Baby D’s case has moved from the goal of reunification to adoption. There are so many bittersweet emotions in this.
His birth mama recently made the incredibly selfless and loving decision to surrender her rights because she isn’t capable of caring for all of his medical needs. Seeing her deep love for him and knowing the pain and grief this decision has caused her — and the loss that it is for him and his siblings — has broken my heart over and over again.
For the past 4 months, there was a plan in place we were working toward for permanency with another family. We felt this was such a good option for him and we had been preparing our hearts for the transition of saying goodbye soon.
But then, four weeks ago, the door to that plan began closing and the door to us adopting him swung open. It wasn’t something we had considered because we thought that this other plan was a for sure thing.
As soon as adoption was an option, we all realized how much he had attached to us and how much we had fallen in love with him. Without us even realizing, he had become family. After lots of prayer and conversations, we all had complete peace about saying yes to adopting him!!
So, in just a few weeks’ time, we’ve gone from preparing our hearts to say goodbye very soon to saying yes to forever!! It’s been a little wild… but we see God’s handprints all over his story!
This is foster care, so there’s always a chance that something changes, but at this point, it looks like we’ll officially be making Baby D a part of our forever family sometime in the next 6 months — and we couldn’t be more excited! And we’re so grateful that his birth mama is very much on board with this plan and we hope to continue the relationship with her. (She has wept multiple times telling me through an interpreter how much it means to her that we are caring for her son.)
Thank you for rejoicing with us in this news… and thank you also for honoring his birth mama in your comments about this. If God puts her on your heart, please pray for her as she processes and grieves this loss. She is such a brave and loving woman and we are grateful for the honor of getting to know her.
P.S. If you are new here, Baby D is the sweet little boy we’ve been fostering for the past 7 months. He is 14 months old and was born at 27 weeks with low birth weight, he has a cleft lip/palate, has a feeding tube (he gets all of his nutrition through the g-tube right now), and has Down Syndrome. But most of all, he is a fighter and an odd-defier who keeps us laughing and smiling all day long.
Elise says
What a wonderful thing! Crying! Each person on this earth is precious to the Lord! Thankful you are in his life for such a time as this! Glad you are staying in touch with his mama. They will both need that. Blessings to all of you!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you for your encouragement and support!
Kathleen R. says
Congratulations!!! Such wonderful and fun news!!! Many Blessings!!! 🙂
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
JJ says
One of my friends was adopted and has a beautiful story. She loves her birth mother for loving her enough to allow her parents raise her. Praying for all of you! 💖
Crystal Paine says
I love that! Thank you for sharing!
Pat says
Your family is quite an inspiration to what God can accomplish. Congratulations!
Kip says
I’m so happy for your family!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
Becky Kramer says
What wonderful news! What a brave, strong woman his mama is knowing what is best for your baby. I love that you will welcome her as a part of his life. It would be very cool if somehow baby D could bilingual so he could communicate with her or if he is going to be noncommunicative due to his health issues etc if they could both learn sign language.
Crystal Paine says
His mama is so excited that he is learning English, but we’d love for him to learn Spanish if he’s able to with all of his likely speech delays due to DS + cleft lip/palate!
Bekah Williams says
“A child born to another woman calls me Mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege is not lost on me.” (Jody Landers)
We have walked this road and also adopted a medically fragile, tube-fed kiddo – so we understand *all* the things. I’m excited that he is able to stay with the family he is bonded and attached to, commend his biological mother’s bravery and pray for her heartache.
Let me know if you need input with the “paperwork” side of the adoption. There’s lots of things you’ll need to know/consider before finalizing!
Crystal Paine says
Gratefully, TN seems to make the legal side very simple when adopting from foster care… I know that is not usually the case with many adoptions! (It also helps to be married to an attorney! ;))
Chris says
What a deep quote.
Rebecca says
LOVE IT! Beautiful the way God has worked in your families.
Jill Walrod says
We have a special needs child. He is a great blessing to us and we can see how God has shaped our lives through this. I’m very grateful to God for this journey. I know your family will be blessed as well
Crystal Paine says
The 7 months we have had the opportunity to have him in our own and love him as our own have been such a gift! We are so grateful for him!
Jeannie says
Prayers for you and the birth momma. Have been down this road of adoption. God is so good!! You are such an encouragement to me!
Jody says
I’m so excited for your family! We adopted both of our girls from China so we love an adoption story! I can’t wait to see the little guy’s face. Congrats!
Lise says
Congratulations and God bless!! Such exciting news!
Natalia says
Congratulations! I am so happy for Baby D and for your family. What a great news! I cried reading it.
Mackenzie says
Yay!!!!!
Charlotte Whatley says
Wow!! That’s a true blessing from the Lord. You will soon find out that he was yours from the beginning. The Lord meant for you to have him from a mom who has been down this road three times. So glad for you!!
Crystal Paine says
He will always be his birth mama’s first and foremost. We are so grateful for her and for her choosing life for him and we always want her life to be a very important part of his.
Julie says
This is so amazing. I’m inspired, as usual! I love following along with the story of your family and thank you for sharing it. What a precious child and I love your hearts for him and his mama. All of you and especially his mama will be in my prayers in the coming months.
Chipmunk says
What a wonderful opportunity! I can’t imagine how difficult it is for his birth mom to give him up for adoption; I’m sure that it is of some comfort to her to know y’all, how you’ve taken such good care of him, and how much you love him already. That said, it’s still a very hard thing to relinquish your child, and I really respect her for wanting the best for him despite how much it must hurt her.
Crystal Paine says
We are so grateful to have a wonderful relationship with her. She is the kindest woman.
Christine says
Wow! So happy for your family! I will say a prayer for you all and the birth mom. I can imagine it bittersweet it is. Blessings to you all!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
Cheryl says
Congratulations! I’m really happy for your family and especially Baby D! I have 2 adopted children myself and they are amazing kids. I appreciate how you have brought foster care and adoption to public awareness.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
Darcie says
Wow! This is BIG news! But I can see God’s faithfulness to you and your husband and to Baby D all through it. And yes I will pray for Baby D’s mama and for all the emotions she is feeling right now. It’s been amazing to follow your journey of being a foster parent and being surprised to have another one of your own and then God blessing you with this baby. You all are a wonderful demonstration of walking by faith and by courage. Thank you for sharing your story.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
Erica Hall says
Such a beautiful story! Congrats to you and your family.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!