Guest post from Andrea
My husband and I purchased our first home when we were 23 years old. With no kids in the picture, we weren’t looking for anything fancy; we were thrilled to have a house that came with a refrigerator and central air conditioning!
It was small, and we figured that we would live here for no more five years. Once we had kids, it would be time to move on to something bigger and better. Fast forward seven years and almost three kids later, and we are unexpectedly still here.
Well-meaning friends and family often ask us when we will be moving… and they are usually surprised to hear that we don’t currently have any plans to move.
Here are a few reasons why we have decided to stick with our starter home for the time being:
We Recognized Our Needs vs. Wants
Our home is about 1300 square feet. It’s not tiny, but the layout is awkward and boxy. The three bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms are pocket-sized.
I will be honest and say that I dream of a larger kitchen, an open floor plan, a finished basement, and two spacious full bathrooms. But when I step back to reevaluate, those are just wants at this point, not needs.
Our Priorities Don’t Allow for an Upgrade
A priority for our family is for me to stay home with our kids. Living in a small house and not having a large monthly mortgage payment allows us to retain this priority.
Our Smaller Home is Low Maintenance
I do not enjoy decorating, cleaning, or organizing… so I am thankful that my small house makes these tasks seem more manageable.
We have also been able to complete some major renovations on our home (including a new roof and a bathroom remodel) thanks to the fact that the spaces were so small and fairly inexpensive!
Love Grows Even in Little Houses
I want my family to be tight-knit. My big kids are cheerful and content in their shared bedroom, and I appreciate the nearness that our small house affords us even though we are cramped at times!
I Don’t Want My House to Own Me
On the contrary, I want to own my house, completely. Over the years, we periodically threw extra cash at our mortgage and celebrated our 30th birthdays last year by using extra money in our savings to pay the remainder of the balance!
Some people advised us against this decision by saying that we would be better off investing the money or using it for a down payment on an upgrade. But I will attest that it was one of the best decisions that we have ever made.
We feel such greater financial freedom, and the increased cash flow is awesome! Also, since we know the sweet taste of being completely debt free, we are not in a hurry to acquire another mortgage.
So What’s Next For Us?
As our kids and family grow, we recognize that a larger home may soon become a need rather than a want. We hope to use the next few years to save money for a larger home — our ultimate goal would be to pay for our next home in cash, or to have a very tiny mortgage.
We are looking forward to working towards that goal!
This was nice to read because we are in the same boat. We are about to be completely debt free with a small house and two kids. We go back and forth with upgrading to a bigger house, but love the idea of complete financial freedom. I don’t want a huge house, that I have to clean and decorate as well. Thank you for writing this piece.
We are so happy that you found this so useful! Being completely free of financial burden is an absolutely amazing accomplishment. Congratulations! -Jordan, MSM Team
I often think of the novels I have read that detailed life for a family of four+ in a 1 room cabin… I figure if they can manage that, 3 beds and 1.5 baths is certainly manageable.
Excellent point!! -Jordan, MSM Team
We have raised our children in the first and only house we purchased. It is “small” and we have 4 children. The 3 boys shared a room. The only challenge was the fact that we have only one bathroom. But you make do. I am so thankful for our home and for the memories. God is good. Our children are grown and we can say to the Grandchildren this was you Daddy (or Mommy’s) room when they were your age. 🙂
What an inspiring read! I followed the link given to check out Andreas’ blog and sadly it doesn’t seem to be up anymore.
Hi
I have a question for everyone that has paid off their home..,
How much extra a month do you figure a person should put toward the principal? I know “as much as you can” is usually an answer that I get when I ask this. But that fluctuates month to month for us. Would an average of $100 be good?
What a great article. I would have loved a bigger home when my boys were young. With our smaller home I was able to work part time and we live in great neighborhood.My boys graduated from college and now my husband and I are empty nesters. We are going to be looking for small one floor home.
My husband was dedicated to paying off our mortgage and we did so 4 years ago. Then we saved for a while, enough for a down payment, since we were not making mortgage payments. We bought another house, moved out, and then sold the other house while it was empty. No way could we have done that if we still had a mortgage to pay (No bank would have loaned us the money, nor should they have). We took the money from the sale and paid the new house down to a small amount, reamatorized, and will hopefully have this one paid off in less than 5 years. This will be a home we can live in until we can’t keep up our own place anymore. I also hope we can save up for a mobile home to make it easy to travel and visit kids once they are grown. And by the way, our kids still share bedrooms, 2 in one room and 3 in the other. You are making the wise choice. Your family will be closer and better off for it.
1300 sq ft and 5 people? No problem! We had 6 people and 1060 sq ft and a pretty small yard(less than 1/4 acre). I loved it as it was quick to clean and keep decluttered. It didn’t take long to mow the yard and we still had time and $ to do lots of fun things. We also had lots of people assume that we would buy a house so that each of the 4 kids would have a bedroom. We eventually did move, but the kids still share bedrooms.
We bought the nicest property with the smallest home we could afford. Our 3 children lived outside, riding their pony, playing in the creek. The only time we were inside was to eat dinner in the Winter and sleep. Now we will be empty nester in 2 years. The fun they had living the country life was the best investment in their childhood. You can always have a bigger bedroom, but can’t replace a stay at home mom. Now our house is perfect size, cheap taxes, cheap insurance. So grateful we didn’t buy into the Trophy home mentality.
Good for you! We bought a 2 bedroom bungalow over 20 years ago, paid the mortgage off in 5 years, and then stayed there another 13 years and paid cash for our 3 bedroom, 2 bath, brick home. We had 4 children in our tiny home. But, Living debt free feels really, really good!
