Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Homemade Pizza (er, how not to improvise when making pizza!)

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The pizza might not look that bad, but let me tell you, looks can be deceiving!

As you all well know, we've been eating from the pantry this month. We've used up lots of odds and ends, we've tried some new recipes, and we've been eating better than usual because it's inspired me to cook and bake more.

And so far, the challenge has gone on without much mishap. Until last night, that is.

I had planned to make Homemade Pizza–something I've made countless times before. I already had the dough frozen and the meat cooked up, so I thought it would be a snap to pull off.

Well, it spiraled downhill quite quickly.

First off, the dough just didn't feel right when it thawed. Something seemed "off" but I couldn't place it, and I didn't have time to re-make it so I just rolled it out and went with it.

Then, I went to get the barbecue sauce out of the refrigerator and discovered we had used it all up. Oops.

Necessity is the mother of invention, right? So I attempted to replicate barbecue sauce using ketchup, brown sugar, and Worcestershire sauce. Bad idea.

I pulled the thawed browned turkey out of the bag and noticed it also seemed really tough and dry. But I threw it on the pizza anyway along with some cheese. And then I stuck it in the oven without waiting for the oven to heat up entirely–which was also a dumb mistake.

When I pulled it out of the oven ten minutes later, I was congratulating myself on my improvisations and felt so happy that the pizza looked just fine despite the issues which had arisen while making it.

We cut it and starting eating it and I quickly stopped patting myself on the back. While the pizza looked just fine, it tasted awful. The crust was doughy and yeasty, the "barbecue sauce" was icky, and the meat was anything but appetizing.

All put together, the pizza was disgusting. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is the worst pizza I've ever had in my entire life.

We did our best to try and eat a few pieces, but we finally gave up and pulled out some Tyson Any'tizers we still had lurking in the freezer. And we did something we've never done before–we threw the homemade pizza out!

Maybe that seems wasteful, but the pizza wasn't fit for anyone to eat, believe me. However, the flopped pizza was good for something–we all had a hearty laugh over how bad it tasted. And we also were very relieved to remember that the Eat From the Pantry Challenge is almost over. Almost!

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Comments

  1. Melissa says

    Thanks for the laugh! My husband and I still get a chuckle over the time I tried a recipe for cornbread that had actual corn in it. It was horrible.

  2. says

    I have been reading here long enough to know that your family is NOT wasteful. It’s probably best that you didn’t eat the pizza because what if everyone got sick? And you still managed to eat from something you had on hand- I would have been running out for take out for sure! These are the times when you just have to laugh and remember that if this the worst part of the day, you are doing just fine :)

  3. LindaB says

    A FUNNY story you will remember forever. It seems like all those meals that are all perfectly cooked and served are usually forgotten while the ones that were doomed to failure will be remembered much too long. …Well, at least it looks good!

  4. says

    When we were newly married I experimented with an italian meatloaf recipe. It was awful and it went to the trash. We still laugh about it. A waste of money, but I guess for a few dollars down the drain, it’s worth a lifelong joke among the family :)

  5. says

    would have had to taste the dough to figure out what went wrong but the sauce is easy..VINEGAR..you needed vinegar and possible some mustard.

  6. says

    Great story. I had a similar experience with a beef barley vegetable casserole. And my kids are equally excited that our “eat from the pantry” meals are almost gone. :)

  7. Sara says

    I tried to make Joloff Rice. I was so excited because it made me nostalgic for my days as a Peace Corps Volunteer in West Africa. What I actually made was a true discredit to the very tasty West African dish. My husband claimed to be full after I made it (We eat dinner very late and sometimes he eats on the way home, so it wasn’t a big deal.) A few days later, I mentioned how badly it turned out and that I probably wasn’t even going to eat the leftovers. This is huge for a woman who wants to throw anything subprime into an omelet, a pancake, or soup stock. “Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything then but when you were cooking it the smell made me sick to my stomach.” I still don’t know what went wrong! I think mainly I tried to throw in some leftover red beans. They may have been…unsuitable. FAIL.

  8. Molly says

    Oh, sometimes it happens. Inventing is good! At least you usually do well. (And I’m glad to see that somebody else puts bbq sauce on pizza like me!)