I’m a brand-new mom of a 4-month-old and I work at home part-time. I’m also a disorganized and a recovering procrastinator and money-waster. I’m thrilled to have found your blog, but I discovered it at a time in my life when I hardly have a free minute to spare.
I desperately want to change, but being so new to this lifestyle, so set in my bad habits and so extremely busy, I have no idea how to go about it. Do you have any suggestions for an overwhelmed newbie? Thanks in advance! -Deanne
Excellent question, Deanne! I was hoping to answer it in one post, but as I started outlining the post on paper (as I usually do with lengthier posts), I realized there was no way I could cover everything I wanted to cover in just one post.
So I’m going to do a series over the next few days with some step-by-step help for you and others who have just discovered this blog and are feeling overwhelmed at where to start in getting your finances in order.
1. Streamline Your Life
Saving money is going to take some time and effort. There’s no way around that. If it were effortless to live beneath your means or save 65% on all your grocery bills, everyone would be doing it!
It doesn’t have to take hours and days of your week, but if you want to change your finances, you first need to be willing to commit to put forth the time and effort required.
It will be worth it, but it won’t always be easy. However, the long-term benefits of short-term sacrifices can be amazing.
You can’t do it all. When you say “yes” to one thing, you must say “no” to another.
So if you really want to see some significant changes in your finances but you’re feeling completely overwhelmed and busy with your current responsibilities, you’re going to need to cut some things out of your life in order to make time to spend getting your finances in order.
2. Set Short-term and Long-term Goals
Once you’ve decided to streamline your life and put forth some effort when it comes to getting your finances in order, it’s time to get down to business! The first thing I recommend is to set goals.
Take a few hours during a quiet afternoon to sit and think (I highly recommend doing this exercise with your husband for those who are married). Where do you hope to be in five years and ten years from now? Don’t be intimidated! Just write down whatever comes to your mind. It’s okay to dream big dreams — even if they seem impossibly out of your reach.
Once you’ve scribbled down a lot of big ideas, choose which ones you really want to shoot for. I say to pick no more than three long-term goals. If you’re not out of debt, that should be at the top of your list. It’s hard to get any financial traction if you’re dragging the bondage of payments around with you wherever you go!
Now, break these big long-term goals down into smaller, bite-sized pieces. For instance, let’s say you have $12,000 in credit card debt and you’d like to have it paid off in two years. That means you need to have a goal of paying $6,000 off per year which translates to $500 per month, or about $125 per week. So there you have one of your concrete goals: you need to find an extra $125 in your budget each week in order to have all your credit cards paid off within two years.
Come back tomorrow and I’ll be sharing some tips and ideas for maximizing the mileage of your limited time and money!
Readers: What suggestions do you have for Deanne or other brand-new readers here who are feeling overwhelmed with where to start? I’d love to hear what has helped you!
photo by Katie@
I found reading the book, Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey helped me prioritize our spending habits and gave me steps to help us achieve those financial goals. Just writing down everything we were spending out money on helped a lot. We also paid off both of our vehicles and have vowed to drive our paid for vehicles until the mechanic cannot fix them any longer. Just not having car payments freed up so much money per month to help pay down our enormous debt. In 6 months time we paid off 23,000 worth of debt. We still have a long way to go, but with the Lord’s help and our determination to stay debt free our used to be a dream is slowly becoming a reality.
When I became a SAHM I had no organization at home and wondered how people got everything done! I asked my mom and grandmas if they had a schedule for doing things around the house. Their answers were different and seemed to work for them. However when I tried their ways it did not work for me. So I searched and found motivatedmoms.com . The owner sells a calendar of household chores including daily and seasonal ones. Things I didn’t even know had to be done like clean the coils behind the fridge or wipe the walls in every room of the house. It is all laid out in a simple way that I can get everything done in less than an hr a day. My house has never been so clean and organized! It costs $8 for a year. It also has a planner and a guide for reading the Bible in a year. I tell all new moms about it and it has forever changed my life! :O)
my suggestion would be setting aside a time of day where you check this website, once a day or a few times a day, and do some of the freebies. Do the freebies you would use. Personally I love free deodorant! I can’t tell you the last time I actually BOUGHT deodorant (or toothpaste, but toothpaste doesn’t excite me as much), it’s been years. I actually even prefer the small travel size, slips under shirts easier, seems to break apart less, or it’s really just grown on me. There are things I don’t use, things I’ve requested samples of and found it’s not convienient for me or I don’t like it, and that just adds to the mess and chaos and clutter.
ask trusted friends or family member for help budgeting, creating a chore schedule (laundry, bill paying), etc. even with all the great suggestions taken in baby steps it can be overwhelming without someone to lean on. remember to make guilt free “me” time in your daily schedule and keep connected with friends.
I know you can do it – I was the queen of procrastinaton before becoming a single working foster mom. After my first placements I was almost burnt out. Thankfully I had 2 months to put my life in order before the next crew arrived – very liberating. Like giving birth it’s worth the effort and pain! Go girl!
I love love love glenda’s comment and I do believe I will start doing the 5 dollars this week! Love all of the great tips and advice!
I used to be a money management/debt counselor for people overwhelmed with debt. One of my #1 rules was no matter how little you make put at least $5 a week into savings, increase this as you can. When someone would grimace and say “I can’t” I’d reply that I’d been in their shoes and knew it could be done. I told them that five dollars was just one lunch out somewhere (or nowadays just a coffee). But that little bit of savings can make a world of difference when the unexpected happens (car repair, etc). When my husband and I were squeezing two cents to make a third I still put that $5 back. When he or I got a raise, so did the savings. It was one of the best routines I ever enforced and we have prospered from it.
I struggle with getting everything done too. I have lots of info on my website The Peaceful Mom about how I have learned to manage a busy and stressful life (low income, four children, home schooling with a special needs child).
You can click the link here: http://thepeacefulmom.com/category/life-skills/page/2/
In our prior incomes, my husband and I used to enjoy going to the movies 2-4 times a month (which, between tickets and a popcorn/drink to share would easily add up to $30 each movie). When we both took income cuts (which essentially was like losing my income, so I consider myself to be a working “stay at home mom” :-p), we had to do some drastic restructuring. Our biggest expenditure was on our date nights. Rather than than cut dating altogether, we opted for an allowance out of each paycheck ($20 each time a paycheck comes in), and that became our “fun money.” So, if we want to do a movie, we look at what we have left in cash in our spending…and sometimes a late-night movie just doesn’t seem worth it.
