Last time, we talked about creative alternatives and simplifying things when it comes to shopping with children. While I hope that some of those ideas were helpful to many of you, when you find yourself in a situation where you need to head to the store with little children, here are some ideas and suggestions which have worked well for us:
Have a Very Organized Plan
::Plan a menu and a detailed grocery list. If you want a recipe for disaster when it comes to shopping with little children, go shopping without a plan. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Before you even so much as get into the car to head to the store, make sure your grocery list is complete. I’d suggest you go as far as to even make an aisle-by-aisle grocery list. I also find it helpful to have a separate list for each store in a separate envelope along with the coupons I’m planning to use at that store.
::Plan your method of operation. Think ahead of time where each child will sit and what they will do while you’re shopping.
::Rehearse what is expected of your children ahead of time. I personally think it is very important for children to know specifically what is expected of them. We can’t just assume they know how we want them to behave if we’ve not spent a great deal of time training them in this. Almost every single time before we head into the store, we review our family’s ground rules for shopping before we even get out of the car. This ensures that they know and I know that they know what is expected of them.
::Don’t shop at lunchtime or naptime. It will just make for cranky children and a frazzled mom. Plan your shopping trips when everyone is rested and fed. In addition, I’d recommend not shopping during peak hours — such as right before dinner. Not only will the store be less crowded, but likely you’ll find the other shoppers are a little more patient if it’s not dinner-hour rush.
::Have a back-up plan. If a child becomes fussy while you’re at the store, what’s your plan? Perhaps you can have a stash of snacks or suckers or travel games to dole out, depending upon what you feel is best. Whatever the case, definitely come prepared for possible diaper blow-outs, thirsty/hungry children, spills, etc. If you plan for the worst-case scenario, it won’t catch you by surprise if it happens!
Be Flexible
::When shopping with your children, they are your first priority. This means that sometimes you need to cut your shopping trip short or you need to completely revamp your plan or switch to Plan B or Plan F. Go into the shopping trip with a clear-cut plan, but also be prepared to roll with the punches, expecting that things likely aren’t going to go according to plan. Doing so will allow you to be a lot less stressed when the unexpected arises.
::Prioritize your shopping trip. I don’t know about you, but I often go into a shopping trip with a clear-cut list and plan, but I also have some extras on there as well. Things that I don’t necessarily need to buy, but which I want to price-check or a coupon which I think might possibly make for a good deal. Since it’s inevitable with children that mishaps will occur, starting your shopping trip with the must-do’s and must-buys and then move onto the extras if you have time and things are still going smoothly. If not, these extras can always be bumped until the following week or shopping trip
Relax and Enjoy the Ride
::Smile! 🙂 It’s amazing how far a cheerful attitude can go. The sooner we can learn to laugh instead of cry as moms, the calmer we’ll be.
::Praise your children. Children thrive on praise and I believe we should be showering them with it. So while you’re shopping, look for ways to give positive encouragement to your children instead of just constantly scolding them for misbehaving.
::Involve your children. Young children love responsibility. Give them little tasks to help you with while shopping. Maybe they could get the items on the lower shelves. Or look for blinkies. Or cross the items off the grocery list. Give them a job to do and praise them for a job well done!
::Enjoy your children. Lastly, have fun with your children. Talk with them. Laugh with them. Make shopping a fun outing, instead of a dreaded experience.
For Beginners
If you’re new to using coupons and shopping at multiple stores and feeling overwhelmed at how to juggle it all when you’re also bringing young children with you, here are some tips:
::Start Slowly. Don’t try to convince yourself you’re superwoman. You’re not. If you’ve never used coupons before, keep it very simple and slowly ease into it.
I’d suggest picking one store to shop at and working on planning a menu around the sales as well as using a few coupons to start out with. As you feel more comfortable and accustomed to things, you can slowly start adding in new stores, using more coupons and so on. But it’s much better in the long run to take it very slow than to try to juggle everything at once and quickly frustrate and burn yourself out.
::Choose Wisely. You don’t have to hit every deal. You don’t even have to hit most of the deals. Pick a few deals each week on items which are things you need and use and stock up on those. Even stocking up on a few month’s supply of just one item each week when it is at a rock-bottom price, can make a big dent in your grocery budget over time.
