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21 Days to a More Disciplined Life: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Missed the first posts in this 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life series? Read them here.

I’ve noticed a number of comments from you all about my resolve to get up by 5 a.m. Monday through Thursday. Many of you have wondered how I’m pulling it off or how I manage. And I’ve gotten vibes from some of you that you’ve felt guilty that you get up later than me.

Please, please, please do not feel guilty if you get up later than me. Seriously.

While I think getting up early can be a fantastic way to get your day off to a great start and I certainly don’t want to encourage you to sleep in out of laziness, I want you to remember that you need to do what is best for you in whatever life season you’re in. I don’t have a baby, I’m not pregnant, and I only have three children who all sleep soundly through the night (most nights, at least!). I also can go to bed early and I have a husband who is supporting and joining me in my early-to-bed, early-to-rise challenge.

Do What Works for You

There have been many seasons in my life when getting up early was not wise or healthy. Maybe you’re in one of those seasons. Or maybe you just plain weren’t created to rise early. What works for me won’t necessarily work for you. Don’t feel that you need to get up early just because I am or because it’s really making a difference in my life.

Consider what your family’s needs are. Consider your own strengths and weaknesses. And then choose goals that work for your family–even if they are almost the exact opposite of what works well for someone else.

Embrace Your Own Uniqueness

You can spend all of your life trying to measure up to someone else. You can fritter away hours of time wishing you had her hair or her figure or her energy or her gifts.

But you are not her, you are you. You have unique gifts, talents, and abilities. You can improve upon what God has given you, you can wisely steward what He has given you, but you cannot change who He has created you to be.

So instead of living life wishing you were someone else, embrace your own uniqueness. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t get up when she gets up, or decorate your home like she decorates hers, or fit into the size of jeans she does, or juggle all the activities and responsibilities she does.

Be Free From Guilt

Your life and goals are going to look different from others–and that is completely okay. In fact, if everyone were a carbon copy of each other, wouldn’t life be dull and colorless?

Do the best you can with the energy, gifts, talents, and resources you have in the season of life you are in. And then be free from guilt!

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  • Emily says:

    thanks for sharing. I think a key point is that we use our time effectively. If you are a late night person and sleep in until your kids get up at 7:30 that is okay but just use your late night time as productively as you can. Or at least that is my takeaway. =)

    • Kimberly says:

      I agree Emily, I work much better at night. When I wake up in the morning, it takes me at least an hour to just wake up and be ready for the day. Definitely not the time to try and be productive.

  • Kimberly says:

    I have the hardest time with this! I am always asking myself, how in the world can I not get more done? I have to remember that I have a demanding 14 month old (who has yet to sleep through the night) and two exciting teenagers.

    Thank you for the reminder to be free from guilt! I can do this and I can accomplish what I can with the time I am given.

  • Janille says:

    Very good points! Although I am an early riser 😀 If I don’t get up early and get my workout done after my kids go to school, there is no workout that day…

    • Agreed Janille! I am up at 5am and at bootcamp by 5:45, back home by 6:50. If I did not do it at that time, I would absolutely not have another chance during the day/evening. But I can remember back with 5am was still the middle of the night for me. Seasons change.

  • Diane says:

    Definitely agree! I get up before 5 almost every morning but I go to bed early and have always been a morning person.

  • Lindsay says:

    Thank you for this post! I really needed to hear this. Not to add to your guilt, but I am constantly comparing myself to you, and not measuring up! I think my husband is tired of hearing about my shortcomings, lol. =)

  • Amanda Hughes says:

    Hi! I am 19 years old, married, and my husband and I have a three year old daughter together. I was hoping for some suggestions to do with my daughter. We are stuck at home every day till about 5pm. My husband leaves for work at 5am and gets home at 5pm. We only have one car, and we live out in the country where absolutely nothing is within walking distance. Lately, I have been feeling like a bad mother because all my daughter and I do are sleep in, watch movies all day, and are bored. I was hoping for some suggestions of things to do with my daughter so that her days are filled with excitement instead of bore. We are on limited income too, as my husband is the sole provider while I get through Paramedic school. After reading your posts about discipline, I am going to start forming the new habits of waking up early (my early would be at 7am), running a mile (our driveway is 1/8 mile long, so its easy for me to leave the front door open and run the length of the driveway while my daughter sleeps. If anything happens, or if she wakes up, I can hear her or she can see me in the driveway.), get a shower, and then get my daughter awake, bathed, and fed breakfast. Especially with getting up earlier, I was hoping for some suggestions to fill our day with bonding time and excitement. Any help is appreciated! Thanks!

