I’ve wasted much of my life pining away for a different time, a different season, a different set of circumstances.
No more.
This year, I’ve committed to love my actual life. The one I’m really living. Right here. Right now. Today.
It’s sometimes messy. It’s sometimes disorganized. And I rarely get everything done that I hope to in a day, but that doesn’t mean I can’t embrace it, savor it, and fall in love with it.
It’s a gift. All of it. And the more I choose to see it as such, the more I notice the gifts and the beauty all around me.
Trudie says
I’m going on a journey of trying to learn this exact thing! I started writing a book on it… but there’s so many aspects to it the overwhelming feeling has caused me to freeze up! ? I will read this book and maybe I won’t have to write one on this topic ??
Jessica says
I wish I had stopped and enjoyed more of the precious moments with my kids when they were younger. My oldest is turning 12 and as i go through old photos, i cant believe how fast time has gone by. And realize i need to pause more and just have fun with them, do more activities with them. Wish I could read the book, but right now, gotta try and catch up on my medical bills on top of our other bills. I love reading all your posts Crystal!!!! You are sooo inspiring to sooooooo many people, you cheer us on to be better versions of ourselves, so thank you a million times over and over ?
Kariane says
I love this sentiment. I’ve been working on being present in each moment, and that’s helped me to cultivate a deeper love for my life as it is. I wrote a bit about it here: http://everydayintentionalliving.com/thought-day-kabat-zinn-2/
Alexandra Kuykendall says
Hi Crystal,
Thank you so much for sharing about the book! As I read through the comments (yours and the readers) I am thrilled to hear the “Yes!”es. I don’t want to miss out on this life because of the hoping for the next big thing. I want to mine for the good right here. I want to see God at work TODAY. I appreciate your journey and your mention of Loving My Actual Life.
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for writing the book! I really, really appreciate the inspiration!
Katie @ My Joy in Chaos says
I loved this book and the real voice of Alexandra. I’m now using her method of making my monthly goals by an area of my life so I can focus better. This month is adventure!
http://www.myjoyinchaos.com/home/2016/5/update-on-mays-goals-my-goals-for-june
Denise says
And what about those people whose child WAS born with a illness or disorder?
Yes, other aspects of my life are great, but I have a really hard time embracing them and looking past my difficulties and the loss I feel.
My child’s disorder leaves him in a screaming /whining mood 80% of the time and causes him to wake up 4-10 times a night, sometimes up for hours at a time, sometimes crying the whole time, no matter what I do.
I want to be positive and “embrace the life I am in now ” but I struggle and fail every day. I am very very tired and there is no hope for any improvement in our situation for years , at least.
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I can’t imagine what it would be like to walk in your shoes… I know we have many parents here who are going through similar things. I’m hoping one of them might have some words of encouragement for you.
I just stopped and prayed for encouragement for you today and for you to be surrounded with encouraging people.
Also, my friend Jodi blogs about life with a child who has special needs and I’m guessing you’d be encouraged by her blog: http://www.thesweetandthesalty.com/
Alexandra Kuykendall says
Hi Denise,
Thank you for your question here. I was thinking of YOU as I wrote this book. The woman whose issues are real. Who is asking, but what about THIS very hard right here? Yes, so many circumstances can be stepped over and we can continue walking. But some make us feel stuck and paralyzed to enjoy the now. I don’t want to trivialize what you are going through or say you should be “happier” than you are. Simply that I believe God is with you in it. He is with you in the middle of the night. In the shrieking moments. In the exhaustion. My prayer is you will sense him when you need him most.
Denise says
Thank you both for your responses. It is comforting for my struggles to be acknowledged, even by (or maybe especially by) strangers. I appreciate your prayers.
I will check out the blog and the book that you guys mentioned.
Chrissie says
I can empathize with you on that sometimes life is very hard and happiness is tough to come by. My son had leukemia and we always say as awful as it is, number one I know people who have it worse and two we have been given so many gifts through the horror of this journey. God has been right there with us every step and maybe we aren’t always happy but we have found joy through our journey. Happy is fleeting but joy is different. When my son is throwing up from chemo sometimes the only joy to be found is that I AM truly thankful for the chemo that is saving his life. It doesn’t mean it’s easy but looking for even the smallest joys in even the worst circumstances have helped us not survive childhood cancer but thrive. Our family is south stronger after what we have watched our baby endure. His siblings and we will forever be changed but for good. Our priorities are different and each day is a true gift. I love to see books written to encourage people to find joy in all circumstances. It’s a skill that has to be developed its much easier and more natural to see the bad. We were forced to learn quickly how to find the good in tough and I’m thankful God keeps encouraging us everyday to keep looking for it!
Julianne says
Oh, how I wish I would have relished those early years of motherhood! My oldest is almost 14, there were so many times I tried to live the perfect mom life, instead of just enjoying those messy, tired, imperfect moments. My youngest is 4, and I try to remind myself to just enjoy this time I have with all 5 of my kids still with me.
Thank you for sharing!
Oh and on a side note, watch Poldark. I never thought I’d find another PBS/BBC series I liked as much as Downton, but Poldark is amazing! Dare I say, even better than Downton! Season 2 will be starting this fall. I’ve rewatched season 1 three times already, it’s that good!
Crystal Paine says
Someone JUST recommended that show and I put it on our watchlist. Thanks so much for the recommendation!
Melissa Kaiserman says
I’m on the last episode of Poldark season 1 and am so sad because I don’t want to have to wait for season 2! I just started three days ago and kind of binge-watched. 🙂 So, so good.
Bethany says
Amen to everything you wrote, Crystal, and to the comments above. You all blessed my morning!
Crystal Paine says
I’m so grateful! Thanks so much for sharing!
Michelle says
I SO wish this was available at our local library. I find so many of the wonderful books you recommend aren’t and it’s frustrating …
I will keep an eye out for it!
Crystal Paine says
So sad! I’m not sure if you can request it or if they offer InterLibrary loan? If not, email me — I’d love to send you a copy as a gift! crystal @ moneysavingmom.com
Michelle says
I think it’s because I’m up in the Great White North … many of the wonderful books you mention aren’t to be found. 🙁
I will email you tough! that’s so very generous!!
Alexandra Kuykendall says
Crystal,
What a generous offer. Thank you for supporting Michelle this way.
Michelle,
I hope you enjoy the book and your actual life in the Great White North!
Danielle says
I agree with both of you. Each day is a gift that was not promised to us, and we weren’t promised a happy, healthy family, either. I am so grateful to God for all of His blessings, and even for those times when things are less than ideal. Someone out there is dealing with a worse situation than me. We’re not homeless, living with debilitating illnesses or scraping for food at every turn. God has truly been good!!
Crystal Paine says
Yes! Such a good word. Thank you for sharing!
Wendy Briscoe says
I once read somewhere there are people who would love to have the problems we are complaining about. We may grouch about our homes, and children and so much to do, but there are others who have no children, and long for one, or have no homes, and would love to spend a day cleaning their own home. Made me pause and think about even in my “grumblings” daily they are truly blessings IF I CHOOSE to see it that way.
Listen to the song” Blessings “by Laura Story
Danielle says
Amen, girl!
Danielle says
Thank You! After being up until 3am with my one week old and then missing my alarm completely this morning – you reminded me to stop and enjoy the moment.
I can get so caught up in what hasn’t been done that I forget the blessings!!! Who cares that I am not going to get it all done – I have a healthy baby that is a gift to be embraced!
If I get a shower – I will consider that a success!!!!
Crystal Paine says
I’m so glad that it encouraged you! Thank you for sharing!