I saw this question on Facebook earlier today and really pondered it for awhile. What would your answer be?
Mine would be: You’re enough.
Stop chasing after people-pleasing, perfectionism, and performing. Just be you. Be all that God called you to be. Exercise your gifts and talents. Don’t wish you were her or try to be her. Learn from her. Be inspired by her. But don’t compare yourself to her.
Because you’re not her. You’re you. Embrace your talents and passions. Own the gifts you’ve been given. The world needs your gifts, your skills, and your talents. The world needs you.
Your turn. I’d love to hear what your two words (or four words — or however many words you need!) in the comments!
Deb says
Go and knock on his door.
Nichole says
Crystal,
Do you have any books recommendations that have helped you in your journey of believing you’re enough.
Crystal Paine says
I’d highly, highly recommend Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I also loved The Confident Heart by Renee Swope.
Tyla Milian says
Be grateful
Jennie Lamb says
Be kind.
Sarah Zimmern says
DON’T SETTLE!!!
Lori says
“Don’t give up on God”, “You are beautiful” & “It wasn’t anything you did.”
I grew up in a VERY dysfunctional christian family (my dad was a minister), and was molested as a child by a family member which destroyed me. I turned away from God as a teen and have refused to attend church regularly ever since (I’m 40).
I’ve always felt dirty, ugly and worthless, which led me to get involved in destructive relationships, that only made it worse. I started putting on weigh as protection and have dealt with those consequences as well. I know it wasn’t my fault that I was molested, but I still cannot convince myself of it.
I need to go back to God but can’t find a way to humble myself. My heart has hardened. When I pray, it feels fake, like I’m reading a script. I hope I can find a way soon.
Crystal Paine says
I just prayed for you, Lori! I am so very, very sorry you’ve dealt with all of this! I just want you to know that God sees you as beautiful, just exactly as you are. He loves you and in His sight, you are valuable.
Crystal Paine says
Also, I’d like to send you a copy of Tam Hodge’s book, And Now I Choose. Can you email me your mailing address? crystal @ moneysavingmom.com
Lori says
Thank you, Crystal. I’ve emailed you my information.
And, I truly appreciate you taking the time to pray for me.
Dianna says
Dear Lori-
I said a prayer for you when I read your comment. If you haven’t listened to the song, “Who Says” by Selena Gomez, I think you should. My daughters have a version of it on a Kidz Bop CD, and I thought it was a very beautiful song. It basically says that everyone is beautiful, and that you should listen to yourself and not the haters out there. I know my daughters will have people in their lives that call them names etc., and I hope they realize that their worth is from within. For some reason, ever since I read your post a few days ago, I’ve been thinking about you and this song. Please know that you ARE worth it!!
Peace,
Dianna
Michelle says
Don’t Give Up. Not just 2 words, but I’d say all 3, and do say them to others!
Mary Poggemann says
Stay Grateful!
Lisa says
Love yourself
Jennifer says
It’s working. I wish it were more spiritual but I know it means that the decisions I made and the day to day choices to love God and others is working to bring me closer to a completed work in Him and for Him. And now on the cusp of 30, I see the start of some beautiful fruits from decisions and actions and even just faithful little things at 20.
lisa d says
Trust God and seek His advise before trying to create your own destiny
Aisha says
choose wisely.
Tina says
“Do you.”
I’ve spent my entire life trying to help people and live up to their insane expectations. I would have been much happier and less stressed if I had just cut those people loose and moved on.
Rachel Rusticus says
God directs.
Jennifer says
“Be yourself!”
Shelli Mader says
Stay out of debt! Don’t EVER use a credit card!!
Christal says
Mine would be: Love life!
Chris says
Be patient.
michele says
You’re worthy….or…don’t settle
Suzanne says
Lighten up!
Beth says
I feel so shallow after all the deep thinkers! Honestly, mine would be “pay attention”. I don’t have any problem with how things went for my younger self, but I would say that I let too many significant moments escape real reflection. When you’re young, you think there’s always another chance, and sometimes there just isn’t.