    • Wendy says:

      When my kids were younger, I just tried to have a structured day with planned activities. Some of the things we did were play with play dough, fly a kite (on windy days), read books we’d got from the library, invite a friend over for a play date, go on a walk (give her something to find like an acorn or a red leaf), blow bubbles, do art projects. The possibilites are endless with a little one because everything is new and exciting.

    • Crystal says:

      If you google “Tot School” there are many ideas of things to do–many that can be done without buying anything new.

      I’d suggest setting up a simple routine and simple goals of things you’d like to do with/teach your daughter. Keep it simple — even just 3-5 things in the same order every day is a start!

      In addition, if you could go to the library once every few weeks and check out a big stack of books on different subjects, that can give you hours of fun and enjoyment and learning together.

      Some other ideas: play games, take nature walks, learn songs together, practice simple habits (such as shoe-trying or teeth-brushing), teach her simple chores (unloading the dishwasher, helping with laundry, emptying trashes), cut out pictures from magazines to glue on pages and make collages, bake/cook together, organize each room in the house, write cards for shut-ins/prisoners/soldiers/elderly…

      More ideas:

    • Jen says:

      I can so understand how you are feeling. I have 2 boys ages 3 and 4 and have only had 1 car since my oldest was born (my husband is also gone all day/night). We live in a condo with no yard, and I often feel like Im not doing enough with them. We spend a LOT of time watching tv which is NOT what I want for them. I ve been praying for wisdom on what I can do with them , so we aren’t going crazy indoors all day. Its nice to hear Im not alone, and we all have our struggles. I will be praying for you. Good luck 🙂

    • I think the others have offered some great ideas. I have an 11 month old and a 28 month old. While my son naps (or is otherwise busy), my daughter and I cook together, clean together, and garden together. I take both of them grocery shopping, to the library, for walks, or for play-dates (or have friends over to visit). I find fun “toddler crafts” on Pinterest that cost little or no money. I keep a “basket of fun” stocked with bubbles, coloring books, stickers, frisbees, sidewalk chalk, play-dough, and activity books. We have fun waiting for and greeting the mail-man, and watching the trash truck (with its’ big arms) empty our three trash cans. Every day is an adventure!

    • Lesa says:

      Good for you for looking for fun things to do with your daughter! Our three year old son enjoys being read to, even the same books over and over, coloring, making play dough with me and then playing with the play dough, building with blocks, singing, playing store (with things from our home), playing pretend with his stuffed animals, and his new favorites are playing parade around the kitchen table and hide and seek (in the house). I hope this helps! Have fun!

    • Cheryl says:

      Try playing music together (pots and wooden spoons make a good drum set) or buy some cheap instruments like a harmonica or recorder for her to play. Play music on the radio and dance with your daughter or let her dance for you. She will enjoy showing off her skills. When my daughter was little like yours, I checked out 10 kid books from the library every week and read all 10 every day til the next week. Make sure there are tons of pictures to capture her interest. My daughter is an excellent reader now and sometimes “read” the books herself. It was fun to watch! Good luck!

    • Andrea says:

      Reading, coloring/drawing, follow the leader, cutting and gluing, blocks/legos, playing dolls…

      • Crystal says:

        A tub of Legos has been one of the best investments ever made at our house. $15 for hours and hours and hours of creative play.

        • On this note I would definitely suggest practicing pretend play with your daughter. We’ve found that our children didn’t naturally know how to pretend at first. I once made the mistake of sitting the older two (probably 1 & 2 at the time) down with a bin of blocks and telling them to play while I took care of the baby. After a couple minutes I realized that they didn’t know how to play with the blocks other than stacking them and knocking them down again. However, after just a few times of pretend play with them they were making “castles” and “houses” and having lots of fun.

