Last Monday, I was having a really difficult day. I had a bad attitude. I was tired. And I simply did not want to do Monday.
Instead, I wished that I could have three more restful Sundays. Anyone else ever felt like that??
But I couldn’t have three more Sundays, so instead, I had to dive into work — whether I wanted to or not. I had a long list of business to-do’s to complete early on in the day and a lot of projects that needed to be taken care of as soon as possible.
My attitude spilled out into emails I was sending about these projects. I wasn’t rude, but I certainly wasn’t being warm and gracious. Instead, I was businesslike and straightforward in my emails. No, “Thank you so much!” closings or kind words sprinkled throughout the emails, like would be my usual way of writing.
The Email That Made All the Difference
I didn’t even realize I was doing this. But one woman whom I was emailing about some of the pressing projects did.
And she emailed me and said something to the effect of: “Are you okay? Because it doesn’t seem like you’re okay. You just don’t quite seem like yourself today.”
I Needed An Attitude Adjustment
That email stopped me in my tracks and made me realize that I needed an attitude adjustment. When I took a moment to think about her questions, I realized she was right.
I wasn’t doing well, I wasn’t having a good attitude, and I hadn’t started my day well. I had charged right into my day, and I hadn’t taken the time to prepare myself — spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or even just practically.
After receiving the e-mail, I read it to Jesse and we talked about it. He helped me to step back and feel less overwhelmed by the to-do’s and then he suggested some things I could delete off my list and some other things I could delegate so that the day didn’t feel so daunting anymore.
Within just an hour of getting that simple email, I felt completely different. I was calm and cheerful instead of stressed and frazzled.
That one simple email where someone took the time to ask if I was okay completely changed my day. Because someone took the time to care, notice, and ask what was wrong, it made me step back and examine what was really going on inside my own head and heart. And it motivated me to stop rushing ahead while feeling frazzled.
That email reminded me that I need to be more observant of other people’s lives and feelings, too. I need to ask more often, “Are you doing okay?” when I feel like someone isn’t acting like themselves.
Today, take time to ask how someone really is. Take time to smile. Take time to speak a kind word. Take time to look into someone’s eyes and listen — really listen — to what they are saying.
Write that note, send that text, make that phone call, invite that person over, or do that little extra something to let someone know that you care and that they matter.
We can’t do everything, but we can do something.
We can’t help everyone, but we can help someone.
We can’t change the entire world, but we can make a difference in one life.
You never know what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes. You don’t know the heavy burdens they are carrying that maybe they can’t even share. Take time to notice people today — to ask a question, or to say you will pray for someone. You never know what kind of huge difference it may make in a person’s day.
Ana Regina says
Thank you for the encouraging words . You keep inspiring me to improve every day.
Annie says
Excellent post! It reminded me of one day not long ago when I was talking with a co-worker, and he just didn’t seem like his usual self. He was less talkative and less upbeat. I noticed, but I didn’t say anything. Three days later he died suddenly of a massive heart attack. At the funeral, his wife said he had no previous history of heart probIems. I often wonder if he was having symptoms that day and kept it to himself. Maybe if I had asked……
Laura says
Love this and this perspective, Crystal. We feel the exact same way about our adoption. While our heart simply breaks for the 147 million orphans in the world and we wish we could help them all in some way, we know that by adopting our two kids from South Africa that it will make all the difference in the lives of two precious children, and we’re thankful to be a part of God’s greater story.
Jaime says
I love this. I need to remember this. Plus, I’m selfishly hoping that I am better about doing this, I’ll get that care and concern back 🙂
Erma says
I shared this on my FB page. I was having a hard day yesterday & if someone would have just asked me “are you ok” it would’ve made the day so much better. I too will try and make a difference in someone’s life today. Thank you!
Crystal Paine says
I’m SO sorry you had a rough day yesterday! 🙁
Kelly Cox says
I love those types of emails…God uses people in just the right moments. My goal is to always CHOOSE joy – not that I always do – but I try and remember to do that. Also, a friend, my husband and the Lord will often inspire and encourage me. Thanks for being transparent – we all have those days! Praying today is GREAT!
Theresa L says
So true. My mother used to say that a kind word or a smile is free. You just never know how it will help someone.
Staci says
I want to say that is so nice that your friend noticed you as a person and didn’t take offense, read into anything, or take things personally that don’t need to be taken personally. That is in tune and a blessing to you who is “off” for one day out of many! Thanks for sharing.
Emily says
So great that you passed this encouragement on to your readers. I’m glad you turned your day around so quickly. Now that I am a mom, I have noticed how important it is to slow down and really connect with people throughout the day. Often when we are in public, people want to smile and talk to my little guy. He puts a smile on their faces, and I’m glad to know that we can be an encouragement to them just by taking the time to be friendly.
Crystal Aguilar says
What a great post. I love reading everything you post but like others have said, this one in particular was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you for always being so inspiring & positive. I’m so glad you’re doing better too!
Stacy says
I love this! I love that someone took the time to check in with you and see that you were ok. She wasn’t angry, but expressed genuine concern. I also love that you took her words to heart and really looked to see what was going on.
I hope today is a good day!
Crystal Paine says
Today HAS been a good day! I hope it’s been a good day for you, too!
Uma @ Centsible Indian says
Need this reminder today.
Anne says
Great post and great reminder. I hope you’re still finding time to care for yourself. How can your readers encourage and help you during your recovery?
Crystal Paine says
I have been taking it *really* easy this week, pacing myself, and making sure to get plenty of sleep.
Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement — you bless me so much!
Siné says
I got a message like that from my mother-in-law today in response to a bible verse I had posted on my facebook page. I have been having a rough couple of weeks and I was so grateful for her concern and the chance to express what I was going through. She also let me know that she was praying for me. It is amazing how a simple caring question can turn a day around. 🙂
Crystal Paine says
I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough couple of weeks. 🙁
Stephanie says
Great post with the perfect timing. I’m having one of those days today. Your posts are always a blessing to read, Crystal. 🙂
Crystal Paine says
I’m so sorry you’re having a rough day! 🙁 {Hugs!}
Alison Lange says
Thank you for sharing! I’ve been following your Make Over Your Mornings course, and it has made such a difference. You’re right, though. If I dive straight into working when I’m having my morning coffee instead of taking some time to relax, reflect, and start my morning on the right foot, it changes my entire day. It’s funny that others can notice a difference, too!
Yesterday, I wrote a post about 6 things to do to make yourself feel better so you can answer honestly (and positively) when someone asks how you’re doing. It’s so funny that you wrote this post today. It’s so important to remember to make others feel better (and notice when they’re not). Thanks! Sharing now!
Crystal Paine says
What a great post idea! Thanks for writing it and thanks so much for sharing!
Joy says
What a great reminder…..take the time to love someone, get outside yourself and ask about them…and then REALLY listen. I can so do that… 🙂 Great post!
Tamara says
Very good post!