::Give Yourself Grace. This is something I’m learning afresh right now. You can’t do it all — but you can sure wear yourself out trying! Do the best you can do with the time and energy you have and be satisfied with that.
What are your best tips and tricks for shopping with young children? I’ve barely scratched the surface in what I’ve shared here so I’d love to hear your ideas — and I know others would like to as well!
photo by AlwaysBreaking
I wasn’t able to read the comments, but while reading the post this popped into my mind–you could label each item you need to buy by a letter or number, that way the toddlers really could help you cross off items on the list. It would take them 30 seconds+ to find the letter/number keeping them actively busy and allowing them to “help” during your shopping trip.
I make a habit of hitting the bathrooms FIRST THING. There’s nothing more tiresome than getting 2/3 of your shopping done, and having to stop everything to run to the potty! We also get a drink at the drinking fountain.
Sometimes I will give my older kids (8,7,3) one quarter to hold during the shopping trip, to use at the gumball machine on our way out the door. If they misbehave, they have to give it back to me, and it sometimes works.
I also have a 2 year old, who has lately taken to screaming when I first put him in the cart (he wants to walk like his older siblings). I just smile and go about my business, knowing that some days we have a great shopping trip, and sometimes not, and today must be our day. And when I see another mom struggling to get her shopping done with an an unhappy child, I just shrug and assume it must be her day, and keep on smiling.
(Honestly-shopping with kids in tow has forced me to shop more efficiently, by necessity. Without them,I tend to take more time and get stuff not on the list!)
Great article, but I must say that any woman with children who know how to save money using coupons while shopping, IS SUPERWOMAN 😉
Crystal,
What good advice to review ground rules. I always found that made a huge difference with my 4. The times I was in a hurry to get into the store, I always saw a lot more problems than when I took the couple of minutes to go over what was expected. My kids are getting a little older now and my youngest is in school, so I usually shop alone. Now I enjoy looking out for frazzled moms to give them a hand since I so clearly remember those days myself. 🙂
I let my 3 yr old walk, and the 20 month old goes on my back in the ergo. If he’s not on my back, he’s a sqirming mess in the cart. This has worked so well for months now, but I know I’ll have to bite the bullet in about 6 weeks when #3 arrives, and will claim use of the ergo.
Love the sucker and string cheese idea! I work so hard to make sure my kids aren’t “conditioned” to think they can buy something every time we’re at the store (be it a toy or food) but giving out those things would be a small concession on my part, and totally save my sanity. Plus I have a huge bag of yummy earth lollipops we’re slowly making our way through 😉
Yeah, shopping with my young ones is a bit of a challenge especially my boys. They fight, fight, fight. It gets to be a challenge and it makes shopping harder.
Crystal!! I love it that there is not alot of parenting advice when your children are tiny….
It is great to hear everyone’s tips. I have been shopping with four boys for, well, over 6 years now….and before that it was 3 boys…etc.
I love the string cheese tip, we used to do the cookie, but the store we go to does not give cookies.
I go over the ground rules too, and make them repeat them…it does not always work and there are times, we get out of the store and I want to pull my coat over my face.
i am always amazed though when i hear people comment on how my boys always listen and it makes me realize that at least I care, I love my kids, I do take them shopping and work with them and eventually they will get it as they are getting better. So, to others sometimes, what was horribly embarrassing was not so bad to them….i have learned which check out ladies to avoid though….
Gum. My boys, 2, 4, and almost 6 love it. Plus lots of the other strategies listed above are employed. 🙂
I have always taken my daughter grocery shopping so she really likes to go now. I let her pick out one treat. It is easy with just one, I know. She is funny she will ask if this is on sale or that is on sale or if we have a coupon LOL!
I agree with don’t take them tired or hungry. When she was a little younger I would let her push her own small grocery cart from home.
She loved that.
Lollipops can work miracles. That little blood sugar boost is a wonderful thing. Also the free cookies for kids in the bakery is a wonderful motivator. We don’t have a whole lot of sweets at home so the kids know if they are good they get a cookie when we pass thru the bakery and that is a big treat for them to look forward to.