          Invest the time know so that when your children are older and you possibly have younger children to attend to the older ones will know how to play by themselves.

    • Rachael says:

      The dollar store has tons of coloring books and other inexpensive activities that you can do together. At age three, you can begin working on simple counting, colors, and learning the alphabet. She can also be working on beginning to write her name (or even just pretending). Have her help you do some baking. My son who is three loves dramatic play–check out thrift stores and clearance racks for some dress up clothes.

      • Crystal says:

        Great suggestions! You can practice writing letters in shaving cream, sand, flour, pudding… we’re big into sensory activities at our house.

        Speaking of which, here are a few more links:

      • Stephanie says:

        I didn’t read all the comments, but my twins, boy and girl are 3. They started Headstart in September. Each week there’s a shape and color they work on. Also they’re working on their names. So with a yellow highlighter on a sketchpad or notepad trace the words, William, triangle and yellow. Then each day they use a darker marker and trace that word out learning the letters as they go. Then it’s scissor/shape time. They cut out those shapes and colored items and either create a pattern on paper with them or just glue them. Lastly, their homework for Friday is they have to bring in a couple items to show and tell with the class in those shapes or colors. They sing songs and do gym and library too. I’m impressed with what they’re learning. They also work on seasons/times of year for the month. So September was apple month, October pumpkin month, November harvest month. Then incorporate this idea into aspects of life, nature walks, cooking, books etc. It’s the reinforcement and repetition that works well for them right now, though it can be tedious for the non teacher adult.

        Maybe once a week you could maybe get up and take the hubby to work or he could catch a ride with a coworker to give you a chance to go to the library, mall, or visit grandma.

        Good luck.

    • Kimberly says:

      I am thankful that you are able to be at home with your daughter and you desire to teach her!
      As Crystal has already said it is so helpful even to have simple schedule for the day. I would suggest starting by setting times that you will have breakfast, lunch and snack(s) everyday. Then you can plan activities in between these times. I also recommend at least a “rest time” if your daughter doesn’t nap anymore that would be about the same time everyday. At our house we get ready for rest time by reading a few books together.
      Anything you are doing to care for the home she can do to help you. Include her and talk about what you are doing while you do it together! Even sitting down and reading your Bible together in the mornings.
      I read in a book one time about dividing up your day into sections to plan for instead of looking for 12 hours worth to fill all at one time. For example, look at breakfast-lunch, then lunch-5pm, then 5pm -bedtime or even smaller chunks of time if that is easier.
      When my daughter was three we started working on the alphabet, taking a letter every week or so and did everything we could think of for that letter! We looked through books to find the letter, made collages from magazines of the letter, sometimes I just drew a big letter and she colored all around it. The internet and library can be great resources for activities.
      And I also agree with an occasional tv show or DVD. To cut down at our house, we have set days/times that we will watch something. And occasionally if I need to concentrate on something I’ll let them pick out something to watch and now it is a treat instead of the norm!

    • Marlana says:

      If you are a Christian, but seeking to allow God to refine me allows God to change my heart and my direction. This gives me purpose and vision. I think some practical things like legs, pipe cleaners (great pass time for kids), a tiny keyboard to make music would help. For you, perhaps trying working on the internet, starting a network marketing business, or another business might be a good outlet. Reading books are good too. Give her paper and tell her to draw what she read about or act it out (if she’s only 3 maybe too hard to draw, but depending on her verbal skills can talk a good deal about it).

    • Kathy says:

      Hi Amanda, you sound like an awesome mom to me because you care for your little one and are trying to gather ideas to enrich her time:)
      One thought, though: It’s safer to exercise inside your home; although you can see your little girl from the driveway, little kids can be very active and get into things – even the angelic ones!
      I am a former longtime newspaper reporter who wrote about kids and safety a whole lot. Over and over, experts told me how quickly tragedy can happen. And it can just take a second or two and can involve loving, awesome parents!

