Testimony from Jessica of The Abundant Wife
When my husband and I got married in 2005, we had $70,000 in student loan debt. We promptly bought a duplex with an 80/20 mortgage for $150,000 and a used truck for $18,000. We had barely been married a year, and we were already looking at $238,000 in debt!
Now fast forward six years. I have become a loyal follower of Dave Ramsey and Money Saving Mom®. Despite leaving my job to stay home and care for our two kids, we have paid off our truck and our two smaller student loans. Soon we will pay off the second mortgage on our home.
Today we owe less than $143,000. We have paid off $95,000 in debt!
It’s not always easy to live like no one else. Many people think we’re pretty weird. We cloth diaper our kids, and we got by for years without a dryer.
We haven’t had texting on our phones since 2007, and we sold our second car last year. We’ve never paid for cable, and we gave away our television. We rarely pay for “date nights” but instead spend time together at home after the kids have gone to bed.
We don’t buy paper towels, and our cupboards look bare because we make most of our meals from scratch, wasting very little. I get more excited about finding new strategies to save or make money than I do about new purchases.
Before my children were born, I would ask my mother if it hurt to deliver a baby. She would tell me, “Yes, but it’s pain with a purpose.”
Pain without a purpose feels meaningless and unending. When pain has a purpose, you know it is leading you toward your final goal.
When I feel hopeless about our debts, and wonder for the umpteenth time why we are doing the things we are doing, I look at our goals. And I look at how far we have come.
Paying off our debts is pain with a purpose. As Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, “Live like no one else now, so you can live like no one else later.”
When it comes to eliminating your debts and saving money, there are probably things that seem painful to you. Organizing, budgeting, couponing, taking on extra jobs, and making sacrifices can be a challenge.
Change is painful at times. No one said it would be easy. But remember, it’s pain with a purpose. Keep your eyes on your goals, and remind yourself how far you’ve come.
Jessica and her husband Brad left their teaching jobs in 2007 to enter full-time ministry. In six years of marriage they have lived in six different places, including China, Maryland, Minnesota, and now California. Jessica blogs at The Abundant Wife about family, faith, and finances.
Amie says
I love this post. It was perfect timing for me. My husband and I are finally getting on board with trying to be debt free. He had been so reluctant to doing a budget together and facing our debt. Once he agreed, we immediately paid off one credit card and he was thrilled to realize that he actually had more money than he thought because he’d been wasting it on small things. Then school started back (I’m a teacher) and I started at a new school and was “too busy” to pull spread sheets. I also knew I’d over-spent and didn’t really want to face it. We treated the kids to a concert at the end of summer, stocked up at Sam’s Club during their Open House and exceeded our budget. This was my first week of other splurges in a long time – $16 take out and about $7 of junk food and I don’t like it. I did menu plan from everything I’d stocked up on and I am under budget this week for groceries and I have left the “extra” money from snowballing in my account. Now, I just need to sit down with my husband and make some payments. I love that you call it pain with a purpose because my husband and I want a third child and we need to feel the pain now if we want to be ready financially.
Amanda says
Thank you for sharing. Sometimes reading the stories on here and I feel like I’m in a much deeper hole than them (ie them being 5,000 in dept). Your story give me hope. My husband and I graduated from school, i have 14,000 and he has a 11,000 in loans. I thought this was manageable. Then we just found out a few months ago that my father-in-law took out another loan in my husbands name for 30,000. He didn’t tell us about the loan and we found out via our credit report. Now that loan is 2 years past due. In the military (which my husband is) if you have past due balance, you can be kicked out. My father-in-law refuses to pay for it (and we can’t let if effect my husbands career). So we had to pay the late fees in order to save his job. So that’s 5,000 out of pocket in one sitting. So now we have $52,000 in dept. I am excited to go and see your blog. Food is our most challenging task for us , you said you cook mostly scratch, I think I am going to give that a try. Thanks for the inspiration.
Emily says
I work at a bank, and while most of the time you cannot have the loan removed from your husband’s name unless you file charges against your father-in-law, this is a case where you may not be required to. The bank (or credit union or wherever the loan was granted) did not do its due diligence in ensuring that all parties on the note wanted the loan. Essentially, it was the bank’s fault in this case. Now, there are other situations where you would have to file charges because the bank did not have a part in the fraud, such as when a family member steals your debit card, but I think you would be able to make a case without filing charges, which it appears like you do not want to do for family-purposes or I’m sure you would have. 🙂 Best of luck to you. I think too often our family doesn’t see the harm they can do to us with financial information, and I think in most cases, the family member is desperate for financial help. Definitely doesn’t excuse the person, but I believe it’s the reason behind it.