We bought our starter house a month before our wedding. It was the absolute ugliest house on a block in the amazing public school district we wanted and just a 30 minute train ride to the city for my job (I am the primary breadwinner/healthcare benefits obtainer). My husband worked as a contractor for many years and told me to find the worst house I could find that wouldn’t need a permit to fix. We moved in – no gutters, no shower, no insulation. A smoker had lived there her whole life. All the walls were nicotine covered. We had our bed in the dining room. We saved money and fixed a room ourselves, one by one. By the time I was pregnant with our first child our entire top floor had all new ceilings, floors, windows and walls. Just before I had the baby we had a shower! We kept saving money, doing a room over and over and my husband did the work himself. Fast forward 19 years. Our entire house is redone from basement on up. We have 3 bedrooms and 1 3/4 baths. We have new siding and we went solar last year. Our house is small. There is no walk in closet, no master bath,no formal dining room. My stockpile is tucked here, there and everywhere. But with our first son headed to college and our daughter a freshman in high school we won’t be going bigger at any time. Our mortgage is very manageable. My husband has stayed home with the kids for almost 5 years. The only move I foresee for us is to a one level ranch for our golden years! House Hunters is a dream for me, not a need and nothing I will ever get. It is worth it not having the debt.
I can relate to ALL of this! My husband and I were married at 23, still in our starter home, with a 16mo and another on the way. I left owning my own business to come home to my daughter, best decision we ever made as a family. We struggle with wanting something bigger, but it just isn’t feasibly realistic at this point. I have just chosen to save, save, save, be happy where I am and make it work! This post just gave me more confidence in our decision to stay put until moving is realistic! It’s nice to know there are other SAHM goings through the sam things too!
My husband (35) and I (34), in the last year, have made the same decision. We are staying in our starter home too. We decided our future goals to have financial freedom, retire early and travel didn’t match up with a bigger house and house payment. We want to keep it simple and as stress free as possible.
We will have it paid off and be debt free in 3 months! With every payment excitement grows. Thank you for the article. It made me smile!
2 years behind I would have said : we need to renovate the old part of the house, and I’d like a proper dressing, my office is too small to create I’d like an extension, the kids will want to have their own room, I wish I had an laundry room… I couldn’t stop. Then I said STOP, enjoy what you have, save some money. When the children will leave the house you’ll complain of having a big house to maintain.
My husband’s “starter” home was a large house with a large mortgage. I am a mostly SAHM and the mortgage is killing us. We are planning to sell and downsize ASAP. I wish we had done the reverse… And the worst part is, that due to the economy tanking in ’08, all the money we have put into the house is basically gone. Talk about a large home being a terrible investment.
I don’t know about where you live, but most of the homes in our greater area are selling at or above where they were before the crash again 🙂 hopefully you will be able to at least break even 🙂
As a mom of 6 in a “starter” home of 1,100 sq ft with no basement or garage, we have made the same choice for many of the same reasons. Yes, some days saying it’s “tight” is an overstatement, but we are close to each other, spend more time together, share more often, work together more often then many other families do. If life throws us a curve ball we can handle it because we are not carrying a heavy financial weight. Some days my husband and I dream of being able to cook together with out dancing around each others feet, kids and dogs or being able to fit a bed bigger then a full in our bedroom, but the truth is someday our children will grow up and leave the nest and our tiny little house will seem so big and empty so many ways but filled to the brim with memories of the things that mattered most….family.
The day will “soon” come when, like my husband and I,” you will want to downsize. The kids will be gone, you will retire and you’ll want to use your free time (and savings) on your golden years instead of cleaning and maintaining a large home. We just moved out of our 1300sf house into an even smaller one. Everything is paid off, low maintenance on what we own leaves plenty of free time and money to do whatever we want to do.
We were in a two bedroom when our 6th baby was born. We used two sets of bunk beds in one room and a crib between against another wall, the baby was in our room. A dresser was in the hall all other clothes were hung in the closet. The girls never had lots of clothes, they weren’t necessary. and they had few toys, what they had could fit under the bed or on it. There were so many other things to do that did not include toys! I think our society and other peoples opinions makes us think we need more space etc. Less IS more!!! You’re doing what’s right for your family.
Good for you being debt free! Have a great day!
LOVED this post as I could really relate. We bought our two bedroom townhouse even before we were married at 23 and 24 years old. We thought we’d be here 5 years and fast forward we’ve been here 10 and now have 3 kids. I also give credit to my modest house and mortgage payment for my ability to stay home with my kids. We’ve been able to remodel and add a third bedroom and don’t have plans of moving anytime soon, despite the questions we get. I too don’t want to be owned by my house, but would rather own it.
A great article that hits home. There are 6 of us in a 1500 SF home. The layout is horrible and its a few feet off a busy road. We didn’t think ahead when we bought it when we didn’t have any kids. The kids rooms cannot fit 2 beds and a dresser, the ceilings are too low for bunk beds. We are struggled for years on whether we should move to somewhere with more space for the kids to run and more space in their rooms. We have been really close a few times. But it always comes back to, we want to be debt free in 10 years and we want me to be able to stay home with the kids. It’s not worth doubling our mortgage price and time to have a bigger place. For us its better to stick with where we are and have our mortgage paid off by the time we are 45! We can jump in the car and go somewhere with lots of space with the extra money we save not being tied to a larger mortgage.
I wanted to add, that after we decided to stay, my husband built the kids beds that were kind of like a loft, not as tall as bunk beds but we could fit dressers underneath! Still no wall room for toys and shelves but it’s an improvement!
Unfortunately, it says a lot about our consumer culture that people wonder when you would move. My family of 4 lives in a house with an awkward layout and similar square footage. However, like you, I appreciate the closeness it forces on our family and the gift it gives me to stay home with my children. In the end of it all, the most important things are our memories that live on with those we love. Having less gives us so much more!