Our trade-in? We get Netflix instead! So maybe we won’t see a movie RIGHT when it comes out in theatres, but we make a bowl of popcorn and snuggle on the couch (which is more comfy than those theatre seats!) and have date-nights in. If we REALLY want to see a movie, we go on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and get the cheaper matinee tickets. Dinners out are usually purchased through restaurant.com (if you are a Coke drinker, you can cash in Coke Points for gift certificates), and I take the time to click on all of those links through mypoints.com and trade those points in for movie theatre gift cards.
We may go “out” less, but for us, dinner in is just as good as dinner out!
Sometimes the days seem to go on forever, but the years will fly by – my baby is now a freshman in college, and I think she should still be in diapers! My favorite time saver for onine deals is robo-form. You can download it for free,and it is a one click way to fill out the forms needed to get freebies.
I haven’t had time to read through all of the posts but the best recommendation I could give is to write down everything you are spending time doing and everything you are spending money buying. It’s the fastest way to see what all is on your plate both time-wise and financially. It also allows your mind to rest a bit to get everything down on paper.
My experience (I do this exercise often) is that you quickly see things that need to be taken off the list. Then you see things that are nice to have but not must haves followed by things that can be delegated or shared. Lastly, you’re left with the list of priorities and you can work on a plan for accomplishing those.
Whenever I find myself out of balance (fiscally or otherwise), I do this exercise and everytime I’m able to identify where cuts need to happen or where changes need to be made.
It’s amazing how similar time management and money management really are.
A few things that helped me simplify – eliminate cable/sat TV. I know – Major mind blower but A) if you need more time you will find the TV a huge timewaster. B) It completely eliminates a bill each month because, let’s face it you don’t NEED TV to live and C) There is still broadcast TV or internet TV. Netflix is only $10 a month and they have a lot of streaming video you can watch at no additional charge. Second, pick a couple of days a week to stay home. Everytime you leave you will spend money, even if it just gas. By staying home a couple days a week you can eliminate impulse buys, coffee shop stops and fast food. Third, make a list of purchases you need to make, sheets, towels, a birthday etc. then, when you do go out and want to make an impulse buy you have a predefined list. We all have the urge to buy but now, instead of buying something you don’t need you have satisfied the urge and taken care of a need. Especially if you have a little one, look for clothes at $3 or less in the sizes they will need in 3 months. Make it a quest, make it fun. And my last tip – if you are just starting on couponing, go generic. Store bought brands are frequently just as good and usually way cheaper without a coupon. And if you have favorite brands (I am really picky on salsa for example) keep an eye out for those coupons especially.
@Michelle,
(For Internet TV) we watch Hulu.com a LOT, probably too much. We haven’t been able to justify the Netflix price yet.
My advice when you’re overwhelmed is to start with one thing. I used to read MSM and other blogs and get totally defensive because there was no way I could “do all that.” I started with setting a grocery budget and using cash for groceries. It turns out I was overspending “food money” on drive throughs. That was an easy one to fix. Once we had cash in an envelope for food, I couldn’t overspend anymore. This required me to meal plan (I plan a week at a time) so that I could go to the grocery store just once a week. It cut down on my impulse purchases and on our spontaneous eating out. Cooking meals at home also allowed me to make extras for Husband to take to work, which saved more money.
Once the grocery budget was known, I dropped it by about 10%. Once I realized we could do that comfortably, I dropped it another 10%. Step by step, we’ve scaled back this part (and other parts) of our budget. If I had tried to become a bread-baking, from-scratch-making, whole-food eating, clothes-sewing, fix-instead-of-replacing momma all at once, I would have given up. So my advice is this: pick one thing (groceries are where we saw the biggest impact since it’s such a big portion of our budget) and make a dent in it. You can do it!
I have two special needs children – that is enough to make my day unorganized, lol! I try very hard to keep everything simple.
There are a few other good websites about minimalism/simple living to help you get your clutter under control – but Crystal’s is one of the best for families. Like many others here, I decided long ago that I could not waste energy taking care of “things”.
Crystal’s Vlog 2 weeks ago about her Minimalist Wardrobe is one example of how you can apply that to your life and your kids clothing to reduce laundry. I love the way she explains it – I follow a similar type system for myself and my 2 kids.
The Simple Dollar is also a great resource, he covers how to get started, organized, and all the things this poor dear is interested in. His advice is to start with something small, make it a habit, and keep going. She is overwhelmed, so I think this would be good advice for her.
Note: the writer does not say that she is in debt. She says she wastes money.
While not wasting money is important, I am going to go against the tide here, and say that in this case, your best FIRST move may be to get the house somewhat clean/organized. I say “somewhat” because with a newborn and a job, there’s no point trying for more. But I bet that with a clutter-free dining room table or a clean kitchen or a tidy desk (take your pick) you will be surprised at how much less overwhelmed you feel with life. THEN, you can sit in a clutter-free spot and plan your finances.
Even before you’re ready to tackle your finances with a budget, etc., one thing that takes literally no time is to pick one splurge/nonessential to cut out. Like that drive-thru soda on the way home from the store. Something simple, but yet you can feel like you have at least accomplished something.
Wouldn’t worry about coupons/drugstores for a while yet. Easier and much faster just to buy less stuff. Less stuff is less to organize and put away.
I agree — and I think you’ll like part 2 coming up later today. 🙂
I started off right where you are today. When my son was very tiny…our electricity got shut off! In May! In Texas!
Baby steps are key. You won’t overhaul your entire budget in a week/months time. Pick something manageable and once it becomes second nature, move on to the next big thing.
The reason so many of us try and fail so often is because we try too much at once and get overwhelmed. You have a new baby! Cuddle that baby close and focus on the things that are going right in your life!
Crystal and the commenters before me have given some fantastic advice, so I’m just going to “ditto” everyone. Something I do have reitterate though is that it’s about teamwork. You can’t move forward unless you move forward TOGETHER. This means you and your husband need to be totally on the same page. My husband and I tried to get our act together numerous times and it never worked out. UNTIL we finally came together. Now…there’s no stopping us!
Best of luck to you! I can’t wait to read your “We paid cash” on Crystal’s blog a year from now! 😉
Groceries and kid stuff can kill a budget. we have found meal planning to be wonderful and a huge time and money saver.
Two things that I do with my kids (8 weeks, barely two and my nine year old stepson) at our house is minimize what they have in the first place as much as possible. We have a three bedroom house and will NOT be moving- the girls will share a room. My stepson has seven days of clothing here plus one dress outfit (he lives here half the time) and the girls have roughly two weeks of clothing each and dress clothing. His toys and books have to fit in his room- when they do not it is time for him to decide what goes in the attic. Once a year we help him do a purge of his stuff and clothing so that the only things he has fit, are in good shape and are what he loves. He goes through everything he owns and decides what stays and what goes.
