Ask the Readers: Celebrating Christmas in a meaningful way?

I’ve had this problem before. We’ve done the drawing names thing and that works well. However, now that we live out of state and away from all of our family, gift giving inexpensively has gotten tougher. I love handmade gifts, but doing the “cookie in a jar” or things like that aren’t practical when you factor in the shipping (which can cost more than the gift!)

So I’ve turned to more handmade items, like a calendar with my kids’ pictures on it. Snapfish usually has good deals on that. Or handmade items from the kids. That way, the kids are making the gifts and they’re more personal.

When it comes to my own kids, I try and buy things throughout the year or when I find good deals. Also, my kids do not ask for a ton of presents. They are told to ask for just a couple things they might really want and they are just fine with that. Now, that doesn’t mean that they’re only getting 2 or 3 gifts but they have also been taught from a very young age the value of money, that this season is not about presents and spending money, it is about Jesus. So they don’t ask for those pricey toys. And they don’t *expect* a lot.

Hello!

I love all the grate ideas shared. We are pretty big believers about keeping Christmas simple.

So many people feel pressured to buy more and more to build a bigger and better Christmas Experience. It is so sad; I wonder if we would all enjoy the holidays more if we were not so concerned with turning them into a big production.

I recently wrote about a simpler Christmas here:

http://farmhomelife.blogspot.com/2008/10/getting-ready-for-christmas.html

Take Care,

Trixie

My mom’s side of the family had all agreed to just get together for dinner and games, without the gifts. It wouldn’t hurt to approach your family about that.

I read this cool idea in a newspaper: A charity auction of homemade goods. Each person or each family makes an item. It can be from very simple (a child’s drawing) to elaborate (a quilt) or even a food item. Each item is auctioned off. The winning bidder keeps the item. All the money raised goes to a charity. Or maybe each family could choose a charity and split the money by the no. of families attending.

Here’s an idea requiring some planning ahead throughout the year, but it’s one that I hope to implement in the future. I plan to collect all the freebies I can get and either sell them on e-bay or at yardsales. All profits will be put into a gift giving fund. That fund will be the budget I set for myself year-round for our family’s giving.

My husband and I are blessed with two large extended families who generally understand tight budgets. We usually have Polyannas (choosing one family member’s name out of a hat to give too) or we give gifts to the elementary children only. The rest of us give as we please to our churches. We also may give cookies, fudge, or homemade gifts to each other if we wish, but there is no pressure or expectation for that.

As our children grow (they are too small to understand at this point) we hope to have a birthday gift for Jesus fund that our children participate in by giving portions of the money they earn from doing chores around the house and yard or neighborhood. We are still working out the details of the plan here, but here are some of the ideas. We have considered having a gift box with a slit in the top where the kids put change they collect throughout the season. Also, I have thought we could raise money as a family for the box through different bake sales and yardsales. The box would be opened and the money counted on Christmas morning and the children will have the oportunity of writing letters to the pre-arranged recipients of the gift at that time. Then the money will be sent to a missionary or special fund for those in need. The children will also be encouraged to choose one of the best gifts they receive for Christmas to share with another child who does not have the same privileges as ours might.

My 9-year-old has a large extended family and each year she makes a homemade gift. Last year we went to Goodwill/Salvation Army and picked out different shaped vases, jars, and bowls from the millions of glass pieces they have there for $0.99-$1. Then we bought a bottle of Mod-podge at Michaels and a package of colored tissue paper at the dollar store. She had so much fun tearing up the tissue paper into small pieces and using the hodge-podge to glue it onto the glass pieces. it dries into a stained-glass look (a good idea to add a final coat yourself when the kids are done) and each piece was unique. the family loved it and it cost next to nothing.

I found the idea at an art teachers’ website here:
http://www.princetonol.com/groups/iad/lessons/elem/elem40.html

I have ten kids of my own and I also have 9 siblings in my family. We have no money for b-day or Xmas presents. We simpily tell the kids we are giving any presents this year but we’ll play games and have have a party. It’s hardest on the little guys because they don’t understand but I get hand-me- down toys that I save for such occasions.
I know this doesn’t slove your problem for people who you really feel like you want to or should give presents to. I just try to be creative with those guys. I save gifts when I feel I can get away with in order to regift! OUCH! I can’t believe I just admitted to that but it helps me save face and it’s usually something I’d love to keep so I feel like it’s a sacrifice of love. Am I awful for doing that?

I also make these Xmas balls out of photos. Family members really love it. You cut out circles and use a pentagon shape to score the photos and glue all the edges. It Takes 12 circles. And then I glue glitter on the edges where they didn’t meet all the way.

One idea is to bless others instead of giving gifts. Most of us don’t need anything else. So find a local rescue mission where you can volunteer to serve a meal, pack shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child will all your freebies and cheap deals you get http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
make a donation to http://www.worldvision.com and bless children with essentials
make a donation to an orphnage in Africa so that children can have essentials http://www.africaourownhome.org/index.html
or buy a few simple beautiful pictures and frame them http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/thumbpage.aspx?e=3882552 Pictures take up less space!

We draw names in my family, and then have a spending limit for that person. All the kids go together and get a gift for the parents. Other than that, we do handmade gifts and home-made food. I really feel that most adults don’t want or need more “stuff” and that Christmas is about spending time focusing on family, friends and faith. When we’ve had to travel for Christmas, we don’t buy presents because we spent our money getting there. In the times in our lives when my husband and I have had exra income, we’ve loved being able to buy and extra-special gift at any time of the year and never cared about getting something in return.

My husband has a large family, so this year we’re making it all about the kids. Instead of buying gifts for all the adults, the adults are going to draw a childs name and buy a gift for them only. We set a $25 limit for each child. The older children can get involved by helping select the gift for one of their cousins. We’ll see how it goes this year. I’m definitely looking forward to it since all the adults seem to have everything already.

