So, as I mentioned on Friday, I tend to be the kind of person who avoids spending money on myself. I have a few select things I splurge on, I love to buy things for other people, but when it comes to myself, I usually always talk myself out of it.
I’ll re-wear something over and over again until it has holes in it. I’ll make do with what I already have. Or, I’ll just find a way to do without.
But it’s rare that I go and spend money on myself — especially on the spur of the moment. However, after reading Love Does, I’ve been inspired to be a little more spontaneous.
Now remember, I’m the Type A gal who enjoys spontaneity only when it is carefully planned. For me to even be remotely spontaneous is a big deal. And it’s even a bigger deal when the spontaneity involves spending money, too.
So you can imagine Jesse’s surprise the other night when he walked in the door and I met him at the door beaming to tell him my surprise, “Honey, I bought something today. And it wasn’t something I needed and I didn’t even have it on my list.”
You should have seen his shocked expression. Like who are you and what have they done with my wife??
“Guess what it was?” I went on.
He had no idea — or maybe he was just still reeling from amazement at my wild side. 😉
I finally spilled the beans, “I bought a candle at Hobby Lobby!”
We both had a good laugh at me as I proceeded to tell him how I had stood there in the Hobby Lobby check out lane with my one item that I’d gone in to purchase and then I’d seen the fall candles on display. I love candles — especially fall candles — and they were on sale, too.
It was everything against my nature to even consider buying one when it wasn’t on the list. But I reminded myself that I had plenty of blow money and that it would make our house smell good. And I reminded myself of how I’ve been trying to not be so tight-fisted when it comes to occasionally spending money on little things that would make me happy.
After a lot of inner dialogue at the checkout lane, I finally talked myself into paying a whole $1.99 for that candle. Y’all I think I just might be getting a spontaneous streak or something. 😉
P.S. Please tell me I’m not the only one who agonizes over a $1.99 purchase that’s not on the list. I’ve always been like this and I think some of us might just be born Frugal Weirdos. And yes, the Spenders just don’t get us… but we sure help save them a lot of money! 🙂
I had a friend come over to paint. She used a container for paint that she found in my cupboard. It was part of a set of three with covers – it cost me six dollars. I had agonized over whether it was a reasonable purchase, whether I could get it priced cheaper if I waited, whether I would really use them etc. etc. It was very hard making that buy. Her comment “do you have any other cheap tupperware containers we can use for paint so we don’t have to clean up, we’ll just toss them” WHAT!
I am the spender but my husband and I are taking Dave Ramsey’s course and I am hopeful. In fact I have learned a lot from my husband over the years and have come a long way. I have lost a lot of weight and encourage other women not to make food the only way they take care of themselves as is so common. If you do not take care of yourself you will have nothing left to give others. Spending without considering the consequences is not caring for yourself because you will eventually suffer or others will as a result of your decisions. But it is important for your children to see that you value yourself enough to take care of your physical and emotional needs because they will follow what you model. A joyful, confident woman who has her needs met brings joy to those whose lives she touches.
I used to be like that when my children were little. I promised myself that once our income improved, I would start buying things I really wanted to have. I recently bought a Coach bag I really wanted, but I bought the most inexpensive and practical bag I could find and I did not feel guilty (well, maybe just a tad).
Please teach me to fret over a $1.99 purchase that isn’t on the list… I spent $100 off the list last night… grr…
Sadly,I am so with you.
I couldn’t help but laugh when you said you had splurged on a candle. This sounds exactly like something I would do! After all, they don’t call me Thrifty T for nothing. :O)
Im so glad you posted this and now i dont feel like such an odd ball! I will have so much inner dialouge with myself that i get a headache!! I talk myself out of every purchase for myself and then I regret it later. Or if i happen to buy something for myself after agonizing over the decision then I regret spending money and guilt sets in. I have a hard time making decisions and I’m very frugal so its just a never ending thing. Its frustrating! Way to go on buying it and enjoying it!
Amen to that sister! It sounded like you were inside my head ’cause that’s just how I think! So glad to know there are other people that feel and think like that too!
Oh my gosh! I was laughing when I read this post because I did the EXACT same thing tonight at Michael’s. I went in with my 40% off coupon to buy a pack of safety pins, and saw the Fall candles on sale. I stood there smelling them and debating about spending the money with the same diaglogue going through my head. I broke down and spent the money too. 🙂
I think this just shows that you are a really good steward of your family’s money-more people could take a lesson from you! 😉 I definitely splurge more often on little things for myself because I feel that life is short and enjoying your day-to-day and feeling special is important, not just paying bills. Not everything can be purchased with coupons or deals and if I’m in Marshall’s and I see a pretty notebook for $3, I’ll grab it.
I go through a little ‘do I really need this?’ process a few mins before getting into the line to check out though. I ask myself if I really need it, if I can find it again later elsewhere when I have more fun money or if it’s so unique that I may not find it again for the great price it is. I always wind up putting something back and I remind myself that if I keep the receipt and get home and change my mind, I can always returns it. I put the item away with the receipt just in case I decide I need that money after all or don’t really need the item. That seems to work for me.
I actually laughed out loud when I read this because I’m just like that myself! Several years ago I had a friend who was so exasperated with me because I had trouble buying even small things for myself that she ordered me to not come back to work from lunch unless I had bought myself something. I wandered through the store for an hour trying to NOT talk myself out of everything I liked. I finally bought something for a few dollars just so I could tell her I had done it. By the way, my husband doesn’t understand that either and has no trouble spending on himself spontaneously. He sure appreciates how far I can stretch the money though!
I have been a member of both clubs at one time in my life and now I definitely lean more toward frugal. I’m *trying* to loosen up a bit and find a happy medium, but I’m a little afraid of reverting back to my spendthrift ways! I doubt that could happen, but I stay strict just in case 🙂
last time i was at my mom’s she refused to fix the holes in my armpits in this one shirt. she claims she’s fixed that shirt too many times… so I did it myself 🙂 frugal yes but i just love the shirt too!