My rule for the girls (they are too young to really help)is that if it takes me more than 15 minutes to put everything away then they have too much stuff. Most of their toys and books live in their room except for an area off the kitchen so we can cook and keep an eye on them.
That helps take care of overspending on books, toys and games.
The other thing I do is buy as much of the kids’ stuff as I can secondhand. One shelf of their board books were 25-50 cents each. They had an instant library of good books for less than the cost of two new books. Baby/toddler clothing can be found for cheap at thrift stores and consignment shops. Ebay is also a good resource. Try to anticipate needs in advance- if you know the kid will need a winter coat start looking in August/September to find the best deal. Accept all hand me downs even if they are a few sizes too big- my daughter spent two weeks in size 2T, luckily I had some 3’s stashed away so I did not have to run out and buy all new stuff. If they need something what I do is look first at thrift stores, then consignment, Ebay and retail sales then look at full retail price. If I have to pay retail it is because I looked everywhere else first and couldn’t find what I needed.
This has saved us thousands of dollars over the years and helps us keep our house organized which also saves us time. If we do not need it and love it then it stays on the shelf at the store.
I know that you said you have no time so maybe none of this would work for you or maybe some of it. Whatever you do, baby steps will help get you there.
I know it sounds almost impossible to free up $125 a week to apply towards debt (sometimes ANY extra!) but it can be done. For instance, we decided as a family to get rid of cable TV (My son tells everyone we have ABLE – just the channels we are able to get!). As a compromise we signed up for Netflix (which we can stream through the Wii). It runs about $14 a month with tax. And we researched big ticket bills like car, homeowners and life insurance and found reliable companies that had policies that met our needs with reduced rates. Then came the coupons for groceries. I started small – just having them in a system where I could locate them and actually use them. This helped. And with baby steps I began to be more cognizant of pairing them with sales and stockpiling what I could so I could wait for the best deals. Crystal is right – you have to break everything down into baby steps. Don’t try to do it all at once or expect to be at the same level others are that have been living frugally for a while. We all had to start somewhere and the support from others is amazing! Just remember to do what works for you and your family. Good luck! I’m praying for you!
@Lisa,
Lisa….love the ABLE!! I think I will have to use that one because it is too funny. We don’t have cable either and my boys just asked about Nextflix through the Wii. Now we just have to figure out where we can cut in other areas to make it work. We don’t watch a lot of TV but it would be nice to watch things we actually want to watch when we are able….haha another ABLE!!
I agree with some of the other comments. The biggest thing for me was being able to say no to things that I felt pressured to do– school fundraisers, extra activities, and parties (as mentioned by Renee). Sometimes it’s freeing to say “ooh. I can’t or I’ll miss out on my datenight with hubby we budgeted for” or “Sorry. I already budgeted for something else this month.”
I find this leads to some fabulous conversations without seeming snippety about saying no.
Find some time to visit with other mommies. I love to visit while doing other things. Plan a shopping trip together. Ask another Mommy to come visit while you tidy your kitchen or living room. This has saved my sanity multiple times! You may also be able to trade a couple of hours each week so that you can go to the store without your precious little one. I would also suggest putting the baby in a bouncy seat and giving a dialogue of what you’re doing as you clean or cook. Your eye contact and dialogue will keep the baby engaged while you get something accomplished. Like others have mentioned, even 10-15 mins of tidying up will make a big difference. As the baby gets older things will get easier.
This sounds just like me except my daughter is 7 months old! I love this site and my husband sometimes gets annoyed with the time I spend hunting down deals. He is on board with the budget and the goals and the whole works. We want to make the best life possible for our daughter and the best way to do that is to not have any debt! Thanks MSM for all that you do 🙂
Winter time for my family means that I make a huge pot of soup (something hearty) and some bread or rolls at the beginning of the week and then we eat it (with salad) most of the week. This saves me so much time (and money!) and there is always something healthy and nutritious in the fridge.
I think that this is great, but I use my credit cards to live on. We use them for food since it takes all we have for house hold bills. Every year we use our income tax to pay off our house insurance for a year and then use the rest to pay our credit cards off. Once that is done any extra goes in the savings account.
@Joshlin, If your tax return covers this, maybe you should adjust your deductions so you have the cash flow now to cover your food expenses. You either need to create more income or lower your household expenses, because someday your tax return isn’t going to cover your credit card costs.
You mentioned you were disorganized. If you see many of Crystals pics of her house, she mentions what you might be thinking-by today’s standards, the rooms look kind of bare. I know when I was struggling with a new baby, a financial and mental woe was the pressure to ‘have all the right stuff’. Babies need a mom, clothes, diapers, and that’s really it. Are you tripping over your plastic all day long? I tried to start when my son was about a year old, getting RID of anything that wasn’t necessary. Yes, they might like it, but really you don’t need it and it takes from your life. Now I have a 7 and a 2 year old and I’ve tried to take BARE all around my house. Is it because i’m a christian martyr? No, I just personally cannot CHASE all that stuff all day long. Now my house is so empty of many things I used to have I really can get up, do some dishes and laundry, and besides weekly chores and small toy messes, be done or close to okay. I don’t know if this is you personally but for me, a conscious effort to not bring extra in and to regularly donate really helps. This is the ‘keep things simple’ for me.
You also can do this for your food situation. Start at a few basic meals. When we were really strapped, we had oatmeal for breakfast grilled cheese for lunch, and hamburgers or chicken with home canned beans or potatoes for suppers. That’s all I had, and really, its just food. When you get better at getting deals you can incorporate price points for healthy and fun foods you can afford.
Part of it is too, and don’t take this as an excuse not to strive to be better, but this is the season of life you’re in. IT DOES GET BETTER, but when your old and grey this is the time you’ll dream about. Yes your house will not be a showcase until that little one is older, but soak it up…your time with your baby is what matters. (reaching through cyberspace and giving hugs b/c girl i been there..)
Hi everyone. I’ve been playing the coupon game for about a year now. My favorite part about it is that I am able to give overflowing bags to the homeless outreach for pennies on the dollar. It’s been my way to give back and feels great.
My life in the last couple years has gotten skewed. I’ve worked downtown for years with an hour commute each way, and now that my husband is working downtown and also commuting, our house has fallen apart, I don’t have time to cook, and feel tired and stressed all day. So I’m making the jump into the unemployed market. In a recession. By choice. What am I thinking?
I feel like our lives will be much fuller once I can focus on keeping a house that is not a disaster (even without kids, the place is a nightmare) and cook real food that isn’t going to eat half our budget. I also am signing up to do volunteer work because it was something I loved to do through high school and college.
I’m loving the comments everyone is giving. I will definitely give the meal planning a shot once I’m done at my job. By all means, I’m open to all your advice… we’ll need to find a budget that can work with one less income!