My boys are 8, 6, 4, and 2. Honestly I will trade with a friend or shop when my husband is home whenever possible. Or I will go during a week day when the 2 older boys are in school, at least for the big trips. When I end up taking them all, which is still fairly often, I try to make sure it’s a shorter trip, because they try so hard to be good and please me, but if it’s too long they are bound to get into trouble and drive everyone crazy. Even when they are trying to be happy and help, they put their arms around each other, which turns into giggling and not watching people they are about to run into, then wrestling and then fighting….and we all end up stressed. So I try to take them a lot on the shorter trips (because I do think it’s good to teach them how to act), so that they see how good they can be and try to give them a lot of praise.
Every time we went to the grocery store my mom would allow my brother and I to pick out a new fruit or veggie to try. We were always so excited to have a single fruit or veggie that was just ours we were happy the entire trip. Maybe we were easily satisfied, but it always worked, plus it was a great way to get us to eat fruits and veggies.
Our Pedi, who has 4 children, has reminded me that the only way to have behaved kids is to take them out even when we would rather not, they learn that way, what is ok and what is not, my kids who at home are crazy monkeys are fairly well behaved in public, they are 6,4, and 2 and all boys so they get a bit wild sometimes, but they do make me proud when we are out, only because of the hard times we have had in the past and they have learned what is expected of them, I think she gave me a huge piece of advice. or at least it works for us. We went shopping today double coupons at a local store, we were there about 1 1/2 and they really only got in trouble once, we even visited the toy section were they could check things out but not buy, thats a tough one but they know we don’t have the money to go crazy and get stuff all the time, they also love garage sales and auctions, there they can almost always get something. Good luck to all the moms out there, its hard but helps when there are sites like this to get helpful advice, and tips.
When I was a kid, my dad would turn around and look at us all before we got out of the car, and discuss how we were to behave. My husband’s mom made them hold one hand on the cart, and the other hand went in their pocket. So I try to do both methods. Of course, I have to add, “Do we run away? Do we be quiet?” etc. Generally, I try not to take all three kids if I don’t have to!
Love all the helpful tips! I have two boys, aged 2 and 4, that used to do all the grocery shopping with me. Both our Kroger and Martin’s have carts that they can ride in and “drive” so they’re usually well behaved. Then one day last spring my oldest hadn’t napped at preschool. We had one item in the cart and they were bothering each other and getting louder and louder. I put that one item on the nearest shelf, wheeled the cart out and told them we were leaving. It meant I had to make the same trip into town (over 20 min) after they’d gone to bed but it was worth it. Since then I’ve decided to let my husband pick them up from preschool one day a week and I get all my errands done that day. If I do have to take them, I think I’ll the string cheese idea!
I also make sure I have my coupons and list in separate envelopes. I used to take my whole binder in with me and search for a coupon if I found a good deal but I’ve decided now that if it wasn’t on my list originally, I don’t need it that bad!
very good post. i usually take lollipops with me. that will usually keep my kids quiet and occupied almost the entire time. 🙂
I can totally relate to the struggles with the little ones. I have two boys and inevitably when I bring them to the store they get in trouble for 1) running (which I don’t allow) 2) wrestling/punching/fighting in the cart or 3) whining. I tried the reward thing–sometimes they get a drink or an Icee or just a ride on the 1 cent mechanical pony. Unfortunately that doesn’t always work. I find that my kids have a time threshold and beyond that I can expect the behavior to go down fast. My best strategy is to be super-prepared. Coupons organized for the list, list organized by aisle so I don’t have to backtrack, and all my transactions mapped out if I need to do multiples. Other than that, it is by the grace of God that I sometimes survive these trips! I do like going at night by myself but I do feel like it is a useful thing to have my boys learn to be respectful, quiet (reasonably), and obedient in a store. So, it is a sanctification process for me! =)
@Emily, Good point! Sometimes I forget that these difficult shopping trips really are learning experiences for my daughter.
I have a 3 month old and a 4 year old. My biggest gripe is that they take up all of the room in the cart (I can rarely trust my 4 year old to walk with me). Here is my strategy – i base my grocery list off of my coupons. 3 Welch’s juices, 4 Campbell’s soups, 5 Kraft cheeses, etc. It makes it super easy and fast, no rifling through my coupons because I fold my list in half and stick the coupons in the middle. That way, once everything is crossed off of my list, I jut check out without digging through my coupon folder and I know that I have every discount possible, and my daughter doesn’t have too much time to linger down one aisle whining!