I feel like everyone has already said so much. But in my family the “adults” drew names, because it got so expensive. And set a $50 limit, or something. But could give gifts to kids. This year, we are using rewards points from our credit card to get gift cards for people (just got married this year, so it’s our first Christmas). We also made our own vanilla and found cheap bottles online. I plan to package them up with a recipe of the vanilla, and maybe for cookies or something. It’s relatively cheap, and simple. When we were kids, my mom had us make towels, ornaments, etc. Ornaments can be found for pretty cheap, and you can just swirl glue around inside for a cute effect, perfect if you have kids. We also used to do the cookie giving thing too!

There is also the idea of buying someone a “goat” for Christmas. Where you donate to world vision to buy a goat for a family, in honor of another family member. Lots of options with that.

I have read through most of the comments, but what my family has done over the last few years hasn’t been recommended. We have a get-together for visiting and eating (it *is* what we Southerners do best!). During the visiting and eating time, you anonomously put cash in a basket that has been marked…we finish eating and gather, count the money…We then go around the room and tell what charity we would give the money to if our name is pulled out of the “hat”….there have been suggestions in the past like: Food Bank, Over Seas Missions, Children’s Hospital, Humane Shelter…and more…

The first year we did this, we “fixed” it so my Grandfather would get to choose, but last year I WON!!! We had collected right around $750 that went to Children’s Harbor, a safeplace and camp for sick children.

It has been a blessing to give instead of receive!

This year has been really tough for our family too and since I’m a new stay at home mom we have way less money than what we had last year so this year my whole family and my mother and sister’s family have decided to draw names for gift exchange. This means we are not going to be buying one individual gift to everyone and it will save us a lot more money. And to make our Christmas special and more meaningful the kids usually do a little Christmas play in our living room about the birth of Jesus and we read a few chapters from the Bible.

One thing that I do (although it’s really too late) is start shopping early. I bought several of this year’s Christmas presents at last year’s after Christmas sales (you know, the Dirty Santa presents where people draw numbers and pass them around?) I also use cokerewards points or credit card rewards to buy gift cards (husband’s boss) and I try to keep my eyes out for good deals all year long.

Several years ago we made the decision to not do extended family gifts anymore. We suggested to other family members that if they just had to spend on something, donate it to a family or a charity. This allows us more time to enjoy each other and to concentrate on the Savior. It also frees up time that we would have spent in stores buying gifts that no one really needed anyway. The only exception to this is if we have someone who is in serious need in our family (last year my sister’s husband did not have a job and they were unable to provide for their children’s basic needs so we sent them some money to help with food and clothes). It also teaches our children that we should truly give to the needy, not just give because it is socially acceptable.

We pick an amount (usually$10 but you could do $5), and everyone spends that money on someone who needs it in the person they draw’s name. It could be donate to salvation army, but material with it and make baby blankets for the pregnancy crisis center babies, buy something for a kid who isn’t getting anything for Christmas. We actually did it as any time during the year you could do it! Like my mom went rummaging and got a lot of girls cloths cheap and sent them to my cousin whose name she had drawn, and didn’t tell until christmas they were from her.So, she got packages all year long. Or, give it to a kid who needed a little extra money to be able to go to church camp that year. buy a few extra food items for someone to have a great thanksgiving. The ideas are endless. But, you do it and then don’t tell what you did in the other persons name until christmas! Another idea is that we draw names at Christmas for the next year and do a rummage sale gift exchange! Where you set an amount and everything you get has to be from a rummage sale or clearance rack. You can get a lot of things at a rummage sale for $5 or $10! You could do an after Thanksgiving day sale and find your gifts then! There are a lot of bargains. Hope this helps a little!

We are tired of the commercialization of Christmas too, and started new traditions in our family, especially now since many of our elder family members have passed on and the old traditions can no longer be done.

Starting the weekend of Thanksgiving, we celebrate Christmas the whole month by doing special activities. First is putting up the tree. We don’t just try to hurry and put it up; we invite relatives over, turn on the Christmas music, have a fire going and have hot apple cider or hot chocolate as we all work on it together. The next weekend we may go to my parents house and put up their tree in the same manner, or we will all sit down and work on Christmas cards (either handmaking them or signing off on store-bought) always with the Christmas music playing. Other activities are Christmas Baking Day, caroling, reading the Nativity while we put out our Nativity Set, baking a birthday cake and and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. The important thing here is to take your time, enjoy the activities, and invite your friends and family to join in. Gifts become secondary in their minds when you’ve put so much effort into celebrating the season.

When it comes to gifts, hand made ones are great! Or a small , thoughtful gift is better than just buying something (anything!) in a “suitable” price range.

Some of my favorite gifts I’ve received have been: a recipe “scrapbook” that had the family recipes in it. Each page had a relative’s well-known recipe and a picture of that person on it. I cried. My brother in-law, who is a Pastor, performed the baby dedication of my now 8 year old daugher, but never gave me a certficate or a copy of the services. Last year I received it. I cried. I cleaned out my home office and found a copy of a Special Edition TV Guide on the 35th Annversary of Star Trek in perfect condition. I gave it to my dad who is a major Trekkie. He was speechless, and couldn’t put it down.

I know you probably have relatives that just expect you to pay a lot a money on a nice gift (I have those too), but they’re just being selfish and missing the point of what Christmas is all about.

I think that photographs make wonderful gifts and they are great if you are on a budget. In the past I have taken pictures of my family (cousins, kids, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc) throughout the year and I sometimes make a collage which you can do throught Walgreens or CVS, or I print them from home. Everyone loves these because they are pictures they haven’t seen before. You can even add scripture on the bottom of the photos if you use Walgreens/CVS or if you have a program on your own computer. You can frame them..or not it’s up to you, but a great place to get inexpensive frames is Ross/TJ Maxx/etc. I too have a very large familes and I am always looking for ways to cut costs, but also still make it personal and from the heart. I hope this helps.