@Nicki S., I was amazed at the “freedom” that having a menu gave me! I thought that I would feel way too structured and restricted, but it actually had the opposite effect on me. I’m so glad I tried one out.
I think one of the biggest ways you can see an immediate drop in your food bill is to plan your dinner meal. Just decide, for example, “We’re going to eat tacos, spaghetti, baked chicken, soup, sandwiches, and pancakes for suppers this week.” Then write down all the stuff you need to make those meals, go to the store, and get it. This will save you money in two ways:
1) You will not buy extra food you don’t need (lower total at the store).
2) You HAVE all the stuff to make meals for every night (lower eating-out total for the week).
For me, the temptation to eat out is when I don’t have the ingredients or don’t know what to do with my ingredients. So this method prevents that 🙂
Also, if the thought of a menu plan scares you because you think you’ll be tied to it for the rest of your life, only commit to it for 2 weeks. At the end of the 2 weeks, see how you like it and whether it saved you money.
Best wishes! I can relate to the overwhelmed newbie feeling 🙂
@Diana, Oh, forgot to add-the next step would be to look at the sale ad and choose your dinners based on that. 🙂
@Diana, I would also say that when you cook, do a double batch so that you can freeze one for the next week. Less planning and cleanup!
I try to cook when I have help with the kids (they go to day care part time while I work from home) or during their naps. I make a lot of casseroles because they can be made earlier in the day and put in the fridge until later. They also usually provide two meals, which is a huge time saver. I usually manage dinner, but definately not everything else. Set priorities. My house is usually somewhat organized, but never perfect (unless my mother in law has spent the day with us!)
Deanne-
It’s so great that you are beginning this journey! I too am a procrastinator and a recovering money waster. Here are some small steps that worked for me and my husband.
~ Mint.com has been a wonderful, free tool for us. It breaks down every category of spending for you; you can create trackable budgets and goals as well.
~Automate all your bills! (if you haven’t already done so.) Every utility plus internet and cell phones is deducted automatically from our account. Saves me from pesky late fees for paying a few days late because I’m a scatterbrain!
~Take time to make a master grocery list. Make copies, then just add to it the extras you need. This goes along with Crystal’s “Buy-ahead principle” and saves you time.
~Always have the fixings for “emergency, I can’t even think about making dinner, even though I planned soemthing” dinners! This has helped us resist ordering out. Some of or fave no-brainer dinners are: grilled cheese and creamy tomato soup, quesadillas, pancakes, tortellini/ravioli with a jar of sauce.
~Get to know your crock pot! It can be your very best friend. (and make your house smell oh so delicious all day!)
These are just some things that helped me out. i work everyday to stay organized and manage my time. Our first little one will be here in March!! We’ll see how my organizing skills hold up then!
Allow yourself time to make small changes and Enjoy your baby!!!!!!
You need to examine what is and what is not working for you. What exactly do you want to change? Definitely time to simplify. Only you and your dh can decide what is best for your family and situation. You may need to drop some activities for awhile. This is a “season.” Enjoy it while it’s here. Simplifying may mean spending a little money to save you time (like paper plates or takeout on a busy night) or it could mean cutting some things out to save money (no more eating out/takeout).
If mealtimes are not working, take the time to make a list of meals (I even have them divided by type such as chicken/ground beef, beef, nonmeat, etc) your family enjoys and then make a menu plan. This can be done weekly, biweekly or monthly. I would suggest however often you want to shop. I write mine in pencil, so I can swap the meals around as needed/wanted. Then you can devise your shopping list to make sure you have on hand what you need. I find this to be a huge moneysaver and helps me in planning my day and not have the “what are we going to eat” at 5 o’clock. If there’s one thing you want to do in regards to finances in your grocery budget, it’s meal planning. I spend much less when I meal plan than when I don’t. If there’s a super duper deal on something at the store, I might revise my menu to accommodate that or I might buy some for the next menu. Just remember your menu is to serve you, not the other way around. Change things around if so desired. Some like to have a freezer cooking day, some like to make a double batch here and there and then freeze the extras. It is wonderful to have a meal that only needs to be thawed and heated for busy/frustrating days.
Coupons. Some love them and some don’t. I don’t have the time and opportunity to shop weekly and the stores don’t double coupon. Plus I cook mainly from scratch and foodwise there’s not many coupons I use. I do play the drugstore game when I can IF there’s something that’s worth my while to make that extra stop. I also try to make sure I turn around and spend my “money” for next purchase right then and there, otherwise it’s too frustrating to me to find that it has expired before I get a chance to use it. I do use coupons when I can, but I don’t sweat it if I don’t. I focus my moneysaving techniques elsewhere.
Finances. Make a budget! Highly suggest Dave Ramsey’s program. Set some goals. If there’s something you’re saving for, keep a pic of it in your wallet to help keep you on track. I usually ask myself..”is this going to help me get to our goal?” before I put it in my cart. When I’m in the fabric store, I just tell myself “14”…that’s the number of totes I have of stash fabric. I think I have more than enough! This helps me to keep to my designated shopping list. Sometimes I simply don’t bother looking at the sales ads or deals. If I didn’t need it before looking, why do I need it after looking at it? There’s always gonna be a great deal on something. This especially rings true when I’m trying extra hard to not spend any more than necessary. I do have a list of things that I”m keeping an eye out for so I can stock up/replace when they are on sale (like sheets).
Housework. Some put in their budget for someone to come in and clean and find that is more than worth the cost. For me it’s paper plates. I don’t have a dishwasher and paper plates are so worth it to my sanity especially on the weekends when everyone is home for 3 meals. Make a list of “essential” things that need to be done daily, weekly, monthly. I found that with a baby (and working part-time at home)it was unrealistic to have 15 min of uninterrupted time, but 5 mins was usually doable. I set a timer and went at things. I am amazed how much I can get done throughout the day with “stolen” 5 mins. Can you delegate any of these chores to your dh?
Organizing. You may just need to take the plunge and have a day to just organize things. Then figure out a system to help keep you going.
Take time to take care of yourself!