Lori says
As a mom of a teen and tween, the thing I’d most love to tell myself would be, “Be Present!” I regret the moments, days, weeks and years that I didn’t focus on enjoying my children when they were young. I was always busy working on chores and minutia and thinking of all the things I “had” to do, and I missed so much by not being mentally present!! Even though the younger years are hard, try to find the joy in each day with your kids! It passes quicker than you can imagine!!
3hearts1love says
Know God
Kathryn says
Just relax
Tammi says
Say no.
Melinda says
Keep going
Beth says
Mine would be “you can”. I used to have a number of negative people in my life that made me feel that I deserved to be treated the way that they treated me & that I wasn’t good enough to deserve respect. After I gave birth I started a journey of realizing that I CAN accomplish my goals & dreams. I CAN do hard things. I CAN overcome myself. I CAN stop being a pushover. And, I CAN force people to treat me differently or they can leave my life. My hubby was so accustomed to me being a wilted flower that, even though he is AMAZING & had pushed me to stand up for myself, even he took advantage of my self perceived weakness. He was so excited & proud the first time I told him “shut up & back off.” It became a really funny & adorable moment in our marriage.
Beulah says
Dear Beth,
Enjoyed reading your comment. I’m also in t same situation now. I lost confidence in myself and always find myself weighing lesser than everyone else. It was so encouraging to read your comment..
Beth says
Keep Growing! I started my 20’s feeling like I was an adult and didn’t expect much change…boy was I wrong (duh! of course we keep developing!). I had a twang of this same thought as I entered my 30’s and had to catch myself- I have a long way to go and a lot to learn!
I could also add: stop yelling, develop virtue, cut cable…
Winter says
Either “Trust God” or “Don’t Worry”.
Amanda says
I don’t think I could pick between “gets better” and “respect yourself”. Both would have been much needed during those tough years.
Shelley says
You’re Loved
Lizzy R says
Trust Him
Kelly Cox says
His time.
(As in Ecclesiastes…He makes all things beautiful in His time…)
BetsyD says
Love this.
Heather c says
Stop worrying!
Crystal this post makes me think of a song from the 90’s called “everybody’s free to wear sunscreen’ by Charly records group it was a commencement speech turned into a song and it’s basically all advice from your older self to your younger self. The older I get the more true everything in that song is. Give it a listen if you found this Facebook post intriguing :0) Its quite enlightening….
Julia says
Hang on. Because life hasn’t been easy but it’s getting better.
Whit says
RESPECT yourself.
Ashley P says
“Date Keith”
I wish I had started dating him sooner. Could have saved myself the torment of Nazi stalker ex.
Kimberly Crenshaw says
Seek God
Rebekah says
Eat less.
Alison says
College degree! 🙂
Anne-Marie says
“chill, girl!”
Gina says
Love righteousness. This is the biggest thing on my heart and mind lately.
sandra says
Don’t settle.
Nelly says
God’s all you need
Lisa L says
Be brave
kariane says
Trust yourself.
ruthie says
Humble yourself.
Barb says
God’s enough!
Des says
Amen!
BetsyD says
I was thinking the same! He is enough.
Ellie says
Mine would be:
Fight Fear
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Mine would be: Chill out. 🙂
Meegan says
“It’s not all about you!!”
(I still have to preach this to myself!)
Jennifer says
It’s OK
Tracy S. says
“Live fully” something I’m most definitely working on and trying to figure out what that is for me in this season.
Sally says
Give more.
Julie says
Pay Cash !! (ALWAYS)
Maya Andrews says
Save money. Or stay in shape.
Melissa says
Just jump! So of my most life-changing moments occurred when I’ve listened to my heart and what God has guided me towards, rather then over-thinking as I’m prone to do! I met my husband and got to know him more as his parents (who I already knew for a bit) invited me to stay for a long weekend at the bed and breakfast they managed. Unplanned pregnancy? I learned the joy of motherhood three times over. For someone who enjoys planning and knowing what comes next, these moments of trust and taking the leap have quickly gone from fearful to the most exciting and meaningful moments of who I am today.
Jan says
Be Satisfied!
Jen says
Don’t stress!