Ha ha, I’m in the same boat! I suck at sewing so I am constantly asking my mother to repair my clothes. The last time I asked she totally refused and told me to go buy some new clothes! I haven’t bought clothes in 2yrs so I did go splurge (according to me), but I’m still going to fix the clothes full of holes ’cause I don’t want to have to buy clothes for another 2yrs, maybe 5.
After having a child I can not justify spending “blow” money anymore. I stopped with the magazines, coffee, makeup, salon visits, cds, books, clothing sprees, candy, dvds…If I can’t get it for free or under $3, I’m likely to pass. Fun for me is the library and I’m starting to drive my WHOLE family crazy lol!
Crystal,
I’d love to hear more about this “list” you keep?
I just always go into a store with a list of what I’m going to buy — instead of just going in and buying whatever looks good or is a good deal. 🙂
Thank you for making me feel like I am not the only one who does that! My husband always gripes that I talk myself out of needed things (generally for me), and it drives him nuts! Good for you on the candle (I love Hobby Lobby too!)… 🙂
You are not the only one. I almost never buy things for myself and even if it is $2!! Haha! Glad to know I’m not the only one. If I do buy something for myself it is with birthday money and I’ve been wanting the item for a VERY long time.
I cried the first time we went to Disney and paid $12 for a meal. It wasn’t even my money. My Mom gave us lots of money to overspend and I literally cried, right there in front of the restaurant.
So yes, I can understand.
I cried at Disney, too! It was my 10th birthday and I was SHOCKED at the dinner prices. My grandparents assured me that it was ok, it was in the budget, but I just felt terrible. The waiter suggested I order an appetizer pizza as my entree and I did, and I was so mad at my 5yo sister for ordering a $20 plate of spaghetti.
That is a ridiculous thing but whaddya do?
Soooooo jealous that you have a HL nearby! I’m dying for them to build one near us.
Yep, I’m with you!! I’m learning to “let go” more lately too. We’ve budgeted in “fun money” for my husband and me – we rarely spend it all, but it has helped us enjoy our money on the spur a little more!
You are not alone. I would have done the same type of inner dialogue. lol that makes me feel better.
It’s funny how I’ll agonize over spending a small amount for a “want”. I’ve stood in line before only to get second in line at the checkout and decide to put it back. Yet….I’ll spend the same amount or more eating out with my husband without a second thought! I LOVE to eat out, we do it once a week or less and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
While I don’t consider myself to be a big spender, the reason I try to cut back bills, coupon for anything I can and try to earn money on the side is so we can live a life where it’s ok to ‘splurge’. We went from 2 incomes and no baby to 1.25 incomes and baby, so we knew we needed to change. However b/c I can get toiletries for free or nothing, groceries for 1/2 price etc. I don’t have to think twice buying a soft drink from Somics happy hour, a favorite candy bar etc and my husband eats lunch out at work once a week. It helps is stay on track when we enjoy the fruits of our labor!
I can relate. My family jokes that if it isn’t on sale, I have a coupon and on the list, they will never get it. Sadly, it isn’t much of a joke! I think I need to loosen up a bit.
I can completely relate to you! I am exactly the same way when it comes to spending money! Every once in a while I set aside a certain amount of money and my husband and I go on a (small) shopping spree. But on a normal basis I am so frugal…..I always think what could I do with $1.99…..I could buy a whole pan of spaghetti, or a 2 loaves of bread, etc:) I am right there with you!
I need to be more like that! Even though we are trying to get out of debt I’m often like, oh, just $1.99, no big deal!
I completely understand! That is why my husband and I having our own “free to do with what you want” money has been great otherwise I would watch every purchase he made. 🙂
I am mostly a frugal weirdo as well. Especially on things like clothes and shoes for myself. I just make do. But sometimes this trait surprisingly disappears. Especially when it involves Sonic drinks at happy hour, or theater boxes of candy! 🙂
Oh, how I can relate! Some of us just genetically frugal. I remember years ago when the Tightwad Gazette books came out. I couldn’t wait until the end of the day when I could curl up in bed with my favorite read, and learn more ways for saving money. I felt like I was having a heart to heart with my soul sister. No wonder I named my blog Healthy Frugalista!
Yup, I’m the same way! I sometimes get jealous seeing people with all sorts of “treats” (non-necessities) in their carts and wonder how it would be like to “not care” and just buy myself something for the heck of it! This weekend I did buy a pumpkin spice latte and that was embarassingly agonzing.
I think that this ultra frugal mindset comes after successfully teaching yourself to not make impluse purchases for a long time- like while getting out of debt or living on a very strict budget. When on a strict budget we often feel deprived when we cannot purchase “just a little treat” since we have been so good. But we learn to resist and feel better for it in the end. But now, with our income up and debts paid off, and we actually do have extra money to spend, we can feel guilty or just be used to saying “no” that we still say no.
Several years ago, my husband had to go back to school to get his MBA for his job. We thought that his company would pick up the whole bill, but they did not. We had to find $13K in 1 year! At the3 time we had 3 kids plus 1 on the way. I was already staying home and home schooling. We sat down with our budget and took it back to the bare bones- no eating out, no entertainment (that cost money), no new clothes except what was neccessary,no mall shopping, $5 cable, so we could have news and weather- this was before internet, etc. We made it and it was not all that hard, really. Many of the things we did during that year were very special and my older children still remember.
Right after he finished, we were transfered across the country. So for 2 weeks we lived in hotels, ate in resturants and when we got to the new house we had to buy quite a bit to get it in shape. So after over a year of not shopping and not eatting out we had a huge dose of both. My 2 younger kids had only been to a restuant a couple of time (when grandpa came to visit). It was hard to walk into Lowes and buy so much after now buying anything.