I am in a similar boat regarding organizing, budgeting, and balancing work and life. This blog has greatly assisted me but I limit my time reading to five minutes a day during the start of my daughter’s nap when she is not quite asleep. I keep very quite and get to enjoy a little me time. The second thing that has assisted me is a book series “One Year To An Organized Life” by Regina Leeds. I started with her financial organization as that was a greater need in my life. She breaks the organizational process into monthly and weekly goals. It has pointed me in the right direction and helped me to not get overwhelmed. I accomplish something each week and the little tweaks add up to a lot. It is a similar process to those recommended above and by Crystal but it puts it in black and white. While the cost of a book might not be in the budget, Crystal has provided many ways to earn Amazon gift cards so that you can get the item free. Also, enjoy this splendid time as your baby loves you and doesn’t care that the food budget is a little high. 🙂
I’m new to tightening the grocery belt 🙂 and I have found that the drugstore ‘game’ does NOT work for me. I have two boys, 20 mo. and 3 yrs. old and I just don’t have the energy to make it work for me-it takes time to learn! We eat mostly fresh, and my husband cares little for couponing and whether or not I do it, so it is something I do minimally. We live in the sticks and my husband is a builder-his job doesn’t take him past anything except a small town gas station. We don’t get out-except for the specific shopping trip, so hitting the deals is hit and miss (they sell out). Not only that, we live in AR so Walmart is huge here, and the little stores that double coupons are much farther away for me. My mainstay is a once.a.month Aldi stock up trip, and then weekly small trips for milk and odds and ends. I make a monthly meal plan with easy to prepare meals based on chicken and ground beef. I am NOT good at planning dinner, and it’s often last minute. So to simplify I have certain days of the week that I make the same thing-something my family loves and won’t tire of. On Mondays I have spaghetti night, b/c it is a very fast, last minute meal and Mondays are my shopping/weekend clean-up day. On Wed. nights we have a stir fry with chicken I marinaded on my freezer prep day (Crystal has a recent vlog for an easy recipe) I use a bag of frozen stir-fry veggies and make a basic sauce then just bake and slice my chicken to add to it and serve over rice.(I find that just dumping chicken in a greased pan is easier/faster than browning it) On Fri. my husband grills a whole chicken on the back porch-if it’s very inclement we can use the oven-it’s just more dishes that way. Then on Saturday for lunch we have Sloppy Joes,(NOT manwich-that stuff is vile! lol! I make the filling on freezer prep day, AllRecipes has a yummy recipe) and Sunday is soup day. Frozen vegetables and a vegetable steamer are my friends! Healthy, EASY, yummy sides. My boys love their veggies and fight me on their main course-I even bribe them to eat the main course with more veggies! LOL! I use my bread maker to have fresh bread around most of the time for snacks. (I use the dough cycle and make rolls-my blog has the recipe I use)
I am NOT an organized person-though I entertain fantasies of an organized, smoothly running life. I attest to the fact that no one ever drops in when the house is even sort-of clean, and usually, I’m not even dressed yet-but this works for even me 🙂 I am trying to implement a daily cleaning schedule, i.e. Mondays=general clean-up, Tues=clutter, Wed=bathroom, ect., so we’ll see how that goes!
@Sarah Jean, haha, oops-that got very long!
@Sarah Jean, our lives sound similar. I have 4 kids ranging from 2-14. We live out in the sticks. Do one big grocery shopping trip a month and then supplement as needed. Drugstore game is hit and miss for me too. Coupons are just not a big moneysaver. We usually have a Italian night, Mexican night, chicken night, beef night and definitely a pizza night at our house.
One thing I suggest is to start taking 15-30 minutes a day to read this website and others like it so you start to get familiar with how the deals work. You can also use this time to start printing/clipping coupons and organizing them if you are going the couponing route. Then, in a couple weeks when you have a coupon stash and are ready to hit the stores you will be clear on how the deals are supposed to go making everything run a little smoother. I also agree with the people who have said it may be best to start off with one store or in one category. If you can start getting all your health, beauty and household items for free or pennies it can be really motivating. Then once you have a small stockpile of those items you can shift your focus to a new area and not have to worry about getting every toothpaste deal for a while.
I second Johnlyn’s Flylady comment. Also, David Allen’s book Getting Things done has been invaluable, as has the website Mint.com for budgeting (there are other free budgeting websites out there as well; we’ve never had an issue, but some worry about data security).
Definately the number one thing to do is get out of debt. You must stop the overspending at the same time or you just keep digging a bigger hole. Paying down your debt makes you feel like you have control over your situation and you will want to keep yourself out of debt and be more careful with money after the hard work that it is to get out for debt. You may have to tell friends and family that you are working on getting your finances straightened out and you cannot eat out, etc. A friend used to ask me to pray for them to get out of debt and meanwhile she was handing over her credit card to pay for lunch. I would have much rather that she told me she could not afford to go out for lunch.
My advice would be to set aside a reasonable amount of time daily or weekly you can focus on saving/organizing. I have my coupons in a binder, but if you are just starting the little pocket organizer may be perfect for you. Focus on one area, whether it be groceries or health&beauty. Saving should be fun!!! So, don’t be too hard on yourself and take on too much. Enjoy your baby, they grow so fast.
Flylady will help you immensely with procrastination! Just follow one or two babysteps at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.
http://www.flylady.net
Enjoy that new baby! Time goes so quickly!
Last year our pastor gave a sermon on priorities, and it really helped me change my perspective. I learned that God wants us to focus on these things, in order:
1. God
2. Family (first spouse, then children – this strengthens a relationship, which is the foundation for raising children (and does NOT mean that children aren’t as important as our spouses))
3. Work
4. Self
It was a great sermon, but I misinterpreted #4. I thought that by putting everyone and everything else before me I would fulfill His requirement. Turns out, I only managed to make myself really, really tired. So I prayed, and eventually got the message that although I should maintain a servant’s heart, I still made God’s Top 4 list.
What am I getting at? Downtime. If you overextend yourself for long, you will burn out. We all need rest, mental and physical. Maybe you can carve out a little time each day for prayer (always prayer – we can’t do it alone!) and solitude. Or exercise. Or a hobby that soothes you. Whatever renews you will give you the strength you’ll need to make these life-changes you’re facing.
I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been there (and return occasionally 🙂 and I’m amazed and inspired by all the great comments here. What a wonderful group!
@Julia, well, it depends on what #1 means…God being first doesn’t nessesarily mean we are supposed to be doing/leading all the activities the church has to offer, I don’t think ‘doing’ has anything to do with God being a no. 1 priority. So often we beome distracted with all our ‘doing’ and makes us tired and therefore ineffective. We snap at our families or even just keep a sweet martyrs’ air about us. Having a daily walk is what keeping God no. 1 really means…letting Him permeate everything you do, everything you think…
@Sarah Jean, Thank you for clarifying; I did not mean to imply that we should immerse ourselves in church activities as a way to “put God first.” Yikes! I only meant that by keeping Him close, and allowing ourselves to rest, we’ll be better equipped to face each day.
I wrote the comment before my morning coffee 🙂
@Julia, haha, I come from a ‘do it all’ family-probably why it sounded that way to me!
@Julia, This is so true for 30 years I did put everyone else first and then I had a cheating husband, that walked all the money out of the bank accounts and walked off with everything we had. I was exhausted after having worked to put him thru medical school and we cut back so far that we had put off buying everything and even medical care for myself and children and then he made it thru and I was stuck with nothing and no way out.