    • Susan says:

      Amanda, forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but perhaps you can drive your husband to/from work once or twice a week so that you can have a car during the day. Living out in the country where there is nothing within walking distance and no public transportation can be very isolating.

      If you had even one day per week with a vehicle, you could get your errands done, go to the library, schedule an outside activity for you and your little one. Even errands can reduce boredom if you make it fun. Also, if you can take are of shopping and errands on a day when your husband is at work, then you can schedule family time on his days off and not worry about errands on his off days, since those are the only days you have a car.

    • KimH says:

      I learned how to garden & grow my own food. My daughters really loved it and it was like playing in the dirt/yard.. They both still have a love of the garden some 25+ years later…

    • Tina C says:

      I homeschool my 3 yr old and 5 yr old. For my 3 yr old, one of the things I use is the Letter of the Week curriculum found on . There are tons of ideas on this site!
      Instead of watching TV, we read. My girls love for me to read aloud to them from chapter books (not just children’s picture books). We have been reading Pilgrim’s Progress (my 5 yr old LOVES it) and Little House on the Prairie.

  • Maria says:

    I want to thank you for this. I spend WAY too much time comparing myself to others (and, in my eyes, falling completely short). So these words of yours really spoke to me: “You have unique gifts, talents, and abilities. You can improve upon what God has given you, you can wisely steward what He has given you, but you cannot change who He has created you to be.” Aha! So maybe I’m not all those other fabulous moms/women/people, BUT God gave me my OWN strengths. Why don’t I spend my energy on figuring out what they are, and how I can improve them? Thanks again. This meant a lot to me.

  • Know yourself, Like yourself, Be yourself. Best advice I’ve ever gotten in this area. Thanks for challenging me by your own personal goals, and encouraging us to be who God created us!

  • Wendy says:

    I don’t feel guilty at all and readily admit to everyone that I’m a sleepy head. The thought of getting up at 5 (or even 6) sounds like a punishment to me. It’s great if you can do it though, but when I have to, I’m ready for a nap by 2. I’d rather sleep later and feel better during the day.

  • Rachel says:

    Yes, Yes, Yes! Embrace Uniqueness- we are a 2nd shifter family, so 5 am could never be a realistic option. We are up until almost 2am each night. We are happy to be awake by 9 😀

  • Monica @ OurPerfectSeven says:

    I appreciate your post! I think ALL women suffer from some type of “wish I was” dysfunction at some point (or maybe it is just me) 🙂 With five children, I feel that I am constantly not doing enough. When I’m not having a pity party, I have the good sense to look around at what I do get accomplished and get over it. I totally relate to the phrase about what season of life you are in. It is so easy to forget the seasons when you are past them. It is easy to look at others and see what they can/can’t do and want it. Thanks for the reminder of being unique. God has set us all apart for our given tasks!

    • Tracy says:

      Amen! I am a mom of 5 as well, and the Lord has been dealing with me in the same way recently. I am realizing how much time and energy I am waisting by moping around feeling bad because I can’t keep up with so-and-so. When I really need to embrace what God has given me and do it with a whole heart, regardless of my limitations. “For in due season, we will reap what we sow, if we faint not.” Do I want to sow a good or bad spirit within my children?

  • Thanks for the encouragement! I have been a life-long comparer, and I often need to remind myself to stop it. God created me to be who I am: I am the best wife for my husband, the best mother for my children, the best big sister for my siblings, and the best oldest daughter for my parents. I am the only one who can be me, and fill the places I am in right now. So comparing myself to others in other places and other roles is a fruitless task and only discourages me. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Swapna says:

    I was reading your article and this is something I often struggled with. I wrote a post on my blog about this on what it got me thinking about.