Love it! Thank you! Very helpful and just in time. We want bigger house but I’m not sure we really need one, so this blog post give me one good point of view.
love this! so encouraging too – we plan to be debt free within the next 18 months and are renting for now (which people also thought was crazy). I can see it would be easy for me already to get caught up in wanting the biggest house we can technically afford. The other things you spelled out that you prioritize over a big house are GREAT reminders for me!
Also – I totally know what you mean about being debt free and then taking out another mortgage. We aren’t debt free yet and I can already glimpse the freedom that will come with it. I don’t want to ever take out a mortgage, although I also don’t want to rent for 10 extra years to save up cash for a house. haha.
My 22 year old daughter is in the processing of buying her first home. It is a starter home as well. I loved your insight on everything you said. I totally agree. My husband and I are both 10-15 years from retirement and that our last child will leave…. sobs….. we have a 4 bedroom house and 1.5 baths. I have no desire to leave as it is home and my business is in my home as well. So what you are saying makes such sense to me. My daughter is very non-frilly kind of young lady and the idea of cleaning/and having to much stuff doesn’t appeal to her at all so its just perfect for her. I see her being in her home for many years. Thanks for your insight.
Don’t do it! Do not move! Before you know it the kids will be off to college or out and working and you and your husband will be looking at each other in a big house that you no longer need. Then you will want to downsize and buy again. Just stay where you are and eventually the house will suit you just fine and think of all the money you will save.
I completely agree here. If you need another bath or whatever add on. But as stated your kids, believe it or not will be gone like proof!! Then y’all can either remodel to suit a couple or sell and buy for a couple. Being out if debt is the biggest thing you can do for yourselves and for your kids!! Good for y’all for not falling into a money pit of debt just to have bigger!!!
Thank you for this practical, well thought out and refreshing post. In an era when it seems everyone wants more, more, more it is so healthy to hear your balanced perspective. I find that in the quest for material goods and wants, much is lost; especially precious time better spent investing in time with family. My goal for 2016 is to learn to be content with what I have and recognize that it is truly enough. After all I already have the most important treasures of all-my loving husband and daughter.
Good for you!!! I love that you didn’t let outside influences dictate your decisions! My husband and I did upgrade to a much larger home, except for our mortgage, we are also debt free. We pay cash for everything…..isn’t it wonderful to be “free”!!!
We planned to be a military family and when that fell through. My husband and I bought our own home. We had a family friend land contract it without interest, it was livable, but needed a lot of work. A starter, practice home was the idea. By the time our first daughter was born we had the house looking semi good and we paid it off completely. Now we are about to pay off ALL other debt. We are a family of 4 now and only have 2BR and 1BATH, but it works just fine. I just moved the youngest into the girls’ bedroom. I can’t see buying a new home and paying a house payment again!
I don’t know when we became a country that strived for every kid to have their own bedroom, bathroom, car, phone, etc then we complain because both parents have to work long hours and never home. Or I have worked with people who have very expensive homes but they are working tons of overtime to make the payments so they are never home to enjoy the home and they are so draining themselves. I’m now in my 50’s me and my husband recently sold everything moved across country to a one bedroom apartment to be close to family and I couldn’t be happier. I love that younger generations are starting to see smaller family homes are the way to go.
Just today I drove to look at a house much bigger than our house. It even had a pool. I took the 7 year old with me. Got to the house and sat in the car, but didn’t go in! Not even to look! I looked around and thought of all that we would be giving up. Kids switching schools was high up there. Our current home is very close to being paid. I think I’m going to like the cash flow and the freedom. On to Target we went…..
Good for you! We did the same thing and our girls are 14 & 16 and we are traveling and we are able to say yes more than no! We continue to remodel with all the extra money and make our home just how we want it. We even added another bedroom to our 1920’s home. Stick to debt free because now that our girls are older we realize they won’t be here forever and it will be plenty of room for us and we can live our dreams without being tied to a mortgage!
You can’t beat financial freedom. Too many people are living for their houses and not able to enjoy life. Kudos to you!
Better used for investing? You are investing in your house! Do these well meaning folk not understand money? Whatever your interest rate is over how many years you would have had left is actually a great ROI.
I love this comment thread! So respectful of people’s differing life situations! We all know it’s challenging enough to be the mom somedays, kudoes to all for lifting each other up.
I’d like to toss in my view on house size ‘needs’… We have 2 kids (4 people total) in 2000sf, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. Plenty of space to live, and we entertain all the time. BUT, we often wish, especially as most of our family lives out of town, that we had a guest room. Also, hobbies can be a real space gobbler! I do my sewing, quilting, art, and, scrapping in a corner of the playroom, which I share with my artist daughter. We’re a bit squished, and frankly, we’d love an art room to share.
However, love my little deadend street with its fabulous neighbors, nestled in this walkable ‘hood.
my husband and I stayed in our starter home, bought while in college, for 28 years. It allowed me to stay home, allowed our kids the opportunity to attend private Christian school for middle and high and to get them through college debt-free! It was tiny, barely 1000 sq feet but we had a lot of loving in that home. In fact, both our kids now married and in their 20’s, plan to have the gps coordinates tattooed on to their sides. It was tiny but special and we don’t regret a day of living there.
Congratulations! I think living debt free is such a worthy goal. You have so many more options than most because you aren’t tied to debt! Our goal is to someday be in your position as well. Way to keep your priorities straight.