Now, 15 years later, we remember that time with fond memories, but I still think about how simple our lives were and sometimes miss that.
Awesome! As a recovering uber-frugalista I can relate. Next trick: enjoying those candles burning away without thinking what they cost. Good luck with that! 🙂
I have to confess, though: in my old age I’ve gone soft. Now, when we go grocery shopping, I keep putting stuff back on the shelf and replacing them with either the deal of the day or the store brand version, as usual. Fine so far. But then we pass the candy aisle. It’s opposite the jams and jellies in our market. You can guess the rest.
“Honey, I’ve saved us $3.69 so far. This Cadbury Roasted Almond slab is 2 for $3. Look, we’re still 69 cents ahead!”
I don’t get invited to shopping anymore unless it’s at the end of the month and there’s some money left over in the budget. As my wife says: “I can’t afford you anymore!” 🙂
Hahaha! You are too cute! Lately when I want to buy something not on the list, my hubby would ask the question: “what would your MoneySavingMom say (about this purchase)?” Your frugal weirdness is inspiring to me and my family!
I am probably going to get in trouble for saying this, but…
I absolutely understand the need to squeeze every penny when you are in a very tight financial spot or working towards a goal, but once you can afford it, isn’t saving money for the sake of saving money, greed?
Why can’t we appreciate ourselves enough to think that we are worth a small purchase? Many of you have said that you have no problem buying an item for someone that you love, yet the thought of spending a few of dollars on something that will make you feel good is out of the question?
Let’s think of ourselves the same way we think about those we love. After all, we are the ones taking care of our families and when we feel good, they reap the benefits. As long as we can afford a small or a necessary purchase (like a good quality bra), why beat ourselves up?
Remember, stress can be deadly and doctor bills will add up much faster if we keep stressing over the small (and cheap) stuff. Think of that candle or that little treat as relaxation therapy.
Let’s give ourselves a little grace.
I agree……I have a friend who stresses out about spending even a small amount on herself, and it gets really tiring/sad to hear. Not because of the money, really, but because she doesn’t value herself enough to do something simply for her own benefit/pleasure. The ironic thing is that they make substantially more money than we do (our husbands are both military, so everybody knows how much everybody else makes) and I know they don’t have debt. They will deny themselves things like going to see family or getting a babysitter because it’s “too expensive”…..I do know they are extreme savers, so they must be denying themselves these things simply to add to their savings account.
Then I think about a friend who lost her husband, who was in his mid-30’s, in just a month’s time. They had no idea he would die so young, and it’s a good reminder to me that, while it’s important to plan for the future, you never know if you will even have one, so you should enjoy the present. If that means “splurging” a little or doing things that don’t increase your savings, it’s OK…..there has to be a balance, not one extreme (spending everything) or the other (saving everything).
I agree.
We worked really hard to pay off our debt and build savings, and now that we’re in a comfortable place, I am enjoying not agonizing over small purchases.
It’s important to keep lifestyle inflation in check. But spending a little is ok!
Is this part of your adding more beauty and creativity (and happy scents) to your life? If so, I approve! 🙂
Yep, I am with you! Totally a frugal weirdo….I have a very hard time spending money on myself. The other day there was some money laying on the vanity in the bathroom. I said to my hubby “It would be so fun to just go spend all of it….just for the fun of it!” He looked at me and said “oh yeah? Where would you go?” After thinking a few minutes I couldn’t come up with one store in which to jsut go blow $100! But even if it had been only a few dollars, I would have agonized over it.
I am so glad to hear of others that are like me. I rarely purchase items for myself. I am also one who will wear an item out an then see if I can repair it to avoid having to purchase a new one.
I used to be a spender and my husband a saver. Now my husband says I am tighter with the money than he is. In the recent past I can not think of a time where I felt deprived of anything. Something I felt on a regular basis when I was a spender.
Amen Sister!
I’ll spend $0.30 less on a hamburger and get one without the fancy toppings because I’m trying to save money even though I really want the other burger. The silly things we do!
I WISH I could relate! I don’t spend much on me, but I don’t feel the same restraints on spending for the home. I don’t spend super extravagently on home purchases (I’m talking a plant for the entry, nice dish soap for handwashing, or a few mini pumpkins to decorate for the season). But I would consider a candle a home purchase, not a personal one! Good for you!
It is nice to know that I am not the only person out there like that! Even if it something we need if its not on sale and I don’t have a coupon, then I don’t buy it!
Depends on the purchase! I’d never buy a $1.99 candy bar on a whim because I wouldn’t think it would be a good value, but a candle at that price? Sure, why not. My husband and I both have a monthly budget for money to blow. It’s not a lot, but it’s our fun money to spend however we see fit. The bills are paid, savings & retirements funded and we get to spend it on whatever we want. I always have some left over at the end of the month and I’m saving it toward something special…what, I don’t know yet, but I’ll know when I find it – probably on a whim, which I’ll then go home and research to see if it’s a good value, then follow through 🙂 So good for you for making your impulse purchase – we are all entitled to one now and again if there’s room in the budget!
When I first started blogging and made my first little check, I went to Hobby Lobby and bought a small inexpensive table (with a coupon of course!) for our front foyer. I had never spent so much at one time in Hobby Lobby, and I kept waiting for the cashier to stand in shock at my huge purchase! Apparently spending $40 is pretty common there though, because no one other than me was in shock. 🙂
Enjoy your candle!