Katie says
Thank you so much for posting this!! It came at just the right time 🙂 Hubby and I are currently working to pay off my debt. When we got married a few months ago, he was completely debt free (thank God!) I, however, have a car loan and 2 large student loans. Once we got married and had 2 incomes, we started attacking my loans. Car is almost paid off, but the student loans will take a while. I have to give God the glory for helping me with my debt problems (even before I met hubby). At one point in my life, I had around 20ish credit cards (ALL with balances). I didn’t really know how to control myself when it came to shopping. Those were all paid off April 2010 and I have not used a credit card since. In fact, I don’t even have any! I have learned to save, but most importantly, I have learned to give. It’s hard to be a giver when you are trapped under the chains of debt. We are now working on my student loans very diligently, and I am so thankful we are on our way to being debt free!
Lydia (Thrifty, Frugal Mom) says
I just wanted to say thank you for this post- I was inspired! As of November we are now debt-free and it’s easy to want to bump our standard of living up a couple of notches now but we are determined not to do that…..for various reasons (a couple being so we can give more and also so we can save up to pay cash for a bigger house when we outgrow this one). The thing about doing without things that others consider necessities can feel kind of lonely and I was blessed and motivated reading about how you are doing that. (We don’t have texting either and everyone thinks we are living in the dark ages!) Again, thank you and many blessings!
KimH says
Yes, but it’s pain with a purpose.”
What a wonderful phrase!! Your mama is a genius! 🙂 I plan to use that phrase… its Perfect!!
Joanna says
Yay for no dryer, even when cloth diapering. Why pay so much for something that a hanger and some air can do for free? Dryers are the biggest luxury that our culture views as a necessity. Just look at the rest of the world.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
I have to thank my husband for that! He does all of our laundry–washing, hanging, and folding all of it. I’m so glad to have him on my team. I couldn’t do it without him! 🙂
You are right about dryers. We didn’t have one when we lived in China for 2 years, and the Chinese didn’t even seem to know what they were. We got used to hanging all of our laundry, so that when we returned to the States, we just kept doing it that way. We have a dryer now, but it sits idle for most of the year.
Tabitha says
Very encouraging testimony! We recently framed our 3×5 card that has all of the debt amounts we’ve paid off. We have one left and seeing that card in our office reminds me how had we’ve worked to get there. It’s a great feeling! I can’t wait for the day we can call Dave Ramsey to shout, “We’re debt freeeee!”
Keep up the great work Jessica and all of you who are working hard to pay off all your debt or saving for your dreams, they are coming sooner then you think! 🙂
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
I keep our current debts pinned to the cork board over my desk, but I save all of our past ones too, because it makes me feel good to see how far we’ve come. Thanks for your encouragement, and keep up the good work!
Tonya says
This was exactly how we felt when we were paying down our debt. Never been more happy to get to that $0 debt mark! We have now chosen to be a little more liberal with our money spending it on fun stuff, but only after we’ve fulfilled our other budgeting and saving requirements in full. What fun money is left over at the end of the month just gets dispersed back into our different savings & investment accounts that serve different purposes and we end each month with a $0 balance in our checking account so that each month we only have exactly what my husband makes from his paychecks on the 1st & 15th of the month. When you hit that $0 mark, you will feel how amazing it is for every ounce of pain to have been worth it.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Congratulations on being debt-free!
A Mom says
Speaking of cell phones, we have the same cell package (grandfathered in) from like 2002 or so with basic phones and no texting/web options. We have no house phone and no cable. We rarely use our cell phones so we have been thinking about canceling those since our contract is up and move to just a prepaid phone for emergencies while driving.
Sarabell says
What an AWESOME way to look at it (both paying off debt and having babies), pain with a purpose. I love it!
My husband and I have around $15,000 in debt (which we’ve gotten down to after two years of hard work and “going without”) and at times even that seems impossible… but look at how far she’s come! If she can do it, we can do it!
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
“You can do it!” Great work!
Amanda says
Wow what an inspiring story! I really love this. “Pain with a purpose”…I’m gonna remember that one.
Thanks for sharing
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Thanks! I’ll tell my mom you liked her words. 🙂
Charity says
I don’t like you! Just kidding 😉 but how on earth did you look that incredible after giving birth?? I’m expecting my fifth baby and let me tell you, the way I look after birth would make a train take a dirt road!
Love this post, very encouraging!!
Jolene says
Ha Ha, that is so funny! That sums up how I feel after delivery also!!
Amber says
Ha ha! Me too! :0)
Deb says
I noticed the jeans, great job! Funny, we didn’t even get cell phones WITHOUT texting until 2007 and only got texting last year……..I will not deny that cell phones and texting are still a luxury, but with three teens out and about I really am thankful that we have it.
Jessica says
Thank you for your story! Ours is along a similar vein.
I graduated from college with $14k in student loans and paid them off during my grace period. Then I got married. DH didn’t have loans but also had no money and no job. I quit my job to go to grad school. DH also had a car loan. He found (crappy, underemployment) work and after a year he moved into a somewhat better, salaried position. Meanwhile, I got a fellowship that paid for my last 3 quarters of work on my Masters degree. I also had a paid internship for 6 months and I got a fulltime job immediately after graduation.