Beth says
BE SAVED. Had I known Jesus like I do now, everything would have been different. The “friends” I chose, the “boyfriends” who crushed my spirit and self-worth, the nights wasted away at “the club” . However I know I am forgiven now for all the wrongs i did. I would have been secure in knowing the right man would come from God to me and let it happen in its time instead of desperately searching in all the wrong places. Praise God for a marriage of 20 years and the five children the Lord somehow thought I deserved.
m says
Appreciate today.
None of us or our loved ones are promised tomorrow. We went through a season of death when I was a young woman and I wish I had spent more time appreciating my brother, my aunts and uncles, cousins and
my grandmother instead of working for , looking for tomorrow. If I would have known, I would have slowed down and appreciated the time I had. Appreciate today, its all we have until Messiah comes!
sharon says
“Jesus Christ”
I would love to have started my relationship with Him early on.
Ronni @ The Screenwriter's Wife says
Just Wait.
Kim says
God first…
If I only knew these two words years ago…Grateful that I do now! 🙂
Julie says
Boy, am I glad I decided to click through to the blog tonight instead of read this on my feed reader. I thought you hit mine dead on with “you’re enough” but I seriously just got a giant hug (and chuckle) from reading all the different answers from everyone. What perspective we can bring to each other. God has truly created us for community!
I would say “seek Christ”. So often I find myself distracted by the things that have to be done that I forget that the main purpose I was given life was to bring glory to God and nothing is as important as sitting at my Lord’s feet. I know Martha gets a bad rap, but Mary did have her priorities in place!
Kristy says
Seek Christ is exactly the phrase I was feeling but couldn’t find words to express!
As much as I appreciate my journey I wonder sometimes how much less heartache I’d have experienced if I had gone after Christ back then.
Still, He is my redeemer and I know that one who has been forgiven much loves much. So I choose to be thankful for my grief. I don’t know if I would have listened to my 2 word advice anyway! Ha!
Julie@frugallyblonde says
Hug More. As a teen we are often so standoffish about hugs and affection, but there are a couple people I wish I could give one more big hug to.
JOYce says
upward onward(in that order: heavenly minded precedes press on)
Heather says
Own it.
Jen says
Have faith.
Emily says
Be patient.
I have always wanted to rush through everything so I can mark it off my “Life’s to do list”. Just slow down and be patient; God has a plan for everything and his timing is far better than mine!
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Ellen says
Live fearlessly.
There’s many things I’ve held back doing, not using my creative gifts because I felt like I wasn’t “good” enough or that I didn’t have the time (while my very patient husband kept encouraging me to use my talents and push myself). This year I finally feel like I’m embracing the gifts God has given me and living like I’m supposed to be.
Cynthia Rose says
You are not defective.
I have discovered recently that I am a renaissance soul and a highly sensitive person. Knowing I was different, not broken would have helped so much.
Jennifer says
Smile more
Megan says
Don’t worry.
Megan says
Live simply.
I’m drowning in “stuff” right now…..clothes, toys, furniture, pictures, other people’s memories, clutter, etc. I want to let it go but it’s hard; would have been easier not to have accumulated it all b/c it’s hard to find the things that really bring me joy.
Also applies to those we surround ourselves with-a small community of people who really love and care for us is so much better than tons of “friends” who just care for you in the moment or look for what you can do for them.
Margery says
I really like that. I also struggle with other people’s memories and clutter, especially as the only child of an only child, and having the only grandchildren on both sides of the family. Enough stuff already! I can hardly give it away fast enough. Also, we just cleaned out my in-law’s two-story-plus-basement house. It was packed to the gills with stuff! So much work and so much waste.
Live simply indeed!
jill says
Be yourself!
Maureen says
“Dump him!”
Megan says
Ha!!
Jennifer says
🙂
Jessica says
“No drama.”
I think most girls and young women suffer greatly from “drama”, wherein everything is a problem. Everything is a big deal. And in turn, everything about life is draining and negative and exhausting. And you become a poisonous person – the kind no one wants to be around. Suddenly, you can’t see or hear or sense Christ, because your selfishness and obsession with yourself prevents you from standing before Him with a clean heart (Psalms 51.)