Many years ago my starter home was a 2-family home. We rented out the downstairs half and lived in the smaller upstairs (2/1 with 2 young children AND I did home child care). That home was paid off in 5 years, thanks to the rent. Since then, the kids grew, we upgraded twice, got divorced, the kids went to college, I remarried, moved to Florida, and just bought our retirement home (even though that’s 20 years away). The last house that we owned was 2800 square feet. My new home is 1400. I love the size! It’s small enough and big enough. Don’t worry about trends or fads. Just do what’s right for you and your family. Easy enough. 🙂
DON’T MOVE!!!! You are coming to the point where you will be able to live below your means. That is a gift and sound economics. I know 2 very well off families who are well off because they still live in their first house. They did not get caught up in wants; so they have freedom. And, this is the exact house you will want once your kids have moved out on their own. DON’T MOVE!!!!
It’s ok to think outside the box too, though. You don’t have to stick with something you hate. Moving to a better suited space doesn’t necessarily mean more debt or the need for both partners to work. We traded our tiny home for a large fixer upper. It better met the needs of our family of 8 and cost $5,000 less. We are slowly doing the work ourselves with cash as we save it up. No regrets.
Instead of another home you may want to add on or add up instead. Reading your comments I think you are also thinking of the day when you have no children & a big house will give you alot of empty space. I had a started & was content with it & my small mtg only reason we left was for NO mtg via my parents home when they retired. It was more space better schools but more things to do & older things to go wrong (we had replaced everything in the other house). Now I turned that big house over to my daughter as my dad did to me & replaced some things for her & moved to a big one room house that my dad & I bought as his retirement home in his hometown in North Wisc. Im happy I got rid of stuff & less to worry about. Still have to get rid of some things in the big one but Im happy with all the left over furniture & stuff I have here.
I think you have wonderful insight. We have chosen to stay in our starter home when financially we could go bigger. One, it teaches our children how to be content and helps “set the bar” of expectation” when they start their own homes. Second, Hoping they too will see “less is more: when love fills the home. Third, As well, it has frees up $ to give and to be a blessing to others. My husband and myself have a tendency to “consume on ourselves” unless otherwise purposefully set ourselves to give. This has help us with focus of what we truly value. Fourth, Technically, it helped us when we solved a storage issue. In that we utilize our garage effectively by insulating it and building shelving to hold winter/summer clothing, bulk pantry items, decoration changes for the house etc. That way the house and closets themselves are never over crowded which alleviates frustrations.
I have 4 children, and raised three in my current home (the oldest had left for college by then). Over the years I added a den and a master suite. Even at 2400+ square feet, there were times when it just didn’t seem big enough…now the last one goes off to college this year and all of a sudden it is ENTIRELY too much house and yard! I tried to “downsize” this year, but it is really difficult to go from a large home to a much smaller one! I applaud your decision to stay in a smaller home. I realize NOW that I could have raise the kids in a much smaller home…had less “house debt” and expenses and been just as happy! Trust me…the next decade will FLY by and suddenly that little 1300 s.f. house will seem too large…but the financial gains you will have made will allow you to do so much! People my age grew up with multiple siblings in homes much smaller…we survived and thrived!
I think you have made a brilliant and meaningful decision. We as a nation put too much emphasis on “having it all” when in reality “having it all” means not having what is important. I salute you and wish that we had had your wisdom as young adults.
Good for you! I love reading these kinds of posts. We are in a similar-sized home, just a little less than 1300 square feet, with five kids (5 to almost 15) and also are making it work just fine. We moved here with 3 children from 800 square feet and it felt huge at the time. The 1.5 baths are also a challenge here at times, but I am thankful to at least have 2 toilets, lol!
We lived in ours until a job change forced us to move. We moved during the downturn so we were able to buy a forclosure for not much more of a monthly payment than our first home, but it is a new mortgage still the same! It did give us some more room and an open plan so that is nice, but it did give me more to clean and organize. You are smart to be content with what you have! A new 15-30 year mortgage is nothing to sneeze at!!
We decided to stay in our starter home for now as well. It was a tough decision when a lot of our friends are moving into newer, bigger, nicer homes it was difficult not to join them, but we weighed all the pros and cons and had to do what was best for our family in our particular situation. Everyone is different so saying one person should feel bad about living in a smaller/bigger/different-than-you home is pretty judgmental. (I’m referring to one of the comments above not the original post). Everyone’s wants, needs, financial comfort level is different. I for one, am excited to continue to update our current home now that we have decided to stay for sure. We are making it more our own. And our mortgage is never going to overwhelm us so we have that peace of mind if my husband or I lost a job or had some other financial issue come up. We don’t have tons of room to entertain family and friends but we are able to make it work. That is one downfall of a smaller home or at least one laid out the way ours is.
The first comment by Tamara is perfect. Rather than buy bigger and be an empty-nester later just stick it out. So many positive things from your decision. As DINKs Mrs. MBG and I make slightly different decisions. We move into a spacious 3/2/3car garage home in a few months. On the other hand my sister has a similar home to what you described with five young kids. She loves staying at home schooling. It’s your bacon, do what you want with it.
Great story! Yours are all good reasons to stay put. Congratulations on paying off your mortgage!
We bought our starter home when we got married. At the time, neither of us was secure in our job – I had a fixed 3-year contract and my hubby had the possibility of redundancy in his future (15 years later it’s a certainty, but still in his future…) so we made sure to buy something where we could afford the mortgage on a single salary. Like you, whenever we had spare cash we overpaid, and like you, we’re mortgage-free, which is wonderful!
Two children later, we built a large extension to add another bedroom and bathroom. Now we have 4 kids, 4 decent size bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms. The extension wasn’t cheap and we had to budget carefully, but we couldn’t have up-sized to anything equivalent in our town for the same money. Our starter-home has become our family home. I don’t think it will be our forever home (hubs’ redundancy will probably require a move across the country) but it’s been quite adequate for our needs. I do wish I had a bigger kitchen and a dishwasher, though!