Four months after I completed my masters degree, we bought our home so we took on a $119k mortgage (we put 20% down). I did have a $6k loan for my first quarter of study. We paid those debts off aggressively, even paid cash for a new to us car during that period. We paid off that mortgage in 6.5 years. We’ve been debt free for 2 years now. We just bought a second vehicle for cash also. In addition, we had to spend $30k in home repairs over the past 8 years and we’ve had considerable medical expenses for one average vaginal delivery, 1 complicated delivery that required me to be rehospitalized, two foot surgeries for me and two dental crowns for me.
In order to get rid of out debts, we made a lot of sacrifices too. We did without new clothes (bought secondhand), haircuts (I did this myself for DH and me), no i-anythings, designer anythings, fancy electronics, no vacations, we limit gift giving, we rarely eat out, I clip coupons and we just live a simpler lifestyle than most. No tv service, no data plans, no smart phones, just internet. We don’t consume alcohol or smoke and we don’t have any expensive habits or hobbies. It requires a lot of discipline, determination, prayer and teamwork, but it is so worth it. I was able to quit my job 1 year ago without a compromise in our lifestyle, since we were debt free for a full year before we did it.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
That is awesome! Thanks for sharing your story!
Dana says
Yes! This article is right on!
We have a very similar story and are now debt free expect for the primary mortgage of our house. It hurt a ton when we were paying off debt. But I don’t regret it for a minute!
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Thanks for sharing! We’re $26,000 from being debt-free except for our primary mortgage. I can’t WAIT to cross that last Student Loan off of our list. Congratulations on becoming debt-free!
Susan in St. Louis says
Way to go! Keep up the good work!
…and you looked amazing after just having had a baby! 🙂
Nancy says
Good job!
Meredith says
We are paying off only our student loans now…..I know a lot of people say they wish they never did it or I should have paid it all off in cash. Well, my husbands MBA landed him a 50% pay increase instantly and already a another promotion. If we hadn’t done those loans, we may not be where we are today. Of course, I wish we had paid cash! Yet, the past is past and it’s time to keep moving forward. I think of how grateful I am at times for the loans but how much it stinks when I take ALL of our extra cash for the month to make a payment. I only leave 25 dollars in the bank in case of emergencies and like the article above, unless I get a freebie, our pantry is bare. Yay to Jessica for paying off that much! That’s about how much we have left. Now I know it’s possible!!!
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Thanks for the encouragement! It sounds like your family is doing a great job paying off your debts. Keep up the good work!
Jessica H says
Great story! We are debt free thanks to living well below our means for the first five years of marriage. People made fun of us, but now that our house is paid for, they are amazed. Our house is small and our cars are old, but we feel rich because we don’t have any payments. It is amazing how much you can do when you are willing to sacrifice some of the luxuries we take for granted.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
That is fantastic! Have you read The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley? He describes how most millionaires live in small houses and drive old cars. Reading that book gave me a whole new perspective on being “rich.” Congratulations on being debt-free!
Jessica H says
My husband read it and was constantly reading passages to me. I agree with the book because I worked with children of “wealthy” families and many of the children were stressed because their families could barely pay the mortgage. We are far from being millionaires, but often laugh because no one would guess we were financially secure by our small house and our fifteen year old car.
J.B. says
Thank you for this post. I love her blog. i am three weeks into the college semester and I made a goal last semester to quit taking out student loans. In order to do this I am working 55+hours a week and going to school 6 credit hours. When I paid cash for the semester it was kinda amazing. however as I try to save for next semester I am feeling the pain. So thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Thank you for the encouragement! You are doing an admirable job. It is so wonderful that you are thinking about these things now while you are still in college, rather than years from now. Keep up the good work!
J says
Such great progress! Congratulations. A worthy goal that we are also fervently working on.
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Thank you! Good luck on your goal too!
Kayla says
First thing I thought when I started reading this article was, she left the hospital in JEANS!>? Lucky girl, bounced back quick!
Crystal says
I noticed that, too! I will try not to be jealous! 😉
J says
Wow…I didn’t notice that. Simply amazing.
Heather says
I thought the same – so thin!
Although, I left the hospital in jeans, too – maternity ones!
Llama Momma says
I think they must be maternity jeans. Even when you bounce back quick, your uterus takes a few weeks to get back to a normal shape…right???
Jessica @ The Abundant Wife says
Ha ha! They’re maternity jeans. I wore them throughout the entire pregnancy. I wasn’t back in regular clothes until a few months later. 🙂
Kim says
I have been trying really hard not to use a dryer. It has been about a 3wks now. My question is how do you hand dry your towels n washcloth in the colder season ? I have racks for my clothes. Thanks in advance.
patty says
I did, too. But they were maternity jeans. 🙂
Shelly says
Such a great reminder of when you think of your long term goals the “today wants” can be set aside for the bigger purpose. This is something I try to teach my kids, to wait for the big things instead of giving in to the wanting of the here and now trinkets.
At the beginning of our marriage had two good incomes but lots of debt. Now we live on much less and have no debt. It is amazing what you can do when you live like no one else.