Guest post from Kaley of The Merry Little Christmas Project:
The year was 2010. My husband and I had just survived the angst of a year and half battle with unemployment. We were finally settled into a steady job that included a steady paycheck.
However, the memories of a dwindling checking account and paying for groceries with WIC checks were still fresh, and the coping mechanisms and strategies I had learned during that time had become my daily mentality.
Buy groceries without using a coupon? Never! Pay full price for anything? Not on your life! Protecting my family from spending too much money on anything had become my full-time job.
As I considered the financials of Christmas spending that year, I pinned on my “Money-Saving Ninja” badge with pride and prepared to kick overspending to the curb. I was not only going to punch debt in the face, I had money-saving moves that would win any Christmas Shopping Competition, hands down.
For a year, I prepared for the big moment. I looked for every opportunity to score deals or stock up on freebies. I tucked away gift cards and credits earned from rewards companies. I clipped coupons, mailed in rebates and entered giveaways all in the name of slashing my out-of-pocket Christmas spending.
I shopped the sales like it was my secret mission and my frugal identity depended on it. We were not going to spend one penny more than we had to on Christmas gifts. Not on my watch.
When Christmas arrived and I had crunched the numbers and the savings spreadsheets were tallied, I raised my hands in sweet victory. My goal to spend only $50 of our allocated budget on all of our Christmas shopping was not only achieved, I had actually come in under budget!
I remember the sense of accomplishment as I surveyed the LARGE pile of gifts around the tree on Christmas morning. No after-Christmas overspending guilt here, thank you very much.
But then, I remember another feeling that crept in throughout the morning – one that I was not expecting. My initial pride began to give way to some regret. When all the gifts were unwrapped and that inexpensive stash of toys had been scattered throughout the house, I realized I had just spent a whole lot of time and energy buying plain old stuff.
All of my efforts and planning and strategizing had resulted in some momentary pleasure for my kids and ultimately, another layer of clutter in our home.
I had to ask myself if all of my money-saving efforts were actually worth it?
Since that year, my attitude toward my Christmas spending has changed dramatically. Here are three lessons I learned from my $50 Christmas:
1. It’s only a deal if it brings value to our home.
Sure, maybe that game with all the little pieces is on sale at Toys R Us for a few dollars and I have a coupon that makes it cost just pennies, but will my son actually play with it more than once?
If not, the time and energy that it takes to go to the store is simply not worth it. I might snag it for a donation, but I will definitely skip putting it under the tree.
I’ve learned to pay more attention to the actual value of the gift than the perceived deal that I am snagging. (Let’s be honest – I also pay attention to the amount of those little pieces I will be stepping on after Christmas too!)
2. My main goal is no longer ‘how to spend the least’.
I will pay full price for a gift if I consider it an investment. I love to give the gift of an experience that makes time for my kids and I to spend together, whether it be a trip to the aquarium or to the movies.
I have also discovered the beauty of multi-purpose Christmas giving, like piano lessons for the music lover or a basketball class for the sports fan. Instead of simply signing my kids up for these activities, we have let them serve the purpose of a Christmas gift as well. As an added bonus, these are the gifts that keep on giving!
3. I learned that the easiest way to spend less money on Christmas is to simply buy fewer gifts.
Truth be told, it was hard for me to let go of the mentality that I owe my kids stuff at Christmas. But I’ve discovered something important by giving myself permission to simplify gift-giving and focus on only a few meaningful gifts.
The less time I spend shopping for presents, the more time I have to BE present. Those hours I used to spend deal hunting and shopping the sales are now free to be spent savoring the season with my kids. Any Christmas prep that takes more time than the joy it brings simply isn’t worth it to me.
So will I ever attempt a $50 Christmas again?
I don’t think so! This money-saving ninja is putting away her Christmas shopping nunchucks for now. But have no doubt – I still have some fancy deal-finding moves if I need to pull them out from time to time.
Kaley Ehret is wife to Wes and Mom to Griffin, Lincoln and Cade. She loves to helps women transform their Christmas through her book The Merry Little Christmas Project: Five Words that Will Transform Your Christmas and via her online community.
LOVED this post! I’ve never done a $50 Christmas, but I had a similar revelation a while back. I would pat myself on the back for getting things practically for nothing, but then realized a lot of it was cheaply made stuff that my kids didn’t want anyway. I stopped requesting freebies in the mail for the same reason. I found I was requesting things simply because they were free, not because I actually wanted or needed them, and then they ended up cluttering up the house.
We have 8 kids. We both have good jobs. We choose to buy less”things” throughout the year and we average $25 per person on Christmas. One Santa gift that is individually picked per kids taste and one family gift we can all enjoy together. Put $25 to the side each mo th and it goes a long way. The price of the gift does not really matter. In our house it is the thought that goes into each gift.