  • Virginia Kuhn says:

    It is so true we need to do what works best for each of us, individually!!! We can glean great ideas from each other, but then need to make sure they fit our unique situations. I have been trying to do better about my laundry and took your suggestion of 1 load/day because I was feeling overwhelmed and burnt out trying to do it all in one day. It definitely helped, but I was starting to procrastinate and was beginning to fall into the deep laundry hole again because I felt like I was NEVER done with laundry and couldn’t keep up! I found that while trying to do it all in one day didn’t work, neither did just 1 load/day. My compromise, that is working well right now, is to do at least 2 loads (3 if I’m incredibly lucky enough to get the time) per day and then am able to take 1-2 days off before having to do any laundry again. This works much better for me because I do so enjoy the “No Laundry Day”s!!! 🙂

    • Heather says:

      That’s usually what I do. And one just has to accept that laundry really never is “done.” Unless you have nudity days sometimes – then I guess it could be done.
      Also, I do the big stuff first, like towels and sheets, because it’s quick to fold, and then it’s easy to get that next load in the dryer.

  • Judy says:

    Crystal, sometimes it’s amazing how much your words speak to me. I JUST logged off of a half-hour Facebook session, where I was glued to the screen, looking at pages of various old friends from high school and college. Every person, I was wishing I could be like them in some way, whether it’s in the job they have, relationships they have, the place where they live, or the lifestyle they are living. Sometimes I’m not content with my life, and I wish it was more like someone else’s. It’s frustrating to me when things don’t seem to be going how I think I want them to. But you are right… I need to STOP comparing myself to other people and focus on doing the best that I can for ME right now, in my situation, and to be happy with myself and my life.
    Thanks Crystal… this is just what I needed today. 🙂

    • Crystal says:

      Yes, yes, and yes! When I look at someone else’s life and want what they have, I try to remember that I probably don’t want the problems and trials they also have, too, so I should just be grateful for what God has given me!

    • Becky says:

      Yes, that Facebook can be a huge time and spirit sucker, right? I try to avoid it unless absolutely necessary. 🙂

      • Jennifer says:

        I once heard a quote that said, “Comparison is basement behavior.” It is hard not to compare….but, it takes a strong person to rise above and remember the many blessings God has given you… On another note…Facebook. Goodness. After being on it for a year, I recently took myself off. It became something that started making me feel bad, a time waster and I even started thinking, “hmmm…what clever thing can I post on there today.” Since getting off of it, I have become more productive, more postitive and have been using my time much more wisely. I have two little ones, ages 5 & 2, and I don’t want to miss anything that they do….esp. because I was on FB. I think it also feeds that ‘comparison’ thing.

        • Kathy says:

          Becky and Jennifer:
          I really needed to hear your messages. Thanks!

          • Jennifer says:

            You bet! 🙂 There is something about FB that just brings on a sad feeling. For me, at least…and a few other people I have talked to recently. And it was turning me into someone I didn’t like! For example, why should I feel the need to post what I am making for dinner tonite in the hopes of getting a few “likes?” I don’t know what it is….but, my sister agreed with me and a neighbor recently told me she got off of it, too because it was making her feel upset! Hang in there! 🙂

        • Marie says:

          I am so glad to hear the feedback on Facebook. I have never had a facebook page and refuse to get one. Many “friends” have consistently told me I NEED to be on Facebook!!
          One I just don’t have the time for it, two I don’t totally get it, and three I don’t need to know what people in college or other areas of my “past” life are up to. If we’re friends we will see each other, talk and get together when time permits.
          It just was nice to know I’m not living in a hole by myself! While I think there are some benefits to it I simply don’t have the time for it either.

        • Florence says:

          I’m with Becky and Jennifer. I deactivated my personal FB page too since it was such a time waster. Also, I found myself getting the shouldhave/couldhave/wouldhave mentality, right along with the if onlys. I realized how addicted I was after going through “withdrawal symptoms” for a few days but once I passed that, I don’t miss it all.

  • Tricia says:

    Great post again. Thank you for that reminder about not comparing yourself to others. Keep up the great posts 🙂

  • cat says:


    I love your words of wisdom!! 🙂

  • Camille says:

    I do get up around 5:30 AM — but only because my kids are early risers! It is really hard for me because in order to get the sleep I need and get up at 5ish, I should be in bed around 9 PM, but I just hate going to bed that early. So the end result is not enough rest. I’m sure in a few years my kids will sleep in more so I can, too! I’m so jealous (nicely) of the moms whose kids sleep! 🙂

    • Marie says:

      Camille, I don’t know how old your kids are but mine are 4 1/2 and 9mos old. We taught the older two to stay in there rooms til 7:00. So if they wake up they know they have to wait til their clock says 7:00, unless of course they need to go potty or something. It’s been a wonderful thing even when time changes occur.