As far as reviewing the ground rules before going…..that is an excellent trick and something that can be a little more formal too. I work with kids and adults with learning challenges and we use something called a “social story” (you can google that) to help review what will happen, rules and expectations for places that are overwhelming or new. Usually I will make up a story with pictures of the person or finding them online and then print them up, laminate them and put them in a binder for review. If you reward good behavior, add that in at the end. It is also helpful to add in good ideas for what to do if they are bored – sometimes we get so caught up in what not to do, we forget to tell them what they should do :). Then you review the story before going in. It could be something like: We are going for a shopping trip. Mommy gets the cart and I sit in the front seat. We go to the fruit section and pick out something yummy to put in our cart. I liked getting apples. I make sure to keep my hands inside the cart. Sometimes I sing a song about what Mommy puts in the cart. If it is something I really like, Mommy will let me hold it for a little while in the front seat. But if I throw it, I don’t get to anymore. …….
Best advice in this whole series!! 🙂
My son is 2 and has been shopping w me since he was born. I am making picture symbol list using pictures of products taken with my iPhone and llaminated. There is Velcro on the back of each. I put the pics of what we need on the”list” with quantity. We find what we need, take it off and put it in and envelope. I started with him looking for just a few items. But he really loves it!
I have always used shopping as a chance to talk about everything in store from the letters in the logo to the buttons to weigh the fruit — colors, texture, smell, size and taste of fruit and veggies, what we ate going to do with the ingredients etc, We look for smoke detectors and exit signs. We investigate bathrooms to see if the have a handle flush or a ” button” — my son’s currently potty training. We know so manylical store/farmer’s market employees bc who doesn’t enjoy petting a lobster and sitting on a forklift when they are just sitting there? ( that’s what my son gets for being cooperative). Our trips to the store/market take forever! But my son has a tremendous vocabulary and is great a matching pictures and items– both are more important than being in and out of a store.
I often pack a snack and water.
Great Post! My kids enjoy “searching” for blinky coupons. It keeps them busy on every aisle.
I have two children (ages 14 months and 3 1/2 years) and shopping with them is not super easy but it is always entertaining! I always bring lots of snacks and water for them which is my first line of defense against tantrums. My 14 month old daughter is starting the “I want to do what I want to do stage” so I try to sing her silly songs and tickle her while we are shopping to distract her. My 3 1/2 year old son has suddenly transformed from being very difficult to shop with to my little helper so he is so fun to have with me in the store (it just seems to take 3 times as ling because as any three year old, he has to inspect everything he sees and asks a million questions).
I always have a list with my coupons already pulled when I go the store because nothing is worse than sorting through coupons with whining children. It always seems no matter how much I prepare for a shopping trip that something always goes wrong. I get frazzled at the store but when I look back on the day I always laugh because in the end kids are kids and their little antics are what makes life interesting!
I think the times I’ve been the most frustrated is when I’ve made my detailed plan, but the store is completely out of what I need. I have to re-think what I could make and that gets frustrating.
My daughter is 2 & wants to do everything herself. At the grocery store we use the self scanning gun and she gets to scan all the groceries as we go through the store. This also makes checking out much faster. We always review the ground rule that is she wants to walk on her own she has to stay right by the cart or she has to ride.
The store I shop at has a horse ride near the checkout that only costs a penny. So as long as my daughter behaves she can ride the horse while we check out. I always go to the register thats nearest the horse so that I can watch her while I’m checking out. Sometimes it takes 4 or 5 pennies but it works everytime we shop!
Great ideas, Crystal. I’d also like to add that if I need to take my girls shopping with me, I sometimes choose the easier-to-navigate store over the cheaper store. With two small children and another on the way, this season in my life requires practicality over frugality some days. Along with other commenters, I also reward the girls for good behavior by letting them pick out a small treat if they do well.