$50 for a load of Christmas gifts took some real effort I applaud you, but I know what you mean when you really think of their value. When the newness wears off those toys will be in a pile that is never touched again. My goal this year is to purchase one gift that I know my daughter will get some good use out of!
“Any Christmas prep that takes more time than the joy it brings simply isn’t worth it to me.” Yes, this. 🙂
It took me a long time to figure that one out, Bethany, but it’s life changing!
Better late than never, right? 🙂
Exactly. 🙂
Well said. This year our family agreed that no one needs a lot of ‘things’ for Christmas. Our gift to our kids and grandkids is a family vacation. We are all going to Myrtle Beach for a week in May. We rented a house big enough for 15 of us. Memories to last a lifetime. We plan to do this every year.
Sounds like a blast, Jeri! Great idea.
Interestingly I feel a bit different…first of all, I am a frugal person and share the same mindset as you regarding things being the lowest they can be and shopping that way. I do take full advantage of several programs which allow for use of points earned (Syw) or others for cash rebates (ebates, shop at home) and joined with deals that are often noted on money saving blogs, I do a great job of low cost on my purchases. I do feel like my family will enjoy opening those gifts and I welcome the opportunities to get them inexpensively. I agree things can come and go so why not get new things occasionally and cycle out the old to donate, sell, or pass on. I love getting new things and don’t get very often, so to me Christmas is a perfect time to share finding those “perfect things” for my family. Oh and by the way, we are taking our immediate family (adult kids and grand baby) to Walt Disney World for a 3 day trip so I do share your feeling on experiences are BETTER than things. I just like to see the JOY from both kinds of gifts!!! I guess I’m still a kid at heart. Just my two cents…:)
Totally understand, Lynn! We still give a few toys and other wished-for items, but we’ve cut back. And I still love to score a great deal! I do a majority of my shopping via Amazon and save up gift cards using Swagbucks throughout the year. Love stretching those dollars!
I agree!
For me, Christmas has been my least favorite holiday (because of gift giving) and I’m always relieved when it’s over. I really don’t like it when a family member calls and says, “We’re at the store, what do you want for Christmas?” It feels contrived and feels like buying for the sake of buying.
This year our family agreed to forgo gift giving for adults and only get gifts for children. My children don’t need any more toys, so I’m going to get them clothes, which they can always use.
I agree! Buying something for someone just to buy something is not my favorite.
I’ve got 11 siblings/in-laws and 10 nieces/nephews to buy for and I usually start keeping my eye out for gifts in January and only buy something if it’s something that I really think I’d want to buy for them anyway, Christmas-gift-buying pressure aside. And, around now, November, I assess what I have and start thinking of homemade stuff (baking/seasoning mixes, a simple quilt, candles, etc) I can make, mainly with items I have on hand, for whoever I haven’t bought for so that I don’t have to go to the store and just buy stuff.
Sounds like you have a great system, Jen! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing, Ruth. I’m always trying to improve how we give gifts. It’s a process that seems to improve a little bit more every year.
I LOVE your perspective and totally agree. At the end of the day we rarely need more things. This Christmas I have a few gifts for my kids but the main gift is a gift of experience. I would be so happy if my kids were given more items like giftcards for movies and less junk they will play with once or twice. Good post!
Thank you for sharing, Aimee!
I couldn’t agree more with this post! It’s taken me years to come to these same conclusions. I’ve made some changes in my intentions this Christmas and am excited to see the benefits of it this year!
I’m excited for you too, Kari! Thanks for sharing.
Such a good post! I think we miss the point of gift giving altogether if we are so caught up in spending as little as possible. If I can’t afford much, I’d rather give the gift of time or make something myself than get a great deal on something I don’t think the person will like. Great reminders in this post! Thanks for sharing!
I agree, Sarah! The gift of time has so much more value than anything we can buy at the store. Thanks for your kind words.
Balanced, real, tested advice! Thanks for sharing your story as we purpose to celebrate the true meaning of the season.
My pleasure, K Ann!
That is very encouraging. We’ve never had the ability to spend much on Christmas. I usually go to handmade things and thrift store purchases. I want things that are meaningful as well as practical. I agree, just because it is a deal doesn’t mean it is worth it.
I agree, Keelie. Meaningful and practical gifts are my favorite kind!
I agree. We tried to have low key celebrations. I aimed for three packages and a stocking of candy. Jesus had three gifts. We also went to church. I asked my now grown children how we did. My son said he and his sister never had a bad Christmas.
What a thoughtful perspective! Thanks for your honest post that will be helpful and encouraging to all of us money saving readers as we try to be intentional this Christmas. God bless!
Thank you for your kind words, Amanda!