So do put yourself first because it is really hard to start over again at 55 years old .
crystal has said it before, but i’ll say it again – dave ramsay was a real help in getting our budget figured out down to the dollar – my husband felt like he was getting advice from a man who succeeded in getting out of debt instead of me, his co-conspirator in our financial meltdown, and he likes the downloadable forms from dave’s website – we have a “big” financial meeting, usually on the 25th of the month, to plan the next month’s budget and it takes less than 30 minutes now that we have done it several times – also, no more time spent checking to see if we can afford something – my budget is set! at this season in our life, if i am not sure about a deal, i walk away and trust that i will see it again if i really need it!
@theresa,
Dave Ramsey’s plan just helped us get out of debt in the last week!! It felt like it was taking forever, but it was worth all the sacrifice and hard work. Now we plan on staying focued to get our emergency fund in place.
Pick one area and keep with it… I chose CVS and Target for my deals and am now adding a few more stores. You will see results!
Good luck!
@Meredith, praise the Lord! i am so happy for you and can hardly wait for our last day of debt to come! thanks for the encouragement!
@theresa, i forgot i wanted to say that doubling every good-for-freezing dinner is another big way i save time and money – less water, electricity, soap and time in the clean-up in addition to the obvious saving on another meal’s preparation! i wish i could do freezer meal days like i used to, but this is just where i am at right now!
Congratulations! Your greatest power comes in you being willing to look and tackle this issue. Being willing is a state of being and without it nothing much can happen.
How we do money IS how we do everything. However when we are willing to look at money and address this pervasive issue it’s amazing how the rest of our lives begin to become more orderly and calm too.
I’m not going to address most of what you wrote about as my “mommy” days are long past (my daughter turns 28 next week). But I would like to suggest some useful tools for tackling your bad money habits.
1. We already know you are willing to “look” at this issue. You’ve already conquered the first step.
2. Next, start to see where you have patterns around money. Be willing to recognize those bad habits no matter how difficult.
3. Be honest and tell the truth. It takes courage to be honest about ones thoughts, feelings and actions around money especially when they seem silly, embarrassing or weak. But this honesty will help you tell the truth as to what you are doing with your money and what needs to change. As you tell “your truth” be kind to yourself. It’s not as easy as it may seem.
4. Commit to taking action. I like to tell my clients all they really need to do is to move 1% each day towards their goal. If you take action in these incremental steps, at the end of the year you will have tackled a lot.
Your money story, your beliefs and actions, where formed early in childhood and more than likely came from your parents. You can change this story and this is the first step.
Good luck!
I think one of the keys to feeling a little more under control, and having less stress in your life is to have set family routines at different times of day- morning, afternoon, evening, etc. It helps you know what you need to get done, and gives you a framework for making sure that it happens. I did a whole series of posts on that here:
http://momof6.com/category/my-game-plans/plans-to-manage-the-house/setting-yourself-up-for-less-stress/family-routines/
But most of all- try to let go a little and make sure that you are enjoying this time with your four month old… it goes by so fast (I know, everyone has already told you that- but it’s true!)
Warmly,
Sharon
http://www.momof6.com
Budgets are your friend! A lot of people are scared of the word “budget,” but it’s really there to give you freedom. Once you get a budget in place (which can be as simple as sitting down and figuring out how much you’re spending already), you are FREE TO SPEND your budgeted amount on each thing each week/month. You don’t have to feel guilty about each little splurge, because you’ll know that latte was already covered and you’re not going to come up short on the rent because of it. As you get your financial feet under you, your “splurge” section of the budget will get bigger – but budgets take a lot of the guilt out of spending money.
@Wendy, 110% agree! Budgeting has rocked our world! lol
@Wendy, 100% True!!! Guilt free spending money is the best part 🙂
@Wendy, Budgeting has helped change our world. We use mint.com because it helps auto categorize your spending (if you are using debit or credit cards). This helped us first figure out where our money was going. Then we used that information to set our budget and goals.
It has helped save us time and money.
Whenever there is something (i.e. an electronic toy) that you want, resist it. My husband and I wait a couple months and if you still want it, research it online (price & reviews & compare brands) and make sure that you really want THAT one… wait & save a couple more months and if you still have to have it, then get it if it’s reasonable. Bottom line is don’t buy on a whim, shop with your head. … like grocery shopping when you’re hungry – make a list and eat before you go 😉
One thing my husband and I did when we had our first is add a DVR to our tv because we used to go our to the movies. At $10-15 a ticket for a night out (not including concession snacks) it gets expensive. So we decided to quit going and watch tv movies & shows we never were able to catch at home for an extra $5 a month. Give and take
Enjoy your baby, but don’t be afraid to put him/her down so you can get things done, it’s important to let them learn by themselves anyway. Time management is a good thing to work on (I like lists so nothing falls through the cracks) since it will get more challenging when they aren’t as easily contained, or when you have to feed them & clean up 3 meals and snacks a day. Of course, time management is difficult and something I am always working on…
The last thing I wanted to say is that you still need “me” time. Whether it is a long bath after bed time or a night out. I find that with 2 kids, my sanity and patience is hanging by a thread when I don’t get away from the kids for an hour a week. I like to go exercise or have a date night with my hubby. Good Luck!
@Stephanie,
This is so true… I will be the 2nd to admit that I cannot, absolutely CANNOT go an entire day with the kids without some kind of break, whether it be the gym, out to the stores for a half an hour by myself, or a dinner/latte date w/ the hubs. I have always felt guilty for being the kind of mom to easily lose my patience if I don’t get that alone or all-adult time for just a half an hour a day. I have VERY high energy 4 and 2 year olds. They are so out of control sometimes that I wonder what I’m doing wrong. A 3rd child is absolutely out of the question because of this. Sometimes there are days where I break down because of the stress of having to keep one eye on the kids at all times (an eye off for 1 minute and they are in trouble already) while trying to get my day-to-day chores done. I can’t even go to the store without my 4 year old grabbing stuff off the shelves and my 2 year old screaming her head off because she doesn’t like sitting in the cart. But then if I let her out of the cart, she takes off across the store and then I have to chase her down before she gets out of sight. Sigh. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it but I am hanging by a thread on some days and other days I sit and cry and wonder how to make it better. I have tried every discipline method in every book and website possible! Any tips appreciated!
@Jenn, Uh oh… This what I’m in for? It’s difficult enough having a crazy 3 year old & my youngest is 6 months (thank goodness she is so calm and quiet for now). But I have to admit that my patience wears pretty thin starting around 4pm daily. They must have an internal clock that says, “it’s 4! Now I don’t have to listen to mommy and I can do whatever I want.”