Love all of these ideas! I have a couple to add. Since I shop at the same few stores I have gotten to know the people who work at the store…in the deli, in the aisles, at the check out. Now going to the store with my 5-year-old is all about saying “Hi” to our friends. We visit John in the Deli (he gives us a piece of cheese). We see Tyrone in the aisle ways (he used to play peek-a-boo when she was little). We wave to Linda at the pharmacy. We see Marge or Chris or Marialena at the check out. And she tends to get stickers from someone at the check out. I would also say, “Who should we check out with today?” and let her pick who we would visit with. She hugs two of the women now. They have given her balloons on her birthday…and my younger daughter who is one is now starting to recognize their faces when we go. As a society we have gotten away from that friendly neighborhood supermarket. This is still a big chain, but we have gotten to know the people that work there and it makes it nice for everyone.
I also got tired of getting hit up for anything and everything to eat in the store…so as soon as we get to the store we hit the produce section and pick out an apple. We weigh it and I put the sticker on my grocery list so the check out people can scan it. This helps with the “I wants.”
I love all of these ideas! I especially love the idea of giving kids an index card with a picture of an item on the shopping list- GENIUS!
Here is a shopping with kids story for you… Our family had a fun experience one time at Trader Joe’s. I LOVE this store (nothing in the store has artificial flavors, colors or preservatives), unfortunately I only get to visit it while I am visiting my sister in Rockford (shout out to Brooke!). At Trader Joe’s they have the cutest little shopping carts for the kids to push while shopping with their parents. I was super excited when seeing this because I thought my girls (my girls are 4, 2 1/2 and 1) could really participate with me in shopping and of course they LOVED the carts! Well… 5 minutes in to the trip and my heels were raw from my little inexperienced shopping cart drivers, the girls were fighting over who got to put what in “their cart”, we were taking up the entire width of the aisle because they both wanted to be right next to me… tears, lots of frustrations and loss of patience and I left Trader Joe’s happy to be RID of the mini shopping carts hoping to never see them again! In all actuality, the girls did have fun… but they were not quite old enough to operate their own cart and it is not something we will be trying again anytime soon! I still love you, Trader Joe’s!
My two favorite parts of this post were your child(ren) is/are “your first priority” and “give yourself grace”. Two absolutes that we should always remember.
My son is 10 now, but I still remember the day I thought I was hot stuff and brought those teething biscuits with me to the store. We hadn’t tried them and I thought it would be a great way to buy some time at the store. We did well throughout the whole trip until the very end. My son thoroughly enjoyed his teething biscuit. It was all over his face, his bib and down the rest of his body! I didn’t realize those things were so messy! I was okay with this (one of the small sacrifices we make as moms) because I got my shopping accomplished. But then he started fussing, then screaming in the checkout line. You know how people think you are the most wonderful mommy when your children are well-behaved. Well, my messy, hollering child and I got quite a few stares in checkout. That was the last time I gave my son those teething biscuits. I still love to tell that story! Makes me laugh and makes me a little more humble every time.
Blessings to all you mommies out there who are training your children in the way they should go and being flexible when things don’t go the way they should. : )
Good ideas. Except we lay down the ground rules EVERY SINGLE TIME and I swear, people think I have the worst behaved kids ever. They don’t care. They don’t care when they lose their privalege (like string cheese-we do that too, but they lose it more than they get it). I’ve tried having them find letters and numbers, I’ve tried letting them get stuff off the shelves, and everything ends up in a fight over who gets to do what. I came home from a shopping trip today. My kids will not be setting foot in a store for a very long time. =(
Pretty sure I just made everyone think I’m the worst parent out there. It’s ok. I’m pretty sure I am right now.
@Rachel C, I think we all feel like that at one time or another. So cheer up, you’re not alone. No one said mothering was easy (or if they did, they’ve never tried it before!)
The best thing which has helped me is to practice, practice, practice obedience and what’s expected *at home* before we attempt lots of shopping trips. And to consistently, consistently, consistently enforce consequences at home. Consistency is so hard, but when I stick with it, it really pays off.
And praise ’em for every single little thing you can find to praise ’em for.
Don’t give up, Rachel! I’m pretty sure we’ve all had shopping trips or outings where we feel like nothing we’ve spent the last five years of our life training them in has made any difference.
@Rachel C, I know I have felt like that at times too! We have all been there. The best thing I can say is that Parenting is an Art and not a science. There are not right and wrong ways to do it – you simply do it the best you can and keep on going. And sometimes the Monet pictures that have the blurry edges and seem blotchy up close end up to be the most beautiful picture in the end.
