“Any tips for surviving having two littles? I have a 2 1/2 year-old and a 5-month-old and I’m struggling to keep on top of everything.” -A follower
1. Start Your Day with Jesus.
Even if it means listening to the Bible on audio while you push your kids in the stroller, begin your day relying upon the Lord and filling yourself up with His word. You can’t do this on your own; lean on Him.
I usually read a little bit of my current She Reads Truth study and write in my gratitude journal in the mornings either before the little ones get up or while they play nearby in the mornings. And then I pray over my day while walking on the treadmill (Kierstyn and Baby D play nearby while I do this or sometimes Jesse will have one of them out on errands with him or upstairs with him).
2. Create a Simple Routine.
Plan a few things to do in the same order every morning, after lunch, and in the evenings. This makes a world of difference in how my days run. Without a simple plan, I just run around putting out fires.
This could just look something like:
- Wake up
- Get Dressed
- Have Breakfast
- Quick Clean Up/Laundry
- Figure Out Dinner
- Go Out on a Walk
- Lunch Time
- Read Aloud
- Nap Time/Quiet Time
- Play Outside
- Toddler Watch a Show (Make Dinner)
- Quick Clean Up/Laundry
- Dinner Time
- Bath Time
- Bed Time
3. Simplify Wherever You Can.
How can you make things easier? What can you simplify and cut back on in this season of life?
Maybe you use paper plates, or stick with quick meals that use some pre-made ingredients, or use your crock pot or Instant Pot, or double any cooking you do to stick in the freezer.
4. Get Out of the House.
Even if it’s just to go on a walk or to the library, get out of the house. A change of scenery can do wonders for your sanity.
We will sometimes go out for a drive (not to go anywhere, though you could go through a drive-thru for a little treat!), just to change things up — especially if the little ones are being fussy.
I also love to meet a friend at the park to talk and walk our little ones in the strollers or to let them play at the park (a fenced in park is the best option!)
5. Have Daily Quiet Time.
Have an afternoon nap time/quiet time every day. This is time for you to put your feet up, eat some chocolate (or a healthy snack!), and do something to refresh your spirit.
If your 2 1/2 year old is no longer taking a nap, you could put together some tubs with special things to play with that your toddler only gets to play with during quiet time. Start with 10 minutes and gradually work up to 20 and then 30 and maybe all the way up to an hour.
When our older three were little, we had quiet time for quite a few years — even as the kids got older. I think it’s good for all of us to have a little quiet!
One other thought that might depend on your personality: don’t volunteer to work with kids the same age as your kids at church (or any other activity that you’re involved in). Volunteering can be a great way to regain some sanity but don’t take on too much responsibility. Sometimes people say, “You have young kids, don’t you want to volunteer for the toddler/preschool class?” Um, no. I spend 24/7 with my kids. I would like to spend time with someone else at church (although sometimes it’s nice to hide in the nursery when my baby is really young).
It’s ok to not volunteer much at all (especially for things that require prep outside of the activity) during this stage. But if you do volunteer pick something that will help you feel refreshed not further drained.
Realistic expectations are huge. If you are the only adult home during the day with your young kids don’t compare yourself to someone who’s husband works from home, or their mom lives next door, or they have an older (helpful) child or two. Also, if you’re an introvert or sensory sensitive, don’t compare yourself to your extrovert friend. Etc.
Quiet time is your friend. Enforce it strictly. Emotionally, hold it loosely ;). We have a quiet time but I have to watch my attitude if for some reason the baby decides not to sleep.
Make sure you get some time away from everyone. Even grocery shopping alone can be nice.
Personally, I find bath time to be messy and stressful. Especially if you actually want them to get cleaned. So we only do bath time twice a week for my 3 older kids (3-8yo) and once a week for the baby. It’s not that great for their skin to get the oils washed off daily. During the summer or on spaghetti night they’ll get extra baths :). My husband usually handles the baths for the older kids.
Hang out with other moms – including (especially?) ones that don’t have littles anymore. I’ve been repeatedly blessed by friends who say, “here, let me hold the baby for a while.” Or “I’ll help you carry your stuff to the car.” They get your overwhelm and are often happy to help. Younger single women or teens are often happy to bless you by helping with your kids too.
Such great advice here. Thank you for sharing!!
Share with the littles that mommy needs their help… to think about what they can do to help her (you). They might come up with some good ideas straight from their little hearts. They might love switching roles…
Such a great idea!
Love this! I had 3 boys 4 and under and I can agree. Couple things I would add….
– Set realistic expectations of yourself and your life at this stage. It is a STAGE; it does get so much easier. Keep things as simple as possible. Don’t try to do baby preschool and Pintrest crafts and a million enrichment activities. Read to them, have some cute educational type toys that they can play with if they want and call it good.
– In the same vein, I couldn’t get up before my babies woke up so never read my Bible in the mornings; I was way too tired. I would make tea, grab chocolate and read my Bible during their afternoon nap time. We did “nap” time until they were 5; they had to stay on/in their beds, but could play with any toys they wanted as long as they were on their bed. Very strict on this, but it just became part of our house culture. I never worked during rest time; that was my time to rest. I would do little clean up jobs around the house while they were in their high chairs having snack times.
Thank you so much for these great tips and practical advice!
Our pediatrician recommended we tend to the older child first in most situations because the older child is more aware. That will save on jealousy and resentment. Of course, you have to use your own judgement when not to follow that advice.
Thanks so much for mentioning that! I think it’s something very important to consider!