I have to say that I can sympathize all too well with your situation. My husband and I are looking at Christmas this year with a 0 dollar budget. In his family the adults all say,” let’s just buy for the kids” then our gift opening rolls around and they’ve bought gifts for everyone. The first year this happened we were the ones who looked dumb because we only bought for the kids. The next year we wised up and purchased gifts for everyone and someone else in the family didn’t and felt dumb. I have been trying to think of what my husband and I can do this year…here are some questions we are asking ourselves in light of the fact that our budget is low and we want Jesus to be the reason for our season:

1.How can we glorify God best? especially with our limited “Christmas” finances?
2. What is best for our family? (meaning my husband, my daughter and I)
3. How can what we do be a witness to our unsaved family and an encouragement to our saved family?

Here are my thoughts…
1. What things can be done to make it more about Jesus?
For us:
-we don’t do Santa (which is one step away from comercialism)
-we get our daughter ONE gift from each of us (not 20)
-we read the Christmas story and sing Christian Christmas songs (even though our daughter is too young to understand we still wanted to start this tradition)
-our gift giving strategy for others is changing this year
(I like the idea of sending a letter to our family…maybe asking that if people still want to give us a gift to give money and we will donate it to a missionary or local ministry)
Now I know these things sound “uncomfortable”…but that’s part of our Christian witness is being different and it’s going to make others (and sometimes other Christians too) uncomfortable. Our point should never be to be legalistic or force other people to jump on our band wagon, but to be a light in the darkness. (Mark 4:21, Luke 11:33)

I hope you find these ideas and verses encouraging, and remember this Christmas: It’s not about what other people think about us…it’s about glorifying God and doing what’s best for your family. I pray for God’s wisdom for both our families!

Books, books, books!

All of the cousins started exchanging books. They write a personal message inside with the date, too. Books are cheap! Books can be purchased in the Scholastic order forms that come home from school for $2.00 or less or check out the rack of high interest children’s paperbacks in Barnes and Noble for only $3.99. Draw names or give one books per family if there are a lot of kids to buy for.

I’ve also decided that everyone is getting the same gift this year! We sponsor a little girl in Rwanda, so we’re giving everyone coffee from Rwanda. Everyone drinks coffee, and we’re helping our sponsored child’s country! If you’re interested, check out http://www.landofathousandhillscoffee.com

Just give as you are able.
Do not worry about making it even out.
We don’t do big gifts anymore, and asked that we not receive big gifts. But of course one family member of limited resources (MIL) still wants to buy big gifts. Well I can’t stop her; she will still get the little gifts from us, what else can we do? I do try to make it something thoughtful and wanted.
Also there are some family members who just make a LOT more $ than we do, so when they give something that costs a lot, I don’t stress over it, but receive graciously.

But in general, it seems to work to simply stop giving big gifts, the receiving end of it will slow down, LOL.

Also sometimes what we do is offer a meal instead; have people over to the house and cook something nice.

We buy gifts for only one family member per side of the family. We write down everyone’s name on a chart from my side of the family. Then each sibling is assigned someone (and their family) for Christmas. Everyone then rotates to the next person on the chart for the next year so you get a chance to do everyone eventually. We also do this for my husband’s side the family. This has helped us tremendously and all of the family members on both sides really like it because you can focus on just that family and no one gets their feelings hurt. We ALL appreciate how much money it’s saving us too.

I also start looking earlier in the year for gifts that I could get because I already know who I have for that year. I am focused on their needs/likes/wants and can find something just for them (or make something) starting from the beginning of the year. By Christmas time, we have plenty to give without hardly costing us anything or stress!

The best part of our family Christmas growing up was the stockings before dinner. So now that us grandkids are grown, and I have two small children, my family will gather and we all do stockings only. Only now they’ve expanded into buckets- everyone gets bucket stuffers. People with more money will buy more expensive things, and those of us with less make more heartfelt gifts. For my grandmother and my parents, I also give a donation to Heifer International. They are a wonderful charity that is working to reduce poverty and increase self sufficiency and community in impoverished areas. Heifer.org.

This year I am making home made heating pads and ice packs for our buckets, and throwing in lots of stuff I’ve gotten cheaply at CVS. I’m trying to accumulate ECB’s to buy lots of pink pedeggs for the ladies also, since my aunt has breast cancer. Small things like supporting Pink are appreciated, and it isn’t about how much money we’ve spent.

We really cant afford to do a lot for Christmas because my husband and I both have large families. It costs so much!! But, we really wanted to get everyone something. So for the people that we just needed something small for, we got them each a gift certificate from http://www.restaurant.com. You buy a $25.00 gift certificate for $10.00 so you are saving $15.00. Once you buy one for $10.00, you are on their email specials list. They have 50%, 60% and 70% off sales all the time, ESPECIALLY before christmas. I put in my family member’s zip code, saw a nice restaurant, and bought a 25.00 gift certificate for ONLY FOUR DOLLARS!!!!! It helped us with saving money and everyone got something nice. You have one year to use it; SOME places make you spend 50.00 to get the 25.00 off, but not all of them and they are still saving a lot. I just printed them out on nice Christmas paper. Also, if you refer a friend, through their websites email referral page, if that person buys a gift certificate, then you get a free 10.00 cert.

Our family has struggled with this issue, too. We solved it by making a Christmas Wheel as descibed in The Tightwad Gazette (like drawing names). We set a small price limit ($25.00) and everyone puts on their paper about 10 items in that price range. That way no one spends money on useless junk and it is still a surprise. In my extended family we play the game of bringing one unlabeled gift ($10) and swapping them. At our family reunion (held in November) we spend the afternoon making a craft together. We rotate volunteering to bring the supplies for everyone. We have also given to charities and doing mission work in place of gifts, but I have to say that I like to give gifts that show the recipient I was thinking just of them. That is why I love yard sales and thrift shopping. I have found great gifts (or supplies for them) for very little money.