That said – here are a few tips from my experience of helping other parents problem solve issues (I’m a behavioral therapist) – if something doesn’t work for you after several tries (usually give it about 5 times), try something else. Sometimes a new strategy makes behavior worse before it makes it better because kids test limits of new rules and plans. Think about what is the most difficult part of your experience and brainstorm with a few nonjudgemental friends on how to tackle that one issue. Is it boredom? Try the list idea or bringing a handheld video game. Is it wanting everything they see? Give them $2 to pick something when they walk in the store and work with them on budgeting. If possible, work with kids one or two at a time to practice the new rules so you don’t have to swivel head mom while trying to implement new strategies.
I always love the reward idea but sometimes waiting until the end of the store is too long and some kids need a more immediate reward – stickers or a treat that you find appropriate halfway through. Or sometimes the reward is too hard to earn and needs to be simpler until they are ready for it. Rewards work best when they are easy to earn at first and gradually get harder (you can have a piece of candy in the checkout line if you do not run out of the aisle that mommy is in during this trip). You always want them to earn the reward more often than they don’t earn it. Otherwise it is too hard.
Hope this helps and doesn’t sound preachy. Much mommy love to you!
@Rachel C, I have so been there Rachel. I’m not sure how many children you have, but when I had 4 kids at home I had to find the time to take them one at a time with me to show them what was expected of them. They got some much needed 1 on 1 time too!
@Rachel C,
You aren’t the worst parent out there. You care enough about your kids to keep trying with them! My daughter was a perfect baby and well-mannered until age 3 1/2. She has since been diagnosed with a behavior problem and has had to attend a special school that is sensitive to her needs and she has come a long way. It’s not always your fault or the child’s fault, sometimes they are just going through a phase, or may need special guidance, but the important thing is perseverance and you sound like you’re doing great!
@Rachel C, Don’t feel bad! If you continue working to help them learn, you are an awesome mom. If you look a few posts above, I wrote about my special needs daughter… Our three kids were super challenging when they were young. They were wild and often disruptive. I wondered if what I was doing was working at all–but they’re 13, 16 and 19 now, and while still works in progress, I can see some lovely results. Have patience.
By the way, my grocery shopping strategy was to go at lunch time! I’d have the two youngest strapped into the fancy children’s seats on the cart, and dole out their lunch in tiny snippets–either food from home, or sometimes deli chicken nuggets (I saved the empty packet for the cashier–some might consider inappropriate but it helped us tremendously.) They were so busy munching that they didn’t ask to get out of the cart. The eldest, thankfully, was my “serious” child, who was happy to help shop. Unusual, but it worked for us.
@Rachel C, Over the last couple weeks I have let my 3 year old walk instead of riding in the shopping cart. He touches a lot of things, runs away, and hides from me. But the 2nd week, he still earned his treat at the end of the trip. Why? Because he did better than the week before. Eventually I expect him to do much better than he does now. The point is that he is learning to control himself.
And you are not the worst parent! It is hard bringing multiple kids shopping. I definitely have had trips where I wonder “Why did I just do that to myself?” Sometimes it makes us all happier for me to make late night trips. Having 6 tag along can be too much, and the older ones can be the worst!
I just have one (a 2 year old) but I almost always grocery shop with him. I let him get the racing car cart to “drive.” My store also hands out cheese at the deli and (small) cookies at the bakery which is about 1/2 way through the store. Between the cheese at the deli counter (always the longest wait) and the cookie 1/2 way through (hey, it’s only once every 10 days or so), we sail right through. Also, since he knows his letters now, we make it a game. I’ll say, “Mama’s looking for the spaghetti sauce with the ‘P’ on the label. Can you help me find it?” or “Which yogurt has a blueberry on the label?” He’s so busy eating cookies, “reading” labels, and counting bananas that he loves shopping.