Girl, I do the same thing and I DID the same thing the other day, list in hand, at Dollar General. I went in with my daughter and had no problem picking up a pair of zebra-striped fleece pants for her that she wanted for $8 (it helped that I had a DG coupon for $5 off of a $20 purchase). However, when I spotted a $3.50 Mrs. Fields Oatmeal Cookie candle, I must have wrestled the lid off of the glass jar 40 times and indecisively sniffed it, and I still had to reason with myself that it was okay to buy because it would make our house smell good. I fired that candle up yesterday and again today and let me tell you, it was a wise investment and it smells sooo good! I am proud of myself for loosening up the purse strings for something small I wanted “just because”. Life is too short and we work too hard to be afraid to spend a little once in a while on ourselves. Go us! Woohoo! <3 <3 <3
I think we all have a little spontaneous shopper in us, just with different price points!
Ha ha, I definitely relate! I’ve stood in front of the clearance section before and debated back and forth whether that $.50 item I often use was a good idea since it wasn’t what I was there for! I sometimes have to ask my husband if I’m being silly or not. =P
I am the exact same way. One thing I have a hard time spending any money on is bras. I umm…. am very blessed in that department and when my bras wear out I start having shoulder issues and headaches but I will just keep putting it off. I have enen wore bras with one side of the wire missing!!! I really can’t even believe I’m typing this! But my dear sweet husband keeps my size and brand and orders them for me cuz he knows I won’t. I guess I figure no one sees them so who cares?
Well, we are in the same club….my husband orders my bras (and underwear) too!!!! I just got some new panties in the mail the other day. He boutique online shops. Got them for super cheap. Granted I have, and use, my blow money, it’s never on bras or underwear.
I have the same issue! They really are needs, and the one I have now has an underwire that is broken in half and some of the hooks are missing but I always think of something more important. Wow typing it makes me realize I just need to bite the bullet and buy a new one 🙂
You have a fabulous husband!
I relate. Three days ago I splurged on Puffs Plus with Lotion (no coupon!) for my aching and raw nose. Normally I’d just use some Vaseline, but that day I thought, “I deserve a happy nose today!”. My husband mocks me for these little quirks, but my frugal regimen and coupon clipping has kept us afloat financially through some tough times!
Frugal Wierdo declared I spent 30 years saving every 1/4 penny I could not even taking care of my own needs. Put it all in an account we were calling retirement. He moved it all to his name only and then filed for divorce. Declared that was all his all along. Now I have no food, no clothes and no home. So Now I wish I had spent ever year (by the way the account had over $400K) Ladies if you are a stay at home wife beware I always thought the law protected us. He quit his job lived off of that cash until the divorce was final then he went back to work at $450K per year. He is laughing every day now and has now stashed over 2 million and I can’t afford to fight him so the rest of my life is looking for a place to sleep and something to eat. Something to keep warm. (Lots of library time!)
I’m sorry to hear someone was so rotten to you. There can’t be much joy in his laughter.
Great story! My husband makes me use my blow money. He is an accountant and swears by it. The theory is that if you spend a little on yourself in spurts that’s budgeted, you will less likely make big mistake purchases. At first, I was sneaky and would put it into the grocery budget or spend it on cvs deals. Once I started doing smaller things for myself, temptations for unneeded things at the grocery and other places have subsided. I’m happy we at fortunate to have the spending money. I like the fact I can buy a necklace for four bucks to go with an outfit, and not feel guilty.
Our youngest daughter is an accountant and she lives the same way. She has always been good about having money in her budget to just have fun with but she also started saving for her first house when she was in college. There is a balance that needs to be reached in spending.
I did the same thing but didn’t give into it! $2.50 candle. Instead I went for a whole 2-liter of club soda ($1) with some limes (15/$1). I’m feelin’ ya girl!
When I was single, my agonizing dollar limit was $100. When I got married, it dropped to about $40. When we had our first child, it dropped to $20. Now after our 2nd child, it’s about $5. And I find myself putting back a $2 item that I want for me but having no problem spending more for others.
Sounds like me! I just had my 3rd baby, so my agonizing dollar limit is now at….about $1 :o)
The best present my husband ever gave me was when we were going through a financially tough time. It was a candle. When he gave it to me, he explained “I got this for you because it smells nice and it’s pretty and it cost less than $5 so you wouldn’t have to worry about me spending too much money on something we don’t need.” It sounds silly, but that’s exactly what I needed to hear right then: that my husband *got it* about our financial woes (even though I’m the worrier in the family).
How sweet!!!
I am so much the same as you in that depertment thanks for sharing and I to am trying to learn that its ok sometimes to do for our self
Great job!
If you decide you’re gonna do it again you can print out the 40% off any one reg. priced item coupon online this week! 🙂
Haha! Thanks for the laugh. I can definitely relate but when Mama is happy I notice the whole house is happy. So in order to maintain our sanity and the peace in the household we gotta splurge sometimes. Our loved ones will thank us. 🙂
Oh I am the exact same way!
Yep! I’m like that too! I very rarely spend money on myself unless it’s something I’ve been needing (or wanting like a new camera that I saved for). I am NOT a spender (although like you, I’ll spend for others :)).
My struggles are usually with stuff that costs s little more 🙂 Today I bought a dress at Target I’ve been watching to drop to 70% and got it for $5.40. I usually only get clothes there with coupons but they haven’t had any in a while and this was bought with my blow money (and it’s only the 1st!). My friends think I’m wierd too when I say “I saw something at Target I want but it’s only 50% off so I am waiting until it drops further and I can pair it with a coupon.” They sometimes will even say “I saw that tote bag you wanted, it’s now 70% off!”. If you shop there enough you just know that when there’s too many of something left it will go lower!
I’m the exact same way. I was grocery shopping with my daughter the other day and we walked passed the Avocados and she asked me why I didn’t put on in the cart. I told her that it wasn’t on the list. Her reply, but mom, you really like Avocados. : )
I really do like them, but I’m the only one in the house that does so I rarely purchase them. It’s hard for me to spend money on something that is solely for me.
I did buy myself one that day. It was 49cents well spend! : )
Another frugal weirdo here….even one who loves fall candles just like you! I have done that sort of thing many times….and I have ‘allowance’ (money that is mine to spend however I like) I could use and not affect the family budget in any way, but I still have these internal arguments over the littlest things!!