I love preschool! it gives me 3 hours 3 days a week to go shopping without the disaster. But when my son acts up I resort to taking things away like tv or desert or throwing a penny in the fountain outside. I will also take him for a “walk” in which I talk about his behavior and give him a time out or smack his tush (but I can’t do this alone with both kids). This works sometimes. He is very good in the car, but I have been known to pull over the side of the road and take him for a walk, or just not move until the whining/crying stops. The best defense I have against bad behavior seems to be nap time and snacks.
My cousin was afraid she would do physical damage to her son on 1 occasion and put her son in the shower and turned the water on (sounds harsh, but a cold shower does no harm and it REALLY worked for her, he stops bad behavior immediately if she asks him “do you need a cold shower?”); I have not gotten to that point yet but there are some days I keep that idea in the back of my mind.
It’s nice to talk to other moms. It helps me to know that I’m not alone, and it’s not just my child
@Jenn, do you have a room that you can make bomb-proof? Some place you can let your kids loose in, without having to worry about what they’d do to it? The idea I have is to empty the room entirely, even to covering electrical outlets with blank plates if necessary. Then add in things your kids like to play with or can destroy with your OK (from freecycle, craigslist free section, thrift store, church bin,… all the usual spots). Among other benefits, your kids might appreciate a place they can do what they want without anyone getting stressed about it.
I also have some ideas about the store problem, maybe they’ll help or help you think of other ideas. Is there a time or method that would allow you to take only one child to the store? For example, when the older is at school – if not this year, then next, I guess. This would cut the problem in half and if your kids are feeding off each other’s behavior, then there won’t be the other kid to continue the cycle. A little bribery might work, too – promise the kids a small treat if they behave well, and spell out what behaving well means (this one worked for me with a friend’s kids, who didn’t like shopping). Could your 2 yo go in a baby backpack? Are your store aisles wide enough to keep your 4 yo out of shelf reach? (Probably a silly question but I’ll ask it anyway). Are your kids well rested, well fed, and have snacks while you shop? (Probably another silly question.) Would bringing a portable DVD player be an option?
You talk about trying every discipline method you can find. How long did you stick with a method before deciding it didn’t work? I think of discipline as an investment – work upfront now to enforce the discipline and the return comes down the road.
Stephanie, one thing you could consider is switching treats (TV, throwing a penny in the fountain) from something to be taken away, to something that must be earned. Be specific about what it takes to earn that. For example, clean up what mom or dad tells him to and he can have a coin to toss.
Jenn, Stephanie, just checking the basics: are your kids getting enough sleep and a reasonably balanced diet?
I think most parents run out of cope more often than they admit in public.
Good luck. My grandmother, who was immensely wise in the ways of people, used to say “Good, bad, or indifferent, soon it will change.”
I moved into this arena a little less than a year ago. I absolutely agree that creating SMART goals is an excellent place to start. I wasn’t successful until I 1) got some SMART goals and 2) developed a driving philosophy: I buy what I use and use what I buy.
So when I find myself at the store and contemplating a purchase, I ask myself, do I use this kind of thing? Do we actually eat it? Do I wear similar clothes or am I just attracted to the “deal”?
Then, when I’m at home and thinking I’ll just run to the store to grab a pre-made dinner or a different sweater, I ask What have I already paid for that will work? I added several delicious and nutritious recipes to our regular menu just by making sure I’m using the vegetables I buy (rather than letting them rot in the fridge and then saying “Dang! But next time we’ll eat them”). I’ve also fallen in love (again) with my brown sweater and green jacket. :o)
Of we’re all driven by different goals and philosophies but my finances (and mental health–talk about easy decisions!) greatly improved when i started using this tool/philosophy.
Great advice for newbies but also great reminders for those of us who have been practicing this for years. Looking forward to your next post.
“I’m also a disorganized and a recovering procrastinator and money-waster.”
ME TOO! Type B personality commenter here! I really like that you said “recovering”. I am also a recovering money waster. It took me many years to finally let go of the guilt that I carried around for a lot of years because of that. Don’t let that define you anymore!
I will never be a super organized person. I just never will, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a train wreck.
– I learned that I can’t do a planner. I won’t even take it out of my purse to look at the thing, but I can get a smartphone and keep track of my appointments in there.
-I can’t plan 30 meals in advance, but I can check out the grocery deals on this website and figure out a few meals for the week.
-I cannot plan out my daily household chores a month in advance, but I can decide to do one thing everyday (or every…um…few days!).
I think you will really enjoy this blog. Crystal has some AWESOME tips and very encouraging, authentic posts. Just remember not to compare yourself to everyone else, drop the guilt, and focus on loving your family and enjoying your baby. I’ll try to remind myself of this too.
@Marie, P.S. A splurge now and then is good for everyone, so long as you have the money for it. My favorite splurge is a caramel macchiato from Starbucks.
I’m sure it was an honest slip – but you didn’t specifically mention to sit down with your husband and go over the goals and plan. You’ve always included that in your planning life posts and I think it’s really important. In our family, I’m the master planner (I have the time), but I make sure my husband’s on the same page and we support each other going forward with it.
Absolutely! I thought I had that in there from the get-go and then realized I didn’t specifically specify that, so I appreciate you catching that so I could fix it!
I empathize with your feeling of being overwhelmed. I struggle with it myself, for I began reading this website about 6 months ago when my husband lost his job. I’ve become a pretty decent couponer and deal hunter, and have taken some chunks out of our budget — taking on what I can manage at any given time. We’ve had great upheavals this year — husband has now found a job but it’s about 2500 miles away from home, so now I’m effectively a single parent for the foreseeable future. While of course I’m incredibly grateful that we’re both employed, I’m now a full-time working mother who has to parent alone and who is now entirely responsible for running a household without help. I have no relatives near me and no friends on which to rely for assistance. There are days when just getting through is all I can possibly manage! Of course I am grateful for all the blessings I do have, but life can be overwhelming, especially when I think of all the things I want to be accomplishing, particularly in the frugal living department!
My suggestion: I would take a deep breath and make sure you don’t expect yourself to completely implement an across-the-board change at once. Right now your hands are largely full, and it may not be the time to embark on a complete lifestyle revision. You could be incredibly frugal in all possible areas, but if it comes at the cost of spending this unrecoverable time with your child, it isn’t worth it.