Some other things I do is I will give my oldest (6 years) a list of his own. Its typically a short list and generally a list that he helped make out for his school lunches. He absolutely loves the responsibility and also enjoys picking out his own foods (upon mamma’s approval of course). For my three year old, the treat for him is going back to look at the fish inside Walmart. He knows if he’s good we’ll go back to see the fish. If he’s not so good then we don’t and that’s like the end of the world to him! I will also go as far as letting my three year old “push” the cart if the store isn’t too busy. I ALWAYS have snacks and drinks on hand and a little car or book for each child (yes I have a large purse, lol). Sometimes if mamma is feeling really good about the trip, they will each get a quarter for one of those stupid little machines at the front of the store, but they have to be next to perfect for that! 🙂
We have a set of index cars with the items we need to buy drawn on them (milk, butter, eggs, cereal, etc). When we get to the store I split them up between the kids, and they make sure we get everything that is on the “list” (the list is the cards). When we find the item we need, I take the card and put it back in the bag for next time. They usually see who gets all their items in the cart first.
@Jenn, COOL idea! My 3 year-old “assistant” would love that!
@Jenn, I love it! I wonder if there is a website that has printable pictures of all the typical groceries?
@Cricket, Try Microsoft Clip Art!
@Cricket,
You can also look in magazines and stuff- making the cards is part of the fun!
leave them home. lol
Great tips, as always I learned something new but DON’T LET THEM HOLD YOUR COUPONS!!! Even my older kids have trouble with this. They will see something they want and lay the Qs down. Or I find them stuck under the baby’s leg AFTER I leave an item at the check out. Now, if you have an expired Q that you can’t use -perfect- chances are they’ll never know the difference!
@Cricket, THANK YOU for mentioning that. Very. good. point. I’m going to edit my article so I don’t cause an epidemic of lost coupons around the country. 🙂
hmmmm…I’m intrigued by your “review the ground rules” part. So what are your ground rules for the kiddos? I had a somewhat stressful Target run today where my biggest mistake was going between snacktime and lunchtime. My 3 year old wanted every snack in the aisle!
@Emily, I have a policy that I don’t give out parenting advice online when it comes to how to train your children because we’re still just figuring out what we’re doing here.
However, if our children grow up to be responsible adults (and we pray heartily that they do!), then I promise that in 20 or 25 years from now, I’ll be happy to give details and specifics.
@Crystal,
I agree with Crystal! Ground rules can be pretty subjective to each family. I have a close friend who insists her kids MUST have one hand on the cart AT ALL TIMES- where I hate (with a passion) kids hanging and pulling on the cart.
@Jenn, What a thoughtful reply… (although I really wouldn’t mind hearing what works for you, Crystal) but, parenting advice really calls for a lot of sensitivity… I remember a time when my 6 year daughter was screaming and thrashing outside the preschool where we had to pick up her little brother, and some lady walked up and said “I know what that child needs.” What a stranger would not know, is that she has special needs, and spent too much time in kindergarden that morning, so she was completely overstimulated. The last thing that would have helped her behavior would be a sharp or physical response. And, with a thrashing older child, trying to have a quiet “zen” reaction, the last thing that I needed was criticism.
Crystal, you crack me up! You are one wise woman!!
@Laura, If it’s wisdom, it’s only been gleaned from talking about stuff I have no experience in and then ending up sticking both feet in my mouth! 🙂
@Crystal, Aww, but your girls seem SO well-behaved! I would LOVE to know your secrets!! (I have two VERY stubborn toddlers and am trying every trick in the book with them…and having very little success.)
@Emily Johnson, Um, have you *met* my children? 😉 They are huge blessings and I love ’em to pieces, but we definitely have some strong-wills we’re working with. I, um, wouldn’t know where they get those from. Ahem. 🙂
@Emily, I have three active little boys ages 4 and under. Only one can stay in the cart now, so that means I need to keep the other two in check while shopping or I’m in trouble. I know for us, “reviewing the ground rules” before stepping into the store and then simple reminders on each tempting aisle is nearly all the difference between a successful shopping trip and a disaster with the kids.
Basically, I just ask the kids these four questions while they are in the car and before they are allowed out of their car seats: “Do you touch what is not yours?” “No.” “May you look?” “Yes.” “If you ask for it, will you get it?” “No.” “If you put it into the cart without permission, what will happen?” “Get a consequence.” While in the store, I try to be attentive as to what kind of temptations they are facing moment by moment. If they look like they are standing too close or tempted to reach for something, I remind them of the rules by asking them again. Helping them think before they act is so beneficial.