I completely relate. I’ve always been an extreme frugalist. While we do splurge as a family from time to time, I rarely do on myself. My blow money is my Christmas and birthday money from my parents. $25 from each – and trust me I rarely spent that total of $50 in a year’s time. Most of it goes onto the mortgages 🙂 When they’re paid off I *might* spend the whole $50. Kudos to you for treating yourself!
Good for you!
I think we must be cut from the same cloth! I feel exactly the same way about splurges!
Your post is a good reminder….. I should go buy some new socks!
Oh girl you are definitely not alone! I love to be spontaneous when it comes to going somewhere with family or friends but shopping is a whole different issue. I make list, bring my coupons, and shop for myself rarely. I do have fun when my hubby makes me shop for me but I will agonize over food in the grocery store that I want if I don’t have a coupon or its not on sale and clothes are even worse. I have spent hours in a store and put it all back even if it was on sale cause I just didn’t want to spend the money me. Lol
This really made me smile. I must admit that although I am frugal and must be- I do like spending money- I just like to get the most for however much money I plan on spending. For instance, I shop online with coupon codes for clothes and once spent 3 hours late into the night trimming a $150 purchase into a $40 purchase just with coupons and buy one get one free. lol. BTW, wish I had a Hobby Lobby in our state- I’d stock up on those candles! 🙂
Do you have a Target? They carry a nice brand of candles now and they go on clearance every quarter.
Nope you’re not the only one though my husband would claim I can be worse I don’t see it though. I will buy a box of cereal off the clearance shelf because I know we’ll use it even if not on the list. I refuse to budget clothing other item even if it’s for me going to work. My husband gets so mad at me. I’m wearing a few items from middle school LOL not wearing them well but well enough for around the house 😉 Hey nearly 20 yr old clothing can’t beat the quality they had back then LOL! I did splurge myself though today. I found some really cute fall oven mits and little kitchen towel at the dollar store and my husband had been complaining that all the cotton was showing on mine LOL and I finally broke down and bought a wreath hook instead of trying to tie things up with yarn. I went on a $10 shopping spree! … only to get the phone call that after insurance my daughters teeth extractions (baby teeth refuse to budge) is going to be $200 out of pocket and my daughter announced she lost her money I gave her for her Bete Club entrance *hangs her head* Boo… I went on a $10 shopping spree *shuffles feet and goes back to clipping coupons and budgeting every penny*
But good for you and just think you didn’t spend just a $1.99 on a candle you spent $1.99 for a cute glass jar AND a candle see… *touches her nose* got to re-think these things out 😉
Good for you! I am oknwith the small things, but those things add up so I should watch that. My husband told me to splurge and get myself a new lens for my camera. This was over a year ago. I’ll eventually do it 🙂
Nope! You are not alone! I have even returned small indulgences! For anyone else, fine but for me, it’s a struggle to justify! Glad to know I am not alone!
I TOTALLY get it. I agonized over a small shamrock shake at McDonald’s a few years ago, decided not to get it, and my hubby thought I was ridiculous- said if it’s the only $2 I spend all year, it’s ok. Now, however, since we’ve finally paid off my last student loan (!!!!! =)) I am starting to become a little more “spontaneous”. I got take out Thai food for lunch for us one day last week (although I made sure I had enough money in my “blow” budget for it first, of course!).
You are not the only one. My husband always tells me to buy something…knowing full well that I won’t! Ha. Good for you, Crystal. I hope you enjoy your new Fall candle!
Yep…just tonight I passed up a set of two nice travel mugs for 4.99 at Aldi. Sigh*.
Thank you so much for your confession. I am so like you. I am also a list maker and of course, the household items are always on there first. I hate to shop for myself. My husband has to go with me to make sure I buy clothes or shoes, because I won’t take the time. I keep putting it off. Every now and then I do as you did and it is so funny, because I usually go back and forth about whether or not I should have spent the money on the item. I agree, I think we are just born that way:)
It is so nice to read your post and all the comments and to know I’m not the only one so weird 🙂
Nope. Not just you. In Sam’s the other day, I left my hubby picking out ground beef while I went to the ladies’ room. When I came back, he had already gone through the check out line (It was a slow day, and there weren’t many people around).
He had spent an extra $5 on a box of chocolate eclairs. I began chastising him for spending our hard-saved money on frivolity, until he looked me in the eye, and with a smile said “I haven’t bought you a treat in a while. I’m your husband and I get to pamper you every so often, and besides, they were on sale, so THERE!”
We spent this weekend eating them while watching movies and cooking soup for our church’s soup fellowship. So. Totally. Worth it. You’re not going to be on your death bed some day, berating yourself for spending $2. Enjoy life a little!
I am definitely this way! I am expecting our third little one in January. Since my first two kiddos were born in September and August, I am needing quite a bit for my maternity wardrobe. Combining the fact that I am plus size with a serious lack of thrift stores in my area makes it very difficult to find used maternity clothes, so I budgeted a decent amount to spend on building my wardrobe. Even with this money set aside for this particular purchase, I found myself very hesitant on spending it! We are talking about clothing that I actually need (assuming that I don’t want to wear too short shirts and gym shorts until January!) and I struggled with spending the money. My hubby, being a spender, totally couldn’t understand me not being excited to have a whole chunk of money set aside specifically to spend on myself!
