As I got into the car last Saturday to head to the airport from the Florida Homeschool Conference, I got a text from my mom letting me know that one of my sister’s and brother-in-law’s really close friends had died in a tragic accident.
While I didn’t personally know this couple, my heart has hurt so much for this young wife and mom of four who lost her husband so unexpectedly and tragically. I cannot imagine the pain, the shock, the anguish, the gaping hole left by her husband’s death.
My mom told me today that his funeral on Wednesday was one of the most meaningful services she’d ever attended. Why? Because this man had lived wholeheartedly embracing every moment of life.
He had almost died from a serious illness a few years before. This illness took his eyesight, but instead of lamenting the fact that he had lost his sight, he spent the last few years of his life living every day to the fullest — pouring himself into people and loving people well.
One of my dear friends who just recently had surgery to remove part of her tongue and lymph nodes in an effort to beat her throat cancer told me (my paraphrase), “You can’t look death in the face and not be changed. You stop worrying about petty things. You stop letting misunderstandings and differences hurt relationships. And you start loving people well. Because you don’t know how many days you have left on this earth and you don’t want to waste a single one.”
Her example of living each day to its fullest has challenged me deeply. And it’s convicted me of how often I let busyness get in the way of loving well.
Moving to Tennessee was a major milestone for me. I drew a line in the sand and said, “From here on out, I want to wholeheartedly embrace the life God has given me. I’ve spent too many years stuffing problems under the rug instead of dealing with them in a healthy way. I’ve spent too many years of my life chasing productivity instead of making people and community a priority. I’ve spent too many years trying to please people instead of being who God has called me to be.”
It’s been a month of fully embracing life and I wouldn’t go back to my former self for anything. I’ve made deep relationships. I’ve become more spontaneous. I’ve laughed harder than I have in ages. And I’ve discovered that people are completely okay with my sometimes-messy, very imperfect self.
It’s been a beautiful journey and it’s only begun. Will you join me? Let’s fully embrace today… because we don’t know if there is a tomorrow.
P.S. Would you please join me in praying for this dear woman who has lost her husband and these four young children who have lost their daddy? If you want to do something to help this woman and her four children out practically or financially, please email me (crystal @ moneysavingmom.com) and I’ll share some specific ways you can help them out.
I’d also like ask for prayer for my sister, Gretchen, and her husband, as you can probably imagine how difficult this has been for them, too. She does a lot to make MoneySavingMom.com what it is — running the Stores Deals section and sharing her shopping trips and weekly menu plans — and I’d love it if we could all come around her and support her in this time of grief. If you’d like to send a note to her to let her know you’re praying for her, you can email it to me, as well (crystal @ moneysavingmom.com) and I’ll make sure she gets it. Thank you all so very much!
I read this post when you published it, but I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I could not gather my thoughts. Having seen what a very close family member and her son went through when she lost her husband, and my loss of a very close friend made this hit home. My heart aches for everyone affected by his loss. I will have Gretchen and his wife and children in my prayers. God bless them and help them through this storm.
Having read this also made me put things into perspective and refocus. I’ve been at a pity party for several days, but now realize again how blessed I am and truly have no reason to feel sorry for myself. You have also reminded me that I promised myself I would live the moment to the fullest, no matter what that moment was. God has blessed me with all I need to face my current challenge. How can I complain? Crystal, you, your encouragement, and kind words are among my blessings. Thank you!!! God bless you and your family for touching so many lives <3
What a tragedy! I can’t imagine the pain and sadness. May God hold this momma in his grip as she discovers a new ‘normal’. My heart goes out to the family.
*Prayers and hugs*
Coincidences? Maybe not. I was in a car crash the day before you published this post. Luckily, all 3 cars of people are fine…but it is a blunt reminder. Your post also struck me, as it reminded me of a friend who lost her son to a rare genetic disease around age 2. Trek has been gone for almost one year. When he was diagnosed, they began living with the mantra “Embrace Life” and sold items bearing this mantra, in his honor. So this piece completely reminded me of them. You can see their story at http://oursonnylife.com/ (well publicized, I’m not leaking a secret site)…and I am going to tell Chelsea about your post. Sending thoughts and prayers to both your sister and this young widow and her family.
So Very tragic and sad. I join you and the many others praying for all effected by this sad situation. My heart just aches… Praying God will wrap His arms around them.
My God bless the family and your sister at their time of grief
Our God is the Great Provider; He knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. I will be praying for that young family & for your sister too. May the love of God surround them, may His comfort, grace, & peace abound as His gentle presence is always with them….
Pastor Nici
Prayers to the family that lost their loved one, keeping your sister in my prayers also.
I cannot imagine the pain. Prayers for all.
Thank you so much for this post. I am praying for your friend, your sister, and the family.
I so appreciate your posts, they always touch my heart and remind me of what is truly important. You have such a special gift and I am so glad you share it with us.
SLS
My young husband, Rodney, was admitted to hospice this week. He has been battling an aggressive form of prostate cancer. It has been a long, heartbreaking road.
So my heart goes out to all those who have lost a spouse and all those suffering with sorrow and loss. I will remember this family and friends in my prayers.