We have the same problem in our home. One way we have found to help bring Jesus back to Christmas…especially to our unsaved family and friends…is to participate in Samaritan’s Purse’s Christmas catalog ordering. You make a donation in someone’s name for certain mission outreaches. It could be buying baby chicks for a family, providing a baby with milk for a month and even help with bigger items such as needed surgeries, wheelchairs and other medical care. Samaritan’s purse will send you gift cards that have a short message on the inside about what their program. We did this with some trepidation, but I was pleasently surprised at the reception of these gifts.
We included with each card, a family photo, a description of the gift that was donated and for the younger kids a little gift from the dollar store or something else small.
My children really got into the idea as well…when that catalog comes they drop everything to start Christmas shopping for our loved ones! I feel better knowing that the money is going to something that is truely needed, my children are learning the importance of giving and our family and friends are seeing the love of Jesus through our family. What a better way to celebrate Christmas!
http://www.samaritanspurse.org

Everyone has some great ideas, and I understand how a homemade gift can look “cheap” (although I disagree). I went to snapfish.com and “handmade” some Memory books. You could “make” one per family. Cost is approx $25 ea, but they look professionally done. You download your own pictures, place them where you want, write you own notes/capitons, pick your own page layout, cover and best of all you do this online. If you did “family” books (the same book for every family) you would get an additional 25% off for each book. I made some for special milestones in my family life… High school graduation, moved to a new town (and missed old friends), Horse riding competition, etc. It is something my family has still held onto.
As a side note: I also shop clearance, sales, etc and start day after Christmas, but even that has put a strain on our budget. Several people live out of state and I have to then ship my gifts to them.. that’s where I spend the most money. This year when I write thank you cards I am going to tell the 2 non-related families that for 2009 I will not be sending gifts for Christmas or Birthdays due to financial issues. These are my Children’s godparents– if they don’t understand then oh well. My family was told we are cutting way back this year… that includes my own children. I finish all my shopping and wrapping in October. I do not even look for gifts after Nov 1 (except for Black Friday). This allows me all of Nov and Dec to bake, watch Christmas movies, visit friends, etc. Christmas isn’t stressful it is us to makes it stressful.

I collected freebies from Walgreens and used them for little gift baskets last year. Most of my gifts to relatives were free!

For my children, I’m planning to adopt the idea where we get our children 3 gifts to emulate the 3 gifts from the wise men. 1)A gift to help them grow spiritually (a worship music CD or devotional book
2) A gift that is educational (paints/puzzle/stacking blocks) 3)A gift that is something fun to play with (racecar, baby doll, big ball, etc.)

I know this year I’ll be looking to really give out some of my free items I’ve been stocking up on and I’ve been hard at work in making tons of canned jams, jellies and salsa. I love the look on people’s faces when you give them something they can’t just go out and buy themselves. Homemade stuff may sound cliche, but I know a lot of people really appreciate it because they either don’t have the know-how or the time to do it. Giving should be a lifestyle, not a season.

Celebrating Christmas in a meaningful way?

I hate to throw a damper on the party, but my Mom is dying of ovarian cancer. The doctors haven’t told us how long, but we’re figuring 3-6 months. Mom’s afraid she won’t even live to see Christmas 2008.

When you’re dealing with that, Crystal’s question takes on quite a different perspective.

I have two suggestions.

First, in our family, all of the adults and teenagers exchange names on Thanksgiving for Christmas gifts. We always set a limit on how much to spend, and everyone buys or makes something for the small ones. We do this buy couples for those who are in them to cut costs down a little.

Second, gag-bags are a lot of fun. Have the adults make a grap bag, again with a set price limit. The more ridiculous the better. On Christmas, assign numbers to each of the bags and everyone can draw numbers to see which one they get. They are a lot of fun to open. Everyone can have a good laugh without having all of the gift pressure. To make it more interesting, everyone could vote on the best bag, and have a revolving “trophy” or something until next year. Granted, the trophy part only works if everyone involved is a good sport.

For everyone else, I normally make some sort of homemade treat. This year I did jelly. Owlhaven has a great easy recipe over at http://www.owlhaven.net

Hope these are helpful!

I think this is a great idea:
Pick a theme for your gifts. One year EVERYONE gets a book. Another year everyone gets a cd or a game. Whatever you want! This can save you in many ways…time (just go to one store or online store and buy it all at once), money (there are often deals like Amazons buy 3 get 4th free), embarassment (not one gift thats better than another or more desireable, etc.).

I make candy boxes and then for certain folks, I also make an ornament. Other family members I offer to photograph them (I am by no means a professional and just use a point and shoot but how many photos do you have of your whole family? Not many b/c someone is usually behind the camera)

If youve been wiley through out the year, you can put together pampering baskets with all the free makeup and body washes you score

One year we did a “Dirty Santa” gift swap with our family. The gift had to be under $5, which usually meant it came from our attic, garage, etc. We laughed more than we ever have that year as we opened our funny gifts and we still talk about the pack of toilet paper my 18 year old brother wound up with. It was by far one of the best Christmases ever and no one complained about not getting “real” gifts.

Hi! For Christmas this year we are (as a family) going to be spending $5 on people. We actually have drawn names so I have a person and my husband also has a person. And we are all going to see how much (or how little!) we can get with $5. So this will be fun, we can make things, get free samples, get freebies from CVS or wherever… And for the kids we also draw names. We have 4 kids so we draw 4 names. We have also reduced our amount to $10 per kid this year… trying to do the same thing. We will be having fun with this! It is actually the first Christmas (in a long time) that we will have fun getting ready for.

I am making “Mom Time Out Baskets” for all of my sons teachers, my grandmother, my aunts, and any other mother or just girl on my list. I am making baskets of all of the things I have gotten throughout the year and filling them full. I have in there candles (free), Toothpaste and toothbrush (free), Shampoo and Conditioner (free), Body Wash (free), Headache medicine (free), nail polish (free), makeup (free), air fresheners (free), razors (around $2.00)etc. As you can see, it is not costing me hardly anything. Start collecting coupons now, watch for sales, and get things free. Make up a nice or funny name for the basket and the girls will love it. Walgreens and CVS are great stores to get free items at. Hope this helps!