I’m in the same boat, only the baby is due in December. I found two pairs of yoga-like pants (one on clearance, one in the bottom of my pajama drawer LOL) that will get me through with the two other nicer bottoms I have. I’ll likely wear the same two tops every time I leave the house. I have money set aside for some new jeans after the baby comes 🙂
I understand what you are saying. It’s so hard to spend money on maternity clothes you may or may not wear again! I too am plus sized and found it tough to find decent looking/fitting maternity clothes that weren’t ridiculous in price. Target clearance racks helped a little but most of my clothes came from Kohls. I have a card so I waited for a 30% off coupon and bought online and in the store from the clearance/sale racks. I got a lot of short sleeved and/or sleeveless tops and wore them with my regular cardigans when it was cooler. I got by with 1 skirt and a few pairs of pants that I just mixed and matched with the shirts. I knew I wasn’t going to wear them again so spending a lot was a horrible thought!
Frugal weirdos… that’s us! 😉
You sound a lot like me. I’m glad you bought yourself the candle and are enjoying it! You deserve it after all! 🙂
I agonized over something half price at the Thrift Store today. It was 95 cents. A really pretty glass container that would look nice decorated with pine cones in it for the fall, Christmas balls in December, etc. I kept going back to it. At first I could not remember where in the store I had seen it, and was upset that I thought someone else bought it! Finally I found it again on the shelf. After about a half hour, I left the store without it. Even if it is still there tomorrow, no way will I pay the full price, since the sale is off. The full price is less that two dollars! I should have bought it!!
I can relate about the obsessing, but it totally depends on the item for me. I tend to buy . . . But I also return a lot ( though not as much as I buy!) after realizing I don’t need/want/like whatever I bought. Somehow, buying something often clarifies whether I want it. Today, however, I had the best trip ever in terms of buying confidence. I went to Old Navy because I noticed their yoga pants were in sale and some yoga tops were on clearance. I got a clearance yoga top, one that was on sale, a pair of yoga pants, and a cute clearance top for my daughter. I used a $5/$25 purchase coupon on my $30ish purchase *without agonizing about putting something back* (in order to keep the purchase as close to $25 as possible, thus “maximizing” the percent discount–and also maximizing my angst about the purchase!).
I agonized over $3.99 flowers at Aldi today. They were beautiful fall colors. In the end, I didn’t buy them because we are really tight right now, and I figured that money was better off being spent on fresh produce instead. But they sure were pretty! 🙂
Seriously, those $3.99 bouquets of flowers are always calling my name! Even worse is when I’m with my little girls and they say things like, “Mommy, are you going to buy those? You LOVE pretty flowers!” I always go for the fresh produce as well. As pretty as flowers are, you can’t eat them 🙂
I tend to be more spontaneous but review things intensely that are on the list. Especially if they aren’t on sale or I don’t have a coupon. I usually talk myself out of it unless it is absolutely necessary to have that week. I will buy a spontaneous good deal, but the list can get me every time.
Totally understand 🙂
I used to be that way until my husband became so ill he almost died. It was a long time figuring out what was wrong….and during that time nothing seemed to matter-clothes, food, decorating,etc… After two years of that and him getting a little better, I decided to enjoy life because we don’t know how long we have, and I want to remember good times and not always agonizing over whether or not to spend the money. ( Don’t get me wrong , I’m still not a big spender, but also not as tight any more :0). I’m learning to enjoy every day as a gift.
Great perspective! Thanks for sharing!
I was the same way and then my husband also was critically ill and ended up having open heart surgery. We are only 35 and I thought I might lose him. My agonizing over every little thing went out the window. I am still frugal but we also want to enjoy life. I let him get the boat he always wanted (granted he traded things for it and it only cost us $100 out of pocket). But I never would have before. I am much more lenient to say, go ahead and get things or even treat myself to special coffee creamer ect. I am happier and more relaxed and we enjoy every day now.
Thank you for this perspective!! After my mom recovered from breast cancer, I vowed to let my family splurge some, have financial freedom and just enjoy each day. So, if we’re driving down the road, and my husband wants to grab a bite out, I’m all for it. I think keeping that happy balance actually helps keep money from having a hold on our lives. Whether spending too much or being too frugal, it can start ruling you so quickly! Hebrews 13:5.
Oh, yes. Me, too. I look at something and think “its really not worth that much” or “I don’t want to spend that much” and will pass on it. Then, my in-laws, if they are around, will say “well, I’ll buy it for you, then you aren’t spending your money” and I say “no, its not about who’s spending the money, its that the money is being spent” but they still don’t get it.
For better or worse, Hubby gets it.
Whew…I thought I was the only one 🙂
$1.99 won’t be an item I’d agonize over but $20 definately! I’d be right there with you as a the Frugal Wierdo!
Totally made me laugh out loud as I can relate. I am truly glad not to be the only weirdo out there. Thanks for sharing!
Megan
Thank you for writing about this!! I now don’t feel so alone. I am a former spender (and was VERY good at it) but after working so hard to pay off our bills from being that spender I have a hard time justifying something that I want and don’t really need. That said, I have to share this. Two weeks ago a large chain clothing store sent me a $15 off a $15 purchase coupon and I thought yahoo, I can get something for free!! When I made it to the store, nothing – not even the clearance racks had anything for under $15. The closest thing to free I found was a pair of underwear which would have cost me $2 after my coupon. I was so peeved about their prices that I walked out without using the coupon, muttering to my husband about not supporting a store that charged that much for their products!! He kinda thought I was nuts!!!
Your husband should meet my brothers. They think my roommate and I are crazy! We do that ALL the time. Usually my roommate won’t buy anything unless someone has given her a gift card.
I think you are wonderful. I ended up spending $8 on some candles to give as gifts that are beautiful but were on close-out. I came home and have been agonizing ever since. Geesh. It wasn’t our last dollar or even close, just gifts that I am too cheap to buy for myself. I get it.
