This week, instead of my usual Peek Into My Life This Past Week post, I just wanted to share some honest thoughts about what I learned from Jesse being gone for 13 days in Israel. It’s raw and honest, but I hope it might encourage some of you who maybe struggle with similar things…
Some of you have wondered why Jesse being gone was so hard for me. Honestly, I debated whether or not to share about this experience online. Because it’s easier to pretend that I’m more confident and capable than I really am.
The truth is: I’m way more introverted and insecure than most people would ever expect me to be. I almost always get anxious over making phone calls, driving to places I’ve never been to before, and talking to people I don’t know really well. I’ve pushed myself far, far outside of my comfort zone the past five years, but there are still plenty of “normal life things” that make me really nervous or cause me to feel like shutting down from anxiety.
I rely on Jesse a lot. Probably way too much. He’s the one who deals with coaches and teachers and doctors and repairmen and basically any situation where I’d have to make a phone call or interact with someone I don’t know well.
So I’d been dreading him being gone because I knew it would mean I’d have to put on my big girl pants and face a bunch of anxiety-inducing situations without him. Little did I know that my phone would get lost (or stolen?), our cars would break down, and I’d need to make lots of phone calls and interact with WAY more people as a result.
Did it scare me? Yes. Did I have a few minor panic attacks? Yes. But you guys… I’m so grateful for these past two weeks because I grew up as a result of them.
I drove all over Nashville. I made phone calls. I dealt with the AT&T people, the phone insurance company, our landlords, teachers, coaches, parents, doctors, repairmen, and all sorts of situations that were brand-new to me.
I got to rely on God, not my husband. And it was good for me. And I learned that, with God’s help, I’m much more capable & competent than I believed myself to be!
And I’m super excited that Jesse is HOME… as of 2 a.m. this morning! And I have crazy new appreciation and amazement for all the single parents, the military parents, and the parents whose spouses travel for work regularly. You all are all kinds of incredible and you inspire me.
Next week, I’ll be back to my regular Sunday Peek Into My Life This Week Post. Thanks for your patience with me these past two weeks as I haven’t been as present or consistent on the blog here. Sometimes, blogging takes a back burner to real life! 🙂
P.S. Need a laugh? Watch this video where my daughter professes her love for butter. I’m raising her right. 😉
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