I’ve lived in starter home for 22 years. I have 3 kids now ages 17, 15, & 12. It is true that at times I’ve wanted a larger house )1100 sq ft not including the finished basement. I changed my mind when a friend with larger house said to me “I haven’t been/seen/been by in my 10 year olds bedroom/bathroom in over a week. I like hearing all the noise in rooms. Walking by and knowing what is going on.etc.
especially during the teenage years.
Keep that in mind as you make decisions later on in having a bigger house. “Love grows best in small houses…”
In October of 2014, my husband and I were able to move into our home after renting for nearly 9 years. By today’s standards, it is small being only 1300 sf. This house has been the place I have told my husband for YEARS, if we ever have the opportunity to buy it, I want to get it. For years, my husband and I looked at homes… We got 100% financing (several years ago before banks stopped offering it). Every single time we found a house, something ALWAYS happened and prevented us from purchasing. FOR. NINE. YEARS. Fast forward to 2014, and I saw a sign in front of the house that it was for sale. I called about it and had to fight tooth and nail to get it due to the real estate company and the lawyer we dealt with, but bottom line… WE GOT IT! And I have to tell you, I truly feel like God blessed us immensely with our “tiny” house. To add to this story, this wasn’t just a random house I liked. My daddy built this house himself when I was a little girl and we lived here for many years. It got sold right after I graduated high school, but I was able to get it back. My daughter sleeps in the room I grew up in. I cook meals in the kitchen that my Momma cooked in for so many years. It truly feels like I have come back home. This isn’t a starter home for me. This is forever. It isn’t as big as others’ homes, it isn’t as nice, etc,etc but it’s ours and I thank God for it.
I am still in my starter home. My husband had bought the home just before we got engaged. Our plan was to move before kids, since although we’re in a great neighborhood bordering a nice suburb, the small city we’re in has a horrible school system. First kid came earlier than planned and before we were in a position to move, but even with paying parochial school tuition, we were still coming out ahead with our lower tax rate compared to surrounding towns with better schools. So we stayed, even after the second kid. Even with two small bedrooms and one TINY bathroom.
The positives definitely outweigh the negatives for me. We have a nice sized yard and a park with ballfields right behind the house. A smaller house means less to clean, especially now that our decluttering efforts are starting to pay off. I think the kids spend more time with each other and with me than if we had a much bigger house. I can call out to them from any room and know they’ll be able to hear me.
My husband passed away when my youngest was four. I can’t imagine if I’d had to manage a larger, more expensive house on my own with the kids. I also wouldn’t have been able to afford to freelance and keep such a flexible schedule like I have.
People have asked for years why I don’t move or build an addition on the house, but that’s just not the priority for me. I just don’t need all of that space to fill with a bunch of things I don’t need. I grew up in the second floor apartment of a duplex my parents owned. I didn’t have my own room until I was in high school and my sisters got married. Most of my life, there were three of us in that bedroom.
When my kids are grown, I’m sure they’ll remember all the good times we had in our home, and all the experiences we had and things we were able to do because I wasn’t spending all of my time working to afford a bigger house.
I’ve read the article and comments,and I have to say,I’m very surprised to hear many are content with their smaller homes..And that they don’t feel like “smaller” is a bad word…I noticed that most of the houses are small by today’s standards – 1500 sq. ft. or less,but that many prefer the cozier size…I lived in a 624 sq. ft,2 bedroom,1 bath apartment for 5 years with daughter & her hubby,moved to a 900 sq. ft. 2 bedroom,1 bath apartment,where 2 grand kids were born,and 5 of us lived there for 7 years until we decided the kids deserved their own room and a backyard to play in.(they slept on bunkbeds put up in my room because it was the biggest – but still tiny walking paths only!!) We recently moved into a 1256 sq. ft. 60 year house on 1.5 acres with a 2 car garage,in a nice neighborhood.4 bedrooms,1 bath,full unfinished basement,a deck off the kitchen overlooking the treed back yard and what I consider a huge kitchen (14 x 20 ft) with a dining area,compared to the 8 x 10 galley kitchen I had in one place,and the 10 x10 box in the other which actually felt smaller because the dining set took up one corner,and lots of cabinets!! (I thought I was in kitchen heaven..!!!) I have more windows in this house than the other two combined. I finally have a bathroom with a window again,after 12 years of “cave” bathrooms.And my washer & dryer are at home in th basement where they should be,not in my bedroom walk in closet where they once resided (Yes,someone actually installed a w & d hookup in a clothes closet,with no dryer exhaust to the outside) We’re renting for the first year,but my son in law says it felt like home from the beginning and he wants to buy it and stay forever. The kids are happy,mom & dad are happy,and grandma’s happy, and even though the square footage doesn’t say it is,to us it’s a big house…The kids say it feels like a castle…It’s great to see that many don’t mind a smaller house…Large or small,that cozy feeling of “Home” is what you make it…Isn’t that all that really matters..?
I grew up in a 1200 sq ft home. There were 6 of us. My parents finished off the basement to have that flex space and are now very glad they have just the ‘little’ home since it’s just the 2 of them. Even if you outgrow what you have, you may just want to tweek what’s there instead of buying and upgrade. Or not ;).
Thanks for a great post on being content with what you have and where you are!
I love your story and it brings tears to my eyes. We (family of 6) lived in a 1500 sq ft house for 10 years, we loved our little house but really felt the need for a larger one, we wanted a garage too. Our oldest 2 daughters were approaching the teen years, longer showers and more time in the bathroom…..we have now lived in our 3500 sq ft house for 6 years and we do love the space and room we have when friends and family are over but when it’s just us at home I miss the closeness we used to share. We have stuck to only 1 TV in the house for this reason. Our oldest daughter really misses the old house and so do I. More to clean, repair and organize in the larger one. God blessed us with a larger house at a great price, but as the kids are starting to prepare to leave home, I don’t feel I need as much space as we have. Hopefully we will fill it with grandkids visiting!