I can totally relate! Although, since I started working full time again, I’m not *as* frugal as I was when I was a stay at home wife, I still don’t buy much for myself! Hubby surprised me this year and for our anniversary took me shopping and told me we were buying pretty hair accessories and dresses for me, because he likes those and I don’t ever dress up and do my hair anymore 🙂
I understand! I always thought it was great that I’m so cheap and rarely buy myself makeup or fancy clothes or anything … but my husband (politely) mentioned that he loves it when I get dressed up a little for date nights or church. I asked a friend to teach me how to do my makeup, and I pick up more stuff for myself now (still cheap at CVS, of course) – and I don’t feel guilty spending a few dollars here or there. If my husband appreciates me looking nice, then sometimes it’s worth it. 🙂
After an exhausting work week, I deliberated and even called my mom to help me decide whether to use a Qdoba meal deal for a lazy Friday night dinner!! It was worth my sanity for sure : )
Oh, I love that Qdoba meal deal! Just wish Qdoba was closer than 1.5 hours away…but if it was closer, I suppose then I’d take advantage more often 🙂
Thanks for the honesty today, you made me smile! I tend to be more “free” with my purchases, especially if it is under $2. But my sister is just like you spending-wise, so I “know” how you feel. 🙂 Glad you felt the freedom to splurge a little!!
I totally get it. My last time was a $3 hair clip I didn’t (and still don’t) need.
Girl, you are not the only one!! 🙂 My family just doesn’t get it!!!
Nope. I have plenty of mental freedom to spend under $2.oo.
thats awesome….i do that too 🙂
thanks for the article.It made me smile coz I’m like that too. I dont feel good buying something as cheap as $2 without an accompanying coupon. Bot come to think of it, since I have my $10 blow money, so i think i shouldntfeel guilty about it. I think I should loosen up a little bit.
My husband and I are in the middle of Dave Ramsey’s FPU classes right now. I had read all his books and listen to him on the radio all the time. I have implemented his envelope system and we have done a great job not really buying anything we do not NEED. In one class, Dave talks about having some blow money and our small group talked about it. We had never worked this into our budget before. My husband and I decided we will both get $10 a month each in blow money. At first I was thinking that I didn’t even want any….but just thinking that maybe I can buy something like a candle, or a bag of fancy chocolates once in a while has just made me so excited! Now I think I will be able to get those little things without any guilt!
My husband and I are taking it right now, too. I totally need a blow money envelope. I was in Walmart tonight and talked myself out of buying the All You magazine…even though I know I get my money back with the coupons in it usually! I also need a clothes money envelope for me for the same reason…unless it is on clearance I don’t buy it, and I still agonize over it. Nice to know we’re not alone! 🙂
You are ME, 10 years younger. 🙂
I’ll be bold enough to say it – I do not have that problem!
I am a proud frugal weirdo… I stress over things less than $1.99… I am proud of my self control and my inner dialogue. Although I am also trying to loosen up!!
I normally do that over little snacks that I would really like…like a little box of lemon heads…I will pick them up, put them back, pick them up again and then get to the checkout and tell the cashier I changed my mind LOL and those are only $.35 or $.98 haha!
I do have to say, now that I am pregnant the baby helps me not agonize over such silly decisions 🙂
Ha ha! Yep, I’m pregnant too and sometimes my baby just NEEDS some McDonald’s fries! Or some chocolate…or who knows… 🙂
I am the same way when it comes to purchases for myself! Loved reading about your struggle to spend $2 on yourself! I feel ya!
I had the same experience the other day at Hobby Lobby! I think I stood there for an hour trying to decide if I should spend any money. And Fall candles are one of my favorite things to splurge on, too. We are one in frugal spirit!
I will definitely join your club! I usually talk myself out of it. The only time I didn’t was when I bought two $4 scarves at Rite Aid (these are the types of scarves everyone’s wearing and are usually $15-30 at dept stores). That was last fall!
I am exactly like that. It’s so much easier to spend on others. I have to totally rationalize something for myself but if someone else needs or wants it that’s a different story. I don’t know of the times I found a great item for super cheap and didn’t get it, finally talk myself into it hours or days later only to go back and it’s gone.
I feel your pain! I’m still agonizing over the purple (my favorite color) tweed dress I did not buy at the consignment store last year. It was already on sale, but not ENOUGH on sale. When I went back, it was gone. 🙁
I do this all the time! Even on groceries. I know it is something we will use and it’s on sale, but it’s not on my list or figured into my budget I’ve made even though we can afford it….then I have to laugh at myself 🙂
I’ve been dying to buy the new generic “Nutella” from Aldi because it is only $1.99!!! But I pass by it every time because it is such a want. But then I’m afraid they will discontinue it! Maybe I’ll just have to pick it up this week… Wait – is it $1.99 or $2.99?? Either way a smashing deal compared to the name brand stuff!
My roommate and I love the Aldi Nutella!
After being a big spender for most of my life, I’m starting to get really tight with money. I’ve definitely agonized over a $1.99 purchase. I’ve also talked myself out of buying some basic necessities because I didn’t like the price tag ($3 for a box of q-tips??? I’ll go to the dollar store…at some point…).
My name is Amanda, and I’m a frugal weirdo.
The Aldi Nutella is something you can use like peanut butter. My favorite is a banana and Nutella wrap. You spread the Nutella on a tortilla…place sliced bananas on top….and roll up. It is both delicious and nutritious!
And, it makes sense the Aldi brand would be delicious…Aldi started in Germany and the first time I had Nutella years ago was when my niece (who lives in Germany) brought it to the states with her on a vacation–to use on top of her waffles while here.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! 🙂 I splurged today on a hair cut… I only got my hair cut once last year {yikes!} and I’ve decided I need to start taking care of myself better so I finally got my hair cut and am planning to do it every 2 or 2 and a half months! $150 a year is not bad deal 🙂
Good for you! I too only get my hair cut once a year. I’ve come to the same conclusion though. I realized last week that I only own one pair of shoes (sneakers) and I’d owned them for 3 years now! No wonder my feet hurt when I walk too much. I always put my family first, but I’ve decided to stop considering taking basic care of myself a “splurge” and actually allow myself to look and feel good. I’m not even talking manicures or facials – just haircuts, basic clothing, and shoes!