They do make poor choices in spite of the reminders anyway at times, but in those cases, it is so easy for me to be objective about how to proceed since I know that I was clear and consistent.
I totally agree. And I understand why Crystal doesn’t want to be specific! Just talk about ways that you could re-do that awful Target trip (been there!). Like, “Is is OK to hide under the clothing racks…..?” “Do you always need to stay where Mommy can see you?” State the simple consequences, and repeat this every time you go to a store. It takes time, but it will work. Either that, or they just get older and easier to shop with =)
The dairy aisle is the last one I go down and my boys each get a .25 cent cheese string if they have behaved – it only took one time of them losing it for them to learn I am serious about the cheese string being only for boys with good behavior.
A .50 cent treat every week – or $26 a year – is SO worth it to me! 🙂
And if this were facebook I would “like” this post. 🙂 Well said!
@Jessica Lynette, Oh, I love this idea because string cheese is a HUGE treat at our house. I think I might steal your idea. 🙂
@Crystal, When my kids were younger, we would hit the produce area first. They could choose a piece of fruit or a vegetable to try. This plan had several purposes. 1. they already had an item, they can’t ask for more. 2. they could lose the item for misbehavior 3. it allowed us to try new foods that they normally would refuse. Granted, I limited their choices at fit my budget but they never knew. Kiwis and star fruit are the first things that come to mind that cost 25-50 cents.
@Jessica Lynette, Yup! I’m stealing it too! 🙂 I shop mainly at Publix but have to avoid the bakery section because they give HUGE free cookies to the children and my children aren’t accustomed to eating that much sugar! On the other hand, my Publix will give children a banana in the produce section, so I will go to that section last so they can get their treat. (They also give out balloons at the cash registers, but we are all allergic to latex so I have to avoid this too.)
@Charity, My Publix also has the option of a chicken finger from the deli instead of a cookie or banana. Might be another idea. I don’t like the giant cookies either, so when I do let them have one instead of the banana or chicken finger, I just ask for 1 and split it 3 ways. They’re just happy to have it.
@Brandy, My Publix gives out what I would consider regular size cookies. The definitely have giant size ones in the case, but those are not the ones they give away. Although not the healthiest, it is free and we get it last (it only took one time of losing the cookie for this to work). They also give out balloons at the cash register, which is a good motivator for behaving while we are actually in line and paying (and the cashier is sometimes taking forever to go through my coupons) because the cookie is long gone by then especially if I have a very coupon-persnicketty cashier (I have a favorite one I look for when possible).
Thanks for all the tips on grocery shopping. I’m one of those who wondered how in the world you did it! I have four children ages six and under and have decided – that for me – hitting the deals each week with coupons is just impossible. For the sake of my sanity, I stay out of the store as much as possible, which means missing lots of great deals. But my husband is pleased with my grocery budget, and it works for us! Thanks for letting us know that we don’t have to be super woman!
Gina
I haven’t used them yet, but both of my regular stores have a children’s play area that is free to shoppers. It is certainly a nice alternative. They are entertained, you can focus on shopping and everyone is happier for the experience. Some of our friends use them and are happy. The kids have to be potty trained.
@Angela, Wow, what kind of stores are those?!?
@Emily Johnson, Actually, it is Giant Eagle (offers Eagle’s Nest – http://www.gianteagle.com/in-store-services/eagles-nest) and Buehlers (a local chain offers Kidz Park- http://www.buehlers.com/cnt/justforkids.html). The services are free and they have arts and crafts, computers and more.
@Angela,
The Whole Foods near my house has something similar for older kids. There are some toys and some crafts that they can do while you shop. I have never used it but look forward to it when my daughter is old enough!
@Angela, I am so jealous! That is a great buisiness plan because moms don’t have to cut their trips short because of cranky kids and have time to browse a bit.
Festival Foods also has a ‘tot spot’ where you can drop your children off.
@Liz,
I was just going to mention Festival. Are you from WI 🙂
@Angela,
We have those here (for 2-6 year olds) and I LOVE them! My kids love the novel toys and Disney movies and I get an hour to shop unhindered (ok, except for the baby).
I started turning my shopping cart around the opposite way and pushing the narrow part so that my daughter can face out when going down the aisle! It works! I get stares, but I don’t care! 🙂
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