Great post!! How many 30 year olds can say they own their own home and are debt free. Congrats! The key word to me is freedom— free of debt, free of the financial worrries that debt brings with it. Finally as an environmentalist, I say thank you for your part in living smaller and helping our beautiful earth and saving its resources.
My husband and I bought our home less than a year after we married. We were young and didn’t even have a down payment saved. The bank was willing to loan us over $200,000, but we knew that I could never stay home to raise our future children with that much debt. We bought a 1200 or so square foot home for $112,000 and decided that it would not be our “starter home.” It would be our forever home. This was confirmed about a year later when a work friend with grown children visited our home. She made the comment that our home reminded her of the house she and her husband shared when they were first married. She went on to say that she believes they never would have divorced if they had stayed in that house. But they had to have bigger and better, and their financial pressures turned into marital problems. I love my {small} home! Contentment is a gift!
This is awesome! Living in your starter home means keeping all the wonderful memories and just like you said, it doesn’t own you. That is very important point as you don’t want to become a slave of your own home. Great story 🙂
We are in such a similar spot it’s scary, except for having our house paid off- we are nowhere close because we came into some medical issues that took my husband out of work for more than 6 months. We lived on credit cards as I am a SAHM. We are instead working to pay off those debts. However, our house is around 1300 sf, its layout is awkward and doesn’t really fit well anymore, but we are making it work for the time being. I am decorator/housekeeping deficient. When other family members are moving on to bigger and better, it is sometimes hard not to be jealous, but we are working instead at being content where we are and with what we have.
I have dear friends who have 6 children in about 1300sf. It’s totally doable! I knew a family in NYC who had 6 children in 600sf. Makes 1300sf seem gluttonous!
Just like many other things in life, the key is to determine what is important to you and your family and then be content with your decisions. It looks like you are doing that with your home.
We bought what many would consider a starter home in an area filled with mini-mansions, but our place is cozy and the perfect size for our family of four. I prefer to have fewer possessions, and a smaller house provides built-in accountability for that. 🙂
Our home is 1388 sq ft. It is also a “starter” home. We would have liked to have found something perhaps a little larger at a higher elevation but nothing fit the budget. We bought just before the interest rates rose again. So here we are. Maybe at some point we will win the lotto and “upgrade” but if not, this is where we will stay. The last house we rented before we bought was 100 years old and barely 1000 sq ft, so this home feels like a McMansion in comparison.
Smart, smart, smart…In the end, you’re not taking any of it with you. Realistically the Duggars couldn’t live in your house but since your article wasn’t about anyone else but your family then keep smiling and counting your blessings!
Oh I love your post so much!! I feel like we are kindred spirits – we live in a 1400 sq. ft. home {built in the 1940’s so it’s definitely lacking on storage} with 3 children and have no plans to upgrade unless our financial position changes drastically and we can pay cash or also have a really low mortgage. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me that there are others in our similar situation! 🙂
My family of 4 live in a 1500 3 bedroom 2 bath house. It has a great layout and I LOVE it. Sometimes, I do get house envy when I visit someone with a larger house. I think we all choose what is important to us. For us is to travel and have new experiences / memories with our children. We worked it out that we have two sofa beds for any guests, we also entertain on occasion and it has been fine. The trick for us has been dual function furniture pieces and purging of items that we don’t love. Our mortgage is manageable and gives us the freedom to do this. However, I see nothing wrong with families with large homes. If that makes you happy the do it.
We went from a two bedroom home to a three bedroom, 2 1/2 bath for double the price. (We had a boy and a girl so three bedrooms was a must.) Now, that we’re at the point we could upgrade again, we’re waiting for the second one to finish school so we can downsize to a condo. No more big mortgage, maintenance, etc. We want to be financially able to afford our retirement! Still a few years off but we want to save more money and a small or nonexistent mortgage is a great way!
Great post! Knowing your priorities is so important. Once we decided why we were being frugal, it was so much easier to do!
Thank you for the very encouraging article! We are also in our first home. We are not near paying it off, but I see the value in that (very lofty!) goal. Thank you for sharing your story. It is inspiring!
Love your article. We just had our first baby in our 1100 sq ft starter home, and we’re not moving any time soon, especially since it’s paid off!
Love this article! We live happily in our 900 SF ranch with two kids and a dog. Staying in our “starter house” has allowed me to be a stay at home mom as well. Sometimes I wish we had more room for active play and sometimes it makes naptimes difficult, but overall it’s much easier to clean and helps us keep our possessions at a minimum. Thank you for the reminder of all the benefits of a smaller home when most people just see the downside.
We raised three sons in approximately 1550 sq. feet (including garage). We bought it in 1976 for $54K. We sold it in 2008 for $680K and moved from California to retire in Colorado where we bought a 3800 square foot home (plus huge garage) on 1.25 acres for $315K. So we did with less, but retired where we wanted to live in a home we never dreamed we could have… And there’s room for kids and grandchildren to visit and even have a place to sleep!
I think paying off your mortgage was a great decision. We did the same thing a couple of years ago, and it is a great feeling.
Thank you for this wonderful post! I really appreciate your thankfulness and contentment for where God has you. This is what’s most important.
We too are still in our five-year-home seven years later. We have just over 1200 sf and four kiddos. We are blessed with a full basement which my husband has been finishing this year. Almost done! So that will double our square footage. But I do have a pocket sized kitchen! I always have to remember to be thankful that means less kitchen to clean. And also, the quality and healthfulness of our food does not depend on the size of my kitchen.