And I thought I was the only weirdo around! Your story sound so familiar.. too funny.
Moms always deserve good shoes! We work so hard and are on our feet for so many hours everyday and if we worked outside the home on our feet all day we would surely have good shoes. The shoes that I can wear day after day without foot pain cost $115 a pair at the cheapest source I can find and I replace them about every 18 months. They are worth every penny!
I have very wide feet and buy my shoes at Foot Solutions. Not frugal at all but it has to be done so my feet are comfortable.
I think it is frugal if they fit properly and save you aches and pains. I spend $100 on Born shoes and wear them for two years. I much prefer that to two or three pairs of poorer quality ones.
Last week I got my first haircut in over a year, AND bought a pair of shoes for $14.99 at TJ Maxx…and pretty much for the reason as you. I realized I was not taking care of myself at all. Kind of sad, I think, that we neglect oursekves so much.
Katie,
I did the same only the stylist took all my hair I have such a short hair cut now it looks like a mans cut never again she cut like 10″ when I asked for a trim. I had not been in almost a year and now I’m never going again! Nothing is worth this!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I’ve had similar disasters happen to me and it’s terrible. I once had a lady perm my hair (this was the 90’s) and after she washed the chemicals off, she said that she’d trim the ends. She ended up cutting my hair so short, and with the new perm, my hair was sticking out like a porcupine. I wanted to die. The thought of wearing a paper bag forever sounded like a great option.
If you ever get over your fear of hairstylists, you need to do your homework and interview them first. Yes, you go to a salon and ask for a free consultation. You are the customer and will be paying them for their services, so you have to make sure that you feel comfortable with him or her.
This may not work at the discount hair places since they have to keep rotating customers quickly (and those were the places where I had my disasters happen), but it’s worth it to find a good hairstylist who will listen to you and get to know you and your hair, even it it costs more.
I am trying to save money but my hair is the one thing that I will not give up. I get it colored every 3-4 months and get a cut every 5-6 weeks. I’ve had the same hairstylist for 5 years and I love her! She charges me $35.00/haircut, but we live in a high priced area. She also gives me a free clean-up in between haircuts so I can wait a little longer to get it cut.
Every time I get my hair done, I feel so much better about myself. Since I do my own nails and don’t get massages or facials, I consider this my indulgence. It’s so worth it.
You might be able to feel more girlie with some little barrettes or a scarf. There’s lots of inspiration on Pinterest. Maybe some pretty earrings?
I’ve been cutting my hair myself for three years now! I guess I’m a committed tightwad.
Me too! –for more than three, I think. I do spend money on stuff (like the candle might have been fairly easy) but tend to be so frugal I get teased by my husband. I always point out to him now when I am *spending money* on something! But since I *can* cut my own hair and get by with it totally (no one knows), I just can’t bring myself to go anywhere. That said, I have decided that my hubby will go somewhere to get his hair cut next time instead of my doing it. It’s a combo of reasons, but since we can afford it, I say that’s what’s going to happen. We just traveled back to our former home where there’s a beauty college and the cuts are really “cheap” but not bad–and he actually went there for the third time. But next time…in our new home…I’m hoping he’ll go to the barber we’ve noticed who is convenient. And my husband is NOT trying to be frugal–he just wants the convenience of me cutting it. 🙂
back to the candle….I was just given a Hobby Lobby fall candle last night! It’s beautiful. I don’t think it has a scent??? but it sure is lovely. (Have it packed up already as we leave for home today.)
one more little thing…I don’t comment on here very often, but Crystal, I sure appreciate you and I appreciate a place where I can not only get ideas on anything, but I feel like I have a support place where I’m understood! 🙂
I agonize over my purchases once I get home, because I didn’t have a list. I ALWAYS have a grocery list, but not for those “other” purchases. You’ve inspired me to make lists. I feel silly for not thinking of this before. Thanks for sharing!
And it isn’t weird, but nice to see that you did buy it, and are enjoying your little $1.99 piece of happiness.
I tend to be like this to a degree, but $1.99 isn’t usually a price-point that I obsess over. =P
Now when it comes to going places, I am totally and completely NOT spontaneous. I really hate not having advance notice about that, but I’m always trying to learn to become a little looser about that, especially when my husband suggest spontaneous outings.
I bet you’ll get a lot more than $1.99 worth of joy out of that candle.
I had a good laugh but I am not one of you! I can spend but if it’s over $20 I think about it long and hard but $1.99 would not make me agonize. Great article, Crystal.
Ka
I always have those moments 🙂 I can spend 2 hours at the Dollar Tree trying to decide if I am acutally willing to pay a dollar for something. Even if it’s on my list, I try to run down an invisible list in my head, trying to decide if there is something at home I could use instead. Now, since I put it on the list at home, chances are, there’s nothing at home that would substitue the item.
Mmm but those Fall candles do smell so good!
p.s. I used to be a spender! Then I married a spender, and had kids, and now I am extremely careful with every.single.purchase.
I do that at the Dollar Tree too. LOL. When you shop sales and coupon you always ask yourself, “Hmmm, could my dollar be spent more wisely on something else?” Glad to know I’m not the only one. 🙂
I am just as bad, If it’s not on price match or I don’t have a coupon I agonize over it…I drive my hubby crazy. Eventually it will pay off though. I’ll join your frugal weirdos club.
I went back and forth about buying a cream filled donut on national cream filled donut day… I actually talked myself out of it because I didn’t really need the calories and I decided that money could be better spent on groceries. Not sure how much ONE donut costs, but I’m pretty sure I might have been a little OVER frugal there. I’m glad you bought the candle. 🙂
You are one wild and crazy gal!! I do the exact same thing though, even on simple little $1.99 purchases. Thanks for sharing, you made me smile.
Haha! I can totally relate.