Prayers for your husband and for you. I am a hospice volunteer. It is never easy. I am so sorry, and my heart aches for you both.
So sorry to read this. Praying God will strengthen and comfort you and your family too!
So very sorry to read this. My prayers go out to you all.
I am so sorry. I will have you in my prayers. God bless all of you.
Joining you all in praying for this family and friends.
A link from Ann Voskamp’s site that is on this very subject and a good read.
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/05/why-you-have-to-stop-waiting-for-the-future-begin-living-now/
Thanks so much for sharing that post!
“You can’t look death in the face and not be changed.”
This is so true. My husband died a year ago today. He had esophageal cancer for three years so it wasn’t unexpected and yet strangely it was when we came to the moment in which his body gave up and his soul fled its confines.
He was 37, we had 5 kids (including a then 5 month old girl who will never know her daddy), and we are still picking up the pieces here. Death changes who you are for sure. Trivial things that seemed important no longer matter in a way they did before.
I’m no longer waiting to take vacations, no longer saying “later” to requests from the kids and my friends. Life is so very short and very fragile. Embrace it while you can.
{Hugs!} I am so very, very sorry. I just prayed for some special encouragement for you today. My heart hurts for you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. May God bless you and may you continue to be a great example of how tragedy can lead to positive life changes.
Praying for this family, and for your sister too.
This was so timely…today we found out our neighbors (husband and wife) were killed in a motorcycle accident. They left their 11 year old only child , a girl, behind to mourn. She and I had become and are very close. She accepted Christ at our vbs last summer and had been coming to church with us ever since. Today has been the longest day and the lessons I’ve learned have been great. Life is short and frail and it should never be moving so quickly that you don’t have time to love others and cherish every moment. 1 Corinthians 13
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. Every day is a blessing.
I am from a not-so-foreign country: Mexico, but I am from a south of the border town: Matamoros -across from Brownsville TX. I have always said that -there should be no past and no future, but present. Now, in the position of parents- our kids are like a savings account. The more positive memories and fun you save into their accounts the merrier, cause, at the end of the day you don’t know if you will live for them tomorrow. Even in the rain, dance!!
I’m pretty sure this is the same family my old neighbor told us about that lived a few houses down from her. Been thinking and praying for her!
My heart goes out to each of these people. They will be in my prayers, and I also added them to a prayer chain that I’m involved in. Thanks for sharing this prayer opportunity with your readers.
Wow, I’m so sorry. I cannot fathom the grief she is facing right now. I will certainly pray! Thanks for sharing your heart on this…it’s so easy to get caught up on the to-do lists of life, but at the end of the day, it’s worth nothing if we’ve neglected the ones God has placed in our path. That’s one reason why I’ve taken a step back from blogging…to find a better balance for it all (still trying to figure that out). I don’t want to have any regrets!
After hearing the words ‘breast cancer’ from my doctor at the end of 2012 I went through the same transformation. The little things that I used to dwell on just don’t matter anymore; and the big things (family & friends) became the most important things. It is such a better and happier way to live!
Prayers to the family and your sister. When I read your the part of your post and got to the part about “laughing harder” it brought me to tears. I’ve struggled to bring that type of happiness into my life and so glad that you have been able to find it. I hope someday I will be able to do the same.
My heart and my prayers are with the woman who has lost her husband and the children who have lost their father, as well as for your sister and her husband.
I will certainly be praying for that family and for your sister and husband too. How absolutely devastating. It is truly a reminder that we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow and need to embrace life and love well. Ever since my sister died unexpectedly I have a whole new outlook on life. Loving and living well every single day is so important.
It’s so scary how fast life can change or end. I’ll pray for Gretchen and her husband and their newly widowed friend and her children.
Praying for that family and your sister’s as well.
Thank you for this post. It’s something I struggle with and needed to read today (and will probably need to read/hear over and over). I get so caught up in my own busy-ness that I forget what truly is important and more often than not, right in front of me!
I will definitely pray for this new widow and children as well as your sister. And while I’m at it, your dear friend battling cancer.
The pain and sorrow that mother and her children must be feeling right now, I pray God would wrap his arms of comfort around them. I too try to live like there is no tomorrow. I catch a loved one of mine all the time saying “when they are older I will….about his children” but having lost now both my parents one in my 30’s and one shortly after my 40th birthday I know their might not be a “when they are older” so I try to enjoy my “right now” to the fullest.
My husband and I were at the funeral. It was very moving, and inspiring. So very sad, but he was an amazing person. My husband went to school with him, and I know some of the extended family members. We will continue to pray for their family
Crystal and Gretchen, I join you in prayer. I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. Sometimes it’s impossible to understand God’s plan, but we have to trust in it.
What an amazing and inspirational story! I’m definitely praying for your friend and your sister–they both need a lot of support through this situation.
Your life can change in a second. A snap! A crash! Ever since “moving out West” after my mother died, I’ve embraced everything. Seen as much as possible, experienced so much, ’cause it could be over tomorrow. It’s so important to live well, and embrace what you can. Thanks so much for the reminder. ~Brenda, SuperMoney.com