We may move someday, but for now, I’m very thankful for where God has us!
Love this post! We are all about debt-free living and would love to pay for a house cash. We are debt free now and thankful. God will work out the details. Congrats on your upcoming baby number 3. Really enjoyed your blog as I checked it out today. I’m starting out in the blog world too. You look like you are doing well. Blessings!
I thought maybe I wrote this article, until I noticed the third baby :). We too had thought we’d stay in our starter home when we built it over twenty years ago. To deal with the lack of space and only one bathroom we had a contractor come in and finish out basement a few years ago
As a society, the push has been bigger is better. I can’t begin to tell you how many times co-workers, family and even blog readers have commented on how small our house is and that they could never live in anything so small (our house is 1100 feet).
I think posts like this (as well as my comment) isn’t a dig at at anyone else’s choices. It’s just that, we have to make choices about what is most important for our specific families. Now that my kids are out of high school our house is more than big enough and we can afford a trip to Italy to celebrate our anniversary. If we would have bought the big beautiful house we wanted to back in 2008 (which would have doubled our mortgage payment and increased our taxes) we would not have been able to afford the trip. We chose to stay put so that we could afford to travel. It can be difficult when you see all these big, beautiful houses that others have. It’s just that everything has a trade off and it’s important to be content with what you have.
Thanks for sharing!
And depending on your location much harder hit by the housing crisis
I so get you. Our house is tiny and at times we’d like a larger one. But a bigger house would be wasted on us because neither my husband nor I are into home decor and neither of us likes to clean. We like to be outside, playing or gardening.
I love this! We also are planning to stay in our small home. While there are times more space seems like it would be nice (we homeschool, and both my husband and I work from home), we’re working to continue to work to make this space meet our needs.
Each week I’m writing about our simplification efforts (of stuff, space, and lifestyle) here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/simplify-saturday/
You are wise beyond your years.
It thrills my heart that you are understanding what’s important – I have 3 kids, almost all grown, 31, 28, 18 and we haven’t had much ever, but we are a close, happy family and we are out of debt except for our house and we’re working on that. Keep those values, girl!
*Disclaimer: this comment is not particularly directed at this specific article but more to these types of articles in general.
I have grown weary of the countless articles flooding my inbox, Pinterest feed and other social media outlets about how having a smaller home is the ideal, lofty goal of a good, dutiful, even Christian mom. I feel a twinge of unnecessary guilt every time I read (nowadays skim) these articles, as if having a larger home somehow makes me less of a mom because I’m “greedy” or “like my space.” As if somehow, I’m not as close to my children or even love them less because of the square footage of my home. Our house is 2400 square feet with 2 adults, 4 children and 2 dogs. Now that you’ve recovered from gasping for air 😉 I want to share why I do have a desire for a (brace yourself), yes, larger home.
My desire for a larger home is not to put more space between myself and my children or have more place for my “stuff.” No, my hope and dream is to have a place where I can comfortably invite people into my home, to create a place where friends and family want to visit and stay for the weekend, to have fellowship. My 4 children share a room so that we can have a guest room always open for anyone who might want or need a place to stay. I want to have open doors, a place where people want to come and where they want to return to. I too stay at home with our kids and I’m beyond blessed to have such a home. But I tire of these articles of moms who portray other moms like myself as pretentious, non-sacrificial, and yes even less of a loving mother because we choose to live in a larger house.
We are all moms. Bottom line. It’s a hard job with a small house or with a big house. Let’s encourage each other and celebrate what we do have in common instead of trying to elevate ourselves above one another because of what we do or do not have.
I missed the part calling anyone pretentious or non sacrifical. I think it’s more that our society pushes the bigger houses and more of everything that sometimes those of us living in smaller houses are encouraged by the reminders that it’s not all drawbacks living in a smaller house. Good for you having a bigger home and hosting people. I wish we could have people stay the night but it’s very difficult with 1 bathroom. But I’m working at contentment and I appreciate reminders that 1 bathroom means 1 bathroom to clean and I don’t need to take offense if you celebrate the positives of your situation that I don’t have.
I like this comment. I understand both sides.
For the most part I agree with you. These posts everywhere are wearying me, too. We did live in our starter home well past when we had 5 children but at 1400 sq feet and with teens it became a ridiculously tight situation. We own a large home on 2 1/2 acres free and clear. Our kids are grown but we are now a family of 16 and still growing. I would not want our family to feel that they cannot all come home at once because there is not room for them all. When the kids are grown you can afford to hire help to maintain the big house! The utility bill drops way down because only two people live here and teens are not draining the hot water heater every time they turn on the shower! 🙂
Thank you! I was really feeling in the dumps. I need to remain thankful for our larger home as we worked hard for it, God blessed us with it, and we will hopefully have lots of grandbabies and family over! I do like not having to share a bathroom with guests anymore, although all the kids still come to mom & dads bathroom. 🙂 Makes me smile when they do, it’s fun getting ready together. (hair & makeup) not to offend anyone.
🙂 I hope you have lots of grandchildren to enjoy visiting your home. I decorated a room just for the grandchildren and put their toys on shelves in the closet. We brought back out the crib and toddler bed and enjoy seeing them used again. They love having their own room at Nana’s house!
I see both sides of this too. What I took away from this particular article was more being aware of the difference between “wants” and “needs” and not upgrading to a bigger, fancier house based on the former if it’s not financially wise. There are many things about our house that I wish were different, if I let myself spend a lot of time thinking about it, but the bottom line is the cost of either remodeling our space or buying a bigger house in our neighborhood isn’t worth making the change.
