Life Update: Baby picture overload, marriage with newborns, & seemingly slammed doors

Kierstyn turned 1 week old on Friday! loves baths, sleeping on her side (with her hands up by her face — this is how she always was in her ultrasounds!), riding in the car, and snuggling next to Champ.

(She absolutely loves baths! See a video of her getting her hair washed here.)

We love this girl so much and still cannot believe she’s ours! God is so good!

Silas and Kaitlynn have so much fun picking out clothes for the babies every day.

This boy is loving being a big brother!

We had our first outing with both babies on Monday. We took them to the pediatrician and then, because I was feeling so well, they were doing so well, and the weather was so beautiful, we ordered curbside pickup from The Grilled Cheeserie and then found a very secluded picnic table at a park to eat lunch at. The babies slept in their car seats for 30 minutes while Jesse and I enjoyed an unexpected date.

I know we have a lot of soon-to-be first-time moms here and if there’s one piece of advice I could give you, it would be this: make time for your man. Caring for a newborn can become an all-consuming job if you let it. And it’s easy to forget to prioritize your marriage in the process. Make time for your man… even if it’s just 5 or 15 minutes each day. Say, “I love you.”

Express appreciation. Look into his eyes and ask how he’s really doing. Talk about something other than the baby. Flirt with him. Give him 15-second kisses. And don’t apologize for your postpartum body. Show him through your words, actions, and attitudes that he is still your priority… even though your life has radically changed.

I wanted to close this post with something I shared on Instagram earlier this week:

My husband and I both come from large families. We hoped for a large family. And we’ve never used any sort of birth control or natural family planning.

After Silas was born (almost 12 years ago), we expected I’d get pregnant again within two years. But that didn’t happen.

After 10 years of trying and our biological clocks ticking, we decided to go through all the fertility testing — fully ready to do whatever it took to get pregnant. We were so excited & hopeful. I had even picked baby names!

Then, the test results came back saying that there was basically zero chance — with all of our issues — that we would ever be able to conceive. We weren’t even candidates for IVF we were told. We could go through with it, but we’d waste thousands of dollars because it wouldn’t work.

It was gut-wrenching. I came home that day and laid on the bed in a little ball and cried until I had no more tears. In a weird way, I had to grieve the loss of babies I had dreamed about so much they had become completely real to me.

That was almost exactly two years ago. Little could I dream that just two years later, we’d have not one but TWO babies at our house — one sweet little naturally conceived miracle baby and precious little baby we’d be fostering!

At the same time, I look back and see how God used that devastating news from the fertility doctor to change me as a person. To get me to a place of complete surrender. To give me newfound freedom to stop longing for what I didn’t have and start embracing the life right in front of me.

I said yes to two trips to India, a trip to South Africa, being more involved in our Discipleship Group at church, building relationships in our local community, co-leading the 8th grade girls’ youth group small group at church, investing more in my marriage and my kids’ lives, writing more books, speaking & travel opportunities, and stepping out in faith and saying yes to foster parenting.

My life is so much richer because of these last two years. And I see how God used a seeming slammed door to open up my heart in big ways. And I’m so very grateful.

Thank you to @jenniferdukeslee for the graphic above!