When it came to Christmas gifts I have done a variety of things: made gifts, gift cards, bought gifts, etc. I would spend so much time picking out gifts especially for people only to be disappointed that they didn’t appreciate it or would never even acknowledged the gift.
This is the first year that both of our children are married so we decided that along with my parents and brother we would draw names. We put a $50 limit on the gift and then we also decided that one couple from our group would decide on a charity for us to donate to. We decided that my parents would choose the charity this year. There is no limit or minimum for the charity donation. We will just send our checks to my parents and then they will send the donation to the charity.

Hey- all good ideas…here are my comments…
-We approached our sisters and brothers one year, it was about time time we were all buying our first houses. We suggested that instead of gifts that year we would dedicate one day to each family as a service day. That family was responsible for buying supplies, and assigned us tasks to help around their house. The idea was that we would spend time together and serve one another!
-Check out the website for Advent Conspiracy and watch the video there. It is amazing- maybe after you send it to your relatives they’ll get on board with you.
-I try to have all my shopping done before Thanksgiving (yes-this includes not shopping on Black Friday) because I find myself spending money I wasn’t planning on. Also, the crowds and materialism keeps our eyes off the real meaning of Christmas.
Hope this helps…
Amy

In our family we do things a little differently. Since Christmas is about the Birth of Christ and kids adore it, we make it about the kids. The kids at various age ranges do a $10 gift exchange with one other kid and all the little ones under age 5 get something from everyone (not to exceed $10 limit). All of this is optional though.

As for our personal family, we have 3 small kids and not a lot of money, so we make it about things homemade, like cookies, blankets, doll clothes, etc. I also read something long before marriage and children and my DH agreed with me so this is what we do. Our children get 1 gift from Santa and 3 gifts from us. Our reasoning is simple. When the Baby Jesus was born, he was brought 3 gifts. Since we don’t want our children to think they are better than that, we only give them 3 gifts. They do make lists, and we pick 3 off of that list. It makes the kids truly think about what they would like, not just gimme gimme gimme, oh this looks cool syndrome.

My DH and I buy for one niece, and his younger sister and both sets of parents, and our daughter who’s almost 2. I shop through the year. My niece will get 2 unopened toys we’re regifting from things our daughter got last year that we don’t want her to have, along with two Christmas themed shirts (target clearance last year) and some books (from borders this summer). The parents and his sister are getting photo books and photo dvds from CVS that were free after ECBs. They’re small, personal, and didn’t cost anything. For our daughter, I put together a box of dress up clothes and hats and purses that I’ve found at yard sales and thrift stores.

I grew up with my dad’s family exchanging names and it never went well. Inevitably, one family would cheap out and get you total junk that you didn’t want. My parents, who could barely afford it, would get something nice for whomever’s name they picked. My Mom’s family just got together for a big meal.

My ideas:
1. For parents/grandparents: a family picture or picture of the kids
2. Fudge, cookies, fudge and cookies!
3. For the person who has everything, just make a donation in their name. If you have a hard time choosing, go with one like the American Red Cross or a local humane society.
4. Zoo memberships or museum memberships are nice.

I can’t claim this as my own idea – my husband and I stole it from one of my really good friends and we are going to try it this year for our children.

Everyone gets a gift that is
1- a want
2- a need
3- a spiritual growth

And for our extended family – – every year I give pictures in frames – – I buy the frames from Kohl’s because they are always on sale and you can get a great deal from time to time.

Alisa,
I don’t know how large your family is, but if it’s not too large – as your gift you could even invite everyone over for a holiday meal, a breakfast brunch, or you could have a holiday night of fun for everyone that includes either appetizers or desserts, along with hot spiced cider or hot cocoa. Add some festive music with holiday decorations you already have. Something like this can be done quite inexpensively, and you could even send out homemade invites that make it even more special.

I personally love giving and receiving Christmas gifts. It is an area of my life that is steeped with love and tradition and my family has never put a focus on materialism.
However, I know that Christmas can sometimes just become a competition to give the best gifts and to walk away with all the things you wanted…which is not at all the spirit of Christ and the celebration of his birth.
I try really hard, like other commenters have said, to really personalize things. I genuinely enjoy the challenge of finding, or creating the perfect gift for someone, so everything I give is either handmade or hand selected just for them. Giving gifts is my love language, but for me it has never been about the money…and I try to reflect that in my gift giving. Homemade gifts are almost always appreciated…usually more by adults, but children too sometimes. Its all about using your specific skills and abilities.
If you love to bake, homemade food is a special treat that is often very rare in today’s world. Men almost always appreciate food 😉
If you are into making crafts, homemade gifts can be very special. My mom has never really done any serious crafting…she is just not interested and her skills really lie in other areas. However, sometimes she will make fabric covered photo albums for people who have just gotten married or had babies, and that is a very sweet, meaningful gift that just requires the ability to use scissors and a hot glue gun.
Gift baskets or gift sets are a fun way to be creative, and can make smaller, more inexpensive gifts feel more substantial. A homemade apron is a decent gift, but if you pair it with some homemade jam, potholders, and a collection of your favorite recipes it becomes really impressive.
Giving a charitable gift in someone’s name, such as the heifer project is another great, creative way to circumvent the materialism issue.
Finally, the gift of time is huge for some people. If your sister is busy with 3 little ones you could give a coupon for free babysitting, or even offering to do her dishes. A niece or daughter in junior high would be thrilled to have the opportunity to go shopping with you (and they have pretty inexpensive tastes usually, like Claire’s).
When I give gifts to people I try to make each gift something unique that no one else could give them, that they could only get from me. And I feel like that is what makes exchanging gifts so special.

