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My Word for 2021

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Usually, my word for the year comes to me around mid-November. It will typically be the result of prayer, thought, conversations I have with others, and books that I read.

Normally, I will mull on it for a few weeks and then, by mid December, I’ll share it with Jesse and a few others and start mapping out what it looks like to live out that word for the next year.

This year, it didn’t happen like that at all.

November was an emotionally exhausting month for me. We knew we were in the final days of fostering Champ and there were so many emotions to process with that. I couldn’t think much beyond just savoring the moments and loving well and walking with my family through this loss.

He went back to his mom full-time the beginning of December and I spent the next few weeks wading through grief, putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to adjust to a new normal with just one baby instead of two.

All of a sudden, it was three weeks into December and I realized that I didn’t even have a word for 2021. And I didn’t have any sort of direction as to what an over-arching theme for the year would be.

I’ve talked to a lot of foster parents in recent weeks and they all tell me this is completely normal. That the grief of saying goodbye is intense, that the emotional toll that foster care takes on you deeply impacts you, and that it’s hard to explain what it’s like to lose a child who is still alive — and to hold the tension of it being both thrilled and devastated at the same time. (Thrilled they reunited, devastated they are no longer with you.)

About three weeks into December, the fog began clearing and I felt myself slowly starting to experience motivation again. I wanted to read and bake and think about 2021 and what it might look like. And I felt less sadness and heaviness and more joy and hope.

At the same time, though, I realized that the events of this past year — of having my eyes opened to the great needs in our own community, of falling in love with this sweet little boy, of the countless doctor’s appointments and therapy appointments and meetings with social workers and middle of the night feeds and tears and prayers on his behalf, of the many conversations with other foster parents, of getting to cheer on his birth mama and see the joy and transformation in her life — it changed me deeply.

I know I won’t be the same again. I know I can’t ever go back to who I was before foster care.

I feel like my heart is more raw and tender and my resolve and passion for making a difference is much more intensified. As Jamie from Foster the Family says: “I could be sitting on the sidelines, in blissful ignorance of the brokenness that surrounds me, enjoying the whole-ness of a sweet and sheltered life. Missing out on the beauty of breaking off pieces of my heart and my life to make another whole.”

I can’t go back to sitting on the sidelines again. I can’t go back to blissful ignorance.

And so, as I contemplated these changes in my heart and thought about what it meant for 2021, the word I was supposed to choose came to me. I sat on it for a few days, talked to Jesse, and mulled it over some more, and it kept being reiterated to me in multiple ways. It didn’t take long for me to know that it was the word I was suppose to choose.

Well, it’s actually not a word, it’s a two-word phrase: Show Up.

Two simple words… but they pack a punch!

How I Plan to Live Out This Phrase in 2021

In 2021, I commit to Show Up in these ways:

  • Show Up for My Family — I commit to say yes more, to be more available, to be fully present, to live each day more wholeheartedly — knowing that every day is a gift and you never know when it will be your last one. I don’t want to take the moments and memories for granted. Less phone and screen time, more eye contact, face-to-face, listening, and bonding.
  • Show Up for My Local Community — I commit to being more willing to fling the doors of my home and heart open to people in my real-life. To not let fear of, “What will they think of me?” hold me back from following the Holy Spirit’s prompting to lean in and love well.
  • Show Up for the Most Vulnerable — I commit to saying yes to open our home up to foster care, even when it’s hard, even when it scares me, even though I know it will mean my heart will get broken again. We are actively praying for which child(ren) He is calling us to say yes to in 2021.
  • Show Up for My Online Community — 2021 is the year where I commit to stop worrying about the complainers and the naysayers and just fully show up as myself and as God leads me for this community. I don’t want to hold back sharing something that I know will help 97% of you all because I’m afraid of the negative response from the 3%.

So there you have it. My word of the year may have not come in the usual way, but it feels so right for 2021.

I don’t know what the next year holds, but I look forward to showing up for it wholeheartedly!

Did you choose a word for 2021? If so, I’d love to hear what you chose!

More posts on my words of the year in previous years:

Reader Interactions

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  1. Christy says

    Brave is my word. I am such a people pleaser. I live life perpetually unsure and asking others what I should do. I can tell myself to be more decisive, to be more in touch with myself, to realize I will make mistakes and that is OK! I am so afraid of making others mad. I am so afraid of making mistakes that might hurt others including my 3 kids. I am so afraid of failure. ” I’m not good enough.” “I can’t do it anyway.” ” I have failed at everything else, so why would I think I can do this?” I am trying to change this inner dialogue. I know there is a gift I can give the world that God put in me to give. I want to be more brave to overcome this.