Give yourself permission to make changes incrementally. Take a good look at all of the amazing advice on this site, and think about what 2 or 3 changes you can realistically implement right now, or in the next few weeks. Prioritize — what can you take care of now that will most help your family? Maybe it’s no longer eating out, maybe it’s reconsidering purchases that will lead to debt accumulation. Maybe it’s just discontinuing an unnecessary membership or other recurring cost. Maybe it’s starting to look for ways to stockpile 10 or 15 item that your family uses often. It could be couponing, it could be paying off debt. Identify what you can take on, and if it’s a big impact item, then wonderful. If it’s not, remember that the small things add up to big changes over time. Accomplish the things that you can do reasonably do in November. Then, once you’ve accomplished those, think about what you can reasonably do in December.
I would strongly encourage you to plan together with your spouse if that’s an option. Particularly if you and your husband can reach agreement on what your financial priorities are, you can make at least a general plan, divide responsibilities, and support each other in making some changes in your life together.
You can’t accomplish everything today, but that needn’t stop you from starting! Best of luck!
@Deborah, Also see if you can find help with a church for yourself. I know this does not always work in my case one year the church did not one thing to help but when I relocated we had a great church family so it does depend on the church family. Like any other family when it is your turn they are too busy or they are happy to help.
You brought up several issues which I believe many moms face: time, money, disorganization, bad habits, trying to work and be a mom! Crystal addressed mostly financial and will probably address some other issues in the future but I thought I would give a few suggestions.
Set aside 15-30 minutes a day to work on facing the bad habits and procrastination. Take 10 minutes to do one HUGE dreaded task, don’t be afraid of splitting the task up, but work steadily on it for 10 minutes per day until it is done (helps with feeling overwhelmed). This might be facing your budget, it will take several 10 min sessions to see where your family is financially right now and set goals of where you want to be and how to get there, and how much $ to allocate to each area. Another example might be reorganizing your kitchen, maybe you can take 10 minutes per day – the first day might be the counters, the next a few cabinets, and so on. STICK to the minimum of 10 min each day but only go over IF you have the time right then (sometimes you get going and a task isn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be).
Work for 10 min on preparing for the next day (this helps with that busy feeling). Fill the diaper bag, set up breakfast, plan out lunch and dinner. Pick out clothes after checking the weather. ANYthing that will make the next day easier.
Pray!
Make a schedule/routine. I know as a procrastinator I am very bad at doing this but it will help immensely to know what you’re supposed to be doing when and when things are going to get done.
I think this blog is helpful as a mother of young children and being a very unskilled procrastinating homemaker:
http://momsinneedofmercy.blogspot.com/
You might start with a category on the right that you need the most help with.
Make a list and shop from that list only, but be a little flexible – I always seem to forget to list something basic like bread or toilet paper. Reducing your spending takes time, just continue to chip away at it. 🙂 Ask yourself if the item you’re buying is worth the time you work to pay for it, what the item costs with interest when you buy with a credit card, or how much it will be worth in 2 years if you sell it at a garage sale, or how much it would cost and if you could buy it at a garage sale instead of right at that moment in the store.
Pray!
Talk to your husband and come to an agreement on your top priorities. He may not care if his clothes are ironed or hung up as long as it’s clean. He may not care if he eats pb & jelly for dinner as long as you have energy to be intimate later! Work together to figure out the areas that he wants you to work on first.
@Need A Nap2,
I totally agree about talking with your husbands about what are the most important things to him. as women we definitely tend to put importance on some things that our husbands really feel are that important. for example, my husband does not care if he eats the same thing for lunch everyday of the week. And although he really appreciates a home cooked meal, it is not something he needs everynight (cheese and crackers or pasta are great in his book!). I also have learned that a spotless house is an expectation of mine, not his. the only room he cares to keep clean is the bathroom.
Communicating each others expectations is key in every area of marriage but it also helps a ton when i dont have alot of time in a day. I know which areas are more of a priority and can just focus on those. then if there is extra time after that, i can tackle something extra
Take a deep breath and enjoy your baby. Those moments are very special and they don’t last long.
I was just do as has already been meantioned. Start with one store and begin slowly to work your budget around that. It is way to overwhelming with a new born to try and bit off too much at the beginning.
Hopefully you can have someone watch the baby when you go to the store so you can focus. Learn the layout of the store look for specials.
Congratulations on your new baby!
Thank you for this post! I feel overwhelmed most of the time, too and skip out on saving money. But you made me realize that it is possible and probably well worth it.
@Julie, “probably worth it” ? For us, making some simple changes–cooking from scratch, planning dinners, and stocking up a pantry with on-sale items–has cut our grocery/toiletry bill by $300 a month or more. With 3 teens in the house, that is huge.
I think one of the number one things that we must say “no” to is to expectations from others. This means avoiding the tupperware, pampered chef, etc. parties that make us feel guilty if we don’t buy something or at least book a party. This will result in both a savings of time and money.
@Renee, AMEN!!!
@Renee,
Amen!
Absolutely!
@Renee,
WOW – this is so very true! I cringe when I get an invitation to a home party because I feel bad by not attending or placing an order. It’s hard for me to say “no” to those invitations, because I do not want to hurt my friends’ feelings by not showing up. And when I book a party instead of placing an order to try to save money, I end up spending more money to host the party. It’s a vicious circle!
Think of it like losing weight- short term fixes like dieting don’t work! It is a commitment to changing how you view the world. Don’t deprive yourself of latte’s one month and then binge on them the next. Think of what that 4 or 5 dollars could do somewhere else in your budget. It could feed your family dinner one night. It could be put away in a saving account for your child’s education. How hard do you have to work at your job to earn that 5 dollars? Is it still worth it to you when you think of all the time and effort you spent?
@VirgiLia, I agree with this comment, but I have to go with the flip side. When my husband and I first started watching our budget more closely we thought, lattes! Those are expensive, we’ll cut those. But it ended up that we cut out our mini dates. We use lattes as a way to have a little time together when the kids are around. We go out on a walk with the kids or a long drive to somewhere special (the zoo, grandma’s etc) and get a latte and turn it into a mini date. When we cut out our lattes, we cut out our special time as well. Now we keep our coffee and instead of buying dinner out we eat cereal for dinner (or soup from a can or such) when it’s been too long of a day to cook from scratch. There are no right answers (like all lattes are bad) just better choices for your family.
Yup Money Saving Mom is a great site to get great deals, BUT that does not mean that I take advantage of all their deals, I would be stuck at the computer forever.
Pick one store that you regularly shop- I like Target, so when they post the deals for the week look and see if there is anything that you could really use, I am not going to print 3 different coupons to get a trial size bottle of Tide. Yes, it is a good deal, but you have to be picky. ANd by all means make a list and stick with it.
There are always things that I will stop and look at in the clearance section, but then I have to remind myself that they are mere wants and not needs.
In life we are faced we a vast amount of choices to make on a daily basis. Map it out and take one step at a time.
You can do it and with Crystal’s rockstar frugal tips you will get there!