We have always gotten presents for our parents ( usually pictures of our kids, framed) So this year our three sets are costing $9 each!!!
My husbands family only gave gifts to their god-children ( he had two and I cut off the gifts once they hit 18) and his mother.
I love the drawing names idea- but you certainly don’t have to purchase gifts- why not write something up- like a remeberance with that person.
You could apply that to Christmas!
For my daughter’s 1st birthday we did a time capsule and most everyone brought words of advice or even deeper sentiments written for her to cherish… it was the best thing ever! My too cool for words brother brought me to tears when he wrote to her about the day she was born from his perspective and what her birth and first year has done to make him a better person!!!

The most beautiful thing I have ever read addressing this concern is a story called “Mary’s Dream”. (If you google Mary’s Dream Christmas story you can find it)

I am a big fan of scrapbooks. They can get expensive if you want them to, but they can also be simple. Some people think that others might find them cheesy, but I even made one for my super-sports-jock husband and he loved it! I just included photos of him with the children and a few words (Daddy’s girl, etc.) and quotations. I have also made them for extended family, and they are always a huge hit.

Last year I made a family photo matching game for all the children in the extended family (my kids have 15 cousins) where I just included 2 copies of each individual family’s photo and put decorative printed paper on the backs so they could use them for matching, or just to remember names and faces.

My third favorite cheap gift idea is an Inspiration Jar. I made one for a friend last year, and I just compiled a huge list of inspirational quotations and scriptures on my computer, then I printed them out on the white side of scrapbook paper. I cut them apart, then placed them in a clear jar that I got for $2 at Goodwill. I decorated the jar with some ribbon and a tag that said “(Friend’s name)’s Inspiration Jar”.

I feel that these ideas help to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas by encouraging finding joy in the important things in our lives- love, family, and friendship. I am planning a post for later this month about more great Christmas gift ideas on my blog. Hope this helps!

We also have a large family that is continuously growing. The way we make Christmas easier on everyone’s wallet is by drawing names with my husband’s family. He has 3 siblings, and everyone is married, so the five girls (his sister, me, his mom, and 2 sisters-in-law) draw names to buy gifts for each other; and the men do the same. That way, each couple is only buying 2 gifts, instead of 8. We also keep the limit at $25. For the adults, presents are just the icing on the cake of being able to spend the holidays together. There are also 7 grandchildren in our family (and more on the way), so each family can’t afford gifts for all the nieces and nephews. Our family understands that if you can afford to get gifts, great! If not, it’s OK, and no one ever gets mad. In fact, this last Christmas, we didn’t buy gifts for anyone! We even chose to not be part of the name exchange. If you feel like your family wouldn’t understand, you could explain to them that you’re trying to celebrate Christmas for what it really is about–Jesus and family–instead of what it’s really not about–presents. And, you can always give the gift of your time. If you have a sister who never gets a break, cook her a week’s worth of meals or babysit her kids overnight. If you have a single parent or sibling, invite them over for a home-cooked meal (something that may be rare for them). If you have lots of girls in your family, have them all over for a “chick-flik” night at your house, complete with lots of girly food, homemade facial masks and nail polish for pedicures. For your kids (or nieces or nephews that live close-by), you could allow them to have a special slumber party with friends or family, complete with yummy snacks, you telling a favorite family story, and no bedtime. You can get really creative and think of so many alternatives than having buy a gift for each member of your family. Give them yourself!

This year I have decided to dole out all the free stuff I have accumulated throughout the year, and yes it is quite a bit. I thought I would make baskets for everyone and put their real gift in the middle. As of now, it looks like each couple (we have 4 sets of parents to buy for) is getting about $200 worth of stuff they can use. The siblings (all 12 of them) is getting about $100 basket. This way I get away with only spending a few hundred dollars on Christmas!

These ideas would depend on whether or not your family would all agree on them or not, but here they are nonetheless. These are all things my family has either done or has talked about doing.
1. We have drawn names at Thanksgiving. Whoever we draw is who we will buy a Christmas present for. That way we each only have to buy for one person. Either the adults draw an adult, and the kids draw a kid, or the just the adults draw, and we buy presents for all the kids.
2. We have also decided not to do presents at all, but just to spend the money we would have spent on a big family outing (ice skating, going out to eat, etc.)
3. We have talked about something where we don’t spend money on presents for each other, but rather use the money to do a family ministry like giving groceries to a family in need.
4. The past couple years we have done a gift exchange where everyone just brings one present, and we play some type of game with them until all the gifts have been exchanged.

I have a great idea that is not only a gift, but it makes a difference in the lives of others on the other side of the world! My husband and I have traveled with Allow the Children Ministries, and you can donate to certain projects or buy things like Bibles for others. Check it out at http://www.allowthechildren.org/Sponsor/supportus.asp.

Also, they have a child sponsorship program for $24 a month (and all $24 goes towards your child … nothing is taken out for administrative costs … part of the reason we LOVE this ministry!), and you can sponsor a child for a year and give it in the name of someone each month ($24 for your aunt and uncle in January, $24 for your mom in February … etc.).

There are many projects on the page mentioned earlier, but look under the Nepal and Burundi projects for several things that are a few dollars ($15 for 5 Bibles, $7 for 100 tracts … etc.).

Here is an opportunity to give a meaningful gift instead of trying to find something that someone may or may not like or even use … Merry Christmas! 🙂

We used to draw names for Christmas. But now, we all do the “Gift Exchange Game.” We each try to find the best deal, throughout the year or at Christmastime. We can’t spend more than $10-15. Everyone who plays, brings one gift. The kids don’t join until they are teenagers. You draw a card and the person with the highest card goes first and picks a present from the pile. People can take it away from you. The game ends when the last person gets their gift. You have to set a rule of how many times the last round could go, though. It’s really a lot of fun!

For now, we all buy something small for each kid. But we are talking about drawing names for one kid and getting to spend more on a nicer present.

And the last thing we do is buy/make a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus! Because that’s what it’s all about!

Each adult provides one gift at a value of about $35 (if they choose to participate. Some couples do one gift together rather than two gifts.) Each participant then chooses one gift from the pile. Then we do another round of stealing unwrapped gifts from each other. Then we open them.