  • Melia says:

    Thank you for this word, it is what my heart needed to hear. Thank you also for doing this series. It has been and continues to be a blessing to me.

  • Susan says:

    Search for bugs. Collect leaves rocks and sticks to make art out of. Have a picnic outside or in on a blanket. If it rains put on old clothes and slash in puddles then have showers and hot coco. Walks are good for both of you and you will be surprised just how far they can walk or build up to walk and its a great way to talk and just enjoy nature. Count rocks. Oh I can keep going but I think some days just to hang out and watch a movie is ok sometimes. Dont stress about it just enjoy it 🙂

    • Crystal says:

      Great suggestions! And I totally am with you on the movie thing. We do movies/DVDs at our house as one of many things our children enjoy. So long as children are being read to, loved on, nurtured, taught, and are having their creativity stimulated in lots of different ways, I think watching some movies/DVDs one a regular basis can also be just fine, too. 🙂

      • Beth says:

        Plus, there are lots of movies/DVDs that are quite educational. I don’t know how many times my kids have spewed out a phrase or done an act and I’m like, “Where’d you learn that?”, and they say, “Blue’s Clues!” or “Team Umizoomi!”. As long as I’m careful about what they watch, I’m all for them watching a little tv! 🙂

  • Rebekah says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for 5 years now and have never commented, this was a WoNDERFUL post and I’m so glad you wrote it. Thank you for all you do.

  • stephanie says:

    I love how you referred to different stages as seasons… it’s a beautiful and fitting metaphor and is really speaking to me right now… thanks!

    PS- I am SUCH a late-night person, I think learning to levitate would be easier than waking up at 5am, so I never felt any guilt about your goal– do what’s right for you and own it– good work!! 🙂

  • Lucky says:

    This is a good reminder.

    I had a tough night Sunday and used it as an excuse not to get up early Monday. I felt it all day.

    Today I’m back on track — up at 4:09, dough for Thanksgiving stuffing bread mixed and rising, soup for dinner in the slow cooker, cat fed, commence writing!

  • tracie says:

    my husband leave for work around 5:30 during the week so after he leaves I get up and have breakfast and get laundry going before the kids get up. On the days that I don’t get up early I don’t seem to get anything done around the house.

  • Marlana says:

    Yes, to this. I’ve wanted to get off fb for a long time. It was taking too much time, and stealing my job. But I kept listening to friends and other voices saying I could not. When I finally took the leap, it has not only freed my time, but has freed my mind as well. The ticker and all the fb flash was cluttering my mind, so I could not think. Facebook may be a great tool for some people, but let me tell you, for me, getting off fb has been key to time management.

  • *raises hand sheepishly


    I compare myself to others far too often. I have incredibly low self esteem as a result. It’s a hard habit to break.

    I love that quote about comparing yourself to yesterday though.

  • Elise says:

    Excellent post! I’ve been both and early and a late riser during different seasons of my life and never felt guilty about it. But your comment at the end about feeling guilty about the way I (don’t) decorate my home and the jeans I don’t fit in to kinda hit home.
    Embracing my own uniqueness is going to be challenging indeed!

  • Dineen says:

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post, Crystal. I hope it blesses and touches many as it has me. God has knitted each us uniquely and comparison to others seems to question his gifts and as it causes us pain. Thank you again.

  • Emily says:

    This is my first time to comment, but I really want to thank you for sharing this today. I’ve been struggling with the “21 Days to a More Disciplined Life” because I’ve been attempting to give up something that has been with me for 15 years of my life – trichotillomania. This isn’t something I can do once per day, and that’s it. It’s an ongoing struggle to not pull. Sometimes I create check lists for myself that I check off after just 15 minutes of not pulling.