I wish I had given up on the drama – the made-up, over-the-top drama – so much sooner in my life. When I think of the years of happiness, humility, and peace that I lost! Thank God that He took my sins and refined me for His good. Thank God that I can see now how He was able to use my suffering for His Glory!
My precious little children will know better, Lord willing.
God bless you all.
Lauren @ Funky Monkey Children says
I think mine would be “Be You.”
I spent most of my teens/20s (I’m 29 now) comparing myself to others. This person has more money, is taller, prettier, more put together, a better wife, a better friend, blah blah blah.
At this point in my life, I think that there is a certain freedom in embracing who I am and the talents and goals and dreams that I have. These may not be the same as my friends. They may be in total contrast to those of my friends/peers. But that is ok. Because we are all individuals and we don’t HAVE to feel the same way about things or want the same things.
Also “Love Your Body”
I see sooo much body hate. Every time someone talks to me about weight/body image (which seems to be a lot…maybe because a hobby of mine is working out, so I seem to be open to talking about it?) all I can think is that no one is ever going to write on anyone’s gravestone “Here lies ____. She had an awesome body.” I want to DO things with my body – have babies, go hiking, enjoy the sunshine, whatever. As Glennon Melton writes on her blog – Your body is not your masterpiece. Your LIFE is.
Julie Chittock says
slow down.
I enjoyed life but I was impatient and rushed thru every phase so excited for the next!
Teresa says
You’re Loved. It’s been such a struggle to believe that. I suffer from severe depression at times and while I’m doing well now, I know it could come back at anytime.
Knowing that I am loved by many people is really important so that when I can’t feel it, I still believe it.
Laura says
Let go….
Amber says
YAHWEH is Sovereign.
Rachael says
“Stop hypocrisy.”
Jennifer says
Jesus saves!
Heather Barker says
Please yourself first, parents second!
Linda Horst says
Don’t worry.
(Because God is ALWAYS about redeeming things!)
Melissa says
Enjoy the moment!
Mona says
Dave Ramsey.
Seriously! So often I would get us started on paying off debt and then something would come up and I’d get derailed. If I had known about him 20 years ago, we would be in a much different place. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost my focus. 😉
Crystal Paine says
Such a great word here!
Christine says
NEVER get married!
Christine says
Oops, 2 words, Chris! NEVER marry!!!
lisa says
Enjoy everyday!
Sarah @ little bus on the prairie says
Avoid sugar.
Sarah @ little bus on the prairie says
Likewise, “wear sunscreen!”
Sarah says
Just Breathe.
Lindsey Swinborne says
My funny answer:
“Marry rich.” I am totally teasing because I love my godly, compassionate, servant hearted husband who isn’t wealthy, but if I had a maid, a cook, and a nanny and lots of money to spend life would be a little less physically taxing these day…
My serious answer (pun intended):
“Lighten up.” We used to be sooo serious, legalistic, and idealistic. We were the young people who knew how life was supposed to work and judged everyone else because they weren’t as committed as us. I am too embarrassed to even write down examples of what I judged other Christians for because it might start a comment war. I definitely didn’t understand grace and the fact that there are no perfect parents, perfect children, or perfect methods for being a Christian wife and mother. God has used the very difficult times to mold us both into more gracious people. We are in a church that breathes grace and emphasizes unity in the essentials and grace for the non-essentials. Ironically, my mom used to tell me this all the time as a young adult, so in a way, I did have an “older version of myself” telling me something I needed to hear.
Crystal Paine says
THIS. A thousand times over.
We’ve been on a similar journey and I cannot even express how much I GET this. I’m so grateful that you’ve found a church that breathes grace. God is good!
annie says
A tie between
Love Life & Be Kind
Courtney says
“Hang on!” (to God and my sanity!)
Pamela says
Be Brave
Nothing good ever comes from holding back, trying to disappear, or giving up on things you really want.
Anne says
Worry less.
Amy says
Either “Trust God” and “God loves you”. But really, I would have needed to hear both. 🙂
Jessica says
Life is beautiful!
Kelly says
“Yes, Lord!”
Davonne Parks says
Very thought provoking! I think mine would be, “Embrace Imperfection.”
Crystal Paine says
Oh, I LOVE that!