunch. I also cook 10 cups of beans at a time, and put any extras in the freezer so that I can pull them out on several other occasions to make burritos or soups.
Leighann says
I do make bigger batches and try to freeze when I get a chance, but – I hate to even use this “excuse” – I am so tired all the time that any cooking at all wears me out (I have an auto-immune disease that drains my energy; no matter what I do to get my energy levels up, I really only have enough to chase after the two babies all day and get my schoolwork done. My older child and husband pitch in on weekends to help get the house clean and in order. My good days means I can get something in the crock pot and a few loads of laundry done). However, sometimes on weekends I can work it so that I get a good deal of freezer cooking done, like making several batches of muffins, grilling some chicken breasts, that type of thing. I just do what I can 🙂 I find that chili is the best food for me to freezer cook because I can buy bags of beans very cheaply and make crock pot chili that’s more than enough for two meals for the family, and we can freeze the other half. And, we usually have beans left over for more chili! 🙂
Heather Harman says
Yes, I’m super curious about those jobs, as a History major myself. I ended up adding on the Education classes and a French minor so that I could teach, and not end up unemployed!
Jill says
I have a Ph.D. in history, and while I’m not sure what jobs she is referring to that require a job in history other than teaching, you can certainly find gainful employment with any humanities degree. You just have to market yourself right. If you are a good writer, you can stress that on your resume. Oftentimes history is something that people who want to be lawyers major in, because it provides excellent background. Yes, the traditional career is teaching. But you can be a docent at a museum or work in historical reenactment. There is such a field as historical consulting, or you can work at a think tank, if you are willing to move to the DC area.
There is also a field called historical preservation. Or you could work in an archive. Many branches of the federal government would also hire a history major. You could be a research analyst at the FBI.
Anyway, this is all to say that you can find a job with a degree in history even if you don’t want to teach. Sure, you probably won’t get rich, but if it’s what you love (or like me you’re already stuck with the degree!), you can find something. You can go into business with a general humanities degree as well.
Hope this helps.
Leighann says
There are many jobs in which a degree in History can help you out!
Teaching is one of those jobs. I wouldn’t mind teaching, not at all, especially teaching History, so that is a career field that will be open to me when I get my degree.
Another is working in the Genealogy department at the local library; between a History degree and a master in Library Science, I could be made head librarian with an emphasis on Geneaology.
There are several colleges and universities around here, and lots of history (I live on the MS Gulf Coast – lots of history down here lol). I could get a job working over in New Orleans, or working in Mobile, doing lots of things that involve history. I could research, I could write, ohhhh all sorts of things. I could get a job in a University and work in the research departments there.
Not to mention that lots of companies, especially big companies in my area, don’t care *what* degree you have; it’s more important that you have a B.S. or a B.A. than what you have it *in* The company I’m planning on working for when I’m done (this is a realistic goal, they’re the biggest employer in the state) doesn’t care what my degree is in. So, I’m majoring in something I love, and something that will translate into several fields. However, I can only take 2 classes per semester because I’m paying for it entirely out of pocket and I’ve got the two little ones at home to consider, so it takes a while. By the time my little dude (6 months old now) is ready to go into grade K, I should be finished with the degree and ready to enter the workforce. It’s a nice plan 🙂 🙂 🙂
Leighann says
Oh gosh, I realized what I did!
“Lots of places around to hire me with that degree – but only with that degree! So it all works ”
I didn’t mean that places would hire me only with a History degree, I meant that they would only hire me with a degree! Like, they only want degreed people, but the degree doesn’t matter. My degree of choice is History.
I hope that makes more sense now 🙂
Jennifer says
Thanks for the story. I’ve been at home for almost 4 years with my daughter. Through two bouts of unemployment with my husband and a cross country move, we are also just getting by. We take it year by year and have been very lucky. You always give me great inspirational stories and frugal tips that allow me to continue to be home with my daughter. Thank you.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Hi Jennifer!
Thanks for writing! I’ve been at home for just over two years with my two children, including a cross-country move (Maryland to California) last week and two seasons of unemployment. We’re always just getting by, but we always have more than enough. As you said, we take it year by year, and we have been very blessed. I’m always glad to hear that others like me are making it work! 🙂
Jess
Nicole says
What an encouraging story! It’s so neat to see you living with priorities in order, giving up some things to stay home with your children. You will never regret that decision.
You also have such an optimistic attitude and have great communication and teamwork with your husband.
Way to go! You are a champ!