    I’m awful at comparing myself to others because of how much I feel that I have to hide from others. In case you don’t know, trichotillomania is where someone pulls their hair. In my case, I haven’t had a full set of eyelashes in about 10 years, and I draw on my eyebrows daily. My husband is incredibly supportive of it all, and it genuinely doesn’t seem to bother him, but it bothers me. We’re expecting our first baby in March 2012, and I want to have this habit kicked by then. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear it!

    • Kayte says:

      Dear Emily- I did not read your comment before I posted mine. In no way did I direct that last part of my comment towards what you wrote. You sound like a precious lady, soon-to-be-momma. Blessings, and prayers for you.

      • Emily says:

        🙂 I definitely didn’t take it that way. I use the phrase, “about to pull my hair out” often, and I never even associate it with trichotillomania. But thank you. It was sweet of you to comment, and thank you for your kind words!

      • Emily says:

        I hit “cancel reply” instead of “submit.” 🙂 I definitely did not take it that way. I will often say, “wanting to pull my hair out” and have never associated it with trichotillomania. But thank you for commenting. I really appreciate your support! 🙂

  • Kayte says:

    After reading all these comments, It’s very clear to me what is on all of your hearts. Remember, God looks at your heart, and not what you accomplish with your hands. His grace flows freely. As a 50 year old mother, I look back and wish I had done soooo many things different. It’s very easy to send myself on a guilt trip. 😛 However, my heart was totally into loving, and meeting my children’s needs as best I could. Will they remember all of the days we would go outside, and dig in the dirt, catch bugs, or draw with sidewalk chalk? How about all of those bedtimes repeating bible verses??? I don’t know, but I do know that God put those seemingly unimportant things in my days with them that helped form the men and woman he has planned them to be. Blessings to you all. Relax, and know that you’ll be a 50 year old mom one day that will miss these hair-pulling days. Now I’m ready for grandmahood!

  • kerrie says:

    We women are such silly creatures sometimes. We think we have to do it all and be it all, all of the time. I am constantly reminding myself that pride sneaks in through comparisons. I must simply do my stewardship the best way I know and not focus on being like another. Ideas are good if they will help with my current stewardship.

  • Jaime says:

    Thank you so much for this post! Since having a baby in May, I find myself constantly comparing myself to my friends that have babies (what they are getting done each day, the activities they do each weekend, how they afford to do things, etc.). But what I have to remind myself of (almost daily) is that we are all different and live under different circumstances. Some of my friends stay at home and some work full time (like me). I can’t compare myself to someone with different circumstances. I have to be happy with what I get done each day/week and enjoy the precious little boy that I have been blessed with. After all I would rather spend my time with him than worrying about what someone else is getting done with their day!

  • Laurie says:

    Thank you Crystal for your blog and words to live by. I am a single parent to 2 kids 4&7. I work FT as a nurse 12 hr days 3 days week. I am now home the other 4 days and trying to slowly overhaul parts of our lives that were busy crazy,eating better and just having time for my kids. Thank goodness I do not compare our lives with others,but it is hard. We are blessed and so grateful for our family of 3.

  • Emily says:

    I just wanted to respond to those who posted about Facebook making them compare themselves to others and thinking that it was bad for that reason. I agree that there are those on Facebook who are very narcissistic. There are also those who choose to redeem it. Obviously if something is too much of a temptation for you it is best to avoid it. But I do think that God has taught me something powerful by confronting the sin of envy in me that sometimes presents itself as I read about others fancy vacations, expensive gifts, nights out on the town, etc. It’s an opportunity for me to confess it and thank Him again for His provision for my family. And as far as the other things, I see Facebook as an opportunity to be a blessing. I can encourage my friends and family as the Lord leads in a very easy way by using Facebook. I can let them know I am praying for them when they post their child is sick or rejoice with them at their child’s first steps. Like so many things in life, it can be a mix of the good and the bad.

  • Stephanie says:

    Thank you for the inspiring words Crystal! I think that guilt has a funny way of creeping in. It’s nice to have a reminder to let it go and do the best you can. Thank you for all that you provide for us!

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