We have a somewhat small house, 1200 square feet, built in 1920 so the way it’s set up is sometimes challenging for today’s world. But with 4 people we’re able to make the space work for us. While the thought of cleaning a 2400 sq foot house makes me twitch I also can’t imagine living in our space with six people and a dog! 😉 While I love seeing how people make truly tiny houses work I know it wouldn’t work for me. Not because I want to cram my house with stuff but because I’ve grown to appreciate empty spaces in my home rather than every square inch needing to serve a purpose. But that’s just where I am right now.
Thank you!! I have 2 children under 2 & we just moved from our 1295sq ft starter home to a 2110 sq ft house with a pool! Yes our mortgage is higher but I LOVE having the extra space to entertain!!
Sarah, I think a 2400 square foot house for a family of 6 is very reasonable! And even if you had a house twice that size, so what? As long as you’re fiscally responsible and making family time a priority, there’s nothing wrong with it. My family is a family of three living in a 1200 square foot house, and I would love to have a bigger home! The only reason I don’t is that it would require going into debt or working more than my current 15 hours/week. Being home for my son is more important to me than having a bigger house, so we’re making due. But if money were no object, believe me I would love an extra bedroom or two!
I absolutely agree with you. But I must admit that the pressure typically is from friends and family pressuring loved ones to get a bigger house and not a smaller one. We should all live and let live, in whatever size house one chooses to live.
We should all tell the critics “when you start helping me to pay this mortgage, then I’ll take your opinion about the size of my house into consideration.” Seriously, people.
I also own a smaller house with the mortgage paid off, but to each his/her own.
I find the “small house living” phenomenon interesting. I enjoy the articles, love looking at pictures of such houses, and my husband and I have watched many Youtube videos and documentaries on people living in small spaces. I agree that it is all over the place right now and if it’s something that annoys you then I can totally see why it would be…well, annoying! Having said that, I’ve never felt like the authors were looking down at me for making other choices. I see it as “This is what we can afford and this is how I make it work. I choose to be content with what we have” – which is definitely the thought I think this author was conveying.
We are in the process of building our “dream home”. We’ll have four bedrooms and three bathrooms for three people – yeah, sounds kinda ridiculous but like you, I want to always be open to family and friends and honestly, I just like having the space. I’m a stay at home Mom – we can easily afford all of this on my husband’s income – none of that makes me a better or worse Mom and I don’t ever let people who live differently make me feel guilty! You be you 🙂
I really love reading stories about other people becoming completely debt free. We accomplished being completely debt free when I was 26 years old. After becoming debt free, we continued to live the same lifestyle. Seven years later when I was 33, we built a much bigger home and we paid cash. Each family has a different story and different goals. We homeschool and also wanted more space to entertain.
My problem is….. we have a large, beautiful, newer home. I am very thankful for it. HOWEVER, we have lots of friends and family who are struggling financially and I am constantly feeling “guilty” over our nice home. At times, I avoid having company over because of my feelings of guilt! Any advice for me?
If you’ve worked hard and purchased responsibly you have no reason to feel guilty, nor should you avoid having people over if you enjoy entertaining. We have lived in a small home (1200 sf) for 33 years because of poor financial planning and have often struggled financially as well. I love going to my friends’ larger homes and, though I may be just a little envious at times, I am happy for them and appreciate their hospitality. Anyone who feels differently isn’t much of a friend.
If you can afford a large home then you should enjoy the blessing, but I took this as encouraging those of us who do not have the means to afford a larger home to find contentment in the situation God has placed us in. We also assumed when we purchased our home 18 years ago that we would build within a few years and I spent years feeling discontent and ungrateful for the inconveniences of my small home. I can relate to much of what the author wrote and for me it’s not about whether a small home or a large home is better, it’s about finding the good in whatever God has blessed you with and focusing on that. I now LOVE my small home for all the reasons listed but if our finances suddenly changed we would not hesitate to seek out the home of our dreams.
I thought we were the only ones to decide to stay in our starter home! Also 1300 sq ft, on 2.5 acres though. Also paid off. 2 yrs ago when looking for a larger hme and not finding what we wanted where we wanted, we decided to stay in our starter home. Oh how I wish my washer and dryer weren’t in the garage and for larger bathrooms and for our front door to NOT open straight into the living area, but we have no mortgage! And we live on a cul de sac! And we have the spare cash now to fix up this house (new hardwood floors, wood doors, new carpet, etc). I am actually embracing small house living….in the midst of the mansions (literally) around us. You should see my electric bill. 🙂
I agree, before you and I know it, our homes will be the right size again. No downsizing needed.
The nights are long sometimes but the years are sooo short.
Thank you for reminder. For me, working is a priority, but that means doing work I care about that involves reasonable hours, not chaining myself to a job just for the money. (I know I am incredibly lucky to have that choice.) I was just lamenting some so-called problems with my own “starter” house. But trading up would entail a lot more debt, and/or staying in a job that drains my energy and pollutes family time. Of course different people will have different situations, but thank you for reminding me of my own priorities.
One more thing to keep I mind is that the bigger the kids get, the smaller their toys get and there are fewer of them. Your space suddenly seems a little bigger. Great job on keeping your priorities in order.
Thank you, Tara…and you are right! My husband and I always talk about how we had empty rooms to use for junk storage before kids were in the picture. Now I am glad that we utilize all of our space!
Absolutely! Once the kids are out of the toddler years and the big toys go out the door the amount of space that opens up is huge!
Before you know it they will be grown and gone, and the house will still be the right size! 🙂
True, Tamara! Thank you for the reminder!
I often think of the novels I have read that detailed life for a family of four+ in a 1 room cabin… I figure if they can manage that, 3 beds and 1.5 baths is certainly manageable.
Sorry, was meant for the general thread.