Last year, I went to Michael’s a couple weeks before Xmas and bought a basket, candles, and a couple ornaments all on sale. I assembled it as a gift basket that looked much more expensive that it actually was.

Kids under 18 still receive gifts from everyone, but several us have started to pool our money to buy a better gift for the same amount. So, we each contribute $10 for each kid, then each kid gets a gift worth $30 rather than 3 gifts worth $10. Everyone is happy.

I don’t have a great idea… but I DO want to say that Alisa DEFINITELY isn’t alone in her struggles. I find that my husband and myself feel this way every year with his side of the family… we’re on the ‘less fortunate’ end of things.. though, what that REALLY means, is that we’re the only ones who don’t max out our credit cards over gifts every year.

It’s really, really hard to sit and watch the family open pricey gift after pricey gift… only to hand them a specially made gift basket full of homemade cookies, dried herbs from the garden, or other nice, INEXPENSIVE things. It just never feels… good enough.

So, needless to say, I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing what everyone has to say!

My husband also comes from a large extended family. They are in large part non-believers. This is what we have done to keep the spirit up and the cost way down – and still have a blast doing it! Every year on the Saturday before Christmas, my mother in law hosts a party for all of us at her house. We all buy gifts for all of the children and spend about $10 each. If you shop sales you should be able to get a great little something for not much money at all. Then, the adults all partake in a grab bag. This eliminates the hassle of drawing names and keeping track of who has whom. It also frees you up to just purchase or make something you think is nice, not try and please one person in particular. We play the traditional “white elephant” rules. The game is so much more fun than the gift you end up with. The men bring a gift for a man, and the women bring a gift for the women. This being an especially tight year, I plan on bringing a homemade food basket for the men (some of whom are single) and making a Lady’s goodie basket full of things I have gotten free at CVS and Walgreens this year (chocolate, nailpolish, razors, etc.) This works because I only have to make 2, not 18!!

Not every recipient would love this, but I have given subscriptions to magazines for inexpensive Christmas gifts. You can usually find them for about $12 or less (sometimes free). And with all the different magazines out there, you can find one to fit a person’s interest. You can just give a card or something at Christmas telling the person what you did.
Something that I do a lot for kids is make them a gift bag full of art supplies. You can do this for $5-10 or less. Pads of plain paper, colored pencils, markers, watercolor paints, stickers, packs of googly eyes and puff balls, glitter, chalk, tissue paper, stencils, ribbon, etc. are great. This is something you can stock up on in the fall when all this stuff is on sale, and put it away until Christmas or until you get invited to a b-day party or something.

Hubby’s family’s tradition is to have each person fill a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child or Samaritan’s Purse. The kids like helping pick things out for “their” box! Even if you have 5 people in your family and have to do five boxes, you’ll end up spending much less than if you’d bought each extended family member a gift! Doing it together, maybe even gathering up some cousins to go shopping with you, makes it fun. Sometimes making it about helping someone else is just what we need to get back in focus!

If not everyone wants to go that route, just explain that your family is taking a year off gift-giving and will be giving to children in need. I haven’t met a single person who thought I was weird for doing this!

You could still do a small Christmas celebration at home for your family, or even a potluck dinner for everyone!

Since I’ve had kids we always give the grandparents and there are many a picture of the kids in a frame. I usually find a great deal on frames around Christmas time at Walgreens and print the pictures through Shutterfly.

I love these ideas! One year I made ornaments out of high quality copies of heirloom family photos. There is a great article on how to do it here: http://www.southernliving.com/southern/homes/ideas/article/0,28012,357881_557815,00.html

As far as ideas for making the season more Christ-centered, I love this book: REDEEMING THE SEASON by Kim Wier. It’s PACKED full of great ideas for the family. You can buy a used copy on amazon.com starting at $1.35!

We do a number of things already mentioned. We adopt a family as well. Our kids are involved in every bit of the process. I want them to understand how fortunate we all are. We use money from our Xmas budget to do this.

Also, for gifts we’ve been taking the kids to the portrait studio (Kiddie Kandids often has great deals) and getting their pics done. I buy frames at Marshals, Target, or wherever I can find them and send framed pics to all the grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc.. You can also buy craft supplies to embelish your own frames.

Anything homemade or from the heart. I’ve seen recipes for soap/bath balls….art projects from the kids, or pictures.

As far as getting into the spirit. Talk about the reason for the season. Jesus’ birth. That should get everybody excited.

Not many in our extended families know the Lord so as for getting them to focus on the real meaning, well it’s a hard task. So I’ll stick to the gift part of the question…
We have seven children so it’s hard to buy gifts for everyone. So every year we give a homemade gift. This year it’s jam and biscuit mix, last year it was hot cocoa mix (money was really tight last year!), the year before it was spicy veggie dip mix. You can find all sorts of inexpensive gifts to make and give. Everyone in our family helps make the gifts. It’s fun, inexpensive, and from the heart.

Hope that helps!

Hugs,
Carmen

I have a book that would be helpful. It is called Unplug the Christmas Machine. It had a lot of very practical ideas for how to deal with family that is not “on the same page”. Take a look and see if you think it would be helpful for you.

Last year we made our own hot chocolate mix to give along with cookies we baked to families and friends. Three years ago I would have been horrified to spend less than $20 on ANYONE. Now, I do my shopping throughout the year. JUST after Christmas is an EXCELLENT time to purchase gifts for the following year. That doesn’t help so much now but you can easily go to a thrift store and purchase some used frames and make your own collage of extra pictures you may have or put in a picture that your child made. Better yet, have them draw a special holiday picture just for the recipient and frame it. There are tons of frugal resources on the web. I have no doubt Crystal has a bunch. We also have made books for grandparents that describe why our DD has fun with them, etc and incude a picture or two of them together. Once you get past the price tag or your gift you can have a lot of fun with the gift giving.