  3. Anne M says

    My phrase for the year is “Less is More.” I want to continue with my decluttering efforts, with a special emphasis on craft supplies and projects. This will (hopefully) allow projects I am no longer interested in to go to someone who is.

  4. Emily says

    I wasn’t successful in coming up with a word last year – so I’d love to have one for this year but having a hard time deciding! I’m thinking over “choose joy” and “I get to” (versus thinking “I have to”) – both are related to mindset.

    Appreciate the inspiration here!

  5. Amber says

    My word just came to me a few days ago, Present. With having a toddler, I want to make sure that I am present with him and enjoy this time why he is little. He’s 18 months old and I’m just loving this age.

    I work with homeless families and often time’s their children are in foster care, working on a case plan to get their children back. I see all of the obstacles these families have to go through. You are an amazing mama for loving on and taking care of Champ. Do you get to stay involved with him and his mama? I’ve always been curious about this, as I know often times those mama’s lack a good support system and need women who can speak into their lives and love on them.

  6. Tracey Sims says

    At 1:58am Philadelphia time, your e-mail came to my inbox. I needed it. I didn’t know it, but I did. I read the other comments and am deeply moved. Sometimes, seeing someone else grieve, re-focus, or commit, can move you forward. That’s what reading about your word for 2021 and comments from your other readers did for me. Thank YOU for showing up for me (even if you didn’t know it).

  8. Kathy Peoples says

    My word is also focus. Both at home where I have very little available time and at work where I’m working more days but shorter shifts. I want to be intentional with the little free time I have at home whether it’s being productive or being present with my daughter and husband. I want to read more and scroll and have a wandering mind less. At work I want to set more goals everyday.

  9. Karen Carter says

    I actually have two words for this year: Focus (with God’s help, I AM going to conquer squirrel syndrome) and childlike (I want to learn how to receive Papa’s unconditional love and acceptance of me. Not have to earn it, just receive it like a little girl. To run to Him for everything like a little child, instead of people. To finally have the wounded parts of my life be healed in His loving, judgement free Presence.). I am 61 and have decided this is finally the year to lose all that baggage.

  10. Victoria Huizinga says

    Show up. LOVE it. I don’t have a word for 2021 but I do have a verse: Proverbs 6:4
    “Don’t put it off; do it now! Don’t rest until you do.” Happy New Year!

  11. Samantha says

    My word of year is savor. I want to savor the moments. If 2020 taught me anything it is how fast things can change.

  12. Tiffany says

    I chose a phrase too: ” be open.”

    I’m going through some major life changes in the following months and I’m genuinely terrified. Some are great changes and some are sad ones but I know they are necessary. So I’m committing to being open to making new connections, being open to new experiences and being open to a new path in life.

  13. Becky Roberts says

    I don’t have a word yet for the year other than “long haul.” As s foster adoptive parent of a child with special needs that will be 20 in February, having done unaccompanied refugee minor foster care for two teens from Rwanda who are now in college and grad school, and as a retired teacher who taught inner city, I know that we are often the planters and God gives the increase that we might not see. I am so encouraged by how God has given you “eyes to see” right where you are. Thank you for your vulnerable posts, I have followed you for many years.

  14. Carla says

    After a darker year like 2020 – my 2021 word is Light… I feel like it’s similar to joy. I want to be more intentional w my energy. To be the light, to feel the light, to find the light.

  15. AM says

    My word is ‘treasure’ this year. I want to carefully keep and value the relationships in my family and life, to protect what’s truly important and to appreciate all that I have. This past year has really been a lesson in what matters most and I want 2021 to focus on loving and treasuring the good parts of life.

  16. Jerrianne says

    My words for 2021 are Breathe and Grit. Breathe in the Holy Spirit, breathe during yoga, just remember to breathe in 2021. Grit- perseverance and passion for long term goals. That the grit I have right now for my goals will help me overcome any obstacles or challenges that lie on the path to accomplishment.

  18. Jamie says

    My word for the year is Encourage. The short of it is: I have been discouraged and sad by the state of things, and hurt and quite appalled at the words and actions of many who say they love Jesus. But that’s where my focus has been… I’ve been tangled up in the negativity and it’s time to lift my eyes, and perhaps share some sparks of joy and hope with those around me, too.

  19. Terri says

    My word for 2021 is resolve. A firm determination. Intentional action. In the pandemic it can be too easy to go with the flow, to develop bad habits, to slip into complacency. I RESOLVE to stay focus and committed in my faith, my family, my work and my life.