I’d love some ideas on this too!
Last year, we asked our family members to draw names and purchase a gift under $50 for the person whose name you drew. Everyone agreed – and then Christmas morning came and we were the only ones who didn’t have gifts for everyone. We certainly felt like the poor, cheapskate relatives and it was very humiliating!
This year our budget is just as tight, if not tighter. I Googled “Frugal gifts” and saw lots and lots of great ideas, many of which I am adopting!
For exampble, my teenage niece is getting a “Death by Chocolate” gift basket – with homemade Chocolate Chocolate Chip cookie dough and a cookie scoop so she can make cookies whenever she wants, along with a jar of homemade hot cocoa mix.
My sister-in-law and her fiance are getting a Home Cooking basket – with the ingredients and a recipe card for my favorite Chicken Tortilla Soup, along with 2 soup mugs & spoons from the dollar store.
Another family member is getting a gift basket with the recipe & ingredients for homemade caramel popcorn.
(Once I thought of a theme to fit their personalities, I ran with it!)
Everyone is getting homemade refrigerator magnets with pictures of my boys on them.
I’m hoping it will all be well received. And if not, too bad! I don’t have the money and no longer have the interest in trying to beat the Joneses every holiday.

Why not suggest everyone contributes money (if they can…no one has to know every family member’s amount) and give to a needy family. My family collects the money, gets a money-order and sends it to a family they know are in need. The needy family doesn’t know who the money order is from but they at least get to celebrate Christmas a little better than they would have if they didn’t get the money order. It takes the stress out of buying gifts and allows everyone to reflect on the real reason for the season!

One of my friends and her boyfriend celebrated Christmas by going to a soup kitchen and working too.

My husband’s family is large (1 grandparent, 2 parents, 5 kids, 3 spouses, 3 grandkids, and an “adopted aunt”). We do a drawing early in the fall so that each adult buys for only one other adult and we set a limit of $35. Everyone can buy for the grandkids, but even with that the “Christmas bill” is so much smaller than it would be if we were to buy for everyone. Plus when you only have one person on your list, you’re able to put more thought into what that person would really want and wouldn’t buy for themselves.

I became a stay at home mom a year and a half a go but for the last three years our Christmas budget has been so tight. For Christmas I started giving my Aunts, Cousins that had their own little families, close friends and my husband’s close friends at work “Christmas Baskets”. I love to bake so I would bake up inexpensive items in bulk and put them in Christmas gift boxes. This year I am really doing it up because I have been shopping lately at the local Goodwill’s and noticed they have started putting Christmas Tins out and I have been buying those up. I have a collection going and now this year can put up the baked goods into tins and really dress them up for little to nothing. I have also started putting together all my cookie recipes, making the batches and started freezing them. I do this because I too ended up crying and being depressed at feeling like it was not a good enough gift. But now EVERYONE looks forward to the baskets!! This year for my friends with little ones I am doing gable boxes that I found at the Goodwill with a dozen tea cookies that are SUPER simple to make and then adding in some disposable piping bags filled with royal icing in red and green colors. That way they may sit with their families on Christmas Eve and decorate their own cookies for Santa! If you would like the recipe just shoot me an email and I would love to send it to you. I love it!! Thanks for the opportunity to share my story!

~Angela Carrillo
PROUD stay at home momma to a 10yr old and a 19mo old!!

It’s impossible to please everyone. Simple homemade gifts show you put time and love into your presents. Try giving a family gift (instead of individual ones) of homemade cookies, bread, or canned goods, add a homemade oranment and you’ve given a wonderful gift that you can feel good about. You can check out my blog for cheap “stocking stuffer” ideas.

My extended family (my mom’s side) has already decided that instead of purchasing gifts or even gift cards this year, we are going to give the gift of our “presence” by meeting up at my grandparent’s home at the beginning of January! We are going to sit around and talk and eat, something we haven’t done as a large group in a long time, since we are so scattered across the country. It is a great alternative to spending money we don’t have on things we don’t even know the others will enjoy.

I am doing several homemade things this year. I am making dish towels with a Christmas theme on them. I am also making personal handsoap. I got the idea of Pattiwack from News on 6. You copy on regular paper a pic of whatever (my daughter), glue the pic onto a regualr bar of soap (scrapping the “Ivory” word off), using tongs; dip the soap 1/4 inch into a pan of melted pariffin wax and let dry. Super cute and super cheap. Also dry ingredient mixes of cookie and cocoa mixes in jars are good. Other than that just think of things that are most useful. I don’t like to give gifts that are just wants; I look at needs too and use that as a more useful guide. Hope that helps. 🙂

A couple of years ago, my siblings and I all decided to stop giving each other gifts and take the money that we would have spent and spend it on people who could use it more than us. We put all of the money together and adopt a family in need and then we buy presents for them (hopefully on Black Friday, so we can stretch our dollars further). We wrap the presents and then leave them on the porch with a note from Santa. It is such a more rewarding and meaningful experience. Instead of stressing about trying to find the perfect gift for people who already have everything that they need, we have so much fun and find so much joy in buying things for families in need.

It is a truly rewarding experience for everyone involved!

My suggestion is to make it personal. When you put thought and love into any gift, the receiver knows it.
Try using scripture for inspiration to make personal note cards, IOU coupons or as tags on editable goods. Or use a religious story that means something to you to make theme gifts such Noah’s Ark and two matching handmade gifts. The gift of family, friendship and time together is what is most important.

Here are a few ideas:

Hand-made gifts — some people may curl their noses, but folk traditions go a long way, especially when connected with your family’s heritage.

Alternative giving — a card specifying a donation in the name of a person or family to a non-profit organization. Heifer.org has been in the business of alternative giving for a very long time. You can provide information about how the gift will be used to make a difference in the world. Some organizations even have special cards you can print out in colored-ink.

Also, http://www.simpleliving.net has some great resources called “Whose Birthday Is It Anyway?” that might be right up your alley.