    • Ree says

      Authentic. Just that!
      I’ve decided I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies when it comes to friends. That phrase has stuck with me. I’ve always known not everyone is really your close friend and there are few you can truely count on.
      Many people used the pandemic as an excuse and did what they chose to do. I think the longer it went, people grew accustomed to not having community and commitment. It was a total divisive thing the devil used.
      I’m going to chose to be authentic and show up for people and take the risk to have people in my home. Trusting that God will provide and protect. He knows all my days ahead. Not being stupid and taking good precaution where needed but determined to keep people in my life.

    • Mandy says

      LOVE this! What a great word.
      I have been considering purposeful for mine. Still not sure.

  20. Debbie says

    My word for 2021 is “Believe”.. believe that I am worthy and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I’ve struggled with this my entire life and I don’t want to pass this on to my girls.

  21. Carhy says

    My 2021 word of the year is Prevail. I use 4 areas of my life to live my word. Faith-Faith will prevail, Family- Through trials and joy our family bond prevails, Myself – Prevail like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, General life- dream, create, rest, prevail. My verse is Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails Proverbs 19:21
    I started doing this after a life changing injury in 2016. I make mine as a mind map.

  23. Teresa says

    Love your journey, and sharing with us! Blessings to you!
    I have never chosen a word before, but not long ago, the word “enough” came to me, and it’s what my heart needs!!
    He is my ENOUGH. In all areas of life. I want to live life fully, but look to Him as i move through my days.

  24. Susan says

    My word for 2021 is L💜VE. The means loving Jesus harder, loving my family more, and also loving ME! It’s such a simple word but also so multifaceted. Can’t wait to dig in!

  26. Jody says

    My word for 2021 is connection. I’m craving a better connection with God, myself, my husband and son, my extended family and my community.

  27. Peg says

    My word for 2021 is “joyful”! To be joyful and find joy in each and every day…when completing an overdue task, a DIY that I’ve wanted to do forever, in speaking with family and friends each and every time, joyful in service to my church, my community, my family and friends. 2020 is behind us and I am joyful to enter this new year with JOY!

  28. Carissa McBurney says

    Our family decided on JOY. This year has been stressful for everyone and we need to continue to focus on the little joys in our life and find more joy in the coming year.

  29. Karen says

    I’ve actually kept the same word I had for 2020: Simplicity. As I thought on it, I just felt I’m not done with it yet.

  31. Trisha Funk says

    After the last number of years that have been SO filled with struggle but with so much career and life growth in spite of it, I chose EXPANSE for 2021 but then also kept coming back to glide. So I’m also choosing a two word phrase. Uncontested Expanse.

  32. Karla says

    I love “show up “! My word is actions. I want to show my faith by my actions. I want to get out of wait and see mode and Act on my plans. I want to not just know, but do!

  33. Wendy Brunell says

    My word for the year is escape. I don’t necessarily mean I want to get away from the world, but I want to get away from what I feel the world expects of me and live the way God leads me. I want to escape the fears and feelings that I let hold me back from doing things I could and honestly, should be doing. I feel like the world could use a whole lot more of the love I have to give, but I let my fear of how people will react to that hold me back, so this year, I’m escaping that fear and showing “me” to the world. I guess I could say look out, world, but I think it’ll be ok 🙂

  34. Dee says

    Where did you get those shirts? I love them!! I want the dark blue one! (Adopt & Foster & Mentor & Advocate & Volunteer…) YES!! I became a CASA this year and would loooove to have that shirt if you’ve got a link! (HUGS to you, you gave Champ an AMAZING start at life, one that he wouldn’t have gotten without you! He’s been so blessed to be a part of your family~!)

    • Lorelei says

      I had a lot of life going on leading up to the holidays also and hadn’t chosen a word, but had been praying about it. My sister-in-law, same age as me, passed away unexpectedly on 12/14 – she did not know Christ, which was/is heartbreaking to me. Two days later an aunt passed away, leaving me one aunt left of the 13 I began life with. A couple Mondays ago I enjoyed a 4 hour lunch date with a best friend, and 3 days later she was in the hospital, fading fast. She has since received care to help her rally, but 4 hours before the dawn of a new year, she texted to give me her prognosis (unless there is a “but God” intervention). It was a punch in the gut! I no stranger to loss – my mom passed when I was 21, 3 months after my grandma. My dad passed 8 years ago. I realized I am 60 years old and I have said earthly goodbyes to friends older and younger, but never to a really good friend. It’s a reality check – she is just 2 years beyond me. So my word is “yield”. Yield to God’s plan and purposes with the understanding that He knows what is best. Yield myself to the losses and hurts to make room for His gifts in those experiences. Yield myself to new opportunities to serve. Yielding myself to trust the unseen when what is seen doesn’t make sense to me. I love your phrase and I’m thinking to myself – how will it please the Lord for me to “show up” for my friend and her family in these days.